


Ilse's Journal (Female!Hanji Zoë x Female!Reader)

by CarrieMadeleineGara



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 49th expedition, 57th Expedition, Adventure, Angst, Blood, Carrie Gara, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Commander Erwin, Corporal Levi - Freeform, Cross-Posted on Quotev, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Death, Experimentation, Experiments, F/F, Fanfic, Fanfiction, Female Reader, Female Titan Arc, Female!Reader - Freeform, Girl x Girl, Goes up to Chapter 31 of Manga, Hange Zoë's Experiments, Hange's Squad - Freeform, Hanji and Reader Fall in Love, Hanji's Squad - Freeform, Horror, Ilse's Journal, Jealous!Hanji, Lesbian, Lesbian Relationship, Levi Squad, Love, Mutual Pining, Platonic to romance, Post-57th Expedition, Protective!Hanji, Reader Insert, Reader is AFAB in this story, Romance, Season 1, Section Commander Hange, Section Commander Hanji, Slow Burning, Slow Romance, SnK Novel, Special Operations Squad - Freeform, Squad Levi - Freeform, Tests, Titan Shifters, Titan experiments, Titans, Trost, Trost Arc (Shingeki no Kyojin), Updated Every Wednesday, Updated weekly, Wall Maria - Freeform, Wall Rose - Freeform, Wall Sina - Freeform, Year 847, Year 850, abnormal titans, aot - Freeform, aot fanfic, aot novel, aot x reader, attack on titan - Freeform, best friends fall in love, erwin is commander, expedition - Freeform, fall of trost, female Hanji, female hange, female!hange, forest, friends fall in love, hange x reader, hange zoe x reader, hanji squad, hanji x reader, hanji zoe x reader - Freeform, pure titans, season one, shingeki no kyojin - Freeform, slowburn, snk, snk fanfic, snk x reader - Freeform, squad hanji, talking titan, woman x woman, x Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:48:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 51
Words: 220,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24189916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarrieMadeleineGara/pseuds/CarrieMadeleineGara
Summary: (Y/N) (L/N) was just like any other ordinary scout in the Survey Corps until Ilse’s journal is found and her whole world is flipped upside down.  Seeing things in a different light, she desperately tries to discover the true origin of the titans one experiment at a time with her new best friend Hanji Zoë.  But when she starts to gain feelings for said section commander, will she have to give them up in order to fulfill what she believes is her duty as a soldier?  Or can she have her cake and eat it too?((Edited up to Chapter 1!!!!  ^^))
Relationships: Eld Jinn & Reader, Eren Yeager & Reader, Erwin Smith & Reader, Gunther Schultz & Reader, Hange Zoë & Eren Jaeger, Hange Zoë & Levi, Hange Zoë & Levi & Erwin Smith, Hange Zoë & Other(s), Hange Zoë & Reader, Hange Zoë/Reader, Hange Zoë/You, Hanji Zoe/Reader, Levi & Petra Ral, Levi & Reader, Moblit Berner & Hange Zoë, Moblit Berner & Reader, Oluo Bozado & Eld Jinn & Petra Ral & Gunther Schultz, Oluo Bozado & Eld Jinn & Petra Ral & Gunther Schultz & Levi, Oluo Bozado & Eld Jinn & Petra Ral & Gunther Schultz & Reader, Oluo Bozado & Eld Jinn & Petra Ral & Gunther Schultz & Reader & Levi, Oluo Bozado/Petra Ral, Oluo Bozard & Reader, Petra Ral & Reader
Comments: 450
Kudos: 621





	1. An Abnormal Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Heya! Just popping in to say that I also have this story on my Quotev (https://www.quotev.com/CarrieMadeleineGara) and on my Wattpad (https://www.wattpad.com/user/CarrieMadeleineGara) along with (not completely up to date) they/them and he/him pronouns for Hanji on my Quotev (It's the same story with only the pronouns changed lmao)
> 
> Thanks for checking this out!!
> 
> ((Also! I'm so terribly sorry, but it does take me a while to respond to comments ^^'' Half the time I have to choose between writing the next chapter or responding to comments, and I'm sure that you guys appreciate the chapters more than my silly replies haha That being said, I will respond to all comments that I feel are addressed to me, it might just take me a while :3))

𝐓𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐃𝐀𝐘, 𝐌𝐀𝐘 𝟔𝐓𝐇, 𝟖𝟒𝟕 𝐀𝐓 𝟏𝟑:𝟒𝟏

⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺

“ _Think about it, Erwin,_ ” Hanji said, slamming her hands onto the desk where the map -that said commander’s eyes were scanning over, paying the woman no mind- laid flat upon its wooden surface. Her voice held a firmness that _told_ Erwin to listen to her, not just brush her off as he had done countless times before, “I understand that setting up supply bases takes priority, but uncovering the true nature of the titans has always been our primary objective! I’m sure you’re aware of that!”

Moblit -the woman’s personal assistant- heard the tone in her voice, slightly and hesitantly reaching out his hand from his place behind her as he gave her a polite warning, “Section commander… It’s probably not a good idea to talk to the commander in tha-”

“Shut the hell up!” she suddenly shouted and interrupted him, promptly turning her head to the side and sending a heated glare towards the brown-haired man who was always there for her -her spheres set ablaze with a determination and partial passion through her goggles that could make anyone falter as she then redirected her focus, continuing to address Erwin, “We _need_ to capture one alive above anything else! Look, I… I know that it seems impossible.” she admitted smally, “The last time we took one alive was more than fifteen years ago, and more than twenty people died in order to pull it off -but we cannot get any intel if we are afraid of making sacrifices!” Holding her breath, Hanji waited a few seconds for his response as she took in his features; the girl trying to find any telltale signs that this time would be the one she would finally get through to him.

She truly couldn’t emphasise it to him enough; humanity _needed_ to test on them.

The cerulean-eyed male turned his head away from the map and looked at the soldier to his right, “Pay extra attention to our offence and defence; we don’t want a repeat of last time.” The soldier nodded their head -letting out an, “Understood, Commander Erwin.”- before running out of the tent they were in to pass on the news to their fellow comrades and carry out the task for themself.

Once he left, Erwin casted an annoyed glance at the messy-haired girl in front of him, “Do we have to go through this again?”

For a moment the words hung in the air, the female he was talking to not relenting while her glare only intensified, determined to stand her ground against the higher-ranking man as she pressed for an answer. The commander only sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose -then tried to explain again, for seemingly the millionth time, why they couldn’t make a capture mission like she so desperately wanted, “We don’t have enough manpower to spare for a capture; the Survey Corps has limited men as it already is. Even getting this far today cost us more than ten men.”

“I know that, but-”

“ _Hanji_ ,” he deadpanned annoyedly, giving her a look as he cut her off, “Your proposal is rejected.” The taller blonde didn’t spare her a second look as he then made his way out of the tent, another soldier that had been on his side following close behind him.

“Hey!” Hanji shouted, trying to get the commander to turn around and change his mind while she followed him, Moblit not far behind, “Wait, Erwin!”

You could finally see the woman who was arguing for the capture of a titan as she left the fabric cover of the tent, having been eavesdropping for almost the entire conversation from the outside. Most people don’t even want to think about titans, the way the gigantic, humanoid beasts pulverized people into barely recognisable corpses too much for the average individual. But not Hanji; she was always trying to convince Commander Erwin -beg even- to let her get a titan to experiment on. It was safe to say that, for the most part, no one agreed it was worth the efforts of the lives that would be lost to do so -especially when the number of soldiers in the Survey Corps was already very limited.

“It’s no use Hanji,” the sandy blonde teen said next to you, a rather arrogant aspect in his voice as he chose to call the high-ranking soldier by her name, “We put our lives on the line just trying to kill the damn things. There’s no way we can take one alive.” Your eyes widened the tiniest bit as the soldier said the words. ‘ _Yeah, he’s rather bold with his words, but to think he blatantly said that to a section commander…_ ’

Hanji rid of the distance in between herself and the boy, roughly grabbing his collar with both of her hands and lifting him off the ground a little as she made sure his focus was on her, “Think about _this_ , Oluo,” she started, addressing the young adult by his name, “Let’s say Levi’s coming and he’s dead set on killing you. What would you do? Can you fight him and survive?” She brought her face closer and closer to his with each question as she referenced humanity’s strongest, becoming more and more intimidating with every word that passed her lips; Oluo struggled to get air into his lungs, an effect the woman didn’t even realize she was causing on the choking boy as she lost herself in the argument, “ᴼᶠ ᶜᵒᵘʳˢᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ,” he sputtered out with a smaller tone, given as he was practically suffocating, “ᴴ⁻ᴴᵉʸ, ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿ’ᵗ ᵇʳᵉᵃᵗʰᵉ.”

If the brunette heard him, she chose to ignore him; a crazed look painted on her face as she bore her hues into his light brown ones through her goggles, “Want me to tell you how you can win that fight?”

She didn’t stop for more than a second, opting to explain before he even tried to answer, “You do your homework. The place he works, the food he hates, his taste in women, the number of times he takes a piss… You find out everything you can about him. Once you know him, you can find a weakness that you can exploit; if you don’t do that before you fight, you will die for sure.” His face got considerably more tensed as she went on, and you were debating saying something before she accidentally killed him -however, it seemed like Petra, the red-headed girl next to you, had the same idea as she beat you to it before you could even start to say anything, “Section commander, please!”

Even Moblit himself had decided that she was losing it, taking a step closer to Hanji with slightly anxious hues, “Section commander, you’re going too far!” he cried, trying to get her to see that what she was doing wasn’t the smart move. Hanji glared her eyes to the side in thought -although not directed at anyone in particular- before she let the boy go. Oluo fell onto his behind as Hanji got her usual, cheery like persona back, so quickly to the point where it was borderlining creepy, “Ah, my bad,” she spoke with a nonchalant chuckle, “But you get my point, right?”

Hanji already started to walk away, once again not waiting for a response from the partially dazed soldier on the ground who lightly soothed his lower back with his right hand -presumably where he abruptly met the grass-covered floor. Moblit looked back at the fallen boy before he himself turned and went after the woman, ‘ _Probably to make sure she doesn’t get into any more trouble_ ’.

“ᶠᵘᶜᵏ, ˢʰᵉ ᵈᵃᵐⁿ ⁿᵉᵃʳ ᵏⁱˡˡᵉᵈ ᵐᵉ…” Oluo muttered to himself before raising the tone of his voice to a normal level, “That bitch is insane, I swear she belongs in a nuthouse or something.” He continued to complain while rubbing his neck, partially scowling at the girl he was talking about as both she and her assistant went out of your view.

“You know, you’re a part of the Survey Corps,” Petra chastised him as she put a hand on her hip, scrunching her brows at him in a silent scolding for his behaviour, “So could you do something about that barbaric way of speaking? It’s unseemly.” He looked up at her with a puzzled look gracing his features from his position on the ground, his face in a look of disbelief, “Huh? Why am _I_ getting the lecture?”

Choosing to stay out of the little bicker between them, you kept your mouth shut, ‘ _It’s not like I can change Hanji choking him anyways, and if I join in with them, it’s bound to end with one of them hurt that I didn’t side with them._ ’ You justified your silence in your thoughts as you directed your eyes at Petra, who was about to probably tell him that insubordination is not the best route to take -which you found yourself agreeing with whole-heartedly at the moment.

For a brief second she opened her mouth, but wasn’t able to get anything out before she was interrupted by Eld -another soldier you worked closely with and one of your best friends, “ᴾᵉᵗʳᵃ, ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒⁿᵉ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵉˢᵗᵒᶜᵏⁱⁿᵍ? ᵂᵉ’ʳᵉ ᵍᵒⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˢᵒᵒⁿ!” He yelled over with cupped hands, being a good way aways still from the three of you outside of the tent. Petra, who quickly forgot about what she was doing prior, answered the blonde with a blatant lie, “Yes, Eld! I’m almost done!” she shouted back as she sweat-dropped, then running off to continue her task as she had been before she got distracted by Hanji’s yelling -just as you and Oluo had. You could see Eld lightly shake his head and smile, clearly knowing that the girl had not been working on her given task as he waved to you and Oluo, you waving back for the both of you. And after an exchange of smiles and knowing looks -that the strawberry blonde had been untruthful- you saw him turn back around from where he came from as Oluo let out a few more complaints to himself.

“You think that lunatic went too far, don’t you (Y/N)?” You looked over at him, momentarily observing the way his shirt was slightly dishevelled from the encounter and replying the events that had just happened in your head, exhaling the oxygen you held in your lungs when you came to an answer, “I do think she might have gone overboard with what she did.”

“Thank you. _Finally,_ som-”

“That being said, I _do_ think she had a good point.”

“Not you too!” he grumbled as he accepted the hand that you offered to him. You pulled him off the ground, “I’m just saying that what she said was _actually_ reasonable. I’ve never thought of it like that before, but the best way to defeat your enemy is to know them -and the titans _are_ our enemy, gigantic, terrifying man-eaters or not.”

Oluo looked down at the ground, “I guess,” he mumbled, letting a small passage of silence into the conversation before he interrupted it, “They’re not _that_ scary though.” he said aloud, picking his head up and puffing his chest out a little; his ego had certainly been restored, as shown through his gestures. “If you say so,” you replied unbelievingly, holding back the urge to roll your eyes at his clearly false statement, “Maybe you should help Section Commander Hanji out with those titan experiments if she ever gets her hands on one.” You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your lips as you saw the small look of panic that washed over his face at the thought of testing on those beasts with the woman who had just threatened him, “I have important duties being a soldier, I can’t just quit those to waste my time with titan testing!”

Giggling, you took a few steps away from the overconfident man, “Ok, ok.” you made sure the sarcasm that laced your playful voice was very evident to the male who was crossing his arms, “I have to go now though, I should fix up Chestnut’s saddle and probably feed her something; she hasn’t eaten since this morning when we left.” You saw him nod his head to you as you patted the apple you had in your pocket -him understanding that you were talking about your mare that you had endearingly named Chestnut. “I guess I’ll go help with restocking then,” Oluo unenthusiastically said, before waving at you and turning around himself, heading where Petra had gone not too long ago, “See you.”

“Yup, see you.”

It didn’t take you long to make your way over to where your horse was, the loyal companion still where you had left her before, “Heya there, girl,” you greeted as you ran your hand between her eyes, trying to rid of any possible debris that might have collected in her brown hair during the time that you had been gone, “How are you feeling?” Fishing out the apple that had hidden in your pocket, you held it in front of your horse’s mouth, silently telling her to eat it.

And eat it she did. It took her almost no time at all to finish it.

Chuckling smally, you moved yourself to her side and started doing what you needed to, “Let me fix up your saddle real quick; the saddle blanket underneath got jostled up when we were riding before,” you explained to her as if she could understand you, ‘ _I feel like she can at times anyways._ ’ Sticking true to your word, you unbuckled the saddle and placed it on the ground gently, fixing up the blanket underneath.

“ᵀʰᵉʳᵉ’ˢ ᵐᵒᵛᵉᵐᵉⁿᵗ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵒʳᵉˢᵗ!” Your eyes widened as you were startled from the sudden yell, jumping slightly before you heard Erwin’s reply and command from not too far off, “ᴬˡˡ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒⁿⁿᵉˡ, ᵖʳᵉᵖᵃʳᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᶜᵒᵐᵇᵃᵗ!”

The yells, although faint, were clearly heard without a problem as you saw many soldiers running to their own horses nearby, you hastily putting the blanket back on your horse with a few tries -the suddenness easily taking you off-guard as you slightly stumbled.

“ˢᵉᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵃⁿᵈᵉʳ ᴴᵃⁿʲⁱ, ⁱᵗ’ˢ ᵗᵒᵒ ᵈᵃⁿᵍᵉʳᵒᵘˢ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒ ᵃˡᵒⁿᵉ!”

“ᴱʳʷⁱⁿ! ᴵ’ᵐ ᵍᵒⁱⁿᵍ ᵒⁿ ᵃʰᵉᵃᵈ!” Your eyes flitted over the scene as Moblit tried to stop the careless woman with a desperate plea; all while she rushed off, getting out of Moblit’s reach a little too soon for him to grab her and prevent her from leaving.

“ᴴᵃⁿʲⁱ, ʷᵃⁱᵗ!” Erwin shouted, trying to get her to stop as well -when he realized that his attempts were futile however, he turned around and met eyes with Levi, the lance corporal who led your own squad, “ᴸᵉᵛⁱ!”

He didn’t say much as he simply got on his horse and chased after her, “ᵀᶜʰ, ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵐᵒʳᵒⁿ.”

You blinked your eyes as you realized that -because Levi was going- it meant that your squad was too; throwing the saddle on the back of your horse, you promptly tried to do the buckles of your horse's saddle as quickly as possible. Looking up for a second, you noted that the Special Operations Squad was in fact catching up behind Levi -causing you to try to memorize where you saw your squad enter the forest as they went out of view.

Clasping the last buckle, you hopped on your horse and rode towards the forest, hoping to be able to catch up with your squad before you ran into any titans. If it weren’t for your rush, you probably would have stopped to admire the beauty of the enormous trees that partly blocked the sunlight as you entered the thick forest -the various patches of sunlight casted themselves on the uneven ground of the trail you were riding on, and the slight rustle of the many tree’s branches chorused together with the birds that happily sung their tune. Despite the calming environment however, you felt your heartbeat quicken as you heard quickened thuds -that could only originate from a titan- getting closer and closer to where you were, ‘ _Or am I getting closer to him?_ ’

_Thud, thud, thud._

Noticing the small bushes and shrubbery shudder, you felt an uneasiness settle into your stomach -the feeling twisting and turning in your stomach uncomfortably as it made itself at home.

_Thud, thud, thud._

Then you saw the monster itself break through the brush to your left, easily towering over everything there -save for the trees who couldn’t be topped by even the biggest titan. You quickly reared your horse to a stop abruptly as you noticed it turned to its left, running away from you -but surprisingly the fact that the titan didn’t go after you wasn’t what threw you off.

No, that was saved for the fact that Hanji herself soon broke through the same clearing, seemingly chasing the titan as she gave no signs of stopping anytime soon, ‘ _He’s running away from her…? That’s a first._ ’

You didn’t waste any time in rushing after her, leaning your body forwards as you urged your horse to run faster; you wanted to shout her name, get her to stop and realize that that six-meter titan wouldn’t run from her forever, but you held your tongue. ‘ _If the titan is running from her, maybe he won’t turn around unless provok-_ ’

“Hey, wait up!” she shouted loudly, interrupting your thoughts and possibly garnering the attention of any other nearby titans as she did so, causing you to sweatdrop and feel a cold rush of adrenaline to sweep over you in worry.

You knew she was crazy, but you didn’t think she was _this_ gone, ‘ _She knows that these beasts_ kill _people, right?!_ ’

_Thud, thud, thud._

Seeing as the titan didn’t turn around -or thank the Walls listen to her- you hesitantly called out to Hanji to beg the higher-up to stop, “S-Section commander! I don’t think this is a good idea!” you paused momentarily -trying to think of a good way to convince her that this was not only stupid, but possibly lethal, “Please, for your safety, stop!”

Hanji turned her head behind her for a second, seeing that you were close by, “Oh, (Y/N)! Help me capture this titan, I’m sure he’ll make the perfect testing specimen!” she shouted back, ignoring your words altogether.

“What?!” you couldn’t help but outcry, looking to her incredulously as you protested, “No! Section Commander Hanji, please!” you once again pleaded as the two of you now took the same right turn that the blonde titan did mere seconds before.

“If you’re not going to help then turn back! I need to do this!” She yelled as she sped up a little, getting closer to the titan who was just now entering an enclosed endroit. You were about to counter back that you weren’t going to just leave her behind, still following right behind her, when the titan stopped in front of a tree, looking up at it with its big blue eyes that looked as if they were watering the smallest bit. You and Hanji slowed your horses and halted them at the beginning of the clearing -looking up at the titan who ran to this tree while it slammed its head into the tree that towered over said monster in height. “ᵂ⁻ᵂʰᵃ…” the shocked words died on the tip of your tongue as you couldn’t bring yourself to finish your sentence, only being able to watch in bewilderment as small spots of blood flooded past the titans now roughened-up flesh and splattered about, ‘ _This is definitely an abnormal titan._ ’

Hanji slid herself off of her horse in awe, taking a few steps to the titan slowly in curiosity, “What’s wrong…?” she asked as if it would respond, cocking a brow as she continued stepping closer. You hopped off your horse cautiously, mentally preparing yourself to spring into action if this titan tried to do anything fishy -not only did you not want to perish today, but the woman at your side was very important to the current expedition you were on and not expandable by no means. The section commander took out her blades; instead of getting ready for combat however, she put the blade part of her 3DMG away and grasped her hands around the portion that controlled her wires tighter, “What are you doing?”

You felt your mouth dry, and you found yourself unable to tell her to step back to safety. The titan was still smashing its head, and you saw bark fly off of the tree and land on the ground as Hanji continued to take steps closer to the beast, “Is this the place you wanted to go?”

Gasping, you saw the titan suddenly stop and take a swing at Hanji that she narrowly avoided, having just jumped out of the hand’s way that it had thrown at her. Your aghast eyes watched as she didn’t waste any time using her gear to get up higher and out of its reach, flying herself up to a branch that stemmed from the tree the titan had been banging its head into. “ᵂᵒᵃʰ, ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʷᵃˢ ᶜˡᵒˢᵉ!” she shouted in the distance with a smile adorning her face, having been excited at the titan’s responsiveness. You, however, were the polar opposite of Hanji at that moment, feeling dread creep up and settle itself as your primary emotion; the titan had turned itself towards you.

Your body tensed as you saw the titan get ready to lunge at you, being too scared and not able to think or react properly at first besides weakly out your sharpened edges before you in a faible defence.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Hanji diverted the titan’s attention from you in a louder voice, calling out as she got down from the branch and walked closer to the titan, “I’ll hear you out!” A confused and pained look passed through the titans face, and it reached its hands up to its face and almost scratched at the air -as if trying to hold itself back from doing something, ‘ _I… This is one strange abnormal…_ ’ With everything that was going on, you didn’t even notice Oluo enter the clearing, swinging himself towards the titan with a determined look set upon his features, “I’ve got this!” he yelled with full intent to end the beast that started this whole chase. His concentrated face soon turned into one of complete confusion as Hanji shouted to him however, “Oluo, don’t do it!”

“ᴴ⁻ᴴᵘʰ?”

You felt panic flood your body as your fellow soldier was grasped between the fingers of the pale titan, said beast that he had been so adamant on killing holding the man’s arms tight to his sides easily without a second thought, effectively rendering him unable to defend himself with a deafening scream tearing out of his throat.

Realising what was happening, you started running towards the titan -onlooking in horror as Oluo was brought closer to the mouth of the titan, who’s full intent was to kill _him_ this time- you being desperate to save someone close enough to you for you to consider them family. You felt like crying as you realized with horror that you wouldn’t be able to reach him in time -but regardless you pushed yourself harder, screaming at the titan to stop, ‘ _I can’t save him if I don’t at least try!_ ’

“ _HEY FUCKTARD, OVE-!_ ”

Crimson blood spilt upon the ground once again, Levi coming out of nowhere and slicing the titan’s arm that was holding the flailing teen. You stopped in your tracks as the heels of your boots dug into the forest’s floor, your body going rigid as you watched the scene play out in front of you. Swinging his way through the air, your lance corporal sent one of the hooks at the end of his wires at the nape of the titan, only taking seconds to end what was once a threat with sharpened blades.

You heard Hanji gasp as Levi looked at the boy who was still in the titan’s hand, albeit severed off from its steaming corpse, “Are you ok?” he asked as he wiped the blades of his 3DMG clean -with his white handkerchief that he always kept in his pocket, on an expedition or not.

“Lance corporal…” Oluo sniffled, a little bit of snot dripping out of his nose as he became understandably emotional, “I’ll follow your orders forever!”

Levi didn’t spend too much on the shaken boy -knowing that he would be ok- and looked at Hanji, who was currently mourning over the death of the titan, “This child was to be… an important specimen. If we could have captured him, humanity might have taken the next step forward.”

The ravenette you worked under took clear offence to this, seeing as he walked to Hanji and grabbed her collar with one hand, “Shut up you four-eyed _bitch_!” he spat as he glared at her, “If you want to end up as titan shit, I won’t stop you. But don’t you _dare_ endanger the lives of my men!” Hanji only blinked a few times before responding, seemingly unbothered by the man’s harsh words or simply feigning obliviousness to the rage they held, “Titans don’t defecate, they don’t have a digestive system.”

Levi took a second, his grey orbs raking over her face as he processed the information and eventually let her go, sighing with annoyance as he did so.

Petra, who must have entered the scene the same time Levi did, casted her eyes downwards -and it was only now that you realized that Eld and Gunther, your other best friend, were here too, the two standing not too far behind you as they watched everything unfold as well. You looked at the red-head in sympathy; she never was one to like pointless violence, being the peaceful and kind-hearted girl she was. Seeing her lift her head up in surprise all of the sudden, the fright on her face was easily readable to you as she brought her hands together in front of her chest to try and console herself, the girl asking with a shaky voice, “ᴰⁱ⁻… Did a t-titan do that…?”

Levi looked at her as she spoke, not understanding what she meant as she took a few steps back, “What are you talking about?”

Petra raised an unsteady finger, her right arm outstretched towards the tree the titan had been bashing its head into. You felt your breath catch in your throat as you saw what she was talking about; in the tree, there was a hollowed-out cavity that housed a soldier.

But not any soldier.

This one was a partially decayed -yet sitting up straight- cadaver that was missing a head. You could slightly see the off-white bones of a spine sticking out where parts of the neck had rotted, and their hands were mere bones that were in a similar or worse state than their visible spine. A chill was left rolling throughout your body at the sight -not because of their current state, but because it looked as if they had been placed there with care.

Oluo let out a girly scream -probably imagining himself in place of them given the encounter he had just had- as Hanji made her way up to where they rested, not showing any fear, but rather pure curiosity. She reached her hand out to the soldier’s sleeve, grabbing the emblem that was sewn on the left side of their jacket and reading it, “ᵀʰᵉ ˢᵒˡᵈⁱᵉʳ’ˢ ⁿᵃᵐᵉ ʷᵃˢ… ᴸᵉᵗ’ˢ ˢᵉᵉ…” you could hear her mumble as she struggled to make out the patch that was worn, “Ilse Langnar.” She said as she turned towards Levi, “I can’t believe it. Why would a titan do such…” she stopped herself short as she looked at what Levi had in his hands, “Levi? What’s that?”

You swivelled your head to the male as Hanji unintentionally turned your attention to him, and he flipped through the tattered pages of a journal that was obviously not his; not only was it not the current version of the booklets that the Survey Corps issued to their soldiers, but it was also dirty, ‘ _And the Walls forbid he own anything dirty._ ’

“It’s the fruit of Ilse Langnar’s labour.”

‘ _The fruit of her labour…? What exactly does he mean by that?_ ’ you pondered while Hanji had made her way over to him, gesturing her hands outwards to ask permission to have the journal. Levi didn’t say anything as he handed it over, staring at the ground in a disturbed thought, ‘ _What could possibly be so shocking about her journal that it managed to stun Levi…? I didn’t think that there was anything that could even startle him._ ’ Hanji pocketed the notebook, putting it in the brown empty breast pocket of her jacket and giving Levi a look that seemed to communicate some sort of wordless speech between the two.

“Everyone, fall back. We’re going back to base.” Levi bluntly said as if nothing had happened at all minutes prior, regaining his usual behaviour within the blink of an eye as he walked to his horse -the other members of the Special Operations Squad following suit. You followed everyone’s example and hopped on Chestnut, your mind circulating with inquisitive thoughts as you did so, ‘ _Was there more to that titan than just being an abnormal? I’ve never seen a titan act like that before in all my two years in the Survey Corps…_ ’ Your eyes traced the tree that still held Ilse’s body, her corpse now open to all who wanted to see it. ‘ _This is rather disturbing, I… just how much about the titans do we not know?_ ’

“(Y/N)!” you heard Gunther call your name, pulling you out of your internal questions as you shook your head, trying to focus on the task at hand; getting back to the base. Whipping your head at the dark brown-haired male -who had Eld at his side- you nodded, seeing that everyone else had already left while you had been in your own la-la-land, “Sorry guys, just uh, just got lost in my thoughts again.”

You turned your horse in the direction that they were, them still waiting for you, “When are you not?” Gunther teased, soon after being backed up by Eld who let out a small snort, “Really, that’s all she seems to do these days.” Ignoring them and only supplying the two males a roll of your eyes, you rode forward to catch up and matched their pace with both of them at either of your sides, soon after looking back at the tree with concern and confusion in your eyes.

‘ _What happened here?_ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 14 May, 2020!
> 
> ((Also, please don't mind the inconsistancies with the first few chapters with the smaller text and formatting, I'm editing rn ^^'' 2021-2-24))


	2. The Journal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun writing this chapter, it's probably my favorite out of the five I have so far lmao
> 
> Have fun y'all, and once again, thank you so much for checking this out!!!!

**Thursday, May 6th, 847 at 19:51**

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You stirred your bean soup in thought, not really paying attention to the way the beans twirled around your metal spoon in the liquid. Resting your cheek in your hand, you matched a lot of the other soldiers in the mess hall. No one was ever really happy when coming back from an expedition, the amounts of lives lost always weighing down on everyone -it didn’t even matter if no one you knew died, it all hurt. In fact, sometimes it hurts more when no one you knew died because when you find that out, the relief you feel at first often morphs into guilt because of said relief. After all, someone somewhere is mourning the loss, and it’s rather selfish of you to be glad it wasn’t you or your friends.

So it always ended up hurting a lot, no matter the outcome.

Well, it usually did. Typically you would be feeling more downcast than you currently felt, but you couldn’t get your mind off what had happened before. ‘ _Just what was in that journal? It couldn’t have been that mind-blowing, right?_ ’ you tried to postulate a reasonable answer in your head, but you could never think of one that satisfied you. There was always some sort of counter against it, whether it was that it was too outlandish, not outlandish enough, or just didn’t make sense as to why Ilse would have written it in her journal. It wasn’t just the journal you had been wondering about though, for the past few hours you couldn’t help the countless questions that formed in your head about titans in general that came from your theories, ‘ _There’s just so much we don’t know about them, where they come from, how they reproduce, hell, we don’t even know how their bodies disappear._ ’ You felt yourself frown a little at your own lack of answers.

You picked your head up and placed your utensil on the lip of the tiny bowl your -now mostly cold- soup was in. You threw a glance over to the table where Erwin, Miche, Dita, Hanji and Levi sat, seeing that they also seemed to be more quiet than usual, just like your table here with Gunther, Eld, Oluo and Petra. Without any interest, you picked up a roll on your tray and took a small bite out of it, ‘ _I have to start with that journal… How in the world am I going to find out what was in it though…_ ’ you thought as you swallowed and took a bigger bite this time, _‘It’s not like I can just go into Hanji’s office and find the stupid thing…_ ’

You sighed as you started to chew on the bread, before your eyebrows raised and your eyes widened, ‘ _The Walls, that’s it! Hanji’s here eating dinner for once, I can just go in and see what it is now!_ ’ During your excitement, you accidentally swallowed your bite that you weren’t done chewing, and your hands flew up to your neck as you seemingly hacked your lungs up. The four others at your table casted worried glances your way, you even managed to gather the attention of a few other soldiers at different tables, “Are you ok there, (Y/N)?” Gunther asked. You only nodded your head, unable to do much as your irritated throat made you cough even after you had managed the bread down. You gave him a thumbs-up as well, trying to convince him that you were actually ok and not currently dying. Taking your hand, you grasped the cool glass cup and brought it to your lips, trying to soothe your throat.

It took you a few moments, but you finally calmed your throat down. You looked down in embarrassment, ‘ _Well that was humiliating._ ’ Placing your cup down back on the wooden table -producing a dull click sound when the two met- you wiped your hand that was damp from the condensation on your pants. ‘ _I think that’ll make a reasonable excuse to leave dinner early though,_ ’ you thought optimistically, “Hey guys?” Everyone at your table perked their heads up a little, signifying that they were listening as your voice echoed out, “I think I’m going to check in early tonight, my throats a little sore from all that coughing, and I’m kinda worn out from today.” You stood up from your seat at the table, “Good night guys.”

You heard them say their goodnights back in sync, too exhausted themselves really to say much more. You weren’t really offended either, as you probably would have done the same if the circumstances were different.

You threw out your half uneaten dinner and put the tray and your dirty dishes where they belonged, waiting in their spot for the chefs to take them back. Making your way to the doors of the mess hall and looking at Hanji, you saw that she was staring at the table in thought like you had been yourself not too long ago,’ _I wonder if she’s thinking about what Ilse wrote in her journal?_ ’ You made multiple twists and turns in the hallways, knowing the layout of the Survey Corps HQ like the back of your hand -it was only given that you would become accustomed to the building though with how long you have been working here, ‘ _In fact, I’m sure it would be concerning if I_ didn’t _know my way around by now._ ’

It didn’t take you long until you reached Hanji’s door, the plaque with _Hanji Zoë, Section Commander_ giving it away, shining ever so slightly from the light given to it by the candles that decorated the walls of the halls. You put your hand on the knob as you began to get second thoughts about barging into Hanji’s room just to satisfy your curiosity, ‘ _I don’t even wanna think about all the kinds of trouble I’m going to get into if I get caught_ ’ you sighed and turned the knob, ‘ _I guess that’s a risk I’ll have to take to find out_ ’

You entered the room, hearing a groan coming from the floorboards as you stepped in. It was rather dark inside, as there was a singular lantern that was lit on a desk, ‘ _A fire hazard._ ’ There wasn’t much in the still room from what you could see. There was the desk with the lantern on it, the desk placed itself before a window -basking in the moonlight that shone its beams through the glass panes. There was a couch of sorts pressed against a wall that was only a good few feet away from you when you entered the room, with a coffee table in front of it. Lastly, there was a small table that placed itself to your left, and you could imagine that at some point in time it could have been clear of all of the papers that currently found their homes on it. Some chairs were surrounding it as well, placed neatly and surprisingly all pushed in. You could also see two doors on the left wall past the table, and you could only assume that one was a bedroom and one was a bathroom. ‘ _There’s no point in checking what the other rooms are though, I’m only here for the journal,_ ’ you reminded yourself before adding onto your original thought, ‘ _Unless it’s not in this room._ ’

You first stopped by the table and shifted through the piles of papers carefully, making sure not to mix up any papers and leave behind evidence that someone was here. ‘ _Not that it looks like any of these are actually in any order._ ’ you realized as you got through more and more of the papers, ‘ _Just how in the world does she keep all of these organized?_ ’ You saw various types of papers, some that looked like they needed to be filled out still, while others looked like they were old and frayed. Picking up one of the battered papers, you turned it towards the moonlight on your right as you tried to make out the lettering on it, ‘ _Keith Shadis… titans… expedition…_ ’ You put the paper down as you soon lost interest, not bothering to try and read any more of the messy script.

Seeing that the journal you wanted didn’t seem like it resided there on the table, you quietly walked over to her desk, lifting the lantern and using it to your advantage. You sighed as you realized that the papers here were just as messy, if not, even more so. It wasn’t like you were a clean freak like your corporal, you just preferred that things were at least a little bit organised so then you could find them easily if need be. You picked up a pile of papers on the desk and started to shift through them like you had done with the ones on the table. The only difference was that this time when you lifted the stack up, something fell and hit the ground. ‘ _Oh! Is that it?_ ’ Your eyes sparkled with hope as you put the papers back down, not even bothering to line them up properly as they had been before. Bending down, you felt your fingers brush against the rough and tattered leather cover of the journal and grabbed it in your hand. You scanned your eyes over the cover, trying to remember what the journal Levi had held before looked like until you decided the best way to figure out would be to open it. ‘ _After all, if it’s not it, I’ll just put it back. I’m not here to pry into her personal life or anything,_ ’ you sounded in your head. You brought your left hand to the right side of the journal, and put your thumb between the cover and the first page, lifting it up and peeking at the words inside. Deciding that it would be easier to be able to read in the moonlight than the lantern, you leaned yourself against the wall next to the window, making sure to lean towards the light so you could see better.

It was hard for you to make out the words, it looked as if the girl had been doing something else as she had written this down, ‘ _What would she have been so busy doing that she couldn’t stop to write this down? And what would be so important for her to need to write down that she would even if she was already busy?_ ’ You decided that maybe the best way to figure that out would be to pay attention to the words she had scribbled down, and that’s exactly what you did;

_My name is Ilse Langnar. I am part of the 34th Expedition Beyond the Walls, Second Battalion, in charge of the perimeter defence. On our way back, we encountered some titans and I lost everyone in my squad, even my horse._

You could already see why Levi had looked startled before. Not even four sentences in, and Ilse was already writing down almost every scout’s fear -this was the kinda thing that you used to pass around during mess hall as a cadet. Hell, you were sure that you had even told one of your friends the story once, about a soldier being left outside of the walls, having to fend against nature and the titans for themselves. Some even rumoured that they knew people who had made it back inside the walls, but even twelve year old you knew that that wasn’t the most realistic turn of events. And if what Hanji said about the soldier in the tree’s name being Ilse Langnar, it seemed that she had met a logical -albeit unfair- end.

_My Maneuver Gear was damaged, so I had to leave it behind. I am running due north since I have lost my horse in the lands ruled by the titans. No human can outrun a titan on foot, and I have no comrades to rely on._

The sympathetic side of you wanted to help the already dead girl. The mere thought of being put in her place made tremors run throughout your body. ‘ _Just how long did she have to live in that hellhole of a world outside the walls before she died?_ ’ Thinking about having to sleep outside with titans about seemed impossible, ‘ _After all, who would be able to sleep if titans were around?_ ’ Another thought passed your mind before you flipped the page to read on to the next sentence, ‘ _Well, I know what she was doing that was so important before. It’s actually quite impressive now that I think about it, I’m not sure if I would be able to run and write at the same time._ ’

_My chances of returning to the city are despairingly low. However, if I avoid contact with the titans, I might be able to reach the wall. That’s right, right now, I must not give into fear. I have been prepared for this scenario since the day I joined the Scouting Legion. I am the wings of humanity, making its last stand. I am a member of the Scouting Legion! I will fight to the end, even if I end up dying! I have no weapons, but I can still fight!_

You felt a surge of pride and hope swell in your chest. ‘ _Yes! You can do it, don’t back down!_ ’ It was rather strange, you had only heard about this girl today -let alone meet her- yet you already felt as if you had known her for a lifetime, rooting her along as she tried to do the impossible, ‘ _Or maybe I want her to make it so then she can prove the odds wrong, I’ve always liked the story of the underdog winning._ ’

_I will record my experiences on this paper, and do everything I can! I will not give up! I will not give up! I will not… give up!_

**_Step, step, step, step._ **

You felt adrenaline rush through your veins as you heard a pair of footsteps walking down the hallway before you tried to reason with the possibility of those footsteps -in particular- being Hanji’s, ‘ _She isn’t the only one to have a room in this hallway._ ’ But then you heard her voice and you froze, unintentionally eavesdropping in on their conversation. It’s not like you could move, the floor was squeaky, and any sudden movements and you might give away your position. “Thanks, Moblit.” she said, her voice noticeably tired. You could hear a hum as a reply back, “Of course Section Commander.” You heard him take a step forward before the sound of the rustling of fabric came to your ears, “Wait, Moblit.” Hanji said as she took a breath, “I just, uh… I just wanted to apologize for how I treated you before. I was angry with Erwin, and well… It wasn’t fair to you.” A chuckle sounded from across the wooden door, “It’s ok Section Commander, I know you didn’t mean it.”

It went quiet outside the door until you heard a mumble come from Hanji’s part, but it had been too minute for you to be able to make out. A mumble replied to the first, and you could only assume that they were exchanging goodnights or something similar to it.

Then you heard footsteps walk away from the door, and you sweatdropped. ‘ _To duck or not to duck, that is the question_ ’ You didn’t have time to decide however, as you saw the handle slowly turn and twist, allowing for the maroon haired woman to enter the room. Staring with wide eyes, you watched her as she tilted her head back with closed eyes, mouth wide open in a yawn and arms stretched out. She walked further into the room before she finally opened her eyes. As soon as she did though, her brown orbs met with your (E/C) ones and she let out a little yelp before glaring at you, “What in the world do you think you’re doing here, (Y/N)?”

You gulped as you averted your eyes and looked down, “I wasn’t doing anything bad Section Commander Hanji, I just wanted to…” you shuffled your feet a little, feeling small in front of the unusually serious woman. You tried to think of something that sounded reasonable and would get you out of trouble, but in the end you came up empty-handed, ‘ _The truth it is then, I guess..._ ’

You restarted your thought, “I just wanted to see what was in the journal.” you slightly gestured to the journal that was still in your hands and braced yourself for her possible lecture as silence hung in the air. Hearing her sudden footsteps come closer to you, you felt the journal you had been holding in your hands be snatched out of your grasp, “Are you sure that’s all you were planning on doing? This seems like it would be pretty easy for you to have gotten rid of this journal given these circumstances, don’t you think?” Your face scrunched up in confusion as you went to defend yourself, “But Section Commander, I only wanted to know what happened! I swear to you I have and had no ill intentions!” You swore to her as you put your right hand on your chest where your heart erratically beat due to the situation, your left hand going behind your back.

The change in her voice was immediate, as she started to relax a little. She was still sceptical however, “If you just wanted to know what was in the journal, how come you didn’t just ask me about it?” she inquired. You didn’t miss a beat as you responded to her question, head locked forward looking straight at her and still in salute, not daring to break it yet, “I did not know if you would tell me what was inside, and if I had asked you and you said no, you might have been more cautious with the journal. I only wanted to know what was in it because I had seen Levi become startled by what he had read, and I started to wonder what could possibly be in it. I then had questions about titans stemming from these hypotheses that I came up with, and I ended up with more questions about titans then I knew what to do with.”

Your strong words became smaller as you neared the end of what you said, realising that you were rambling. You could hear Hanji murmur to herself for a second before she looked at you, “How far did you get?”

“Pardon?”

“How far in the journal did you get?” she repeated once more.

“The last part I remember reading was about where she said she wouldn’t give up, section commander”

“Ah, very well,” she opened up the journal and you suddenly understood that she was going to pick up where you left off when you saw her skip through some pages and scan her eyes over, looking for where Ilse had written that she would not give up, “I have encountered a titan.” she started, “It’s a seven- no, six-meter class. It didn’t attack me right away, is it an abnormal? This is the end of the line. This is as far as I go, I have lived a whimsical life. I haven’t done anything for my parents yet! I feel sick! The end. It just spoke. The titan just spoke.”

You listened as she read the words as they were written, putting emotion into the way she read the simple and short, yet meaningful, sentences. When she said that last part though, you felt your mouth dry. A titan, speaking? Surely it was coincidental, and it didn’t actually do so, ‘ _Humanity has been trying for a century to communicate with them, and this journal, no Ilse, is trying to tell me otherwise?_ ’

“No way, the titan is speaking words that I can understand. “Ymir’s people.” “Lady Ymir.” “Welcome.” There’s no doubt. This titan is showing facial expressions and it appears to be showing respect to me. I can’t believe it! For the first time in the history of humanity, I’m conversing with a titan?! I asked this titan about his nature. Instead of talking, it is moaning. I asked him for a location, but he didn’t respond. I ask him for a motive, bu- He has me between his teeth. I can feel them on my skull, like the pressure of a-” Hanji suddenly stopped, and you slightly leaned your body forwards to try and get her to finish the sentence, “Section commander, could you please continue?” you eagerly asked, wanting to know how the rest of it went. Hanji kept her eyes locked on the last words of the journal and shook her head, “There is no more to continue (Y/N), that’s where Ilse…” she trailed off and a look of understanding soon washed over your face, “O-oh.”

“It’s my turn to ask you a question now.” she said after a silence passed the room, “Did you genuinely mean it when you said you were having questions about the titans?” Asking the last part while lifting her head, you could see passion flow in her chocolate spheres, along with the tiniest hint of curiosity and hope that you’d say yes. You only nodded your head. Her reply was instantaneous, “What kind of questions have you been having?” This time she was the eager one to know more, and from your place still behind her desk, you informed her of some of the inquiries that had entered your mind since what had happened in the forest, “Well, I’ve just had some miscellaneous questions really, silly things like; does titan hair evaporate like the rest of its body? Do titans act differently in the rain because of how hot they are and the cooling factor of water? Oh! And what if titan blood was to be mixed with another liquid, will it form a bond and stay behind or evaporate?!” You couldn’t help your exclamation as it came out, the pure curiosity you had finally had an out -that out being your voice. You had only recognised what you had done once you had finished, and you stuttered out an apology afterwards, “S-sorry about that, I got a little carried away.”

You glanced up at Hanji and you were surprised to see that she had a contemplative look on her face, communicating to you that she was actually pondering over your questions.

She responded after a second, “Those are some good questions you have there… I have to say, I don’t think I’ve ever thought about something like that.” Thinking for a moment longer, she suddenly changed the subject, “You should probably head back to your room now (Y/N), soldiers are going to start to go to their rooms soon, and if you don’t want them to know that you lied to them about going to your room, I suggest you head over there soon.” You snapped your head up at her, shocked, “Section commander? I mean no disrespect, but how did you know that?” She turned her head to you, walking around the side of the desk that was furthest to you and plopped herself in the chair that rested behind it, the chair squeaking a little as she did so, “It’s not as loud in the mess hall as you must think.” she teased, giving you a knowing smile. “A-ah, I see,” you said as you made your way over to her door, “Thank you, section commander.”

“No problem.” was her response as you turned the metal handle to her door and stepped through it, “One more thing, (Y/N),” she said as she stopped you, “If you ever have any more questions, please don’t hesitate to ask me. I might have an answer one of these days.” she encouraged your curiosity.

You processed her words in your head, and nodded your head to show your agreement, “I will, Section Commander,” you paused as you hesitated your next words, debating if you should even risk saying them. ‘ _She wouldn’t get upset if I wished her a goodnight, at least I think so_ ’ You looked out in the hallway for a second -in the direction you were to head- before you turned back to her and said a quiet, “Good night.”

“Good night.” she echoed from her chair, already turning her attention to the unfilled paperwork on her desk.

**Sunday, May 9th, 847 at 20:12**

* * *

You jostled the light green bag that rested on your shoulders, feeling it pull you back a little. It wasn’t so heavy that you would suddenly fall over, but you weren’t sure that you could carry it around all day. Oluo huffed as he picked up the same sack that matched the one you were carrying, as Petra was already holding her share on her own back. He leaned to his right and placed it on his shoulder before he stood up straight once more, Corporal Levi watching his actions closely. The four of you were waiting for Hanji, as Levi needed to give her the news.

“How long has she been asking for one, corporal?” Petra asked, her voice as sweet as honey. He took a gander in her general direction lazily, the sun finding its way onto his face and in his steel eyes from his position leaning against the wall, “Not sure,” he said, “As long as I can remember.” You thought about what he said, ‘ _As long as he can remember? Just how long has he been in the Survey Corps? Did he join before Hanji did?_ ’ Oluo interrupted your thoughts as he kicked the ground ever so slightly with his left foot, something you often found him doing when he felt guilty. He had already talked to you about how he felt bad about getting that one titan killed -Levi had told your squad the day after you had snuck into Hanji’s room that the titan you had all seen had most likely been an abnormal, one that humanity might have benefitted knowing more about. He then proceeded to ask if you or your squad had seen or noted anything that the titan did that seemed really out of place.

The five of you had told him everything that you saw, and then you had all gone about your day normally.

Nothing more of it was said until about fifteen minutes ago -when Levi said that Hanji had been able to convince Erwin to let her capture a titan for testing. While it came to a surprise to the rest of your squad, it didn’t surprise you that much, as you had known what the titan had done, or rather said, according to the journal, ‘ _At least I’m assuming that that titan was the one in the journal. It seemed like it anyways._ ’

The outside alleyway the four of you were waiting went silent for a minute, everyone lost in their thoughts until soft footsteps could be heard coming closer.

Hanji made her way through an archway nearby and stopped when she saw you four. Oluo took a step forward, and studied the bricks that made the pathway, “Umm, section commander.” he said, not honestly sure where to start. Hanji took her own step forward and rested her hands on her hips, her glasses glaring in the sunlight from the setting sun, “You followed me here?” she inquired as she put her right arm out, not gesturing to anything in particular, but still adding to her words as she continued, “Can’t say I appreciate your manners.” You observed as Oluo’s face visibly cringed, her words cutting him like a knife, her tone being the factor that twisted the blade deeper, “I’m sorry about last time. If not for my mistake, we might have captured it... And it might have helped mankind. If I have to give my life for that, it’s not too high of a pri-”

She quickly closed the distance between them once again, grabbing his collar as she had three days prior. Only this time she had done so to get his attention, not to threaten the poor boy, “No, I am the one who should apologize. I nearly got you killed. I’m sorry.” she paused for a moment while looking down, “But never say that your life is cheap again. Understand?” Hanji looked up at him, and saw that he was choking once more, with his tongue held in place with his teeth, “Gah! Are you ok?” she exclaimed as she let him go and he fell back on his behind once more.

“Oluo! What in the world are you doing?” Petra said as she tried to convince him to stand up, coming closer to the boy. Oluo shook his head and stood up, stumbling ever so slightly as he did so before he put his bag back on his shoulders, “I’m fine section commander.” he said as you could see him rub his cheek with his tongue, trying to soothe the aching pain that pounded in his mouth.

It wasn’t much longer that the five of you all started to make your way out of the alleyway, planning on dropping your sacks off where they belonged and then heading to your rooms for the night. Levi kept his head straight as he looked where he was walking, “By the way, Erwin has come to a decision.” he said from in front of you, Petra and Oluo at your sides. Hanji, who was right next to Levi, replied with focused eyes on the ground, a rather contemplative façade decorating her face, “I see.”

It took her almost no time at all to jump for joy, becoming ecstatic with the news she had just been given. It was clear that she understood his words; Levi’s squad was going to help her get a titan. Hanji shouted, “Yahoo!” as she landed on the ground, doing a spin and other moves to express how excited and happy she was.

Smiling as you watched her do something akin to a happy dance, you noticed Oluo looking at her dumbfounded, his jaw slightly slack as he watched her as well, ‘ _I guess he didn’t realize just how happy she would be._ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 20 May, 2020 :P


	3. The First of Many

**Monday, May 31, 847 at 14:16**

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**

The sun beat down its hot rays on your face. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and as Corporal Levi had said before, “ _It’s a great day for some hand to hand combat training._ ” It didn’t mean that you necessarily liked it, but you supposed that as a soldier in general, let alone one in the Special Operations Squad, you had to do things from time to time that you didn’t really want to.

You glanced to your left, and saw the corporal himself training with Gunther, ‘ _He’s arguably one of the best at hand to hand combat, so it makes sense that he’s training with Levi._ ’ Not too far to your other side was Petra and Oluo, who were currently blocking each other’s hits. You tried to keep in a giggle as Petra landed a rather hard hit on the sandy-haired teen, him falling backwards and stumbling a little. ‘ _It’s always funny when Petra dominates him,_ ’ you thought, ‘ _Not only because she is always so kind and sweet, but also because it knocks him off his high horse a little._ ’ It was as if karma had personally heard your thoughts though, because it wasn’t much longer after you had thought that, that your own training partner, Eld, punched you in the gut, causing you to wheeze a little.

Your eyes connected with his golden ones as you momentarily doubled over, and you brought yourself back down to reality. Quickly hopping back a little, you wasted no time recovering and instead going into a defensive position as he attempted to hit at your other side. He missed his hit as he under swung his fist, and you analysed his face, trying to see if he would unintentionally hint at what his next move would be. Seeing that he was rather stone-faced however, you quickly went to his body posture, hoping there was something there instead.

You were better at offence, so whenever you saw the opportunity to practice defence, you took it, wanting to better yourself for a possible encounter in the future where you would need it. He stood with his legs parted, his right foot in front of his left, and his fists held before his face, ready to attack or block at a moment's notice. You yourself were in a similar position, the only difference between both of your positions being the height he had over you. He was waiting for your next attack, and you didn’t hesitate to take the window of opportunity he provided. Taking a step forward, you feigned a hit with your right hand that was balled into a fist, throwing your left one in the direction he went in to avoid your first hit and feeling it collide with the shoulder of his jacket. This time he was the one to take a step back, trying to gain some space in between the both of you. You only shortened the distance though, pressuring him to take a jab of his own at you.

His blonde hair, that was in a looser bun due to practicing, swished around his head as he fell into the pressure, attempting to hit you again. You dodged it almost perfectly, as you leaned to the side, feeling air blast past your face while you went to attack him, his entire right side left defenceless. Well, you _would have_ attacked him if it weren’t for the fact that when you turned to do so, he swiftly brought his left leg to your back, effectively ending up with him standing and you with your face in the dirt.

You heard him chuckle a little, laughing as you let out a groan of discontent, “Mmmm, mm mmmmm mm mmm mmmmmmmm” you said in retaliation. His eyebrows rose in partial confusion at your words, clearly not being able to understand what you were trying to say, “Huh? What was that?” he teased. Sitting yourself up on the ground, you spit out some dirt that managed to find its way into your mouth, “I said, geez, you didn’t have to go all out on me.” You glared your eyes at him playfully as you heard him reply, “One of these days you’re gonna be grateful for this, I’m sure of it.” he snickered. Rubbing your cheek, you rolled your eyes with sarcasm dripping heavily in your next words, “ _Yeah, ok_ ”

He offered his warm hand to you, and you took it, the two of you working together to get yourself standing back up, “Sarcastic much?” he asked as you both laughed this time. The two of you were close, being good friends. It wasn’t uncommon for Gunther to join along with you two, the three of you looking like you have known each other your whole lives when in reality, you had only joined the pair of them not even two years ago. You had even started calling them your ‘besties’ in front of others, much to their dismay. Not because they disliked the idea of you calling them your best friends, they just found it a little embarrassing -which may or may not have caused you to start using it more, but that was besides the point.

“Me? _Sarcastic?_ I would never!”

“Mhmm, _yeah, ok._ ” he said as he turned your own words against you.

“Honest! I’m not even sure what a sarcastic is!!” you remarked, making sure to use the word wrong to add an extra punch to your words. You heard him snort as he shook his head, and your smile grew bigger. “Only you, (Y/N), only you.”

Your playful banter was soon interrupted though, as fast footfalls were heard connecting with the ground. Hanji was sprinting her way over to Levi, who would soon have found himself against two opponents if Gunther didn’t stop his onslaught of hits at her voice. “Levi!! LEVI!!!” she shouted, skidding her feet to a stop as she almost crashed into him. Oluo and Petra stopped their own attacks as they listened to what Hanji was about to say, curious as to what was going on, “Can I please please please borrow (Y/N) for a little bit?” she asked, looking at him with hopeful eyes. You on the other hand felt confused.

You locked eyes with Gunther who sent a quizzical look your way from his position next to the two. Shrugging your shoulders at him, you silently communicated to him you had no clue what was going on. You could feel Eld’s eyes watch your wordless exchange and pick up on your cluelessness.

“What? No.”

“But Levi!! Why not?”

“Because she’s training right now shitty glasses, get one of your own brats to do whatever weird task you have planned.”

“But I _can’t_ ,” she whined as she stretched out the word ‘can’t’, “I need _(Y/N)_ in particular!” You could see Levi stop for a second, probably trying to fathom a reason as to why she would need you, ‘ _I mean, I’m not exactly the worst soldier around, but I’m not exactly the best there is either._ ’

Levi casted a glance to Hanji, his usual stern face present, “How long is a little?”

“I promise I’ll have her back by dinner time!”

His face scrunched up a little, clearly not liking the idea of you missing out on training for that long. There was a pause as Hanji eagerly awaited his answer, “Fine.”

Hanji jumped up and yelled a quick, “Thanks!” as she soon barreled herself towards you. You couldn’t help the way you instinctively took a step closer to Eld -trying to gain some form of protection from the crazy girl heading for you. It didn’t help you in the end, as Hanji grabbed your hand and started to pull you back to HQ. You could hear Levi shout in the background, along with Gunther and Eld trying to hold back their snickers as you gave them a look that shouted ‘ _help me_ ’, “You better have her back here by then, four-eyes!”

Hanji just lifted her free hand in a wave as she ran further away, making it out of the training grounds with you not too far behind. Still not exactly sure what was going on here, you tried asking what she needed you for as you were dragged off, “S-Section commander? Where are w-we going?” you stuttered, not used to running and talking in a more quiet voice like this, finding it rather difficult. She let go of your hand, seeing that you were going to keep following her, “I’ll tell you when we get there!” Only one thought passed your mind, ‘ _How does her voice not get tired from all that yelling and shouting?_ ’

It didn’t take long for the pair of you to make it to where she was leading you. When you got there, you couldn’t say that your confusion was erased.

You stared at the beast she led you to in a slight, tensed horror. In front of you was the titan that you and your squad had captured only days prior: it was laying down on its stomach, with multiple collars around its neck to hold it in place, each collar having a straight part to it that held the titan down at an angle. Not to mention the multiple metallic nails that were sticking out of its body in a rather painful-looking fashion. The contraption holding it down groaned as it tried to move, and you could feel uneasiness settle in the pit of your stomach, ‘ _It can’t get free, right?_ ’ It’s sunken in amber eyes stared you down, watching every movement you made, clearly wishing that you would forget it was there and come closer to it. Hanji noticed you uneasily eyeing the titan, and she gestured her hands to it, “(Y/N), Leslie.” then she turned to the titan who was still watching you, “Leslie, (Y/N).”

At first you didn’t believe that she just formally introduced you to a titan, needing to blink once or twice before you came to the conclusion that _yes_ , she did just do so. She looked at you expectantly, and you partially sweatdropped, ‘ _What in the world does she want me to do??_ ’ Not really sure this was what she was expecting of you, you hesitantly raised a hand and waved at the titan, watching her face for her reaction. Seeing a pleased smile form on her face, you internally felt relief wash over you, ‘ _Thank the Walls_.’ Hanji met her eyes with yours, as she walked a little closer to the titan with brown hair in a slight bowl cut, “Today,” she took a dramatic pause, “We are going to find out if titan hair disappears, and if it regrows or not!” You felt your breath hitch in your throat, ‘ _Wait, we’re actually going to test on something that I had asked?!_ ’

Seeing your surprise, she smiled, “C’mon, titan girl. I thought you wanted to know the answer to this.” You couldn’t help yourself as you started to grin. It was true that you were still scared of the titans, yes. In fact, your fear probably borderlined a phobia at times, like most people’s. But you couldn’t deny the curiosity that burned inside you every time as a question about the titans passed through your mind.

You walked over to where she was, seeing that she manoeuvred herself behind Leslie’s head, “Moblit!” she cried, trying to get his attention, “Do you have that knife I gave to you before?” Moblit snapped his head up from the clipboard he was holding, pausing taking notes as he fished his hand into his pocket and pulled out a hunting knife, “Right here, section commander.” He cautiously made his way over, keeping an eye on the titan that he was getting closer to. Hanji took the knife out of his hand and thanked him, Moblit himself backing out of the way, always making sure to stay out of the way of the titan’s mouth. It was only then that you noticed all of the other soldiers there, making sure that the titan, Leslie, didn’t go anywhere or try anything funny. As you glanced at the faces, you recognised a few as part of Hanji’s Squad, and you figured it only made sense.

“Would you like to do the honours, or should I?”

You could see the excitement in her eyes, and figuring that it was kind of her to invite you along to even see what the answer was, you decided that you would allow her to test it out. “It's all yours, section commander.” She didn’t waste any time as she brought the knife closer to the dark muddy hair, grabbing a part of it in one hand and wielding the knife in the other. Hanji’s eyes got wide with anticipation, and that infamous insane look that she gained when talking about titans creeping its way onto her face. Cutting the hair, she almost instantaneously yelped and let go of the hair, dropping the knife in surprise as well. You looked on in awe at the steam that came from not only the hair that had been cut off, but also on the area where the hair was just cut that was still attached to the titan. “Section commander! Please, be more careful!” Moblit pleaded as he got closer. You could already see the grey hairs forming for the poor man, ‘ _I guess working with Hanji every day will do that to you_ ’

She ignored him as she tried to pick up the severed hair again, wanting to see just how hot it actually was. You yourself wanted to feel how hot it was, so you couldn’t really blame Hanji for trying to pick it up again.

Your attention was suddenly grabbed, just like Hanji’s was, when out of the corner of your eye you saw wisps of rainbows form out of the air. They stemmed themselves from the end of each strand, growing out to seemingly the same length as the strand that had preceded it. Despite the fascinating site, it was nothing new -yet it still managed to catch your breath for a second. It was well known to everyone in the Military, especially your branch of the Survey Corps, that these thread-like strings of rainbows would form when a titan was regenerating a part of their body. No matter how many times humanity tried to find a reason as to why or how they were able to regenerate with these rainbow strands, they always came up empty-handed.

“So they do grow back, fascinating!” Hanji shrieked in excitement.

You gave her a sideways smile, finding the way she was reacting a little funny, “I guess it does,” you hummed, “I’m not quite sure why, but I kinda thought that it wouldn’t have grown back.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, I mean, I guess I just thought that because it’s not like the titans actually need their hair to function properly. At least, I don’t think so. So there wouldn’t really be a purpose for them to grow their hair back…”

Hanji looked at you, before looking back at the hair that had just grown back, “No, you’re right.. titans don’t use their hair for anything. It really doesn’t make sense that they would grow it back, unless,” She stopped and stared at the ground, trying to put the puzzle pieces together to make sense of this, “Unless they can’t control it.”

“Huh?” you inquired.

“Unless they can’t control the regeneration of their body parts.” she said again. You mulled over her words in your thoughts for a second, “Like how blood runs through your veins from your beating heart, or how your lungs still breath air even if you’re sleeping?”

“Exactly!” Hanji said. “If titans are unable to control how they regenerate their body, then it would make sense as to why their hair would grow back. When things like arms or legs, or even their heads, for example, need to regenerate, they serve a purpose; to grab prey, to get around, to see and consume. But when their hair gets cut, what purpose does it serve?”

She gave you a moment to respond, looking at you for what you thought, “I suppose it can’t be to retain heat, right section commander?”

“Correct! Otherwise, they’d have hair all over their bodies, not just on their head! It wouldn’t make sense for it to have mating purposes either, because they don’t show the characteristics that other animals do when looking for a mate, like grooming themselves. If they cared about their appearance, then they’d probably attempt to style their hair, or maybe even…” she started to ramble on about how titans don’t style their hair, when Leslie started to move its head a little, causing you to stop listening. Leslie suddenly threw his head back, causing Hanji to quickly jump out of the way, pulling you to the side. ‘ _Thank God she has great reaction time,_ ’ you thought as you regained your balance, ‘ _Although it’s probably from all the titans she has gotten close to due to her curiosity._ ’

You could hear Moblit in the background freaking out, complaining that Hanji was always so reckless, and that one of these days these experiments would be the death of her. ‘ _Poor Moblit..._ ’ you couldn’t help feeling pitiful for the man who was always there for Hanji, after all, it seemed like a very stressful job to be watching over the titan enthusiast with how she was always putting her life on the line.

“You ok there?” Hanji asked.

“Yeah, I’m ok section commander.” You stopped for a second before you returned the question to her, “What about you?”

She gave you a look, “Yeah, I’m fine,” she stopped for a second, becoming slightly sombre before going on, “I uh, I understand if you don’t want to help me with this anymore. You don’t have to endanger your own safety, you can go back.” she tried giving you a cheery smile, but you could tell that she was a little disheartened at having to go back to testing all by herself on titans. ‘ _I mean, yeah there are the other soldiers around, but, they don’t really seem to see things the same way she does. Not to say that I do, but I at least see where she is coming from._ ’ You looked at her while she looked down at the titans head who had just moved back, making up your decision.

“Section commander?” you asked and she raised her head, “Could I possibly borrow the knife?” She gave you a thrilled and understanding smile, immediately knowing what you wanted to do, quickly picking it up for you and handing it over, “Be careful (Y/N)! It gets hot rather quickly.” You took in mind what she said, and continued to grab the hair as she had. You noticed that it was rather cool, but rough, as the titan had multiple split ends -feeling not too far off from a course rope in the big bunch of threads gripped between your fingers. Bringing the blade down to the hair, you felt the strands become swelteringly hot, cutting rather easily with the extra sharp edge.

Letting out a gasp of surprise, you quickly let go of the hair just like she did, only you managed to keep your hold onto the knife. Hanji giggled a little as you did this, and took the dagger back when you shoved the handle part in her direction. You rubbed your hands together, trying to soothe the slight burn on one of them with a smile on your face, ‘ _This is gonna be fun._ ’

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Hanji took the last measurement of the attached hair that you needed, as Moblit, who was standing right next to the woman, noted down what she said, “It has a diameter of about a…fourth of a centimetre.” You peeked into his journal, trying to discreetly lean over and watch what he was writing, when you suddenly noticed him hold out the notebook more as he wrote. Looking at him, you wondered what he was doing until you saw a smile on his face and quickly realized that he had caught you trying to read it.

You felt your cheeks warm up out of embarrassment, “Sorry,” you mumbled. He chuckled, “It’s ok, here,” he reassured as he handed you the journal once he was done writing everything down. Hanji watched the exchange and smiled, “Well, I’m glad you guys are getting along.” You couldn’t help but already feel comfortable in the presence of the two, and you felt a grin creep up on your face as you nodded and read the journal:

_Titan: Leslie_

_Pure or Abnormal: Pure_

_Hair Colour: Dark Brown_

_Average Hair Length: 104.052 centimeters (From 101.60, 96.52, 78.95, 132.06 and 111.13)_

_Average Hair Diameter: .238 centimeters (From .29, .36, .15, .18 and .21)_

_Average Regeneration Time: 101.8 seconds (From 60, 13, 180, 45 and 210)_

_Notes: The measurements for the average hair length and the average hair diameter are from_ _the same strands. 101.60 was from the same strand as .29 for example._

You couldn’t help but feel like the average regeneration time wasn’t accurate. After all, no matter if the titan was pure or not, the regeneration time still varies. You could cut the arm off of a titan and have it come back after a few minutes, and then cut the same arm off the same titan and it could take seconds. Figuring that Hanji probably just wanted to have the average down somewhere -or perhaps having other reasons- you didn’t say anything, ‘ _Extra data never hurt anyways_.’

You saw Hanji put the measuring tape in her pocket, the off white ribbon -that was dirty from use- slipping in with ease. She then reached her hand out for the journal in your hands, silently asking if she could see it. Handing it over, she said “Thanks. Y’know, I had never really thought about gaining information on titan hair, but you never know.” she flipped through all of the pages before closing it and looking at you, “Anything we learn about titans could be a possible step forward to beating them, no matter how small or insignificant it might seem.”

Moblit joined in, “I agree that collecting information is important, but section commander, you have to be more careful… That titan could’ve actually hurt you guys before.” Hanji only shook her hand at his concern, “Yeah, yeah, we’ll be careful,” she said, roping you into her statement. You meekly joined in, “ᴬˡˢᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᶦᵗᵃⁿˢ ⁿᵃᵐᵉ ᶦˢ ᴸᵉˢˡᶦᵉ.”

Hanji started to laugh -having heard what you had said- but Moblit tilted his head sideways a little, as he had missed what you said, “Huh?” Hanji didn’t waste any time clarifying for him while still laughing her head off, having not expected you to say something like that, “She said that,” she gasped for air between her laughs and regained her composure, wiping a faux tear from her eye, “That the titan’s name is Leslie.” Moblit’s face went blank and he facepalmed, shaking his head, “I swear to the Walls, I don’t know if I can deal with two Hanjis...” You yourself giggled a little. Looking up at the sky with a smile, you saw it was already a good deal into the day, about 17:00 maybe. There were some clouds rolling by, the white cotton balls softly drifting across the light blue span you called the sky. Hanji followed your gaze, looking at the sky with her features rather pensive, “I suppose it’s time you head back now, (Y/N). It looks like it’s almost dinner time.”

You glanced your eyes over to her, your head still tilted up at the sky, “Thank you section commander.” you said as you brought your head down and started your way over to the exit, “This was fun, I enjoyed it.” She grinned at you, “No problem, I was glad to have someone to test on them with, even if it was only something like cutting their hair.” You waved a goodbye to the both of them as you went through the opening, taking a left and heading over to where your own squad was. Before you could get out of hearing range though, you heard Moblit say, “It looks like you’ve finally found someone who is as crazy about titans as you.”

You let a smile grace your face as Hanji laughed and agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 27 May, 2020!


	4. Evaporating Liquids

**Wednesday, June 2, 847 at 14:41**

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**

“So I had started to ride my horse close to the dumb beast, but as I got closer, I heard more thuds behind me! With the rest of my squad nowhere near me, I knew I would have to fight them by myself. Most people would’ve started to panic, but I stayed completely calm, cool and collected.”

You plopped your butt on the table’s bench in the nearly empty mess hall, sitting yourself next to a very bored looking Gunther on your left, and Eld in a very similar state to your right. In front of you was Petra, who had Oluo to her right and Corporal Levi to her left. Even though it was a bit later than when you would normally eat, you and your squad were having a late lunch. You guys had been training all day, and seeing as it got tiring -and it ran overtime- Levi had allowed a late lunch, ‘ _What would that be, a linner? No, that doesn’t sound right...Dunch?_ ’ Despite knowing you would ruin your appetite for later, your stomach was growling and twisted in a rather uncomfortable fashion. You glanced down at your tray that you had placed down not too long ago, taking your spoon and shoving some mashed potatoes in your mouth. Listening to the bickering between Oluo and Petra, you couldn’t help but think, ‘ _They really do look like an old married couple_.’

“...that’s how I was able to kill both fifteen-meter titans with only one good blade left in an open field.” Oluo had a smug look on his face, his eyes closed and arms crossed, head held high as he finished his sentence.

“Oluo, you do realize I was there for that, right? I saw the whole thing.” Petra said as she rolled her eyes, clearly knowing that his story was false, “I’m almost certain that both titans were under seven meters, and I cut the ankles of both of them so you could kill them.”

Oluo opened his left eye the tiniest bit, still holding his head up as his smile flat-lined, “That was a different time, I’m talking about something else.”

“But there has never been a time when we have been outside of the walls apart, we’re right next to each other in formation!” she countered, turning to him with a hand on her right hip.

“Hey, remember that time you guys both pissed your pants on your first expedition?” You had trouble not spitting out your food, trying to keep in your surprised laughter with one hand when Gunther said that. Horror casted itself on both of their faces as Eld joined in with you, looking over you and at Gunther while nodding.

“H-Hey! I thought you promised not to tell her!!” Oluo shouted as his face reddened a little, matching Petra’s own as she joined in, “Yeah, y-you swore!” You could hear the bellows of laughter coming from the two males at your sides, and you laughed just as loud as they did once you swallowed your mashed potatoes, “T-The Walls! You guys,” you exclaimed, taking a gasp for air, “You guys really did that?!”

The replies you received remarkably varied, “I didn’t though, it was only Petra!” “They sure did, on the way back too!” “What do you mean it was only me?! Don’t pin this on me!” “It sprayed everywhere!”

Your laughter doubled as you heard the last comment, “Man, is there anything else you guys are holding back on me?” you asked with a beaming smile. Eld and Gunther shared a look that you didn’t miss, wicked smiles forming on their faces, with their baby blue and golden eyes meeting, “Well, there was that one ti-”

“Woah, woah, woah! You can’t just spill all of our secrets right away!” Oluo protested, before quickly realizing that he just admitted to the previous accusation, “Not to say that I actually did it” he quickly added. Petra’s eyes lit up as she suddenly got an idea, “Corporal! Please tell (Y/N) the truth! It’s the only way she’ll believe us!”

Everyone at the table flashed their eyes at Levi, who held his steaming cup of tea by the brim of his cup, something he did every time he drank from a glass. “Fine.” He started, and everyone waited eagerly to hear what his answer would be, “They pissed their pants.”

The sandy blonde and redhead immediately blanched, mouths open and looking at the corporal in utter terror and disbelief as a hint of a sly smirk could be found on Levi’s face if one looked close enough. You on the other hand, along with Gunther and Eld, only laughed more, now having the corporal’s words on your side. “Corporal!” Petra whined, and Oluo joined in after her, “Why’d you say that?!”

Levi looked like he was going to reply for a second, until his eyes focused on the mess hall doors and he glared a little. Whipping your head around, you heard the doors themselves slam open, Hanji being the driving force that caused them to do so. “LEVI!” she shouted as Moblit swiftly entered behind her, jogging over to catch up to the brunette who had made her way over to the corporal in record time. You thought you saw a vein on Levi’s head as he replied in his usual monotone voice, clearly annoyed by the disturbance, “What do you want now, four eyes?”

“Can I take her again?!” she said as she gestured to you with both hands, almost hitting Eld in the face. Levi didn’t lighten up his glare, “Why should I let you take her again?”

“So then we can test on Leslie!” she shouted. The room suddenly got quiet.

“You named the fucking titan?”

“But of course! It’s only appropriate, we have to make him feel at home.”

“You do realize how stupid you sound right now, right?”

“Oh calm down grumpy pants! Just please let me borrow (Y/N) again?”

Levi sighed. His stormy grey eyes caught yours, and while you tried to remain as neutral faced as possible to not seem out of place or influence his decision that much, you were sure that it was still easily readable that you wanted to go. “Just go already.”

You felt your eyes light up, and you couldn’t help the way you perked up in your seat at the news. You couldn’t tell if his words were directed at you or Hanji, but his words had the same meaning; you could go. Hanji quickly started to go to the mess hall doors, already starting to leave for the testing, letting out a “Woohoo!” as she went. Moblit was waiting hesitantly near the door for you, debating in his mind if he should wait for you or watch over Hanji. Not wasting any time, you stood up before shoving your tray towards Gunther, “Here, you can either have the rest, or you can throw it out. This is part of that favour you owe me!” Without giving him a chance to respond, you ran over to Moblit, “Thanks bestie!” you shouted as you threw a glance back at your table, running out the door.

“W-Wait! I don’t owe you a favour!”

Eld just laughed at him, “I guess she does have a favourite, _bestie._ ” He made sure to use the term you always called them to tease him even further.

“Whatever man.” the dark brown haired teen said as he shook his head, picking up his spoon and putting it in your partially eaten mashed potatoes before grumpily stuffing it in his mouth.

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When you and Moblit finally made your way there, you both looked around for the careless section commander. To both of your surprises, she wasn’t doing something over the top and dangerous. In fact, she wasn’t even there. “Uh oh...” you heard Moblit shakily say, “This can’t be good.” And although his anxiousness was justified, it was soon proved worthless as Hanji herself soon entered the same way you and Moblit just had. Only she was now holding a whole bunch of test tubes with lids in her hands. Some of them were empty, but as far as you could see, three of them had some sort of liquid in them, “Took you guys long enough!” She made her way over to you and handed you the test tubes, almost dropping them as she did so, “So! Today, we are gonna see if we can capture titan blood, like you had asked!”

You looked at her with stars for eyes, “Really?” She nodded her head with a smile, and started to explain the process, “First I’m gonna make a cut into Leslie’s arm, ok?” she said as she gestured to its left arm. You had only noticed just now that more nails were sticking out of the flesh than usual, seemingly pinning down the monster’s arm even more than it was before, “Then, I’m gonna ask you to give me one of those empty vials. From there, I’m going to put titan blood in the vial, and ask you to pour in one of the liquids from those vials, and then we’ll see what happens. Sounds like a plan?”

You nodded your head as you looked down at the vials you were holding, “Just one question, Section Commander Hanji.”

“Go on.” she acknowledged your question as she walked over the arm, you following closely behind with a paranoid Moblit watching every single move the titan made. ‘ _Well, more like every move the titan is_ trying _to make_.’

“What exactly is in these test tubes?” You lifted one of them up to the sun, trying to get a better look at the liquid inside.

She briefly looked at the one you were currently holding up, “The one you’re looking at right now is canola oil. I think it’ll be unlikely for titan blood to mix well with it, as most types of blood from animals are water-based, and like you probably know, water and oil don’t tend to mix well together. That clear looking one that looks like water, is uh, well it _is_ water. Y’know, if it doesn’t mix with oil, it should in theory mix with water.” She dug in her pocket for a second, seemingly searching for something when Moblit wordlessly reached his hand to her from your side, handing her the same knife you had used to test the titan’s hair. “Ah, yes, thank you Moblit.”

She carried on looking for a good spot to make the incision, wanting everything to go right so she took her time scanning her eyes over the flesh, “Section commander? What about the third one?” Hanji lifted her eyes from her current task and looked at the third vial in your arm for a second before flashing them back, taking her hand that wasn’t holding the dagger and scratching the back of her neck, “Oh, _that_.” she nervously giggled, “Well, you see, one day I was messing around with different chemicals and such, and as I was doing so I managed to make that concoction. Unfortunately, I don’t remember exactly how I made it, and my supply of it is limited, but the amount I had made at the time was quite a lot, so I figure that it’ll be ok for a bit. Anyways, it’s a liquid that seems to mix with oil and water and has a high-temperature resistance, making it actually more ideal for forming bonds and mixing with other things than water.”

You looked at her, slightly astonished, ‘ _Damn. I actually don’t have anything to say in response…_ ’

Hanji looked at you, “Ready to go?” You hummed a yes, and stood at her side as she brought the blade closer to Leslie’s arm, “Get ready to hand me an empty vial, and then the water ok? We’ll use the oil next, and the concoction last as my supply is irreplaceable.” Not responding verbally, you took out an empty vial and prepared yourself to give it to her, when Moblit quickly jumped in, “Please be careful, we don’t know how hot the blood is going to be and you really shouldn’t get any more burns on your hand section commander.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hanji said as she brought the knife and her face even closer, watching from the side how close the blade was to the limb, “Everything will be _juuuuuust_ fine.” She brought the edge down on the arm and made a cut that wasn’t too deep, but deep enough to ensure a steady flow of blood. You put an empty test tube in her hand when she gestured it outwards, then taking the water-filled one and taking the lid off of it. Dipping the vial into the pool of rich crimson colour, she filled it up a good amount before holding it closer to you. You didn’t hesitate as you brought the water-filled vial over to the blood-filled one that was already steaming a little, who hopefully wouldn’t disappear after you poured in the water.

The liquid fell in, but not for long. As soon as the water hit the blood, it evaporated, making a steam -that was once water- rise out of the tube. “Keep pouring.” Hanji instructed as she saw you falter when it steamed, the steam missing your hand as you held the vial near its base. Doing as she said, you poured the content in until the end, finding that not a single drop of water remained in your vial or hers. You watched carefully as not long after the water stopped pouring in, the blood seemed to dissipate into the same smoke that the water had. You took note that the cut she had made into the skin seemed to heal at the same time that the blood had disappeared as you heard Moblit’s pencil brushing against a notebook.

“Shoot,” she said, before putting the empty and dry tube on the ground next to the both of you, screwing the cap from the water vial that was now empty as well to make sure that anything that might be in there will stay in there, before smiling, “Ready for round two?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” you grinned back, putting the lidless water vial on the ground next to hers and recalling that she wanted the oil next, you grasped it in your fingers. She took another tube from you -as she wanted to use a new tube each time in case something was left behind from the liquids mixing- once again making a mark onto the skin as you took the lid for the next tube off. Obtaining more blood, she once again held out the vial for you as you poured in the oil. This time, instead of evaporating, the oil seemed to bubble on the surface of the liquid, making a hot popping sound as if you had put it on a cooking pan. You flinched slightly back as it popped on your hands when pouring -the searing hot pain annoying you greatly- but you forced yourself to hold your hands as steady as possible to make this go as smoothly as you could. Once all of the liquid was now in Hanji’s vial, you found yourself staring in awe as you noticed that the blood didn’t evaporate.

At first, anyways. It did take longer for the blood to turn into steam, but in the end it still did within twenty seconds. Looking at the no longer existent laceration on Leslie’s arm, you concluded that the blood evaporating at the same time that the cut healed the first time was purely coincidental, no matter how much you felt that it should have been otherwise at first. Just like before, Hanji capped her vial and the both of you placed them on the ground, making the once pile of two a pile of four. Hanji shot you a look and you shot her an understanding one back as you handed her a barren vial, ‘ _Let’s go on to the last one._ ’

You readied the last one as what you expected to be the last attempt started, Hanji making a laceration on Leslie with her dagger. When you emptied this vial in however, the strange and mysterious liquid did not evaporate or stay at the top. No, it seemed to be actually mixing in with the liquid, which came to a surprise to you both. You jumped up a little and cheered, and Hanji kept her eyes focused on the test tube, either knowing something that you didn’t or simply being more cautious given the outcomes of the water and oil. “Section commander!” you cheered with a joyful laugh, “We did it, the blood and the liquid is mixed!!” A similar smile grew on her own face, “You’re right! All we have to do now is compare this mixture and an original sample, of which I have back in my lab, and we will be able to figure out what titan blood is like! We can figure out how titan cells work, and we can even conduct this on other titans to see if they have different blood types like huma-…” She drifted off as the blood evaporated, leaving behind the substance that you had poured in, “Oh…”

You couldn’t help but feel disappointment yourself, you had honestly thought that that had been it, that Hanji would be able to decipher what she needed from the blood and take a step in the right direction to finally end this over one hundred year war between the humans and titans.

“Well, I have one last idea on how to possibly keep the titan blood inside the vial.” Hanji said as she tightened the cap on the test tube she had just been holding. You once again placed yours next to hers, “What would that be, section commander?”

“We just gather up the blood in the vial and put the lid on it. _Supposedly_ it should work just like that. I was hoping it wouldn’t come down to this because it would have been easier to test on titan blood while mixed with another substance than this way, but I suppose that an arduous method of experimentation is better than no method.” You only pondered over her words for a second, before coming to the conclusion that she had a point, ‘ _Something is better than nothing, and if this works, this something could turn out to be a very important one_.’

“Got it,” you said, “Here.” Handing her the last vial, you saw Hanji pull a cap out of her pocket, getting ready to do what she was about to. “Section commander, are you going to try and collect a lot of blood, or only a little?” Glancing up at you, she stopped for a moment, “I suppose I’m gonna try and only get a little to start, after all, there’s no point in having all of it in the tube if it ends up evaporating. If it stays, I can always get more later, y’know?” You agreed with her, and glued your eyes on your last hope to capture titan blood for testing purposes. Everything seemed to slow down as she -for the fourth time- pressed the hunting knife into its flesh, a slight steam rising from the cut and blood pooling into the deep crevice just formed. She dipped the vial into the blood like she previously did, and the red liquid sloshed back into the tube as she turned it upright. Hanji wasted no time, quickly jamming her hand and the vial’s cap onto the top of it, trying to keep all of the steam and blood in there.

Your eyes lit up as it seemed to work, but you kept your hopes low as you weren’t sure if another repeat of what had happened last time was going to occur. Steam fogged up the vial, and it became hard to see what was going on in there. After a while though, it was made clear that the both of you were unable to obtain a sample for testing, as the steam seemed to start fading away, leaving no trace of liquid or any other substance behind. You sadly chuckled to the chocolate haired woman beside you, who seemed to wear a crestfallen expression that matched yours, “You don’t happen to have another trick up your sleeve, do you, section commander?”

A slight smile adorned her lips and she gave a small shake of her head, “Unfortunately no, (Y/N). That was all I’ve got.”

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The three of you were going over Moblit’s notes, trying to find out anything from them that you might have missed during the actual experiment, “I’m gonna have to see if perhaps some sort of gas formed in the vial that just had the blood, after all, we didn’t see it come out, so hopefully, there is at least something like that in there” You felt hope pool in your chest, and you couldn’t help your optimistic way of thinking. “Maybe there is some form of substance left behind in the other vials too, perhaps it could be a gas, but there could also be a minuscule kind of substance or something akin to it lingering around.” Moblit said as he fixed his eyes on the vial that had held the water in it, quickly flickering his eyes to the oil one.

“And maybe a bond did in fact form with the concoction, and there was just so little formed that it seemed like nothing had happened.” you chimed in as you jostled the vial containing said liquid in your left hand, watching how it danced about in its container with a thoughtful face.

Hanji grinned and chuckled, seeing that maybe the first part of the experiment was over, but she still had tests to perform based off of the results of this one, “I suppose I’ll have to test those kinds of things out later, after all, if any of them are true it could be a big breakthrough for humanity.” She was laying on the ground, facing the sky and staring out -quite literally- into space. You guys had been trying to come up with ways that some remains of the blood might have been left behind for about the past two hours, and you found that you became more and more hopeful as each suggestion passed someone’s lips, whether they were your own or from Moblit or Hanji.

“I think you should start heading back though, (Y/N)” Hanji said, her usual excitement gone from her voice. You supposed that that was either from how the events of today played out regarding the experiment -or them in general- being a taxing factor on her mind and body. “Moblit, could you please walk her back to her squad? They should be in the mess hall right now.”

“Of course, section commander.” Moblit said as he brought himself to stand up. You found yourself taking his hand when he offered it to you, your softer hand meeting his more calloused one. For the second time that day, you and Moblit left together, heading towards the archway that would lead you to your destination. Before you passed through it though, you halted yourself for a second, “Thank you Section Commander Hanji.” You could hear her slightly chuckle, her voice deeper than her usual higher-pitched-excitement filled one, “Anytime, (L/N).”

You walked through the archway smiling, surprised that she knew your last name, ‘ _I guess it’s not anything special though, after all, it should be more surprising that she knows my first name, even if I’m only ever called by it_.’

The walk back with Moblit was the tiniest bit awkward, as you had never really been with the man casually, only ever being with Hanji and him, or in an excited/panicked rush to get to the section commander. “It must be stressful, huh?” You tried to start a conversation with the caramel-haired soldier, who only let out a confused, “What do you mean?”

“Y’know, with Hanji and everything. You must always be watching her to make sure she never gets into too much trouble and such.”

“Oh,” he said as he realized, “Yeah, it does get a little stressful at times.”

You gave him a sceptical look, recalling all of the times that he had cautioned you and Hanji in the short amount of time you had spent with him. He playfully raised his hands in a fake surrender as you entered the HQ, not that much further being the mess hall where you two were heading, “Ok, ok,” he joked with a tiny grin, “It might be more stressful than just a little.”

You found yourself rather content with the way he was opening up with you and becoming more relaxed in your presence, “That’s more like it.” you giggled back. “I wouldn’t trade it for anything though, it’s an interesting job to say in the least, and I’m able to spend time with probably the best friend I have.” A peaceful moment of silence passed between you two as you both neared the doors.

Finally getting there, you waited outside of the mess hall, turning to Moblit and giving him a thanks, ‘ _Even if he was kinda forced to do it, the thought of it is nice._ ’

“Of course (Y/N), anytime.”

He started to walk off as you grabbed the handle of the mess hall door, but you stopped him before he could get too far, “Have a good night, Moblit.”

He wore a smile and wished you the same, “Have a good night, (Y/N).”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 3 June, 2020!


	5. A Rainy Day

**Sunday, June 6th, 847 at 16:27**

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Water rolled down the windowpane, the soft pitter-patter of the drops hitting the glass soothing you almost into a slumber -even if you were still in uniform. To say that it was absolutely pouring outside would be a very clear and obvious lie, but to say that the drizzle that fell from the sky wasn’t going at a steady and continuous pace would be an even bigger one. In fact, from your position curled up next to the window, you could feel the coolness radiating from outside onto your skin, giving you a slight chill every now and then.

Corporal Levi had cancelled whatever kind of training you had for the day, ‘ _What did he say it was going to be again, endurance training?_ ’ Trying to retrace your steps, you recalled that you had gotten to the meetup place rather early, as you had even beaten Petra herself outside of Corporal Levi’s door earlier this morning. It hadn’t been too long after that everyone else had arrived though, all five of you silently waiting outside in the hallway for the corporal to start the day. Then you had all been surprised when Levi walked out with his cup of tea, holding it in his infamously strange way that no one -except occasionally Oluo- held in the same way. Finally it came to you, he said that training for today was to be cancelled as it was supposed to be raining on and off all day, and that it was rather risky to use 3DMG in the rain, ‘ _That’s right,_ ’ you thought, ‘ _It was 3DMG training. Well, more like practice because we’re already trained, but still_.’

As soon as Levi had made his way back into his room, the squad immediately started making plans. Oluo and Petra were going to go and see their families, as they all lived nearby the HQ, and Gunther and Eld were going to have what they called a _Bro Day_. Originally they tried to pull you into their affairs, but you declined, saying that there was this book you’ve had for a while that you really wanted to read.

Your eyes drifted from outside the window while you rested on your comfy chair, looking at said book that laid limply in your hands. You had tried many times before to lose yourself in the book, as you had heard from other people that it was a rather good one. There was only one problem with that though. No matter how many times you tried to live in the fantasy world through the beautifully placed words, you could never find yourself as absorbed as everyone else. You skimmed your eyes over the page;

_The sixteen-year-old girl sighed as she realized to her chagrin that, yes, she was up at three am on a Monday night writing. Again. Luckily for her though, she didn’t have as many responsibilities as she would normally have due to the plague that was going around, “Stupid ass Corona,” the girl muttered, “Why the fuck are you shitting on 2020 so hard?”_

Finding yourself slightly bored by the text already, you realized that this time would be no different -you wouldn’t be able to get any further. ‘ _Damn, and I had gotten further this time too. Like three pages in!_ ’ you inwardly groaned as you picked yourself off of your chair and made your way over to your quaint bookshelf. Well, it belonged to Petra _and_ you anyways. Being mere soldiers you still had to share rooms, but because you were in the Special Operations Squad you had it at least a little bit better than most. Your eyes flickered between the books that sat upright on the shelves, trying to find one that captured your interest more than that last one. ‘ _Or maybe I should join Gunther and Eld…? Nah._ ’ You figured that you would give reading one last shot as you picked up a blue-covered book, one that wasn’t worn down at all. Matter of fact, it looked as if it had been bought recently, as the pages were an untarnished white, without any wrinkles of the sort, ‘ _I guess Petra must’ve picked this one up at some point._ ’

You found yourself once again curling up against the window, using the little natural lighting outside to get started on this one. Well, you _would_ have, if it wasn’t for the fact that your door slammed open -not only giving you a mini heart attack, but also causing a scream to rip out of your throat. Darting your eyes to the source, you couldn’t help the slight sigh of relief that escaped you.

It was only Hanji.

“(Y/N)! C’mon, let’s go!!” She was jumping in place, and was gesturing her arms in such a manner that urged you to to go with her. “Huh?” you asked startled, “Go where?”

Hanji rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh as she gestured her right hand to the glass panes behind you, “Look outside, it’s raining!” There was a slight pause, filled with silence and you glancing at the window before it clicked. “Hanji, are you saying what I think you’re saying?” you inquired with a smile. You knew when she gave you a mischievous grin back, that you were thinking the exact same thing that she was, “Yup! Today is the perfect day to see how the lovelies are doing in the rain!!” Letting out a giggle at what she had called the murderous beasts, you shook your head in slight amusement, ‘ _This is gonna be great._ ’

With that said, you quickly grabbed your forest green scouts hood cape thingy -‘ _What is that even called?_ ’- and threw on your 3DMG before Hanji and you quickly made your way out the door, heading to the edge of Wall Rose.

**Sunday, June 6th, 847 at 16:55**

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**

“Wait a second, section commander?”

“Hm?”

“Where exactly is Moblit?” Both of your boots clicked on top of Wall Rose, passing by various Garrison soldiers occasionally. It was still raining, and it didn’t look like it was going to lighten up any time soon, ‘ _Actually, if anything it looks like it has been raining a little bit harder than it was before_.’ The rain was soaking your Survey Corps cloak -being stained a darker shade of green- but you found it still doing a good job at keeping you relatively dry.

You’ve known Hanji for about a month in total now, and it was safe to say that you were warming up to her. When you had first left your room together to get to Wall Rose, you thought that maybe it would have been a tad bit awkward -but to your relief, it seemed like that was not the case.

Hanji giggled a little under her own hood, seeming partly guilty, “Ah, um… Well, you see, he wouldn’t exactly like the idea of what we're going to do, soImayormaynothavesnuckoutwithouthimknowingandhemightthinkI’mstillinmyoffice!” You blinked your eyes, trying to take in her words. It took you a few seconds, but you finally managed to understand, “So he has no clue that we’re here right now?”

A nod.

“And he thinks you’re in your office?”

Another nod.

You facepalmed, “What’s gonna happen if he comes in looking for you?”

“It’ll be fine,” she drawled, even though it was clear from how she flinched at your suggestion that the idea of it slightly scared her, “He won’t. Besides, I’m his superior!” You shook your head at her, “Section commander, I mean no offence, but I don’t think that’s the smartest decision you’ve ever made.” Putting a hand to her chest, she gasped in fake hurt, “But (Y/N)!” she exclaimed as she gestured her arms out around her and to the wall the both of you were walking on, “This decision was made so then we could test on titans, surely it’s not so!” You had trouble stopping yourself from rolling your eyes, “Ok ok, your decision to sneak out to Wall Rose to hang yourself on the wall over _titans_ in the _rain_ , was a good one.”

“And you’re the one who agreed to it, so what does that say about you?” she countered back. It was true, on your way over, Hanji had told you all about how you were going to go about this; the two of you were going to jump off the wall towards where the titans were once you got to where the Garrison soldiers were more scarce, and latch yourselves on the wall. From there, you and Hanji would observe them and see if the coolness of the atmosphere affected them, while Hanji would take notes in place of Moblit.

“I guess we’re both idiots then.” you joked.

“Yeah, see, we’re both- Wait, no! I’m not!” You giggled as Hanji struggled to say what she wanted to. Stepping over a puddle that had built itself up, you looked at the grey and stormy clouds that hung above the both of you, pouring their stores of water over your heads, “I think this is good enough.” Hanji said, changing the subject once your laughter had subsided a bit. You glanced around yourself, and upon seeing that there weren’t any Garrison soldiers on this part of the wall, you nodded your head in agreement. Your footfalls continued to click with Hanji’s, and you watched water splash around where your foot landed each time until you found yourself at the edge of the wall, with Hanji to your left. Below your feet was a swarm of titans, who were desperately trying to grab at you -trying to satiate their hunger for human flesh. They didn’t seem too different from how they would be in a complete daylight setting, but then again, you couldn't see everything that well fifty meters up. “You ready?” She looked at you with an eager smile. You took a glance at the beasts below you, ‘ _Damn, this is… insane._ ’ Then you suddenly realized what you had forgotten before in your excitement, ‘ _The only reason I was able to come here today was because it was raining out and 3DMG training was cancelled. And in order to do this, we need to use our gear to get down closer. So really I’m just asking for an accident to happen here._ ’ You could almost feel the tapping of the rain of your shoulders through the cloak, and it did little to help soothe you, ‘ _Is this where I die?_ ’ Hanji could easily sense your sudden hesitance, “If you want to stay up here, you can (Y/N). Don’t feel any pressure to join me, I’ll go gather the data and come back up to meet you, ok? This is your free day after all.”

Before you could even say anything else, Hanji had already thrown herself off the wall, plummeting towards the titans until she kicked her gear into action, stopping herself a good five meters above the tallest titan’s reach. She looked up at you -and while you couldn’t see her facial expression you could only assume that she had a grin plastered on her face as she gave you a thumbs up- before she went to do what she came to do. ‘ _This isn’t right… No matter if it’s a free day or not, I’m still a member of the Survey Corps, and that means that sometimes I have to do things that scare me._ ’ The wariness in your eyes morphed into determination as you looked down where the section commander was, ‘ _This isn’t the first time this has happened either, when that six-meter near Ilse was about to charge me, I froze. That’ll get me killed one of these days. The best way to prevent that is to get over my fear!_ ’ You took a few steps back from the wall, mentally preparing yourself for what you were about to do, ‘ _I need to get over this mental block and be a better soldier!!_ ’

Letting out a battle-like cry, you sprinted towards the edge of Wall Rose, feeling your feet hit the ground until-

_Nothing._

You felt yourself bite your tongue as you were free-falling down, the wind whipping harshly against your skin and wind resistance pulling your jacket and hair upwards. Squinting your eyes, you focused your 3DMG hooks where you wanted to land and shot them, the grapples sinking themselves deep enough into the wall to support your weight. The wires pulled you closer to Hanji, and to your satisfaction, you saw that you had managed to manoeuvre yourself there almost perfectly to her right side -although you were a little higher up than she was, your head being about a foot higher than hers. “Welcome to Titan Town, (Y/N)! Population, you, me, and about seven titans.” she waved her left arm out to the horde of man-eating monsters. You couldn’t hold back a tiny laugh as you caught your breath, still recovering from the adrenaline that had flooded through your veins, “Glad to be here, anything noteworthy happen yet?” Knowing that it hadn’t been long, you didn’t really expect anything to have happened since she got here -and you were right, “Nah, just some grabbing. Nothing seems to be different at all, matter of fact.” She reached into her breast pocket and retrieved a notebook to write in and a small pencil to go with it, before you both ran into a problem. How was Hanji supposed to write if it was raining?

Hanji didn’t even get to verbally present her problem, as you had already thought of a solution and grabbed the end of your cloak, holding it over her head and effectively preventing any rain from hitting the somewhat delicate paper. “Thanks,” the umber haired woman said, eyes sparkling with appreciation before she got back to the task, “So far, they haven’t exactly done anything…” she mumbled as you presumed that she was scribbling down that nothing extraordinary happened. Glaring your eyes down at the titans, you noticed that no steam whatsoever was emitting from their flesh, a clear sign that nothing appeared to be happening, “They’re not steaming either, meaning that their skin isn’t hot.” you noted aloud. Hanji nodded her head and jotted it down on the parchment. A silence passed over the both of you, the only noises coming from the rain and the titans themselves, stomping ever so slightly and groaning as they struggled to reach you. A slight fog could be seen in the distance, and you supposed that on a clear day, maybe, just _maybe_ , you would be able to faintly see Wall Maria from where you were.

“So, (Y/N),” Hanji started, her eyes still trained on the seemingly mindless beasts, “How long have you been in the Survey Corps?” You paused for a moment, thrown off guard by her question, but responded nonetheless, “I’ve been in the Survey Corps since 845, only a few days before Wall Maria broke, being part of the 99th Trainee Squad, section commander.” You thought over your next words before deciding to ask them anyways, “What about you, Section Commander Hanji?”

“If I’m going to be honest, I don’t remember anymore. I’ve been in the Survey Corps longer than you though, I know that much.”

You hummed, understanding where she was coming from, “Whatever sparked your interest in titans? Were you always so intrigued, section commander?”

She shook her head, “No, I wasn’t always like this.” she chuckled a little, “One day while on an expedition, I was frustrated by the loss of my comrades. It had been a harsh one, and nearly everyone in my squad had perished in some way. Out of anger, I kicked the head of a three-meter titan I had just killed, hoping to let out some pent up frustration. But instead of it sitting there after I kicked it like I had expected, it easily tumbled away from me. It was as light as a feather.” You could see a dazed look grace her features as she stared out, recalling the event, “It was then that I realized just how ignorant humanity was about titans.” Her voice got a very serious tone towards the end, and you couldn’t blame her, ‘ _After all, she’s not wrong. We’re so ignorant it’s laughable really._ ’

Hanji returned the question to you, as she played with her own reflection on one of her blades, turning it from side to side, “What made you question them?”

“I guess it was that blonde titan about a month ago on that expedition. At first I thought you were -no offence, section commander- but I thought you were absolutely crazy for wanting to take that titan behind the walls.” You could hear Hanji laugh at that, and you found yourself smiling a little, “But after I saw how the titan was behaving, it really made me think, well, kinda the same thing. We know so little about the titans, it’s scary.”

“And from there you thought the best course of action was to break into my room of course.”

“Hey! I said I was sorry!” Hanji only giggled at your response.

You looked down below you and focused your eyes on a bigger pair. A pair that held hunger and longing in them, wanting nothing more than tearing your limbs from your body and ripping you apart. “Where do you think they even came from, section commander?”

“That’s something I find myself often wondering, but no matter how long or hard I think about it, I can never seem to find an answer. They seem to be closely related to humans, so perhaps they’re a relative? Somewhere along the evolutionary line we broke apart, and it was only a hundred years ago that they found humanity?” You mulled over her words in your head, “That seems reasonable,” you agreed, “It’s the best theory we’ve got anyways.”

“I guess we’ll just have to find out where they really came from on our own, huh (Y/N)?”

“I guess we will.”

You noticed Hanji write something down on the paper, your arm still holding part of your cloak above her so she could do so with ease and elbow resting upon the outside of Wall Rose, “They really don’t seem to be any different, do they?” you asked. “Surprisingly, no.” Hanji admitted, “I thought that because of their high body temperature, the coolness of the rain would cause the titans to behave at least a little differently than normal. Y’know, like how a human shivers or gets sick or something. Hypothermia even, in extreme conditions. But the titans here seem to be completely fine, even after being in colder conditions all day.” The titans of various heights below the both of you scratched at the wall, one of the hands reaching up only being a good eightish meters too short. ‘ _Just what would these titans be saying right now if they could speak? I’m assuming that Ilse’s titan was an anomaly and that these other titans can’t speak. What if they can though? What if they’re choosing not too? Are they communicating in their own language with all those grunts and moans they keep making?_ ’ You couldn’t help your curious thoughts and found yourself staring down at the monsters. It was only when Hanji spoke up again that you were pulled out of your thoughts, “You haven’t noticed anything different about them, have you?”

“No, I haven’t.” you said before continuing, “Although I think we might want to start heading back soon section commander. They don’t seem to be doing anything different, and it's been about fifteen minutes.”

“Awww, but why? Maybe they’ll do something in the next five!”

“But section commander, you can’t get sick, otherwise Moblit will know that you snuck out -and if he figures that out, then who knows what other experiments you won’t be able to do because he was expecting you to sneak out again?”

She took a second, staring at nothing in particular as she thought over the consequences of her getting sick, “You’re right,” she sighed as she slumped her shoulders, “I just wish you weren’t.”

You gave her a sympathetic smile as she pocketed her journal, allowing you to bring your arm that was holding out the cloak back to your side, “It’s ok, section commander, I’m sure nothing would’ve happened anyways.”

“Maybe,” she said as she flashed you her usual smile, “I think we might just have to come back here when we get the chance to find out.”

“Sounds like a plan to me, section commander.”

With that said, the both of you swung yourselves back on top of the wall, being careful of the predators under you and landing back on your feet, soon after heading back to HQ.

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Hanji opened her room door and allowed for you to enter first, closing the door with a resounding click as it shut. The room was still set up the same as it had been about a month ago, only this time it was easier to see things. You could see that her table was still very cluttered -as was her desk- and the window behind her desk shined a dim natural light into the room, ‘ _It must be nice to work in a room like this. I kinda wonder if the other section commander’s rooms are like this, or if they are different._ ’

“Here, feel free to sit on the couch.” Hanji said as she gestured her unfettered hand to the lone pale green couch that was against the wall, using her other hand to fish out the notebook she had written in not too long ago.

She took a seat at her desk as you did so, and you could see her messy hair that was in its infamous ponytail glow a little from the light behind her. Her goggles that were just covering her eyes lifted up at her touch, and she placed her wire-framed glasses on her nose instead, keeping her goggles on her forehead and out of the way. “If I’m going to be honest, we didn’t gain much from going out there today -however, it still tells us something” she stopped for a moment and locked eyes with you, “It tells us that the titans are not as sensitive to temperature change as humans are, so risking going out on an expedition while it’s raining will only be a disadvantage to us.”

“That’s a good point Section Commander Hanji, if they were slower in the rain or something like that, it would be more worth it. But if they aren’t physically hindered and we can’t see them that well, it proposes a much bigger disadvantage to us to go out during bad weather than to go during good and clear weather.”

“My point exactly! Even though I’m not sure it’ll do much, I’ll have to bring this information over to Erwin, and hopefully he will take this into account next time we go on an expedition.”

You felt your lips tug upwards at the thought that something you had wondered had potentially saved lives, ‘ _Maybe even my own life._ ’

“Section com-”

“Hanji.” she interrupted you.

“Pardon?” your face scrunched up due to confusion.

“Call me Hanji.” she said.

“I mean no disrespect, but isn’t that a form of insubordination?”

“It might be, but wouldn’t it be even more so to go against a higher-ups' direct orders? I’m telling you you can call me Hanji, at least when it’s just us around. We’re friends anyways, aren’t we?” Even though her words sounded like they might have a harsher tone to it, they truly didn’t hold any form of malice. She was beaming at you from her place at her desk, eyes that were once on her notebook watching you for your reaction. “Of course we are, s- I mean H-Hanji.” you stumbled over your words as you got used to the lack of the title. Never mind your stuttering, you really did mean your words. In the short month you had really gotten to know her, you felt like she had already climbed her way up your friend list, sitting comfortably high on it, ‘ _I suppose having a common hobby with someone really does make it easier to befriend them, even if that hobby is finding out as much as you can about titans_.’

“There you go,” she said through a chuckle while fiddling with her hands, “Now what were you saying?” You were about to respond, opening your mouth to do so, when you realized that you didn’t remember, “Ah, it seems that I’ve forgotten.” you averted your eyes to the window, avoiding eye contact with the woman. It looked like Hanji was about to make some form of retort, when all of the sudden the door to her room had a frantic knock placed on it, and it seemed like whoever it was was in a hurry. “Come in.” Hanji allowed.

After she gave permission, the doorknob quickly turned open and Moblit came in, pushing the door slightly to close it as he walked towards Hanji -but the door didn’t close all the way and was left slightly ajar. He didn’t seem to notice your presence -or he didn’t acknowledge it- as he started talking to the authoritative woman, “Section commander, your presence is requested at Levi’s office for-”

“Got it.” Hanji said as she hastily stood up, shifting her eyes to you for a brief second and chair flying backwards, almost tipping over, “Please ready my paperwork, we’ve got five minutes until we go.” she demanded as her once light and playful tone left her for a more serious, business-like one.

You head flipped back and forth between each person who spoke, trying to follow along with what they were talking about. Moblit turned on his heel to leave, and as he did so, his eyes met with yours and widened a little, ‘ _So he_ didn’t _notice me before, I guess this must be rather urgent_.’ You gave a small wave and smile to him, and he gave both of them back, although his smile was a little more stressed than yours. He made his way out the door to do as he was ordered, and Hanji turned her attention to you, “I’m afraid I have to go now, (Y/N).” You desperately wanted to ask what was going on, but you felt that it wasn’t your place to ask about it -and not wanting to stop Hanji from hurrying where she needed to go, you stood up and made your own way to the door, “It’s ok Hanji,” you said, “I wish you the best of luck with whatever you’re doing though.”

“I’ll tell you about it later if I remember, it’s nothing that secretive, but I can’t exactly go around telling all of the soldiers about it yet either.” she trailed off, seemingly muttering the last part to herself more than to you. “Either way, no pressure,” you said as you stepped into the hall, “Have fun!”

“You too, (Y/N).” you heard her say as you started to walk back to your own room, where you would find yourself once again unable to read a book and instead pondering over trivial things and titans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 10 June, 2020!


	6. An Office Visit

Monday, June 7th, 847 at 10:37  
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You let a puff of air blow out through your nose as you brushed Chestnut, trying to get rid of the dust that was in front of your face. The air around you had a slight musty smell, a kind it only acquired when it had rained the day prior, ‘Not that I mind it, I think I actually like it if anything.’ Today Corporal Levi (who was currently elsewhere, doing whatever he needed to) had told you guys that you were going to be caring for your horses before you were to ride them for the day, keeping your own skills in touch. You personally didn’t get why you had to clean the horses prior to riding them, as Levi had already said you would clean them again after the day was over, ‘I guess that’s just him being his inner clean freak’ you slightly giggled.

You only realized that you had actually laughed aloud when Petra asked you what was so funny from her bent over position in front of you and your horse, scraping out any muck that was somehow already in her horse’s hooves, “Eh, it’s nothing. It’s such a nice break though, from our regular training I mean.” She flickered her orange hues to you, which would have been fully visible to you had it not been for her shoulder length hair that got in her face. She turned back to her duty, and with another stroke of your brush you listened to her response, “Yeah, you’re not wrong there” you heard her try to blow her locks out of her face before she spoke again, “At least so far, it’s bound to get more difficult and taxing once we actually get to the riding of the horses.” Humming in agreement, you were about to say how it always made you sore before Oluo butted in.

“You guys are such pansies, it’s not that bad at all.”

You raised your brow, “Pansies, really?”

Oluo was also brushing his horse, but instead of dusting his off with a brush like you were, he was brushing out his horse’s mane, “Yeah, the both of you are talking like weaklings. Of course, it could just be the fact that I’m so good at it it seems like you guys are.” The arrogance that he spoke with really made you want to smack him one. While you loved him dearly, and would sacrifice your life for your friend if it came down to it, there were times where you really wanted to slap him for the words he said. And it seemed like it was the same for Petra, as she quickly shot up with her back to you and faced towards Oluo, you could only imagine the icy glare she gave to the dirty blonde, “Do you really have to exaggerate and speak highly of yourself all the time? It’s not like you are safe from flaws either!”

“I’m not exaggerating or bragging,” Oluo said as he crossed his arms, taking a break in his job cleaning his horse, “I’m just telling the truth!”

“The stretched truth, anyways” you heard Eld jump in next to Gunther as they passed by the three of you after getting the brushes they needed. Snickering at his comment, you saw Oluo throw a petty glare at him, one that the light blonde ignored, or just didn’t notice to begin with, “It’s not stretched either!” Oluo partially turned his back to the other male, but instantly regretted it as he stumbled slightly and bit his tongue, “Gah!” You looked at him with half pity, but also satisfaction, as he cradled his face twisted with pain in his hands, ‘Karma’s acting quick today I guess.’ Eld was now behind you, catering to his own horse with Gunther behind him, doing the same. “Nah nah nah Eld” Gunther joined, waving his hand half heartedly with each word he had spoken, “He’s totally telling the truth and nothing else. When has he ever exaggerated anything?” Eld rolled his eyes at the dark haired man, not even bothering to fully turn around to acknowledge him, “Oh I don’t know, try-”

“Jinn, Schultz and (L/N).” Everyone became quiet as the corporal reentered the cleaning area for the horses, bodies going rigid at his somehow even more serious tone, “Get back to work, we’re on a schedule. And last time I checked, smart remarks or laughter didn’t get the job done.” You felt your face redden a little as he directed the last point towards you, clearly critiquing the way you were behaving, ‘Why did he have to hear that! Damn it, karma really is acting quick today.’

Everyone turned to the archway where people entered and left the grooming area, save for Levi who was already scowling, when all of you heard fast and rhythmic footfalls pass through it. The same brown haired woman you had been experimenting with recently came up to you, and without even turning to Levi, she said, “Hey, I need to borrow you for a bit.” Looking at her bewilderingly for a second, you darted your eyes to Levi to see his response, “Tch.” Corporal Levi narrowed his vision at the ground for a moment, a long and tense one, before he nodded his head. You felt your eyes lighten up, and you were about to leave with Hanji, who had already started taking a few steps back where she came from, when you realized that you hadn’t finished grooming your horse yet. Almost as if they had sensed your upcoming question, Eld and Gunther looked away from you, making sure not to meet your gaze.

“It’s your turn to be favour boy, Eld. I took care of it last time.”

Eld was about to retort, probably going to say no, when Petra spoke up and saved you, “I’ll do it. I’m almost done, and I really don’t mind doing it that much.”

You shot the strawberry blonde an appreciative glance, “Thank you so much Petra, I promise I’ll make this up to you somehow.” You could hear the grumble of Gunther in the background, saying that you never offered to do anything in return for what he did, before you could hear Eld say, “All you did was stuff your mouth with mashed potatoes.” Smiling back to you, Petra nodded her head and let out a small giggle while waving her hands for you to shoo as you laughed, “Now run off.”

You caught up to Hanji, who had stopped about halfway from where you had stood and the exit, and turned back and waved at your teammates, “See you guys soon!” They shouted their farewells to you as well, “Be safe!” “Don’t slack off too much, otherwise you’ll never catch up to me!” “You owe me a favour once we get back, it wasn’t fair!” “Gunther, chill! It was just a tray man!”

Hanji looked to you with a smile as the both of you started down the hall, already out of sight of the members of your squad. You passed a couple of halls when Hanji spoke up again, “You guys must all be really close, huh?”

“Yeah, I haven’t known them all that long, but I think I’d do almost anything for them.”

“That’s very sweet.” Hanji said as she got rather quiet, almost as if she was contemplating something. Stopping in the hall, she turned to you, and you did the same after you realized that she had stopped, “Is something wrong Hanji?”

“Nothing is wrong per se, it’s just, well…”

You felt yourself steel over with nerves, ‘There aren’t any more questions that I’ve asked and this isn’t the way to where Leslie is… Is she turning me in to Erwin for sneaking into her room?’ Feeling panic set in, you balled your hands into tiny fists before you unclenched them, trying to soothe your paranoia, ‘She said we were friends, there’s no way she would do this after she said that! Right…?’

You couldn’t help it though, you had to ask, “You aren’t taking me to Commander Erwin, are you?”

“I… yes, I am.” You felt yourself freeze and stand a little taller, the surprise shocking you greatly as your eyes fell to the ground.

“I understand. I do want you to know that I am deeply sorry for sneaking into your room, Section Commander.” You figured you might as well let her know that you did sincerely feel bad about what you had done, calling her by her title rather than her name to try and show some form of respect. ‘I guess this was why Levi was glaring at the ground before, he couldn’t believe one of his own had disobeyed rules and couldn’t look me in the eyes. After all, Hanji must’ve told him.’

“Huh? Nonono, this isn’t about that.”

Your ears perked up and you hesitantly brought your eyes up to meet hers, “O-Oh, it isn’t?” you asked for confirmation.

Hanji merely shook her head, “No, it isn’t.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you taking me to the commander’s office?”

“This is what I need to talk to you about. It just came to me that I should probably ask you what you want before I do this. I’m taking you to Erwin’s office because.... Well, I want to convince him to take you out of the Special Operations Squad so that we can test on titans more often.”

Hanji’s eyes held an uncharacteristic seriousness in them, something akin to determination flowing through those chocolate orbs of hers, “I’m hoping that he’ll let you join my squad, but really, I’ll take anything I can get. That is, if this is something that you’re ok with.” You stared out for a second, truly thinking over your options. On one hand, you’d be leaving your friends behind. Yes, you’d be doing something that’d make you happy, but it wasn’t like you were unhappy with the position you currently had. On the other hand, you’d be staying with your friends, killing titans together on expeditions and keeping each other safe. But then you’d never know what would have come of taking this opportunity that Hanji was presenting to you. Meekly, you spoke up, “Will I be able to still see my friends?” Hanji looked away where the both of you were heading about a minute ago, “I can’t guarantee that you’ll see them more than the occasional glance while passing in a hallway.”

‘Well shit.’ you thought. You had to think about the bigger picture here though. You were a soldier, and your duty was to help, protect, and serve humanity with your life. ‘So the real question should be; how can I help humanity more? Well, if I stay with my squad, I’ll definitely spend the rest of my life killing titans alongside them, most certainly helping humanity in riding of those beasts a little. But if I go with Hanji, we could possibly find a way to stop all of the titans. For good.’ With a heavy heart, you realized what option you had to choose.

“I want to join you in testing on the titans.”

The brunette in front of you quickly raised her head, eyes widened as she must have not thought you would agree with it, “This is great!” she said, a smile already adorning her face at the thought of having a testing buddy, “Now all we have to do is convince Erwin!” Her smile must have been contagious, because not long after you found yourself grinning as well. The pair of you made your way down the hall once more, and for a second you could only hear boots meeting the floor until your voice sounded as well, “What will the corporal say about this when he finds out?”

“Oh, Corporal Short Stick? He already knows.” While she said those words so easily, you didn’t take them lightly. ‘He already knows and he didn’t even argue for me to stay? Ouch…’ Hanji didn’t even look at you as she continued, “It took me forever for me to convince him, like two weeks. At first he was all like, “You can’t just take her and turn her into a brat because you fucking feel like it, four eyes” but after using my expert skills in convincing people, I was able to get him to agree. He sure was a tough nut to crack though.” she made a face as she did her Levi impression, clearly mocking the rather stern man. Giggling as you took in her words, you realized that at least he had put up a fight for you, ‘Maybe that’s why he glared at the ground before, because he knew that that might be the last time he saw me while being a part of his squad.’

It didn’t take long for you guys to reach Erwin’s door, the label about eye level on it reading, ‘Erwin Smith, Commander.’ You looked at Hanji, and she returned the glance, giving you a curt nod as she rapped the knuckles of her fist on the solid and sturdy wooden door. And not long after was a response. “Come in.”

Hanji didn’t hesitate, as she opened the door and walked in first, holding it open for you to follow before she walked straight up to his desk, looking as if she had strode up to the man who sat before the window a million times before. “Erwin, I have an idea that I honestly believe will help humanity.” The said man warily turned his focus from the paperwork he was just filling out to the section commander in front of him, and then finally to you, “Hanji…” he said warningly, his baby blue eyes focused on her. You couldn’t help but feel small in the room with both of the higher ups, and you unconsciously shifted yourself closer to Hanji, hiding behind her a little and making sure to keep your face as impassive as you could. “Erwin, please let me propose my idea.”

“Fine. But please, make it quick.”

“I believe that Soldier (Y/N) (L/N) should join my squad. If she was allowed to do this, I would be able to further my studies more and I would be overall more efficient. With her assistance, the experiments would be more organized, therefore taking less time, and there would be another perspective on everything, meaning that something that I miss, she might see.” There was a certain tone in her voice, and it took you a second to recognize it as the one she had used on him about a month ago while trying to convince him to take a titan back inside the walls while on that expedition. You looked at the back of her head, as that was all you could see of her face. Not wavering your eyes, you had to admit that she made a good argument. In fact, with the way she worded everything, she made it sound like it would only be a bad idea for the commander to not allow you to move from the Special Operations Squad and into Hanji”s own. It took everything in your power to keep your eyes straight ahead at the wall when Erwin spoke up again, “Miss (Y/N) is already in the Special Operations Squad, is she not?”

“Yes, she is.”

You noticed out of the corner of your eye as the commander folded his hands and leaned back into his chair, playing with his thumbs as he contemplated his answer. When you heard him start to speak again, your breath hitched, “My answer is no, Hanji.”

Hanji did not waste any time taking a step forward and slamming her hands onto his wooden desk, and you couldn’t help but finally break your gaze as you noticed some of the objects on top of it shudder a little, unlike the stoic man that was in front of you who hadn’t flinched at all. “But Erwin! You’re not thinking about how much she can do, about how much she already has done!”

“What do you mean, about how much she has already done?” You could feel his stern gaze on Hanji, and you silently commended the girl as she didn’t react to it at all.

“You know about the recent findings I’ve reported about titan hair? And how titan blood doesn’t mix well with seemingly any substance, despite it being shaken or with a lid on? How it still evaporates and leaves the original fluid behind if it didn’t evaporate it first? How we shouldn’t go on expeditions while it is raining because it only gives us a disadvantage? Well, humanity gained those answers because of this fellow soldier. She came up to me a while ago and asked such questions, and if she hadn’t done so, I’m not sure if I ever would have come up with them.”

“Just how were you able to get her to work on these experiments?”

“I had asked Levi if I could borrow her for a little while.”

“And why do you need her in particular? Why can’t someone else join you and think of other questions?”

“Well not only do I think that no one else would think of questions like she does, but she has a passion for testing on them like I do. You can see it when she is working around a titan, she becomes focused and observant, but not in a wary way like everybody else. She is watching their movements not only in fear of them hurting her, but also in curiosity. For instance, when around the new titan we caught, Leslie, she has no problem getting close to him if that means getting better results. On top of this, she gets along well with other people as far as I can tell, meaning that it wouldn’t be hard or awkward for her to be incorporated into my squad.”

You couldn’t help but look at the ground as Hanji spoke about you, not only now feeling humble, but also feeling a little shy about being talked about so much.

“(L/N), is it true that you find the titans interesting?”

Hanji turned around and looked at you as you began your response, and you tried your best not to crack under the pressure of both pairs of eyes on you, despite one of them being a good friend, “I- Yes, Commander. I c-can’t help but wonder about how they came to be, about why they are able t-to regenerate, about why they resemble humans so much. I mean, humanity has no records of them before about a hundred and four years ago, so where and why did they suddenly seemingly appear out of nowhere and attack humans? They don’t need sustenance, so what drives them to attack humans in particular? There’s seldomly an animal that just kills another just for fun and not for nourishment, so the fact th-that…” Your words started off weak, and expressed how nervous you really were, but as soon as you started to ponder aloud about what the titans could do, you stopped thinking about the stares of the higher ups on you. It was almost as if it were just you in the room, musing your own thoughts to no one specifically except yourself. Of course, once you remembered where you were and what you were doing it, your new found confidence dissipated into thin air, “Ah, s-sorry. I didn’t mean to ramble.”

Hanji gave you a comforting smile before she turned back to Erwin and gestured a hand out to your position slightly to her side and behind her, “I rest my case.” If it had been anyone else in your situation, you would be having trouble trying not to laugh. But alas, her words were aimed at you, and so you found an embarrassed blush blossoming on your face as you once again studied the wooden floor boards.

“Hold on Hanji. You shouldn’t get so ahead of yourself, after all, I have to consult Levi about this.” Erwin mentioned when he noticed the winning smile she sent his way.

“That’s already taken care of! He told me that it was ok with him as long as it was ok with you!”

The man looked at his desk and thought for a second, knowing full well that Hanji wouldn’t dare lie about something like that. You could feel the tension and excitement build in the air as you and Hanji awaited his response. The tiniest, selfish part of you wanted him to deny it, to say that you couldn’t help her and that you had to stay in Levi’s squad so then you could be with your friends. But the majority of you so desperately wanted him to say yes, that you could join Hanji’s squad and test on titans when need be. The silence that danced across the room and laced itself in with the atmosphere was broken by the blonde, “(L/N) will not join your squad.”

Feeling your heart sink once again, you knew that this time would be final. It seemed like Hanji didn’t get that though, as she tried to protest his decision once more, “You’re not thinking about the bigger picture here though, Erwin! Think about-”

“She will not join your squad. But she will become a captain.”

You looked up from the ground for probably the hundredth time that hour, being unused to the emotional roller coaster that was the past fifteen minutes. Curiously, you asked in small words, “I’m sorry Commander Erwin, but what is a captain?” You mentally cheered when you heard the lack of a stutter, and would have high fived yourself had it not looked so unprofessional at that moment.

“Captain is a title that I am dedicating specially for you. As a captain you will be able to help and join Hanji along for her experiments, but you will have to fill out the official paperwork for them, as well as report them to me. You will have to squeeze as much information out of each experiment as you can, and will have to piece information together from said experiments. Along with this, you will have to think of as many experiments as possible, as gaining information on the titans will now be your primary focus starting tomorrow.”

You mulled over his words for a moment, processing what he said and taking it all in. Hanji was standing still between you and Erwin, although slightly to the side as she had moved out of the way when you had asked him a question. It wasn’t long after until another inquiry popped into your head, “Commander, if I may ask another question?”

“Go ahead.”

“Why didn’t you just put me in Section Commander Hanji’s squad? I mean, I could still do the task you’ve described in her squad, so wouldn’t it be easier just to do so?”

“The reason you’re not going to be put in her squad is because you are still going to be with the Special Operations Squad during expeditions. For example, because you still play a vital role in Levi’s squad, whether he is willing to trade you over or not, you will be under Levi’s command when we go outside of the walls. You will listen and obey his commands as if you were a regular soldier and nothing had changed at all, and you will help your teammates in the tasks given. This will take action on the next expedition, the 50th.” You nodded your head, ‘I suppose it makes sense. So basically I will help Hanji with her experiments and such normally, and when the Survey Corps are going on an expedition, I will have to listen to Levi’s commands. I guess it was easier to make a separate title for it after all.’ You couldn’t help but be at least a little surprised at how quickly he had come up with a sound plan, but you figured that was what it took for someone to become the commander. You had to have a level head, and be able to make up sound plans in mere seconds.

“Is that all you needed, Hanji?” Erwin asked as he changed his attention from you to the messy haired woman across his desk, “Yes Erwin! Thank you so much, I promise you won’t regret this!” Hanji grabbed your hand and started to drag you out the door. Before Hanji could slam the door shut behind her, you noticed Erwin watching the exchange, giving you a warm smile, that almost said, ‘Welcome to the family, kid.’

“(Y/N)! We did it!” Hanji shouted as she jumped up and down ever so slightly, the pent up happiness finally leaking out, “We can experiment together now! Just imagine all that we’ll be able to get done!” She started to zone out, probably picturing what she had just said in her head, while you only smiled and agreed, “I know, I’m so happy that I’ll be able to experiment on Leslie with you more!” You were about to continue, but then you thought about doing something else instead of babbling on about how pleased you were with the outcome. You were hesitant, but you figured that it couldn’t hurt, ‘We are friends, and we’re going to get to know each other better with how closely we’ll be working together, so… Why not?’

You leaned forwards and enclosed Hanji in your arms, resting your head on her shoulder and showing your proper appreciation, “Thank you Hanji. You’re the best friend ever.”

Feeling the titan obsessed soldier go still, you thought for a second that you had made her uncomfortable. This thought however left your mind as quickly as it had entered, when she returned the action, her slender arms encapsulating your torso and her head slightly bumping into yours as she hugged you back, “It’s no problem, I can’t wait to see how much we can learn about them together.” she said as she referenced the mindless, man eating monsters.

The both of you pulled back, and she smiled at you, her muddy orbs meeting your own (E/C) ones, “I can’t wait either.”

‘She really is a great friend.’

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You were heading back to where your squad was, hoping that they were still in the grooming area. To your luck, they still were in a sense. The five of them were currently heading over to the mini building where all of the brushes and cleaning tools for the horses were kept. Without wasting any time, you ran up to where they were, ‘Gunther and Eld are in the back! That means I can try to surprise hug them!’ you thought with a quiet gasp, the current happiness you were radiating not letting you think about how ridiculous this would look. Your feet pounded on the ground as you went to carry out your idea, and when you got about halfway there they turned around. Still keeping up your pace though, you jumped up to try and reach around their shoulders and slung your left arm around Eld’s neck and your right around Gunther’s.

They both supported your weight, despite stumbling slightly, and let out yells of surprise, “Geez, what’s gotcha so happy?” Eld asked as your feet dangled off the ground slightly still, and you tried to pull the both of them closer to you with your arms as you beamed at them. Oluo, Petra and Levi had looked at the three of you for a second, before deciding to continue doing what they had been prior. You could feel Gunther give your side a squeeze as he gave you a side hug, and it wasn’t long after that Eld had done the same, “Guys, guess what?!”

“Oh, I don’t know. You were able to test on Leslie again?” Gunther said. You had of course told them about the experiments and tests that you and Hanji had done together, them being your best friends after all. You had even told them the name that Hanji had given the captured titan.

“No! It’s different! Besides, it was too short for any real experiments to have been done!”

“Did you realize how good of friends we are to you?” Eld joked.

“No! Well, I mean yes -I know what great friends you are- but that’s not it!!”

“Well c’mon then, tell us!” Gunther urged, now being slightly curious as to what had gotten you so excited. You loosened your arms and gently slid to the floor, before you took a step back and paused for a dramatic effect, “Ok, so I just went to the commander's office, and…” The both of them nodded in unison for you to continue, and you giggled slightly at their synchronization, “I got promoted to captain!”

They took a second before they responded, Gunther blinking once or twice and Eld searching your face for any hint to tell him that you were trying to pull wool over their eyes. “(Y/N), you do know there is no such title, right?” Eld carefully asked, being cautious of your reaction. He shared a concerned glance with Gunther, who also seemed to think you might have lost it in the short time you had been gone. “I’m telling the truth! I have to start tomorrow!” Gunther was about to join in with Eld’s reasoning when Corporal Levi himself added to the conversation as he stepped out of the small shed, “She’s not lying. Shitty glasses has been trying to get me to give her up for a while now, and I finally relented yesterday. I don’t know if Erwin necessarily gave her the title of Captain, but if he agreed she won’t be in our squad much longer.”

You could see their expressions become downcast at the thought of you leaving their squad, “I’ll still see you guys every now and then though! I promise to visit whenever I can, and on top of that, whenever there is an expedition, I’ll be joining you guys!” you quickly added to try and cheer them up a little. Gunther looked at you for a second, “Y’know that favour you owe me?” he asked. You hesitantly nodded your head, your nerves knotting up in your stomach as you became anxious, hoping that he wasn’t going to ask for something impossible, “Well I would like to use it to hold you accountable on the ‘visiting us when you can’ part.”

Grinning as you nodded to him, you gave him a hug, “Of course. I swear to it.”

You couldn’t see it, but Gunther then smirked at Eld and mouthed, ‘Guess who’s the favorite bestie now?’ Eld only rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 17 June, 2020!


	7. Naming Ceremony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My internet has been slow lately, and I'm kinda surprised it let me update at all, but I hope you enjoy! Sorry for the delay ^^'

**Wednesday, April 17th, 850 at 13:11**

\----------------------------------------------------------  
  


You patted the tight, black wires that ensnared the titan, effectively keeping it in place and preventing it from bringing countless people to their premature demise. The hazel spheres of the three meter giant closely watched your every move from it’s spot, trying to find an opportunity to jump at you and spill your blood on the ground. “Yeah, you weren’t kidding when you said that they’re not going anywhere!” you shouted over to your partner in crime with a laugh. Hanji herself was looking over the other titan that she and the Special Operations Squad had secured for testing, and she gave you a bright and toothy grin, moving her gaze away from it and directing it to you, “I told you so!” she paused for a moment, before she started a new train of thought, one that was also prevalent in your mind, “I’m so glad we’ll finally be able to test on them again, it’s been a while since our last batch.”

She made her way over to you, with a noticeable pep in her step, “Dontcha think?” You looked between both titans, a fond smile on your face despite their murderous pasts, “It has been too long,” turning your eyes to Hanji, you continued, “It’s been what, six months?” Hanji looked past your head and at nothing in particular, something she tended to do when pondering over something, “I think so, just about anyways. Eitherway, we finally have our babies back! Well, different ones...but still!”

You chuckled, “You’re right, we do. Hey, speaking of, are we going with the regular procedure?”

She pulled out a ribboned tape measurer with a teasing smirk, the same one that she had pulled out countless times before whenever she needed to measure some part of a titan, “You betcha!” You inwardly groaned at her response, “Ughhh, do we have to…? It’d be faster to just skip onto the testing part!” While you tried reasoning with her, you already knew what her answer would be, “Now, now, now (Y/N), we kinda need these measurements in order to test properly and you know that.”

“Fine, let’s just get this over with.” As annoyed as you acted about it, you really didn’t mind it that much. It was more of the fact that you wanted to start the experiments right away that made you act like it was the worst thing ever. “That’s the spirit!” Hanji encouraged, before looking back at you, “What one do you want to start with?”

“Let’s get the easiest one out of the way first, so the nine meter one.” Hanji nodded along and walked over. Most people would assume that the smaller the titan, the easier it was to test on, but you found it working the other way. Even if the nine meter one was bigger, that means that it was laying down in comparison to the three meter, who was sitting up, and therefore it was easier to reach. For the three meter one, the both of you were going to have to climb on it’s back, while Hanji’s squad, who was always watching over the both of you whenever you were near the titans, stood on guard and closer to it, ready to kill the beast or at least hinder it at a moment's notice should it be needed. “Just be careful around its mouth, we never know what it is going to try and do.” you reminded her.

“Who are you, Mother Moblit?”

Snorting, you replied, “Nah, but maybe I’ll have to pretend to be him since he’s not here right now.”

“Please, you can’t possibly replicate him.”

“‘ _Oh, Section Commander,’_ ” you started, feigning a troubled mind and putting a hand to your forehead, “‘ _Please step away from that titan! It’s too dangerous, you’re going to get killed!’_ ”

You could hear a few muffled snickers from a few of the soldiers not too far away, namely Nifa and Abel, who must have found your mocking imitation amusing, “‘ _Oh, I can feel the grey hairs already…’_ ” Hanji joined in with them in their giggles, save for the fact that she didn’t try and stifle her laughter, “Why do you keep saying ‘ _Oh_ ’?” she critiqued, “He doesn’t say that, y’know.”

“‘ _Oh, I don’t know, Section Commander_.’”

Shaking her head with a smile, she said, “Fine, fine, you can _somewhat_ imitate him well enough. Can we please get started now?” she gestured to the titan as she asked the question, “We have other things to do y’know, like name ‘em.”

“Ok, ok, for real this time. Let’s do this!”

\----------------------------------------------------------

You laid on the ground, muscles aching and body tired. To say that the job of measuring the titans wasn’t a taxing one would be a lie. Matter of fact, you hadn’t felt this tired in a long time, not being used to having to stretch your body and hold it in abnormal positions to hold one end of a tape measure just for Hanji to get an accurate reading. Hanji, who seemed completely unaffected, was still scanning her eyes over the notes the pair of you had just written down in your assigned journal. Lazily watching over the titans, you noticed the three meter one with light brown hair had its eyes on the soldiers standing above your head. The nine meter one, who you were closer to, had its ocean blue eyes on you, but due to its position laying on its back, it would never be able to reach you. Nine, as you have started to call it until it was named, was a rather peculiar one. Unlike most titans, it had facial hair, a mustache, to be exact, and it was the fact that it seemed trimmed to it’s upper lip that puzzled you the most. But there was nothing you could really do about it, as not enough time has passed for the hair length to even possibly change, so you were left with the curious thought sticking in your mind as if it had been adhered with glue.

Moving your (E/C) pools away from the titans, you observed the clouds, ‘ _Man, it sure is a good day for titan testing. If only we could just start on that right away…_ ’ The thoughts of titans plagued your mind like the light, puffy white clouds did the sky. They weren’t heavy or dark, but they were ever so present nonetheless. You danced your eyes from cloud to cloud, passing the time the best way you knew how until Hanji was done and you could have a turn with the notes. ‘ _This one kinda looks like a baby bunny,_ ’ you noted, ‘ _And this one looks like… Well, to be honest, it kinda just looks like a cloud._ ’ You squinted your eyes and shifted your eyes a little, trying to look at the cloud in a different angle so that you could perceive an image that wasn’t just a cloud. Despite your best attempts, in the end they were all futile, and it came to be that your time searching for an object among the clouds was cut short when Hanji stood over you, “Geez, are you dead? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so tired after doing so little,” she joked as she nudged you slightly with her left foot. You playfully glared at her as you sat up, making sure not to use your arms and only your abs as if it would prove to her that you weren’t tired, “Just give me the journal, you meanie.”

She let out a small huff at the insult before complying, “I am _not_ a meanie.”

“Whatever you say, _meanie._ ” You could faintly hear her talk in the background, but you chose to ignore her as you looked over the journal, taking in and processing all of the information the both of you had just written down;

**_Nine's Measurements:_ **

**Fingers**

**Left Index Finger: 57.4 cm**

**Left Middle Finger: 59.5 cm**

**Left Ring Finger: 57.2 cm**

**Left Pinkie Finger: 48.0 cm**

**Left Thumb: 43.2 cm**

**Right Index Finger: 57.6 cm**

**Right Middle Finger: 59.2 cm**

**Right Ring Finger: 57.2 cm**

**Right Pinkie Finger: 46.8 cm**

**Right Thumb: 43.0 cm**

**Arms**

**Left Elbow to Wrist: 256.2 cm**

**Left Elbow to Socket: 243.5 cm**

**Left Full Arm: 499.7 cm**

**Right Elbow to Wrist: 255.0 cm**

**Right Elbow to Socket: 246.7 cm**

**Right Full Arm: 501.7 cm**

**Legs**

**Left Knee to Ankle: 275.9 cm**

**Left Knee to Socket: 299.0 cm**

**Left Full Leg: 574.9 cm**

**Right Knee to Ankle: 272.1 cm**

**Right Knee to Socket: 302.2 cm**

**Right Full Leg: 574.3 cm**

**Head**

**Width: 85.6 cm**

**Length: 134.2 cm**

**Eyes**

**Left Eye Width: 18.4 cm**

**Left Eye Height: 14.3 cm**

**Right Eye Width: 19.7 cm**

**Right Eye Height: 14.2 cm**

**Nose**

**Width: 19.9 cm**

**Length: 29.6 cm**

**Ears**

**Left Ear Width: 29.3**

**Left Ear Length: 45.2**

**Right Ear Width: 29.0 cm**

**Right Ear Length: 36.1 cm**

**Hair**

**From Scalp to End: 45.1 cm**

**_Three's Measurements:_ **

**Fingers**

**Left Index Finger: 21.2 cm**

**Left Middle Finger: 22.5 cm**

**Left Ring Finger: 21.3 cm**

**Left Pinkie Finger: 11.8 cm**

**Left Thumb: 13.0 cm**

**Right Index Finger: 21.3 cm**

**Right Middle Finger: 22.6 cm**

**Right Ring Finger: 21.2 cm**

**Right Pinkie Finger: 13.0 cm**

**Right Thumb: 13.3 cm**

**Arms**

**Left Elbow to Wrist: 76.9 cm**

**Left Elbow to Socket: 99.7 cm**

**Left Full Arm: 176.6 cm**

**Right Elbow to Wrist: 78.0 cm**

**Right Elbow to Socket: 99.9 cm**

**Right Full Arm: 177.9 cm**

**Legs**

**Left Knee to Ankle: 117.0 cm**

**Left Knee to Socket: 149.2 cm**

**Left Full Leg: 272.1 cm**

**Right Knee to Ankle: 117.8 cm**

**Right Knee to Socket: 148.4 cm**

**Right Full Leg: 272.1 cm**

**Head:**

**Width: 55.5 cm**

**Length: 81.7 cm**

**Eyes**

**Left Eye Width: 8.2 cm**

**Left Eye Height: 5.8 cm**

**Right Eye Width: 8.3 cm**

**Right Eye Height: 6.0 cm**

**Nose**

**Width: 7.1 cm**

**Length: 11.0 cm**

**Ears**

**Left Ear Width: 14.9 cm**

**Left Ear Length: 23.8 cm**

**Right Ear Width: 15.1 cm**

**Right Ear Length: 21.1 cm**

**Hair**

**From Scalp to End: 11.0 cm**

“I’m so glad that is over.” you said as you stuffed the journal in your own pocket. Hanji plopped herself on the ground next to you, pulling her knees to her chest and hugging them with her arms, her head on her knees and facing you, “I have to agree with you on that one, I can finally think of names for them now.” She let out a chuckle, and you couldn’t help but do the same, “What names are you thinking of this time?”

“I’m not sure yet to be completely honest,“ she admitted, “But I do have some in mind that I think’ll work nicely with them. Do you have any ideas?” 

“No, at least not at the moment.” Silence drifted across the both of you for a minute, and it was only interrupted by the sound of Hanji untangling her limbs and standing up, “I’ve got it!” she shouted. Getting yourself back on your feet, you prepared yourself for the long speech that always came with the arrival of a new titan, or in this case, the arrival of new _titans_. You watched in amusement as she started, “Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, there was a tribe of man eating cannibals. It all started when there was a man and his wife, Sawney Bean and Agnes Douglas, were left in a tough situation. You see, Mr. Bean was a man without a trade, meaning that he had no means to support his wife and any children they wanted to have.”

Hanji walked her way back and forth, taking slow and long strides to each titan and trying to watch for any reaction to her words. She never found any, but she continued to do so nonetheless, “Without any faithful means of making money, he figured that he could make a living robbing people, and selling their belongings for money. After a few tries at this however, he started to think, ‘Wouldn’t it be easier to just kill my victims?’” she mimicked, her eyes resting on the nine meter titan before they drifted onto the three meter one. “And that’s what he did. He and his wife moved into a cave, one near a shore, so that when they came across any victims they could be easily murdered and robbed from. But then he got to thinking again, ‘Why not eat the bodies?’ After all, they were bound to pile up after a while, and living in a cave didn’t provide enough sunlight for farming. So from then on, he and his wife sustained themselves off of a high protein diet, consisting of human flesh prepared in various ways. Pickled, roasted, boiled. The two of them had it all figured out, and soon found themselves living comfortably enough that they thought bringing children into the world was a good idea.”

You inwardly cringed at the next part coming up. You had heard this story before, yes, but you still found this part especially disgusting, ‘ _Not to say that everything they did wasn’t disgusting, just this part is… Just no._ ’

“They had their first child, a girl, in the cave. They brought her into their cannibalistic world, feeding her human flesh when she was old enough. They continued to have more children, fourteen exactly, matter of fact. And their children had their own children in the cave, incestuous babies coming to life and picking up the same habits as the people they grew up with. It was safe to say they had things planned out. A stable food source, a home that was far away from other humans, and a clean water supply. What was even better was that their cave became waterlogged when it was day time, so when their victims were reported missing, the search parties that went to look for the missing persons never thought of venturing into the cave.”

Hanji turned on her heel once more as she paused, trying to build up suspense for the titans who were watching her. Whether Hanji thought they were doing so because they were listening to her or not was beyond you, but it was as clear as day that their only interest was to tear her to shreds, “Then one day, all the men of their tribe went to hunt again. They came across a man and a wife, who were riding on horses, coming home from a fair. It’s said that they tried to kill the woman first, that they disemboweled her and let her bleed to death on the sandy shore before their cave. I bet you guys would like to do something like that to me, huh? Anyways, when they went after the man, a big group of about twenty people, who were coming home from the same fair, came upon the horrid sight and fought them. It was safe to say that the tribe was out numbered, and they retreated into their cave. Not too long after that, the king sent out a search party, where they ended up searching the cave and finding the Bean family. It didn’t take long for the king and the people to agree that a fair trial was unnecessary, and they took all of the family, men, women and children, to their capital where they were to be killed.”

She gave a quick glance to you for a second, a serious look casted onto her face like usual when she was doing her naming ceremony. It was a rather serious subject after all, so you couldn’t completely blame her, you were just always surprised how she could tell the story so easily, ‘ _Then again, we_ are _in the Survey Corps. Seeing our comrades and friends being torn apart, limb from limb, isn’t that uncommon. So I suppose it makes sense as to why she is so desensitized._ ’

“The men were to have their legs and arms cut off, bleeding an agonizing death like their victims did as they were watched by their women and children. The next day they themselves were to be burned in a cage alive, treated as if they were witches. However, there were two men in the tribe who are said to have not screamed, not wailed in pain, or really reacted at all when their limbs were cut off. They laid there and bled out next to their family members, who were crying out for the immense pain they felt. They only said a few words, ‘You will regret the day when we came back to haunt you’ and ‘We will never forget what you have done to us. Remember that.’ I feel like they are almost like you guys in a sense, as in the both of you are different from other titans. Usually, other titans would be struggling against their restraints, but the both of you seem to be pretty content right now.” Hanji noted aloud.

“Their names were Albert and Chicacchironi.” She pointed at the nine meter titan, “You will be called Albert,” then she pointed at the three meter titan, “and you will be called Chicacchironi.” You thought over the names she had given them, ‘ _I guess Albert isn’t that bad, but Chicacchironi?? I don’t even know how to spell that! Is that even a real name, or is that just something she made up? Also the irony in giving the shorter one the long name is_ really _clever there, Hanji._ ’

“You’re ok with those names, right?” Hanji inquired, asking for your opinion. Supposing that you didn’t have any better suggestions, you nodded your head and went along with them, “Yeah, of course. Although I do have to ask, did you come up with Chicacchironi’s name, or was there an actual person named that?”

Hanji giggled a little, “I guess that’s for me to know, and you to wonder about, huh?” she teased.

“What? No! You can’t do that, c’mon, pretty pleeeeease?” you begged, ‘ _If I’m gonna have to call Three Chicacchironi, I’m gonna want to at least know if it came from that crazy head of hers. Who knows what she thinks of?_ ’

“Hmmm, I’ll think about it.” she mused, her right hand under her chin and her elbow in her left palm as she pretended to carefully ponder over your request. You crossed your arms and turned your head away, greatly resembling a child, “I’ll just have to find the answer out on my own then.”

“Yeah, have good luck with that one.” Hanji said as she snorted, picturing you flipping through a book for hours on end for that one tiny sentence that may or may not confirm the existence of the name Chicacchironi being in the past. A new voice popped in and joined your conversation, “Hey Section Commander? Could you pl- Back away from that titan! That’s way to close!”

Hanji put her hands on her hips, giving a sassy look to Moblit, who had just entered the testing area, “Yeah, yeah, ok.” she said, not taking his words too seriously as she took the tiniest step forwards, not even bothering to look back at where she had been, “I’ll be fine.”

“I swear to the Walls, one of these days I’m going to close my eyes for one second and you’re going to be in a titans mouth, claiming that it was for science or something…” Moblit sighed exasperatedly.

“Well, actually, that doesn’t soun-”

“No. Don’t you dare get any ideas.” Moblit warned as he interrupted her, and Hanji put up her hands besides her head with a lopsided grin, “Okok, fair fair. I _won’t_ stick my head in a titans mouth to see what it looks like on the inside. Although it would be nice to see how a titan’s teeth hold up with all the crunching of bones it does…”

You joined in with her, “Yeah, a good question would also be if their teeth regenerate when they are partly damaged like their flesh does, or if it only repairs itself when it is fully cut off.”

Moblit shook his head, not believing how quickly the both of you had ignored his simple request of trying not to die, “Just… Please back away from the titans.”

“Oh! That reminds me Moblit! I just named them, do you wanna know their names?” Hanji asked with a beaming smile.

“You mean that Three and Nine weren’t good enough for you?” he asked, his tone dry, yet saturated and dripping with sarcasm. He was the one who had originally suggested that you called them by their heights for the meantime, as Hanji hadn’t done the naming ceremony yet and you still needed to be able to distinguish what titan you guys were talking about. You had to admit, you were a little embarrassed that you hadn’t thought of that earlier, ‘ _It would have saved us so much trouble with our last batch of titans._ ’

“I’ll take that as a yes and pretend you didn’t just say that.” Hanji said with a fake hurt look, knowing that Moblit meant no harm with his words, “Three is now Chicacchironi, and Nine is now Albert!” She made wild gestures with her arms when she introduced each of their names, and you tried to hold back a snicker at Moblit’s face as she did this. If facial expressions could talk, his would have been screaming at her to hurry up so he could talk, and you could only assume it was important.

“That’s great, Section Commander, but we kinda need to go. The uh, the _thing_ you wanted to see all set up.” He pointed his hands in the direction of the exit, where he had come from. “Oh, it is already? Awesome!” Hanji shouted and jumped for joy. You joined in yourself, but for a different reason, “What in the good of Wall Maria are you talking about?”

“Umm, I’ll tell you later! It’s a surprise! Meet me in my room at about twenty hundred for titan questions, ok?!” Hanji yelled as she grasped her hand onto Moblit’s and pulled him out the door before you could answer, and instead of Moblit leading Hanji somewhere like it had seemed things were going to end up like, it was Hanji who dragged them to wherever they were heading. You rushed behind them not too long after, but when you peeked your head around the corner they had just turned, they were nowhere to be found, footsteps already faded into the distance, ‘ _I highly doubt that she is actually gonna tell me later._ ’

\----------------------------------------------------------

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, observing the plaque on your door that read, _(Y/N) (L/N), Captain_. You had gotten your own separate room the day you started your new job, almost three years ago. Turning the door handle and making your way inside, you recalled all of the nights you had spent not sleeping, either paperwork keeping you up from time to time, or the stress of it preventing you from sleeping. You plopped yourself at your own desk, drinking in the image of your room.

There wasn’t much in here that was different from Hanji’s own room, except for the fact that you didn’t have a couch, but rather two seats instead. You had a desk that was styled in the same way as hers, even a similar table and set of chairs. You personally thought the room looked a little barren, but you didn’t see the point of dressing it all up, ‘ _After all, that’s just more work for whoever has to clean my room once a titan gets to me, as depressing as that sounds._ ’ You had your own bedroom, with a comfortable king sized bed all to yourself, ‘ _It’s too bad I don’t use that more often. It sure as hell be more relaxing than falling asleep at my desk again, that’s for sure._ ’ Lastly, you had a bathroom all to yourself. It had all the bare necessities; a toilet, a sink and a shower.

You reached into your breast pocket, and wrapped your fingers around the journal that you had stored in there before. All of it’s pages were blank except for the ones that you had written on today, although you could faintly see the outline of the pencil marks when Hanji had pressed too hard when writing with her pencil. You let out a small laugh when you recalled that she had broken her pencil tip, and she meekly asked you for yours right after, ‘ _Man, she sure is a klutz at times._ ’ Getting your own pencil from off of your desk, you poked the pointed end with your finger, making sure it was sharp, before you started to erase Three and Nine, and replace it with their names. When you got to Chicacchironi however, you faltered for a second, still not being completely sure on how to spell it, ‘ _I’ll just give it my best shot._ ’ you thought. You carefully wrote down the letters C H I C A C H I R O N Y, ‘ _Eh, looks good enough. Hanji can always change it up later if she wants too, it’s in pencil after all._ ’

Now it was time to think up of the questions. Usually it came to you more easily than it was right now, but your mind was foggy with sleep, and you found yourself having trouble keeping your eyes open. You started to scribble down a question that had managed to wander into the wild realm you called your mind after you shrugged off your tan leather uniform jack and threw it on the back rest of your chair, ‘ _Do bigger titans move slower than smaller ones because of how big they are? Like how a fly is faster than a human?_ ’

Resting your head down on your arm, using it as some sort of makeshift pillow to rest your head on while you worked, you hand slowly wrote the words, struggling to finish the thought. You battled with your eyelids, desperately wanting to continue your work. Eventually you had brought the hand that had been holding the pencil to your eyes to try and forcefully hold them open, but you found this not effective in ridding you of your sleepiness, but rather just causing a stinging from your now dry eyes. You grumbled a little complaint to yourself, “Why is this so damn difficult?” Despite your best efforts, you ended up falling asleep, forgetting the question but now blissfully in your dreams, now safe in your mind from the daily horror that were the titans. After all, they only couldn’t physically inflict any pain or harm to you even in the worst of your nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 24 June, 2020!


	8. Hypothesize and Test

**Wednesday, April 17, 850 at 22:21**

\----------------------------------------------------------  
  


_ Knock knock. _

You squinted your eyes tightly shut in your seat, the slight disturbance soon being forgotten about after you had heard it. Relaxing your once tensed muscles, you started to drift off once more, the pencil that lay in your lax hand shifting a bit as you faded in and out of reality, ‘ _ I probably just knocked something off of my nightstand. _ ’ you reasoned in your fatigued state. You were quite the one to wriggle around at times, so it only made sense that during your slumber you had managed to bump into said nightstand while tossing around, consequentially knocking something off.

_ Knock knock. _

‘ _ Wait, why am I sitting up in bed…?  _ ’ you asked yourself as you heard the echo knock off of the walls in your bedroom and to your head where it seemed to amplify due to your groggy state. Prying your eyelids open, you could see the warm light a candle next to your face produced, and it was only then that you became aware of the extra warmth you could feel it give off on your cheek. It was at that moment you also realized how cold the rest of your body was, and you fought off a shiver as you placed your hands on the surface you were on and pushed yourself to sit up straight against the back of a chair. Everywhere else around you it was dark, but there was still enough light given from the candle and the moon -the soft moonlight beams coming from your window behind you- for you to make out the room you were in, ‘ _ I’m in my office?  _ ’

_ Knock knock. _

You could barely see the cozy, dim yellow light under the door that led to your office, as well as two darkened out patches that drove you to the conclusion that someone was at the door. Wobbling the tiniest bit, because your legs were asleep from the position you had been sitting in, you stood on your own two feet and looked down at your desk that was right in front of you, eyes drifting across your desk for a brief second until they came in contact with the journal you had been writing in until you fell asleep. Then it all came back to you, ‘ _ The Walls! I was supposed to come up with questions for Hanji and I to go over with!  _ ’ Reading the words that you had written, you could tell that you hadn’t gotten too far before you had dozed off, ‘ _ What does that say, “Do bigger titans move”...? This isn’t enough to take back to Hanji!  _ ’

**_Knock knock._ **

Before you could even start to move to the door that someone was hitting their knuckles against, the knob turned and the person entered. Hanji came bursting through, the light from the hallway welcoming itself into the room behind her and shattering around her sides on the ground, a small frantic look -that had it’s mix of panic well warped in- etched onto her face, and you watched her visibly relax a little when her eyes landed on you through the dark, “(Y/N), what in the world were yo-... Were you sleeping?” You could feel your cheeks redden out of embarrassment, and you subconsciously went to try and rub the sleepiness out of your eyes, patting your unkempt hair afterwards to attempt and make it look like you hadn’t been as she shut the door. Her words at first had been serious, or at least not as jovial and teasing as the rest of her sentence when she had asked if you were sleeping before she had knocked on the door, and a smile was found decorating her face when you looked up at the female, “I… Maybe. Look Hanji, I’m really sorry about falling asleep on you, I honestly didn’t mean to butwhenIhadstartedwritingdownquestionsforustogoover,thebestoftodaygottomeandI’msososoverysorry!” Your words picked up about halfway through your sentence, a habit you had since you were little, the words always flowing out too fast from your mouth when you felt guilty or nervous.

The soldier ahead of you was well acquainted with the sped up speech, as she understood your sentence without a hitch, and whether it was from all the times you had used it on her previously or from the fact that she herself used it every now and then, you weren’t sure. All you knew was that you were grateful when she replied to your semi coherent blurb, “Don’t worry about it, it’s not like you do this all the time,” she reassured, but then continued with a pointed look, “Just try not to do it again, I was starting to get worried about you after about two and a half hours with you being the only person who is as enthusiastic about titan testing as I am.” You slightly laughed as she made her way over to you, “Wow, I’m so glad I mean so much to you.” you spoke, the sarcasm that was woven into the words nearly tangible, “Okok, so maybe you’re my best friend too,” she said, clearly joking about what she had said before.

“How far did you get before you fell asleep anyways?”

You cringed, “Do you really wanna know?”

“Well I did, but given what you just said I’m not so sure anymore.” she paused for a minute, genuinely pondering over your rhetorical question, “Eh, it can’t be  _ that  _ bad, hit me with it.”

Rolling your eyes, you pretended to clear your throat, adding to the suspense you were trying to build, “‘Do bigger titans move.’” She looked at you expectantly for a moment after you finished, and with a chuckle she admitted, “Alright, maybe it  _ can  _ be that bad.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, “I didn’t exactly get too far.”

“I guess we’ll just have to start from scratch then, huh?”

You looked up at her guiltily, “You don’t have to y’know, not only is it my job to come up with the questions, but you must be tired after all that’s happened today.”

Hanji shook her head, “Are you kidding me? Since when was I ever too tired to do something relating to the titans?” Snorting a little, you realized her words suggested the truth, “Fine, but when you get too tired feel free to leave at any time,” you said with a gesture of your left hand to the door, “Do you wanna at least sit down?” you asked, glancing at the chair that was still pushed out behind the desk. Hanji shook her head, and it didn’t come as a surprise to you that she wanted to stand, having once admitting to you that it helped her think -she had mentioned something about increased blood flow to the brain, and you yourself started forcing yourself to stand every once in a while to try and get your work done quicker- you figured that was why she wanted to stand right now. Plopping yourself down in the chair once more, you scooted it in as you sensed the maroon haired girl’s presence to your left side, Hanji placing her palms on the worn-from-the-years edge of your desk and leaned her body a bit so she could see the nearly empty journal that was before the both of you. “Let’s start by looking at Albert and Chicacchironi’s notes first.” she offered, and you only nodded your head without a word, also finding it the best place to start as you opened up to the pages.

Almost no time had passed when you brought your eyes up from the page that held Albert’s measurements and locked them with Hanji’s, “Here, what about something with their regeneration time?”

Hanji quirked her eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“I know that the times vary greatly no matter how long or short the appendage is, but maybe there is a general rule to it. For instance, maybe it always takes Albert longer to regenerate parts of his body than Chicacchironi does. Even if it is only by a little, if it is consistent, it would at least prove some sort of normality in the titan’s regeneration time.”

She stared out for a second, eyes trained on the journal that lay on the desk, when she spoke up once again, “I think it’s worth trying out. Maybe it’ll lead to more questions, and also give plausibility to other traits of the titans being consistent if it’s true.” You smiled as you didn’t waste any time flipping back over to where you had started to write down the first question, using an eraser to erase the uncompleted sentence and replacing it with your new one. Stopping short about half way, you recognized a problem with your experiment idea, ‘ _ How are we going to manage to test this one out? With how securely the titans are held down, there is no way we would be able to cut off part of a limb. Not to mention that Moblit will throw a fit at the idea of a loose titan arm once it regenerates. Erwin probably wouldn’t be that happiest camper either, would he? _ ’

You verbally presented your problem to Hanji when she asked, “What’s wrong?”

“How are we gonna test this? We can’t exactly do anything with them all tied down like this, not to mention  _ certain people _ probably wouldn’t be happy with it.”

Hanji sent you a mischievous smile, one that you have only known to usually insinuate trouble, but given the context, you highly doubted that that was the case, “I never got to tell you, did I?” she asked, and when you replied a simple, “No,” the grin that she donned somehow grew even bigger, “Well I guess I’ll just have to tell you now,” she stood up from her leaning position and rubbed her hands together, and you instantly knew that it had to do with titan testing when she gained that slightly insane look she always did when titans had managed their way into the conversation and she had something, or witnessed something, to tell about them. You pushed yourself back a little in your chair and craned your head up to the 5’7” woman who waited for your full attention, only continuing when she got it, “So you know when I had to leave earlier today with Moblit to go and check something out?”

A nod on your part.

“Well, what we actually went to do was check out this location inside Wall Rose. It’s in a forest and it has this small clearing with an extremely deep pit in it. There aren’t many people nearby, only a few small hunting villages, and with how far away this area is from them, the chances of them stumbling upon it are very low.”

You tried to take in her words and figure why she would want to check out a place like that while you were doing testing things, but then it clicked, “No way! You guys actually found a place for free range experiments?!” A while ago you had been complaining to Hanji that the types of experiments you could conduct were limited, that because of how the titans were always held down, you could never utilise your time with them to the fullest extent. Hanji had mentioned that she would bring the issue up with Erwin, but when you had never heard of anything of it again, you had assumed that Erwin had denied your request and deemed it too risky. But if Hanji was hinting at what you thought she was hinting at, that would mean that Erwin had actually accepted your request and the reason it took so long was because she had to find the perfect place to conduct these experiments; a place where 3DMG gear could easily be used, a place where humans were scarce and a place where the titans could be somewhat contained, so then they wouldn’t get loose and rampage around inside the walls.

“You always were quick when it came to things like these.” Hanji teased as she gave you a smirk. Opting to ignore her comment that implied that you weren’t always sharp minded, you focused on hearing a direct answer; “Hanji, I need you to confirm this, please,” you begged, the excitement evident in your voice. She giggled before she replied, “Yes (Y/N), we do have permission to conduct free range experiments, we leave the early morning of the twenty-sixth.”

You jumped out of your chair -it flew back and hit the wall, but not so harshly that you were concerned for its state or the wall’s- and turned to her with a smile that seemed as if it could almost fully light up the dim room the both of you are in, “Yes! This is the best! Just think about all the more work we are going to be able to do! Think about how much more we will be able to help humanity by doing these experiments!!” Turning back to your desk for only a second, you finished scribbling down the latter half of your question on the parchment before you jumped once more, the utter happiness and excitement flowing out through your actions. Hanji watched you amused, and you could only assume that she had her fangirling moment while actually at the place. For a brief moment you couldn’t help but feel bad for Moblit, ‘ _ The poor guy had to deal with an experiment and an excited Hanji all in one day. Not to say that Hanji isn’t excited when doing experiments, she’s just more… focused. _ ’

“Oh, wait! If we can do free range experiments, what do you think about seeing if they will attack things that just look like humans?”

“Like a human dummy?”

“Yeah! If they attack it, it suggests that they attack more based on their vision, but if they don’t, it means that they use their sense of smell too, right?”

“I see where you're coming from, why not? Write it down.” Hanji said with a turn of her lips, content with how easily things were going and how much more the both of you were going to be able to learn. ‘ _ It’s strange really, _ ’ you thought as you brushed the lead against the white paper, ‘ _ I mean, the titans don’t gain anything from eating us, so why bother? They end up just spitting us out once they’ve consumed too much anyways. There aren’t any other organisms that don’t eat other things and live for long too, well, save for hibernating animals like bears and life forms like plants. _ ’

You lifted up the pencil off the paper and dropped it next to the journal, watching as it bounced slightly and finally settled flush against the journal’s side, when suddenly your eyes widened and you let out a small gasp, ‘ _ No, it can’t be… Titans don’t get their energy from the sun like plants do, do they? _ ’ Feeling yourself become sick at the possible realization that seemed all too obvious, you put your hands to your mouth, as if keeping the words inside your head would debunk any chances of the notion being true. “What is it?” Hanji was pulled out of her own titan filled thoughts as her chocolate eyes flashed mostly curiosity -complete with a ghostly shade of concern that was overlooked by you- as she awaited you to tell her what had gotten you so startled, “I know this sounds crazy, but… you don’t think that the titans get their energy from the sun, do you?” Taking a moment for herself, you could almost see the gears turning in her head as she pondered over the plausibility of your proposal. “That sounds a little far fetched, don’t you think? Titans are gigantic creatures, ones that theoretically take up immense amounts of energy to simply breathe. I’m not so sure if-”

“No, wait! Think about it, please!” you interrupted and pleaded with her, and continued when you noticed you had her full attention, “It’s not as far fetched as you think… They clearly don’t get their energy from food, otherwise at least most of them would have starved given they would resort to cannibalism, and even then they don’t seem like they’re just skin and bones nor do they show aggression towards each other. And just look at plants, they’re thriving despite their lack of intake, save for water.”

“So you’re suggesting that titans take after plants somehow?”

“Yes, I am.” you said, confidence leaking out of your voice as you tried to convince the brunette of it’s probability, “There are already real life examples of organisms taking their energy from the sun, so is it really that outrageous to say that titans do it as well?”

“You have to remember that plants don’t exactly move, (Y/N). They don’t require nearly as much energy as titans do, and even then if titans did need that little energy, how do they still function regularly while deep in a forest?” Hanji hinted doubt at your idea, and you had to admit, the evidence of the titans still running around while in a shaded forest seemed like some pretty damning evidence. You gave a small sigh, “I’m not completely sure how they would be able to stay in the shade for that long, I have to agree, but please Hanji. You have to at least think that the idea is too convenient to not at least test on. Just one day, one experiment. That’s all I’m asking for, because if this is true, it’ll probably be one of the biggest steps forward humanity has made so far.”

She brought a hand up to her muddy hair, resting it on the back of her head as she battled in her head if it was wise to use precious time on something so outlandish, “I… Ok, one test.” she allowed. Hanji just couldn’t bring herself to shoot your idea down completely when she herself had begged Erwin to let her get titans to test on, it would make her too much of a hypocrite that she couldn’t make herself say no to you. Your eyes lit up at her allowance, and you immediately started writing it down, “Thank you!” you said before quickly adding, “If it does end up being true, will we be able to continue experimentation on it?”

“Of course. If it does end up being true, we will have to conduct so many more experiments on the matter.” A silence made itself present as it passed around the both of you, the only sound that could be heard was the scribbling of your pencil, and the occasional footstep or two passing in the hallway, murmured voices sometimes following. “We’ll have to get some sort of covers, or something tent-like to test it. I’ll ask Moblit to try and find something like it tomorrow, and as soon as he can find it, we’ll test on it. After all, if it  _ is _ true, it will take top priority to gather as much data as possible before we move to free range tests.”

Hanji looked out the window, seeing the moon that was casting itself into the room hanging in the sky, the multiple white dots that accompany it only adding to its overall shine, “He might actually still be up now, I should probably run over to his room and see if he’s still up.” You nodded your head, hearing the clicks Hanji’s boots made as she walked over to the door that led to the hallway, the pale light casting on her and creating a shine on her glasses when she turned to you, “Oh, one more thing. Chicacchironi’s name is spelled C H I C A C C H I R O N I, not with three Cs and a Y.” she teased as she recalled how you had spelled the name on the paper.

“Goodnight Hanji.” you said through a strained sigh, listening to her laugh at your annoyance as she wandered off to Moblit’s room to inform him of his duty the next day. As soon as she left however, your smile bounced back and was brighter than before, ‘ _ I don’t think anything can dampen my mood after Hanji allowing me to test that. I truly believe we might have just found how the titans fuel themselves. _ ’  
  
  


**Thursday, April 18, 850 at 9:29**

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“No, you need to move it a little more to the left!” Hanji shouted from her place on the ground. You were currently hanging above the air, the only thing that kept you from falling to a painful demise being your wires that were attached to a wooden post that had been installed between Albert and Chicacchironi, to have this whole ordeal go easier. It was a wide pole, and it had a straight pole on top of it that ended above both titans respectively. Moblit had somehow managed to find it and two tent-like curtains that were able to cover each titan, one being bigger than the other one for obvious reasons, ‘ _ Poor Chicacchironi would be drowning in the fabric if they were the same size. _ ’ Hanji and you were trying to place the last curtain above Chicacchironi, which led you to your current situation with Hanji to move the curtain that was hanging off of the center post. Slightly rustling the fabric that was attached to the pole, you moved it in the direction that Hanji had told you to, looking down yourself at the way the curtain was covering the titans pale flesh. “That any better?!” you yelled back at Hanji, trying to make it easier for her to hear you from above, ‘ _ She is pretty far back, after all, it isn’t exactly easy to see if it needs to be moved from up close. _ ’

“Yeah, looks good to me!” she communicated with a smile and a thumbs up, looking up at you as you nodded your head to let her know you had heard her. Swinging down from the post, you made sure to steer clear from the front of Chicacchironi’s face as you went by and landed a safe distance in front of it. You walked up to her as you asked, “The next step is waiting inside the curtains with them to see if they fall asleep or anything, right?”

“Yup,” Hanji said as she strode over to where you were, meeting you in the middle, “I’ll go with Albert and you stay with Chicacchironi?” she returned a question as the both of you started heading over to where you just were, “Sure!” You couldn’t help but feel some form of excitement, adrenaline pumping through your veins at the thought of making a breakthrough, ‘ _I pray to whatever god there may or may not be, please let this work. It will help us rid of these horrid beasts._ ” Looking down at the ground right before the edge of the curtain, you spotted a lantern that had a flame swaying from side to side, even more so at the disturbance when you picked it up. You lifted the end of the curtain up to the height of your hips and gave Hanji a glance, seeing that she herself was looking at you and silently asking if you were ready. Nodding your head, you tore your eyes away from the woman and snuck inside, sticking to the edge of the curtain and placing the light in between you and Chicacchironi’s legs, “You ready buddy?” you asked, not exactly expecting a response but still asking the question nonetheless, “Because we’ve got a good while of waiting ahead of us.”  
  
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As it turned out, that ‘good while of waiting’ you had in front of you was only approximately an hour and a half. Throughout that time, you found yourself mentally taking note of everything the titan did; from the far and few times that it opted to take a gander at the dark curtain, to the amount of times it had sighed. You had even counted the seconds between each blink it gave, noticing that the longer the both of you waited, the longer its eyes were shut and the shorter the time between each blink, ‘ _ There’s nothing better to do right now anyways. _ ’ When Chicacchironi finally closed its eyes and didn’t open them again, it's only movement being its chest from every soft and warm breath it took, you had to focus all of your attention on not shouting and somehow disturbing the only proof of your hypothesis being true. Not even bothering to pick up your lantern and choosing to leave it in there, you quietly and carefully made your way out of the tent before your eyes landed on Moblit, the man waiting over both tents to make sure nothing was going wrong from outside of them.

Giving you a quizzical look, he asked, “Is something wrong?” You simply ran up to him and tackled him in a hug, being too happy to do anything else, laughing as you felt him stumble a little and let out a confused grunt. He wrapped his arms around you, knowing that this was the only way to keep you from bouncing off the walls any further, “No Moblit, nothing is wrong!” you whisper shouted, “Chicacchironi fell asleep! He’s sleeping in the tent right now!” Pulling away, you grabbed onto his hand and dragged him to the tent, missing the way the soldiers on guard were attentively watching, Nifa herself leaning forwards from the line and trying to catch a glimpse inside when Moblit peeked his head through the curtain, only jumping back into line when Harold politely pointed her actions out to her.

When Moblit pulled out of the tent, his eyes were slightly widened in surprise, and he opened his mouth once or twice without speaking until his words found the mocha haired soldier, “We should probably inform Hanji.” Not wasting anytime, you practically skipped over to the other tent that housed Albert and Hanji, peeping your head in and startling the hell out of her. Letting out a gasp, she put a hand to her chest before querying why you were in there. Simply gesturing your hand in a motion that suggested for her to follow you, you held the curtain up as she started to get up and made her way out. “Hanji, go look in that tent!” you whisper shouted once more, watching as the light bulb seemed to click in her head and she rushed over to where Chicacchironi was. After she had taken a look inside, she emerged from it with an ecstatic smile, waving her hands in excitement at the discovery that had just been made, “This is great!” she quietly yelled, “They do use sunlight as their source of energy!”

“That means that we do continue to look into this, right?!” you asked for confirmation, choosing to be cautious and not trust your memory.

“Yup!”

Doing a little happy dance, you reached your arms out and pulled Hanji into a hug, giving her the same treatment that you had given Moblit not too long ago. Like Moblit, she returned the hug, and you slightly pulled back so you could see her face as you spoke, “That’s good, because I’ve had this one idea that we can now test on, ‘Will they still fall asleep if only their heads are covered?’” Maroon eyes glancing down at you, she gently broke the hug by unraveling her arms as she agreed with you, “That will most definitely solidify the idea that their energy comes from sunlight,” she said, “because as long as they stay up while their heads are covered, there is no other explanation for that behaviour other than them getting their sunlight from the sun. After all, the thought before was that they got sleepy because it was dark out and that made them tired. But first, we should probably see if they wake up at any point before they are reintroduced to sunlight, dontcha think?”

Mulling it over in your head for a minute, you came to the conclusion that this was probably the best course of action, ‘ _ If they wake up here, it will also prove the theory wrong, so I guess it makes it all the more necessary to wait it out. _ ’

“Yeah, that’s probably for the best,” you nodded, looking back at the two tents that were parallel to each other, “Do you wanna stay with Albert, or do you want to wait things out with Chicacchironi?”

“I might as well stick with Albert,” she said, “Remember to take notes, we might be in there for quite the while if your theory is correct.”

Moblit, who was standing not too far from the both of you and listening to you converse, joined into the conversation, “I’ll wait with you guys and check in every now and then, if one of you needs anything, don’t hesitate to let me know by sticking your head out of the tent or by some other way.” You smiled appreciatively at the man, “Thank you Moblit!”

“Not a problem,” he replied with a smile of his own, “Just please try to make sure that you don’t get too close to them even if they are sleeping. You never know if they could wake up at any second.” he advised, giving a sharp look to Hanji, who was guiltily scratching the back of her neck, “You don’t have to worry about it,” she said, “I hadn’t even thought of that. Definitely not…”

You swore you could almost see a vein pop on Moblit’s forehead, “Just be careful, will you?”

“Of course! Now c’mon (Y/N)!” she exclaimed, and once the both of you had passed Moblit and had your backs turned to him, Hanji brought her hand in front of her to show you that her fingers had been crossed. With a giggle of your own, you silently mouthed her name as a nonverbal scolding, playfully pointing your finger at her in an apprehensive manner. The both of you were now at your respective tents, and before you plunged yourself into the almost complete darkness, you noticed Hanji giving you a pretend clueless shrug and a jovial wink, one that made you try your hardest to stifle a laugh that was doing its best to work its way out of your throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 1 July, 2020!


	9. Sleep Entries

**Saturday, April 20, 850 at 23:49**

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_ Day 1, Entry 1 (April 18, 850; 9:51) _

_ Ok! So this is the start of what I’m going to call the “sleep entries” because, well, that’s what they are. Hanji Zoë and I, (Y/N) (L/N), decided to test and see how long Albert and Chicacchironi can fall and stay asleep while recording anything they do as well in the meantime. The following until mentioned are Chicacchironi’s entries. _

_ Day 1, Entry 2 (April 18, 850; 14:21) _

_ Chicacchironi just shifted his head a little to his left, not quickly, but rather slowly, like he was drooping his head to the left and the only way I could tell that he actually was was for me to keep my eyes on where he has just been, and waiting to see if he moved out of my view to tell if he moved or not. It was probably about only 4 centimeters given how big he is, but I still felt it enough to be noteworthy. _

_ Day 1, Entry 3 (April 18, 850; 19:59) _

_ Night 1 is approaching and nothing that extraordinary has happened yet (besides from the head thing I mentioned). _

_ Day 2, Entry 4 (April 19, 850; 11:07) _

_ It has fully passed a day since we began observing them, and overall, Chicacchironi hasn’t done much, even when the curtain was opened a little when Moblit comes in to check up on me. Next time he comes by I’ll have to ask him how Albert is doing with Hanji, I keep forgetting. _

_ Day 2, Entry 5 (April 19, 850; 13:38) _

_ He just gave a tiny sigh. It was so quiet that I almost missed it, but because of how quiet it is, save for the occasional mumbling of Moblit when he comes by and my pencil on this very paper, I was able to hear it. I will try and listen carefully for anything else like it, and see if there is some sort of pattern. _

_ Day 3, Entry 6 (April 20, 850; 00:41) _

_ I forgot to mention previously, but during the times when Moblit brought in food for me (surprisingly not cold by the time I got it, kudos to him), Chicacchironi didn’t seem to react in any way to it. He didn’t smell, or move or anything. I would have thought that since it was warm and the smell was definitely noticeable, maybe it would have garnered some sort of reaction, but to no avail he remained motionless. Or maybe the smell was faint and I was just really hungry, I’m not sure. Either way, things are still the same, he didn’t move and I’m starting to struggle to stay awake. _

_ Day 3, Entry 7 (April 20, 850; 15:46) _

_ Chicacchironi has done nothing, his breathing is consistent, his eyes are staying shut and his body is seemingly unconscious. My eyelids feel like sandbags and this dark environment isn’t helping. My lantern is starting to not burn as brightly as before, and while it’s lasted a long time now without any refueling, I still think it’s running low. Next time Moblit comes in, I’ll have to ask him for some more oil. _

You skimmed your eyes tiredly across the pages, trying to keep yourself busy and awake as the hours were starting to take its toll on you. Had you been able to at least get in a three to four hour nap every once in a while, you would have been feeling much more energized as the work you typically procrastinated on -despite your love for it- made you stay up later than you liked. You rolled the pencil in between your hands, watching as it slid from left and right before eventually settling in the crevice in the middle of your hands. From your position laying on the cold, hard stone ground that you could feel dig into your elbows, the beast you were sent on watch duty for remained just as motionless as it had been for more than three days in front of you, a comfortable five meters laying between the distance. The journal that you had been writing in was opened to a mostly blank page, ready to write down any movements that Chicacchironi might try to make, when suddenly the pages were illuminated by a brighter, yet still soft, light. Darting your eyes to the lantern that still shone dully to your left, it took you a moment to realize that the light wasn’t coming from it, but rather from behind you.

“(Y/N), step out for a second.” the worn voice of Hanji seemed to bounce around in your head for a bit, the delay coming from your lack of sleep, and you could tell as you looked up at her that she was feeling fatigued like you were. Moving your aching body, you silently forced yourself to stand up, pocketing the pencil that had been in your hands before pushing your hands on your knees. You took a glance to the sleeping monster, the serene state it was in slightly unnerving you -how could such a malicious beast ever look so calm?- as you walked over to where Hanji was still holding the fabric back for you to exit out of. The night sky shone ever so peacefully, the soft and natural lighting blanketing the land as far as you could see, even if the moon didn’t join the stars that would have taken your breath away should you have been paying attention, “What’s up Hanji?” you said your words slowly, and your (E/C) eyes met her burgundy ones as she spoke, “I think we should end testing early.”

The reflective moonlight made her goggles glow a little, something you subconsciously took note of as you became the tiniest bit more awake, having to think and speak helping you do so, “I agree, nothing much happened with Chicacchironi. Is it the same with Albert?”

“Yeah, nothing much except for an occasional eyelid twitch and some irregular breathing. That’s not my concern though, we don’t know what all this lack of sunlight, as it really does seem to be their primary source of energy, is doing to their bodies. If it really is their energy source, their bodies are probably in some sort of starvation mode” Hanji gave you a tired grin, one that showed her contentment with the results and the effect her lack of sleep had on her, “We should probably take the covers off of them, huh?” you said as your eyeballs lazily swept themselves over to the material, “How are we gonna do that though?” You asked your question as Hanji was yawning, and it took her a moment to recover before she could finally respond to your question, “Well, the easy route is to just pull it over their bodies and let it hang against their sides, right? Let’s just do that for now, because tomorrow I want to time how long it takes for them to fall asleep.” You nodded your head as you took in her words, making your way over to Chicacchironi’s tent-like cover as you noticed her go over to Albert’s. With your fingers grasping against the cool fabric, you tugged it towards you, watching as the very top where the fabric hung pulled towards you and therefore redirecting all the rest of the material in your direction. Given as Chicacchironi was a smaller titan, only being a three meter titan that was sitting down, it didn’t take long for you to uncover him and reintroduce the beast to the crisp night air.

You looked over to Hanji, and seeing that she was struggling a little, you giggled slightly as you heard a voice from across the area the two of you were in. It only just came to you that other soldiers were still present as Moblit commanded the ones that remained on guard to return to the barracks for the night, “All of you are dismissed, Section Commander Hanji, Captain (Y/N) and I have got this from here on out.” He paused, his warm brown eyes falling over the soldiers before his gaze landed on one who he stopped from leaving with the others, “Keiji, please inform Harold that he and his group will be going on guard before we leave.” Said soldier showed he had heard him with a nod of his head, and joined in with the footfalls of the other soldiers, who were quietly mumbling among themselves about how tired they were. A lick of jealousy went through you -knowing that the soldiers had been through shifts and had been able to at least go to sleep for the past few days- as their hushed voices faded out while they left through the archway that would lead them to their comfortable beds.

Without saying a word, you grabbed part of the cover next to Hanji, nodding your head to the appreciative glance she gave you before she turned her attention to the caramel headed male who had just spoken, “Moblit,” she said in a tone that was louder than before, as such to make sure he could hear her, “Your orders include you as well, you’ve been up longer than them and you need your rest. (Y/N) and I will finish up and wait until the others come.” You couldn’t help but internally groan at the thought of having to stay for much longer, but in the end you decided that it wouldn’t be fair to make Hanji wait all by herself when it was not only your idea to test this in the first place, but also your duty given your position.

With a harsher tug on your part, and leaning a small bit to your side to get a better angle, you and Hanji managed to pull the rest of the curtain over Albert, and it surprised you that the thick fabric didn’t disturb the titan who was in a deep slumber as it drifted across it. The hesitation in Moblit’s voice was almost tangible as he responded, “Are you sure? I really don’t mind staying longer with you guys.”

You gave him a gentle smile as you released your hold on the curtain, “We’ve got this, I promise I’ll keep Hanji away from Albert and Chicacchironi.”

“Y’know,” Moblit said as he stifled a yawn, “Your words would hold more weight if I didn’t think that you’d do something to them yourself.”

Hanji chuckled, “We won’t do anything, we’re too tired to anyways,” she said as she waved her hand to dismiss his words, one hand going to rest on her hip afterwards, “And believe it or not, we’re not that naïve to think that nothing could possibly go wrong, even if they are sleeping.”

It took him a second, but he finally responded after pondering over her words and realizing that, for the most part, she seemed to hold reason in her words, “Fine, I’ll go to sleep. But if I hear otherwise…”

“I swear to the Walls you won’t hear anything, because nothing will happen. If I die tonight trying to find something out about the titans tonight then I won’t be able to bring more knowledge to light about them at a later date.” Hanji countered, trying to convince the mature and wise soldier that she was right.

You joined in, “Besides, I don’t wanna be the only person who died to a titan  _ inside _ the safety of the Walls.”

Giving a small snort to your comment, Moblit simply shook his head, “Ok, ok, I’m going now.” he flashed his eyes to you, then Hanji, “Good night guys, and for your sakes, please don’t stay up too much later.” Hanji didn’t waste any time to reassure him, “We won’t, goodnight Moblit.” Joining in from her side as he was already halfway to the archway, you gave him a wave that he wouldn’t see, “Goodnight.”

With Moblit now gone, you realized how eerily quiet all around you it was as you and Hanji made your way further away from Albert and more in the middle of the two titans, but more back, “You can feel free to leave too, (Y/N),” Hanji said as she plopped herself onto the hard ground, sitting with her legs criss crossed comfortably, “They shouldn’t be much longer.”

Shaking your head, you disagreed as you sat down close, but not too close, by her, “It doesn’t matter then if it’s not much longer.” You pulled your knees to your chest as she let out a chuckle, seemingly finding some form of amusement or irony in your statement, “I guess you're not wrong there.” A small minute passed by where the breeze was the prominent sound that rang across the testing area, and placing your head on your knees, you closed your eyes for a few seconds of bliss as you felt the pressure behind your eyes lessen, starting to be lulled into a very peaceful sleep until Hanji spoke up, “Did Chicacchironi do anything?”

You blinked your eyes, “No, not really to be honest. Only a sigh and his head sank a little.”

“Could I see your journal by chance? Just to compare the two in more detail.”

“Of course,” you said as you unraveled your hands from around your knees, bringing one of them up to the pocket that you always kept your field journal, the one you took notes in most of the time, in. Letting out a huff as you remembered leaving it inside the tent, you shot a glare over to where it still laid, being easily visible due to the lantern that lit it up more than the moon’s natural light would have. “Ugh, I left it over there,” you groaned as you brought your hand up to point at the notebook on the floor.

“Don’t worry about it then,” Hanji said as she opted to lay on her back, “I’ll just pick it up when I go to leave.”

You hummed in acknowledgement as you contemplated copying her action, ‘ _ Maybe if I lay down it’ll make me feel less tired or something. Three days seems to be my limit, I wasn’t even doing anything but sitting in there all day and I still became worn out. _ ’ Before you could really think it over however, footsteps could be heard getting closer, and before you knew it the multiple pairs of boots that clicked against the stone made its way into the testing area, “Section Commander, Keiji told me you wanted us to watch over the titans for the night?”

The chin length, mud-like hair of Harold came into your view as his voice echoed into the space, and you heard Hanji fabricate her own reply while still on the floor, choosing not to move at all, “Yeah, something like that Harold. Who are the other soldiers in your group from again?”

It didn’t take him long to answer her question, “Some of them are from Section Commander Miche, but the majority are from Section Commander Dita.”

“And no one else from my squad is in your group except for you, right? I can’t remember right now.”

The sympathy that laced his voice was ever so apparent, the kind soldier either seeing the bags that rested under her eyes, or being able to tell by the grogginess that weighed heavy in the words she spoke that she was tired. Despite her love for titans, she was still human, “No, Section Commander Hanji.”

Hanji slowly sat her way up, then using her two arms to hold herself up as she leaned back on them, head facing the stars that the cloud-free night provided, “Good. You guys get into formation. (Y/N), please head back now, I myself will be leaving in a second after working up the energy to go pick up your journal.” her words were more curt and to the point like they always were when she was worn out. With you being so exhausted, and with how she was asking you to leave, you decided that maybe it was best to listen to her, ‘ _ After all, Harold and the other soldiers are there, surely they wouldn’t let her do anything potentially dangerous even if she wanted too, _ ’ you looked down at her once you stood up, ‘ _ Not that I honestly think she would actually try and do something now anyways. _ ’

“Good night Hanji”

“Same to you, (Y/N).”

\----------------------------------------------------------

It was only a few more steps, and then you would finally reach your room where you could drift away into a blissful and serene sleep. You reached your left hand out for your door knob as your eyes glanced at the plaque that was attached to the wooden barrier that separated the hallway from your room. The lettering that was engraved in it always made you look twice, as you could never fully believe that you not only had your own room, but that you also had a plaque with  _ (Y/N) (L/N), Captain _ on your door for all to see. The only thing that distracted you from continuing to open the door was the familiar voice of a friend, a friend that you hadn’t recalled seeing in the longest time, “(Y/N), is that you?” Petra whispered from the other end of the hallway, “Petra?” you returned the favour with your own shock, and it was safe to say that it didn’t take much time for the strawberry blonde to make her way over to you at your door, “What happened to you?!”

“What do you mean?”

“You look as if you haven’t seen the sun for days, not to mention that it looks like someone took a pen and marked underneath your eyes. Has the paperwork been really bad recently or something?” she inquired.

“Oh,” you nervously giggled, “No, not paperwork. Just, uh, something else… But that’s not important, what's been up with you and Squad Levi?” you said as you changed the topic.

Petra shot you a disapproving glare, one akin to a mother’s, clearly knowing that you were trying to turn the subject over to her, but seemingly not bothering to push matters as she answered your question regardless, “Just training as usual really. Gunther and Eld are still as thick as thieves, and Corporal Levi has been just as strict and blunt as ever. Oluo however…”

“What about him?” you asked as she hinted something about the sandy blonde had changed, “Don’t tell me he’s been acting worse.”

She gave you a small smile, one that hinted to you that the nineteen year old was still copying Levi every chance he got, “He’s started calling others brats now, (Y/N). At times it’s kinda funny, but after a while it gets kind of tiring. I miss the old Oluo, y’know?”

“Well, I certainly miss all of you, but I’m sure you miss the old Oluo for different reasons than I would.”

She played with her hands a little, and despite the fact that Petra’s cheeks were dusted in a light pink, she tried to play the ignorance card, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Last time you had talked to the girl with orange hair in a bob, she had the, in her words, “tiniest crush” on the overconfident soldier you also called a friend. She had told you that she wasn’t exactly sure when it happened, but one day she realized that she liked him, and that was that, ‘ _ I saw it from a mile away, from the way they were always playfully bickering with each other, to the way that they always had each other's backs, the way they looked at each other. Maybe the fact that they were seeing each other from day to day had something to do with how she fell for him as well, who knows. _ ’

“Oh yeah, sure.” you sarcastically said with the slight roll of your eyes, not bothering to argue with her any further. Due to the type of response you gave, she seemed to fire up a little more, taking a second before she thought of something she could fire back at you, “Well what about you and Section Commander Hanji?” she said with a small smirk.

“What about her?” you queried curiously, honestly confused as to what point she was trying to make. “Oh c’mon, you’re telling me that you don’t like her more than just a friend? The both of you are practically inseparable!”

You pondered over her words for a second, truly having to take a moment to figure out if you like the crazy brunette like Petra was saying, ‘ _ I mean, I do like her, she’s a great friend. I would probably even say love her after the years that I’ve known her. But romantically? I don’t think so.’ _ Petra watched your face for any reaction as you spoke, “Nah, I mean, yeah we hang out a lot, but I don’t see her that way. Not only that, but I don’t even know if she likes girls.” Disappointment grew on her face, “Awwww…, the two of you seem like you’d make a great pair, that’s all I’m going to say.” Giving a soft chuckle to her, you looked at her before continuing, “As much as I’d honestly love continuing to talk with you, I haven’t slept in a while and I’m not sure how much time I have until I’m needed again.” An apologetic look swept across her features, “Of course, I understand completely. Have a good night, (Y/N).” This time you opened your door, and took a step inside of the frame, entering the room where you could feel a distinct drop in temperature. A quick glance behind you told you that you had left your window open for the past three days, ‘ _ Great. _ ’

“You too Petra.”

You had started to close the door when you noticed the woman starting to make her way down the hallway and to her own bed, when all the sudden she jerked herself back over to you for a second, “Wait!”

“Huh?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you, on behalf of the rest of the Special Operations Squad and I, do you think that you’ll be able to join us for dinner tomorrow?”

You hesitated for a moment, ‘ _ Well, I can’t guarantee that I’ll even have time to sit down for dinner, but I have to admit, I’d love to join them again, even if only for a little bit. _ ’

“I can’t say for sure that I’ll be able to join you tomorrow per se, but what I  _ can  _ do is give you my word that I’ll try my best to stop by sometime soon.”

Petra smiled up at you, flashing you her infamous grin that could probably cheer the grumpiest of people up, “That’s good enough for me. I’ll tell the rest of the squad what you said,” she said as she started to back up, “Oh, and just one more thing (Y/N).”

Glancing your eyes up at her, you quirked a brow, wondering what more there was to say, “Everyone misses you, so please don’t try to forget about us.” Guilt wracked through your body as she said her words, the realization of how terrible of a friend you had been sticking to the forefront of your mind. With a chuckle you promised her, “I don’t think I could forget about my family away from home if I tried.”

Her face brightened, and once more she began to head off, “Good night.”

“Goodnight” you replied as you snuck into your room, closing the door that you now leaned your back against and letting out a sigh, ‘ _ Anything can happen at any moment, I should spend less of my free time getting ahead on paperwork and more time with my friends. _ ’ you thought, before the other side of you countered with yourself, ‘ _ But maybe if I work hard enough, Hanji and I can stop the titans and then my old squad and I will have as much free time as we want to spend with each other. _ ’ A dreamy look crossed your face before you let out an annoyed -yet quiet, as you didn’t want to disrupt the potential slumber of anyone near you- groan as you realized, to your chagrin, that there was a neat stack of paperwork on your desk, somehow already there from the experiment you had just completed and the one that had immediately preceded it, “Or maybe I should get that done first so I can truly get a goodnight’s rest…” To your utter dismay, that’s what you ended up doing after you shut your ajar window, shivering slightly as you took a seat at your desk and feeling the coolness of the wood the chair and desk offered.

Picking up the top piece of paper, your eyes scanned over the stiff page, ‘ _ Experiment Report #287 _ ’ read at the top, and without fully thinking about it, you mindlessly leaned over your desk and started to fill out what you needed too. It would be another good two and a half hours before you would be getting any sleep that morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 8 July, 2020 (My mom's birthday!!!!)
> 
> Also! Next update is gonna be on the 11th before going back to every Wednesday!!!! ^^ Have a good day y'all


	10. Dinner with Squad Levi

**Sunday, April 21, 850 at 16:27**

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You sleepily blinked your eyes, squinting them a few times until they could focus on whatever was before you. Zoning your eyes in front of you, you observed the streaks of sunlight that made its way in from the window behind you, the bright strings of sunlight telling you that you had greatly slept in. You let yourself sink back into your mattress as you rolled on your back with a sigh, enjoying the comforting embrace it supplied as you gave your body a chance to wake up, ' _It's either early morning or late afternoon..._ ' you peeked your eye open a crack and glared at the window, ' _And given the fact that I went to sleep late and I'm not that tired, it's probably late afternoon._ '

After a few moments had passed of you just laying in bed, you let out a groan and sat up in your bed with the covers still laid across your body, ' _Well, on the bright side at least I'm not tired anymore._ ' Your legs dangled over the edge of the bed as you turned towards the wall, placing your feet on the ground and standing up. It was only then that it came to you that you were still in your uniform from yesterday, and a quick look at all the dirt that was sporadically staining your outfit was enough for you to decide a quick shower was in order. Grabbing a fresh and clean uniform and towel, that was exactly what you did.

\----------------------------------------------------------

You smoothed the fabric of your shirt a little, going over the bumps of the belts of your 3DMG harness, ' _I suppose it's better to have the harness ready should something happen and I'm needed on the field. Not only that, but I'm so used to the harness being on at this point that it just feels weird to walk around in my uniform without it.._ ' You stepped out of your bathroom and glanced at your closed bedroom door for a second, going over a mental checklist of what you would need in your head, before mentally facepalming, ' _I need my jacket, duh._ ' A quick glance over to your desk chair confirmed that you had taken it off while doing paperwork last night -after a while the material felt rather confining, and despite the coolness of the room, you decided that shivering every once in a while would only benefit you by keeping you up- and it wasn't much longer later that you found yourself making your way over to it and slipping the tan article of clothing over your arms.

The paperwork you had completed was still stacked nice and neatly on your desk where you left it, and it crossed your mind to bring it to Erwin, but with a quick gander outside at the sun who was going to start to set soon, you came to the conclusion that it was probably dinner time, meaning that Erwin and most of the other soldiers would probably be in the mess hall right now. The sound of your stomach rumbling suddenly consumed the silence that once rang prominent, and you found yourself letting out a small snort at it's perfect timing, ' _I guess I should head over there too, huh? Last time I ate was about a day ago when Moblit brought me dinner, so I suppose eating now wouldn't be a bad thing._ ' The dull click of your boots mixed with the slight squeaks of the old floorboards produced a familiar sound as you made your way over to the door that would lead to the hall, which in turn would lead you to the mess hall. Your door shut behind you with a resounding click as Petra's words echoed in your head, '" _I've been meaning to ask you, on behalf of the rest of the Special Operations Squad and I, do you think that you'll be able to join us for dinner tomorrow?..." Well, I didn't expect it to be so soon, but I should probably take advantage of this moment while I have the chance. Who knows when the next opportunity will be?_ '

You were about halfway to the mess hall when you heard someone behind you, "(Y/N)! Wait!" If her voice didn't give it away that it was Hanji, then the fact that the person only called you by your name -something that really only Erwin, the other section commanders, Levi and the Special Operations Squad did- surely did.

"Hanji? Where are you off to?" you asked as you slowed down and allowed for her to catch up to you, the both of presumably heading in the same direction.

"Mess hall!" she said, an ever so cheery and energetic voice that you would have questioned had it come from anyone else but Hanji. You are in the military after all, things tended to be more serious and heavy than happy and light, not to mention taxing on the body. She looked as if she was about to say something else, but you interrupted her, "You mean that you're actually going to dinner for once? Usually you're too 'preoccupied'."

"As if you're heading over to dinner every day," she casted you an, obviously fake, annoyed glance, one that turned into her usual smile with a slight hint of something that told you she thought she had you retortless, "At least I eat dinner at some point."

"Yeah, ok," you said as you opened the mess hall doors for her, and stepped in right after her, "I just prefer to eat a bigger lunch to hold me over, it's not my fault my internal clock is different."

Hanji barked out a laugh, "Whatever you say," she said before taking a brief pause, "I'm guessing you slept in too, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I didn't mean too, but in the end I still woke up only about half an hour- no, probably closer to an hour ago. You?" you bounced the question back at her.

"I woke up maybe.... five minutes ago?"

You snorted at her response, "I still don't understand how you get ready in such little time", you giggled and took a glance at her knotted ball of maroon hair, "Although that might explain it a little."

"Hey, it's not that bad!"

"Pfft, sure it's not that bad... for a birds nest."

She rolled her eyes playfully as she handed you an empty tray, taking one for herself as well, as the two of you went down the line to get the food that every soldier was allowed, "Sometimes I wonder if you're with me or against me (Y/N)."

"Oh please, as if I'd be on any other side but yours. You test on titans!"

"I was expecting some reasoning more along the lines of ' _You're my bestest friend ever_ ', but I'll take what I can get."

You shook your head and changed the subject, seeing that the current one was at its end, "You wanted to see how long it took for them to fall asleep today, right?" Hanji picked up a cup of water that was at the end of the line, holding her tray of food with one hand and walking back over to the table area of the mess hall. You copied her actions and walked away from where the chefs were bustling about, seemingly cleaning up the trays of the soldiers who had already finished.

"Yup! Seeing as it's not dark yet and we have time to eat properly, do you wanna do it after?"

"That works with me." you replied, already wondering if there was any consistency with their sleep schedules to begin with, ' _After all, nothing else with them seems to really have any consistency, but unless they can store energy to function at night when the sun's down, they probably will fall asleep at a somewhat consistent amount of time once the sun goes down._ '

"Ok great! Let's go to our table then and tell Erwin about how the experiments went yesterday. You haven't reported the last two, have you?"

"No I haven't, but..." you hesitated, letting silence fill the void in between you as you contemplated how you would handle this, ' _It's not like I promised Petra that I'd be able to go eat with them today, but I'll still feel bad for not doing so. And I suppose it's not like I'm necessarily needed to report to Erwin how the experiment went during a meal, I could always tell him later._ ' You risked a glance over where the Special Operations Squad was, only to see Oluo's head quickly turn, presumably watching you to see where you'd sit before he turned away, ' _He was always bad at being sneaky._ '

"I promised I'd sit with my old squad at dinner today," you partially lied, before deciding to correct it, "Well, technically I promised to sit with them when I had the chance. If you need me to-"

This time Hanji cut you off, "Don't worry about it, I get it." she said with a genuine, understanding smile, "I'll tell him how they went so you don't have to worry about it later, just make sure to have fun, ok?"

"Thank you Hanji," you said as you took a tiny step to your old squad, and you noticed Hanji take her own step to her own table, "Let me know when you're ready to go, we'll leave then." you said.

"Sure thing, see you in a bit!"

"See ya!" you returned before heading to the table. You couldn't help but notice that Gunther and Eld had their back to you given their position, and you had the sudden urge to try and scare them a little. Walking so you were just behind them, your eyes met with Petra's -as Oluo was the only one other one at the table who could see you and was very obviously trying to avoid your gaze, pretending he didn't know you were there- and signaled for her to be quiet. Once you were in the clear, you took in a quiet breath before-

"What do you think you're doing, (Y/N)?" you jumped as Levi appeared to your left side, and you sent him a playful glare as he ruined your plan to scare them with a plan of his own to scare you. "Oh y'know Levi, I was just standing over here, that's all."

Eld and Gunther turned around when they had heard the corporal say your name, "Look! She didn't disappear off the face of the earth!" Gunther said.

"With how long it's been since I've last seen her, I was starting to think that she actually had." Eld joined in, trying to tease you with how long you had been gone, no actual malice to be found in his voice.

"Glad to see you guys didn't change." you shot back with a jovial smile.

"Oi brat, that's Corporal Levi to you." Levi said as he brought up what you had called him.

You placed your tray down on the table when Eld and Gunther moved apart a little to make room for you on the bench, and it wasn't much longer you noticed the other two across from you doing the same as they made room for the corporal. As he took out a napkin and wiped off the seat and his place at the table, you responded, "Only on expeditions, _Levi_." you used his name to test him. He sent you a glare, but being on a similar rank to him made him less intimidating -even though it didn't happen overnight, getting the courage to call him Levi in person was something that took a good year to do so- so you ended up just brushing it off, ' _He wouldn't do anything here anyways._ '

You could feel the slightly uneasy stares of the four soldiers around you, and you supposed that they hadn't really seen you and Levi interact at all since you had left -outside of expeditions, rather- so they didn't really understand how the two of you interacted until just now. The corporal finally sat down, "Don't make me regret my decision to sit over here, (L/N)."

"Using last names? Ok, ok, I'm sorry corporal." you said with your hands up, a touch of playfulness in your voice, but still calling him corporal to appease him a little. He let out a grunt before turning to his food, stuffing his spoon in his mouth. Petra spoke up, seemingly trying to get rid of the small tension that rose due to you and Levi's short back and forth, "We're glad you were able to stop by, you haven't been able to for quite awhile now." She said with a complacent smile. Her bobbed hair was somehow still neatly brushed despite it being near the end of the day, and her eyes shone brightly with happiness.

Oluo jumped in, "I thought you said she wasn't coming by today?" he said in a slightly accusatory tone.

"I said that she was coming by sometime _soon_ , not that it wasn't necessarily _today_."

Seeing the incoming argument, you decided to add into the conversation and try to put an end to it, "Are you mad I stopped by?" you teased Oluo.

"No, I just wasn't expecting it, that's all!"

"Mhm, yeah sure." you snickered.

\----------------------------------------------------------

"So this whole time, the reason why you haven't really been able to see us in forever, is because you've been testing on the titans and it's more time consuming than you thought?" Gunther asked, slightly shaking his head almost as if he didn't believe you. You knew that he did though, ' _After all, he's a very understanding person, he's just not the best at showing it at times._ '

Eld didn't waste his time to add on, "I wouldn't put it past her, you saw how distracted she became during practice once Hanji started taking her away."

"I'm sorry! I honestly didn't mean to, it just kinda... happened. My job has me very focused, and it's been on the front burner for so long, I just," you paused for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to word what you were trying to say without offending anyone, "I just forgot about everything else." Petra looked at you from across the table, her own food tray that was in front of her empty just like yours, "It's ok, we're just glad you're here! It's been a while, and it's nice to keep up with you."

"I'm going to try and stop by more, but I won't exactly be able to see you guys for a while," you said as you recalled that you and Hanji were going to be leaving for the free range experiments with the titans soon, "Just know that I'll try when things aren't too hectic for me to handle, ok?" You were only able to see the nods of your fellow comrades before you slightly jumped when you felt a tap on your shoulder, "(Y/N)! C'mon, the sun's setting any moment and we need to go and check on Albert and Chica!" Hanji stood behind you with her tray in her hand, and with an ecstatic smile on her face, you swore if you looked close enough, you could see stars in her eyes from excitement. "Chica?!" you asked -starting as a normal question but ending as an exclamation- as Hanji grabbed your hand when you stood up, and you swore you could hear Gunther mumble, "Speaking of the devil," before she started pulling you to the area to drop off trays and then running out the doors of the mess hall -not answering your question, mind you- with you stumbling in tow, doors slamming shut behind the both of you after you had exited.

The trip to the titans was relatively short, but it still left you the tiniest bit breathless, ' _I'm sure it's not because I'm out of shape or anything, it's just because Hanji is always energetic beyond what should be capable for the human body when it comes to titans. Had I been running at my own pace, or probably anyone else's, I would be fine._ ' Nonetheless, a grin of your own decorated your face when Hanji started going off about how this experiment would go, "Ok! So first we'll drape the curtains over them again, you won't mind that, right Albert?" she asked as she slightly sidetracked, addressing the nine meter titan for its opinion. Even without a proper response -the beast had coincidentally let out a grunt at that moment, clearly not related to what she had said- she continued as if it had agreed, "I knew you would say that! After we do that, we have to stick with them until they fully conk out, easy enough, right _captain_?"

You rolled your eyes at the title she called you by and gave her a pointed look, one that was only dulled by the jovial aspect lacing your voice, "Of course, _section commander_."

"Good, just write down anythi- Oh! That's right!" she chuckled and looked as if she was contemplating face palming, "I never gave you back your journal, here." she reached into her pocket and pulled out the very journal that you had left on the ground yesterday evening, seemingly in the same condition as well. "That's right, I completely forgot about that," you said as you took it, "Thanks."

"No problem, just when Chicacchironi falls asleep, make sure to get the time from Moblit." You blinked for a second, ' _Wait, where is Moblit? Now that I think about it, I haven't seen him since last night._ ' Almost as if the brunette had heard your thoughts himself, you heard his voice sound off from across the testing area, particularly where Hanji's squad and a few other soldiers were on guard, "Should I come up closer to the tents then, section commander?" Hanji pondered for a quick second before nodding, "Might as well." she said with a shrug, "You ready to get those covers on again? We've just gotta pull 'em back over!"

You gave a small chuckle, "Would it really matter if I wasn't?" you inquired as you already started making your way over to Chicacchironi. "Not really." Hanji let out a laugh of her own as she made her way over to Albert, getting some help from Moblit as he grabbed part of the fabric and pulled it over the titan's legs. By the time you had finished, the both of them had managed to as well. A dirty blonde haired soldier -who you had learned was called Rashad by others- was suddenly at your side, offering you an already lit lantern in one hand, and a quick glance over to Hanji revealed that Lauda -another soldier in Hanji's squad- doing the same. It wasn't much longer that you got an affirmative nod from Hanji, and all it took was Moblit announcing the time for you to duck into the cover of the material, joining Chicacchironi in the dark.

"18:09."

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You peeked your head out of the tent, tapping lightly on the ground to try and get Moblit's attention and glancing back at the slumbering beast as he made his way over to you, "What's the time?"

His oak eyes glanced down to his left hand once he pulled his pocket watch out of his breast pocket, telling you, "It's 19:01." as you wrote down the time. You guessed that the sun must've set not too long ago, because if you looked very closely in the direction where it had set, you could see faint streaks of a purple and blue hue decorate the sky, framed by the stars that were slightly dimmed due to the not yet fully set sun. "Thanks Moblit, has Hanji finished yet?" you whispered as you grabbed your lantern from inside the tent and finally left the cover, fully exposing yourself to the crisp night air. Moblit offered to take the lantern for you and you obliged, "Not yet, you could go and check on them if you'd like?" he suggested, raising his voice at the end almost as if it was a question.

"Sure, might as well I suppose." you said, smiling and nodding to him to show your appreciation, then heading over to the other tent that was bigger than the one you were just in. Sliding your notebook into your breast pocket -as well as a pencil, arguably just as important as the journal- before you lifted up the end of the cloth slightly so you could peep your head in, "Heya, how's it going?" you whispered in a small voice, trying to not distract the titan in case it was still up. And once glance at it confirmed that it was. Despite it's drowsy state, it's ocean blue orbs were still trained on you and seemingly watched as you entered and neared not only the titan, but also Hanji, who was sitting out of Albert's view, "All's good in here so far. I can only imagine that Chicacchironi already fell asleep, no?"

Quietly sitting next to her, you answered "Yeah, took him about an hour, a little less actually."

"Hmmm, well already there seems to be some sort of pattern."

"The bigger the titan, the longer it takes for them to fall asleep?"

"Precisely. Although it could be purely coincidental, both times we paid attention to how long it took them to fall asleep, it took Albert longer to do so than Chicacchironi. So either there is a pattern, or just like humans, it is harder or easier for certain ones to fall asleep."

"About how long after we agreed to wait out to see how long they could sleep would you say Albert caved?"

"It wasn't that long, half an hour? Maybe closer to forty-five minutes," she said as she started to slip through the pages of her journal, getting to the page where you assumed she had written the time when it had finally fallen asleep. The woman turned the journal away from her and towards the lantern that was in front of her, using it to see the pages more easily and you couldn't help but notice that the same light she was using highlighted her own face -her glasses and goggles too, the latter sitting comfortably on top of her forehead- in a warm, orange-like glow. Her mocha orbs scanned the paper and she pushed a stray lock of her own hair that was in her face behind her ear before she started speaking aloud, pulling you out of your thoughts, ' _That's strange. I guess I've just been so focused lately that I started staring out again, damn._ '

"He fell asleep about thirty-seven minutes after we decided to wait it out," Hanji said, "Making that a little more than two hours for him to fall asleep."

"Huh. Was he this tired before I told you that Chica," you lowered your voice even more and finished your miniature thought within your sentence, "I am so going to short it to Chica by the way," before you continued back to your original train of thought, "had already fallen asleep?"

Hanji stifled a snort with her hand as she tried to stay as silent as possible, for Albert, "No, his eyes were starting to get a little droopy, but he was nowhere near being this drowsy."

"Then perhaps it is irregular. I mean, Chica's was somewhat similar, only about half an hour difference, but an entire hour for Albert? I personally think that's too big of a jump."

"I get what you're saying, this time could be an outlier though," she pointed out, "We only have two points for comparison for both titans, who knows yet."

You nodded your head, taking her words into your head and processing them when she spoke up once again, "We should test this on any future titans we get, dontcha think?" she asked, "This is one of those things where it's probably best to test on multiple titans I think." Looking up at her, you agreed, "Yeah, we should keep a data log or something so it's more easily compared. Chica and Albert are both pure titans, right?"

"As far as I'm aware." Hanji partially confirmed, ' _Even though I wasn't there for it and wasn't able to see how they acted while they were free and wild, I trust Hanji's judgement that they were normal titans. She probably knows more overall about them, I wouldn't be surprised if there were a few things I still didn't know yet. Besides, I'll get to see them unfettered once we go to free range experiments. Speaking of..._ '

"Do you think we'll be able to see if they fall asleep with only their head covered before we leave?"

"Hm? Oh, that's right!" she whisper shouted, "You had asked that before we camped out here with them for three days, of course we can. Tomorrow sound good?" she asked as if you had plans, ' _Let's just be real here, both of us are so absorbed in our work that I personally don't really have a life outside of the Survey Corps. I'm almost certain that it's the same for her, I don't even remember a time when she's taken a day off if I'm going to be honest._ '

"Yup, it's not like I have anything better to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 11 July, 2020!


	11. Packing Bags

**Monday, April 22, 850 at 7:08**

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The papers in your hand jostled around a little as you tried your best to straighten them out, trying to make them as professional looking as you could as you made your way over to Erwin's office, ' _This is the easy part, and yet I still get a little nervous when I have to make these reports. Thank the Walls I stopped stuttering a long time ago, but I wish I stopped feeling anxious so then this whole thing was easier._ ' you thought, ' _I guess I just really like my job and the thought of messing it up and losing my position is scary._ ' Since Hanji had told you that she had already told the commander what had happened, all you had to do was turn in the paperwork you had filled out a couple nights ago and maybe give him a brief recap if he wanted it. You found your boots stopping in front of a door, the plaque on it reading _Erwin Smith, Commander_ confirming that it was indeed the door you were searching for. Raising your left hand up to knock, you proceed to hit the wooden barrier with your fist, hearing a male voice shout "Come in." before you turned the door knob and entered the room.

"Hello, Commander Smith, I have those reports you wanted."

"Yes," he said as the light blonde put his hand out, silently asking for the papers. Once you made your way over to the desk he was sitting behind and handed them to him, he started scanning over the papers, only speaking up again after a brief pause, "Hanji already gave me a thorough report in the mess hall last evening, so I don't need a detailed verbal report. Overall, what the two of you found out is that the titans require sunlight for energy, correct?"

"Yeah, we had blocked them off from the sun, despite the sun still being out, and found that they fell asleep. Then we decided to keep them under for however long it took them to wake up naturally, but we decided against that after three days because we didn't want to accidentally kill them." Erwin was silent as he took in the words,and you added on a little bit when you saw he wasn't speaking, "Yesterday we recorded how long it took for each titan to fall asleep, and today we are going to see if they fall asleep while just their heads are covered."

"As a way to make sure they get their energy from the sun and not from it just being dark and making them tired?" Erwin hypothesized.

"Yup!" you smiled in thought, telling yourself in your head that this was one of the last tests that could possibly prove your theory wrong before it was accepted as fact, ' _Well, until they find evidence that that isn't the case, anyways. But as for right now, it looks like that is what's happening._ ' The commander let out a barely audible sigh as his light blue eyes looked up to meet your (E/C) ones, "Well, I suppose I shouldn't keep you here any longer if you could be doing something productive. You're free to go, (Y/N). All I ask is that you report how the experiment you're doing today goes before you head off to do free range experiments with Hanji on the twenty-sixth."

"Of course, Commander Erwin," you agreed, "I'll report them as soon as I have paperwork filled out for it." you made it about half way over to the exit of the room before he stopped you, "Oh, one more thing, don't bother giving a detailed report about Experiment #289," he said, talking about the one you had done after dinner yesterday, "Just give me the paperwork about it at the same time you give me the paperwork about the one you're doing today."

"Got it, commander." you said, "Is that all?"

"Yes. Have a good day, (Y/N)."

"You too, sir."

As soon as you could hear the lock of the door click shut, you let out a little sigh of relief, ' _See? It's not that bad at all! I don't know why I find it so difficult to do that at times._ ' you thought while shaking your head slightly, ' _Well, I guess the next step is to go and find Hanji so we can actually begin the experiment that we're supposed to do today. Knowing her, she's probably already at the spot, but since her room isn't that far from here, I might as well go and double check._ ' Starting to walk towards the mocha haired girl's room, you took a left turn, then a right turn down the hallways that connected all of the rooms in the building together. Sunlight made its way through the windows lining the one wall, and it provided a nice and natural lighting, ' _I remember the first time I went down the higher up's hallway I was surprised by the windows. Too bad they can't have windows in all of the hallways, but I suppose they did need the space for more rooms._ '

You finally made your way to the section commander's room, and you found yourself placing a knock on it -just like you had done with Erwin's, rapping your left hand knuckles against the hard wood of the door- before almost turning away, ' _It wouldn't hurt to open the door and check,_ ' you reasoned, ' _Besides, I come over here so much that it's practically my second room. The two of us actually kind of share our rooms, they make the perfect place to discuss things regarding titans anyways._ ' Quietly, you turned the door knob and peeped your head in through the crack once it was open enough. To your utter surprise, you found the soldier asleep at her table, her head resting upon her arm and her glasses pushed awkwardly across her face due to how her head was laying down. Being aware that the floorboards in her room were squeaky, you tried your best to make your way over to her as silently as possible, and it seemed like you had succeeded in being quiet enough in you venture to get over to the brunette because she continued to softly snore when you made it to her left side. From this position she was facing you, and it was only when you got over here that you could finally see a book that she had been reading, ' _What book even is that? Er, well I guess it isn't a book, the lettering is hand written._ '

Your eyes wandered across the rest of the desk, the papers seemingly unorganized, but you knew better. Given that it was Hanji, she probably had her papers organized in a way that made them a giant mess to others, using a method that was undecipherable to anyone else but herself, ' _I used to think she was lying when she said it was organised, I mean, just look at it. I was only convinced otherwise when she had managed to pull papers out of there that were needed time and time again with no hesitation. I just wish I could understand her system the same way, that would've saved the both of us so much time_.' you thought as you recalled all of the times you had to ask the woman to fish out a paper that you needed. Slightly on top of one of the piles laid Hanji's goggles, and a quick glance to the top of her head told you that she had taken them off, ' _Probably to help her focus on reading more, I'm pretty sure she complained about them pulling her hair weirdly at times when they were on her forehead._ '

You lightly snickered as you looked closer at Hanji, now noticing that she was drooling on the sleeve of her uniform jacket. Deciding that it was time to wake up the girl, you put your hand on her shoulder and lightly shook it, "C'mon Drool Queen, wake up!"

It didn't take much to wake her up -as she was never a very heavy sleeper- proven when her burnt pools of a dark chocolate snapped open and she flinched back at your yell. Doubling in laughter, you put your left hand on the table and supported your weight while Hanji came to terms with what had just happened, "Oh yeah, _very funny_ ," she said with a groggy voice, "Just wait until I can get back at you!" You let out a faked scared gasp, putting a hand to your chest where your heart was and trying to look terrified, "No! Anything but that!"

Hanji gave a half amused snort, getting up from the chair she had been sitting in and fixing her jacket that was placed on her shoulders before her eyes widened, "Wait a second, you're here for testing!"

"Of course, why else would I be here?"

"Who knows, you're crazy." she said with a roll of her eyes, her hair that was still in it's loose and messy ponytail swishing around as she turned to leave the room, "Well c'mon! Let's go!"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming." you said with a turn of your lips, finding it amusing how quickly it had turned from you trying to get her out of the room to her trying to get you out of the room. Flashing your eyes across the table, you noted that she forgot to pick up her goggles, ' _How strong are these anyways?_ ' you pondered as you made your way around the table, picking them up without stopping, ' _I guess there is only one way to find out._ ' You placed the section commander's goggles on your forehead, resting it there for the briefest second before you pulled it over your eyes. Through the sudden blurriness of the lens you could see Hanji not far from you in the doorway, looking down the hallway and in the direction that the both of you were to head, "Just how in the world do you see with these things?" Quizzically, the soldier turned her head towards you before laughing, finding your stumbling self -as you had tripped on air, finding it difficult to walk straight with how disorienting it felt to have your vision distorted- very amusing, "I think it's magic, but the fairy that gave it to me won't tell me how she made it, so..."

"Pfft, yeah right." you said as you let out an amused huff of air, sliding the goggles up and onto your forehead, connecting your eyes with hers now that you were able to see properly.

"I'm telling the truth!" she said, "Now give 'em back." she requested with a hand out, expecting you to relent easily.

"You'll have to catch me first!" you shouted to her as you ran off, heading to where Chicacchironi and Albert were kept. Boots pounding against the wooden floor, you didn't waste any time sprinting away from the girl that was processing what had just happened, as you didn't hear any fast foot falls behind you. That was until you risked a glance back at her while turning the first corner to get to your destination, and you could feel the adrenaline double in your stomach, ' _Shit, she's coming!_ '

It seemed as if Hanji didn't only have super human energy when it came to titans however, -no, that couldn't be the case as she was currently right behind you in record time. You even felt a slight tug on your jacket -and you could only assume that it was the brunette's fingers that had caused that to happen- because it was when you only had one more turn to go that Hanji had managed to grab your right arm, effectively stopping you in your tracks but also causing you to fall on your butt due to the sudden stop.

"Aha!" the woman shouted in victory, "I've got you!"

You let out a fake pout as you studied the ground, "I was only a little while aways too, shoot." you said as you refused to take off the goggles, hoping that she had somehow forgotten about the whole reason the chase had started. You looked up at the burgundy eyes that met yours, finding it strange that a mini staring contest randomly ensued. You weren't sure what had caused it, but you went along with it, even with the woman being oddly quiet, no matter how out of character it was for her, ' _I don't wanna lose a staring contest after all, not when she caught me!_ ' It was only a few seconds after it started that it ended though, you being the victor this time as she blinked a couple times before distractedly looking away at the ground, a pensive look across her face that you missed, " _Aha!_ " you said as you copied her from before, "I won this time!"

Hanji only let out a chuckle as she offered a hand to you, slightly shaking her head for a moment before looking back at you, this time focused, "Yeah, sure," she said with a roll of her eyes, "I only let you win because I wanna get back to titan testing!"

"Oh yeahhh, heh, that's a good point," you admitted as you took her hand, you pushing with your legs and her pulling with her hand to get you back and standing up, "We wouldn't want to keep the titans waiting, would we?"

"Oh, the Walls no! Such a dreadful thought, that is." she said as if reciting or referencing some old poem or story that you were unfamiliar with. And who knows -perhaps she really was- you would never know, "So you better hand me back my goggles and we'll be on our way."

"Ok, ok, _fine._ " you said as you finally relented and pulled the goggles off of your forehead, rubbing the area with your free hand as you gave Hanji it back, "Here ya go, you meanie." She slipped them back on with ease -the goggles looking as if they were finally back home as they rested atop her forehead- and stuck her tongue out at you, "Takes one to know one, _meanie_." she shot back with a playful grin. The both of you started to complete the short distance left between the testing area and yourselves, "Hey, you're ok, right?" Hanji asked, probably referring to when you had fallen. "Well, I was violently swung backwards at _inhuman speeds_ and landed on the hard ground. I now have _internal bleeding_ and _seven broken bones_ , so you decide.' you teased back to the brunette sarcastically, "Of course Hanji, I'm not made of fragile glass, y'know." You elbowed her slightly as the two of you finally entered where Moblit was seemingly waiting for the both of you, and you heard Hanji let out a snort at your comment as the caramel haired male made his way over to the pair of you.

He held a clipboard that housed some papers, a pencil tucked securely in his hand as he glanced over to the both of you, "I don't think I even want to know why she said all that," he muttered to himself, before increasing the volume of his voice to a normal tone, "You guys know what you're testing on today, right?" he asked for clarification.

"Of course we do, who do you think we are?"

"Fair point, fair point." he admitted and took a small pause before continuing, "Well everything's all set up. Feel free to begin when you feel ready, Captain (Y/N) and Section Commander Hanji." Slightly shaking your head at his formality, you told him for seemingly the millionth time that he could just call you (Y/N) again -like he previously had before you got your title- as you and Hanji started walking over to the tent coverings of the titans to cover their heads and begin experimentation, "(Y/N) works just as well too, y'know!"

**Monday, April 22, 850 at 19:38**

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"I have to agree, twelve hours in a row is pretty hard to argue against." Hanji agreed when you brought up the fact that they've had their heads covered for quite the while and the two titans were still wide awake. Suddenly a smile broke out onto her face, so big and bright you swore it could light up the darkest night brighter than the sun itself, "Yahoo!" she yelled as she jumped up -not being able to hold herself still- and you couldn't help the smile that blossomed on your own face as your theory seemed to have really gained some traction, "I'm personally sold on the idea," Hanji said, "But in order to make it easier for others to believe, we might wanna just run this same test a few more times to solidify it, dontcha think?"

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea at all," you shared your same opinion with the woman, "Are we gonna do it for the next few days, or...?" you trailed off.

"That might be the best course of action," she concluded, "We solidify that they need the sun to power their bodies and then we can go to the free range testing the following morning, sound good?"

"I believe so. Although, how long are we gonna be able to do the free range tests?"

"It really depends on how many experiments we can come up with. If we end up running out of questions, we'll have to wait until it is night time to try and transport them again, but there's a small chance that we'll have to injure -or in worst possible scenario, kill- them if they don't cooperate and they wake up while we are trying to transport them."

"Couldn't the same happen tomorrow? In theory, couldn't they randomly wake up during the night and make this harder?"

"Well, the whole idea to bring them over to a place for free range experiments was already set in stone before we had found out that they can't move at night. Originally we were going to transport them at night because civilians were less likely to be awake and there'd be less traffic, making it more easy to transport them. But now that we know they supposedly can't wake up at night, because they have no energy to do so, it only adds onto our reasoning to go at night and our chances of nothing going wrong! Like I said, it's a small chance."

"Oh ok, so this could go on for months or longer as long as you and I can think of things." you summarized.

"The only other reason we'd have to come back to the HQ would be if Erwin needed us and called us in, but I don't really see that happening." Hanji said as she pushed up her glasses, "Now, why don't we take those covers off of those poor things?!" she said as she gestured to the titans whose heads were still being covered by a thick cloth. "Sounds like a plan to me." you said with a chuckle as you noticed Hanji skipping her way over to where Albert was, ' _Everything is going so perfectly, I don't ever want anything to change._ ' you thought before you stopped yourself, ' _Er, well maybe except for the titans disappearing off of the face of the earth. That'd be nice._ '

The rest of your evening consisted of you filling out the paperwork you had to for Experiment #289 and Experiment #290, catching up and keeping yourself ahead of what work you had to do as your job as captain.

**Thursday, April 25, 850 at 23:11**

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You looked over your second bag once more, going over in your head mentally of what you had packed, and what you still needed to pack. About an hour ago you had decided that you only really needed the basics; a few fresh uniforms, pajamas, a hair brush, undergarments- and you wouldn't dare forget all of your notes regarding titans. You didn't worry about packing your 3DM gear, ' _I'm pretty sure I'll be wearing that when we're transporting them in a few hours, and there's no need to pack any blades or gas, because Hanji told me that there was going to be basically an unlimited supply of those there. Well, not only that, but it'd be pretty awkward to transport._ '

You let out an accomplished sigh -one that assured yourself that you hadn't left anything behind that you had wanted to take- and you looked at the small bags that seemed as if they couldn't hold much, but were clearly proving that thought wrong at the moment. Walking out of your bedroom, you made your way over to your desk to check it and make sure that you hadn't forgotten anything you wanted to take with you when you heard your door opening. You snapped your head up at the person who opened it and shook your head at yourself with a smile, "Y'know, I don't know why I expected it to be anyone but you, Hanji."

"That's pretty foolish of you (Y/N)," she said as she welcomed herself to plop down on one of the chairs that replaced the placement of the couch she had in her room, "What're you up to?"

"Eh, I'm just packing, that's all. I think I've got everything too, I'm just making sure I haven't forgotten anything on my desk, that's all." you said while moving some papers you had on your desk. The desk was surprisingly barren -considering how cluttered it usually was at least- and only a few things that you planned on leaving behind remained; a candle, some pencils and quills, ink to write with, and said papers. When you noticed a lack of a response from Hanji's end, you looked over at her confused, "What's wrong?"

"..."

"Hanji...?"

"...I might've forgotten all about packing..."

Que a facepalming on your part, followed by muttering, "Once again, I don't know why I expected anything different from you."

You continued looking across the room, making sure there wasn't anything you wanted to take with you, "Hey! In my defence, I've had a busy day. Packing just kinda... slipped my mind." Snorting, you made your way into the bathroom to check in there as you kept the conversation going, "So when are you actually going to start?"

You glanced at your reflection in the mirror before turning down to the sink counter, looking at the drawer that you forgot to close that used to house your hairbrush. Closing the drawer, you also took note that you had remembered a towel, wincing at how hard it was to shove into the bag as it was one of the last things you had stuffed in it, ' _I'm actually kind of surprised that I actually_ had _managed to do it. I kinda thought that I was going to have to take something else out for a while._ '

"When I get the chance," she said carelessly, and you could only imagine the wave of her hand she usually did when she found something not urgent, "Maybe in an hour or two."

You poked your head out of the bathroom, "Really?" you asked incredulously, "That might be cutting it too close y'know."

"Nah, I'll be fine," she drawled, the words spilling out of her mouth and filling the atmosphere without a care, "I won't need to pack much anyways." Clicking your tongue, you stood across from her and in front of the short coffee table that served as the only barrier between the both of you, "Also," you started, "I packed my notes, so unless if there is something that you really want to take with you note wise, you don't need to. We can share them, and it's not like either of us can exactly be running off to anywhere."

"Ah, thank you. I was kinda concerned about how I was going to fit all that into my bag to be honest." she confessed while scratching the back of her neck, "Now I've just gotta worry about not forgetting anything else."

"Don't forget to bring soap, Hanji." you scolded the brunette, "Just because you find it a waste of time to bathe doesn't mean that I'm going to allow you to go that whole time without doing so."

"Oh c'mon, really? First Levi, and now you?" she asked as she craned her head up at the ceiling, studying the paint on it as she listened to your response, "We're going to be living in the forest for who knows how long. It's gonna be like camping in a sense, and the last thing I want is to potentially be stuck next to you while you reek."

"Ouch." Hanji said, putting her hands up in a fake surrender, "Ok, ok, fine. I'll _consider_ bathing properly while we're gone. As long as nothing important is happening titan-wise."

You rolled your eyes, shifting your weight to your left side as you put a hand on your hip, "But that basically means that you're not gonna bathe at all, if a titan's involved, you're going to argue that something important _is_ happening."

"Would I really be wrong though? Who knows what they might do during the time that I'd be away."

Sighing, you knew it was pointless to argue with her, and you decided that it was best to probably just try and convince her to bathe once you guys were actually there and go along with her for now, "I suppose anything regarding the titans is important, you're not wrong there." you said before murmuring in a quiet voice that you were sure she couldn't hear you in, "ᴬˡᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒⁿᵃˡ ʰʸᵍⁱᵉⁿᵉ ⁱˢ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵃˢ ⁱᵐᵖᵒʳᵗᵃⁿᵗ..."

"Huh?" she said as she met your (E/C) orbs with her own oak ones that had curiosity swirling in them, a quirk of her brow only confirming that she hadn't heard the last part even more.

"Eh, it was nothing."

"Mhm, sure." she said as she sent you a look that told you she didn't believe you, yet she changed the subject anyways, "Are you sure you've got everything packed?"

"I think so, I mean, I've got all the basics. Proper changes of clothing, a hairbrush, towel, the notes, underwear and the like. Why did you think of something I didn't?"

"Maybe." the woman said with a mischievous turn of her lips.

"Hanji, I'm almost one hundred percent sure that you're bluffing right now." you said with confidence. After all, how would she know what you had and hadn't packed? "Think (Y/N), how would I know that you've forgotten something?"

"Well, I guess it'd either have to be here in this very room," you said as you did once again another quick scan for something you'd missed, coming up empty handed yet again, "Or I must've left something in your..." It suddenly dawned on you what had happened, "...room."

Yesterday you had spent the night in Hanji's room, the both of you deciding that it would be easier for you to just spend the night there instead of going back to your room while trying to sneak through the hallways through the dim light the candles produced. The pair of you felt like it would not only help you further your work -as the plan was to just go over what you've already tested on titans and try to reinvigorate it in your brains- but that it's also be nice just to spend a night together, as you hadn't had a girls night in a while. "It's my toothbrush, isn't it?" you guessed as you recalled not seeing it in the bathroom, but you also didn't remember stuffing it into either one of your cramped bags, ' _I don't know if there is actually going to be room to fit it into one of them. They're packed so much to the brim that I think they might explode if I try to put it in one of them._ '

Hanji nodded and let out a giggle, "Well that was quick," she remarked, "Did you want to stop by and pick it up, or do you want me to drop it off?"

Letting out a nervous chuckle, you looked over at her sheepishly, "You don't think I could maybe, just maybe, have you put my toothbrush in your bag, do you?" You looked everywhere but at her, and you could hear her trying to hold back more laughter of hers as she answered, "Just how tightly did you pack them?!"

"Heh, it uh, it might be easier if I just went and brought them out here." you said as you made you way over to your bedroom and to your bed where your bags were laying, "I have to put them by the door anyways so I don't forget them later, so it's a win-win I guess!" you shouted back to her. Picking them up -slinging the straps of the bag that was filled with notes over your shoulder, as it was the heavier one- you wobbled back over to where Hanji was, stumbling and almost falling over at how top heavy you had become within seconds. You could hear the chair she was in scoot back a little as she quickly stood up, rushing over to you to help you first gain balance, and then carry the bag she took off of your shoulder to the door with you following in tow, "Geez, you weren't kidding! What did you stuff in this thing (Y/N)? Bricks?"

"Pfft, nah. That's the bag I dedicated towards the notes. Books are heavy, y'know?"

"You're telling me that you stuffed all of your personal belongings into that small bag?" she asked as she placed down the one she carried over and pointed to the one that was still in your hands. "Yup! Well, everything except for a toothbrush and some toothpaste..." you said as you hinted at the previous topic, wordlessly asking Hanji to either say yes or no to your request and to just at least give you an answer.

"Yeah, I'll worry about that," she said, "Still though, the Walls! I think you might be the fairy that I was talking about the other day, because you fitting everything in that small bag is nothing short of a miracle."

"Pfft, yeah, ok." you said as you slightly laughed, finding what she had said amusing, "I really do think you should start getting ready though Hanji," you reasoned, "You can always spend your free time afterwards doing whatever you'd like until we leave."

She turned her body to the door that was right next to her, while keeping her head facing towards you, "Y'know, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. I think I might try and finish that one book I was reading a few days ago."

"The one I caught you practically drooling on? It must've been _very_ riveting."

"It's not the book's fault! It's actually really interesting, it's about this weird tale of a miner who tried to big his way under Wall Rose to get further inside the walls!"

"So you're reading fiction? I thought you preferred more nonfiction based material?"

"It depends really, but this isn't fiction! Supposedly, it's a true story that happened about 65, maybe 66 years ago. In 784, anyways, they never specified the month."

' _Under the Walls? I get the desire to move further inside the Walls, but to be willing to spend the time to dig under it? This miner must've either been one, not real, two, lying, or three really desperate. And if I had to guess which one is the most plausible, I'd probably say the first, although the second doesn't seem like it'd be that out of the realm of possibility to have happened._ ' You were about to comment on how you felt that it was completely bogus, but when you looked up at the woman you couldn't bring yourself to say so when she had this sparkle in her eyes, "I guess I shouldn't hold you back anymore then, huh? Maybe one day I could read it after you do, but for now I'm more concerned about you getting ready in time."

"Yeah, yeah, ok. I'll go now." she complained, twisting the door knob open and taking a step out and into the hallway, "The things you make me do, first bathing and now packing before I can't procrastinate any longer."

You giggled at what she had said as you wished her luck, "Have fun with that Hanji. Just be careful when it's time to go, ok? Anything can go wrong around titans, if anyone should know that, it's you."

"Nah, Chicacchironi and Albert would never hurt us!" she exclaimed, clearly joking as she shot you a playful wink. "Well then, why don't we just leave during the day when we can see? If they won't hurt us, we can just peacefully lead them over to the area and resume testing a lot more easily than all the trouble we're going to go through just to get them there."

She shook her head slightly at your sarcasm, a smile adorning her lips and fitting in with the rest of her face, "Sounds like a plan to me." Snorting, you replied, "Have a goodnight Hanji."

"You too, (Y/N)." she said as she turned away, and you closed the door behind her, looking at the bags placed near the door before heading further back into your room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 15 July, 2020!


	12. Sneaking Out

**Friday, April 26, 850 at 15:27**

**\----------------------------------------------------------**

You sighed as you laid down on your cot, trying to get used to not only it's feel, but also the feel of what living here for who knows how long would be like. It wasn't to say that you particularly despised this set up -no, in fact, you loved it- it was just that it was going to be quite the change from what you were used to. Letting a smile creep its way onto your face, you couldn't help but think, ' _I did it. I'm finally in the perfect location to test on them freely and there is no given time limit, I don't think this could have turned out any more perfectly._ '

Putting your hands behind your head, you felt your body fully relax into the cot and shut your eyes, embracing the calmness that overtook you afterwards. It was surprisingly easy to get the titans from their first location to the other, and despite it only being earlier this morning that you, Hanji, Moblit and the rest of Hanji's Squad had brought them over, you already remembered the event like an ancient memory, ' _I guess it's just such a big change that my brain doesn't know how to process it or something,_ ' you thought, ' _That, or I'm just going insane._ ' The rest of the day was decided to be spent resting and getting used to the layout and such, as requested by Moblit -even though Hanji was the highest power here, that didn't mean she was in charge. At least not with that caramel headed soldier around it seemed.

You were the only one in the tent, having it all for yourself until the time came for you and everyone else to leave. If you were going to be honest, you weren't really expecting to have gotten your own "room", but you were not going to complain, ' _That just means that I have more space for me after all. Also it means that it was worth struggling to put this up._ ' the thought passed your mind as you winced, recalling how difficult it was to set the whole thing up on your own until a certain brunette barreled herself through the entrance of your tent, scaring the ever-loving shit out of you, "(Y/N)! Guess what?!"

"Gah! The Walls Hanji, I think you just gave me a heart attack." you muttered the last part as you sat up from your cot, taking a deep breath to calm yourself with a hand on your chest before your eyes eventually glanced over to Hanji, "Wait, what's with the pillow and blan..." you trailed off as you drank in the image and realized what was going on. There stood Hanji, in all of her titan-loving might, donning her typical Survey Corps uniform -complete with her usual grin- and holding a folded up cot of her own that was hidden by a pillow and a blanket, "...ket." What began as a question ended as a sentence as it died on your tongue, leaving Hanji to basically confirm what you thought.

"I'm bunking with you!" she said happily, seemingly oblivious to your slight annoyance as she set up her cot. Don't get yourself wrong, you didn't have a problem with Hanji bunking with you at all; your annoyance stemmed from the fact that you struggled to set up the tent all by yourself without her help, and then the woman came over here to join you conveniently once it was all set up. You tried your best to brush off your more angry thoughts as you inquired, "What happened? I thought you were getting your own tent?"

Hanji put down her blanket and pillow on her new bed before turning to you while nervously scratching the back of her head with her right hand, "Well, you see, I _was_ supposed to get my own tent, but uh, it might've been left behind, so... we were short a tent. And with my squad having their own bigger tent that serves like a barracks, I was left between bunking with you or Moblit." she paused for a second, before continuing, "Since Moblit is a boy, and you and I are probably going to be working a lot together anyways, I figured it was probably the best choice to bunk with you." she explained. Thinking it over for a second, you decided that you accepted her reasoning, ' _At least she doesn't snore too loudly._ ' the optimist in you said, ' _Also, she's my best friend, not only did she organize this whole thing with Erwin, but it also isn't her fault. She couldn't help the tent being left behind after all, it wasn't her job to pack it._ '

"Ah, I understand. When did you find out?"

"About ten minutes."

"Ten minutes?" you echoed back as a question.

"Yeah, about ten minutes on our way over here."

' _I take it back, it so is her fault._ ' you looked over at the section commander as you stood up, giving her the stink eye, "Hanji! Why didn't you ride your horse over to pick it up? You could've easily got it and came back without a hitch y'know." you whined.

"I needed to stay with the titans," she shrugged, "To stay with the group and make sure everything went smoothly."

"Sure, but even if you couldn't have gone back then, why didn't you help me set up the tent just now?"

The girl let out a nervous chuckle, shifting her weight from her right side to her left as she rubbed her elbow and answered your question, "Because you looked capable...?"

"Hanji?"

"Hm?"

"You just didn't want to set it up, didn't you?"

"What? No, of course not..." she trailed off as she realized that she wasn't fooling you -your quirked brow and skeptical look that was etched onto your face telling her so- and her eyes now looked down and studied the ground as she continued, "Ok, maybe I wasn't feeling one hundred percent up to the task..."

"You so owe me one for this." you said with a puff of air, sadistically smiling afterwards as you saw her pick up her head and look at you with eyes that told you she would prefer to not have things end up like this, but overall she didn't protest it. "Yeah, yeah, ok." she said, "Bringing your toothbrush for you doesn't count as a big enough favour, does it?"

"Unfortunately for you, nope!" you said as you popped the 'p', walking over to your one bag that still had the books with the titan notes all packed in it and kneeling down near it to open it up more easily, "I brought all of these over for the both of us, remember?" At the mention of the books, Hanji went quiet and made her way over near you, following your example and kneeling beside you. After you opened the bag, you picked up one of the books, reading over its cover before handing it to Hanji when she reached her hand out, wordlessly asking to take a closer look at it. Not too long of a time passed between handing the book to her when she perked her head up, "Oh! That reminds me!" she said, sitting on her legs and shimming to back up a little, "I've thought of this experiment, right?"

"Oh? What is it?"

"Well," she started now in a hushed tone, "I was thinking that maybe tonight we could go and sneak out to see the titans while they were still trapped in the net." For the sake of convenience, the two of you decided it was best to keep them in their confinements while everyone was setting up camp, ' _Not only that, but it'll be easier to free them when they're asleep, that way they don't move as much. We'll probably do it not too long before the sun is supposed to rise tomorrow morning, after all, the longer they are immobile, the safer it supposedly is, even if they aren't supposed to be able to just climb out to begin with. Also, it'll help keep Moblit sane too, that's a plus._ '

"Why sneak?" you asked, "And what for?"

Giving a roll of her eyes, she answered your question in a whisper, "You know how Moblit is, do you really think he'd approve of anything titan related at night?"

"Ah," you said, "Fair point."

"And as for what, I was thinking that maybe it would be a good idea to use the titan's captivity to our advantage and sneak down there in the pit to find out if they can see in the dark, y'know?"

"Woah, woah, woah, hold on. I didn't know that you were talking about _going down_ in the pit with them! Just how in the world are we going to sneak down there? There are soldiers set up to be guarding the pit at all times, y'know, in case if anything goes wrong?" you said, already seeing some pretty obvious flaws in her plan.

"Well, I was thinking we could just say, that because it is our first day here, that we would take the rest of their shift for them and let them set up for the night. And then all we would have to do from there is make sure that we are back and standing where the guards were when the new ones come to start their shift!"

"What are we gonna do if they say no? If they say that they've got it?"

Her dark orbs shot you a quizzical look, one that you only returned until she elaborated further, "Sometimes I wonder if you remember my position, or even your own at times (Y/N). Worst comes to worst, we'll just command them to leave. The only reason I can't do that with Moblit is because he'll have the guts to report unsafe testing to Commander Bush Brows."

"Oh, yeah," you managed to say through your laughter, caused by the creative title she gave the usually serious commander, "I totally remembered."

"Whatever," Hanji said with a roll of her eyes and a smile tugging at her lips that told you she wasn't really annoyed with you, or perhaps that she found your own amusement amusing herself. Either way, she didn't linger on it long and soon continued back to the previous topic, "We're also going to need to put out the lanterns before we go down there, so we know that the titans aren't just seeing us in the light. We'll tell if they can see us or not based on if we hear them trying to get to us, because, y'know, we wouldn't exactly be able to see them either. We're just betting on them still being awake because in theory they shouldn't have fallen asleep yet when we go."

You took a moment to yourself to truly ponder over what was happening, ' _So I'm making the final decision to say if we go or not? Well, on one hand we'll find some pretty valuable information. But on the other, we actually have a high chance of just walking into the beast's mouths. If they can't see, given that they don't have night vision, neither can we._ ' It took you a second, but you finally came to a decision as Hanji interrupted your thoughts, seemingly too excited at the prospect of doing it that she couldn't wait for you to speak up on your own.

"So whaddya say? Are you down?" she asked for you to either accept or reject her request with a mischievous grin, already knowing what one you were going to choose. "Of course I am!" you replied with a smile of your own, feeling the butterflies already building up in your stomach at the idea, "Can I make some requests though?"

"What's up?"

"We have to be able to touch the wall of the pit with our hands while we're down there. Should something go wrong, it'll act as a failsafe in a sense; this way we don't kill ourselves by walking right into their mouths and if for some reason they are able to get out of the nets we could try and make a break for it with 3DMG using the wall."

"Yeah, seems pretty reasonable to me," she agreed with your suggestions, "Tonight at 21:30 sound good to you?"

"I don't see anything wrong with it." you shrugged.

"Then it's settled! Tonight!"

"Sh! We've gotta sneak, remember?" you scolded her in a whisper.

"Heh," she chuckled guiltily, "Good point." You just shook your head and smiled at her antics that partially reminded you of a child.

**Friday, April 26, 850 at 21:28**

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"You're good to go, right?" the woman questioned as she hesitated stepping out of the tent, possibly thinking this whole thing over for the smallest second with a lantern gripped tightly in her hand, one that matched the one in your own hand in every way save for the flickering flame that waved about. You yourself were having second doubts -dying stupidly here didn't sound like the most appealing outcome- but nonetheless you gave her a reassuring grin and nodded your head, "I'm positive. Operation Titan Testing, commence!" you whisper shouted, unconsciously patting your 3DM gear that was attached to your hips for an easy time entering and leaving the pit.

Hanji walked out of the tent as casually as she could after she gave a snort in response, you following out from behind her and meeting up by her side, looking back at the tent to make sure that the fabric flap that functioned as a door was closed as you matched her steps with your own. Looking where the both of you were heading, you could see the faint outlines of two soldiers, still a good enough bit aways that if you didn't already know that it was Keiji and Lauda, you wouldn't have been able to guess, ' _To be fair, it is dark out as well._ ' The thought passed through your head as you passed by a lit lantern, quickly looking around the area and counting how many lanterns were exactly lit, ' _There's four, not including the ones that the guards will take with them when they leave._ '

When the two of you made it over, Hanji was the first one to speak up, "How's your first night here going so far?" she asked, trying to keep everything as non suspicious as she could. You resisted the urge to facepalm, ' _Really Hanji? That's the best you've got? Not to say that you're like heartless or anything, but it's just a little strange for the both of us to walk over to them and ask them that during their shift in the dead of night._ '

Surprisingly enough, the two soldiers didn't seem to comment on it or think anything strange of it -and a fleeting thought passed your mind, ' _Maybe she does have this all under control._ '- as they answered her question, "We're doing just fine, section commander." Keiji said, still staring forwards as he was taught to while in training while Lauda joined in after him, head turned towards the both of you as he ignored -or just simply forgot- how he was supposed to behave, "Yeah, nothing much has happened really," he drawled as he shifted a little, "Why are you guys in your gear?"

"Oh, well, given how taxing today must have been, given moving everything around and such, we both thought that it would be a good idea to take the end of your shift just for tonight. To make it a little easier on you, y'know?" you said as you answered his question, not giving Hanji the chance to as you were afraid she would blow your cover, despite the fact that everything seemingly went fine before. "Are you sure Captain (L/N)?" Keiji asked, flickering his eyes to you for a second before staring ahead at nothing once more, "Of course, Keiji" you said, "At ease for now, no need to be doing that right now." you smiled to him, and you saw his shoulders visibly relax as the brown haired soldier at his side piped in, "I'm not even that tired," he said, ironically starting to yawn as he continued to the next part of his sentence with slightly tinged cheeks at the realization of what just happened, "I could take the next shift too if I wanted."

Hanji jumped back in as she ignored the irony, "There's no need for that though," she said with a warm turn of her lips, "We've got this under control!"

Keiji didn't seem to fight it, and even Lauda seemed to go along with it, albeit while claiming that he was doing it because you guys had been so kind to offer. As the both of them were leaving to go to their tent, you could hear a small whispers of bickering between the both of them;

"'Could take another shift', eh?"

"The only reason I yawned was because you had before, It wasn't like I was actually tired or anything!"

"I did that about an hour ago, so..." Their back and forth eventually went out of your hearing range, and you couldn't help but think, ' _Man, those two are a whole awful lot like Oluo and Petra._ ' You passed it off as your homesickness, or rather the connection between the two groups of people being based solely on how you missed your old squad and not the actual HQ itself. "They sure have an interesting friendship, don't they?" Hanji asked as she gripped her lantern, having noticed your staring at them as they had left, "Yeah." you agreed, choosing not to add on any further and holding your own lantern down at your side as you felt it brush against your calf, "You get the two on the left, and I'll get the two on the right?" you asked, pointing in each corresponding direction as you inquired.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Hanji said, "Let's make this quick, then meet back here to enter."

It was only when you were walking over to put out the lanterns that stood on the ground along the perimeter of the pit that you realized just how dark it was, and you were able to safely guess that if it weren't for the lanterns that you were walking over to put out, you wouldn't be able to see a thing. The night sky could only be seen through the dense layer of leaves in dots, the small -miniscule, even- patches that allowed for the soft beams of the moon to slip through and onto the ground where they didn't provide much help in lighting up where you were going. Doing as the both of you had agreed, you walked over to the first lantern and blew it out, opening the hatch that opened a small door for you to do so before you put it out. Once you had walked over and put out the last lantern, you started to turn back, looking into the pit and trying to see something. Anything. But nothing came into your view except for the pitch black void that made up the darkness; you couldn't see the titans, you couldn't see the ground, hell, you couldn't even see the boulders that were left inside the pit as it was decided too much of a hassle to try and move them out of the pit if they wouldn't allow for the titans to escape from climbing them.

You glanced down at the lantern in your own hand that was held slightly before you as you neared where the both of you agreed to regroup, seeing another dot of light making its way over to you. It swung slightly back and forth -presumably matching with every step she took closer to you- until it swung a little faster and you could finally see her now jogging over to where you stood. "Do you want to bring your light, or do you want me to bring mine down?"

"Either way works for me," you started before blowing out your lantern, "But since you're the one with the means to relight it, it might be best if you hold onto yours, y'know?" Putting your lantern on the ground gently, you heard the soft click of metal on metal as the handle your hand had been grasping on to hold the lantern itself up fell down against its side, Hanji responding to you not long after, "Got it. Remember to stick to the walls, yeah?" she said as you saw her grab onto the lantern and the handles to her gear. You snorted as you shook your head, but still grabbed the handles to your 3DM gear nevertheless as you got into a position that would allow you to jump into the pit, "As if I'd forget that, it was my idea to begin with, silly."

"Ok, let's go then!" she whisper shouted as she jumped down, and the image of her excited face lit up by not only her lantern but also her smile -one that flashed through your head right after she went down. You blinked twice before you heard a wire shoot out of her gear to steady her landing, and you slightly cringed at the sound it made. Glancing over at Moblit's tent quickly, you calmed yourself down at the revelation that he had not been disturbed of his -assumed- slumber. Hearing a quiet landing at the bottom of the pit and a recoil of wires, you peeked your head over and could faintly see Hanji waving her hands for you to join her -along with a few grunts of the titans, as they currently saw the same girl you were looking at, albeit for two completely different reasons- before you took a step back and got ready to enter. Jumping down after her and feeling the wind brush past your face and hair as you free fell for the first few seconds, you calculated -based on Hanji's somewhat stagnant light and the ground you could see from it- how long you could wait until you needed to shoot out your wires from your gear. With a press of your gear, you felt the wires vibrate at the sheer propulsion they gave as they zoomed past the air, leaving the sides of your hips and finding a new temporary home in the dirt wall the pit provided. The landing came quicker than you expected, which caused you to stumble the tiniest bit as you landed, willing the metal strings back to you with another press of a trigger on the handle of your gear and putting the blades away.

"Are you ok?" you asked the girl right ahead of you, placing your left hand on the wall and ignoring the dirt that was bound to be caked on your hands afterwards, "Yup!" she replied before reflecting the question back at you, "Are you?"

"Yeah, the ground just came quicker than I expected," you giggled quietly, hearing her return one not too long after you said it, "Of course it did," she said.

"Oh c'mon, let's just get this started," you said, "We don't wanna keep them waiting all night." Not long after you said that a low growl emitted from one of the titans that were to your right, and you felt a quick flash of fear jab you in the gut, "Yeah, seems like Albert doesn't want to wait at all." Hanji said, slightly amused but still with a slight bit of apprehension casted onto her face, ' _It doesn't matter how much you love the titans,_ ' you thought, ' _They scare everyone from time to time._ '

"How do you know it was Albert?"

"It was a deeper growl. I guess I technically don't know for sure that it was him, but given that he has a significantly bigger voice box than Chicacchironi, it is alway more probable that the deeper the growl, the higher chances it has of coming from Albert." she said as she struggled to word her sentence properly, "You know what I'm trying to say."

"Yeah, I getcha." you said as you took a second to process her words, realizing that she was right, "I guess I just never thought of that. That's pretty interesting though, I have to admit."

"It was just something I had picked up on the field, I think it was during the 51st expedition, although I'm not sure," she offhandedly said before getting back on track, "Are you ready for me to blow out my light?"

' _Well, I mean there is nothing more for us to do except what we came here for really, so I suppose I'm as ready as I'll ever be._ ' You shot her a determined look, "I'm good to go."

Hanji nodded her head before she opened the hatch to go and put out the flame, connecting her eyes with yours for the briefest second before she blew and everything went black, "Is your hand on the wall?" you asked because you had seen both of her hands off of the wall when she had first blew, "Not yet, but my foot is touching it."

"Ok, ok." you muttered as you started to walk forwards where you had seen her, "That's good." You had your hands slightly out in front of you, trying to feel where she was in the dark, and you suddenly felt the stiff yet smooth fabric of the sleeve of her Survey Corps jacket before you felt her slowly bring her hand up and connect it with yours. Scrunching your brows, your face communicated your confusion -you mused in your head that she probably would have laughed at you given she could see how you looked right now- and it wasn't much longer before you opened your mouth to ask her about it when she spoke up, "I just thought of it," she started in a whisper -one that you strained your ears to hear despite the ringing silence that seemed to echo around- probably sensing your perplexion and oncoming question, "As an extra safety measure should one of us trip or fall down and lose contact with the wall."

"Good idea." you told her as you felt her intertwine her fingers in between your own, noticing that her hand had a few calluses on it -probably from all of her hard work and dedication she put into her job, ' _I wouldn't expect Hanji to put anything but her all given her passion for her work._ ' As the two of you continued to wander around the perimeter of the pit, you could hear the noises get louder as you presumably got closer to the captive monsters and then die out a little as you passed them due to the distance. The uneven ground did in fact cause you to stumble one or twice, even Hanji had a moment where she almost fell over, tugging on your hand to try and find some sort of stability on the bumpy terrain as she caught herself. As the two of you walked however, the grunts and moans of the titans eventually quieted down, telling you that the beasts had either fallen asleep, or had lost sight of the both of you due to it being dark and therefore lost interest.

"I'm pretty sure they aren't focused on us right now," Hanji started, "They've seemed to have fallen asleep."

"Or they just can't see us like you theorized," you pointed out as you stopped running your hand along the dirt wall and held it in place as the both of you had stopped walking. Looking in her direction -where you assumed her face was- you awaited for her response, "I suppose that still is a possibility, it just seems oddly quiet for them to not be asleep."

"Why don't we make some noise then?" you whispered back, "If they respond to it, then it would tell us that they are awake and just can't see us, right?"

"I suppose you're right, it wouldn't hurt to try." she said in a tone that told you she had taken your suggestion, "Tell me, can you hear me, dear Albert?" Snickering, you joined in, "Yeah Chica, are you still here with us?"

For a moment it was quiet, and even with your ears trying their best to hear any possible noise that might be being made, you came up empty handed, save for the occasional scitter scattering of some forest small animal trying to find a place for the night. That was until you could hear a yell emit from seemingly Chicacchironi itself, as the yell was a little too high pitched for it to be coming from Albert. Being scared half to death due to the sudden cry, it threw you off guard and you jumped, twisting and falling onto the ground with both palms face down on the ground as it tore Hanji's hand out of yours, feeling some sort of stinging in your hands as they scratched against the rough rocky floor, "(Y/N)! Where are you?" Hanji said urgently, the concern that laced her voice almost tangible as the words fell out of her mouth and sent small butterflies to your stomach, ' _Stop, don't get all weird now!'_

"I'm fine," you said, "I'll just back up a little." starting to move, you heard Hanji stop you immediately, "Nonono!" she said hastily, "Just stay still. You can't be sure what way is towards the wall or not, even now my voice might sound like it is closer or further than it actually is because of how open a space this is." she reasoned. Letting out a sigh, you realized that she was probably right and let out a small, "Ah, that's a good point." before you heard the girl feeling through the dark for you. Feeling a kick to your side not too long after, you let out a "Oof!" as she retracted her leg and replaced it with a hand, "Sorry," she giggled guiltily, "But here, meet your hand up to mine."

"I think my hand is bleeding, you sure?"

"I think getting you back to the wall is more important than worrying about blood on my hands, (Y/N)."

"Gah, sorry about this then." you apologized as you met your hand with hers, ignoring the slight sting, "I just thought I should warn you."

"Don't worry about it, it's not a big deal."

Not really sure what to say, you started getting straight to business, standing up and following her when she pulled her hand back and closer to the wall, ' _She was right,_ ' you realized, ' _I was totally turned around and would have walked further away from the wall should I had gone where I had thought she was._ '

"Well, clearly at least one of them is up," Hanji spoke, "So it means that they can't see in the dark." You could feel Hanji tug her hand away from yours, "I've got my foot on the wall, I'm going to light up the lantern again." Nodding your head despite the fact that she couldn't see it, you let go of her hand and felt the cool, yet slightly humid, air of the night replace it as you heard a metallic click, ' _I can only assume that that is Hanji lighting up the lantern again._ ' Your suspicions were confirmed when you saw something aside from the nothing that the darkness provided. Seeing Hanji getting out her blades, you followed her lead, "You ready to get out of here?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," you replied.

**\----------------------------------------------------------**

Hanji opened the tent flap for you and let you enter, while you walked forwards and placed your lantern in the middle of the floor so the both of you could see everything, "I can't believe we got away with that," you said as you plopped on your cot, "I mean, we had just gotten back in place when Nifa and Abel had came over." At the mention of the blonde and redhead, Hanji agreed, "You're not wrong. That's what I call cutting it close!" she said with a laugh before she seemingly remembered something, "Speaking of cutting, how are your hands?"

"Huh?" you asked as you had forgotten your little trip, already tucked in the back of your mind until the woman brought it up again, "Oh, my hands are fine, just a tiny bit dirty, that's all."

"Lemme see."

Complying with her, you held out your hands, seeing the mud that made all of the cuts on your hands dark where it should have been red with blood. You slightly winced at how dirty they were, slightly worrying that they might get infected as Hanji stood up, telling you "I'll be right back," before leaving.

Silence once again filled your ears, save for Hanji's footfalls that were slowly fading out, as you wiped your dirt caked hands against the already dirty -although not _as_ dirty as your hands- pants and tried to clean them off a little. You barely succeeded as you then went to try and pick out the dirt that was seemingly embedded into your skin, letting out small hisses as the stinging made you feel uncomfortable. You had just gotten content with your progress when Hanji walked back into the room, this time with a bottle of alcohol and a rag. Kneeling down in front of you -you were still sitting on your cot after all- she wordlessly reached out for your hands to take care of them as you weakly protested, "It's ok Hanji, I can take care of this myself, you don't have to do this."

Shaking her head, she pulled your hands further from you before she opened the bottle of alcohol and poured it over on top of them before you let out a hiss. Almost as if it had been done by magic, the dirt and mud that had remained was washed away as she dried your hands with the rag, "It was my idea to go out there, at least let me do this." she said, and you swore if you listened closely, you could detect a minute bit of guilt woven deeply in her voice, ' _Does she really feel bad about the little trip? It wasn't a big deal at all, let alone her fault. After all, I was the one who was so clumsy as to actually trip and fall on some small pebble or root or something, so she really shouldn't feel bad._ ' You hesitated in your head if you should tell her not to feel guilty, debating if you had simply imagined the whole thing to begin with and it was simply all a part of your imagination as you felt her start to dry your other hand, ' _I suppose I might as well tell her to not feel bad, just in case. I just pray to the Walls that I don't look like a complete fool if I'm wrong._ ' then you faltered for one more second, ' _Wait a second, since when did I get so paranoid about saying something stupid in front of Hanji? It's not like she hasn't already heard the dumbest things come out of my mouth._ '

Shaking your head as if to get rid of your thoughts, you felt Hanji give you a quizzical look as you started to speak, "Hanji, you don't have- Gah!" you let out a gasp of surprise as she poured the alcohol on your hands once again, not expecting the sting at all.

"What were you saying?" she innocently asked.

"Why'd you do it twice?" you whined.

"I just wanna make sure that there's no dirt or anything left, y'know? I guess I should've warned you or something given you were staring out, but, well, I thought you had snapped out of it when you shook your head." she explained with a smile and a slight chuckle. Feeling your insides warm up a little at her kindness and consideration, you smiled back at her and thanked her for her thoughtfulness, "Thank you, Hanji."

"It's no problem, (Y/N). Can't do any proper tests without you anyways." she snickered, letting you know that she was joking despite the validation of her words. You only rolled your eyes, ' _Of course Hanji would say that._ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 22 July, 2020!
> 
> ((Sorry this one was a little late, I overslept to be honest and hadn't got to edit the chapter yet, so my bad on that! ^^))


	13. First Free Experiment

**Saturday, April 27, 850 at 04:45**

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**

"Are you guys awa- of course you are, section commander." you heard the deep whisper of a male voice say, and you slowly became aware of the soft glow of light that emanated from a lantern behind you. The rustling of papers sounded in the tent, and you squinted your eyes open, seeing the tent wall that your cot was against before closing them and letting out an almost inaudible groan -not wanting to move yet while your body was still tired- but turning around nonetheless. "I was just rereading things, Moblit." the voice of Hanji spoke, a grogginess added to it that suggested she hadn't spoken in a little while, "Gotta remember all of this stuff somehow, y'know?"

"Sure, sure." Moblit said, and based on his tone you could almost imagine him rolling his eyes -probably guessing that even without rereading whatever she was, she would still be able to recite the material flawlessly- before he continued, "Can I count on you to make sure she actually gets up?"

"You can count on me as much as you can count on titans being the most confusing organism on the earth."

You heard a partially unamused puff of air leave from a mouth -you assumed it was Moblit's- before a few steps were taken, followed by some more papers moving about and then the rustling of fabric, "Just make sure she's ready in ten minutes. The earlier we do it, the better the chances of it going smoothly."

"Got it, _boss_."

"In your dreams, section commander." You could only assume that Moblit had left the tent, the cloth of the tent not only producing a sound as he brushed past it, but also the dull clicks of his boots on the dirt floor telling you that he was most likely leaving. A sigh came from across the room, now in front of you given that you had turned over and faced away from the wall directly behind you, and not too long after a voice spoke up as well, "You heard him, (Y/N). Ten minutes until we set them free..." she said before muttering to herself, "They grow up so fast..." The brunette snickered at her own joke, and it wasn't long after that you weakly 'pfft'ed and opened your mouth to ask a question, opting to keep your eyes shut and swim in the semi-darkness, "What time is it anyways...?"

"About four fifty," she said before adding, "I think so anyways."

You let out a grunt as you forced yourself to sit up on your cot -it wasn't the most comfortable accommodation, but it didn't leave you as sore and stiff as you thought it would have- pushing your blanket off of your body and to the side as you opened your eyes. Before you was Hanji, scanning over a book that you thought you had remembered packing however many days ago, and a quick glance over to the bookbag that had contained the notes you brought over confirmed it when you saw it less stuffed and less organized, ' _I guess that's what she was rereading. Must be kinda funny to reread your work, considering she wrote the majority of it. Granted it could be my notes, but either way it doesn't matter, we share them anyways._ '

"So five is go time?" you asked for clarification, looking down at your palms -they were decorated with cuts and scabs, a few of them barely noticable and some of them hard not to notice- running your thumbs against the lacerations as you spoke. "Seems so!" she said as she closed a particular book she was reading, mentally noting which page she had left on as she glanced at the bottom, before standing up and walking to a table that had been brought along with everything else, "You go ahead and get changed," she said before fake coughing, "because I know some people like to waste time."

Standing up, you shot a playful glare at her, "At least I don't scare the titans away with my stink."

She rolled her eyes as she turned her back to you, giving the privacy you would need, "It's a defence mechanism!" You snorted before you sent back a retort, "Yeah, _sure it is_." You could see her shake her head as she messed around with papers that were already haphazardly placed on the table, ' _She must have stayed up much later after I went to sleep to already have it that big of a mess._ ' her mocha hair that was in it's loose -and consequentially, messy- ponytail danced around her shoulders before it settled down.

Without another word, from her or you, you went over to your other bag and took out a fresh uniform, stripping out of your clothing before putting on the new set that fit just as well as the previous one, if anything, a little looser even. "You can turn around now," you said as you finished tucking in your shirt, "I just have to do those stupid belts now." Turning your back to the oaken haired girl, you picked up the straps that made up your harness that you had tossed on the ground and to the side the night -or perhaps it was today, you weren't really sure at this point- before. Hanji could only try and muffle her laughter as you struggled on some parts, and all it took was a small glare sent her way before she went quiet for a second, trying her best not to further irritate you but only failing when the giggles found their way back to her. It probably took you a good five minutes to pull them on until you finally did it, "There! Geez, this is probably the hardest part of the job, screw fighting the titans."

"I have to agree with you there, it's not like we've been fighting them for a _century_ or anything, meanwhile this takes a new recruit fifteen minutes max." she jested as you put on the more mechanical part of your 3DMG, taking note that the section commander before you had already done so.

"Oh, you be quiet, you know what I mean!"

"That you're incompetent?"

Let's just say it took all of your willpower not to tackle your teasing best friend in front of you, and you just walked out of the tent -ignoring her and her laughter- and over to where Moblit was standing before the pit. A little bit of sunlight could be seen stemming from between the branches and leaves of the ancient and giant trees, and the birds that chanted the lyrics to a song unknown -yet oddly familiar- to you only added to the serene atmosphere blanketing the section of forest. The rest of Hanji's squad -the only other soldiers that had been brought save for you and Hanji- stood a comfortable distance behind the tall man, tall and straight faced as they all currently stood on guard over the titans in the pit. "The both of you know the plan, right?" Moblit queried.

"Of course! Just hop on down and set 'em free, let 'em climb out and bring terror upon hundreds of people." Hanji said sarcastically, gesturing her hands about her until they found a home on her hips, "We know what we're doing Moblit, worst comes to worst we'll use out gear to get outta there before they're fully free."

He shook his head, choosing to remain silent for a moment as he rolled his eyes and took a step back, "Then please, be my guest."

"It would be my pleasure!" Hanji yelled as she jumped into the pit without a second thought, "Yahoo!"

"W-wait for me!" you said startled, not expecting the girl to just jump in like that, ' _Granted we did that not too long ago, in the dark even, but still! C'mon, they're supposed to be waking up soon!_ '

You went in after her, feeling the wind whip around you once again as you sent out your wires to aid you in a gentle landing. Like last time you made it without falling over, even managing to not stumble as your feet planted firmly onto the ground, before you looked up ahead of you and saw Hanji already next to Albert, who -thank the Walls- was still asleep. The crazy woman was kneeling next to its face and patting its cheek, almost as if she was trying to awaken it from its slumber as she spoke to it, "Are you ready to be set free, Albert? You'll finally feel free again, you'll be able to walk around!" You weren't completely sure why, but you found yourself smiling at the image, supposing that you found it humorous in some way, shape or form that the woman who held a high position in humanity's army was acting so childish. Her eyes sparkled, still fixated on the beast before her, while you tried to snap her out of it and back onto the matter at hand, "Hanji, we have to set them free. I promise I'll let you taunt them as much as you'd like once they're free and we're out, ok?"

"It's not _taunting_. I'm just telling him what's gonna happen!"

"Yeah, yeah," you said as you stalked closer to Chicacchironi's back, the three meter, caramel haired titan that laid still in its confinements not moving, "Let's do this quickly so Moblit doesn't pee his pants."

You looked over her get into position as she finally gave in -just as excited to actually free them as she was to talk to them about freeing them- and you swore you heard her mumble, "ᴺᵒʷ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵐᵉⁿᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵃᵗ, ⁱᵗ'ˢ ᵃˡᵐᵒˢᵗ ᵏⁱⁿᵈᵃ ᵗᵉᵐᵖᵗⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ʲᵘˢᵗ ˢⁱᵗ ᵃʳᵒᵘⁿᵈ ᵈᵒʷⁿ ʰᵉʳᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᵃ ˡⁱᵗᵗˡᵉ..." Snorting, you inquired, "What'd you just say?" despite knowing what she had said.

"Nothing! Now c'mon, let's free these bad boys!"

Sending a nod her way, you signaled that you were all good to go -and after receiving a nod back from the girl confirming that she was indeed ready herself- you readied your blade at the ropes that held down the fettered monster. Steadily, you brought the sharp edge to the string and gently pushed down on it, pulling it closer and pushing it further from you until it eventually let out a quiet snap and released a tiny bit of the rope that held the titan down. You repeated the process once more, and then again and again and again. What had once taken you a little while to do was now taking you no time at all, and before you knew it, all the parts that were necessary to cut in order to free Chicacchironi were cut. With no more to do on your own titan, you took a glance at Hanji and saw that she was maybe halfway done, ' _That's actually quite impressive given how much bigger the nine meter titan is to Chica. Going at this rate though, she's bound to be cutting it close,_ ' you thought as you jogged over to her, wordlessly joining her in her task and sending a grin back at her when she sent you a grateful one, ' _Er, time wise anyways._ '

It took the both of you a few minutes, but all you had left to do left were the legs, ' _Arguably the most important part._ '

All was going good until you noticed something out of the corner of your eye and gasped, "Hanji, we need to hurry." you whispered as you noticed Chicacchironi twitch a little, "Chica's starting to move! It won't be much longer until he gets up." She took a partial glance behind her with determined eyes, given her position she needed to to look at the captive monster, "We'll make it, just stay calm and focused." As you cut the rope, you couldn't help but admire how responsible she suddenly became, ' _I guess that's only part of the criteria of being a section commander, you have to be able to keep calm in stressful environments and order others on what to do in order ro get what needs to get done, done._ '

Despite how calm she seemed, it still didn't stop you from seeing Chicacchironi's hazel eyes open and look directly at the woman, "Hanji! He's up now!"

It was almost as soon as the words came out of your mouth that you saw two soldiers from Hanji's squad jump into the pit, joining the both of you and trying to act as some sort of distraction from Hanji and you. The pair, who you had recognized as Moblit and Rashad, ran directly at the titan, yelling to get its attention as they ran right by it. You frantically cut through more ropes as their scheme seemed to work, Chicacchironi turning to the both of them before standing up and chasing after them, given that at the moment, they were closer, ' _Thank whatever holy figure there may or may not be that he's not an abnormal._ '

It didn't take much longer for the both of you to finish cutting Albert's ensnarement, and as soon as the both of you were done, Hanji let a yell rip out of her throat, "Retreat! _Now!_ " The authoritative tone her voice held, or perhaps it was because the soldiers were taught to listen and obey to commands, caused the both of them to quickly use their gear to free themselves, and you found yourself staring at them, watching how gracefully everything went until you felt a sharp tug on your hand, "C'mon!" Her cocoa orbs screamed such strong urgency that you swore you would feel it brush against your palms if you had reached out with your hands, but nevertheless you shook your head and followed her, letting go of her hand and using your own gear to get out of the pit that would surely become a hell hole should anyone end up stuck in there. Landing with a slight stumble -due to the adrenaline, you assumed- you looked back into the pit to see the three meter titan trying to reach up the walls and get up with you, "Are you guys ok?" Hanji asked -glancing at you first before turning away once she saw a nod- and looked at Rashad and Moblit, "Of course, Section Commander Hanji." Rashad said, looking a little startled but fine over all. Moblit joined in, pushing some of his light brown hair to the side as he squinted his eyes at the ground in thought, "Yes, section commander, I'm ok."

A second of silence passed over the area, those of you that had just gone into the pit quiet in thought and the ones who had stayed up and ready to jump in at any given moment processing what had happened and trying to mentally prepare themselves for a future event where they themselves might need to do that. "Well, that was fun, wasn't it?" Hanji asked with a smile that she sent your way, indicating that the prior events hadn't scarred her in any way, "Sure was," you said as you took a breath, "A real close one too."

"That was our first time trying it though," she said as she walked to your side and looked down at the beast with you, "And I don't mean the two of us, or even anyone else here. I mean in the history of forever."

Studying the titan, you spoke optimistically, "I'm sure we'll find something great outta it, we have to. With however many more opportunities that have just opened to us with free range tests, the possibilities are endless."

Hanji sat down at the wall, feet dangling over the edge as you could practically hear Moblit's nerves going over the edge, and quite honestly, you couldn't completely blame him after what had just happened. Sending him a reassuring smile to hopefully calm him a little, you sat down next to her and watched Albert, who seemed to just be starting to wake up, ' _Geez, that was just Chica. I don't even wanna imagine if it was Albert who was coming after me, that seems almost like a guaranteed death. The only advantage there'd be is a higher chance of delayed reactions given his size, but even then those aren't certain._ '

"Well, are you ready to hop back in soon?" Hanji asked as she turned her head towards you, the golden rays that casted onto her face trying to convince you of a calmer atmosphere than there actually was.

"What do you mean?"

"You've already forgotten what we're going to be testing on today?"

"I..." you started as you realized that yes, you actually had let whatever events were planned for the rest of the day to slip your mind, "I'm afraid I have." you admitted.

"'Suppose Moblit was directing his question at you before."

"Oh, just tell me what's going on already." you grumbled while casting her a jovial glare, "In my defence, it's been a busy past few days."

"I'm just joking," she said before getting back to the topic at hand, leaning forwards and drinking in the image of the three meter titan trying to get up to the both of you, "Today we're going to be answering, or at least trying to answer; 'Do bigger titans take longer to regenerate parts of their body because they are bigger pieces to regenerate overall?' and 'Do the regenerated parts of the titan regrow to the same exact measurements?'"

"Mmm," you hummed as you took in the questions, "That's right, I remember now. We're gonna go in there and cut off their arms, one at a time while running around, and put rocks down to keep the measurements of the severed bits there until we can go in and properly measure them, right?"

"Yup! Moblit's gonna make a quick sketch of the pit, and mark down which measurement is from who, and which one it was. Y'know, to see if the more the titan has to regenerate, the less effort is put into regeneration or something. If the more it has to regenerate in a short amount of time has a bigger strain on it's regenerated parts or even it in general as it goes on. Oh, and Nifa and Abel are going to keep track of how long it takes each titan to regenerate each time." Looking back down in the pit only confirmed that Albert was in the early process of waking up when you started to hear the loud and thundering footfalls of the massive giant. But even the nine meter titan couldn't reach the top of the pit, the best it could do was reach up while on it's tip toes and still be short by a good six meters or so, ' _Let's just hope they don't figure some way out of that pit that we didn't think of._ '

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"Hanji! Focus on putting the rocks down!"

"But I wanna stay with Chica up close some more!"

"You can do that later, just go!"

"Fine, fine!" the dark haired girl shouted back as she did as she was instructed, turning her back to you and the titan that was running after you as she split off and raced over to the forearm that your blades had cut through. It was the last one that had to have the rocks placed next to it before everything had to be waited out until the titans were sleeping once again, where you would then measure the lengths and record the data. Hanji picked up a few rocks she saw on the ground on the way, and by the time she got to the severed and steaming appendage, she had a sufficient supply to place at both ends.

Thankfully, the rest of Hanji's squad was hanging partially off of the walls of the pit, distracting Albert as he tried his best to reach for them and keeping his watchful eyes off of you. Even as you ran with Chicacchironi hot on your tail however, you couldn't help but flicker your eyes over to the giant every once and awhile, ' _Because even if it looks like they have it all under control, who knows what could happen._ ' Sweat was dripping out of your pores as you forced yourself to continue, knowing that with every pound your feet met the ground would make the aftermath even more agonizing for your aching muscles. You listened attentively for a call from Hanji -one that would grant you permission to fly out of the pit and to safety where you could wait it out until the moon shone from above to continue- and took a sharp turn around a ginormous boulder -using your gear a little to help you keep your balance at the sudden turn- as you heard Chicacchironi skid and quickly make the same turn you had.

"We're good to go!" Hanji yelled to you as she waved her hands frantically, trying to get your attention from her position a good twenty meters away, "Got it!" you yelled back. Running to the walls of the pit, you managed to pull yourself away with your wires as you felt a swish of air behind you, presumably the arm that hadn't been cut off by you, as you swung up the wall. You landed suddenly, catching your balance before leaning over and putting your hands on your knees, hearing a softer set of fast - _human_ \- footfalls coming in your direction, "(Y/N)!" Hanji yelled as she skidded to a stop in front of you, jumping up and down in her excitement, "That was so cool! We need to do that again sometime soon!"

"Pfft," you started as you tried to fight off a smile at her enthusiasm -some would call it misplaced, but knowing Hanji, you would say any other reaction from her other than a smile would be uncharacteristic- standing up now as you properly addressed her, "I don't think some people would be too happy about that."

"Oh c'mon, I'm sure we'll be able to get back in there soon while they're kicking around. We've just gotta wait for the right time!" You opened your mouth to respond as you heard the other soldiers who were at the scene walk over to the two of you, Moblit carrying his sketch where he had written down where each arm had fallen and all the needed information and Abel and Nifa each holding their own pocket journals with the recorded generation time.

"Nifa, Abel, let me see what you guys got!" she said excitedly while stretching her arms out for the journals before adding, "Please, that is."

Wordlessly, the two soldiers obeyed before taking a step back, falling in line with the other soldiers who were already in some fort of makeshift formation. You walked up to Hanji to take a look at the data, and she handed one of the ones she wasn't looking at currently to you so you could take a look;

**ALBERT**

******1ST TIME: 21 SECONDS**

******2ND TIME: 89 SECONDS**

******3RD TIME: 15 SECONDS**

You assumed the handwriting was Nifa's -you partly recognized the script, having read her notes that she had taken before when asked during other experiments- and it wasn't too long after you shifted your eyed over to the notebook Hanji's brown orbs were scanning over, seemingly studying the text and trying to commit it to memory as soon as humanly possible;

**Chicachironi**

******First: 61 seconds.**

******Second: 12 seconds.**

******Third: 93 seconds.**

For a second you found yourself observing the two very different kinds of handwriting, looking at how one had written in all capital letters and the other had underlined and -just like you- misspelled the shorter titan's name, ' _Abel did get it more right than I had though, so props to him I suppose._ '

"It doesn't seem like there's any consistent pattern, does it?" Hanji asked, and you became aware of how she was now looking over the journal that rested in your palms.

"No," you admitted, "Not really. Not only did it take Chica more time to regenerate his arm overall -therefore debunking the thought that bigger limbs took longer to regenerate- but the times for each titan are inconsistent among themselves."

"Just what I was thinking! If Albert took less time to regenerate for all three turns, it would at least have something stagnant within the results. But given that Chicacchironi had one that only took him twelve seconds and Albert had one that took him eighty-nine, it doesn't really seem like there is anything consistent going on here." Looking up at her, you responded while starting to take out your own field journal that remained in your left breast pocket, "We should probably copy these down, huh?"

"Yeah, it wouldn't hurt." she said as she copied you, taking out hers and her pencil before flipping to a blank page, overlapping Abel's behind her own so she could hold them both and write at the same time, "One of us will have to copy down the data from the other's notebook too when we go down to actually measure them, the cut of limbs in the pit, y'know? Unless you want the both of us to write all that down, but it might be easier to only have one of us focusing on that."

"Agreed," you said, "We should also move the rocks a little once we record them so we don't find ourselves measuring one of them twice or something."

"Sounds good enough to me." Hanji replied as she scribbled the information down. Once the two of you had finished, and Hanji had ordered the soldiers to make sure they kept the unfettered titans away from the rocks that served as markers, you headed back into your tent -spending the rest of the day to calm down a little- you filling out the necessary paperwork that would be sent in the mail to Erwin and joining Hanji in studying notes about the titans once you had finished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated July 28, 2020! On a complete side note, I got my hair cut today lmao, it feels really weird having short hair again
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!!!!


	14. Dummies

**Tuesday, April 30, 850 at 11:41**

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**

You carefully avoided your finger as you pulled the needle and thread through the pale cloth -that had a hint of a slight bronze- trying your best to avoid staining it with your blood should you pick your finger. Currently, both you and Hanji Zoë were sitting inside your shared tent, sitting on your respective cots in silence as the both of you worked on the body of the two dummies you were trying to make, ' _I really wonder if Chica and Albert will go after these dummies we're making. I mean, if they do, this could potentially be something that we could exploit on expeditions, we could try and throw dummies at titans who are getting too close to the center of formation should anything happen. Or maybe use them to distract the titans away from the exit of the Walls when we leave for said expeditions, try to lure them away without risking the lives of fellow soldiers. If they ignore them however, it means that they can't easily be tricked via visuals. At least I think anyways, because if they aren't fooled by these, with how accurately we're going to try and make them, then they probably use their sense of smell to distinguish where humans are and aren't. Of course, it could always be a mix of both senses..._ '

Letting out a small sigh, you straightened your back and focused on your work once more. Since the last experiment, the one where you and the section commander had cut off their limbs for measurement, you hadn't really progressed much as the last few days had been spent mostly observing how the titans react in their new environment. It was safe to say that they hadn't acted any different -other than moving around a lot more given that they weren't tied down any longer- and your notebook remained unwritten in since that last experiment.

"Hey Hanji? Did you ever copy down my notes from the other day?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"The notes from when we had to go down in the dark and measure how long their arms had been, from the rocks and stuff."

"Oh," she said as it dawned on her what you were talking about, "Yeah, after you had gone to sleep that night I had remembered and well, I uh, _borrowed_ your journal for a little to copy them down."

You snorted as you observed the way she kind of shrugged her shoulders out of the corner of your eye while placing the emphasis in 'borrowed', "Eh, it's whatever. At least you've got 'em copied down and stuff."

"Actually, I've been meaning to ask," she started, "Personally, I'm almost certain that they regenerated to the same measurements, or if they didn't, it was so miniscule that it wasn't big enough to be able to make a distinguishable difference. But what do you think?"

Taking a moment to think, you stopped sewing and processed the data in your head once more, ' _I mean, everything about the titans is so strange. I wouldn't be that surprised if they honestly did regenerate to the same exact measurements, it certainly seems like it anyways, Hanji isn't wrong._ '

"I guess they had regenerated the limbs back to the same length," you began, "Or at least like you said, the small difference couldn't be told. Either way, the potential difference won't hinder or help us, so I suppose in the end it would almost be irrelevant in the big scheme of things, right?"

Giving a small scoff, the sepia hair of the woman swayed back and forth slightly as she shook her head, "Nothing about the titans are irrelevant! Who knows, the smallest detail could lead to the biggest breakthrough."

"I do agree, to beat the titans we need to know a whole awful lot about them, but will this one tiny detail make so much of a difference?"

"Do you really want me to go on this whole spiel on how any bit of information on the titans could be fundamental in turning the war against them?"

"..."

"Ok, ok," you relented, "I must say, any information we can get does technically have the chance of being helpful, yes."

You focused back on to your stitches as silence filled the atmosphere one more, and for a fleeting moment, the memory of the titan's seemingly daily torture was whisked away from your mind. Making a few final stitches on the left leg of the dummy, a question wandered into your head, "What ever did make you join the Scouts?"

"I haven't told you?"

"I don't remember it anyways." you admitted.

"Ah, that's understandable. If I did tell you it was probably a long time ago." she said, before continuing in a softer tone, "I don't think it was of my own intuition that I went through training, although at the time I convinced myself it was that way. Where I had grown up there were a lot of kids who had always dreamed of joining the military. Some of the biggest reasons I remember hearing were things along the lines of wanting safety deeper within the Walls as an MP, wanting to be able to protect themselves and their family should something ever happen, or simply wanting to impress their friends and family with how strong, brave and conditioned they were. I guess I kinda just went with the flow and joined them, y'know? I had nothing else I wanted to do, so why not?"

You listened to her words, taking them in and piping in when she had gone quiet, "Why did you choose the Survey Corps in particular?"

Looking up at her for a slight moment told you that she was smiling as she remembered the reason why, and you found yourself smiling as she began to speak. However, the turn of your lips started to fade as you realized that the sweet smile she wore was tainted with a bitter memory, "At the time I was foolish, childish even. I bet some people would say nothing has changed," she paused her speech for a moment to let a melodic laugh slip past her lips, one that completely contrasted with how she had looked a few seconds ago as she started to regain that more carefree nature of hers, "I remember the night we were to choose what branch of the military we would join rather vividly, but I suppose such a life altering event would tend to be recalled easily. Anyways, to cut it short, I didn't have the chance to join the MPs solely because I hadn't ranked high enough, and I didn't join the Garrison because I couldn't see myself wasting away on top of some wall, a religious structure or not." Nodding your head, you understood where she was coming from, ' _I myself hadn't scored high enough to even join the MPs, but I wouldn't have chosen them even if I could have. I just wanted adventure, as dangerous as it may or may not have been. And what better way to get adventure than joining the Survey Corps?_ '

"Hey (Y/N)?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

Quirking your brow, you responded, "Uh-oh. Shoot, I'm all ears."

"Do you like..." she started as she trailed off, the inquiry dying at the tip of her tongue as her hesitance shone through and overpowered her original decision to ask you something.

"Do I like...?" you restated what she had said, egging her on to continue where she was going with the question. Yet again, nothing was said for a second, and you had started to wonder if she had even heard you when she finally spoke up, "Do you like... titans?"

Scrunching your brow, you looked over to the brunette who had conveniently turned at that exact moment to reach for something, blocking her face from your view and leaving you to only turn back to your handiwork, feeling slightly puzzled, "Well, I like experimenting on them. I feel like I can help humanity the most when testing them, and I feel like I'm filling my purpose in life in some way. I guess I'm glad they keep me busy, and I'm definitely enthusiastic to learn more about them, but if I had the chance to rid them all I would do so in a heartbeat. So I suppose my answer overall is no."

"Yeah, I get where you're coming from with that." she said before her eyes lit up and you could see her whip her head towards you -causing you to look up at her as well as your eyes met- as she effectively changed the topic before you could even question why she had asked that, "Oh! I know this is kinda coming out of nowhere, but do you think we could try and base the dummies off of each other?"

"I... guess so? It'd at least be something kinda fun to do while we're making them I suppose." you said as you glanced over to the (S/C) coloured cloth that laid in Hanji's hands, repeatedly being sutured together to form something that was supposed to look like a human. Looking down at the one that was in your own hands, you noted that it greatly resembled Hanji's own skin tone, ' _Huh, that's kinda strange, but I guess at least the colours are accurate to those seen in real people. I'm actually kind of more surprised that I didn't realize the resemblance sooner though._ ' Not too long after you agreed to it, Hanji spoke up, "Just try not to make me look too silly-looking."

You sent a roll of your eyes her way, snorting a little as you said, "You already do that well enough on your own, y'know. You don't need my help."

Sending a fake gasp your way, you noted that she tightened the string that would attach the leg to the torso of the (Y/N) dummy, "(Y/N)! I thought you were my friend! Oh, how will I ever recover from such a serious stab to my ego as that?"

"Yeah, yeah, ok _Drama Queen_."

"First I'm the Queen of Drool, and now I'm the Queen of Drama? Besides, it's not like you can talk, missy. If I'm the Drama Queen, you must share the throne with me or something because there is no way you're not on par with me, if not, more."

You went silent for a moment, thinking over what she had said and feeling slightly conflicted, ' _Wouldn't that mean she would have to like girls? Last time I checked she didn't, but I guess I've technically never really checked, I kinda just inferred based on how she never said otherwise. Eh, it was probably just a slip up on her part, so I'll just tease her on that._ '

"Well that's just simply not possible."

"Oh? And why's that?"

"You don't even like girls, so you must rule the kingdom all by yourself silly." you said as you giggled and rolled your eyes -letting a somewhat cocky grin adorn your face- as you smirked at her, looking as if you had her cornered and you were going to win the "argument". However, you did not expect her next words, "Who said I didn't like girls?"

You snapped your head up and raised a brow at the girl who was looking intently at you, her cheeks that slightly reddened -in what you assumed was some form of embarrassment- matching with your own blush that soon blossomed upon your face, "I..." you sputtered for a second, not exactly expecting that turn of events before regaining yourself, "I guess I just assumed you didn't."

"Maybe there's a lot of things you don't know about me," she let out a little chuckle as she turned back to her hands and echoed the question to you, "What about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, do you like girls?"

"I...Geez, I," you paused for a second, pondering over how you should go about this before deciding now was the time to tell her the truth, "...I wasn't expecting to come out of the closet today..."

"I'll take that as a yes," Hanji said while giggling a small bit, soon going quiet afterwards as the both of you felt an awkwardness dampen the atmosphere, opting to focus on the dummies in your hands. As you started to sew the last part that needed to be added -the head of the dummy fitting snugly on top of the torso- you flickered your eyes over to Hanji's own progress -seeing that she was almost done attaching the last part she needed to as well- when all the sudden the flap door to the tent opened and Moblit entered the tent, "Would you guys like lunch?"

Seemingly taking advantage of the small window that would allow her to rid the room of the partially uncomfortable air, Hanji replied to the caramel headed man, "Nah, I don't really want anything, I'd rather focus on this. I don't know what (Y/N) would like though."

Sending a grin to the man, you answered Hanji's unspoken question, "We're almost done, there's no point in stopping right now. Thank you though, Moblit."

Shaking his head, he made his way further from the door and closer to the pair of you, "You guys better eat a good dinner," he started, "It is my job after all to ensure the well being of you Hanji, and consequently you too (Y/N)."

"Eh, yeah, yeah, we'll eat," she said, waving her hand -after she had put down the (Y/N) dummy, having finished all of the main stitching- as if brushing off his words like he had said nothing while she stood up, "What's been going on with you? With the rest of my squad?"

"What's been going on with me, section commander? So far, my day has mostly been just waiting around near the soldiers on guard, partially watching over them as they were on shift and making sure that the soldiers who are not on guard aren't doing anything out of line."

"ᵀʰᵉ ᵂᵃˡˡˢ, ʲᵒᵏᵉˢ ᵃˢⁱᵈᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ᵃʳᵉ ʲᵘˢᵗ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵃ ᵐᵒᵐ..." Hanji muttered, seeming to remember you were here when she heard you snicker and smiled as Moblit rose a brow at her comment, "I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that." he said with a sigh, and although based on his dialogue alone one could guess that he may have been deeply annoyed at what she had said, one look at his grin that he was fighting off told you otherwise, ' _Perhaps he likes the idea of being the mother of the group, maybe it makes him feel more at home or something._ '

"Anyways," Moblit continued, "The rest of your squad is doing well, Nifa was whispering to Abel while in line again, but other than that, nothing much has happened."

"Albert and Chicacchironi haven't done much either, right? Or if they did, someone wrote it down for analysis later, no?"

"Yes, section commander," the tall man said to the shorter woman, a slight drawl hidden in his voice -that had the potential to be dragged out from its hiding spot and brought into the light should Moblit will it to do so- but given how strict the male was, it wasn't surprising when the drag disappeared altogether as he continued, "They haven't done anything nor has anyone had to write anything down. You had instructed us to call you over should anything happen, remember?"

"I do remember, I was just making sure, that's all." Hanji clarified as you put down the life size mannequin -that you had just finished sewing together- on your cot, standing up and joining the two of them, "Where are the materials to do the hair and face stuff anyways?"

"They're in the storage area, in one of the crates that we had brought over. Do you want me to bring them over, captain?"

"It's (Y/N), and if you wouldn't mind."

"Not a problem, Captain (Y/N)." he replied, undoubtedly, yet subtly, teasing you as he continued to use the title you had been given two, almost three, years ago while also saying your name. Sending a playful glare at his cunningness that he wouldn't see while he walked out, you heard Hanji speak up with a slight laugh, "I'm pretty sure that's not gonna work, I've been trying for years to try and get him to call me Hanji and not once has he slipped up."

"Wait, you've seriously been trying for years?" you asked in slight disbelief, relieved that the awkwardness that had hung in the air had dissipated, ' _That's actually rather impressive now that I think about it. I'm not sure if I would be able to do something like that for so long. If I had the option to use a shorter name, I'd either forget to use the longer one or get too lazy to use the titles in the end._ '

"Just about anyways. He can be really determined at times when it comes to certain things, he just rarely shows it for some reason."

**Wednesday, May 1, 850 at 13:19**

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Moblit stuck his hand above his head from the other side of the pit, a thumbs up and a slightly concerned face displayed as he signaled to both you and Hanji that the two titans were distracted and the experiment was ready to commence. Yesterday, after the same male had returned with the materials needed to complete the dummies, you and Hanji had quickly gotten back to work on your, as Moblit had dubbed it, "arts and crafts" so you could get back to experimentation. Despite your best efforts though, neither of you had finished the dummies until late into the day, as the sun's rays had already been so obscured by the leaves that it had gotten dark out and at that point, it wouldn't be much longer until the titans would be shutting down for the night. So without much of a choice, the actual experiment was forced to be postponed until the following day, and the dummies -which did end up greatly resembling both you and Hanji- ended up laying on the ground for the night to be put in the titan pit when morning came.

That was the plan at least, but after a while of either titan getting distracted away from the group of soldiers who were there to specifically distract the titans from you and Hanji entering the pit -you couldn't just throw them in there, they might just be dummies, but they look and weigh about the same as a human, and if it were to land badly and tear or break somewhere, the whole experiment would be ineffective- you thought that another postponement might be in order. Thankfully, it seemed like the group had finally been able to capture the attention of both of the titans, which had caused Moblit to signal over to you guys that it was safe to enter.

Slipping your right arm underneath the lifesize doll's head and the other one under its knees, you lifted with your legs and picked up the Hanji dummy from the ground -you were actually quite proud with how well it had turned out, and were a little saddened that it could possibly be torn to shreds despite all of the hard work and labour you had put in it. Noting that Hanji did the same to the (Y/N) dummy -it was inverse in her arms, her right arm underneath its knees and her left arm underneath its head- you sent a determined look to confirm that she was ready to go. When the woman gave you a nod, the both of you -wordlessly- shot out your 3DMG wires and did your best to keep silent as your feet touched upon the dirty ground after gracefully making your way down.

Looking at the towering beasts while they were awake and free, all while without a horse, was a new kind of terrifying. You couldn't help how the scenes played out in your head; one where they suddenly turned around and went after you before you could get out, one where your gear stopped working for the Walls know what reason and trapping you down here with there horrid monsters to tear your flesh apart, one where they turned around and went after Hanji, and despite both your and her best efforts the woman died in their clutches, screaming in agony as she was helpless in their grasps and you stuck there to watch it all unfold until they finally turned to you to finish you off as well.

Holding back a gasp -and slightly blinking your eyes to will away tiny tears that had just started to bubble- you turned your attention back on Hanji, ' _The best way to get this over with is to place these dummies down and get out of here. That is why we came down here after all._ ' You noticed that Hanji was placing her dummy against the wall of the pit, sitting it up and struggling to get it to sit upright, and you soon brought your own over and sat it next to hers. The pair of them were both dressed in a Survey Corps uniform, clothing the dummies in extra outfits that the both of you had brought over the day prior to finish the mannequin making process. Hanji had even managed to pull out an extra pair of prescriptionless goggles for you to fit on the dummy to add onto the look, and with the thin mahogany threads Moblit had supplied for hair, your dummy truly did look like the section commander. That's not to say that she had gotten hers inaccurate though, in fact, the first time that your eyes had laid upon her finished creation it had startled you how well she had done. It's (E/C) glass eyes were a little darker than your actual ones -and the (S/C) skin was without any imperfections, giving it a slight unnatural feel- but other than that, she had been able to match your (H/C) hair and body type perfectly on the dummy.

"Here, let's lean them against each other." Hanji said in a quiet whisper, seeing that you were having trouble keeping the dummy from falling over. Catching onto why she suggested that rather quickly, you nodded your head and pushed the Hanji dummy in the direction of the (Y/N) dummy, letting out a small huff of satisfaction when you observed the both of them canceling out each other's fall. You took a step back, barely noticing how a swirl in the pit of your stomach twisted unfamiliarly -not in an unpleasant way, yet it left you confused- as you drank in the image, and allowing yourself to be pulled away and follow Hanji's lead out of the pit using your gear.

Once the both of you had made it to the top of the pit, you looked back to see the group of soldiers that had been distracting the titans step away further from the ledge and consequently out of the titan's view. With now nothing at the top to motivate them to reach out, it only took them a few moments -not anything longer than a minute- before they took a gander around what the pit had to offer to them. By the time the other soldiers had just about made their way over to you and Hanji, the brunette had joined your side to observe the titan's reactions, the titans already had a sickening and twisted grin on their faces -one that would surely send shivers down anyone's spines if they had to witness it up close. Glancing your eyes over at the dummies, you couldn't help but pity them the smallest bit, even if they were inanimate. The Hanji dummy's head rested upon the (Y/N) dummy's own head, and from this far the two of them really did look like innocent civilians resting peacefully for their last few moments before they were forced to accept their terrible fate. A closer look at them told you that the (Y/N) dummy's hand had fallen on top of the other dummy's hand, and you couldn't help the small blush that dusted over your face as you connected the image to the idea of a couple, ' _Why? Just why did that have to happen? Why am I even thinking these things?! It's weird, and I should be ashamed to think of something like that considering Hanji is my best friend and, technically, a higher up! So stop it already brain!_ '

Forcing yourself to pay attention once more, you saw that Chicachironi was already running over to the dummies, seemingly falling for the trap. Albert on the other hand, continued towards them at a slower pace, and although it was uncertain whether or not he was doing it to terrify and tease his "prey", it was very clear that he too had fallen for the dummies' appearance. No one spoke a word as Chicacchironi picked up the (Y/N) dummy, said dummy falling over in its hand and limply leaning towards the titan as it lifted it above its head. There were a few seconds where time seemed to freeze, and almost as if there were a real human in its grasp, you could help but wait with baited breath.

Then, it let go. And it fell.

Chicacchironi snapped its jaw tightly against the torso, effectively ripping the dummy in half as it shook its head, the momentum being the factor that pulled its torso apart from its legs while you noticed Hanji flinch a little out of the corner of your eye, ' _I guess she feels bad for the dummies too._ ' you guessed as you zoned back in on the titans. The lack of crunching of bones and screaming of pain left the sight giving off an uncanny feel, yet it was still enough to trigger unpleasant memories of fellow comrades who had fallen in the battle against those tyrannical monsters. You let out a shudder as you saw Albert finally catch up and grasp the Hanji dummy in its hold, bringing its head up to its lips before it parted them and placed it in it's mouth. Albert seemingly toyed with it, rolling its head between its teeth until it quickly got bored and crushed the skull of the dummy in its mouth. Turning your head away from the sight, you spoke, "I guess they will still attack dummies that just look like humans."

"Yeah..." Hanji said as she turned herself away from the pit as well, "Clearly they don't use their sense of smell to detect if something is a human or not, and given that they didn't use any of their other senses, save for sight, they probably just look at us and see us as prey. Although I'm certain that making noise gives us away as well, but it's only when they look at us do they show true motivation to attack."

Taking out your journal, you nodded as you met your eyes with hers, "I agree, do you want to write down how they acted in your journal and I'll write down the conclusion we came to to save time? We'll just copy 'em down later again, y'know?"

"Sounds like a plan to me." she said with a small weary grin.

Tearing your eyes from her, you started to write stuff down as you questioned the mocha haired girl, "Are you ok Hanji? Usually you're not this torn up after an experiment."

"Oh, uh, yeah, I'm fine." she said as she shifted her weight, "I just, uh, I didn't think that seeing them eat the dummies like that would shake me up so much. I just saw them, ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒⁿᵉ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ˡᵒᵒᵏᵉᵈ ˡⁱᵏᵉ..." she said as she trailed off, picking up her thoughts as she erased something and presumably replaced one word with another, "I just couldn't help but replace the dummies with actual people I know or knew, and it was... unsettling. But I'm ok."

Sympathetically, you gently patted her shoulder to try and comfort the woman who always looked so carefree, seeing small cracks in her façade for a brief second before you pulled your hand back. It went quiet once, and nothing was to be heard except for the scribbling of your pencils on the parchment, the rustling of the leaves in the background, and the two titans tearing the life size dummies apart behind you, ' _Poor Hanji, she doesn't deserve to have to go through all of this. Nobody does really... I just wish that these stupid things would be gone already!_ ' Turning your focus back to your writing, you bit back a sigh as you realized that you had written down part of your thoughts. You erased the unnecessary, extra words and continued to finish up what you needed to. Just as you wrote the last word and put a period at the end of the sentence, Hanji's voice sounded, "Seeing this kind of makes me wonder, if some aggressive animal that wasn't a human attacked a titan, would the titan defend itself? Or would it just ignore it?"

"I'm not sure," you mumbled as you flipped through the pages of your journal before landing on one that was dedicated towards questions, "Write it down?"

"I would say so." Hanji said with a sigh, turning her head and peering into the death pit that the titans were in. About halfway through writing it, Moblit's voice jumped in, "Captain and section commander?"

"Huh?" "Hm?"

"Could I propose a possible addition to that?"

"Of course," Hanji started, "Whatcha got?"

"Well, after I heard what you had asked Section Commander Hanji, I couldn't help but ponder if other titans, that noticed a titan being attacked by another animal, would join in and attack that animal as well."

"Like if they'll lose interest in humans in preference to the animal that's attacking the one titan?" you piped in.

"No, what I'm trying to say is, what if an animal attacked Chicacchironi while no humans were around? Would Albert defend him? Or would he just continue lumbering around?"

"Oh! I getcha now!" you said, slightly enthusiastic at the thought of seeing this one play out, ' _After all, this could prove to be one of the most useful things we've learned from the titans if it's true. We could train animals to get a titans attention and try to scamper off before it gets caught, and then we would be able to go out on expeditions easier!_ '

A pensive look passed across Hanji's face, one that you had almost missed, before a grin broke out on her face, "Write that one down, we'll try to test it at the same time!"

Smiling, you let yourself scribble down the words as the girl spoke up once more, "Tomorrow morning we'll set out into the forest to try and find an animal that fits the criteria, and we'll keep looking until we find what we're looking for!" Her two -quite contrasting- responses came from you and Moblit, one a feminine giggle and the other a small, barely audible groan of protest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated August 5, 2020!


	15. The Search

**Thursday, May 2, 850 at 11:34**

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You put your hands out in front of you, holding them together as both you and Moblit waited while listening to any sounds the forest provided. More often than not the peaceful chirping of a bird could be heard from above, and if you strained your ears enough, you could even hear the occasional squirrel or chipmunk scatter around in the branches hanging above your heads. As you glanced your head up, after hearing an animal rustle the leaves once more, you spoke up, "Four hours and no animals found, just our luck, huh?"

"It seems so, captain." he responded.

It was turning out to be true. After all, the three of you -Moblit, Hanji and yourself- had been wandering in this forest just looking for some sort of aggressive animal, ' _I guarantee if we were not looking for one and just wanted to go on a walk there would be twenty different animals all trying to jump us at once. Maybe we should've just said that we were going on a walk to Hanji's squad, perhaps fate would've been nicer to us._ ' you thought before holding back a scoff, remembering the gigantic beasts that preyed on you for the past century, ' _Not that fate has ever been known to be kind to us anyways._ ' The best you had came across was a skunk, but the black and white striped animal didn't exactly fill the criteria you all had in mind; the animal had to be aggressive, strong enough to inflict damage on a titan, and not so small that it would just be trampled.

Shaking your head slightly at Moblit's insistence to use your title, you turned your head from the sky and patted the tranquiliser darts you had in a pouch (each of you had one) attached to your leg -the small pouch fit snuggly, secured to your leg via two belts going horizontally at the top and bottom of said pouch.

All of the sudden you heard fast footfalls to your right, and snapping your head into the direction it came from provided you no visuals as a thick layer of shrubbery laid in between you and the creature. Moblit, who came up to your side, tensed and drew his 3DMG blades while you opted to take out your tranquiliser dart so then you could shoot it should this animal fit the criteria. You could see the leaves of the bush start to shudder, and unknowingly you took in a breath before a ball of brown shot out of the shrub.

"Guys! I'm back!"

It was only Hanji.

"Section Commander Hanji, you should be more careful! That could've ended really badly!"

"Eh, it's all good. I'm fine," she said as she jabbed her thumb to her chest, "You're fine," she said, pointing a finger at Moblit, "And she's fine!" she said lastly, throwing a digit your way as well, "No harm, no fowl, right?"

"Sure, sure," you replied with a roll of your eyes, trying to hide a smile that was growing on your face, "Let's just keep moving, I really wanna see this experiment through."

"You don't have to tell me twice," she spoke, walking ahead and taking the lead, "C'mon you slow pokes."

Currently, the three of you weren't following any sort of direction consciously, just wandering where ever some small paths took you. Well, if you could even call them _paths_. The slightly cleared sections of forest more greatly resembled a skinny trail at best, yet you all found yourselves not straying from it and opting to take what little clearing of tall grass and bushes it gave. At first you were just going wherever you could, not taking the man made, dirt-covered paths as you figured that animals would tend to stay away from them. But after a while you had all reached a miniature path, the one you were currently on, and decided that it wouldn't hurt to follow it.

"What took you so long anyways?" you asked, curious as to why the girl who promised she would take five minutes at most, had taken almost fifteen. About ten minutes in, Moblit had started suggesting that the two of you should go and look for her, and despite the tug in your own chest that worried for the woman's safety, you assured the male that she was just fine and probably got distracted.

"Well, there was this pre-" she started before she cut herself off, "Nevermind, that's for me to know and for you to find out!" she blurted out after a moment, turning and giving you finger guns with a slight sprinkle of red on her cheeks, ' _Probably because she almost spilled whatever secret she was trying to keep._ '

Snickering, you kept up your pace behind her, ducking under a lower branch that was in your way, "You better tell me later then."

"Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough."

You slightly sweat dropped at how ominous she was being, but shaking it off as her just trying to keep your attention on it or something, you pushed it to the back of your mind and focused on the job at hand. Not too long after the words flowed out of her mouth however, loud bangs shot through the air, quickly making all three of you halt in your tracks as the atmosphere sank from it's light and almost carefree feel to a considerably more serious and heavied one. Gunshots.

"That didn't come from the base, right?" you asked, a concerned look etched onto your face as you whispered, not wanting to alert any potential threats that could be nearby at the moment, related to the gunshots or not. Despite the reason you came out here, your primal instincts of quieting down got the best of you.

"No," Moblit spoke up, "The camp is behind us, and these came from our northeast."

"Let's go," Hanji said, her usual smile gone from her face as her more authoritative side came out, starting to head towards the sounds, "It's our duty as soldiers to protect civilians."

This time, a lone bullet shot through the air, the only evidence you had of it ever happening being the loud thundering crackle that sounded throughout the forest.

"What if they're just hunting?" you asked as you followed closely behind, Moblit trailing not far behind you.

"Chances are it wouldn't have been as many shots, or at least not that irregular. Nonetheless, it wouldn't hurt to check it out."

Picking up the pace, the three of you managed the best run you could through the thick brush, having steered off the path to get there faster. After a while the three of you came onto one of the many dirt roads -carriages often traveled along it, you had even used one to get to the base with Albert and Chicacchironi- that littered the woods. Hanji darted across the opening the road made as she took out her blades, running into the shrubbery at the other side and cutting a small tree that was in her way with ease. Following the path she was making, you couldn't help but think, ' _In all of my three-ish years of working with Hanji, I don't think I've ever seen her look so determined._ '

Three more shots could be heard, not that far this time, and yells could be heard -starting as something you had to strain your ears to hear over the sound of your own feet and breaths, and ending as something that made you crease your brows in worry as you easily made out their words, " _He's gone over 'ere, get 'im!_ " " _I'm tryin', but I can't hit either one of 'em!_ " " _Well don't let either of 'ose bastards get closer, ya hear me?!"_

Hanji abruptly stopped her running and soon enough you saw why; you came to a cliff, one that overlooked a small village where the shouts and yells were coming from. From here you could smell livestock -the sweet smell of a farm overtaking your nostrils almost instantaneously- as you looked to Hanji. The section commander had her brows furrowed, squinted eyes peering down at the village as she tried her best to make out what was going on down there. Noticing that her hair partly covered her eyes -it got even more jostled up due to her running, and you couldn't help but observe that a few of the strands were plastered to the side of her face, held down by sweat- you could only wonder how she was able to see anything clearly before you shook your head, trying to focus yourself on the task at hand, ' _Focus (Y/N)! Now is not the time for you to be having these weird thoughts!_ '

"Down?" you whispered, trying to keep your words short to save time and make up for what time you had just wasted.

"Yup, (Y/N) come with me but wait for my signal to come down and stay behind cover once I call you over, we can't see what's going on yet. Moblit, I want you to stick by close, but stay up in the trees so you have an advantage if anything goes fishy. This could be some sort of gang business, so if it turns out that these people are hurting others, and if it comes to it..." she trailed off for a second, studying the ground before looking up at the man with her hardened oak eyes, then turning her gaze to you, "...you both have permission to do what is necessary to make sure no innocent civilians get hurt." Her eyes held a seriousness, and you knew that it was this very mindset of hers that she was showing right now -the one that secreted authority and a strictness that was rather unlike the woman- was the one that had convinced Erwin to give the brunette her position as a section commander in the Survey Corps.

' _I pray to whatever god or gods there may or may not be, please don't have it come down to that. I don't think I'll have the strength to kill or hurt somebody, a monster or not._ '

Nodding your head at Hanji's words to show you understood, you heard Moblit give a soft and somber, "Got it, section commander." clearly understanding just as well as you did what she was implying.

Not too long after, you watched as she jumped off, hands above her head as she freefell with her hair whipping upwards, and for a moment you couldn't help but just watch as she managed to gracefully use the gear that she had been using for who knows how long. Leaning over the ledge a little, you watched as she shot out her wires and caught herself on trees that silently supported her weight, swinging to the side and pushing her back against a big tree to take cover once she landed. Then she signaled for you to follow.

Letting out a shaky sigh, you backed up before jumping off the cliff as well -flashbacks going through your head of when you had jumped off of Wall Rose appearing in your head before leaving as soon as they had came- squinting your eyes a little at the resistance that hit your face before shooting your wires out and aiming for a place behind a tree that was to Hanji's left. Once you managed to get both of your feet on the ground and leaned against a tree -you still had your blades out, ready to attack at any second- you looked over to Hanji and nodded your head to her, one that she returned curtly. Listening carefully told you that Moblit had shot his wires, obeying the command that Hanji had given him and hiding up in the trees where he would be able to help gain the advantage should it be needed. Once again you glanced over at the section commander beside you, which only told you that she was addressing the situation as her observant eyes scanned the area, widening a little as something caught her focus.

You slightly jumped as you heard a nearby sharp yell cut through the air, " _Stay back, ya beast!_ " Your attention was soon brought to the source of the shout, where you saw a tall man in a defensive position, cornered between two buildings with a silver wolf -decorated with some black tips on it's ears and tail- getting ready to jump on him and forcing the man to back up into said corner with a shotgun trained on it for defense.

You looked over to Hanji, with the intent on asking her what to do when you took note that she had her tranquiliser gun trained on the wolf -sticking her tongue out in concentration as she bit it- and hearing her shoot the dart not long after. You whipped your head back over to the wolf to see it turn around, its lips brought back into a snarl as it locked eyes on Hanji -the dart stuck into the middle of it's back- and started towards her, forgetting all about the hunter that soon took advantage of the wolfs distracted state, aiming his gun on the animal more accurately. Seeing that the man was going to shoot the wolf, you signaled to him to not shoot, waving your arms at him and causing his hazel eyes to widen not long after he had seen you, lowering his gun slightly as he seemingly noticed your uniform and readied blades.

Hearing slower steps and a thump, you looked out from behind the tree and saw that the tranquiliser had taken its effect on the creature, causing it to fall on the ground, the only thing telling you that it was still alive being the steady breaths it took as it was forced into a -hopefully peaceful- slumber.

"Moblit, tie it up." Hanji ordered loudly as she stepped out from behind the tree, looking at the fallen animal as she made her way up to the man who had been cornered. Moblit swung down from a tree using his gear and landed, taking out some rope he had stored in a pocket for this exact scenario and kneeling down next to the wolf, tying its legs so that it couldn't get away or attack other people if it wanted to. You yourself stepped out from cover seeing that the man had relaxed a little and showed no intent of hurting anyone, making your way slightly behind, but still next to, Hanji as the section commander spoke up, "What's going on here?"

The red haired male still held his shotgun in his hands, but non threateningly as he pointed it at the ground, away from the three of you, "Wolf attack." he said, his accent very apparent as he spoke the same words you would, yet differently. He definitely lived here in this hunting village, whether since a child or not you weren't certain, but he was definitely a local.

"Wolf attack?" Hanji inquired.

"'Ere's been these wolves," he said with an exasperated and slightly defeated drop of his shoulders, rightfully stressed at the situation, "Same four ones as far as everyone can tell, 'ey keep attackin' the livestock n' tryin' to get our children. We almost lost a youngin' just now, but we can't ever get these damned beasts 'cause 'ey always seem to know when we're gonna shoot 'em."

Another yell came from across the village, " _The Walls, just shoot it!_ " " _I can't, dammit!"_ , before the man quickly ended the conversation, already running towards the sound, "I'm sorry missus, but I've gotta go!"

Hanji looked like she wanted to stop him and ask him more about what was going on, but she decided against it as she turned towards you and Moblit, who had just finished tying up the wolf, "We're going to get up onto the roof of the buildings and find a good position to tranquilize the wolves. I'll get the most right one, Moblit the middle and (Y/N) the left, and shoot upon my command. Worst comes to worst, be have to go down there and put them down, the lives of the civilians come first. Any questions or holes with the plan you see?"

"No, section commander!"

"No, Hanji!"

"Then let's go. Times ticking!" she said as she gave you a small smile, already shooting her gear to get her high enough to get on top of a building. You ran to the left, doing the same as she had done and shakily landing on top of a roof, ' _This has all escalated quickly, I don't think my brain is keeping up with my body._ ' you thought as you just made the jump from one roof to the other, ' _I'll just have to keep pushing myself._ ' Not far off you could see three wolves surrounding a new man and woman, along with the red haired man you had seen not that long ago standing in front of them, ' _Trying to protect them from the wolves, I suppose. We best hurry._ '

Getting as close as you could to comfortably take a shot at the left wolf, you shifted your weight on the shingles that were digging into your skin uncomfortably, before aiming your tranquilizer gun on the wolf. You shifted your eyes over to Hanji, who was already all set to shoot her dart at the wolf and looking at you, waiting for you to tell her that you were ready. After you nodded your head, the woman shifted her focus over to Moblit, who took a second to confirm to Hanji that he was good to go as he had the most difficult position to get into given the terrain.

"Now!" you heard Hanji shout, and not even a second later the three of you had all shot your tranquiliser darts, all but one hitting their target.

Yours.

Feeling a shot of adrenaline flow through your veins, you quickly got up as the wolves turned around, ' _I have to do something! If they turn back they'll be even angrier and that will only make things worse for the people down there!_ ' you thought while you noted two of them looking for what had shot them and the other confused as to why the others were turning around, "I'm going down, one of you shoot the wolf with the tranquilizer while I distract it!" Jumping down off of the roof, you stumbled into a landing on the dirt path, hearing someone shout, "(Y/N), wait!" as you looked to your left and saw all three wolves turn their heads and look at you from their position a good fifteen meters away, ' _I don't really have to worry about the two that were shot by the darts, they'll be falling over soon enough. All I really have to do is make sure that the wolf I missed doesn't get me, because I'm sure as hell not dying to a wolf after all the titans I've faced!_ '

Your feet pounded onto the ground as you ran down the dirt road, not daring to look back as you heard the rhythmic footfalls of the carnivore. Taking out your blades and gripping the handles, you decided that if it came to it, you could shoot up onto a house instead of killing it right away, figuring that the townspeople had already taken shelter in their houses, ' _Although I hate the idea of doing that to someone's home, if there aren't any trees nearby that I can jump onto, I'll do it._ ' You took a turn to the left, in the direction where Moblit and Hanji were beforehand, and picking up the pace a little when you saw out of the corner of your eye that, while the other two were nowhere to be seen, making you assume that they had already knocked out, the wolf that remained was catching up rather quickly, ' _C'mon, one of you, please shoot it with a tranquilizer!_ ' Hearing a snap behind you, you stumbled and almost tripped as felt your body go cold at the realization that it had been close enough to make an attempt at you, and you inwardly cringed at the thought that it sounded painful. Very painful.

Luckily for you, you heard a shot of a dart whiz behind you, and it took all of your willpower to not look behind you and see if it had at least distracted the beast, preferably hitting it and condemning it to be whisked away to a dreamland. However, when you kept running and eventually heard the fading steps of the animal behind you, you slowed your pace enough to comfortably take a quick glance, immediately halting when you saw the wolf at a slow walk before falling over. It wasn't much longer that Hanji landed right in front of you, "What in the world was that, (Y/N)?!"

You slightly cringed at the strict tone she was using, but defended yourself regardless as you noticed Moblit walk up to the fallen wolf that had just been shot with a dart and start to tie it up, "I was just making sure that the job got done, it was my fault that there was a wolf not hit with a tranquiliser, so I did what I had to to make sure that he didn't go after the civilians."

"C'mon, let's go tie up the other two wolves that were hit, I'll deal with you in a second," she said while shaking her head, changing the topic slightly as she ordered Moblit next, "Get the other wolf you tied up before and bring him over to the others, that one included!"

"Yes, Section Commander Hanji!"

"Now you, (Y/N)," she said as she turned to you once more with a pointed look, "That was not a smart decision, you're lucky Moblit still had another tranquilizer dart left otherwise you might have actually died there. _Died_ , (Y/N)."

"I'm sure I would've been fine, Hanji! I could've shot myself onto a building if it really came to it."

"Oh yeah, is that why that wolf almost bit your ankle before and caused you to almost fall?"

You stayed quiet, looking down at the ground and feeling like a child who had been caught doing something that they shouldn't have been doing and felt awfully guilty for it. Then, you heard a sigh come from the woman at your side, stopping as you both reached the wolves, "Look, (Y/N), I'm sorry. I was just..." she said as she trailed off, hesitating before continuing, "I was just worried, ok? I thought you were gone for a second." You felt your heart jump as she spoke the words, abnormally beating in your chest at her concern for you, and even more so as she pulled you into a hug. Putting her head next to your ear, she softly whispered, "I was just scared of losing my best friend." You felt your heart drop as she said the words, feeling a form of rejection that made you insides coil up, and at the awful and terrible feeling you finally realized why you had been feeling the way you have been around the section commander. About why you couldn't stop looking at her. About why you kept thinking these weird things about her. About why you felt your heart beat at her concern just now.

And as the two of you pulled out of each other's embrace to do that task that you had came over to do, you couldn't help the one thought that seemed to replay in your mind like a broken record player as you took the rope out of your pockets and started tying up the wolf, ' _Shit, I have a crush on Hanji._ ' Thankfully, you weren't able to linger in your thoughts for too long as the hunters soon came over to the both of you, great smiles on their faces as they tried to physically show their gratitude, "Thank ya so much! We've been tryin' to get those damned wolves for so long now!"

Hanji, who had just finished tying up her wolf, turned to the man and gave him a smile of her own, "It's no problem! I do want to ask though, is there any way we could take these wolves?"

Shooting a brow up at her odd request, the redhead simply agreed to it, deciding that Hanji had her own reasons for wanting the wolves, "Course, be our guests missus." Right after he said that, Moblit turned up behind you with the two tied up wolves in his hands, placing them gently on the ground next to Hanji and yours -who you had just finished tying up anyways.

"Section commander, what should we do next?"

Hanji took a second, absentmindedly rubbing her chin with her right hand as she took a second to think, "Do you know the way back to the base from here?"

"Yes, section commander."

"Then please go and get a cart and two horses, you can take (Y/N) and I's if you'd like, and come back here. We're going to bring them back."

"Got it, I'll be back as soon as possible."

The interaction didn't take long to be completed, yet you guessed it would still take at least half an hour for the caramel headed soldier to get there and back. As Moblit made his way out of your view, you heard the man from the village speak up again, raising his voice at the end to show he was giving you an offer, "If ya'd like, we can get ya some more o' that rope if that'd help?"

"If you wouldn't mind, I don't think it'd hurt to make sure that they're extra secure." you said with a smile, trying to join in and keep yourself distracted from your conflicting thoughts who still didn't know how to feel about the I-have-a-crush-on-my-boss-like-higher-up-who-also-happens-to-be-my-best-friend scenario.

Giving you a welcoming and warm smile, the man replied, "'S not a problem, missus...?"

Realizing that he was asking for your name, you gave it to him, "I'm (Y/N) (L/N), the woman next to me is Hanji Zoë, and the light brown haired man you saw before was Moblit Berner."

The redhead took a step forward and offered his big hand to you, "I'm Milos Wagner, 's a pleasure to meet ya, Missus (L/N) n' Missus Zoë."

"It's our honour," Hanji replied with a smile, shaking the man's hand when he offered a handshake to her as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated a few hours before 12 August, 2020 because I can!


	16. Tea Time

**Thursday, May 2, 850 at 12:01**

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**

Standing up, you stretched out your legs and looked down at your handiwork with a satisfied grin. The red headed male had brought the excess rope and the both of you, you and Hanji, had used it effectively on the wolves, now sure that they weren’t going to break free and bring terror upon the townspeople anymore. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Hanji finishing up the last of her knots on one of the wolves, but before you could talk to her or anything, Milos had walked up to you once more, “Say, Missus (L/N) n’ Missus Zoë, would the both of ya like some tea? It’d be the last we could do for ya, for yer help n’ such.”

You shot a warm smile at him, grateful for his offer, “I’m sure Hanji and I would be much obliged for your hospitality.” you said as you glanced over at the woman, silently asking for permission. As much as you wanted to say yes definitely, you still figured it would be best to wait for Hanji to say it herself to tell the man that you would accept his offer. She was basically the one in charge after all.

“If it’s no trouble, we would love to, Mr. Wagner.”

The man’s hospitable smile brightened, “‘S no bother, missus. My house is this way, ya both can rest up a bit n’ wait for yer friend.” He turned on his heel and the pair of you followed as he led you to a nicely sized cottage, ‘ _It’s not too big, but it’s not too small either. It actually looks rather cozy, I wouldn’t mind living in a house like this._ ’ The three of you stopped at the door, and the tall male put his hand on the door before halting and flashing his hazel orbs at you both, “I hope the two of ya don’t mind, but me youngin’s are home, n’ they might be a little…” he shifted his orbs to the ground as he searched for the right word, as if hoping that it would spell itself out on the dirt and aid him in finding it, “ _Inquisitive_ on yer occupations. Bein’ soldiers n’ all, n’ with how ‘ey’re so fascinated on the outside world...”

Hanji gave the man an understanding, bright grin, “We don’t mind at all, we’d be happy to answer any questions they have.”

The man let out a little relieved chuckle and said, “‘Ey might be a wee bit shy at first, but ‘ey’ll warm up to ya.” before he opened the door and allowed for you and Hanji to enter while holding the door open, “Feel free to take a seat Missus (L/N) and Missus Zoë, I’m gonna make yer tea.” He slung his shotgun from off of his back and hung it on a piece on the wall that was obviously made for the sole purpose of holding up the weapon, and you couldn’t help but wonder if the man had been the one who had crafted it. After seeing that the both of you were taking in your new surroundings, he left the room and let you guys look around.

The room you had gone into was just like the outside of the cottage, cozy and comfortable. Upon entry there was a doormat, a couch to your left, and a few steps forwards along the right wall was a dresser that had the man’s shotgun above it and an unlit lantern on top of it -along with a few gloves and hats and such. Windows were strewn about the walls in a way that allowed a healthy amount of natural light into the room, and just about in the middle of the room was a table decorated by golden rays of sun -you assumed it was their dining table- along with the four chairs around it. On the wall furthest from the door were two chairs that greatly resembled loveseats -you also took note that there was a staircase going upstairs near the left wall, and that the kitchen -you guessed it was the kitchen given that the man had gone in there to make some tea- was past the dresser on the right wall.

Raising a finger, you pointed to the dining table with a snicker, “Wanna sit down for a little, Miss Zoë?” You weren’t making fun of the man -you actually found it rather polite of him to continue to use such formal titles- you just knew that Hanji wasn’t used to it, so you saw it as an opportunity to take a few jabs at her.

“Oh geez Miss (L/N), I thought you’d never ask.” she replied while rolling her eyes, clearly knowing what you were doing. The both of you made your way over to the table and took out a chair, pulling it out and sitting on it before pushing the chair back in a little.

“How long do you think Moblit will be anyways? I’d hate for Mr. Wagner to think we were overstaying our welcome or something.”

“He shouldn’t be too long, he’s probably using his gear to get there faster, so in the end it’ll probably take longer for him to get back here, which with a direct pathway, shouldn’t be a problem.”

You nodded your head along with her words, taking them in and letting them settle in your mind, ‘ _Moblit’s probably trying to get there and back as quick as he can, so it only makes sense that he’d use his gear. Besides, when is Hanji ever wrong?_ ’ Looking over at the woman told you that she was playing with her hands, both of them resting on the table in front of her as she rubbed her thumb against the back of her left hand. Her eyes were looking at nothing in particular -just blankly staring at the little bit of table before her through her goggles as she thought about whatever was keeping her in her head- while her mocha hair fell down the sides of her face to frame it in what you considered a picturesque image.

Blinking, you realized that you had been partially staring at her, ‘ _Oh c’mon (Y/N), you’re better than this. Just focus yourself, why don’t you?_ ’ You weren’t given much of a choice however when you heard a squeak sound near the stairs, and once you snapped your head in that direction you noticed a little boy and girl watching both you and Hanji from there, ‘ _Well that’s not creepy._ ’

“Um, hi?” you said, although it ended up sounding like a partial question. Hanji -who mustn't have heard the noise- looked at you weirdly as she turned her head to you, “Hello?”

“No, not you! The children!” you said exasperatedly, looking at them once more when you heard a few laughs coming from in that direction. As soon as they seemed to notice that they were being watched again however, they quickly stopped laughing and went silent. The boy, who was older, had red hair, just like his father, although in short tufts above his head, and he had muddy brown eyes that seemed to sparkle with curiosity. The girl on the other hand had more of a strawberry blonde colouring to her hair, but her eyes matched her brother’s almost perfectly. Currently, they both seemed to be sporting shy façades, however, if you looked closely enough you could tell that the both of them were trying not to smile because they were seemingly excited, ‘ _Milos really wasn’t kidding when he said his kids would be shy, but they seem happy to see us anyways._ ’

Letting out a miniscule sigh, you decided to try your luck again with a kind smile, “Hi, I’m (Y/N) (L/N), and this here is Hanji Zoë. Who might you guys be?”

The little girl, who seemed to be the more confident of the two, went down a few steps, stopping at the first one and flashing you a toothy grin, -you absentmindedly noted that she was missing her left front tooth, “I’m Heidi!” she responded with an accent just like her fathers, although a little bit softened due to her age. A second passed without the boy introducing himself, and it didn’t take long for Heidi to sneak an eye to him to try and encourage him to say his name. After the both of them passed a few looks back and forth, the boy reluctantly stepped down and made his way next to his sister, “And I’m Erik…”

“Well Heidi, Erik, it’s nice to meet you.” you said warmly, mentally noting in your head the lack of input Hanji was putting into the conversation. You glanced at her momentarily to see her playfully sticking her tongue out to Erik, and not too long after the little boy giggled a little and viably relaxed a little, ‘ _I suppose Hanji is good with children, huh? I guess it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise given how she acts like one most of the time._ ’ The two kids soon made their way to the table, grinning and standing near it, “Miss (L/N)?” Erik spoke up.

“Hm?” you hummed, smiling when you noticed Heidi crossing her eyes and making a fishie face at your brunette college.

“What’s it like outside the Walls?”

His question took your breath for a second, not expecting the little boy to ask the question so directly, despite his father’s indirect warning, ‘ _I guess little kids do tend to be more on the blunt side, maybe I should’ve seen this one coming._ ’ Ignoring the slight shivers that wanted to roll throughout your body when the faces of comrades you had seen get torn apart on the battlefield flashed through your head, you did your best to shoot a brave and confident turn of your lips his way, “Outside the Walls?” you started, before realizing that you weren’t really sure of how to answer his query, ‘ _I mean, in actuality it’s not that different from inside the Walls, except for the fact that there are all of the titans and a distinct lack of buildings outside of Wall Maria. Which, now that I think about it is kinda strange, I would’ve thought that there would be buildings outside of the Walls given that humanity used to live outside of them, but maybe there are and they’re just further out and I haven’t seen them yet. Eh, either way, it doesn’t matter._ ’

“To be frank with you Erik, there isn’t much more outside the Walls than there is inside the Walls, except for the titans.”

Heidi, who’s attention had been grabbed when she heard your answer, joined in and asked you a question of her own, “Are ‘ey as big as everyone says? Are ‘ey really taller than the trees?”

“Well, some titans might be bigger than some trees, but it’s in the same way that some people are taller than others. It really depends on the titan, Heidi.”

“Are ‘ey as scary as everyone says?”

To be honest, you weren’t completely sure how to answer this one, ‘ _I can either lie to them both and say that they aren’t scary at all, or I can tell them that they sometimes make people cry as they ride out to battle… Ok, maybe I won’t tell them something that extreme no matter how true it is, but I still don’t know how to respond to this!_ ’

Luckily for you, you didn’t have to think of an answer as Hanji had spoken up and decided to answer for you, looking at the kids with a smile that you swore had a tiny bit of motherly tenderness to it, “To some people they might be scary, but they’re not that bad once you know how to get them. If anything, they’re more strange and weird than scary or creepy!”

Their eyebrows shot up as they looked at Hanji, probably not expecting that kind of answer. Whether the two of them were aware of it or not, they got closer to the woman with wide eyes full of wonder. Heidi spoke up, “What do ya mean?”

“Well the titans are quite different from us after all.” she said nonchalantly as she knew she had the kids hooked on her, flashing you a grin that you felt turn your stomach upside down. You rolled your eyes as you felt your cheeks heat up a little, grateful that Erik had spoken up by the time it became noticeable, “How’re ‘ey different? What makes ‘em so weird?”

Hanji leaned forwards a little bit as the children themselves leaned in as if they couldn’t hear her from their place a few centimeters back, “Can I let you guys in on a little secret?”

Erik and Heidi nodded fervently.

“Ok, so just in between you and me, the titans can’t stay up at night.”

Heidi blinked a few times, “But that’s not weird! I can’t stay up at night either, papa makes us go to bed at eight thirty!”

Hanji let out a few warm chuckles, and you yourself couldn’t help but grin at the innocence this little strawberry blonde was showing, “I suppose that might be true for you guys, but think of the titans more like adults, who can stay up as late as they want.”

Erik scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, “The titan’s are adults? Then why don’t ‘ey go to work?”

This time you couldn’t help it as you let out a small laugh, imagining a titan in a baker’s outfit, or perhaps formal attire as one served the titan king. “Nonono,” Hanji said while waving her hands a little, “They’re not actually adults, so they don’t have any jobs. Maybe it would be better to say that they’re like kids without bed times…” Hanji muttered to herself. A moment passed where the kids impatiently waited for her to elaborate more, surprisingly being quiet as they did so, “It’s kinda like the sun is the titans parents, it tells them when they have to go to sleep, and when they can stay up.” Hanji said as she finally came to the conclusion that that was the best approach to explain the concept to the kids.

“Oooooh…” the two voiced in unison, seemingly realizing at the same time what Hanji was saying.

“That’s not even the weirdest thing about the titans though.”

“Really?” Heidi asked, arms now resting on the armrest of Hanji’s chair as she leaned on it, slightly swinging her body back and forth to get out some of the excess energy she had stored in her body.

“Really,” Hanji started, before a mischievous grin made its way on her face and her excited and amused eyes met the kids’, “Did you know that the titans… don’t go to the potty?”

The two reactions she garnered were vastly different. The boy’s face lit up, and he started giggling almost immediately after she said that. Heidi on the other hand scrunched up her nose as she tried to look mature, although the slight twinkle you could see in her eye communicated that she was interested in the topic, no matter how indifferent she tried to behave on the subject.

“That’s so cool!” “Ew, gross!”

Hanji looked to you as she let out a laugh, content with how the kids reacted to the fact, and you didn’t bother to fight off the growing smile and festering giggles of your own that were bubbling to the surface, already knowing that Hanji would be able to make you laugh.

Erik waved his hands in front of Hanji, desperately trying to get her attention through his excitement. However, when he opened his mouth to speak, the red head was interrupted by the deep voice of his father, “Ok, ok, kids. Why don’t ya settle down n’ play outside for a bit?” Erik and Heidi looked as if they were about to protest, but as soon as they heard the second half of his sentence and really thought about it for a brief moment, the idea of running around and playing with each other outside won. The boy let out a, “Yes papa!” before Erik ran out the front door, his sister quick to follow

“ _Let’s go find Peter and see if he wants to play tag again!_ ”

A grin graced your face at the two kids’ innocence and purity, memories taking yourself back to when you were their age and doing the same with the neighbourhood kids. “I hope ‘ey weren’t too troublesome for ya.” Milos said as he placed the tea tray with three cups on it down on the table gently. Atop the tray was a small bowl that held sugar cubes, and a small jug of milk that held a hefty amount in it, “Oh, they weren’t any trouble at all, Mr. Wagner.” you said as you took a cup of tea off the tray when Milos gestured for the both of you to pick one, Hanji doing the same soon after and giving the male a sincere smile, “They only asked a few questions, which we were happy to answer.”

He gave a soft turn of his lips as he continued, “Ever since ‘eir mama passed, ‘ey’ve always wanted to join the military like she did.”

‘ _O-Oh…_ ’ you thought, ‘ _That’s where their mother went, that’s so terrible...._ ’

His green eyes -with a ring of a blended brown around the pupil- met up with Hanji’s dark chocolate ones once she started to speak, “I’m so sorry for your loss, Mr. Wagner.”

“It’s ok, Missus Zoë. I’m better now, it happened durin’ the fall of Wall Maria, so I’ve had about five years to come to terms with it. The kids barely remember ‘eir mama ‘ough, ‘at’s what hits the hardest.”

Meekly, you spoke up, “If you don’t mind me asking, how old were they?”

“Erik was only three at the time, and Heidi was not even a year yet.” the hunter informed, letting a sugar cube drop into his tea as he stirred it around in circles with a small spoon. ‘ _This poor man, losing his wife and then having to raise two kids by himself? That sounds so difficult, and yet he’s raising them so well based on how they acted._ ’

“They’re wonderful children.” you said as you brought your lips to the tea, the energizing liquid dancing on your tongue. Looking out of the corner of your eye told you that Hanji nodded in agreement to your statement, taking a sip of her tea herself.

“Thank you, Missus (L/N).” he said before pausing a moment to drink some of his tea, opting to change the topic once he swallowed, “Ya know it’s awfully brave for the both of ya to be pursuing what ya are.”

“Ah, thank you. Everyday brings something new it seems, but it’s our pleasure to serve you, right (Y/N)?” Hanji inquired as she took a sip, directing her attention to you. Before you could even agree with her however, the polite ginger spoke up.

“Well, don’t get me wrong, ‘at most definitely takes courage, joinin’ the Scouts and all of the branches, and I’m honoured to be served by ya both. I wasn’t talkin’ ‘bout that ‘ough, I meant how the both of ya are in a relationship despite risking yer lives so often.”

Almost instantaneously the room went dead silent, save for Hanji coughing as she struggled to get down her tea. Looking at her with concern and a blushed face, you nervously sputtered out, “A-Ah, thank you Mr. Wagner, but um, we’re not a uh… a couple.”

You snuck another worried glance at Hanji to find her recovered this time, face red -from what you assumed was either embarrassment or from her almost choking- as she spoke up and agreed with you with an awkward chuckle, “We just get along well, I’m sorry for anything that implied different, Mr. Wagner.” Your mind -that was starting to become hyper observant on everything Hanji did- took note that Hanji didn’t call you a friend to the man, which you found odd since she had called you a friend not too long ago when it was just you and her, but you brushed it off as her still being startled on what had just happened. So you decided to add in, “We’ve been best friends for almost three years now, we’re just very caring towards each other.” as you felt your cheeks cool down a little.

“Ah, I see,” he said, a small blush of his own donning his face from embarrassment, “I didn’t mean to assume things, Missus’. I just saw ya hug earlier n’ came to ‘n incorrect assumption, my apologies.”

Darting your eyes over to Hanji to see if she was going to answer to the man, you noticed that she was looking down at her tea cup almost in a pensive manner, but it soon was whisked away when the rumbling of a cart could be heard in the distance and she turned her head to one of the windows in the room. Nevertheless, you spoke up for the woman with a kind smile, “There’s no need to apologize, Mister. No harm, no fowl after all.” Hanji brought her eyes to the man’s in front of her, brushing some of her burgundy hair out of her face and behind her ear as she stood up and spoke, “I’m so terribly sorry, Mr. Wagner, but I do believe that Mr. Berner is here now. I don’t mean to be rude, but…” she trailed off, hinting to the male that you and her needed to be excused.

“Of course! I’m sorry to have kept ya for so long. ‘Was a pleasure having ya Missus Zoë and Missus (L/N).” he said as he smiled warmly, getting up and opening the door for you and Hanji. The both of you walked to the doorway and each sent him a grateful smile for his hospitable behaviour, “Likewise, Mr. Wagner.”

You waved to the man as you both started to walk away, over to where you could see Moblit putting the last tied up wolf into the back of the wagon, “I brought the horses and wagon like you’d asked, section commander.”

“Thank you Moblit, would you mind bringing us back to the base?” Hanji indirectly ordered, as you glanced at the wolves who were knocked out cold, ‘ _They won’t be moving for a little while, we’ve got time._ ’ The carmel headed soldier nodded his head yes as he hopped back in position to steer the horses, and it was only then it came to you that Chesnut was supposed to be up there. A quick flicker of your eyes confirmed it, and you smiled as you saw her shake her head to get rid of a fly, ‘ _She’s still the same old horse._ ’

You and Hanji climbed into the back of the wagon, making sure that there was a good distance between you and the sleeping wolves -whether their back or their faces, it didn’t matter- and once you were both settled, Moblit started off on his way back, using the reigns to tell the horses to go. As the wagon went up the hill that the three of you had jumped down from -there was a clear path that you could see now- you saw Hanji smiling and waving to someone down below. Looking at where she was waving to, you noticed a group of kids waving to both you and Hanji, namely Erik and Heidi who were at the front of the group and waving a farewell. They both gave bright smiles, and you couldn’t help but return one as you all ventured further and further into the brush that soon obscured your view of them.

“You’re good with kids, did anyone ever tell you that?” you asked as you looked over to the brunette, smiling as you remembered how she had acted with the kids before in the cottage.

“I’ve been told that once or twice.” she said, turning to you and returning the grin you had given her.

The ride back was peaceful, and rather uneventful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 19 August, 2020! I hope you enjoyed ^^


	17. A Wolf Experiment

Thursday, May 2, 850 at 14:56  
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Balancing on your own two feet, you let out a ‘humph’ as you landed out of the pit, putting your blades back where they belonged and looking back at your work. In the pit lay the four wolves, cut free from the fettering ropes yet laying just as still as they had while trapped in their ensnarements. The grey furred animals were slightly twitching in their slumber -indicating that they were to soon wake up- and despite the fact that they were easy prey, Albert and Chicacchironi remained trained on the soldiers at the opposite end of the pit, standing tall and still as they acted as bait. You shifted your eyes slightly to the side as you noticed Hanji standing next to you, Moblit -who was on her other side- holding out the pocket watch he always carried for the brunette to read. She scribbled down the words, muttering a little to herself, “ᶠʳᵉᵉᵈ ᵃᵗ... ᶠᵒᵘʳᵗᵉᵉⁿ ᶠⁱᶠᵗʸ... ˢᵉᵛᵉⁿ... ᴼⁿˡʸ... ᵀʷⁱᵗᶜʰⁱⁿᵍ... ᴬ ˡⁱᵗᵗˡᵉ.” before bringing up the volume of her voice, addressing the brown haired soldier beside her, “Thank you, Moblit.”

“No problem, section commander.” he said as he pulled his hand back and placed the miniature clock back into one of his breast pockets, ‘That must be really useful at times, I kinda wonder why we don’t have our own…’

“Hey Hanji?” you asked.

“Hm?”

“Why don’t we have our own pocket watches? Wouldn’t it come in handy?”

A look of understanding crossed her face, making you think that the bubbly woman had once thought of the idea herself, “Ah, well, I have asked Erwin in the past, but he doesn't seem too keen on the idea of using so much of our reserved money to tell the time. He’d even said that most cadets end up dying, so that in the end, it’s kind of a waste.”

‘Oh geez,’ you thought, as a slightly disturbed look crossed over your face, ‘That is a very dark approach to it, but I suppose being commander of the Survey Corps has refined him into having such outlooks.’

A small giggle passed between Hanji’s lips, and you felt your own lift upwards as you realized that you had made the woman laugh -from how silly your face looked or not, you counted it as a victory, “I think that’s the same face I made at first,” she admitted, “I was eventually able to convince Erwin that we need at least a few, and I was able to haggle one out of him.”

“And you gave it to Moblit?”

“Yup!”

“But why? You would certainly have more uses for it than him, right? So why bother giving it to him?” you said, before sparing a glance to the brown eyes of Moblit who were looking back at you, not in a harsh way from what you had just said at all, but rather from just following the conversation, “No offence, Moblit.”

He shook his head dismissively, “None taken, captain. I’ve often wondered about it myself.”

Meeting your inquisitive eyes back to Hanji, you awaited her response, “The reasoning behind the decision is simple, have you met me? I go all over the place, if I were to misplace it, that would not only get me in trouble with Erwin, but also hinder myself, y’know? And Moblit not only keeps track of every and anything, but he is also never too far behind me. So choosing him to keep a hold on the pocket watch was just common sense.” she said, before pensively looking up at the sky slightly, closing the journal in her hold and gripping the pencil in her other hand, “Also, with how close I am to titans all the time during experimentation, I figured it would be best to choose him given that anything should happen to me.”

You narrowed your eyes at the girl ever so slightly, expressing your discontent with what she was suggesting, “Hey! Don’t say that, you have fast reflexes! If anything, it’s the titans that should be the ones watching out.”

She let out a small chuckle as she brought her head down back at a normal level, showing that she didn’t believe your statement yet chose to entertain it as her amber pools of a warm brown sported swirls of amusement and doubt, “You think so?”

“I know so.”

\---------------------------------------------------------

“Are you sure we didn’t accidentally kill them?”

Her cocoa hair swayed back and forth as she shook her head, readjusting her goggles as she spoke, “I’m positive. Each dart only had enough to knock them out for no longer than a day and a half. So in theory, they should be waking up any second now.”

Wordlessly, you nodded your head in agreement. You didn’t have any reason to not believe her after all, so why bother arguing with it? The two of you sat at the edge of the pit, feet dangling over and into it as the faces of the two titans who were desperately grabbing and scratching at the walls for the soldiers across from you -perhaps in hopes that it cause some sort of tremor that would end up with them falling into their clutches and consequentially, at their mercy. Nevertheless, they remained at the top of the pit, your eyes flickering back to the wolves who were starting to move more and more as the time passed by as you onlooked the entire situation.

In all honesty, you were starting to get antsy from sitting there for so long -about an hour of no standing and just waiting- and staring at the terrifying faces of the titans only provided so much entertainment -if you could call it that. Fortunately for you, one of the wolves was just starting to get up, telling you that it had awakened and the experiment was about to begin soon, “Hanji, look! One of them is up!” you whispered quietly and poked her shoulder, despite the fact that if you had spoken at a normal tone the wolf still would not have heard you.

She didn’t answer verbally, but rather took out her notebook and pencil yet again, waving her hand to call Moblit over. The man raised an eyebrow at her, confused as to what she wanted until she pointed her hand down into the pit at the wolf who was waking up another, nudging it with its snout. A quick look of understanding crossed his face and he pulled out his pocket watch, showing it to the section commander once more. You turned your attention back over to the wolf, only to find that it had successfully woke up the other and the both of them were now going and nudging the other one, and you couldn’t help but notice that the one with white markings on it was seemingly being left alone, ‘Although I suppose all three of them could go and wake up that last one, they might just be all waking one up at once.’ But once the other three wolves were up and moving about, they seemed to do nothing more than spare a few glances over at the fourth wolf before stalking away, ‘Is he an outcast?’

You were about to mention to Hanji that they didn’t bring the other one along, but the girl was already hunched over her own lap, pencil scribbling away in her right hand as her eyes squinted in concentration and thought. Leaning to your right a little, you angled your head so you could see what she was writing, ‘Wolf with white accents left behind by others, the other three woke each other up and seem to be walking away now.’ The three wolves took their time drinking in their surroundings, seeming rightfully confused as they sniffed about. Eventually, they stopped smelling the walls of the pit and started eyeing up the two titans that were in the pit with them, although they all seemed to be taking a liking towards the smaller one, Chicacchironi. You couldn’t help but wonder, ‘Were they only attacking the village for food? As messed up as it is, the wolves still need to eat, and with how humanity was forced back behind two walls instead of three, there’s been a lot less game to hunt for us, who knows about them…’

You creased your brows in worry, pitying the carnivores that were stuck down there, ‘This is probably their best chance at survival though, because they were terrorizing and endangering the lives of the civilians, they would’ve been ordered to be put down. At least if this works, and they can get both of the titans’ attention, they have a chance at being trained for distracting titans if this works and consequently living longer.’ Watching intently, you took note that the animals seemed to stop and groom each other, taking a moment to check each other for any wounds that they didn’t have -Moblit, Hanji and you had taken special care to ensure that you left them unharmed after all. Every once in a while, their ears would perk up and they would snap their heads in the direction of the titans, watching with careful eyes to see if one of them would try and make a move. But neither of them did. While Albert had turned his head a little to the side and seemingly saw them -it was scratching at the wall still, trying to get to the soldiers opposite from you, Moblit and Hanji- he never made a move or any signs that he wanted to advance on them. You made sure that Hanji had taken note of that, but once again she was ahead of you, already writing down the observation in her worn -yet loved- field journal.

\---------------------------------------------------------

A few hours had passed since the three wolves had woken up and moved about, and currently, both you and Hanji were leaning over the pit slightly as you sat over the edge, watching with bated breaths as the wolves seemed to be coordinating some sort of attack on Chicacchironi. The one with white accents -”Whitey” as you had oh so cleverly dubbed it- had woken up not too long ago as well, but even though it was fully awake at this point, the wolf still seemed to distance itself from the others, opting to first look around and then curl up in a little ball in a corner. It was safe to say that you felt really bad for this one in particular.

You snapped yourself back into reality when you noticed them trotting to different places, two of them going behind boulders that had been left in the pit, the other placing itself a good bit aways from the titans yet still close enough to physically provoke one of them in a short amount of time if it wished to do so.

“This is a common method they use to capture prey,” Hanji said, and your ears twitched at the unexpected voice. Nonetheless, you continued to listen attentively as she spoke the words, making sure that you didn’t turn your head to look at her so as to not miss out on anything that could happen. “Wolves typically hunt in packs like this, they have one member of the pack go alone to make themselves look more vulnerable, and then when the prey takes the bait and forgets their surroundings, the other members come out and surround the animal, making their chances as high as possible so they ensure a meal afterwards.” Nodding your head, you opened your mouth to give your input when a loud bark echoed across the pit, although it was faded a small bit due to the distance from where the sound originated and you perched on top of the pit. You stopped yourself as you watched the wolf trying to get Chicachironi’s attention -you guessed Chicacchironi was the one it was trying to get, after all, it was not only ever so closer to it, but it would also make for an easier attack- slowly making its way closer to the monstrous beast, barks never ceasing even when it was only a good four meters away. As it neared, both titans had taken a glance at what was making the noise, and losing interest right away when they saw that the source was not a human. From afar you could see that the wolf halted for a second -probably anticipating to garner any sort of violent or terrified reaction like it was used to, not indifference like it was currently receiving- before it positioned itself and got ready to pounce. You could almost imagine its bared teeth and claws digging into the dirt as it growled and got ready to leap forwards at Chicacchironi -and you had to commend the wolf for its bravery, ‘All I can say is that I would definitely not yell at a titan and then get closer and attack it when it hadn’t even noticed me.’

The grey fur ball shot forwards at Chicacchironi, letting out loud barks as it neared, before jumping up and doing its best to enclose its jaws on Chiacchironi’s calf, the titan not really reacting as if in pain, but turning around as if some mosquito was nibbling away at its leg. Seeing the wolf only made the titan kick its leg -effectively flinging the creature away from it and flying into a nearby boulder- before proceeding to scratch at the wall once more, Albert not even sparing a glance as a pained yip fell from the wolf’s throat.

You let out a wince as you saw it twitch where it landed, moving its legs and trying to get up but to no avail. The two other wolves that it was with visibly peeked their heads around their hiding spots from your position, and you found yourself with a heavy heart as you connected the image with various soldiers you had seen torn apart on the battlefield, mercilessly killed within seconds. It seemed like this wolf wasn’t lucky to meet such a speedy fate however, as the poor critter was left on the ground for quite the while, and in the meantime it’s companions tried their best to help it get up only for the attempts to remain useless. You could feel the angel and devil weighing heavily on your shoulders; one side saying that it was only inevitable that the creature died, and the other saying that at least it was surrounded by its -what looked to be- loved ones as it soon stilled.

When the wolves took note that the wolf had died, they both soon turned to Chicacchironi -who was not paying any mind to them or the small, steaming bite marks on the back of his lower leg. At the same time, the both of them charged at the titan, clawing at its leg before backing up a little bit. It only kicked its leg once more, not bothering to see what had caused the annoyance as he stretched his arms up higher to try and reach for the soldiers of Hanji’s squad above. You darted your eyes to the side as you heard Hanji write down something in her journal, and watched for a moment as her eyes flickered back and forth from the scene -far away, yet still- in front of you as she scribbled away, speeding up and writing faster and faster as more time passed. Her slightly knotted muddy hair that usually framed her face was falling before her eyes, and she let out a huff of air to try and persuade the messy strands to go back to the side and out of her way. You could see from her profile that her goggles were slightly skewed on her face -yet they still covered her concentrated oaken orbs effectively- and she paused her scripture for a moment as she took her left hand to tuck the burgundy threads behind her ear.

‘Gah, focus!’ you scolded yourself as you pried your eyes off of the girl and back onto what was happening ahead of you, not being able to help the tint of rouge upon your cheeks and the small shake of your head as you willed yourself to focus back on the task at hand. In the short time you had looked away, Chicacchironi had turned around and seemed to have punted one of the other wolves, lying still on the ground with its neck twisted at an unnatural angle. The only wolf left -save for the one that was intently watching from it’s corner, now standing and watching carefully as the last other remaining wolf got ready to pounce on Chicacchironi- had its ears flattened and body readied as the titan drew near. The predator leapt onto the gigantic beast when it had gotten close enough, and the only thing Chicacchironi had done when the wolf latched itself onto the titan via its jagged teeth was grab the animal -who started to bark in its clutches while trying to claw and bite at his hand- and throw it on the ground, and whether or not it was on purpose, the wolf tumbled on top of the white tipped wolf. You moved to stand up quickly as you saw this happen, seeing the fully grey one unmoving, but the partially white one getting up with a small limp. You could only feel pity for the poor critter as it limped its way back to the sidelines, no longer residing in a corner as it had strayed too far from it to return there comfortably.

The brunette haired woman stood up next to you, intently looking over at the only surviving wolf with sadness and pity in her eyes, yet there was a hardness that had settled within them that made her look well accustomed to either sights like these, or things that no one should really ever have to see in general.

“We have to go in there.” you spoke up as Moblit walked forwards from his place behind you to join your conversation.

“As much as I don’t want to leave them there, what else can we do?” Moblit’s voice sounded, acting as a beacon of reason in a morally corrupt situation, “The titans are going to go after anyone that goes in there, we can’t risk human lives for one life.”

“But we put him in there!” you disagreed exasperatedly, feeling a strong urge to do everything you could to help the animal, “It’s not his fault he’s in there really, if we leave him down there he’ll either be killed like the others, or starve down there!”

“Captain (Y/N), I mean no disrespect, but the reason he’s down there was because he was attacking civilians. He’s… He’s going to not survive much longer no matter how you look at it.”

“So he deserves to have such a terrible fate? To be stuck in an enclosed area where he is injured, surrounded by the dead of his species, and to ultimately starve, dehydrate or be stomped on?” you asked, looking down at the ground in slight anger with tightened fists, yet knowing the man had a point regardless.

“That’s not what I’m trying to say, captain, I just… I don’t think it’s worth the risk of buying the wolf a few days when a human life that could potentially live for much longer is put on the line.”

“What if I go down myself?” you suggested.

Hanji’s head, that had been focused on nothing in particular yet facing the ground, suddenly looked at you, and when her orbs met yours momentarily you thought you found alarm in them. You were left searching for indications on her answer however when she looked away again, this time up at the sky, ‘She seems to do that a lot while in thought, I kinda wonder why?’

Moblit didn’t say anything as he awaited the section commander’s answer, and you didn’t let a peep slip out of your mouth, afraid that any wrong sound would make her change any thoughts she had in your favour. It took her a second, but then she spoke up, “Absolutely not.”

You frowned, “But why? I don’t mind going down there, it’s not really a big deal-”

“(Y/N), it's dangerous, that’s why.” she said as she made eye contact, hardened decisive pools of sepia meeting yours as they cooled off to a much calmer, sympathetic shade with a huff, “Convince me why you should go down there, and I’ll permit it.”

For a second you thought about bringing up that one favour she owed you, but you deemed it inappropriate to mention it, “Well, danger is in the job description, I’m capable, I’m the one who suggested it, my tanks are nearly full and I have full blades,” you listed off as you patted your gear as if to prove you had a sufficient supply of both gas and blades, “There really is no reason for me not to go down there.”

“Oh yeah, because there’s no chance of anything going south?” she asked passive aggressively with sarcasm laced heavily in her voice, before her glare loosened on your form once more, “That came out harsher than I meant it to, I just don’t like the idea of potentially losing… a really good soldier like you, y’know?” she said with a fake teasing grin, the façade hiding a concern that was easily detectable to your trained ears, ‘Not only can I hear it in her voice, but she tends to become defensive by using sarcasm when she is stressed sometimes.’

Despite clearly knowing that her playfulness was false, you went along with the charade, “Hey, it’s better I go down than either of you. You’re a section commander, and Moblit’s got that pocket watch you care about so much.”

She rolled her eyes, “Sure, sure, like that’s the only reason he’s around.” she said as her smile became slightly more genuine, “Just be careful, and wait to go until I say so, ok?” You nodded your head, happy to be able to save the critter in the pit from such a terrible fate, “Sure thing, Hanji.”

“Moblit, could you please go over to the soldiers over there and tell them that (Y/N)’s going in the pit and that they have to stay there longer?”

He gave a curt nod, before not wasting any time and using his gear to quickly head over to the other group. As soon as he left, Hanji spoke up once more, “You don’t have to do this, y’know. No one wants to leave him down there, trust me, but… I don’t know.”

You could see the worry on her face, and it made you all warm and fuzzy on the inside knowing that she cared about you, “Don’t worry, silly. I’ve gone on expeditions before, I’ve handled worse.”

“Maybe, but-” she cut her sentence off when something in the distance caught her attention, Moblit giving a thumbs up to show that he had successfully told the group that they were needed there longer. Flashing your eyes to the two titans below them, you saw Albert trying to dig his foot into the wall and climb up it, only for his attempts to get higher remain useless.

You gave Hanji a reassuring look as you took out the handles to your 3DMG, grasping them tightly in your hands as slight nerves over took you with fingers twitching over the triggers, “I’ve got this Hanji.” The mocha haired girl didn’t say anything but, “You’re good to go.” as she gave you a small weary smile, taking a step back as if to give you the proper room you needed.

You took one more glance at the titans, and upon seeing that they were both fixated on the soldiers above them, you took a few steps back before running into the pit, feeling your stomach flipping anxiously and your jacket flapping in the wind as you fell closer and closer to the ground. Eventually, you shot out the wires of your gear, swinging a little before you harshly landed on the ground, falling to your knees as you heard an abnormal metallic click of what you presumed was just some parts of your gear clicking together when your wires recoiled. Upon impact, you immediately looked to the two towering monsters before seeing that they hadn’t even noticed you, and that if they had heard the sound, they might’ve guessed it was the wolf doing something. With shaky knees you stood, not wasting any time in getting this mission over with. You ran over to the injured animal as quietly as you could -making sure to take cover behind the boulders that were littered about incase one of the titans looked behind them- feet pounding against the dusty ground carefully until you neared the wolf.

Glancing behind you one last time, you turned your back to the titans so then you could properly take care of the wolf. It whimpered as you drew near, probably thinking that you were going to hurt it or perhaps finish it off. It tried to get up and limp away when it decided that you got too close for comfort, but it was unable to do so, so in the end the only thing it did was whine even louder, ‘The Walls, this poor thing.’

You lowered your blades a little to try and show the animal that you meant it no harm, quietly whispering, “It’s ok, you’re gonna be ok. I’m just going to try and get you out of here, ok?” The wolf only bared its teeth warningly, scooting itself backwards and away from you a little more as it tried to make more distance between you both. As you neared more however, the wolf seemed to calm down a little, although it was very evident that the carnivore was weary of you still.

Once you got close enough, you moved your arm to grab around it and pick it up, however you quickly pulled your arm back as the wolf snapped its jaws at you, white tipped hears flattening against its head as it got into a -slightly off, because it was injured- stance to pounce on you, and you took a few steps back. So desperately you wanted to take a look behind you at the titans to see if they were still distracted, but you knew that would only cause the wolf to jump at you. Without seeing another option available, and seeing that the wolf didn’t want anything to do with you, you let out a saddened sigh as you aimed your wires to shoot out of the pit before shooting them. However, they didn’t shoot out like they normally did. You scrunched your brows as you shot them again. Nothing.

The panic began to set in, but you tried your best to remain level headed, ‘It’s ok, all I have to do is get away from this wolf and signal to Hanji and the others that my gear isn’t working so they can get me.’

As soon as you took another step back to try and get away from the wolf though, its eyes narrowed and it let out a guttural growl, clearing thinking of pouncing if you made another move. And unlike Chicacchironi, you couldn’t just kick him off of you if he managed to bite you. You would be in a lot more danger. Your eyes hardened as you tensed your arms, not wanting to but understanding that you might have to use your blades against the animal if it jumped out at you. There were a few suspenseful seconds before the wolf then lunged at you, snapping its jaws too close to your ankle for comfort as you jumped back once more.

The wolf didn’t stop it’s attack however, as it went for your arm next. Your reaction was faster though, as you brought your blade down on the animal without really thinking and using your pure instincts to defend yourself. Unfortunately for the wolf, this was fatal. The animal let out a pained bark as the blade was slashed across its chest -a rich red colour staining its fur and matting it, and some of the run-off dripping onto the ground and moving the loose dirt of the terrain away from the paling body- the wolf twitching and trying to move as you got closer with a frown, ‘This is awful, I’m not sure if this is better or worse than what it had ahead of it.’

Glumly, you moved to get closer to the animal, deciding that it would be best to put it out of its misery. When you went to do so though, you felt the earth beneath you vibrate, and the puzzle pieces clicked in your head almost instantly. Albert and Chicacchironi. They must’ve heard the wolf’s bark, and you were trapped down here with them.

You gritted your teeth as you looked over your shoulder, taking a split second to think over the best course of action while forgetting about the injured animal and focusing on the closing in beasts; to run, or to stand and fight. ‘Well, I most certainly can’t fight off a titan well on the ground, let alone two. But I can’t really escape from them if I choose to run away, Albert’s so much bigger than me that he could easily catch up, even if I could stand a chance with Chicacchironi for a little while. Eitherway, this isn’t looking too good for me.’

You knew what was the best chance of survival, and that was to stand your ground and fight. For the second time that day, you readied your blades, sharp edges glistening a little and shaking as the monstrous creatures got closer. Ten meters.

Nine meters. You tensed your body, and slightly hunched yourself over as you tried to get into a position to fight off the titans best.

Eight meters. You took a breath and held it, seeing the excitement in Chicacchironi’s eyes build up as he ran towards you with outstretched hands, Albert trailing behind not too far at a walk.

Seven meters. ‘I’ll try to cut off his hand first, if I can do that to his other, then he becomes a much less severe threat to me. I’ll have to try and do the same to Albe-’

Your thoughts were abruptly cut off as you felt a mass run into you from your side -picking you up and pushing you halfway onto their shoulder- you hadn’t even seen it coming because you were so preoccupied with the two humanoid figures rapidly approaching. At first you wanted to thrash about and fight, but you soon found yourself stopping as you heard working 3DMG wires shoot out and you felt the familiar uneasiness of your stomach that always overtook you when you were in mid air. The next thing you noticed was Moblit flying on his own gear behind the two titans, ready to kill either of them if it came to it. Taking a second to process that you were being saved, you quickly got rid of the blades that were in your 3DMG handles, not wanting to accidentally hurt the person who had saved you. ‘Who did save me?’

Before you could even try and figure out who it was, the both of you made it to the top of the pit and roughly clashed onto the ground, rolling around a little as you held onto the person instinctively, and they seemed to do the same. When you both finally stopped, you felt your head slam into the ground and you winced, before you felt a weight on your lower torso. Squinting your eyes open told you that you couldn’t really see much, the silhouette of the person darkened out by the brightness of the sky shining through the leaves of the gigantic trees. After a moment however you could see your saviour, and you felt your cheeks heat up a little; Hanji had saved you. The woman was intently looking over your body -her hands at your sides with her bladeless handles gripped tightly within them, you assumed that she had also removed her blades to ensure that she wouldn’t hurt you- checking over for any scratches or cuts before her eyes started to roam your face, drinking in the curve of your lips, the way how your hair splayed around your face, and finally your (E/C) eyes where she held eye contact for a second, an ever so serious expression held upon her features. 

“Captain, section commander, are you ok?!” you heard the panicked voice of Moblit sound as you heard wires retreat back into their mechanism, the man landing on the ground quickly and hands touching the ground as he caught his balance while he still ran forwards. The woman atop you quickly looked down and seemed to realize the position she was in, before jumping up and hiding her face into her elbow while coughing, yet you were still able to see the pale pink dusted upon them, ‘I guess she’s embarrassed to have been caught like that, I mean, I can’t really blame her.’ you thought as you tried to think about anything else except for the brunette in front of you.

Moblit finally reached the both of you and jogged to a stop, looking at Hanji first as he made his way over to you and offered a hand to help you up that you graciously accepted. “I’m perfectly fine.” Hanji said as she turned herself back to join the conversation, eyes saying at the ground as you gave your answer, “I’m fine, thanks to you guys. I tried to help him, I really did, but he reacted violently, and then I acted before I could really think, and…” you trailed off, before shaking your head to clear it of any negative or remorseful thoughts, ‘I tried, Whitey didn’t want my help.’

You came back to reality as you heard Hanji speak up, smiling as she let out a small chuckle and looked at you, “I guess I made up that one favour I owe you.” Rolling your eyes, you let out a small snort, feeling the tension that had once encased your entire body fade away, “Most definitely.”

Moblit joined in, “Section Commander Hanji, can we please take a break tomorrow? No titan testing or anything physical with the titans? You both should really have a break, it’s been work work work with you both and I don’t think that’s healthy!”

You could hear Hanji let out a puff, putting her hand on her hip as she shifted her weight and gained that playful atmosphere she always carried around with her, “There’s no such thing as working too much, especially when it involves titans.” she said. Moblit started to open his mouth to protest, but the girl cut him off, “However, there is something I want to do tomorrow, so I suppose a day off won’t hurt, as long as at some point tomorrow we go over the experiment that we did today.”

The surprised face on Moblit’s face -probably from how easily she had complied- made you snicker a little, and you brought a hand up to your face to try and cover your mouth, “That’s perfectly fine by me, section commander. Thank you.”

“No need to be so formal, Mobby!”

You could hear the man grumble complaints to himself as you couldn’t help it anymore and broke out laughing, missing the way Hanji smiled brightly as she watched you double over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 25 August, 2020!


	18. Serenity

**Friday, May 3, 850 at 04:56**

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**

“(Y/N), wake up! I wanna show you something!” You let out an incomprehensible grumble -one that you yourself were unable to make out- as you tried to pull away from the hands that were shaking you, ‘ _I don’t know who that is, but quite honestly, I don’t care. I need my sleep._ ’ Hearing a small snort at your reaction, the person only spoke up louder, insisting that you get out of your warm and comfortable bed, and go into the cold and unforgiving night air, ‘ _They must be mental._ ’

“C’mon, I thought you wanted me to tell you about what I found the other day when we were looking for the animals!” That piqued your curiosity. Slowly, you turned back towards the voice and squinted your eyes open, training them on the familiar face right in front of you who just so happened to be Hanji. Startled at how close she was, your eyes widened and you flinched backwards, rolling your eyes with a slight blush when you heard her giggle at your reaction, “Geez Hanji, there’s this thing called personal space…”

“Oh? I’ve never heard of that before, what is it?” she jested as you playfully glared at her, sitting up on your cot and stretching a little as you otherwise ignored her teasing. Once you heard a few satisfying pops and cracks emit from your back and shoulders, you looked over at the girl expectantly for an answer, “So? What do you wanna show me?”

“It’s not in here silly! We need to leave the tent to go see it.” Quizzically, you raised a brow, “Hanji, what time even is it?”

“Late enough into the morning to go, now c’mon!” she said, gesturing for you to follow her outside of the tent and into the wilderness outside. Reluctantly, you got up and went with the girl, ‘ _After all, she’s going to show me whatever she had to keep a secret before. Who wouldn’t want to see it?_ ’ You straightened out your jacket a little as you stepped outside of the tent, dodging your head under the flap Hanji held open for you as you saw that it was still dark outside, or more accurately, a little bit before dawn. “We have the whole day off, why do we have to leave so early?”

The brunette led you over to where the horses were being kept, going over to her horse and petting in between its eyes for a moment before turning her gaze back over to you, “Eh, just trust me. It’s more fun this way!”

You visibly shrugged your shoulders as you chose not to argue with the girl’s words, trusting them because she was the one who knew where you were going after all, “I’m guessing that were going to have to take our horses as well, huh?”

“Yup! It’ll be quicker, y’know.”

“Yeah, I getcha.” you agreed as you put a lead on Chestnut, leading the faithful horse out of his makeshift stable and out in a more open space so you could put a saddle on him. Gently, you told her to stay as you lazily let go of the rope -your tired brain not having thought of getting what you needed, _then_ taking the horse out of the stable- trusting that the mammal would remain put and listen as you went to get a saddle blanket and a saddle.

Once you had retrieved your desired items and started to make your way back over to your horse, you froze on your tracks, “Wait, we’re riding bareback?” you said in surprise, not expecting for the section commander -who was on her horse, Bramble, without a saddle- to want to ride bareback.

“I just thought it would be quicker,” Hanji admitted while scratching the back of her head, the reins attached to the horse loosely held in her left hand, “You can put yours on Chestnut if you’d like though.”

You looked down at your hands, thinking over if you really wanted to go without a saddle or saddle blanket, ‘ _Might as well not bother, it shouldn’t be too far, and Hanji clearly wants to hurry._ ’ Shaking your head no, you spoke up as you turned around to put the items back in their rightful place, “No, it’s ok. Just gimme a second to put all of this back.” You plopped them back where they belonged as you heard the chocolate haired woman quietly -as others might still be asleep, save for the soldiers standing guard around Albert and Chicacchironi’s pit- shout back a, “Yup!” You then jogged over to your horse, who hadn’t moved at all, and tried to get on it. Your first attempt ended with you almost falling on the ground -as you had failed to get yourself high enough to get on top of the animal. On your second try however, which was accompanied by Hanji’s stifled giggles and a playful glare on your part, was a success, causing you to have this winning smirk on your face as Hanji rolled her eyes at your overconfident reaction.

“C’mon, let’s go!” she spoke as she urged the horse to start moving, “We should be able to get there in time.”

Following behind her and soon catching up to her side, you noticed that she was heading down the main pathway that typically led others out of the forest, although there were a few outlets that led elsewhere -like to the village that you had visited a few days ago, “Where are we even going exactly?”

“You don’t want me to really tell you, do you?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

She turned her head to her side, her mocha orbs catching your (E/C) ones as she gestured her hands in a ‘well duh’ motion, “Because that would get rid of all the fun, there’s no fun in this if I spoil the surprise!”

You didn’t respond right away, opting to bask in the slightly cooled morning air of May as it settled onto your skin than reply, “I think you’re just some sort of masochist.” What you said wasn’t a question, but rather a statement. After all, this was the same woman who ran _towards_ the human-killing nightmare that the titans are. It wasn’t like you had much room to speak though.

“Call me whatever you want, all I know is that _you’re_ the real masochist here.” she said before leading her horse towards the edge of the path and towards where an offshoot was, “We need to go down here in order to get there, so are you ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be I suppose.” you replied, wondering in your head for a moment if this was safe for the horses, before deciding that Chestnut and Bramble had been through worse and would be completely fine on the narrowed path. At your confirmation, the woman started forwards, leaving you to follow closely -but not too closely- behind her as she led you further and further away from the main trail. No words were said, but there was a certain calmness that blanketed the both of you as you neared where Hanji was taking you.

Not too long after you had both started to veer off the path Hanji started to slow down, stopping at a familiar spot you recognised as part of the slim trail you, Moblit and Hanji had ventured on while looking for wild animals. “Is this where we're stopping?” you asked, eyebrows raised as you looked about. Nothing here was that noteworthy, ‘ _Although maybe she just wanted to tell me something in private? I don’t think there’s anything that she could tell me and not Moblit though, so perhaps she just really does want to show me something._ ’

“We’re not stopping here, but Bramble and Chestnut are.” she spoke as she heaved herself off of her horse, feet landing without falter on the ground, “The rest of the way is a little too risky for them.” You wordlessly nodded your head in understanding, hopping off of your horse as well as you grabbed Chestnut’s reins and looked for a good and sturdy tree to tie her to, “Here, this one’s good.” Hanji offered her help as she pointed to a tree next to the one she had started tying her own mare’s reins to.

“Ah, thanks.” you said as you began your task.

“No problem, this way Bramble and Chestnut can keep each other company too, y’know?”

Humming in agreement as you secured your horse to the tree, you turned back to the woman who was waiting for you patiently, following her into the brush as she lead you to what she wanted to show you, “How did you even come up with that name?” you inquired, not having thought of it before.

“Bramble’s?” she asked for clarification.

“Oh no,” you started sarcastically as you pushed back some shrubbery that was in your way, “I meant Albert’s.”

“Well geez, I see somebody’s a little snarky today.” she shot back jovially, and you could almost imagine the roll of her eyes that played out to complete her response, or perhaps a small smirk at her own retort that was just outside of your view.

“Hey, in my defence, I feel like it was pretty clear who I was talking about, I mean really. Who else would I be…” Your words trailed off as you followed the section commander past another bush and saw why she brought you here. The view was absolutely beautiful.

After you had stepped into the slight clearing, the first thing you saw was a ledge that overlooked a gentle river, the slow flowing water allowing for various animals like ducks to play in it and deer to comfortably drink from it. You could even see a few robins swoop down from canopying trees land near it’s shore and hop about, either looking for something to eat, finding a small offshoot to drink from, or perhaps to simply just mess about before their day really started. But what had really caught your breath was the beginnings of a sun rise that had managed to slightly peak through the trees, not allowing you to directly see the bright burning ball of fire, but providing warm, colourful ribbons of reds, oranges, and yellows to make up for it.

You only managed to snap out of your stupor when you saw Hanji move a little, flickering your eyes over to her and seeing that she was just as taken away by the view as you were, “Is this what you wanted to show me?”

“Yeah,” she replied without taking her eyes off of the view, “I just didn’t realize that it would be this pretty.”

Softly smiling, you shook your head at what she admitted while walking closer to the edge, “Wanna sit down? Just take in the view and everything, y’know?”

“That’s what I was gonna say.” she said before coming up beside you, you had already positioned yourself comfortably on the edge -your one knee folded so that your foot was under your other knee- and it wasn’t too much longer that Hanji joined you crisscrossed (apple sauce).

“How’d you even find this place?”

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“Hanji, we’ve already been through this. There isn’t another surprise or anything, is there?” you asked as you tried to subtly glance around.

“No, no, not anything like that.” she admitted, “I just…, I don’t know.”

“Well now I have to know, c’mon, you can tell me.” you encouraged, your curiosity getting the best of you. “Truthfully, I found this spot while um,... while using the _restroom_.” she said, before quickly waving her hands as if to dismiss something embarrassing, “I didn’t go here though! I mean, I found thisplacewhile _looking_ ,andonceIfounditIlookedelsewhere,that’swhyittookme so long to get back to you both the other day because…” she trailed off as her sped up dialogue slowed down, realizing that she was rushing her speech.

You however only laughed at her partial embarrassment, finding it amusing how quickly her cheeks had gone pink, “It’s ok Hanji, I trust you didn’t piss where we’re sitting.” you said a little crudely, yet you meant the words. She wasn’t that type of person, or at least you thought so anyways. You could hear her let out a little laugh of relief as her once slightly tensed up shoulders relaxed.

Asking that one question had caused you to remember the one you had asked before that never got answered however, so leaning forwards and looking down at the river, you asked, “How did you come up with Bramble’s name?”

“Oh yeah, I’d already forgot you asked that,’ she chuckled a little as she continued, “To be honest I’m not really sure, I just kinda looked at her and thought of the first thing that came to mind.”

“Bramble came to mind?”

“Yup.”

“Huh.”

You watched as you could see a few fish jump out from the river below, although you knew that there should be more popping out and into the water based on rivers you had seen as a child when game was more plentiful. It was only logical to assume that fishermen had been exhausting this stream -or perhaps not this one, but one that supplied the water for it- as they had been with many others when game became more scarce, and you fought off a sad frown at the thought that you would maybe never see a whole bunch of fish jumping out of the water in the morning like you had when you were little, ‘ _I can’t be the only one who sees the distinct lack of fish here, right?_ ’ you asked yourself as you took a side glance at the brunette at your side before darting your eyes back below you, ‘ _I mean, surely Hanji does. She’s usually very observant and keen on things, even if it doesn’t seem like it at times._ ’

Your eyes flickered over to the girl once more when Hanji brought a knee up to her chest and stretched her left leg outwards towards the rising sun, leaning back on her palms as she let out a calm breath of air, “This is very nice. Just being able to sit down and see the world be calm.”

“Yeah.” you agreed, observing the flowing water once more. Closing your eyes, you saw the red cover your eyelids provided as you used your ears to listen around you. There were birds chirping, the constant, never-ending flow of the river below you, the clacking of a deer that was making its way across some stones below. You had been surprised at first that the animal had not run away, but you decided that the animal had come to the conclusion that you weren’t immediate threats by the way it had warily watched you before.

In the distance you could hear either Chestnut or Bramble whiney in the background, and while at first you had brushed it off as nothing, footsteps soon followed -accompanied by a voice, “Section commander? Captain? Are you here?” Your (E/C) eyes met up with Hanji’s chocolate ones, her voice sounding her response to the one both she and you recognized as Moblit’s, “Yeah, Moblit?”

“Section Commander Hanji! Captain (Y/N)! I’ve been looking for the both of you for about half an hour now!”

You felt a small pang of guilt hit your stomach, feeling bad for the caramel headed male who had probably been panickedly looking for you both, “I’m sorry Moblit, I should have told you that we were going somewhere.”

“If anyone’s to blame, it’s me, Moblit. I’m the one who took her over here, but in my defence, just look at this view!” Hanji said as she pointed to the risen sun with a smile, trying to convince the man that going over here was worth it.

He let out a sigh, eyes lingering on the sight before him as he drank in the picturesque scenery in front of him, “It is rather… beautiful, section commander. But why couldn’t you have at least told me?”

Hanji patted the spot next to her, and when the male sat next to her you felt a small shot of jealousy run through your veins that you tried to ignore, ‘ _They’re just friends, I know that._ ’ you thought as you spaced out, ‘ _I mean, that’s all Hanji and I are, but still. If something was going on between them, Hanji would have told me. After all, she called me her… best friend. Ouch, that… that most definitely still stings._ ’ You fought off the grimace that wanted to form on your face as you tuned yourself back into their conversation all while vehemently wishing for the dull ache to stop, “Section commander, just because it’s early doesn’t mean that I don’t want to at least want to know where the both of you are going, it’s my-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s your job.” she said with a dismissive wave of her left hand, “I’ll make sure to tell you next time, but as for right now, why don’t we both go over the testing that happened yesterday, seeing that the three of us are here anyways?”

Perking up in your seat -that was made of a few stones, leaves, and twigs on the ground- a little, you agreed with her, “That sounds like a great idea!”

“Might as well,” Moblit added in, body relaxing the slightest bit as he took in everything that had just happened -you could only imagine that losing the both of you had caused him great stress that he was just now cooling down from.

“Ok, for starters, it seems like Albert and Chicacchironi didn’t seem to care about the wolves that much,” Hanji started, “Even when they were directly attacking Chicacchironi, he didn’t give them his full attention. He only tried to get them away from him when they were bothersome and biting at his legs, but as soon as they backed away from him, he seemed to forget about them and continue reaching for my squad above him.”

“Yeah,” you joined in, taking out your journal to write down a few of the main points that were being discussed, “He completely ignored Whitey too, besides when that one other wolf had been thrown at him, which actually brings up another good question; did Chica do it on purpose?”

“Oh! I thought about that too!” Hanji said as she clapped her hands and looked at you excitedly, “The wolf was so well aimed that it did look like he had done it on purpose, but Chicacchironi hadn’t really been showing any aggression to wolves that were leaving him alone. Based on that, I’m leaning more towards the side that it was just coincidental, but what do you think?”

“I was thinking the same thing as you, although we should probably keep an eye on him and see if he, or either of them really, shows any signs of intelligence like that. I mean, you said they weren’t abnormal, right? Chica and Albert certainly don’t seem like they are.”

“No, they should both be pure titans. They don’t show any signs of being abnormal, although yesterday has me questioning Chicacchironi a little bit…”

You looked down at you hands in thought, twiddling your thumbs absentmindedly as you played with them, ‘ _I kinda wonder if abnormal titans start out as pure titans, but just start to think about what they’re doing, or how to do it smarter. Like maybe seeing us humans doing things when we’re fighting them, and applying it to what they do in day to day life, almost as if they learn… Can they learn?_ ’

“Hey Hanji?”

“Hm?”

“Do you…,” you paused for a second, hesitating to ask the girl, but ultimately coming to the conclusion that you had asked to test more outlandish things -namely the whole idea that titans use sunlight as a source of energy, “Do you think we could run a test tomorrow to see if titans can learn?”

She didn’t take long to ponder over it in her head, instead flashing a bright smile your way as she replied, “Of course! Last time you went on a limb, it ended up being correct. Besides, this one is more plausible at least, because some titans do seem to have some kind of thought process besides just ‘chase the closest human.’” she said while making her voice deeper, as if to mimic a titan’s voice. You let out a snort at her words despite how dark they actually were, listening when she spoke up once more, “How were you thinking to test it?”

“I’m not really sure, but we should probably try and show them how to do something and see if they pick up on it.”

“Ah, I getcha. We should probably find a motive for them to learn though, and seeing that humans seems to be the main reason they do anything....”

“Section Commander Hanji, I hate to interrupt, but are you suggesting that we try to give the titans a way to get to us?” Moblit asked in disbelief, you had turned your head just in time to see his eyes widened in either complete surprise or terror -which one it actually was you truly had no clue.

“Yup! Oh, wait! What if we try to get them to move those boulders in the pit?”

Jumping in, you asked, “Like trying to get them to climb them somehow?”

“Exactly! It would provide a motive and we could easily just cut their legs to make them fall back into the pit if need be if they get too close, right?”

‘ _I mean, sounds good to me. They’ll try and climb to get us, and we’ll have people ready to jump in there and cut their legs down if need be. We could always try to tie them up again if it comes to it, we’d just have to keep cutting their legs off or whatever until sundown. Y’know, I kinda wonder if they’ll think of climbing out of the pit on their own or not, there are some titans that try to pull themselves up outside of Wall Rose after all, so maybe if they’re left alone for a few days, they’ll think to use something inside the pit...like maybe those boulders in there! There might actually be enough for them to climb out of the pit too, but even if that is the case it shou-_ ’

“Earth to (Y/N)! Anybody home?”

You blinked your eyes, only now realizing that you had spaced out, “Heh, sorry about that Hanji.” You shook your head as you recalled what she had told you about, making sure to avoid eye contact with her so you could focus properly, “That sounds like a great idea, do we want to just give them a few days just in the pit to see if they think of something like that themselves?” you suggested, trying to incorporate your earlier thoughts as you studied the branches of the trees above your heads, “Just to make sure that they need a stimulation to follow from, in a sense? Like maybe they’ll think to use those boulders in the pit without us doing anything if we give them some time by themselves, y’know?”

Out of the corner of your eye you could see her bounce up a little, clasping her hands together in excitement, “I don’t see why not, while we’re waiting we can write down how they behave better in a more “natural” environment where they’re not being tested on and allowed to roam free! If they can actually learn this is going to be such a huge breakthrough!”

The both of you missed Moblit’s exasperated face however, with his jaw dropped and everything, truly left wondering if either of you were mentally stable as he muttered to himself, “They’re insane...”

Poor Moblit...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 2 September, 2020!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! ((Also I got eight different books in french, and the language nerd in me is very happy lmao :P))


	19. Rocks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so a quick note. Chapter 20 is the last chapter I will be uploading until the start of a month long (four weeks) break. I will come back on the 14th of October, obviously this year haha
> 
> I just need to catch up writing wise and such, and during the meantime that I am not posting for this exact story here, I will be posting, every two to three days, a one shot to try and make up for it in a sense. I hope you have a great day, and thank you for reading this! ^^

**Tuesday, May 9th, 850 at 13:59**

\---------------------------------------------------------- **  
**

_Day 1, Entry 1 (4th May, 850; 10:31)_

_This is Day one of four! Today Captain (Y/N) and I (along with my squad) are going to start leaving the titans alone for a little while just to see if they come up with a way to get out of the pit. Currently, we have guards still in Albert and Chicacchironi’s view, but after two days we’re going to move them back so then the titans can’t see any human life whatsoever. It’s going to be difficult staying out of their view, but I’ll do what I have to to find out more about the titans. We’ll probably end up in the tree branches, so then we can see them, but then it’s unlikely for them to see us. I should also note that we are going to note down what happens if they do something, meaning that there will be no entries that have nothing happen besides the summaries (if nothing happens that day.)_

_-_ _Section Commander Hanji Zoë_

_Day 1, Entry 2 (May 4, 850; 23:59)_

_Day 1 summary: In the end, nothing much happened. Chica and Albert ended up scratching up at the pit’s walls like they usually do. I’m hoping that once the soldiers step back and out of their view, that they’ll start doing something, if not before that._

_-Captain (Y/N) (L/N)_

_Day 2, Entry 3 (May 5, 850; 23:58)_

_Day two summary: nothing much has transpired. The titans kept scratching at the walls once again, but Chicachironi kept on making strange noises. It was a mix between a laugh and_ _a yell, but not quite as loud as someone would think when they think of a yell. Perhaps as loud as a muffled one, but crystal clear and not muffled at all. Albert was as quiet as usual. Section Commander Hanji and Captain (Y/N) were forced to go to sleep by Moblit just now, so they are not currently here to take notes._

_-Soldier Abel Müller_

_day 3, entry 4 (6 may, 850; 06:33)_

_the soldiers on guard have stepped back and out of sight like instructed by section commander hanji before she left, and the titans are just now starting to get up for the day. im in a tree (as i was instructed, once again) and taking notes, and based on how they arent going to the pits walls, i think that theyre not going to do much. they’re not interacting with each other either, theyre just ignoring each other and moving about in there_

_-soldier harold fischer_

_this is only a few minutes after my last entry, but albert is sitting down, which is something that he has never done before, besides before night falls. the shorter one, his name is chica-something-or-other but i cant remember how to spell it, is still walking around normally. the section commander and captain will probably be happy to be able to observe titans in their natural habitats when no humans are “present”_

_-soldier harold fischer_

_Day 3, Entry 5 (May 6th, 850; 23:59)_

_Day three summary: As it seems to be with the other days, nothing had happened to indicate that they were going to try and use other things in the pit (namely the boulders that are in there with them). Given the results thus far, I’ve made the decision to cut the allotted time shorter and try and teach them how to get out of the pit tomorrow._

_If they don’t learn how to climb out, then we will continue to observe them while leaving them along to see how they act in a more natural environment without humans (we’ll stay out of their view, which we’ve already established is the main sense they use to determine what is a human and is not). If they do learn from us how to get out of the pit, then we’ll have more important things to test on, like trying to teach them how to do different things to get out of the pit to test how much a titan can really learn._

_-Section Commander Hanji Zoë_

Your eyes shifted from page to page, skimming the written content to ensure that you had copied everything down correctly. Transcribing was never your favorite part about the experiments you did, but you supposed it wasn't your least favorite part either. At least you had a table to write on this time, being inside your tent currently with all the notebooks sprawled out on it. As soon as you and Hanji finished writing, you would have to give them back to their rightful owners. Speaking of giving back, "Hey Moblit, did you get your pocket watch back?"

The caramel headed soldier had lent his pocket watch to the others so that they could properly record the time when you and the section commander were sleeping, that way he wouldn’t have to keep running back and forth just to tell someone the time.

Hearing his name caused his head to snap over to you, and after he listened to your question he nodded his head, "Yes, captain." Then almost as if to prove the validity of his words, he snuck his hand into his breast pocket and pulled out the metal mechanism, before dropping it back in there and closing the flap of his pocket. Letting out a chuckle, you closed your own journal as you took a glance at Hanji to see how far the brunette had gotten. To your surprise however, she must have already finished transcribing the entries she didn't write into her notebook, because all that remained of her were two footprints on the dirt ground, followed by more that lead to the outside of your tent.

‘ _That’s strange, Moblit must’ve seen her left, and yet he didn’t say anything about it. Usually he freaks out about these kinds of things. Maybe he really_ didn’t _see her leave? Eh, she could have spoken up and I might not have heard it because I was so focused too, that’s a possibility._ ’

You collected all of the field journals that were on the table, overall consisting of yours -which you put back in your pocket- Harold’s, Abel’s and Hanji’s, ‘ _At least she left me her journal here for me to look over again if I wanted to, that was sweet of her._ ’ you thought with a light blush, ultimately shaking your head to try and clear it of the section commander. Without much more to do in there right now, you started out of the tent, holding open the flaps for Moblit who was close to follow behind.

“Captain, would you like for me to give those back to the soldiers?”

“Oh, that’d be nice of you Moblit,” you said with a smile, handing him Abel’s and Harold’s, “I’ve got Hanji’s though, I’m heading right over there.”

“It’s no problem, Captain (Y/N), just please, keep Hanji out of trouble.”

You let out a laugh, lightly punching him in the arm as he tried to hide a smile, “I’ve no clue what you’re talking about, she’s an angel!”

All Moblit did was give this look, choosing not to do anything verbally, but rather just give you this stare that told you he opposed what you were saying, “Also, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, but you can call me (Y/N) y’know.” you started as you tried to persuade the male to call you by your first name, lowering your voice to a whisper, “Just think about it, it could be a sneaky jab at Hanji! To use my first name but still use her title despite her trying for longer!”

He rolled his brown eyes, shaking his head a little to either show disagreement or to just simply get his hair out of his eye that was kind of in his way -’ _Or at least it looks like it would be in the way_.’ you absentmindedly noted, “I don’t know if I’m _that_ petty, captain.”

If you were drinking any sort of beverage, you would’ve just spit it out. You started cracking up, not ever expecting in your life to hear Moblit use the word ‘petty’, used sarcastically or not, “You...did not... just say that!” you wheezed out, clutching Hanji’s journal to your chest as you tried to calm yourself down. You could see Moblit’s face go a little red in embarrassment, yet he still spoke up, “Just go over to Hanji, will you?”

Letting your laughter die down, you gave him a bright smile, “Sure thing!” You flickered your eyes over to Hanji at the mention of her name, and felt a shot of adrenaline rush through you when the said girl turned her head away, pulling her cocoa pools away from your (E/C) ones that had connected temporarily. You tried to make yourself forget about the encounter, telling yourself that she had heard Moblit say her name and that was why she had looked over, “Have fun, Moblit.”

“You too, captain.”

The both of you then parted ways, you heading over to Hanji, and Moblit heading over to the mentioned soldiers to give them their belongings. When you finally reached the woman, you took note that she was looking over at the titan's in the pit, carefully observing them in a crouch as they clawed back at the few soldiers who we're back on guard and once again in the titan's view, given that there was currently no need to hide from them. "Hey Hanji, I've got something for you." You said, also getting into a ctouch as you went down to the woman's level.

She turned her head a little towards you, but she ultimately kept her eyes glued on Albert and Chicacchironi, "Hm? What is it?"

Rolling your eyes at how captivated she was by the nature-defying creatures before you both, you held out her journal so it was in her peripheral vision, "Did you already forget about your journal?"

"Oh!" She gasped as she turned back to you suddenly, soon falling on her behind as the movement threw her off balance. She put her one hand on the ground to catch herself and then to lean on as she reached out the hand closest to you for her journal, ignoring your deadened giggles -you put your hand to you mouth to stifle the laughter- as she soon started to stuff it in her breast pocket, "Yeah, I just wanted to make sure that you got it all down." She admitted, closing the flap of her pocket as the notebook fell in and made itself at home in the snug fabric compartment, "Thanks for bringing it to me."

You gave her a genuine smile, "It's no problem, if anything I should be thanking you for leaving it behind."

"Don't worry about it," she spoke as she stretched out her legs before her, fully accepting that she had fallen and wasn't planning on getting back up right at the moment, "What we do have to worry about however, is how were going to suggest a way for Albert and Chicacchironi to get out of the pit."

You let yourself fall backwards just as she had, although you braced yourself a little better and stopped your fall with both hands as opposed to one, ' _I don't even wanna think about all of the dirt that's going to be on my pants afterwards, it's gonna take forever to get out!_ ' You then moved yourself to sit in a more comfortable position and soon after looking up to the oaken haired girl, starting to explain a possible method, "Well, we could try and find rocks around here that are big enough for us to climb. After all, the similar appearance to the rocks we might use and the boulders in the pit we want them to use might help them make a connection, y'know?"

She nodded her head, "That's what I was thinking as well, or at least something along those lines. Worst comes to worst, we can take some logs that we've been using to cook meals with, and stack them up to climb and show them. Because, well, rocks are kinda heavy, so it might not be possible for us to actually use them."

You pulled over it as you shifted a little, squinting your eyes at nothing in particular as you thought her words over and soon spoke up, "What if the titan's can't pick up the boulders in there? They're kinda big, and I can only imagine how much they weigh." You said, before looking down at the pit and seeing just how big some of them were, "Now that I think about it, I'm not sure that Chica could even move some of these."

Hanji followed your gaze as you looked upon a few boulders in particular, her maroon orbs glancing over some of the bigger chunks of stone for a moment before speaking, "You might be right about Chicacchironi not being able to move a few of those, hey, Albert might not even be able to budge a few, let alone move them close enough to utilise it properly to get out of the pit. But they don't have to actually get out of the out in order for this to be a success."

You raised a brow, "Huh?"

"Well the main goal of this experiment is to see if the titans can learn, not necessarily give them a way out. As long as they can get a few of the smaller boulders on the side of the pit, or even try to order them in a way where they can just climb them, it proves that they _can_ in fact learn."

"Oooooh yeahhhhh," you let out as you realized that she was right, "That's right, I'm sorry. I got sidetracked there, I guess I just kinda really want this to work, because who knows what we could do with this information."

She gave you a smile, before turning to stand up, "I can't blame you, I want the same thing." The section commander let out a grunt as she pushed herself off the ground, looking at you afterwards and giving you a hand to help you up, "We might as well start looking now for rocks, there's no point in stalling." Accepting her hand, you tried not to think about how soft her hand was in yours -or about how right it felt within your own-, and instead focused your thoughts about where you had seen any rocks around that would fit the job description properly. When you were finally on your own two feet once more, you let go of her hand, "Thanks." you said with a nod of your head.

"It's no problem."

Wordlessly, the both of you started to head off, walking along the forest line to try and see if there were any rocks that looked like they would be easy to move all while fitting the criteria you required. Of course many of the rocks you came across were simply too small for the job, as they were easily crushable under your boots or so misshapen and round that neither of you could comfortably step on it without risking snapping your ankle in the process. After a little while of searching however, the both of you started coming across rocks that were better fit for the job. They were up to your knees or more, and they were not so round to the point where you couldn't keep your balance.

"What about this one?" you asked as you pointed your finger at a certain piece of hardened earth. It looked like it was on the bigger side, meaning that it would be harder for it to be transported back, but overall it looked as if it would serve you both well.

Hanji turned her head to the one you were talking about in particular before heading over to it, leaning over it slightly and pushing her thumb against some of the moss that was growing on top of it and rubbing it off, "It looks like it'll work well, I don't see why not. The moss isn't wet either, so it doesn't have to be taken off in concern for one of us slipping."

You nodded your head at her reasoning, and at your second confirmation that you thought this boulders like rock was worth the trouble of getting out if the growth it was in and over the the edge of the oit where it could be used, Hanji got the attention of her most trusted soldier, "Hey, Moblit?!"

Said man snapped his head up from where he was, and once he saw the section commander waving her arms for him to come over, he turned over to one of the soldiers he was with -or was too far away for you to see who clearly, but whoever it was had darker hair- and spoke to them quickly. It wasn't much longer that the soldier started to jog over to you both, not bothering to waste precious gas to do what he could, even if it would take him longer. That being said, it still didn't take that long for the caramel headed man to get to Hanji and you, and once he did, Hanji didn't waste any time explaining things, "So, you know how we are planning to try and teach the titans to escape the pit?"

You bit back an amused smile when Moblit visibly tried to hide a grimace that etched itself on his face regardless of his wishes, "Yeah?"

"Well, (Y/N) and I were planning on doing so by bringing rocks over near the pit and climbing on them to try and give them ideas. Like stack them to get higher and such, the whole shebang, y'know?"

Moblit didn't give any verbal input, opting to simply start skimming his eyes across many rocks there until his eyes landed on the biggest one there, the one you both wanted to bring over, "So, could you take a few soldiers and try to get this rock," she said as she pointed to the wanted mineral, "over there?" She finished I a question as she lastly pointed her finger at the spot where you and the brunette had been sitting not too long ago.

"Of course, Section Commander Hanji. We'll do our best." He spoke as he took a second to take in his surroundings, committing them to memory the best he could so he would be able to come back to the area easily once he got the people he needed, "Will we be able to use our horses?"

"Of course, and thank you, Moblit."

He then soon turned away, already leaving to get a start on his sudden order, "Y'know, that went surprisingly smoothly." You said as you and Hanji already started to stalk off. She gave you a curious look, one brow raised as she showed her confusion at your statement physically and soon verbally, "What do you mean?"

"Well, he has the nickname Mother Moblit for a reason."

"What is there to go wrong? This one isn't nearly as close to the titans as they have been in the past."

"You're not wrong there, but plenty can still go wrong. For instance, we could fall off and sprain our ankle, we would fall into the pit if we're clumsy enough, we could-"

"Okok, geez! I get it, it can still be dangerous," she said before her eyes got a more mischievous tint to them, "Maybe you should be called Mother (Y/N), because right now you're not sounding any better than him."

"Oh no, my precious ego." You said dryly, although you couldn't help the grin that tugged at your lips, "I think that's a compliment more than anything."

Hanji let out a snort, and the both of you then continued on your journey to find good rocks that filled your needs, "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

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**

"Yeah, we can push it from there. Right, Hanji?"

"I guess we'll have to see," Hanji said as some of the soldiers -nearly all of them who weren't on duty- took a step back to give you and her the space you'd need to have the titan's full attention. ' _I just hope that we can get them to pay attention to what we're doing long enough to possibly learn from it. I mean, thinking about it, it shouldn't be too out of the question that they can learn, almost all other animals in the animal kingdom do. So what would make the titans different from other animals? I guess we'll have to see._ '

Hanji turned over to you for a second, giving you a look that you knew meant something along the lines of "Are you ready to go?" Replying with a curt nod, you couldn't help but watch as she then signaled to the soldiers on guard that they could step back out of view so Chicacchironi and Albert would focus on her, a more determined crease of her brow over taking her original, calmer one. Once they stepped back, you and Hanji walked forwards -well, one of you walked, the other skipped- and into the titan's view, the woman soon speaking up, "Hey Albert, Chicacchironi!"

The two titans didn't respond, with words or actions, yet the section commander continued on as if they had, "We're going to try and tell you guys how to get out of there! All you have to do is try and climb those boulders, ok?!" She shouted, making giant movements with her arms to point at a certain rock that was behind them. They didn't bother to look though, instead choosing to continue clawing up at the wall with upturned heads, observing her every move and hoping that either you or her would fall in. After a few moments passed with no answer, Hanji let out a huff and looked at you, "Ok, this is the part where we move these rocks and try to climb them. If they're too heavy, we'll just have to use logs."

"Sounds good to me." you agreed. Then the both of you made your way over to one of the smaller rocks there, angled your bodies so that you could push your shoulder and arm against it, and started pushing. At first, nothing had happened. But after a few determined pushes, it started to move, ' _If we can't move some of the rocks later on due to some form of fatigue, we'll have to get some of the soldiers to help us._ ' Digging your heels into the ground, you forced yourself to push harder when you saw that your end goal wasn't too far away now, all while making sure to look everywhere but where the woman in front of you was.

After a good five minutes of struggling, it came to no surprise that the titans had started to wander around the pit, slightly losing interest due to the fact that they couldn't see -or really hear- you. But as soon as the both of you were content with the placement of the rock, you called their names and they came right back over, and whether or not they paid any attention to the rock that was now there was a mystery to you. The process was repeated four times, until you eventually had to get some horses to move the last one to properly move it in place. Each time the titan's would lose interest in you both, but each time either of you would call them back, beckoning them to stay and watch you build the stone staircase.

Then it was finally time to climb it.

"They're watching, right?" You inquired as you leaned over the pit to take a look, and despite you knowing that they were watching you now, the woman still responded to your question, "Yup, let's go!" It was only when you looked at it with the goal of climbing it did you realize how difficult it was going to be. Unlike you, Hanji started right away, taking a few steps back before heaving herself on top of the first rock, soon waving her hand for you to follow, "C'mon, it's just a rock! You've got this y'know."

"Yeah, yeah." you grumbled, slightly doubting in your head if you really could climb all of it, "I'm coming."

Taking steps back like she had, you gave yourself a running head start and -to your surprise- easily made it onto the first rock. The others were going to be harder however, as you didn't have a running head start. Hanji then tried slinging her leg to climb the next one, and when she struggled a little, you put your hands on her back, held back a blush, and gave her a boost. "Thanks." she said with a smile, for the second time that day offering you a hand that you accepted. Placing your boots on the rock to get good leverage, you pulled yourself up with your arms and pushed yourself up with your legs, "Thanks." You said with a slight smirk, fully aware that your word matched her previous one exactly. She rolled her eyes and looked on at the next one you had to climb, ' _This is going to be fun._ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 9 September, 2020!


	20. Troubles

**Tuesday, May 7th, 850 at 14:23**

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**

“Do you think that they’re even going to try and move the boulders at this point?” you asked with a slightly pessimistic mindset, although the more positive side of you said that you just needed to wait a little longer. Hanji gave you a pointed look from her seat next to you, legs dangling into the pit as she sat at the edge, “We have to give them time, (Y/N)! Genius doesn’t strike quickly y’know.”

“Yeah, yeah. I guess I’m just excited.” you reasoned, figuring that your impatience was caused by the fact that you really wanted a breakthrough. Opening your mouth to make more idle conversation about why you would want Chicacchironi or Albert to try and climb out -in your mind you hoped that both of them would- you froze when you saw Hanji go into a standstill, staring out ahead of her in what seemed to you like shock. “Hanji? Are you ok?” you asked as you reached out an almost apprehensive hand towards her. Before you could do or say anything else however, the woman suddenly managed to shoot up, barreling towards you and shaking your shoulders as she pointed one hand towards the pit, wordlessly mouthing many words that begged to be voiced aloud. While you couldn’t make out many of her words -not only because it was _Hanji_ , just also because of the erratic movements she was making- you were able to decipher the words ‘look’ and ‘pit’ relatively easily from her garbled, hushed mess of phonemes.

When you finally looked over, you saw one of the most splendid things you had seen in a long time. There, in the pit a good ways away from you yet as clear as day, was Chicacchironi hitting up against a rock and ramming into it. Was it able to move it? Not at all apart from a few tremors that shifted it a little. Was it trying to climb it to get out of the pit? No, Chicacchironi wasn’t even trying to jump on top of it or anything. But was the titan exhibiting strange behaviour, a kind that seemed to show signs of learning? ‘ _It really seems so! It’s either that he has learned, or he is just coincidentally interacting with this rock despite the fact that he has shown no previous interest in it or any others beforehand._ ’

Once you had seen what had gotten her so excited, you yourself soon matched with her ecstatic smile and jumped to your feet, shouting in a whisper yell, “This is great!”

Hanji didn't respond to you, but rather turned her head back towards the pit with a ginormous grin, looking back at the small titan with an almost proud gaze. To you it seemed like she was almost holding herself back -which made you smile to yourself, after all, what was cuter than an excited, happy Hanji?- but as much as you would have loved to gush over the sight more with her, you still needed to go get Moblit for such an event, ' _It's simply too monumentous for him not to see. Honestly, everyone should be called over, but I don't think that many chances for a distraction would be a good thing._ '

Without planning on pulling her out of her thoughts, you took one last glance at the section commander before turning on your heel and to your ultimate surprise, bumping into Moblit, "Ga-" you half shouted, plastering your hands on your mouth as if that would muffle the noise that had already been made. Moblit's hands quickly reached out to your shoulders when it looked like you were about to fall over, and in a swift moment you completely let go of your surprise and broke out into smiles again, this time quieter, "Moblit, look! Chica's moving stuff around!" This time he was the one taken off guard as he raised a brow at your words, and when you moved to head back over to the pit, you had to try your best not to let the eyes of Hanji, desperate to not let her know that you noticed her looking your way. Before you could even get to the pit all the way however, Hanji stopped the both of you and spoke up to Moblit, ' _Ooh, she wasn't looking at me, she was looking at Moblit. Well, at least that makes sense I suppose…_ '

"Moblit, Chica's pushing a boulder!"

Now hearing this twice, Moblit had more incentive to believe these words held validity and weren't just something you had schemed together to try and trick him for whatever reason you had deemed worthy enough. The caramel headed soldier took steps closer to the pit and got close enough to the point where he could just see the beast, eyes widening in wonder and amazement as he saw that the both of you had told the truth.

It was only a few hours later that the nine meter titan had joined Chicacchironi in trying to move the rocks. With the two of them working together, they soon pushed the boulder over and against the wall of the pit, then scrambling to get on top of said chunk of minerals and more. Chicacchironi wasn't able to get on top of it, but Albert kept scratching up at the top once he was up higher, desperately attempting to reach the humans that we're still a good bit out of his grasp. Soon enough however, night came and the titans slowly sank to the ground as they fell asleep, the energy needed to sustain movement leaving them paralyzed on the floor until dawn the following day. When they finally did get up -Chicacchironi got up first, getting to the already placed boulder and trying to climb it once more- they eventually got back to moving another boulder to the first, placed in such a way that they believed would allow them to climb up higher. Unfortunately for them, this still wasn't enough, but after the passage of multiple hours and much labour from Chicacchironi and (mainly) Albert, the taller titan was just able to get the first set of his knuckles above the pit of the wall. This made one pair of titan-loving individuals overly ecstatic…

\----------------------------------------------------------

"(Y/N)! Look!" Hanji shouted with starry eyes, mouth almost drooling as she held her cheeks with her hands and did something along to a happy dance, soon spinning in circles and doing other extraneous movements that were guaranteed to not tire her out. You yourself couldn't help but look at it partially awestruck, truth be told, you didn't completely believe that the titans would even be able to pile the rocks high enough in a fashion that would allow for them -or rather one of them- to reach the top of the pit. Before you would really think about anything, Hanji sprinted forwards towards the hand and you barely were able to match your own onto hers before she was out of your grasp, effectively stopping her from literally running into danger and trying to persuade her to wait for Moblit to come over, "Hanji, wait up! We should let Moblit get here first…!"

She rolled her eyes and simply tried to tug her hand out of your own, "Oh c'mon, since when was caution our main concern? We've done riskier things than this!"

You gave her a skeptical look, "That doesn't mean that we should just rush over when it'll only take a minute to be safer Hanji."

"We _will_ be safe though! We'll stay far back enough, besides, he can barely reach over it!" She pointed out while throwing her unfettered hand towards the whitened knuckles - you supposed he was straining himself to keep the edge in his grasp- on the ground.

Letting out a sigh, you gave up, not being able to help the way your face broke into a mischievous grin as you did nothing to stop her anymore, "Y'know, you get concerned for safety at strange times."

Tugging on your hand -it was only now you came to the realization that you still held her hand in yours, and soon found yourself vehemently wishing that your palms wouldn't get sweaty from nerves- she quickly pulled you towards the gigantic hand, "Well… Getting into that pit when they're awake is quite different from when they're either not able to reach you -like now- or when they're dormant."

All while making sure not to pay too much attention to her hand, that your hyper aware self couldn't help but keep pointing out in your head, you responded with a valid point, "But there was that one time when we both went in there to check stuff with their regeneration times and abilities!"

"That was different, I was right down there with you, along with my whole squad being ready to zip down there at any moment."

"Ohh," you said as you trailed off, being reminded of when Hanji had managed to save you from being torn apart from the titans in the pit. Yeah, your life was constantly being out on the line, especially in your role in the Survey Corps, and while it didn't particularly scar you because of how acclimated you were to such a hostile environment, you still never completely forgot about such moments. Soon you felt yourself unwilling to argue with her point, "Yeah, that seemed fair."

You ignored the inquisitive look she casted your way, opting to divert the attention back to the titan as you pointed at it with the hand you pulled away from Hanji, "Let's see how they stacked the rocks from this angle!"

It took a second longer than you had expected for the woman to join your side, yet she did so regardless, "I certainly didn't expect for Albert to be able to get to the top like this. Titans certainly seem to be full of surprises as of late though, dontcha think?”

You took a second to think it over before coming to the conclusion that quite a bit about the titans has been coming to light as of recent, “I can’t argue with you, I mean, first it was with the titans and their energy source, and now they can supposedly learn… At this point, we should just try testing on things that seem implausible to find out more. That’s what it seems like at least.”

“You’re not wrong, who knows what the next thing they’ll throw at us will-” Hanji suddenly halted her speech as she looked down at the monster who had shifted beneath her, this time with his full hand above the edge of the pit and allowing for the titan to grope around for anything it could ensnare it it’s fleshy trap. With the hand that was reached up a little too close for her comfort at first, she jumped back a little, putting more distance between her and the hand as she unconsciously pulled you back a little as well. That didn’t last for long however.

The brunette soon moved closer to the hand, watching how it moved and taking as many mental notes as she possibly could to ensure that she would miss next to nothing, “Hey there, Albert! Whatcha looking for?”

You yourself went closer to the hand, although not as quickly as she had, to properly observe it. The fingertips were digging into the hardened dirt, forming rivets and crevices that were sure to stick around once the titan decided to move its hand once more. “S-Section Commander!” you heard from afar, and as soon as the voice entered through your ears you realized that Moblit hadn’t been present until now, ‘ _Dang, I feel bad for not remembering him…_ ’

Hanji moved her head around the appendage that seemed to be staying still for the meantime, half paying attention to what the male was saying, “Hm?” The soldier had stopped running over and stood at the side of the woman almost protectively -as it was his job- as he waited for the beast to dare to make a move, “I don’t think you should be this close, please Section Commander, back up!” Hanji looked as if she was going to retort for a split second, but whatever was going to come out of her mouth soon came to a stop as a low rumble -seemingly from movement- came from her left and she quickly backed up, Moblit following soon after as they both neared you more. The hand on the ground moved back a little, and Hanji let out a cry, “No, wait!”

Before she could even think about nearing anymore however, the titan brought up its other hand and put it on the ground further than the last one had been, effectively pulling the nightmare closer to you and further from the bottom of the pit, “Moblit, quick, sketch that!” the brunette shouted as she tugged on his sleeve and waved her hand at the hands that were slightly steaming and cut up, yet still aiding the titan in seemingly scaling the pit’s wall. Moblit fumbled to get out his journal and pencil to quickly copy the image down, almost dropping his pencil as he caught it in mid air in his sudden rush. Albert shifted a little more in the pit and soon enough, the titan could see over the edge, crystal blue eyes peering at the three of you. A deep rumble was heard once more, but this time it wasn’t the beast moving up the wall any further. No, this was a gutteral mix of a groan and laugh, one that slightly shook the ground beneath your feet, and if you had to picture what Albert’s face looked like right now, you could only guess the animalistic and cruel smile that was plastered at the small success he had achieved.

His hands soon shifted and the two guards who were currently on duty -Lauda and Keiji- soon rushed over, waiting for an order from the section commander on what they should do. She didn’t answer their silent question, choosing to walk towards one of the hands to see if the titan was going to make a mov if given the chance, “ _At this point, with everything that is comin to light about the titans recently, I wouldn’t even be that surprised if they suddenly wanted peace… Ok, maybe that’s not exactly true, but who knows at this point._ ’ Before she could even get into its range though, the beast shifted around and tried to claw at the higher up, missing yet causing her to jump back as her excellent and well trained reflexes kicked in, “Hey! Albert, no! Bad!” she scolded, although she had a small smile on her face as she was able to safely interact with the creature that had caused terror on others. Hanji took a few steps away from the monster and turned her back to it, stepping out of its range and ordering Lauda and Keiji, “Lauda, Keiji, please inform the others that they need to report to the pit.”

“Yes, Section Commander!”

“Yes ma’am!”

Once they left, you and Moblit took a few steps towards the woman -the male had already stopped his frantic scribbles on the parchment- hearing her mutter, “That one’s new, I’m not _that_ old, am I?” to herself. Snorting, you gave a small roll of your eyes, “You? Old? Please, you certainly don’t act it.”

Hanji gave you this look, as if asking ‘really?’ before turning to Moblit, “You don’t agree with her, right?”

Where she sought confirmation however, she found nothing but silence, “Oh c’mon! I can’t believe you guys!” she said with a shake of her head, yet the turn of her lips splayed on her face said it all; she found it just as amusing as you did. You let out a few chuckles while she gave you a jovial glare, “Whatever, I don’t need you guys to know that I’m a responsible and mature adult.”

_Rumble rumble._

The three of you jumped in surprise, startled by the sudden sound but even more surprised by the few fingers that had managed to wrap around Hanji’s legs, causing the woman to stumble and forcing you and Moblit into action. You both sprinted forwards, you going to cut off the fingers that held the woman down and Moblit stopping the other hand that tried to reach over from doing anything. Careful as to not hurt the girl, you hacked more towards the base of the fingers, effectively making the beast let go of her and giving her access to her 3DMG that had once been pinned at her sides and rendered useless. Upon seeing that the section commander had been freed, Moblit swung his blades one last time before slipping out of its reach and flicking his blades at the ground with experience to rid them of the dripping, rich red blood that coated them in a film.

“Are you ok?” you asked her with concern, “I didn’t nick you or anything, right? He didn’t break your legs by squeezing too tight?”

“No… Wait! Yes I’m fine, no to the other two.” she said with a small and gentle chuckle, letting out a huff of air as she emptied out her lungs, “Sorry, I just get shaken up from time to time still, that’s all.”

There was a notable silence that went across the area, the void space soon being filled with various footsteps as the soldiers that were ordered to come over were finally heading to the pit.

Hanji was going to simply tell them about a new guard schedule that would add two more people to ensure that Albert didn’t get out, but now she had partially changed her mind and ordered them to put a small barrier around the very edges where Albert could reach so what had happened would not happen again.

**Wednesday, May 9th, 850 at 09:07**

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“But there’s so much that we can learn from them still!” Hanji argued, glaring at Moblit as he provided a sound counter argument.

“Section Commander Hanji, please, correct me if I’m wrong, but the whole point of the Survey Corps is to _protect_ the citizens, right? How are we doing that by keeping two titans that have a high chance of not only escaping and terrorising citizens, but also have the small possibility to teach other titans how to climb and stack if they come in contact with others?”

“That’s implausible, Moblit. The wall broke almost five years ago now, and there aren’t exactly any titans in the Walls except for these two right here. Trust me, I would know considering how hard it was to get them. And we won’t let them get out, that’s why we have _guards_.”

The burning embers in her eyes only heatened the glare she was sending his way, and you swore if you looked close enough, you could see a small one on Moblit’s face as well, ‘ _He’s never one to like opposing the section commander, but when he believes that the best for humanity is not what’s happening, he’ll fight for it._ ’

Currently you were watching the both of them argue over killing Chicacchironi and Albert, as the latter had been climbing to the top of the pit more and more until this last time where he had almost successfully gotten out of the pit. And Chicacchironi had been climbing the inside of the pit like he had seen Albert doing to get on top of the rocks, a very scary and real sign that the titans could truly learn. You felt like a child watching their parents have a real fight for the first time, a feeling dread crawl over your stomach as you saw the pair that usually got along really well argue.

“(Y/N)! Surely you don’t agree with him, do you?” Hanji asked while not taking her eyes off of Moblit, wordlessly asking for your back up, ‘ _Oh shit, ummmm, ok, ok. Pros and cons. Pros of killing them; no threat of them getting out, no worry about them somehow spreading knowledge and making the titans a much more formidable foe. Cons of killing them; we won’t see how much they progress learning wise, we won’t be able to test on them… Humanity really does need to get more titans to test on, but also Moblit is terribly right. The whole point of the Survey Corps, the military really, is to protect the people within the Walls. So it really comes down to, is it worth possibly sacrificing lives to possibly gain intel? Gah, why is this so difficult?!_ ’

You could feel both pairs of eyes on you the longer you took to reply, and you felt a shot of adrenaline rush through you as you realized that you were going to hurt someone here regardless, ‘ _I guess there’s not really a point in choosing sides people wise… dang it! If I had to choose one, I would kill the titans to ensure the safety of humanity! Besides, we were able to bring in titans from the outside before, Albert and Chica are clear proof of that! So why not kill these ones, we can always try to teach others if we really need to…_ ’

“I…” you started, looking at Moblit for a split second before drinking in the image of Hanji’s determined face. She looked almost livid in a sense, but you knew that her anger wasn’t senseless. And that’s why it partially pained you to say, “I have to agree with Moblit, we can’t…- we can’t risk civilian lives.” but it pained you even more to watch her face fall apart from that determined fire to a betrayed hurt. The girl looked to the ground, lost in thought as she gained back some of that fire and glared at the ground, “Any lives are worth knowledge on the titans, we _need_ to sacrifice some lives to save even more…”

“Hanji,” reaching out a hand, you tried to get the attention she wasn’t fully giving, “We signed up for this. It was our choice. They didn’t.”

“You think every soldier who signs up wants to risk their lives?”

“That’s not what I’m trying to say, Hanji. They’re at least prepared for it in a sense, they know that it could almost happen to them at any moment.”

She didn’t speak for a minute, and you felt the guilt and remorse build up in your stomach as the woman looked up but avoided eye contact with you, maroon hair pushed out of her eyesight as she shook her head momentarily, “Fine.” she spoke kind of harshly.

“Kill them then.”

You then watched the soldiers jump into the pit one by one, first killing Albert as he was the easiest and closest one, and then Chicacchironi. The small titan jumped down from the wall and charged towards the closest humans possible, and you felt a small burn in your chest as the titan fell to the ground and slowly turned into a pile of steam, then a pile of steaming bones, then only a few indents in the dirt it had created when it fell to the ground.

It was the start of a very sad day, among many other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited yet, sorry about that, school is tough man
> 
> Updated 16 September, 2020!


	21. 21║The Battle for Trost

**Wednesday, May 9th, 850 at 12:37**

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**

“She’ll come around.” Moblit comforted as he put a friendly hand on your shoulder, knowing that the section commander -who was currently acting passive aggressive- would see the reasoning behind the both of your decisions. “I know…” you started, “I’ve seen her like this before, but I’ve never been on the receiving end of it.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to leave the overview of the pit just yet, and you couldn’t help but feel some sort of bitterness on the back of your tongue, ‘ _I know I shouldn’t feel bad for them, I mean, they’re titans! ...They_ were _titans. Still though, they’re in a better place now, they can’t hurt us and I’m sure Chica and Albert are happier too._ ’ No one was in the pit, and nothing else was aside from some dirt, stacked boulders, unstacked boulders and remains from the dummies and wolves that you never had the chance to clean up, ‘ _We’ll have to do that soon, I can’t imagine that we’ll be staying here much longer now that there is no purpose in it._ ’

“Captain (Y/N), I just want to say thank you. I know you sided with me based on your own beliefs, but still. It just didn’t feel right leaving a titan, possibly two, with chances to escape with that much power.” Moblit said as he took a step back, also looking into the pit and tracing his eyes along the lines pressed into the dirt by either Chicacchironi or Albert. You looked up at the male and gave him a weak smile, the best you could manage while feeling guilt with how Hanji reacted and the deaths of the two titans, “Don’t worry about it Moblit, even if it isn’t why I sided with you you’re still a good friend.” He gave you a smile and nodded his head, soon followed by a brief silence that was then in turn followed by his voice, “I’m going to go check up on the section commander and see if she’s cooled off a little.”

“Of course, have fun Moblit.”

“You too, (Y/N).”

You couldn’t help but have a more genuine smile this time as the male called you by your first name, without a doubt an attempt in cheering you up. Hearing his boots slowly fade off as he made his way to where Hanji was, you turned your head up to the sky. You observed the outlines of the branches, each one leading until they got smaller and thinner, until eventually they faded into green, vibrant and budding leaves, every once in a while shaking the tiniest bit under the weight of a scurrying animal or perhaps a gentle breeze that was missed on you. Looking up at them caused a sense of security -that no matter what happens, everything will be ok- and you took in a breath, closing your eyes and only sensing everything around you, ‘ _I’ll have to do this more often, it’s actually quite relaxing._ ’

You weren’t given the chance to bask in the peacefulness nature was -for once- giving you though, as you heard a faint yell in the background, “SECTION COMMANDER!”

Snapping your eyes open, the yell startled you and caused you to jump. You couldn’t help but turn your attention to whatever announcement this soldier had to give, jogging over to them as they waited for Hanji with a slightly panicked look and a slight shift of their legs. Hanji darted out of your shared tent -eyes searching all over until they landed on you and rested for the smallest of moments- before finally landing on the soldier who -you just now noticed- was holding some kind of parchment, presumably with a letter on it. The soldier rushed over to Hanji and quickly bowed, holding the paper out with both arms for the woman to take. She didn’t waste any time in taking the parchment out of her hands, muttering a quick, “Thank you.” as her eyes skimmed over the written words, never faltering as you finally reached the soldier, Hanji and Moblit. You watched as the girl’s brown hues widened in surprise, quickly furrowing her brows as she bit the bottom of her lip in thought, “Tell me, do you have any other letters to deliver?”

“No, Section Commander Hanji.”

“Do you have further instructions?”

“Yes, I am to evacuate everyone nearby Trost within Wall Rose, then go into Trost to stop-.” Hanji raised her hand, cutting them off as she soon ordered, “Then get to it.” You rose a brow at this, ‘ _Evacuate everyone? What for? The only time anyone had to be evacuated was…_ ’ you felt your stomach drop, ‘ _No, there’s no way it happened again!_ ’

The woman soon after turned to Moblit, who seemed to be thinking along the same lines as you, “Go prepare Bramble and Chestnut, we’re heading for HQ now.” She then raised her voice as he ran off to the temporary stables, loud enough for all of her soldiers to hear her, “Everyone! Get to your horses, now! Then follow me!” Stomping could be heard about as the soldiers rushed to do as they were told, “(Y/N), come with me to pack our necessary notes while they’re getting ready.”

You didn’t hesitate to follow after her, running and over all forgetting about her previous grudge, just like she seemingly had -even though you warily suspected that it might return later in the future once things had settled down once more. If everything was going as you suspected though, you just hoped to live to see it. Barging into your shared tent, you took your one backpack and threw everything out of it, clothes spilling onto the floor as you soon stuffed it full of half of the notes that were brung, Hanji taking the other half -the bag it had been stuffed in was too big to carry on horse. Once the both of your were done, you rushed out of the tent and whistled for your horse, the loyal mare -and soon Hanji’s when she called out for hers- galloping to your side and allowing for you to hop onto of her with ease, even with the backpack that weighed you down. Then the both of you wordlessly headed off down the main trail that led out of the giant tree forest within Wall Rose, the rest of the soldiers following behind you and Hanji as you hurried off, “Hanji, what’s happening?!” you shouted after a moment, even though deep down, you already knew what had caused all of the rush.

“The Colossal Titan has reappeared!” she shouted as she spared you a worried glance, most likely feeling the same adrenaline rush as you when she uttered those words, “Titans are invading Trost, and Erwin has suspicions that the Armoured Titan might pop up too!” You grimaced as you remembered all of the bloodshed from last time. You had been a mere graduate the first time, yet you had still managed to survive the attack on humanity as the titans slowly took over the insides of Wall Maria. But now that it was happening again, you could feel your stomach drop, sweat form on your brows, and your hands shake as they tightly gripped onto the reign of your horse, ‘ _No! You were and are a part of the Special Operations Squad, get a hang of yourself!_ ”

Despite the fact that you were still heading to where you would possibly die, you felt yourself calm down a little and tried to give the section commander a reassuring grin that you were sure she didn’t need -given her high position, you were sure she was used to such stressful events- but appreciated nonetheless, “Then let’s beat him to Wall Rose! To HQ first, right?” you shouted back loud enough for her to hear.

She gave you a half smile back, “You know it! C’mon!” she commanded as she waved her hand forwards to the people in the back, soon urging her horse to go faster. You leaned forwards as you did the same, ignoring all the bouncing as something kept swimming in your head, ‘ _Today is one sucky day._ ’

**Wednesday, May 9th, 850 at 15:58**

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“Does everyone understand?!”

Erwin received some nods, some hesitated nods, and some unresponsive stares. One thing united them all however, and that was the fact that each and every one of them showed the utter terror in some way on their face -whether it was by nearly showing no emotion at all, or nearly crying as they listened to what was about to happen.

“Then go! Offer up your hearts!”

By the time you had got there, the HQ was completely empty, and when you finally found Erwin, he had just finished instructing. You, Hanji, Moblit and the rest of Hanji’s squad soon rushed over to the blonde, where he was quick to address the titan-loving brunette, “There’s a lot to explain, but I need everyone to stay focused, and fulfill your duty as soldiers fighting for humanity. As of right now, there is a cadet from the 104th who can turn into a titan, and he is currently working on sealing up the hole the Colossal Titan had kicked through the outside of Trost, just like five years ago.” Hanji let out a gasp, clearly not having been told that there was a shifter based on the look on her face. The woman became restless, opening and closing her mouth as she tried her best to hold her words in her mouth and not spill them while the commander was speaking, “I need you and your squad to go and keep titans at bay, while trying to keep civilians who might be left safe when possible. Understand?”

“Erwin, how, when, wh-?!”

“Hanji, not right now! Human lives are on the line!”

For a second when you spared a glance at the girl you could have sworn that she was going to ask any, verbally protesting the man’s wishes when it seemed to hit her; Erwin was right. There wasn’t any time for questions like the ones she had.

A defeated sigh left the girl for a moment, before she realized that she needed to stay focused in such a time of crisis, “Yes sir.” Hanji responded with a curt nod as she soon turned on her heel to command her squad. You however had to take a moment to process the information, ‘ _A person who can turn into a titan…? That’s unheard of…. I- Just what?? No, no, focus yourself (Y/N), just accept it as fact so you can stay focused on the upcoming battle._ ’ With a look of realization crossing over your face, you couldn’t help but have your eyes widen a little, ‘ _This is going to change everything, and possibly open so many doors for titan testing as well._ ’

“-so everyone do as told! And make sure that you don’t stray too far away from your groups! (Y/N) and Moblit,” she said as she flickered her eyes over to the both of you and away from the group of soldiers that were already starting to follow her command, “I need the both of you to stick by me, you’ll serve as my own gr-”

“Hanji, (Y/N) is needed with Levi, it’s part of her duty as a partial Special Operations member. (Y/N), he’s over near where the wall was kicked in, but to the left.”

The woman spun around at this, “But-!”

“Hanji! Now is _not_ the time!”

She stopped for a moment before letting out a sigh, reluctantly realizing that he was right once again before she sent you off, “You heard him, just..., stay safe, ok?” You gave her a lopsided grin, “Only if you do.” before running off to your horse and hearing Moblit and the section commander converse in the background about their plan.

As you were running away you couldn’t help but shake your head, ‘ _Really (Y/N)? That’s the last time you might see Hanji, your crush and lovable best friend, alive, and all you say is, “Only if you do”? That’s probably the cheesiest thing you could have said in that moment, is that really what you want to be remembered by if you die here?_ ’ You took a quick glance up at the sky, seeing that there were a few heavy clouds above, none that really indicated that it was going to rain, but rather that maybe it had before. Nonetheless you pushed yourself further with one last thought, ‘ _I guess I can’t die out here then._ ’

With a slight, overconfident grin, you checked your blades and gas as you ran, and upon seeing that they were completely full, you hopped on Chestnut and headed for Wall Rose so you could scale it with your 3DMG. You fully knew that it would be a lot quicker than waiting for one of the carts to bring you up the wall -and seeing as the gate that had been open previously was now closed to keep the titans out and the civilians in, you could only assume that that was no longer an option.

It didn’t take as long to reach the wall as one would have normally thought, given the gargantuan size of the Walls. Once you had tied your horse somewhere safe -praying that she would be safe should something happen- and reached the top you didn’t give yourself a chance to freak out from nor think about how high you would fall from and just ran off, jumping off the edge and feeling the wind whipping at your hair, causing you to squint your eyes as you readied your blades against the wind resistance.

As soon as you felt like you were at a good point to shoot off your wires, you did so, letting them semi gracefully catch you as you started to bob up and down the aisles of houses while searching for the Special Operations Squad. ‘ _Thank the Walls I timed that right,_ ’ you thought, ‘ _Otherwise I might not come out of here alive._ ’

 _Boom_.

You looked around you, trying to push out all the memories you had surrounding that one infamous noise, as you tried to spot the formidable beast that had caused it, ‘ _It’s almost ironic that I was almost in tears over a titan about an hour ago, but I just suppose that’s how life is, isn’t it?_ ’

_Boom._

Your eyes finally locked on the creature, a tall, bald monster with sunken in eyes. Not too far away from it was another, and you couldn’t help the way your stomach flipped as you rushed over to kill the beasts, seeing as they seemed to have some sort of prey in mind, ‘ _I can only pray to whatever God or gods there may or may not be that whoever they’re after is another soldier and not a civilian so I don’t have to worry about keeping them safe or take on two titans at once._ ’

_Boom._

You neared the bald one, seeing as from your position it was the easier one to attack, and swung yourself near its ankles, smoothly cutting the both of them as you then used a nearby building to propel yourself up with some momentum, heading straight for the nape of the soon-to-be-dead titan. Angling your blades appropriately, you managed to cut through its nape without many troubles as well, something that partially surprised you as you had assumed your skills were a little rusty -which was in fact rather dangerous. You landed on the building that you had used before to swing yourself upwards, giving the second titan a little bit of time to gain some ground, ground that you could save by not using too much gas. Before it could get too close however, a black, green and white blur spun around the titan, blinding it with partially dulled blades and cutting around it once they -seemingly instantaneously- replaced their blades, soon looping their wire around the front of the titans neck and pulling their wire in, sending them flying closer to the nape of the titan until they cut through it with ease, much more than you had with the last one.

It was only when the soldier landed next to you that you realized who it was, and you had to restrain yourself from facepalming -despite how serious and grave the situation was- that you had once thought _they_ were in danger, “Who told you you could steal my kill, (L/N)?” You partially glared at Levi, surprised that he was the one making quick remarks during such a crisis, but continued to stay on task rather than comment on it, “Erwin did, indirectly of course but still him all the same. What’s your game plan?”

The short man directed his steel eyes over to the rest of the Special Operations Squad, who was currently working on taking down two more titans who had just came by -you had guessed based on the fact that there was a steaming titan corpse on the ground not too far from them, “We’re trying to head over to where that Jaeger Brat is trying to seal the hole.”

“Jaeger, they’re the 104th cadet?”

“That’s what I’ve been told. Now c’mon, we don’t have time to waste in chit chat.”

“Yes, sir.” you said with formalities that hadn’t slipped out of your mouth in a long time, ‘ _I guess old habits die hard._ ’ You shot your wires off and followed him to where Petra, Oluo, Gunther and Eld were while the ever-so-strict corporal didn’t give a verbal answer -as it wasn’t needed-, landing on a building near his squad silently as he onlooked all around him. You yourself landed on a rooftop not too far off, about to jump in and join your squad but not being able to do so as they had already finished their task of killing the titans. Petra and Oluo landed on the same building the corporal had, and Eld and Gunther -being the best friends you could ever ask for- didn’t hesitate in landing on the building you were on and standing by your sides as the corporal relayed what he had told you seconds prior to the rest of the group, “We are continuing to advance towards the hole, and protect Jaeger at all costs!”

“Yes sir!” all five of you shouted before soon heading off to do as told. At the same time, Gunther, Eld and you took off in a run along the length of the building, and in the far distance you could see the gaping hole kicked into Wall Rose that still had titans coming in through it. No one spoke a word, too afraid that a single moments distraction could cause an unnecessary and preventable death, ‘ _I honestly have no clue what I’d do with myself if I was culpable for either of their deaths,_ ’ you thought with a shift of your eyes to the two men at your sides, even if there was a good space in between you three given that you were using 3DMG.

_Boom._

There it was once more, that dreadful sound that you hated ever-so-much -don’t get yourself wrong, you loved to experiment and find out more about the titans, just as long as they were _contained_. You weren’t quite sure why, but your brain automatically made the connection that while doing the free tests on the titans with Hanji, and how even when you were being chased by them in the pit -save for that one time where both Chicacchironi and Albert were chasing after you when you tried to save that wolf- you hadn’t felt as scared as you did now. ‘ _I suppose it’s only because here, it’s more likely for me to die. Unlike in the pit, there aren’t people always ready to jump in and save me when things get rough, nor is there that sense of comfort and familiarity that there always was when testing on them. This is titan territory, and anything’s fairplay._ ’ You shook your head as the thought flashed through your mind quickly, trying to rid it as you knew you had to focus right now, “Does anyone see it yet?!” you yelled aloud to the two males.

_Boom._

“Not yet!” the blonde responded in a shout, voice deadly serious with his clenched jaw - which was one of the telltale signs of his anxiety -as you had picked up on over the previous years.

Gunther opened his mouth to say something but soon stopped for a second, the warm brown eyes of his soon locking on a figure, “Seven meter titan, nine o’ clock to me!” Both you and Eld didn’t waste time going closer to the tan male, always making sure however to leave a good distance in between the three of you to ensure that you would be able to use your gear safely and without intercepting each other. Looking around at your surroundings, you noted that you were able to see this 13-15 meter titan -you couldn’t really tell with the distance- with a giant boulder resting on its neck, heading towards the hole not too far away from you now, ‘ _That must be Jaeger._ ’ You soon focused back on track however as your eyes fell upon the smaller titan’s own blue ones -even though it had first been going toward the 104th cadet, it was now paying attention to you- despite that fact that it’s vision seemed to be partially obscured as it’s long black hair was in front of its eyes. You couldn’t help but think that the mustache it was sporting didn’t fit it’s look either, but you tried to get rid of that thought rather quickly, ‘ _Now is_ not _the time!_ ’

_Boom._

Gunther, the one who always ended up leading operations when Levi wasn’t present, soon gave out commands, “(Y/N), ankles! I’ll get eyes! Eld, nape!”

No one argued with him as you all set out to do your tasks, you soon swooping to the ground and shooting out your wires at a good angle for you to slide close to the ground, so close that you had to make sure your blades didn’t scrape across the ground and either break them so you wouldn’t be able to properly cut the ankle of the titan by the time you reached it or alert the titan of your presence. Despite what could have happened, you managed to keep yourself a good distance from the ground and cut both ankles seemingly effortlessly, and as soon as you angled your wires to propel yourself upwards and onto a close building, you heard a louder than before boom, signalling that the monster had fallen to the ground. It wasn’t much longer after that that Gunther soon sprung himself towards the titans face, blades held out in a fashion that allowed for him to easily and smoothly release the metal components of his gear and embed them into the beast’s eyes.

It was only when Eld shot out into the air to make the final attack that you realised that he had saved probably the most dangerous part for himself, and you felt some kind of anger towards him for always putting himself in danger like that, ‘ _It’s always on expeditions that he gets close to their faces, or their arms. I’ve never managed to ask him if it’s intentional or not, but I just really hope he’s smart enough to keep himself safe._ ’ You only snapped out of your thoughts when Eld landed next to your side, watching as the dead corpse of the titan fell to the ground and started to steam profusely, “That went relatively well.”

“Yeah, good job guys.” Gunther added on once he had shot himself across the street.

You looked down at the steaming corpse with slight satisfaction, although it didn’t last long given that you soon reminded yourself about what happened hours prior with Albert and Chicacchironi. Shaking your head, you agreed with them, “I have to agree, that went surpri-”

**_𝘽𝙤𝙤𝙢._ **

You could feel wind blow past you and push you out of balance, and if it weren’t for fast acting Eld who had shot out his wires into the rooftop to stabilize himself and dropped his one handle to grip onto your upper arm, you would have fallen off of the roof easily. Letting out a small shudder, you gave him a quick and stuttered, “Th-Thanks” and picked up his blade for him with a shaky hand, looking and checking to make sure Gunther was ok too in the process. He had just managed to catch himself, him closer to the edge of the roof than any of the three of you had been, yet secured all the same to the rooftop.

“No… No problem.” Eld responded breathily as he took the blade from you with a nod of his head

No one said anything for a moment, all three of you frozen in partial shock -which could very well end up killing you one of these days, especially on the battlefield- until finally Eld spoke up once more, his usually calm eyes pouring out traces of panic as he struggled to come to a conclusion as to what had produced the -literal- earth-shattering noise, “What-! What was that?!”

“That’s just what I was thinking,...” Gunther said as he retracted his wires, recoiling them as he started to walk towards the elevated center of the roof with a much calmer reaction than the blonde had given, “Whatever it was, it sounded _huge_.”

“You’re not wrong there.” you added, remembering that not even the biggest titan you had ever seen had been able to make such a noise or effect. The three of you then made it to the top of the roof together, Eld at your one side and Gunther at your other as you onlooked at the sight; a plugged hole in Trost and a gigantic puff of steam that could only come from a decaying titan.

“Holy shit… I think- I think he did it.”

There were still thuds in the distance that you could hear, signifying to you that while no more titans were entering Trost, there were still titans _inside_ of Trost. Your quick moment of rest soon ended as you heard cables shooting out of their compartments and dragging a soldier -or two- along with them, “Well, don’t start celebrating yet.” The male voice was immediately recognized, by both you and your two comrades at your sides as you looked at the sandy blonde, “There’s still a lot more of those bastards to kill.”

More boots landed on the ground as Petra landed at Oluo’s side, her serious face seeming to crack a little at the familiar sight of you, Eld and Gunther together -although it still had it’s characteristics etched in it that reminded you of your current situation, “Oluo’s right, Jaeger might’ve placed the rock, but there are still titans in Trost.”

You took a quick glance around as you didn’t oppose her, there were still titans about for sure, but the majority of them were crowded around a corner far back against Wall Rose, in the direction of Wall Sina that you could just manage to see, ‘ _Someone must’ve thought to try and concentrate them in one corner so the job was more attainable. I’ll have to bring it up to Hanji before all of the titans are killed, but I’m almost certain that that makes one of the best conditions for capturing titans for testing. I wonder who thought of that though, I’m kinda impressed, I must say.’_ You raised a brow in curiosity as you onlooked, but didn’t have time to question who had thought of such a plan as Gunther soon spoke up, “We kill any titans near that Jaeger kid still, and look out for Levi on the way. That way we’ll be able to follow official command as soon as possible.” Then he started to run off, the four of you who were left to follow soon doing the same, jumping off of the roof in different directions but all reading towards the same spot -the plugged hole in Trost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Ik Ik, this was posted very early. But 1. I missed posting normal chapters and 2. I'm tired and not sure I'll wake up in time to post it with out being late. So voilà, here you guys go lmao ^^
> 
> Updated nine-ish hours before 14 October, 2020!


	22. 22║Eren Jaeger

**Wednesday, May 9th, 850 at 17:43**

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**

‘ _I can’t believe we’re doing this now, of all times._ ’ You had honestly thought the brunette would have been more excited to go learn about the new and exciting titan shifter that was -as you have come to learn- Eren Jaeger, so that’s why it took you by surprise so much when she started -metaphorically- dragging you off in the direction of Wall Rose, more particularly where the hole had been formed by the Colossal Titan in Trost, as soon as she got the chance. Currently you and her were heading to the top of said Wall, so you could go on the outer side of it and try to see if there was anything left behind, which you had to admit, didn’t sound like the dumbest of ideas. Surely you had done stupider things in the past for lesser reasons.

You looked ahead of the both of you, seeing that you were currently right in front of your destination, just fifty meters lower than you needed to be. Normally you would have just used your gear to zip yourselves up there, but Moblit had surprisingly convinced the brunette to wait for the cart system to do its job. So without much more than to wait with the brunette alone -Moblit and the rest of Hanji’s squad was stuck on cleaning duty after the terrifying events of a few hours ago took place, requiring all able-bodied soldiers to immediately begin unless excused- you felt a slight awkward tension hanging in the air. It was only earlier today that mocha haired girl had been upset with you about the killing of Chicacchironi and Albert, and you could only assume that now things had cooled down and Humanity _wasn’t_ at the risk of losing Wall Rose, she went back to her once forgotten gudge. You supposed the fact that the girl hadn’t been upset with you when Erwin sent you off to Trost before was a good sign that she wasn’t going to be mad at you forever though, and just that she needed time to come to terms with it.

You went back to observing everything around you -anything except Hanji to be honest- in the end choosing to look at the ground and noticing how normal it looked in comparison to the rest of Trost, which included torn apart buildings, mutilated bodies, and forever scarred people wandering around, be it soldiers on duty or unfortunate citizens who just happened to be caught up in the whole mess. Like it always was right next to any of the Walls -’ _Even Wall Maria, when Humanity still had it in its grasp._ ’- there was an absence of wind, giving the surrounding area an odd, still atmosphere.

“How are you feeling?”

Your head snapped up, not having expected the girl to want to talk to you yet, and given that you planned on giving her some time to get over her grudge, you assumed that you would seldom hear her voice today. Almost hesitantly you responded, feeling almost as if you were on thin ice that was already starting to crack beneath your feet, despite talking to your former best friend -although you supposed your reluctance to answer could have stemmed from your crush as well, “I’m doing ok, a little sore to be honest. That battle took a lot outta me. What about you?” you shot the question back, slowly meeting your (E/C) eyes up to her almost sepia hues.

“I’m doing well, yeah.” she replied.

Then that awkward silence came back.

It wasn’t too long after the exchange that the cart came down for the both of you to enter, the process that didn’t seem to take too long before now seemingly longer as you both quietly waited to reach the top, ‘ _I have to say something, I can’t stand feeling awkward around her. It just doesn’t feel right. Maybe I should apologize? She did seem to expect me to side with her, so maybe she’s actually more upset that I betrayed her trust in a sense than the fact that Chica and Albert are now dead? No, she wouldn’t be like that… right? Well, it wouldn’t hurt to apologize regardless, I don’t think so anyways._ ’

You took in a small gulp of air before speaking to the section commander, finally working up the courage to use your mouth, “Hanji, I’m sorry I-” “(Y/N), I didn’t mean-”

For the second time in the past ten minutes you lifted your head up surprised, only this time Hanji’s expression matched yours almost flawlessly, meaning that she hadn’t expected you to apologize as much as you hadn’t her. You both sat in silence for a brief second, the both of you just looking at each other and not saying anything until Hanji let out a little chuckle. And you, never being mad at her or even expecting her to feel like she had to atone for anything, soon joined along with her in a giggle, “I’m going to be completely honest Hanji, I didn’t think you thought you had to apologize.”

She gave you a small smile, shaking her head a little as her voice sounded, “Same here, I mean, I was the one who got upset about you having a different perspective.”

At this you quirked a brow, “I thought you were mad about me agreeing to the death of them, not simply having a different view?” The confusion in your voice turned your statement into a question, although it still held the same meaning regardless. Hanji scratched the back of her neck while letting out a momentary nervous cough, “Well, yeah. I should have worded that better, I was upset at you because your different perspective included killing them.”

Deciding to just take her words for their value and not push her any further, you nodded your head in understanding, “Oh, yeah, I getcha.” you said before adding after a moment’s pause, “Can we both agree to not be mad at each other like that again? I absolutely hated how awkward it felt if I’m going to be honest.”

“I couldn’t agree with you anymore, (Y/N), that was absolutely awful.”

“So we’re back to the way we were before?” you asked as you finally reached the top of the Wall, letting Hanji get out of the cart first with you soon following behind her, “I think so…” Hanji trailed off. It was only when you started to look up at the sky and see that it was starting to turn from a baby blue to a more red hue that you heard the brunette speak up once again, “Well, since we’re back to how things used to be… Beat you to the titans!”

Then she took off, leaving a startled you to process her words for a second before realizing what she said and chasing after her, “Hanji! Wait up!”

**Saturday, May 12, 850 at 09:32**

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Sighing, you looked back at the pile of papers on your desk in satisfaction, rejoicing in the completed work that took you at least a good twelve hours in total to complete, ‘ _I didn’t realize how much more I still had to fill out from the experiments with Chica and Albert._ ’ Speaking of testing titans, Hanji was supposedly having a naming ceremony for a new pair she got today -one of the only bright sides to the Battle of Trost you supposed- and although you would have loved to be there to see them, the naming ceremony and measuring part of titan experimentation was your least favorite. And given that you had paperwork that you needed to finish, and just did finish, you had managed to talk your way out of bearing through the ceremony and other necessary parts for titan testing. ‘ _At least I don’t have to hear the story of Sawney and Bean for the millionth time._ ’

The quill that rested in your writing hand laid limp between your fingers, and you slowly stretched your back out before you placed it black where it belonged -right next to your ink that you always kept handy. Not too far away from them were pencils, and even though the opportunity presented itself to you to have a more convenient method of jotting your words down, you were feeling a tad bit fancy -or perhaps it was because for the past month you didn’t have the chance to write with anything else besides your lead pencil. You pushed your legs against your hardwood floor, effectively pushing your chair out and allowing for you to stand up from the seat. ‘ _I guess all there is left to do is bring these to Erwin the next time I see him,_ ’ you glanced outside and came to the conclusion that it was about midday, “I suppose I could at least go right now and try, I mean, it’s not _that_ late into the day.” you reasoned to yourself aloud.

You turned to the back of your chair, which held your Survey Corps jacket resting on the back rest of it. It was when you had finally grasped the leather in your hand that a knock sounded throughout the room, and you couldn’t help but raise a brow at the timing, “Come-”

Hanji let herself in as soon as she heard your voice, not even letting you finish as she bounded towards you and your desk, “We need to head over to Commander Browsy’s, ok? Erwin said something about ‘ _discussing urgent subjects_ ’” she mimicked in one of her impressions of the blonde man. Slinging your jacket upon your shoulders, you slipped your arms into the cool, smooth sleeves with a giggle, “Commander Browsy? That’s a new one.”

The woman who had just entered your room was already heading for the exit, waving her arm in an usher for you to follow on her way over, “C’mon! We’ve no time to lose!” she said as she stuck a pose with a pointed finger in the air. You only rolled your eyes as you pushed your chair in, a soft and dull dink noise being produced when the two wooden pieces of furniture came into contact. Halting for a second, you quickly pondered if you should bring your paperwork over, ‘ _Hmm, nah. Hanji said it was urgent, and worst comes to worst I could always just bring it over later._ ’

Jogging around your desk to catch up to the dark brown haired girl, you closed the door behind the both of you softly and twisting the handle afterwards to make sure that it was indeed locked. Your eyes momentarily skimmed over the plaque on your door that read _(Y/N) (L/N), Captain_ like they always tended to do, before the two of you started your short journey over to the commander’s room.

“What do they look like?” you asked, morbidly curious as to what the two new titans you would be testing on for who knows how long looked like. The section commander immediately caught onto what you were talking about, and she brought her eyes up to yours with a wide, ecstatic smile dancing on her lips, “Oh, I was hoping you would ask! One’s a four meter titan with blonde hair and blue eyes -the left one is a tiny bit bigger than the right- and the other one is a seven meter titan with brown hair and brown eyes. Now that I kinda think about it, Bean’s kinda a bigger version of Chicacchironi, although his hair was shorter than his is… Maybe they’re not that alike after all…” she trailed off as she started to get lost in her thoughts. You couldn’t help but look at the girl with a dorky grin as she mentally compared Chicacchironi and… ‘ _Wait, Bean? Did she name one of the titans Bean?_ ’

Before you could ask Hanji who Bean was however, Erwin’s door was in the both of your sights, ‘ _I’ll just ask her later, probably when I finally see them, but who knows._ ’

“Hey, do you know if anyone else is going to be in there?” you queried.

“Hm, I think so. Probably Nic, Miche and Levi if I had to guess. If it’s as important as Erwin’s making it, then it would seem likely anyways.” the girl reasoned, trying her best to answer your question as she put her hand on the door knob to Erwin’s office, “Guess there’s only one way to find out.” She then opened the door and made a gesture with her hand signalling for you to enter, and you complied, albeit while rolling your eyes at her.

“Ah, I see you guys have finally made it.” came the strict and formal voice of the commander, “Just in time.” The man was sitting behind his desk, busying himself away with things that you would probably never learn of. Out of all the people you had loosened up around during your time as captain, you had never gotten that comfortable around the commander, ‘ _I’m not quite sure why either, it’s not like the others wouldn’t get me in trouble. All they would need to do is put in a bad word for me that was serious enough and I wouldn’t be surprised if I lost my privilege of captain._ ’

Hearing a click behind you, you could only assume that Hanji shut the door behind her, pairs of a silvery grey, a soft gold, and a deep copper meeting your (E/C) orbs momentarily. Levi was sitting on the couch present in Erwin’s room, legs crossed in his usual fashion with his arms up on the couch’s backrest. Section Commander Nic was leaning against the left wall from the far side of you, arms crossed and a look of ponder upon his face. And lastly, Section Commander Miche was standing not too far from your left, not sitting or leaning against a wall, but rather with his arms behind his back and clasped together, waiting for Erwin to speak about why he had called such a meeting. Taking a few more steps into the room, you left a good meter and a half’s distance between you and Miche, soon feeling Hanji come up on your right side as the commander soon spoke up once again, “I believe that all of you are aware of the anomaly that is Eren Jaeger, yes?”

A round of nods went across the room, no one choosing to speak as everyone waited for what he was about to say, “Well, as you can imagine, some people have concerns whether or not he is more of a threat to humanity than a blessing. Eren is going to have to have a trial soon concerning these worries.” His cerulean eyes looked up from his paperwork, glancing at everyone in the room, starting at his left and ending at his right. Then he stood up.

“Last night Levi and I went down to the cells, where he has been kept for almost a full day. We spoke to him and came to the conclusion that he is an asset that can be controlled, as long as Levi is present.” Erwin said with a nod of his head towards the shorter male, “So in his court trial, the Survey Corps are going to Zachery asking for his possession, so that we may use him in any way we see beneficial for humanity.” ‘ _Ah, Zachery. I’ve only heard stories about him, but never actually seen him. I wonder if he looks as serious as he is told to be, I can’t imagine that a man with such an important job wouldn’t be strict. He might even beat Erwin._ ’ you thought as you shifted your weight, now holding your hands out in front of you and twiddling your thumbs a little anxiously as you listened to what he had to say next, “If he doesn’t see things our way, then Eren will most likely be killed out of fear by the Military Police.”

You felt your blood run cold, the thought of a mere teenager being killed out of fear not sitting right with you, and the feeling only steeled over with nerves when it hit you that if the Survey Corps don’t win this, it would forever alter the fate of humanity. And possibly for the worst. ‘ _I can only hope he will see that we need this Eren kid, and not that he is a threat to everyone. He clearly means well, I mean, he plugged the hole in Trost!_ ’

“To ensure that Zachery will side with us, we will have to prove that we can control Eren if he were to get out of hand. This is where Levi comes in, he will enter the courtroom and kick Eren around, weakening him and overall proving that he is strong enough to apprehend him, if the title of Humanity's Strongest Soldier isn’t enough.”

There was a small, “Tch.” from Levi, then only silence that rang loudly throughout the room, not even the occasional footstep of a soldier outside of Erwin’s room could be heard as the grave reality slapped everyone in the face -except for maybe the corporal, who you assumed had already known about the plan given that he had stopped by Eren’s cell with the commander. “When is his trial?” you heard a voice speak up beside you. You partially turned your head so you could see Hanji out of the corner of your eye, then turning them back to the commander when he spoke up again, but not before his eyes flashed to the clock that hung in his room for a brief second, “In two hours.”

This startled you.

‘ _Two hours? Isn’t that cutting it a little too close?! We’re in Wall Rose right now, and Eren should be near the center of Wall Sina!!_ ’ you thought with partial panic and creased brows, clearly not liking the idea of the trial being held so soon. The blonde spoke up again, “They wanted to get his trial out of the way as soon as possible, to prevent any civil conflict within the Walls.” Hanji nodded her head, “Will I get the chance to see him before his trial?”

The way she asked it made it seem like she was concerned for the boy, and although you were sure that she didn’t like the idea of having a kid killed, you were sure that the fact that she hadn’t been able to ask him any questions yet regarding his shifting also played a big part on her mind.

“Yes actually, I was going to ask if you would like to bring him from the jail cells to where the trial will take place, seeing as I’m sure you’re curious.”

Once again she nodded, already starting to space out in thought as she pondered what questions she was going to ask him, “(Y/N), please accompany Hanji to make sure that Eren isn’t late to his own… Actually on second thought you might not be of much help in that case. Miche, accompany the both of them to make sure Eren isn’t late to his trial.”

‘ _I suppose I can’t really blame him for not thinking I would be able to keep everything timed right, I am rather curious after all. But that doesn’t mean I’m not paranoid about missing a deadline as important as this one!_ ’ Miche, being the man of a few words that he was, only gave a nod to the commander like Hanji had, although he immediately turned to the door and started to head out, holding it open for Hanji and you once you had managed to start to pull the girl out the door.

\----------------------------------------------------------

“So who is Bean?” you asked as the three of you entered the basement stairs of the building that served as a town hall of sorts, being where trials and captives of the military -as well as other political enemies- were kept. Hanji was to your right, and Miche was to her right, being in the middle, “Hm? Oh, yeah! Bean’s the brown haired titan I named. The shorter, blonde one is Sawney!”

You quirked a brow, “You named them both after the man of the story?”

“Yep!”

“But why?”

“I have an intuition that these two are special, like they’re going to open up doors of knowledge to humanity that could maybe free us all. That like Sawney Bean, they’re going to be pioneers of some sort.”

“Huh…” you uttered, not really sure what else to say in response. Luckily for you, you didn’t have to as Hanji gasped before taking off in a sprint, “Hey! Wait up!” She didn’t listen to your wishes as she reached a door that lined the long hallway you _were_ walking along, now running to catch up to the girl -and in the distance you could hear Miche snort as he watched the scene unfold.

Hanji skidded to a stop in front of the door that you all were heading to, you soon after reaching her and slowing down yourself, “This is it…” she breathed, although not as if out of breath, ‘ _Seriously, does this woman ever get tired?!_ ’ She tried to see through the barred hole in the wooden door to try and catch a glimpse of the whole reason she was here, but to no avail. Watching as her face momentarily held a frown at her lack of results, you noticed how curiosity soon fired up in her oaken eyes, setting a passion for finding out more about the titans ablaze as she then opened the door. She took her steps in with stride, boots audibly clicking on the stone ground as you walked in with a still noticeable, yet quieter, pair of your own. Then you saw her freeze, before jolting herself forwards to the bars that were in your view, eyes open wide and intently staring at whoever was inside, ‘ _Poor guy, he must be scared to-_ ’

Your thoughts were cut off as you heard a sharp intake of air, as well as some quick rustling of chains and sheets that signified the person inside had suddenly jerked at the unwarranted sound and appearance, ‘ _...death. Well, he most certainly was, perhaps still is, that’s for sure._ ’

You almost completely walked past a guard that was leaning against one of the walls in the room -there was another one on the other side of the cell’s bars, making two guards in total- until he stopped you, silently handing you a pair of cuffs -that covered the entire hand, you guessed so then Eren couldn’t bite his hand during the trial and transform- that you could only assume were for the person you came in here for, ‘ _That’s right, no one here trusts him. I suppose I shouldn’t either, I don’t know what he’s like as a person._ ’ Clutching the restraints in your hands, you put them in your back pocket and listened as Hanji spoke up with a more softened face, most certainly one that didn’t look as crazed as her previous one, “So you’re Eren, huh?”

As you leaned against the wall directly behind Hanji, you could finally see the boy -‘ _Eren Jaeger._ ’ you recalled- who adorned a simple white shirt and tan pants. His turquoise eyes were widened in a slight fear, and his hair was disheveled, indicating that the teen had not been able to do much besides lay down in his bed and wait for time to pass by as the world worked on. You looked in pity at the metal muffs he had on each of his hands, being partly restrained by metal chains that connected to each one via the ceiling, “Are you ok? Anything new?” the brunette you had entered in with asked, tilting her head the smallest bit as she seemed to take in everything she could about him that might indicate he could turn into a titan. Miche entered behind you, soon leaning against the same wall beside you as Hanji took a step back, “Sorry to keep you waiting, but it seems like you’re finally getting out of here.”

Hanji turned her head and looked at you for a second, and just as soon as you felt your cheeks heaten a little in surprise -and maybe, just maybe because of the, unnecessary yet appreciated, attention you were getting from your crush- she turned her attention back to Eren, “But you’ll have to wear cuffs.”

You weren’t sure if she knew you had a pair on your from the one guard outside his cell, but nonetheless you took a few steps forwards and took the cuffs out of your back pocket, extending your arm into the bar, so then he could put them on. You have him a look of pity, yet still donned a reassuring and comforting smile to the male who might not have known of the exact situation he was in just yet, “Please do hurry, we don’t have much time.”

\----------------------------------------------------------

“I’m Hanji Zoë, a section commander for the Survey Corps.” the brunette to your right said with a bright, toothy smile, missing the way that the action made you grin yourself at her cheerfulness. The four of you -plus the two guards behind you who were in Eren’s cell room as well- were heading to the trial room, in the final hallway before you would reach the door to the room that would either lead to the death or the definitive survival of the boy to your left, “And I’m (Y/N) (L/N), a captain for the Survey Corps. The man to your left Eren is Miche, he’s a section commander like Hanji.” you informed the teen with an outwards gesture towards said section commander. When you looked at Eren however, you had to hold back a snicker at the way he flinched away from Miche, who was currently leaning next to his face and sniffing him, “Um…”

“He has the habit of smelling people he’s just met,’ Hanji added when she saw the scene unfold, a slight upturn of her lips at what she was seeing. When Miche stood back to his normal height with a confident and content grin, Hanji added on, “...and then smirking. I don’t think it has any real significance.” The woman gave a shrug, then looked to you as if to confirm her next words. You only gave a shrug in return, not actually sure if there was a purpose behind what he did or not, “After all, he’s good enough that they gave him a squad.”

She stopped her speech for a moment, looking ahead with slightly widened eyes when she saw your final destination, “Oh, sorry! Too much chit-chat, I tend to do that from time to time.”

She stopped in front of the door, soon ushering Eren to walk forwards as the two guards who were once behind you walked forwards to his sides to lead him into the room, “We’re already here, but don’t worry. It’s actually better to not get any explanation in advance.” You couldn’t help but agree with her words, ‘ _If I were going to die, I would like to spend as much time as possible not knowing about it, unless it was preventable of course, but then I suppose I wouldn’t be dying then. I guess my original statement still stands._ ’

“Wait!” Eren cried out in a sudden panic while looking back at Hanji while being forced forwards now by the guards, quite contrasting to his original, and much more calmed, expression he had etched on his face beforehand. From Hanji’s left you couldn’t see what kind of expression she casted out, but if you had to guess, a slightly intimidating glare shot out to the young teen as she spoke, “I know it’s selfish, but we have no choice but to blindly trust you.’ Then the aura around her considerably lightened as she added on a, “Good luck!” as the doors closed behind the male, who’s terrified eyes briefly connected with yours for a moment in a plea for help. It was at that moment you hoped more than ever the kid would live, if not for his sake then for yours, because you knew if he died here at the hands of the Military Police, that last look before his death would forever be carved into your head. And you already had enough of those.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything more as the situation once again hit you at face value, and it didn’t seem like Hanji or Miche had much more to say either, as the only words exchanged were, “Let’s head up and see what’s going on.” from Hanji as she then led you and Miche up a slight of stairs directly opposite to the door Eren had just entered. Every step seemed like you were getting closer and closer to some sort of punishment, like each one became more and more burdened as you felt your body try harder and harder to refuse to cooperate. But you pushed yourself on, “ _He’s not the first kid you’ll see die if he does, at least his death will be humane, to put it lightly. That’s right, I shouldn’t be focused on his welfare, but rather the welfare of Humanity! I would die for what’s best, hell, I almost have more times than I can count. If he’s a true soldier then he would too. I wouldn’t blame him for being scared though…_ ’

When you reached the door that would allow you to oversee what was happening in the courtroom, you heard someone scream out in pain, each time it sounded being followed by a slam. Quickly entering, you couldn’t help the way your eyes expressed worry for the mere kid, your conscious playing too much of a part in the way you onlooked in concern. “He’ll be ok, (Y/N).” Hanji whispered, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder as she soon stood by your side. You resisted the urge to lean into her touch for comfort as you gave a weary smile, “I just care too much I suppose. It’s silly really.”

You grimaced as you heard something bounce on the ground, guessing that the sound wouldn’t indicate anything good. Looking down only told you that it was a tooth of his, which did not help you in feeling better for Eren at all, ‘ _The Walls, I thought Erwin said that Levi would only bang him up a little! Not completely tear him apart like that! I mean, I know that the further he goes, the better it will prove that Levi could take care of Eren should he turn malicious, but I still think that’s too far. Hasn’t the boy been through enough?_ ’

When you finally tuned back into reality, Levi had stopped and Erwin was now speaking, “I, 13th commander of the Survey Corps, Erwin Smith, will present my proposal. We would welcome Eren as an official member of our forces, and use his power to retake Wall Maria.”

There was a brief second where everyone waited for him to continue, but he didn’t say much more, “That is all.”

“That’s all?” Zachery inquired with a raised brow.

“Yes, sir. With his power, we can retake Wall Maria. We believe it is clear what our priorities should be.”

“I see. And where do you plan to begin with this mission?”

“Pixis,” Erwin said as he addressed the commander of the Garrison, “The Trost wall has been completely resealed, correct?”

“Yes, it can never be opened again.”

Erwin then focused his attention back to Zachery, “We would like to set out from Karanes, in the east. From there, we will proceed to Shiganshina. We will determine the route as we go.”

“Wait a minute!” an official Military Police soldier cried out, “Shouldn’t we seal all the wall gates once and for all? The Colossal Titan can only destroy the gates. If we can strengthen them, we won’t need to endure further attacks!”

A whole bunch of talk erupted at that, the two sides of the matter clearly clashing as everyone seemed to speak their agreement or opposition to the idea. Even the priest of the Walls spoke up, claiming that no one has the right to alter the Walls as they were a gift from God, something that the humans shouldn’t even fathom about changing. It took the banging of Zachery’s gavel on his desk to ensure the stillness of the room once more, “Silence! You may discuss your personal philosophies and opinions elsewhere.” Zachery said to the crowd before looking down at Eren from his higher position, “Jaeger, I wish to confirm something. Can you continue to serve as a soldier using your titan powers to benefit humanity?”

Eren shot his head up at the man, a determined face staring back up at the judge, “Yes, I can!”

Erwin raised his hand one more time, looking as calm as ever and as if everything was falling right into his hands, “Sir, I have a proposal.”

Zachery once more addressed the commander of the Survey Corps, “What is it?”

“The details of Eren’s titan power remain uncertain, making it dangerous. Thus, I propose to have Corporal Levi take responsibility for Eren’s control, and embark on an expedition outside the Walls.”

“With Eren in tow?”

“Yes, sir. Based on the expedition’s results, I’d like you to judge whether Eren can control his titan power and whether he is a threat or a key to Humanity's survival.”

“Control Eren Jaeger…” Zachery trailed off in thought, speaking up after a second, “Can you do it, Levi?”

“I’m certain that I can kill him. The only problem is I doubt I can do any less.”

“Then my decision is made,” he said while looking down at his desk, soon bringing up his gaze to the people in his courtroom as he spoke aloud, “The Survey Corps gains control of Eren Jaeger, until after the next expedition, where we will redress the situation based on its results.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated three-ish hours before 21 October, 2020!
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to the old man who said good evening to me while on a walk. No, I don't know him, and probably never will, but this one's for you old man ✌️✌️✌️✌️
> 
> Lmao
> 
> Also yeah, this chapters mainly the obligatory trial scene, I tried shortening it as you all can probably tell but this chapter still went over 5,000 words oof lmao 💀


	23. 23║Beginning of a New Curiosity

**Saturday, May 12, 850 at 12:24**

\----------------------------------------------------------

Lightly dabbing the alcohol-soaked cotton ball to Eren’s cheek via forceps, you quietly muttered an apology when you saw him cringe a little at the sting. Eren slightly shifted the mostly white -there were a few splotches of red which served as a good reminder to the beating he had received not too long ago- cloth on his cheek, giving a small shake of his head as if to say that you didn’t need to apologize. A gentle hand was placed on your shoulder, and you looked up to see Hanji. Standing up to discard the partially bloodied cotton ball, your boots clicked on the wooden floor as Hanji spoke up, “That was really terrible back there, it hurts, right?”

“A little.” the teen admitted, eyes staring out a little as he momentarily relived the trial. You reached the one trashcan in the room -right next to the front door- and plopped the dirty ball of cotton into the bin, stuffing the pair of forceps into your back pocket before quickly scanning your eyes across the room. The man who had beaten Eren up, Levi, leaned against the wall across from his victim, eyes as bored as ever as he watched Hanji ask the boy a question with disinterest, “How does it hurt?” You started walking to the titan-crazed section commander -seeing Erwin doing the same as well-, eyes flickering to Miche who was staring out a nearby window with his back turned to the rest of the room for a brief second before turning your attention back to the shifter. Eren was sitting on a small couch, Hanji and Erwin before him as you came to his left. He kneeled down, soon after speaking to the young brunette, “I’m sorry. But thanks to that, the Survey Corps won custody over you.”

Eren nodded his head, removing the cloth from his cheek as he simply chose to hold it in his left hand, “I understand, sir.”

The blonde looked directly at the soldier as he voiced his next words, “The pain you endured allowed me to play my cards at the right moment. You have my utmost respect.” Then with a slight pause, the man gave a small smile that you deemed out of character for his usually very strict persona, “Eren I look forward to working with you.” When the commander held his hand out, the teal eyes of Eren widened, jaw slightly going slack for a brief moment as he soon rushed his unfettered hand to meet Erwin’s, “Thank you! I look forward to it too, sir!”

You had been so focused on the conversation at hand that you hadn’t noticed Levi walk over to the scene close enough for him to plop himself next to Eren, sprawling his arms against the backrest and crossing his legs as he emotionlessly bore his stormy hues into Eren’s, “Hey, Eren…” As soon as the ravenette had sat beside the teen, Eren had jumped back, obviously not being able to help the way his body reacted poorly around the corporal who currently scared him to death, “Yes, sir?”

“Do you resent me?”

“N-No…, I understand why it was necessary.

Levi looked away from him and looked to the general direction where he had been standing before, “That’s good.”

“But you took it a little far, he lost a tooth.” your eyes flashed over to the girl, who was currently unraveling cut material to reveal a slightly bloody tooth, “See?”

The corporal’s eyes scrunched up a little as a look of disgust washed over his face, “Don’t pick that up, it’s creepy.”

Walking over to the woman, you peaked your head over her shoulder to take a look, only finally being able to fully see it when Hanji noticed your attempt and turned her body so you could properly see it. At the shorter man’s statement Hanji rolled her eyes, “Even _this_ is an important sample.”

Levi only retorted back, “Eren, it’s better than getting dissected by people like them, right?”

This time you jumped into the conversation, giving him a look that, if translated into words, would probably be read as ‘ _really?_ ’, “Hey, we’re not like that.” Hanji’s burgundy hair swished around her face slightly as she agreed, “Yeah, we’d never kill him, he’s way too valuable a specimen.”

‘ _Well, I don’t know if that’s why we wouldn’t kill him, but that’s not to say that he’s not important to Humanity, that’s for sure._ ’ If Levi was going to give a response, he didn’t get the chance to as Hanji soom kneeled in front of Eren, you shifting your weight as you watched with curiosity as to what she was doing, “Hey Eren, let me see inside of your mouth.” He showed slight hesitation, as his mouth stayed closed for a few good seconds before he finally relented and opened his mouth, leaning forwards towards Hanji so the girl could get the look she wanted. You heard her give a small gasp, “His tooth…” she trailed off.

Not being able to help yourself, you soon moved next to the oaken haired girl as you kneeled down to take a look as well, “It’s already grown back.” You didn’t find anything to prove her words false, and even though you had no clue where the tooth that was held in Hanji’s hand was supposed to go in Eren’s mouth, you _did_ know what a full set of teeth looked like. “There’s not even a trace left behind, no blood, inflammation… Eren, does it even hurt any more?”

His mouth shifted a little, closing it slightly as he pondered over it. When he finally came to an answer he looked at you, his face still turned upwards due to his open mouth -which also caused his next words to be a small bit mispronounced, “No, not that much anymore.” Your brows shot up, immediately making the connection to the fact that just like titans, his wounds and ailments seemed to have healed quickly. You nearly fell down when his wounds on his face started steaming, Hanji reacting by quickly grabbing his face and angling it so she could take a good look at what you had disinfected earlier, “Eren! What does that feel like?!” she shouted in question as the male widened his eyes and flinched under her grasp. He looked lost, not fully knowing how to answer the question as he subtly tried to pull his head out of the woman’s grasp -unfortunately for him, his attempts were futile as she only strengthened her grip- before giving up and doing his best to answer accurately, “It feels numb, almost like it’s asleep…”

Before either Hanji or you could say anything more, small strands of various colours pulled together his wound, causing the steam to stop altogether and for him to answer your question once more, “No wait, it doesn’t feel numb anymore.”

You honestly had no clue what to say, ‘ _His wound healed the same exact way titan’s do. First is the laceration, then comes the steam, then bam, it’s gone without a trace left behind._ ’ you shifted your body to change your angle on his face, noting that there was no scar left behind, ‘ _Exactly like a titan’s. This makes me wonder, does his healing times vary as well? I know his entire limbs can heal, it said so in that one report I had to read about him. His one arm was cut off and so was his leg. Did those leave scars?_ ’

Your eyes shifted over to Eren’s left arm, specifically around the crook of his elbow where you knew the appendage had been bitten off, “Could you roll your left sleeve up, Eren?”

The boy was inquisitive as to why you wanted him to do such a thing, but he complied regardless, rolling it up as far as it would go on his upper arm without a single opposition. And once again, just like a titan, there was no scar to be seen. “There’s no scar…” Hanji muttered as she seemed to catch onto what you were looking at, sitting on her legs as she stared at his arm -having let go of the boy’s face before you had even asked him to roll up his sleeve. “Exactly, do you think he has different healing times as well, like there was with Leslie?” you brought up your previous thought, “Hm…, if I had to guess, I’d say yes. All the other signs are pointing towards it, regrowing limbs, steaming wounds… Say, Eren, you’re able to stay up late at night, aren’t you?”

“H-Huh?” he stammered, thrown off by the question.

“Can you stay up at night?” she reiterated.

Eren was never given the chance to properly answer however as Levi soon jumped in, growing bored of both of your interrogations and deciding to leave the room as he stood up, “This isn’t question hour, you too.” he spoke, “Eren, come along. I need to start getting you ready for training.” The new member of the Special Operations Squad widened his eyes, a small spark of excitement and nervousness pooling in his orbs as he stood up to follow the man, albeit stiffly. Hanji tried to stop Levi from taking him away however, and you yourself couldn’t help but feel disappointment when you came to the conclusion that you wouldn’t get your questions and hypothesis answered, right away anyways, “Levi, Eren, wait, we need to-” the door partially slammed shut when Levi closed it behind Eren, his bored façade etching onto his face as he dragged Eren off to training -’ _And probably meet the rest of the Special Operations Squad too._ ’ you realized. “...know.” the girl finished late, getting her thought out but not giving it enough volume to meet the ears of those she spoke to.

“It’s ok Hanji,” you reassured with a smile to the brunette, “I’m sure we’ll see him soon enough to ask him questions.”

“Actually, you already have a set time to conduct experiments.” Erwin stated, reminding both you and the dark haired girl of his presence in the room, “Not tomorrow, but the day after it on the 14th.”

**Monday, May 14, 850 at 05:01**

\---------------------------------------------------------- **  
**

**_Knock knock._ **

You abruptly sat up in your bed, resisting the urge to scream at the loud sound that woke you up. Then, without giving an answer to the person who had loudly banged their fist onto your door, you heard the wooden barrier creak open, followed by rushed footsteps towards your bedroom door. Said door flew open, revealing the darkened silhouette of Hanji in your doorway as she soon walked forwards to your bed,”(Y/N)! C’mon, today’s the day we get to go and see Eren!”

‘ _Oh yeah, that’s right, I had completely forgotten about that._ ’ You forced yourself to sit up from the soft cushioning that made up your bed, trying to brush out your hair slightly when you remembered that it was _Hanji_ who was currently seeing your bed-head state, ‘ _Ah, great, just great._ ’

“Could we make a quick stop at Erwin’s room first? I need to drop off the paperwork on Chicacchironi and Albert, and we still haven’t told him the reason for their uh, their deaths.” you brought up slightly awkwardly, although it soon vanished when she seemed to agree with you without a hitch, “Of course, so hurry up and get dressed. The sooner we do it, the sooner we can leave after all.”

As soon as the door had shut behind the chocolate haired section commander, you immediately started getting to work -and while in the process of dressing yourself, you mentally noted that you could faintly see the sun starting to rise in the background out your window, indicating to you that the brunette had knocked on your door fairly early into the day. Once you had finished and you had on your harness and uniform -save for your 3DM gear- you left your bedroom to see Hanji with a stack of papers in her hand, “Well geez, someone’s messy.” she teased with a contagious grin. She held the piled documents out to you with both hands, seeing as it was a large amount of them that she was holding, and she looked at you with her happy and seemingly carefree sepia hues that were framed oh so perfectly by her eyelashes. Her hair was a little neater than usual, indicating to you that she had somewhat recently readjusted her hair into it’s usual ponytail, and her shirt was without stains as well, ‘ _Not that it usually gets too dirty, it’s just that it seems especially spotless compared to what she’s usually seen wearing._ ’

“(Y/N)?” she asked, quirking a brow at the way you had been acting, and if you looked close enough, you could’ve sworn that she had the faintest of blushes decorating her cheeks, ‘ _Eh, it’s probably my sleepy brain just seeing what it wants. That is a thing, right…? Probably._ ’

With a small blush of your own you shook your head, thinking of the first excuse that came to mind, “Gah, sorry about that. I tend to space out when I’m tired, y‘know how it is, right?” She nodded her head sympathetically, letting go of the papers once they were firmly grasped in your palms with a light chuckle that made your heart flutter, “Yup! Now c’mon, if you take any longer I’d be forced to think that you’re stalling.” Sticking your tongue out at her, you turned your back to her and headed for the door that led to the hallway, missing the way that a hint of a frown of disappointment fell upon the girl’s lips at your previous excuse.

It didn’t take long for the both of you to reach the commander’s door -which you thought you had been visiting a lot lately, but you supposed that it could just be that you were still readjusting to living back in HQ- and placing a knock on the door, you shared a look with Hanji’s muddy eyes when you didn’t receive a response at first. It was soon broken however when he finally answered, “Come in.” Grabbing the handle with the hand that wasn’t holding papers, you held the door open for the girl like she had done for you countless times. When you both entered, you stopped before the dirty blonde who was scribbling away on some paperwork, ‘ _I guess that was the reason he took a little longer than usual to reply._ ’

“Yes?” he asked once he finally put down his lead pencil, folding his hands together and sitting back further in his chair as he addressed the two of you. Seeing as she was the one of higher power, Hanji spoke up first, “(Y/N) has paperwork for you.”

“Very well.” he said as he gestured to his desk, clearing a space for you to put the papers as you took a step forward, soon after placing them gently onto the wooden surface. His eyebrow slightly rose, “Is that all?”

“No, sir.” you admitted, “We’re also aware that you wanted to know why Chicacchironi and Albert are dead, right?”

He nodded his head, blue eyes lingering on yours before shifting to Hanji’s, clearly waiting for an explanation that Hanji soon gave, “During one of our experiments that we completed, we had the idea of testing to see if the titans were capable of learning, and well naturally, we tested it. It was decided that we would see if they were able to come up with a way to get out of the pit that they were in, if they had the ability to adapt in a sense. We recorded all they did, and eventually came to the conclusion that they weren’t able to learn on their own.” she said before trailing off onto a smaller thought for a second, “Although now that I think back on it, it shouldn’t have come as much of a surprise, given that the titans haven’t engineered a way to get up and over the Walls…”

Hanji started to stare off, and seeing that she was lost in thought, you picked up the rest of her thought for her, “To continue where she left off, sir, after we came to the conclusion that they weren’t going to be able to come up with a way to get out on their own, we decided to give them an example, to see if they would be able to learn off of that. We gathered big rocks together along one side of the pit, and pushed them in a fashion so that we could climb upwards and get higher, in hopes that Chicacchironi and Albert would come to the idea that they could do the same with the various boulders that laid inside the pit. At first, they hadn’t done anything different, but after a while, the shorter one Chicacchironi had put it together that he should try and move one of the boulders inside the pit to the edge of the wall, so that he could get up higher. The only problem was that he was too small to actually move it, so in the end he was left just pushing against this rock until Albert finally either picked up on the idea by himself, or he saw what Chicacchironi was doing and then came to the same conclusion.” Letting out a sigh and taking a deep breath to continue your spiel, you held your hands together in front of you, “Eventually Albert was able to get a boulder to the edge of the pit, and soon enough one boulder became two, then three and four, until he had stacked just about all of the ones available in a way that he could get as close as possible to the top. Granted at the time he wasn’t able to reach the top, but he soon surprised all of us when he started to dig his hands into the dirt wall and climb. And given that titans are light in weight, this presented no problem to him as he soon made it to the top so that nothing below his eyes could peak over. Then to add onto that, Chicacchironi had started to climb the pit’s wall just like Albert had started to do at the top, meaning that titans can definitely learn from each other. In the end, we killed them because they posed a threat of now getting out, and not wanting to risk them possibly thinking of new things, or learning something else that could possibly make titans a bigger, more intelligent threat to humanity, it was decided best to put them down.”

You let out a small huff as you finished, tongue feeling slightly numb at all the talking you had just done, “I see.” Erwin said, his eyes that resembled a blue, clear sky staring down at his desk in thought, “Why didn’t you think of restraining them?”

‘ _Why didn’t we think of restraining them? That would have saved us the risk of losing testing titans…_ ’

“I had thought of that, Erwin,” Hanji started when she saw you had no answer, looking at the man rather formally as she gave her reasons, “But given that we didn’t have the proper resources with us nor enough men to successfully contain two titans, it was deemed best to put them down. Not only that, but it would’ve been nearly impossible to transport them back to HQ from all the way down there, it was difficult to get them down there in the first place.” Her hands gestered about her as she spoke, and when she had finished they found a place to rest on both of her hips before leaning towards you a little -something you were hyper-aware of.

The man nodded his head, now seeing the reasoning behind the final decision, ‘ _I hadn’t realized that before, but I do suppose she has a point. After all, the Survey Corps doesn’t have enough soldiers to simply have an ample amount just standing around the pit all day to keep them contained if they were left untied, and if they were tied, we wouldn’t have been able to stay there forever, and we wouldn't be able to bring them back easily, if it’s even possible._ ’

Erwin soon pulled you out of your thoughts, his voice sounding and echoing out into the quiet room that was starting to be more and more lit up by the rising sun as more and more time passed, “I understand. I know that the both of you were able to obtain a lot of information during your time away,” he said as he glanced his eyes briefly to the stack of papers on his desk, eyeing it’s height, “However, I don’t think you’ll be able to conduct such experiments anytime soon, if ever again.”

Your brows knit together at this, almost asking for his reasoning when Hanji beat you to it, “But why?”

“The public’s opinion on the Survey Corps is already rocky enough, and with Eren Jaeger in our custody, I can’t imagine that it’s gotten any better. With this in mind, it is already risky to keep titans for testing like we are right now while they’re tied up, and if word were to get out that we had titans free within the Walls, it would only further shatter what little respect held for us.” Nodding your head a little, you had to admit that you saw his reasoning. You had been lucky enough to even be able to conduct any free tests, so the fact that you could at least continue to test on titans in any way was a silver lining to the storm cloud of things that would be preferable.

“I see,” Hanji stated, slightly frowning in discontent but seeing that if the Survey Corps didn’t keep a good reputation, they ran the risk of losing the branch of the military altogether.

“Is that all?” he asked again for the second time that day, although this one was said in a way that showed he did not expect the continuation of the conversation for much longer, “No, sir.” you said, slightly bowing and nodding your head to the older man out of respect, “That’s all we have to tell you.”

“Then you both are dismissed, have a good day.”

“You as well, Erwin.” “You too, sir.”

Without so much as a further word -given as there was simply nothing more to say- you turned on your heel with the maroon haired girl at your side, this time Hanji opening the door for you as she allowed you to exit the room first. As soon as the door was closed, you turned to the female and asked, “Where to now?”

“I have to go get Moblit, you’re welcome to tag along if you’d like.” she offered with a small shrug and pull of her lips, “Wait, you didn’t get him first?” you queried, genuinely surprised that she didn’t make sure to have her ‘assistant’ with her or -as you had previously thought he was- doing something that she needed to get done.

“Nope!” she said with a popper ‘p’, “I figured that I would let him sleep in for once, y’know?”

“Eh, that seems fair.” you agreed, not denying that the caramel headed male did a lot of work for the section commander, ‘ _I suppose that means that she’s not bringing the rest of her squad then, and that it’s just Hanji, Moblit and I going over for the day. At least I’ll be able to see my old squad again, that’ll be fun! Who would have thought that I’d be able to see them again after so soon? And especially in a much better context..._ ’

You gave your head a light shake to focus yourself, eyes drifting to the section commander at your side as the words that started to tumble out of your mouth stringed themselves into a coherent question and weaved themselves into the comfortable and calm atmosphere created between you and said woman, “So the plan is, find him and then go over to Levi?”

She nodded her head, studying the walls of the hallway as the both of you were slowly getting closer and closer to Moblit’s room, “We’re going over there today to hopefully get there in time to do some proper testing. I can’t imagine that we wouldn’t make it there before daylight runs out though.”

“And we’re only staying for the one day?”

“That’s the plan, but worst comes to worst we’ll stay for one night. If you can even call it ‘worst’. Either way, you don’t have to pack anything if that’s what you’re trying to hint at.” she teased with a knowing smile, sending you a playful wink that you barked out a laugh at, “So no need for books, notes, or anything like that?”

“Nah, just you, your journal and gear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated a small bit before 28 October, 2020!
> 
> ((I've been busy with school, so I just wanted to apologize with any late responses to comments and the like ^^))


	24. 24║Titan-Shifting Attempts

**Monday, May 14, 850 at 08:13**

\---------------------------------------------------------- **  
**

  


  


“I came up with a way that would only half-kill you.”

‘ _Half-kill? How’s Levi gonna manage that?_ ’ you questioned yourself with an impassive face, right side leaning on the podium that the section commander you came here with -Hanji- sat on top of.

Moblit had come along too, although he had offered to sit down at one of the empty desks in the old classroom you all were in and copy Hanji’s notes on Sawney and Bean’s measurements -who you still had yet to meet- into your journal from the other day, promising to give you and Hanji your journals back once he was done. You were sure he was glad to get a momentary break, and you were just glad that you didn’t have to copy down everything, ‘ _It took me forever to write them down for Sawney and Bean, it felt like my hand was cramping for days._ ’ Gunther was just a few feet to your immediate left, then came Eld at his left, then Oluo, and then Petra as they all paid close attention to the corporal who was currently giving out new information they had yet to soak in. Eren was the only one besides you, Levi, Moblit and Hanji who wasn’t standing back in their -most likely subconsciously- formed line. “Sir?” Eren asked.

“I said that I’d only be able to stop you as a titan if I killed you, but this method would only leave you badly injured. Of course, it relies on the squad’s skill.” Levi spoke in his usual monotone way, moving his hand -that held a piece of chalk in it- to the chalkboard at his side and soon drawing markings on the slate to illustrate a proper diagram on what he was talking about, “The idea is to cut you right out of the titan’s nape. We’d end up cutting the ends of your arms and legs off, but they’d just grow back like a lizard’s.” He drew the basic form of the human body, making a circle around the figure’s limbs that indicated what part would most likely be amputated, then adding an afterthought once a few seconds had passed, “Creepy, really.”

The alarm in Eren’s eyes was immediately recognized by you, and while you still felt a small amount of pity for the teen, you knew that at least he -probably- wouldn’t end up dead. ‘ _This is bigger than some teenager after all, I need to remember that._ ’ you told yourself, “Wait.” said boy started with slightly widened eyes, turning his full attention to Levi as he spoke, “I don’t know how they grow back, is there some other way…” he trailed off, hinting that he would prefer not having the chance of losing mobility.

Levi needed little time to understand what Eren was hinting at, soon glaring his now judgemental and piercing eyes at the shifter, “So you’re saying that you don’t want there to be any danger or sacrifice?”

“N-No…” Eren meekly said with a stutter, only realizing now how selfish his words seemed, especially when he was saying them in front of the people who would be risking their lives trying to make sure that Eren could be taken out of his nape instead of killed on the spot. To be completely honest, you weren’t sure if you’d be among those people, given that you were only truly a part of the Special Operations Squad when on expeditions, ‘ _Although now that I think about it, I suppose it also includes any breaches inside the Walls, I_ was _assigned by Erwin to help them during Trost after all. Or perhaps it’s just a matter of titan fighting that means I’ll have to work with them…?_ ’

“Then resolve yourself,” Levi bluntly spoke, eyes indifferent to the situation at hand, “We will, too. The danger for us is that you might kill us, so don’t worry.”

“Yes… Understood, sir.”

“Th-Then, I can do experiments today?” the girl to your right asked, hands folded in front of her face and a slight glare in her glasses that you could partially see from your angle behind her. You yourself couldn’t help but get a little enthused as well -even if you had a different way of showing it- bright eyes full of hope looking to the corporal as he gave his answer, “It’s very risky.” he admitted with a sigh, “But that doesn’t mean that we can’t use him to investigate. You have to keep him in a preferably controlled area, as said by Erwin, however.”

“We can be in charge of planning all testing though, right?” Hanji asked while referencing you, although she didn’t wait for an answer from the shorter man as she already knew that he would answer yes, “Eren,” she said, eyes locking onto his teal ones as she continued, “If there’s something you don’t understand, learn to understand it. It’s well worth the risk to our lives.”

‘ _As much as I hate the thought of any single person here dying, her words aren’t wrong. Anything learned from him could be the key to ending the titans’ reign of terror on humanity._ ’ Eren let out a gulp, and while it wasn’t audible, it sure was visible as a small drop of sweat formed on his brow, “Yes, section commander.”

“Well, then!” said woman started as the excitement started to catch up with her, jumping herself off of the podium as you yourself now started to stand up straight, “There’s no point in sitting in here, we might as well get right to business.” Her eyes started on Levi, and once he gave the go ahead for his squad she turned herself to you, “What do you think about that one well we saw on our way over (Y/N)?” Recalling what she was talking about, your smile widened when you realized it was perfect, “I think it’ll do a great job!”

“What _well_ are you two talking about?” Levi asked as he followed behind the two of you heading to the door. You opened it and walked forwards, handing the door to Hanji as she responded to the ravenette who joined her on her free side once outside, “On our way over (Y/N), Moblit and I saw this abandoned cottage with a dried well outside of it. It’s the perfect size, and would be able to contain him without any problems should he get out of control.”

The man she mentioned just caught up to you and her, reaching in front of you to hand the section commander her journal, and then you yours as he joined you at your side, “Thanks Moblit.” The section commander said.

“Yeah, I especially need to thank you Moblit. Tell me, how sore are your hands, and how in the world did you manage to write it all so quickly?”

The man shook his head with a slight smile, “Don’t worry about it guys,” he said before turning to you specifically, “And (Y/N), let’s just say that Hanji’s had me write things much longer in a shorter time.”

You looked at him incredulously -albeit with a tiny growing smile at the fact that he has once again dropped your title- pulling out your field journal to make sure that he did in fact finish writing everything, “There’s no way you were able to do more than what you did in a…” you trailed off as you finally flipped to where he had written down the information, seeing that it was in fact there in all its glory, each letter neatly and precisely written as if he had taken a good five minutes to carefully etch each one onto the paper, even though you knew it was impossible:

**_Sawney's Measurements:_ **

**Fingers**

Left Index Finger: 28.2 cm

Left Middle Finger: 29.5 cm

Left Ring Finger: 28.3 cm

Left Pinkie Finger: 18.8 cm

Left Thumb: 20.0 cm

Right Index Finger: 28.3 cm

Right Middle Finger: 29.6 cm

Right Ring Finger: 28.2 cm

Right Pinkie Finger: 20.0 cm

Right Thumb: 20.3 cm

**Arms**

Left Elbow to Wrist: 123.9 cm

Left Elbow to Socket: 129.7 cm

Left Full Arm: 259.5 cm

Right Elbow to Wrist: 124.0 cm

Right Elbow to Socket: 129.9 cm

Right Full Arm: 259.8 cm

**Legs**

Left Knee to Ankle: 118.0 cm

Left Knee to Socket: 159.2 cm

Left Full Leg: 283.1 cm

Right Knee to Ankle: 117.8 cm

Right Knee to Socket: 159.4 cm

Right Full Leg: 283.1 cm

**Head**

Width: 65.5 cm

Length: 96.7 cm

**Eyes**

Left Eye Width: 8.7 cm

Left Eye Height: 6.0 cm

Right Eye Width: 8.8 cm

Right Eye Height: 5.9 cm

**Nose**

Width: 7.4 cm

Length: 11.8 cm

**Ears**

Left Ear Width: 16.9 cm

Left Ear Length: 21.8 cm

Right Ear Width: 17.1 cm

Right Ear Length: 22.1 cm

**Hair**

From Scalp to End: 21.0 cm

**_Bean's Measurements:_ **

**Fingers**

Left Index Finger: 49.4 cm

Left Middle Finger: 51.5 cm

Left Ring Finger: 49.2 cm

Left Pinkie Finger: 40.0 cm

Left Thumb: 35.2 cm

Right Index Finger: 49.6 cm

Right Middle Finger: 51.2 cm

Right Ring Finger: 49.2 cm

Right Pinkie Finger: 39.8 cm

Right Thumb: 35.0 cm

**Arms**

Left Elbow to Wrist: 216.2 cm

Left Elbow to Socket: 226.5 cm

Left Full Arm: 453.0 cm

Right Elbow to Wrist: 216.0 cm

Right Elbow to Socket: 226.7 cm

Right Full Arm: 453.6 cm

**Legs**

Left Knee to Ankle: 205.9 cm

Left Knee to Socket: 278.0 cm

Left Full Leg: 494.1 cm

Right Knee to Ankle: 206.1 cm

Right Knee to Socket: 278.2 cm

Right Full Leg: 494.5 cm

**Head**

Width: 70.6 cm

Length: 111.2 cm

**Eyes**

Left Eye Width: 15.4 cm

Left Eye Height: 10.3 cm

Right Eye Width: 15.7 cm

Right Eye Height: 10.2 cm

**Nose**

Width: 16.9 cm

Length: 20.6 cm

**Ears**

Left Ear Width: Unable to measure due to position

Left Ear Length: Unable to measure due to position

Right Ear Width: 25.0 cm

Right Ear Length: 38.1 cm

**Hair**

From Scalp to End: 95.1 cm

“I-” you couldn’t think of any words that came to mind that could describe your amazement, “We had been in there for fifteen minutes maximum Moblit, how.” you asked, although due to your stupefaction, the way it came out made it sound like your question was a statement instead. He let out a little deep chuckle, finding your reaction amusing and turning his head at an angle so his warm brown hues met yours, “Like I said, it-”

“Hey Moblit, could you go get our horses ready?”

The curve that once decorated Moblit’s lips soon morphed into a serious flatline, whatever jovial aspect the man had soon left as his more responsible side came to light, letting out a, “Yes, Section Commander Hanji.” before jogging over to where Bramble and Chestnut were being kept -his own horse and those of the Special Operations Squad were there as well, ‘ _Why couldn’t she have just waited until we got onto our horses, wouldn’t that in the end save more time? Eh, I’m sure she has her reasons._ ’ you reasoned, and if you had spoken the words aloud, you were sure you would have shrugged as well to fully express your sentiment on the situation.

“Why could you just get your own horse, shitty glasses?” Levi queried, half committing to raising his brow as he questioned the girl, “Ah, well… y’knooow shorty, I just wanted to go over what we’re going to do, that’s all.” The man gave her a slightly skeptical look but didn’t further comment, allowing for the brunette to turn to you with a smile, “I was thinking about how we would go about this, and tell me if you think otherwise, but it’s probably a good idea to test how well he can control his body, and overall just observe how he acts in comparison to pure and abnormal titans, right?”

‘ _Well, we can’t see too much about how he’d act given that we will be trapped inside a well, but just taking in the information with what we can see doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all. After this one, maybe we’ll even be able to do another, more proper one tomorrow where we actually get to test things out. I mean, I know Hanji said that we might not even be here for the entirety of today, but regardless it’s still a plausible outcome that I can see happening._ ’ With one final go through in your head, you turned to the woman at your left and gave her a grin, “I think that’s a good idea. I don’t see any reason not to spend today doing that anyways.”

“Good, good.” she answered, returning the upward turn of your lips with a matching one of her own, “I thought you might say that. You, Levi and I can wait a good distance once Eren’s down there,” she spoke with a wave of her hand while first referencing the well, “And use a signal flare from our smoke gun to tell him when we’re ready for him to transform.” then referencing a flare gun as she pretended to shoot one off with a raised arm, even acting out the recoil as she slightly brought her arm back a little and covered her other ear with her other hand. Nodding your head in agreement with a giggle, you soon turned around when another voice sounded from behind you, “Section Commander Hanji?”

“Yes, Petra?”

“What are the rest of us going to do?”

The strawberry blonde’s eyes flickered to yours momentarily, no doubt because she hadn’t seen you so long in a place where titans weren’t an immediate threat, ‘ _At least not until Eren transforms, that is._ ’ Hanji spun herself on her heel as she informed the soldier - _soldiers_ really, as others listening would be doing the same- on what she was planned to do not too long into the future, “The Special Operations Squad will be able to hang back a little, and be ready to jump in at any time should Eren get out of control.” she stopped for a second in thought before adding, “On horseback, of course.”

A quiet ‘ _Tch’_ emitted from the ravenette who was currently on her right, given that she was walking backwards, “Hey four-eyes, I know that she usually is around you but (Y/N) still is a part of _my_ squad.” Levi added, still a little sour that Hanji had basically been able to steal one of his soldiers out from under his nose, ‘ _He does care for his men, he doesn’t really show it that often, but when it was just the six of us I remember how he used to open up a little around us. Man, those were the good old days… although I can’t exactly complain seeing as I enjoy working with Hanji._ ’

“Fine, fine,” she rolled her eyes as she turned back around to walk normally with slightly slumped soldiers that soon fixed themselves, “The Special Operations Squad minus (Y/N) and Eren will be waiting behind on horseback in case he goes rogue.”

“Better.”

\----------------------------------------------------------  


Your palms rested on the stones that made up the well, leaning over so you could see the young shifter down there the best you could. It wasn’t too long ago that everyone had arrived at the place you and Hanji suggested for Eren to transform, and after finding a long enough rope ladder in the abandoned cottage -that, or the people who lived there didn’t mind a giant whole in their wall, nor a few raccoons who served as permanent guests- you, Hanji and Levi soon sent the turquoise eyed soldier down the pit. Hanji, who was at your side, cupped her hands together and shouted down to the boy who had just reached the bottom, ”When we’re ready, I’ll use a smoke round to notify you! After that, try to control yourself and act as normally as possible, ok?!”

It was faint, but his reply was audible nonetheless, “ᴿᵒᵍᵉʳ!” The woman gave a satisfied nod of her head before turning to you and the corporal, who was also at the well, “This dried-up well could hold even a mindless titan… Probably!”

“What do you mean, _probably_?”

The brunette only cackled as she skipped over to her horse and out of hearing range, giving Bramble a gentle pet before hopping on top of her. Trying to resist the urge to smile at her antics -and failing when one blossomed on your face- you didn’t take your eyes off of her as she brushed out her mare’s mane, all while responding to Levi, “Everything’s going to be fine, Levi. She’s just being Hanji, likes to keep people thinking and such I suppose.” He didn’t respond at first, which prompted you to turn your head and look at him, only to find him giving you a quizzical look, ‘ _Shoot, did he catch me staring at Hanji?_ ’ Before he could catch the slight blush that formed on your face from embarrassment, you started walking forwards to get on Chestnut just like Hanji had with her own horse, “C’mon, we should hurry before she explodes.”

“ _Tch._ ”

When the both of you finally got to the chocolate haired section commander, and on your own horses, she didn’t let out more than a, “Let’s go!” before pushing her heels into her horse and urging it forwards, leaning in the direction she was going for easier riding. You could only let out a chuckle at how Hanji had acted and the corporal’s reaction -”Damn, you weren’t kidding (L/N).”- as you did the same, although you didn’t push your mare to go as fast she had hers.

Making your way over you could see the Special Operations Squad and Moblit in the background -you took note that Moblit’s was a little closer than the rest of them, probably in some kind of anxious wait for something to go wrong- and when Levi wasn’t looking in their direction you saw Gunther and Eld make funny faces at you, causing you to stifle your giggles with one hand and hold the reigns with the other, only managing to give a small wave back as well as a roll of your eyes. Briefly looking over to Petra and Oluo told you that the both of them were busy talking to each other, although they kept taking glances up at what was happening to ensure that they would both be on task as soon as the section commander gave the signal.

Finally making it to where Hanji was, you sided yourself right beside the woman on horseback, and Levi went to your other side as he onlooked the well as well. “Geez, what took you so long?”

“Oi, just shoot the flare already.”

“Okok, getting there shorty.” she gave in as she held up the flare gun in her right hand -it had already been in her hands with a proper shell loaded-, her left arm going up to the side of her face the second time that day, although this time it wasn’t fake. You also covered your ears, and you assumed the corporal did as well, as she soon shot it off, her arm at a slight angle in the air so that the smoke was certain to go over the well and therefore allow Eren to see that everyone was ready for him to transform. Gripping the reins tight in your hands soon after, you waited with baited breath for a big shock to go throughout the air -something you hadn’t seen firsthand, but had heard from other’s accounts that a huge blast that was soon followed by steam was typical of his transformation.

One minute passed.

Then two.

Then three.

Sharing a concerned look with Hanji, you started to move your horse forwards ever so slightly to go and see what was going on, “Wait, (Y/N).” she stopped you from advancing, “We don’t know what’s going on. He could transform any second, and if you’re right there when it happens…” she trailed off, hinting that it possibly wouldn’t end well for you.

“Maybe he didn’t see it?” you suggested, glancing at both the section commander and corporal as you searched for confirmation or opposition to your words. Levi was the first to give either one of them to you, “No…” he spoke, “His ability just isn’t that reliable.”

A feeling of dread crept into your stomach, “But if he can’t transform, how is he supposed to eventually take back Wall Maria?”

“He won’t be able to.” he replied as stoic as ever, “I’ll go over to check on him.”

Levi started his horse forwards at a slow run, and sharing a glance with Hanji only garnered you a shrug from the girl, her mocha hues swirling with uncertainty yet that ever-so-present morbid curiosity, “I guess we should follow him?”

You could only nod your head, soon after the both of you rushing your horses over to the ravenette -who had just stood over the well to peer into it as the two of you jumped off of Chestnut and Bramble, “Hey, Eren!” Levi shouted, sparing a glance to the both of you as he tried to inform the young male at the bottom of the pit, “We’re calling it quits for-”

The man stopped, eyes wide as he looked down into the man made hole for water, “Levi?” Hanji asked, concerned for one of the people she had known since seemingly forever, “Did something happen?”

Soon the woman peeked into the well, and you did the same not too long after her. What awaited you was a sight that took away your breath as well- there, a good ten to thirteen meters below, was Eren on his knees, a hopeless look carved upon his face as his features screamed worry and despair. His hands were a bleeding mess, countless bites that you could see from all the way up above, and the first thing that came to mind was, ‘ _What went wrong, why can’t he transform? Why aren’t his wounds_ healing _?_ ’ soon after followed by, ‘ _How in the world is that poor boy going to get up that ladder?_ ’

"ˢᵉᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵃⁿᵈᵉʳ ᴴᵃⁿʲⁱ, ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿ'ᵗ ᵇᵉᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᵃ ᵗⁱᵗᵃⁿ..." you could hear him inform, the way his voice sounded broken as it echoed up not lost on you through the distance. Looking over to Hanji, you saw her looking down at the boy with a creased brow, clearly intrigued by the events that just occurred but also greatly worried by them as well.

  


  


  


  


**Monday, May 14, 850 at 18:30**

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“So your self-inflicted bite wounds on your hands aren’t healing, either?” Levi asked in his normal, dull tone as you wrapped bandages around one of Eren’s hands that laid palm-up on your thigh so you could get a better leverage to work with.

Currently, the entirety of the Special Operations Squad was sitting at a picnic table, one of the many outside the base Levi had chosen for his squad to stay for the night, seeing as the sun was in the early stages of setting. And while Hanji and you wanted to spend the night Moblit brought it to your attention that you both really should be returning to HQ as long as nothing had happened. You sat with both legs on either side of the long plank of wood that served as a seat, facing Eren as you tended to him and with your back to Oluo who -if you were sitting correctly- would have been on your left. On the other side sat Petra, Gunther and Eld going from your left to your right, and everyone besides you and Eren were focused on their teacups filled with the name-appropriate beverage, despite each one sitting and brewing for different times to the drinker’s taste. The corporal stood about a meter away from the table with a hand on his hip and a cup of tea held in his usual fashion in the other, and despite him not being right next to all of you, every one of you at the table could hear him just fine. Hanji was currently with Moblit, feeding Bramble, Chestnut and Moblit’s horse, who you still had yet to learn the name of -you had offered help, but Hanji suggested that you should probably help Eren with his bite marks seeing as you were more than qualified and he still wasn’t healing like he normally did.

You heard Eren give a stressed sigh as he just stared at his unaddressed hand -as you hadn’t gotten to it yet, having only just started taking care of his wounds- while he gave a reply, “No, sir.”

Finishing up the first hand, you gently nudged him to give you his other as the corporal continued, “If you can’t transform into a titan, our main goal of sealing Wall Maria is off the table. This is an order…” The teen looked up to him as he stopped speaking momentarily, tearing his eyes away from his currently being bandaged hand, “ _Make it happen._ ”

“Yes, sir.” Eren gave in without a struggle, his eyes clouded over as he clearly pondered on how he was going to make himself do something that seemed to be out of his control. The corporal soon started off elsewhere, and Petra soon got up to ask him something soon after he made his leave.

“Don’t let it get you down, Eren.” your blonde best friend encouraged, amber pools calm as they observed how stressed Eren was, “It just means you’re more human than I thought.” Oluo added. ‘ _Well, even if he had been able to shift, I don’t think that necessarily means that he is less human,_ ’ you thought with a frown as you finished wrapping the last part of the bandage around his hand, “ _He still is a person, whether he can turn into a fifteen meter beast or not. Besides, titans are more human than most people think, at least_ I _think so._ ’

Gunther took a brief sip of his tea before adding onto Oluo’s thought, you turning around and sitting normally as you listened to his words, “Look at it this way, it’s a lot better to find out now than in the field. Back to the drawing board, huh?”

“He’s right.” Eld agreed with the tan man to his right, “No such thing as being too careful when so much is depending on your ability to transform.”

“Probably…” Eren thought, looking down at his tea as if he was contemplating drinking it, “Thank you, by the way, Captain (Y/N).”

“Huh? What for?” you asked, partially lost as to why he would be thanking you after he found out he couldn’t transform. “For tending to me, now and after the trial not too long ago. I never got to thank you for that.” Giving him a smile, you picked up your teaspoon and briefly stirred the liquid around in your cup before taking a sip, “It’s no problem Eren.” The boy quietly muttered to himself, most likely not even realising that he was voicing his thoughts aloud, “ˢʰᵉ’ˢ ʲᵘˢᵗ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵃ ᵐᵒᵗʰᵉʳ…”

At this you couldn’t help but spit out your tea, effectively staining your pants with a light brown and the table with splatters of a brewed tea, hearing Gunther and Eld letting out some chuckles at your expense. Even Oluo -who usually tried to prevent himself from laughing because it was something that seemed uncharacteristic for Levi, whom he always tried to copy- let out a small snort while covering his mouth discreetly, putting his tea down to do so as he turned his face away. Eren must’ve realized that he had sounded his thoughts to everyone at the table, given that his cheeks were rouged ever so slightly and he was now trying to look away from everyone at the table, “Well I guess you’re not completely wrong there, Eren.’ Gunther teased you and the boy, and it was at the moment you would have elbowed him if he were sitting right beside you, “Yeah,” Eld agreed, “She’s always on our tails about doing things properly, well, she _used_ to when we saw her more anyways.”

“Woah woah woah,” you said while putting your hands up, giving small glares to the two men before you, “Hang on there, _besties_.” Cue a groan from the both of them and a growing smile from you -not only from their reactions but the various memories they made you recall, “I am nowhere as bad as Moblit.”

While neither Eld nor Gunther voiced an opposition to your statement, they clearly expressed it on their faces as they both gave you skeptical looks, “I’m being honest! Here, lemme just-” you said before climbing out of your seat, planning on seeing if Moblit could spare a moment. He however seemed to have one to spare, given as the man was right behind you -even if he seemed to be in the process of getting you for other purposes, “Oh, perfect timing Moblit!” you said happily with a smile as you looked up at him, “We call you Mother Moblit, don’t we?”

Metaphorical beads of sweat grew on his forehead, not expecting to be asked such a question this soon, “Uh, well, not _that_ often...”

“But we still do, don’t we?” You looked up at him with the best puppy eyes you could manage, hoping that this would somehow convince your light brown haired friend to tell the truth to your other friends. “I-...yes.” he finally relented. “Ah ha!” you said, throwing an arm around Moblit’s shoulder in a victorious gesture of confidence, “See, I told you both!” Gunther rolled his eyes out of amusement, meanwhile Eld only let out a laugh, “Moblit, you don’t have to listen to her just because she has the title of captain. It's complete bull.”

Gunther added on with a turn of his lips, soon sipping on his tea after contributing what he wanted to the conversation, “Yeah, it didn’t even exist until Erwin ‘needed’ a new title.”

“Hey! I shall have you both know that I am very important, and that my title isn’t bull!” removing your arm from Moblit’s neck, you gestered about with your hands as if it would help your case, “I mean, I try to tell him to just call me (Y/N), he just doesn’t listen half the time!” Everyone went quiet as they waited for an answer from the man you spoke about, and it wasn’t long after that he jumped back into the conversation, “Captain (Y/N) is right, ever since she gained her title I’ve been using it against her wishes.”

“Oh, c’mon,” you started, looking up at him once again, “Go back to calling me (Y/N), it was so nice y’know.”

“I’ll think about it…” he trailed off, but once he saw you giving him puppy eyes again, he added on to his previous sentence, “...(Y/N).”

“There you go, much better Mother Mobby.” You beamed up at him, giving him a friendly side hug. He let out an annoyed huff of air and had only just returned the gesture by putting his arm behind you and to your side when a voice cut out, “Moblit!” Turning around only told you that it was Hanji who was trying to gain the male’s attention, even though she achieved more than that when almost everyone at the table looked at her, “Uh, come here, I need to uh, talk to you real quick.”

“Of course, section commander.” he replied instantly, a look of remembrance crossing his face right before he left, “The reason I came over here was to tell you that we’re leaving soon, just as a heads up.” You nodded your head, taking in the information with the reminder that you couldn’t spend everyday testing with Hanji _and_ with you old squad -who always seemed to bring out the very playful and silly side of you, save for when in actual battle, “Got it, thank you.”

This time he nodded his head, already running off to the section commander who was looking at the caramel headed man with an annoyed expression and a raised eyebrow, ‘ _Uh oh, she doesn’t look too happy, I wonder what happened…_ ’ You watched as the girl didn’t spare you a glance, just speaking to Moblit as they both headed off to the nearby forest, seemingly for a walk, ‘ _Ouch… I kinda wish she asked me to go with her as well._ ’ Letting out a sigh that was audible only to the keenest of ears, you reached your arm out to your now mostly cooled tea when you heard Eren let out a hiss, “You ok?” Eld asked, beating you to the question.

“Y-Yeah, I just dropped my spoon.”

“Do you want me to get it?” you offered, already taking a step in the direction where you had assumed it had fallen. “No, but thank you Captain (Y/N).”

You nodded your head as you then watched him start to lean down, and after you had deemed that he would be able to in fact reach it, you took a step back -to where you had originally been standing- while starting to sit down on the wooden plank.

**_Boom._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated a small bit before 4 November, 2020!
> 
> I hope everyone is having a great day!!!! ^^


	25. 25║Explanation

**Monday, May 14, 850 at 18:41**

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**

You flew to your left as you instinctively let go of your tea cup and put your hands to your ears, stumbling and catching yourself for a small fraction of a second before ultimately falling onto the ground harshly, staring wide-eyed at the bright yellow and orange burst of light that just flashed before you, ‘ _What the fuck was that?!_ ’ you thought in a panic. The whole place became filled with steam, and you couldn’t see too far ahead of you, only a pair of boots and a face that was so fogged out you couldn’t tell who it was -that and only the fact that they were standing up from one of the picnic tables, “What was that?!” “Titan steam?!” “Gimme your hand!” While many shouts cried out, the last one was clearly directed at you, seeing as the figure that you had previously saw was now holding a hand out for you to grab onto, moving their fingers as if to rush you. Responding to the tense -and you swore you heard a small bit of worry for the situation at hand laced in as well- voice, you clasped your own hand onto theirs and pushed your legs to help yourself stand up, “Th-!” ducking your mouth into your elbow, you let out a few strained coughs, due to the steam that didn’t sit right in your lungs, “Thanks.”

Finally being able to see who helped you, you sent Oluo an appreciative nod as you both looked for what had caused such an explosion, ‘ _It has to be from Eren, but why would he change now?_ ’ Cautiously you took your blades out, sticking with Oluo -who had done the same- as you walked forwards to where you believed Eren had been, although you truly couldn't tell what direction you were going in with your obscured vision and disorienting fall. Oluo seemed to naturally follow you, and you weren’t sure if it was because you were technically a higher up to him or not, but nonetheless you both stumbled along cautiously until things started to clear up more.

Once the steam had finally dissipated enough for you to see around you, you heard strained grunts coming from Eren, turning around towards the boy and letting out a gasp, you blinked once or twice at the partially formed titan body before putting your blades away, seeing that he didn’t seem to be a threat and was just as startled by the situation. Slowly you broke from Oluo, and headed over to Eren to try and make heads and tails of what was happening. You glanced your eyes back over to your squad now that you could see everything properly, and upon seeing that they were all ok -although they were staring in terror at the steaming hot titan body, save for Gunther and Eld who both quickly glanced at you and each other to make sure the three of you were ok- you focused your attention back on Eren, walking towards the shifter once again. You held a calming hand out as if it would suddenly make the poor boy less stressed. “Damnit, why now?!” the boy yelled at no one in particular, except for perhaps himself as he kept desperately tugging at his one hand that seemed to be trapped in the shoulder of a titan, ‘ _That’s strange, the whole body’s not here, just like those accounts said about that one time Eren transformed to protect him and his friends from a cannon shell, if I recall correctly._ ’ You thought as a generated -and most likely inaccurate- image of the scene played out in your head, given as you weren’t actually there for the event that took place right before Humanity took back Trost -and therefore you had never actually seen him transform before.

“Calm down.” Levi said warningly, and it was only when you looked to the corporal that you understood who his words were truly directed to, “I’m sorry corporal! I don’t know how I trans-” he cut himself off as he looked at the scene before him in utter surprise, there in front of Levi stood his squad, all ready with their blades out to attack at any given moment, ‘ _It clearly wasn’t intentional. What caused it then… Could it be that he was stressed about having to turn so he did? The stress of Trost, the stress of protecting his friends from that one bombshell… Maybe? Something seems off about that guess though, but it’s the only thing I’ve got right now!_ ’ Quickly seeing that that was only making him more stressed out, you hastily jogged around to the other side of his titan so when you called for his attention he would turn away from the Special Operation Squad and hopefully stop focusing on them, ‘ _I suppose I can’t really blame them for being so on guard, the amount of people that they’ve seen killed by titans like Eren’s is through the roof. And honestly, I can’t say that I would’ve acted any different if I hadn’t done all of those tests with Hanji, but this isn’t helping him!_ ’ Stopping at a good angle where you could see his face clearly, you tried to capture the adolescent’s attention, “Eren, look at me!”

The fifteen year old did as he was told, turning around to face you with eyebrows that were knit together in worry and confusion, “Try focusing on pulling your arm out!” He didn’t verbally say anything as he nodded his head, grasping his left hand on his right arm as he pushed with his legs and pulled as far back as he could with beads of sweat forming on his forehead. In the background you could hear faint yelling coming from Petra, Oluo, Eld and Gunther, all of them telling the corporal to please back away from the potential threat that was Eren Jaeger. Seeing that this was only making him more stressed, you decided to get up there and physically help him, “Eren! I’m coming up!”

Throwing your arms on the steaming muscle, you had just enough time to place your feet on it and try to pull yourself up further when the pain receptors went off in your brain, a hot burning that sent through your hands causing you to immediately let go and let out a loud gasp. You let out a groan as you fell onto the hard ground, vision doubling for a brief second before everything focused again, “Captain (Y/N)?!” Eren shouted in worry, not knowing what exactly had happened. Sitting up, you let out a, “I’m fine!” in the loudest shout you could without making your head hurt more, before you started to stand up, soon after looking at your hands and seeing that they were slightly sensitive, although it was nothing in particular to worry about, ‘ _So titans without their skin is hot? I suppose that makes sense, their bodies do steam after all and they are known for having an extremely high body temperature. It just looks like when they have their-_ ’

“EREN!” you heard Hanji’s voice yell, sprinting at full speed towards both you and the male -who quickly turned his head towards the woman barreling in his direction- before skidding to a stop at your side and turning her head back and forth between the shifter and you -Moblit on her other side, “Can I touch your arm?!” Her eyes were wide with their usual excitement when anything titan related was brought up, and she wordlessly pleaded with the teen to let her see what was going on -although you were sure that she would have no trouble at all verbally begging to let her see what was going on as well. “It’s ok, right?!”

Eren could barely let out an answer when she started to reach forwards to the gigantic appendage, but you grabbed onto her arm and pulled her back harshly enough -given that you thought she might continue to pull against you afterwards- and stopping her before she could, “(Y/NNNN)!” she whined, a light pink dusting her cheeks as she stopped trying to go forwards and didn’t struggle against your grip -to your complete and utter surprise- so you loosened your grip on the girl’s arm, “Hanji, it’s steaming hot, I don’t think you want to burn yourself on that.”

“Really?” she asked as you then let go, watching as her mocha orbs drifted to Eren’s titan arm curiously. It wasn’t long afterwards that she brought her once hand cautiously closer, deciding that -with your warning- it would be better just to feel the heat it projected as opposed to trying to feel what titan muscle felt like. At least, that was what you thought she was going to do, but no. What she actually did was shove her hand onto the steaming flesh and let out a yell after a second, steam emitting from where she touched, “You’re…” she startled as she stumbled from the heat, balancing herself on one leg at a time, “... right (Y/N)!” Her eyes lightened up again and she looked at you excitedly, yet in pain, “It’s hot!” she shouted before jumping a little and dropping to her knees, sliding on the ground the slightest with her hands in the air and head pointed upwards, “Without the skin, it's really damn hot! _Unbelievably_ hot!” Moblit, who was at her side, only showed immense concern for someone he considered his best friend, “You’re being too reckless, Section Commander Hanji!” The woman ignored him and turned back around, soon jumping up on her feet as she threw questions at Eren, “Don’t you feel it Eren?! How does it feel right where it connects?!” You only face palmed at the unnecessary harm she had brought upon herself, yet you couldn’t help but do it with a smile, seeing as it was such a Hanji thing for her to do, ‘ _Believing is seeing I suppose, or rather, feeling in this case. She could’ve just wanted to feel how exactly hot it was for herself too, that a possibility._ ’

Nevertheless, you turned your attention to the boy who was now looking back down at his arm, gritting his teeth as he then gave another attempt at pulling his arm free and head pointed to the sky. As Eren let out a strained grunt, Oluo spoke up from somewhere you couldn’t see -the only way you could tell it was him being the fact that you were able to recognize his voice after working with him for so many years, “Oi, Eren, don’t do anything rash!” After a few seconds of the titan shifter not answering and only continuing, the muscle fibers that were connected to his right hand slowly broke and freed him with a slight yell, causing his legs -that had been pushing against the materialized titan body mass to help try and free his arm- to propel him flying off of his titan, and onto the hard ground, falling on his back and then on his stomach as he tumbled onto the grass.

You didn’t have anytime to pity the boy however, as not only did the now steaming titan arm in front of you garner you attention, but so did the section commander at your left, who held her hands to her head and was doing a panicked dance of some sort, “What?! Wait Eren… That was too fast!” she let out as she started to circle the body -everyone else except for you and Moblit focused on the shifter now- going behind you as she tried to observe as much as she could from the steaming corpse as she could. “I still wanted to investigate some things! Ah-!” she suddenly cut off whatever word she was starting to say as something shiney caught her eyes -a metal teaspoon in Eren’s right titan hand, “Huh?”

\----------------------------------------------------------

“What happened right before he transformed, do you remember?” Hanji asked as the both of you walked through the old and abandoned castle walls that Levi and his squad -and now you, Hanji and Moblit given that Eren had transformed- were staying at for the night. The girl carried a dimly candle with her, the flame flickering back and forth, casting shadows about the walls of Moblit, who was to her left, and you, who was to her right, “I have to be honest Hanji,” you started, “Nothing really seemed to be too out of the ordinary. We were all drinking tea when all the sudden _bam_.” you emphasized with clapped hands, trying to recreate the sound that you had heard but doing it no justice in the end, “There was steam everywhere and everyone could barely see anything, or at least I couldn’t.”

“Hm…” Hanji trailed off as she stared at the ground, walking at a slightly slower pace that was not noticed by either you or Moblit, “Before I give out any of my theories,” she said before turning her head up to you and connecting your (E/C) orbs to her dark chocolate ones. There was a tiny bit of tiredness woven within them, but the main emotion that really stuck out to you was that playful curiosity she always seemed to sport through her glasses, her long eyelashes barely being able to touch the frame but still managing to do so every once in a while. When your eyes traveled down to her cheeks, they held a small rosey red colour to the slightly tanned flesh, and she soon brought her unfettered hand up to the back of her neck to scratch it, the strands of her straight, maroon hair bouncing a little as she went, “-N)...? Hello, anybody home?”

“Huh?!” you let out in surprise, having completely forgotten what was happening, “Gah, sorry, I’m just a little sleepy, that’s all…” you told the first excuse that came to mind, and you mentally cursed yourself when you realized that it was the same one that you had told her not too long ago, ‘ _The Walls damn you, me! C’mon (Y/N), get your act together, that excuse is only going to work so many times until she finds out that you like her,_ if _she hasn’t already figured it out. Honestly, she probably already has…_ ’ you thought with a heat creeping up onto your cheeks, shaking your head and sputtering out another apology when you looked back at Hanji, who had her eyebrow raised, “Sorry, it’s just embarrassing to get caught spacing out so often, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

The woman blinked, for a second being silent before bursting out into a loud laughter that startled you, “Ah, good ol’ (Y/N)! Always worrying about small things, don’t worry about it, ok?” Something about her seemed ingenuine in that moment, but you couldn’t exactly place your finger on it, so you decided that it was probably nothing and willed for your face to cool down a little, “Hey Moblit?”

“Yes Section Commander Hanji?” the caramel headed male at her left side responded.

“Could you go get Levi and Eren and tell them to meet us in the dining room, and then get the Special Operations Squad to come as well? I want to go over possible reasons as to why Eren shifted.”

“Of course.”

And with that the man sped up, taking a left turn where the two of you left kept going forwards with his own candle that he grabbed off the wall -most likely with the intent of replacing it when he passed the spot once again, although this time with the corporal, shifter and the rest of the squad you were a part of. “Anyways, all I’d asked was, why do you think he transformed. Eren that is.”

“Oh, well, I have a hunch, but nothing that I think is exactly the main cause yet.”

“Well, it’s worth hearing out,” she reasoned, “What was it?”

“Before he transformed, Eren received an order from Levi that he needed to learn how to transform, something that very clearly stressed him out given his reaction. And with things that have happened in the past, like with plugging the hole in Trost; he probably would’ve been stressed about everything going correctly. And when he protected his friends from that one cannon shell; Eren must’ve been feeling very stressed over that situation considering it was life or death. The only thing I can’t fit into my theory is why he didn’t shift in the well,” you admitted. You hadn’t thought of it at first, but it came to you not too long ago, “I’m sure that after the first time he bit his hand and didn’t transform, he had to have been stressed. I mean, I know I would have been.”

Hanji didn’t say anything for a moment as she walked down the hall, candle held perfectly still as she got lost in her thoughts, ‘ _Don’t stare at her this time, (Y/N). You got lucky that last time._ ’

“That does seem like a rather well rounded theory, I must admit. But I think I might have come up with one that fills in the well scenario, I just need you to answer a question first.”

“Yes?”

The woman shoved her hand into her pocket, pulling out something that was covered in a white handkerchief, one that she probably had stored in her pocket for no real reason -given as she wasn’t one to care too much for germs, unlike some people- until she wrapped it around the object. Slowly, she took it off and revealed to you what was underneath -a metallic teaspoon, “Was Eren doing anything with this before he transformed?”

You looked at it, trying your best to recall those few seconds before you were launched backwards into the air, “Yes… I believe he was trying to pick it up.”

The curve of her lips grew more and more as you spoke, and by the time she finished, she gave a fist pump and did a small jump -given that she was holding a candle in her hand- and let out a, “Yahoo!” as her eyes sparkled with excitement, one that you couldn’t help but partially match with a small bit of your own and an almost equal smile, “Well, what is it?” Hanji shoved the spoon back in her pocket once she covered it with the handkerchief once more, sending you a mischievous grin, “I can’t tell you! You’ll just have to wait until I tell everyone else.”

Giving her a playful glare, you lightly elbowed the woman, “Oh c’mon, I’ve been working with you for three years, and you can’t tell me?”

“It hasn’t been three years yet, you’re off by 25 days silly.”

You rolled your eyes, although on the inside you were more than surprised, ‘ _She remembered? Eh, it’s probably coincidental, and who knows, maybe something else happened on that same day that was important to her._ ’ The both of you had finally reached the door that you were heading to, and with a final sigh from you at not getting anything from the girl, you opened the door, “Fineee, you win this time, Zoë.” She followed right behind you, closing the door with a satisfying click behind her, “You mean _every time_ , (L/N).”

Your chit chat was soon cut to an end as your eyes locked upon those of the Special Operations Squad, clearly having been there before for no particular reason, “Do you both need us to leave?” Petra spoke up and asked, unaware if you both were coming in here to talk about important matters or just sit somewhere like they were, “No, Petra, actually Moblit was going to look for you.” Speaking of the devil, said man then came in through the door, “Corporal Levi will be here in just a second, he wanted to go over something with Eren really quick and told me that the Special Operations Squad should already be here.” He said that last part while scanning his eyes over the room, seeing that all four -five if you were included- of them were there. Petra and Oluo were sitting next to each other at a table, while Gunther and Eld chose to stand near their seats, for reasons that you didn’t understand, but decided that it wasn’t worth looking into nonetheless.

The room then went silent, the rare and calm quiet you’ve grown to love yet grow weary of dancing itself across the room and making itself comfortable upon each and everyone of everybody’s ears. It wasn’t long after that Hanji moved herself to the one end of the table facing the door, and naturally, both you and Moblit followed her, you standing on her left side this time next to Gunther, and Moblit standing to her right, although a little further back. Now that you were closer to the squad, you could tell that something was playing at their minds, even though you couldn’t tell exactly what. It was that face they always gained after going outside the Walls, although a little bit more light and not as downcast, but just a guilty, ‘ _What happened?_ ’

Hanji moved to put the candle that she had carried over onto the middle of the wooden table, only adding to the already existing lighting coming from the lit candles hanging on the walls of the room. Your eyes had just become fixated on the flame when the door opened.

“How long is this going to be, four-eyes?”

“Actually, it shouldn’t take that long.” she said, already looking at the young shifter observantly as he stood at the other end of the table across from her, and it was only then you noticed that the Special Operations Squad seemed to take great interest in the way the boards of the wooden table connected together to form the surface, ‘ _They must feel guilty about before, huh? I’ll have to talk to them about it later, the Walls know they don’t need any more guilt than they already have…_ ’

You studied their faces briefly, each one with their brows creased and a slight and small frown on their faces, although you doubted it was noticeable to anyone else in the room except for the five of you, after all, you had been working with each other for about two and a half years, and known each other for even longer. Flickering your eyes over to the corporal, you noted that his face was as impassive as ever, his usual frown that was always carved upon his lips still present, ‘ _Maybe he’s able to tell how they’re feeling, but if he can, he’s not acting on it. And Eren surely can’t, he’s barely been in the group for long enough._ ’

By the time you spaced back in, you had made it just in time for Hanji’s theory -there was the handkerchief and teaspoon on the table, and the girl was now a step closer to the piece of furniture before her -the wooden table, “...trying to pick it up, you say?”

The teen gave a nod, turquoise eyes staring down the miniscule utensil the section commander soon picked up, “The right titan hand Eren conjured was holding this,” she said, adjusting it in between her forefinger and thumb in a natural, comfortable position, “Like this, right between its index finger and thumb. Now, it’s hard to imagine that was an accident…” she trailed off, looking to you as she said her next sentence, slightly playing with the spoon in her fingers, “And for some reason, the heat and pressure didn’t warp the spoon at all. Eren, you transformed after you picked it up, correct?”

Once again, the boy gave an affirmative nod of his head, although this time a small look of understanding was starting to dawn on his features, his eyes slightly widened and lips partially parted, “That may explain why you couldn’t transform earlier.” Hanji said, and then it all clicked for you, and you couldn’t help but voice out pieces of evidence, “Kill the titans, block the cannon shell, lift the boulder, pick up the spoon…” Turning to the woman, you looked at her curiously, “In each case he had a clear goal before transforming, didn’t he?”

“Precisely,” the brunette said, beaming at you, “My theory is that biting your hand isn’t the sole trigger, you may need some goal, as well.”

The male looked aghast, holding his hand out before him in slight fear -it was only now that you noticed that the bandages you had placed on his hands before were gone, as well were any traces that there had been implying that he even needed any, “It’s true that when I turned into a titan this time, it was like when I blocked that cannon shell, but…” he trailed off, something akin to desperation held in his hues that had its fair dosage of frustration, “...I turned into a titan to pick up a spoon? What is this?”

Your attention was only dragged away from Eren when you heard a voice emit from your left, Gunther looking to Eren, “In other words, you didn’t deliberately shift without permission?”

“No, sir.” Eren confirmed with an added title, head at a small downwards angle in what you assumed was part shame. The dark brown haired soldier let out a sigh, soon looking at Eld, and at the same time Petra turned and looked at Oluo, before suddenly, all four of them sunk their teeth into their right hands, ‘ _Wait, what? What are they- oh… This is their way of apologizing to Eren, isn’t it?_ ’

“W-Wait, what’re you doing?” the boy asked, looking baffled as he took in the scene before him. “That hurt…” Gunther admitted, looking down at his hand, “Yeah, this isn’t easy. I’m amazed you can bite through your skin, Eren.” Eld said, holding his right hand with his left and sending an apologetic smile towards the shifter. “We made the wrong decision, this is a small price to pay. Not that it makes a difference. Keeping you in control is our job, and there’s nothing wrong with that.” the sandy blonde admitted, a strained look on his face as he had to give an apology to someone who wasn’t his superior. You were actually quite amazed at how well his apology went until he added on one last bit, which almost made you facepalm, “So don’t get cocky!”

‘ _Oluo, you were doing so good… Ah well, at least it’s good to see that Oluo is still Oluo._ ’ Petra was much more genuine and sincere in her apology, eyebrows creased in an apologetic manner that showed how bad she truly felt for her previous actions, “I’m sorry, Eren…” she started, “We’ve been so jumpy, you must be disappointed in our stupidity. However, even so,.. We’re going to rely on you. And we want you to rely on us, all five of us. So please, have faith in us…” You honestly had no clue if Petra was referencing you or the corporal, but given how the corporal stood up for him, and the fact that everyone else she was talking about was a part of the Special Operations Squad, you could only assume that she was in fact referencing you. But just in case your deductions were wrong, you nodded your head in agreement, either way showing your support for the teen.

“Is that all, Hanji?” Levi asked, cold steel eyes -that you thought, for once in your life, held a small bit of emotion within them- meeting up to the warm, soft orbs of the section commander, “Yes.”

“Well then I’m going to my room. Everyone is free for the night, we start at our normal time tomorrow morning.”

A chorus of, “Goodnight corporal.” went across the room, save for you and Hanji who had called him Levi, “Y’know (Y/N),” Oluo started, looking at your unbitten hands, “It seems pretty cowardly of you to not join in with us. It was an apology from the whole of the Special Operations Squad, not just us four...” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his statement, about to tell him why you didn’t give yourself a self-inflicted injury -that you didn’t even know about until a few minutes ago- before you were interrupted by Eld, “She didn’t have to, she didn’t draw her blades on him. At least not like we did.”

“But still, we need him to trust us, and how is he going to do so when one of us didn’t fully commit?” You couldn’t help the happiness you felt when you heard that Oluo still considered you a part of the Special Operations Squad, ‘ _I mean, I know technically my title only is keeping me a part of the group, but with how long I’m away and how little I actually work with them, I wouldn’t have been surprised if they almost excluded me in a sense._ ’

“Oluo!” Petra chastised, smacking her hand against his arm -not harshly, but enough for it to sting for a second- before continuing her scolding to a slightly red Oluo, ‘ _Oh? Wait, does he like her back…?_ ’ you thought, recalling that one time Petra had confided in you her secret crush on the sandy blonde. That had been a while ago, but given how close the two of them had been recently, you could only assume that the redhead still held feelings for him. Blinking as if to focus back on the situation at hand, you slightly held out your hands in front of your waist, looking down at them and tracing the few redder parts of it strewn about your (S/C) palms -from the previous light burns- with your (E/C) eyes.

“You don’t say things like that! Of course she’s fully committed, she went out there to directly help him while _we_ threatened him!”

Oluo then went quiet, and you couldn’t help but feel like you were now obligated to bite your hand as well. Lightly flexing you still stinging hands from being burnt before, you looked at Hanji instinctively for confirmation, but to your surprise she was staring at your hands, the smallest of frowns able to be found on her face as she looked over the faint burns. The Special Operations Squad was still bickering about and telling Oluo why you didn’t have to injure yourself like that when you brought your right hand -just like the others had- up to your lips for the briefest of seconds, opening your jaws.

And then you bit down as hard as you could.

The response was immediate, a sharp stinging flooded your nerves, and you could taste a faint irony taste on your tastebuds, no one making a peep as everyone who was left in the room watched you remove your hand from your mouth. Small pools of blood started to form where your teeth had been, and you mentally scolded yourself for biting too deep. Nonetheless you looked up to the boy, who looked speechless that you had done what you did, “Eren, I, solely as a member of the Special Operations Squad, hope that you can forgive me for drawing my blades on you.”

“O-Of course I forgive you, all of you.” a small bead of sweat could be found on his forehead, and it was then that you felt a soft tap on your white pants. Looking down only caused you to try and hold back a sigh, ‘ _First tea, and now blood on my pants. At this point, I’m going to need a new pair for good, there’s no way I can get all of these stains out._ ’

Hanji, who was still to your right, put a gentle hand on your shoulder while shaking her head, “(Y/N)... C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up.”

And you didn’t protest as she brought you back to her room for the night -once again, for seemingly the countless time- cleaning up your injuries, ‘ _It’s moments like these that make me wonder who the child here actually is. Sure, she might be enthusiastic at times, but I’m the one who’s always getting hurt and needing help._ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! Updated 11 November, 2020!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed and that everyone has a great day!!
> 
> ((Once again, I'm so sorry for the delay in my replies to comments. I adore each and every one, and I promise I'll properly respond to them ((if it's directed at me! ^^)) once school clears up a little!!))


	26. 26║Titan Communication

**Saturday, June 1, 850 at 10:32**

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“Ok! First step, communication!” Hanji exclaimed, taking a slight step forward to the two beasts who were tethered down by various cables, your tired self soon doing the same with a muffled yawn. You, said woman, Moblit and the rest of Hanji’s squad were currently in the old spot where Chicacchironi and Albert had first been kept -and before them, Leslie and more. Not much had changed from your memory, but then again, you supposed that there wasn’t exactly much _to_ change, ‘ _Honestly I prefer it this way, I don’t have to work my mind to remember the layout of a new place._ ’ The only thing that did change however were the titans that were being contained. This time instead of testing on three and nine meter monsters though, you had a four and seven meter pair roped down. The four meter, who you had learned was Sawney, had short blonde hair and sapphire hues, a light complexion and a slightly unproportional head to his body -and while it was slightly smaller, it was nowhere near as bad as you had seen some on others. The seven meter, Bean, had dark brown hair in what you considered a short, strange and misshapen mullet, with hazel orbs to compliment it and a similar skin tone to Sawney’s. Unfortunately for Bean, he had to be tied onto the ground -laying down- in order to be fully incapacitated -Bean not being as lucky as the bigger, nine meter titan Albert had been when you brought him here- unlike Sawney who was sitting on the stone floor.

Albert and Chicacchironi hadn’t spoken when both you and Hanji tried to speak with them -or communicate with them in any way, really- yet despite the negative results so far, Hanji and you both agreed that it was worth the short amount of time that it took to make the attempts on communication. So, here you both were on this sunny day -trying to get them to speak, write, or any other means of communication to show that they understood you- before leaving for where Levi and the Special Operations Squad were first thing in the morning, ‘ _Very first thing, actually. We might end up leaving late tonight just to get there earlier and go over planning, which is just_ great _for me because I’m already sleep deprived from sorting out and finishing more paperwork last night. Although, I can’t deny that I’m looking forward to testing on Eren._ ’

The brunette looked back at you with a sweet smile, one you couldn’t help but feel fit her perfectly despite the small amount of concern that was hidden deep within her cocoa spheres, “You ready? You can step back from this one if you’d like, it’s probably not best for you to be getting too close if you’re tired.” You looked at the smaller titan after sending her your own turn of your lips, giving a small shake of your head in disagreement, “Since when have I ever let sleep deprivation get in the way of testing?”

“Well, there was that one time when you fell asleep while writing down questions like a month or so ago.”

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help the small pull at your lips at her response and light blush at the embarrassing memory, “You know what I mean Hanji! I can’t believe you remembered _that_ of all things…”

“Of course I would, the only reason we know that titans need sunlight for energy might be _because of_ that.” she said, giving you a playful jab to your side with her elbow. You only gave her a pretend glare and let out a small huff at the blow to your side and focused the conversation back to its original topic with your next words, “Either way, I’m perfectly fine to talk to them after you, I promise.”

With a wave of your hand to the two titans, you took the smallest of steps back as if to give the girl the space she would need to talk to them and try and receive a verbal response, “If you say so (Y/N).”

Watching as she made her way over to the side of Sawney -in something that you saw akin to a skip- the sitting titan who was watching the both of you very carefully with his ocean eyes. Waving her hand enthusiastically to Sawney, she (re)introduced herself, “Heya, you remember me, don’t you Sawney? I’m Hanji Zoë!” Then, you your complete surprise, instead of letting you introduce yourself to the titan after her like you had in the past, she turned herself and gestured her arm out to you with a devious grin, “And this is (Y/N) (L/N), my bestest friend and possibly the best coworker I could ask for!” Ignoring the stab her should-be harmless words gave to your heart -and the sinking feeling it produced in your stomach- you gave an overly cheery smile to the titan, “Hey there Sawney, I hope that you’re not too…” you stopped in the middle of your sentence to let out a tiny yawn, shaking your head and slightly shifting your weight from foot to foot slowly to help keep you conscious as you continued to speak to him, meeting your smaller eyes up to his bigger ones, “Sorry about that, I’m a little tired. But nonetheless, I hope you’re not too upset about being… y’know… _contained_.”

There was a silence as the both of you seemingly waited for a response from the titan who was currently staring the both of you down in a rather threatening way, despite his compromised position. Only scribbling -which you presumed came from Moblit, copying down all he could about what was happening- and small, barely audible chatter from the soldiers of Hanji’s squad could be heard. And while there were other miscellaneous background noises, like the slight breeze of a gentle wind that reached your ears, and the breathing of both titans, neither of you got the kind of answer you wanted.

“Ok, so I see you don’t feel like talking today, no matter.” Hanji said as she waved her hand as if to brush off his lack of reply, turning over to Bean, who was piercing his green and brown mixed orbs into the both of you, “What about you Bean? Do you wanna talk today?”

Once again, despite there being a pause where almost all was still save for the passage of time, there was nothing that passed his lips that even started to resemble a word, one that you spoke or not. ‘ _It’s times like these where I wonder if Ilse was not completely sane when she wrote those words down in her journal, I mean, she would have been going through something traumatic while out in titan territory alone… Although, titans should have the ability to speak. They clearly have the vocal cords to, I mean, their screams are terror inducing, especially up close._ ’ you thought with a shiver, recalling the numerous times where you had been unfortunate enough to hear a titan roar up close, ‘ _Too many times, too many._ ’

Hanji let out a sigh after a moment, clearly seeing that she wasn’t going to get a response from either titan, “Well, if either of you change your minds, please, feel free to speak up at any time. Even if you’d be interrupting us, we don’t mind!” You couldn’t help but mentally note that she always tended to raise the volume of her voice when talking to titans, ‘ _I suppose it makes sense given that it’s probable that their hearing range is different, or at least that it’s harder for them to hear quieter sounds. I’m not sure that she’s consciously doing that though, but it’s still cute._ ’

“So up next is that one where we basically ask them to do something to communicate, right?” you asked, partially raising an eyebrow in question.

“Yup,” the girl replied, grinning, “Let’s stand in between the both of them and then ask them to do something, yeah?”

“Sounds good to me.” you agreed. So without a further word uttered, the both of you walked and met up in between the two titans, although it was more in front of them and not directly in the center of them both. The section commander walked up to your right side as she addressed them, “Ok! Now, Al- er, uh, Sawney and Bean! I want you to turn away from us if you want to eat us, and continue looking at us if you don’t, ok?”

The unblinking stares of the titans continued, as unnerving as ever as you swore they dug into your soul. It wasn’t often, but every now and then you’d receive a good reminder as to why the titans were so terrifying, and not just because of the fact that they mercilessly devoured the majority of Humanity who had once been outside of the Walls. Perhaps it was the way that they just kept staring, rarely blinking as they smiled a toothy, gigantic grin. Or maybe it was due to the fact that they so closely resembled humans, and yet they typically had nothing in common with them aside from appearance, a more primitive side to Humanity you supposed. The both of them continued to look down at you, an insatiable hunger very apparent as you watched the blonde slowly lean in, eyes getting more and more excited as he attempted to bring his face closer to yours. You couldn’t stop staring in fear with widened eyes, being completely and utterly captivated in fear.

Then a snap was heard.

And even though he was still too far away to even make a real attempt at killing you, it still broke you out of your trance when his teeth sharply met in his mouth and caused chills to roll throughout your body. Currently being wide awake due to what just happened, you let out a shaky laugh with a slight step backwards, “I think it’s safe to say that they aren’t going to talk to us like that anytime soon, huh?”

“It seems so,” she said with a small frown, yet a determined shade of sepia coloured her eyes, “We still have one more try though, as unlikely as it is. Writing.”

Looking down to Beans hands, you could see that he could barely move his fingers, but that it was still possible, and glancing over to Sawney only told you that it was the same with him, although he had a better angle with his hands given that he was sitting up. Instead of the brunette to your side telling them what they needed to do, you spoke up in her place, “Ok guys! Try to write on the ground with your fingers!”

Neither of them, for the third time this day, did anything that seemed to indicate they understood you or -if they did- wanted to talk to you. “We'll free your arms more if you do! I promise you guys!” Hanji encouraged, trying -and ultimately failing- to bribe the titans into doing what she wanted.

Regardless of your seemingly lack of progress with them, you both stood there in silence as you waited for them to possibly make a move, But yet again, nothing happened, save for a few more tries of Sawney to move his mouth close enough to eat either one of you once again, “Hanji, I don’t think they’re going to do anything.” you admitted, not turning your face away from Sawney but shifting your (E/C) eyes to look at her, “If I’m going to be honest, I don’t think so either. But I still have hopes that we’ll find one someday, y’know?”

“Me too.”

“Section commander, captain, if you’re finished, would you like for us to start setting up the curtains?” Moblit asked, once again using your title, ‘ _Ever since Eren accidentally transformed to pick up that teaspoon he has refused to call me (Y/N) again. I’m not quite sure what I did, but maybe one day I’ll be able to get him to drop the title again._ ’

“Yes please, Moblit.” Hanji responded with twinkling eyes, and as soon as the man left and started ordering her soldiers around to set everything up, you turned your attention to her, “We’re doing this to see how long it takes them to fall asleep, right?”

“Precisely, we wanted to see if the amount of time it takes for a titan to fall asleep falls in line with how big they are, remember? I think we thought of it when testing on Albert and Chicacchironi…” she trailed off, looking up at the morning sky and the clouds that blew with it as she partially got lost in thought. “Yeah, that seems about right.” you agreed, now looking up at the sky as well, but not being able to help the small glances you stole from her as you both waited for the curtains to be set up.

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“You have everything you need, right?” Moblit asked, looking between the both of you and the lanterns you both held, the three of you standing outside of the miniature and temporary tents that were just set up around the giants -Bean's has to be slightly readjusted so it fit him properly. Slightly swinging the lantern in your dominant hand, you brought your free hand up to your breast pocket and patted it, “Yup, I’ve got my journal and light.” Even though Sawney had woken you up before, as the fear he had induced slowly wore off you grew more and more sleepy as you recovered.

“Hey (Y/N), do you know where Moblit went?”

‘ _Huh?_ ’ You rose a brow at the lady, glancing at Moblit -who you shared a confused glance with- and then her once or twice before wondering if your lack of sleep was now causing hallucinations. Opening your mouth to speak, you stopped yourself as Hanji spoke up again, “Because I’m almost certain that that’s Mother Moblit in front of us.”

‘ _I- What? What is she… Oh._ ’ you thought as it dawned on you, and despite how you knew she could do much better, you still couldn’t help your reaction.

You let out a snort at her comment with your hand applied to your mouth, while Moblit just let out a small and quiet annoyed groan, running his right hand from the top of his face to the bottom of it as if to help him process what the section commander had just said -and despite how distressed he looked, that smile that was always present when he was called the name was present. Looking over to Hanji showed her holding her arms against her stomach as she hugged herself, slightly bent over at his -and quite possibly your- reaction with a bright, toothy grin plastered on her face. Lightly bumping your shoulder with her own as she stood up straight again, she spoke up with a few giggles and fixed her glasses with a pointed finger, “Oh c’mon Moblit, it wasn’t _that_ bad, was it?”

Although Moblit’s response wasn’t verbal, the partially pointed look he gave the section commander with a raised eyebrow clearly communicated how he felt to her, only causing you to let out another small and petite chuckle, “Okok, geez, maybe to _some people_ it was that bad,” she defended with raised hands as if to calm the male, “But yes, I do have everything necessary.”

He let out a sigh, not bothering to speak aloud any questions he may still have and took a step back, “Then please, Section Commander Hanji and Captain (Y/N), go ahead.” The man then turned around and started making his way over to where the rest of Hanji’s squad stood on guard, further back than the three of you had been from the titans who were just put underneath the makeshift tents. “See you in a bit?” Hanji asked as she now turned to you, wanting to double check that you had everything you needed before you both parted ways, “Yup, see you soon Hanji.” Giving her a slight wave, you tore yourself away from her as you both set out to do what you came here to do; test how long it will take for Bean and Sawney to fall asleep due to lack of sunlight.

Once you finally reached the covering, you gently grasped the soft fabric in your fingers tiredly, holding your left arm out with the lantern in it and only pushing your body inside about halfway before sneaking one last glance at Hanji -but the girl was already gone. With a slight frown you shook your head, ‘ _Calm down, she’s just doing what you came here to do._ ’ Now fully entering the tent, you observed the slight glare produced by your warm light on Sawney’s cerulean orbs as you plopped yourself onto the ground, “Not tired yet…, huh?” you started with a yawn while listening to the sound the lantern made when it made contact with the ground -a nice _clink_ sound as metal hit stone- opening your mouth wide and squinting your eyes as sleepiness over took you. From outside the tent you could hear a voice call out, “11:26!”

‘ _Gah, I almost forgot about writing down the start time!_ ’ you thought to yourself, hastily picking out your journal out from your jacket’s pocket and ignoring the loud intakes of air from Sawney as he carefully watched each and every move you made. With your pencil that was slightly dulled -you had forgotten to resharpen it last time you had used it- you scribbled down the time a few lines down from the top of a new page, then writing down some more information above it -including the titan’s name, the date and other information regarding the experiment. When you had finally etched everything you wanted -and needed to- onto the paper, you let out a sigh and allowed yourself to lay down with your arms propping you up, your body feeling too sluggish to waste its energy sitting or standing up, ‘ _It won’t hurt to lay down for a little bit, and besides, this shouldn’t take too long if, like it was with Chica and Albert before, the smaller the titan, the shorter the time it takes for them to fall asleep. If that_ is _the case, it shouldn't be that much longer than Chica’s time, given that Sawney is only about a meter taller._ ’

You flipped your pencil in your hand a few times before placing it in between the two pages of your journal that it was currently open to, flashing bored eyes over to it as you slowly blinked, ‘ _Well, here’s the part where I start watching him I suppose._ ’ The titan’s eyes remained unblinking as he stared you down, and despite the fact that you were alone in the tent, you found his stare having a lesser effect on you fear-wise than before, ‘ _That’s good I suppose. I’m not quite sure what came over me before, it’s not like I usually get scared over them… at least when they’re contained._ ’ Resting your head in your arms -using them as a makeshift pillow- you scootched your body a little bit further from the giant, quietly studying the way how his mouth was slightly parted to facilitate breathing, and you mentally thanked the Walls that you couldn’t feel his warm breath pan out across your body, ‘ _Ew, that’s… Just disgusting. But I can’t help but wonder, do titans get bad breath? I mean, surely they have all kinds of bacteria growing in there, right?_ ’ You let out a barely audible hum to your own question as you mulled over the idea in your head, glancing up at Sawney’s deep blue eyes before closing your own (E/C) ones for a small bit, ‘ _What about Eren’s titan…?_ ’ you queried yourself with a stifled yawn, eyes watering the smallest bit at the sleep-inducing action, ‘ _I mean, it’s not like his titan has the time to gain… much bacteria… so…_ ’

“ᴺᵒ!” you scolded yourself in a mutter, trying to pry your eyes open as you slightly rocked yourself, hoping to win the battle against your own body, ‘ _I knew that staying up late last night was a bad idea, damn you (Y/N)!_ ’ Your eyelids felt like thousand pound weights, constantly pushing down against your wishes and eventually taking over your want to keep your eyes open, ‘ _Fine, fine. Eyes closed for now… But, as soon as I hear Sawney start breathing regularly…_ ’ Looking to the blonde beast, your eyes traced over the illuminated features of his face before you agreed to your body’s commands.

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“(Y/N)! C’mere!” You jolted up, eyes blinking once or twice as you drank in your surroundings, which were dimly lit by a single candle at your desk, the rest of the room blanketed in a dark and still slumber. Sitting at your desk, you could feel slight drool around your lips, causing you to hastily wipe them with your sleeve, darkening the (F/C) fabric greatly. A quick turn of your head downwards told you that there was incompleted paperwork at your desk, and a momentary glance at it told you that the documents you had _thought_ you had filled out hadn’t been completed at all, ‘ _The Walls damn it!_ ’

“(Y/NNNN),” you heard the voice whine, and soon remembering that someone in the room was calling for your attention, you directed your eyes where you thought it came from. There, less than a meter away from your left was Hanji, smiling brightly as a teasing grin broke out onto her face, “Did you fall asleep again?”

A faint heat could be felt on your cheeks, and you couldn’t help but tear your eyes away from the section commander’s out of embarrassment, “I- I guess so.”

The rain outside seemed to have caused a cozy feeling to settle in the pit of your stomach, although you weren’t completely sure if that sentiment was caused by the rain or the girl before you. A soft and melodic chuckle sung past her lips, captivating you in it’s beauty as you tiredly stared at the woman; she had her glasses on, and no goggles were to be found on her head, indicating to you that she hadn’t been doing any physical titan work recently. Her hair was styled in it’s usual fashion, a messy oaken ponytail with even messier offshoots that you could only see fitting her properly. But what took you in the most was her eyes, those soft and sweet pools of a dark chocolate that only entranced you further with the intensity of their gaze. “Y’know (Y/N), it’s rude to stare at people.” she said just above a whisper, the small clicks of her boots amplified in mostly dormant room as she closed the distance between you and herself, a slight eyebrow raised at you as if curious as to why you were staring at her, yet there was this tiny hint of understanding within them that made you think that it wasn’t curiosity you were sensing, but rather something akin to it that you couldn’t comprehend. If you weren’t sure if you were blushing before, you were sure that you were now, “I-I’m sorry, I d-don’t know what-” your breath hitched as she put a cool finger beneath your chin, “I know you like me.”

You could feel adrenaline rushing throughout your veins at her words, body freezing as you became unsure on what to do, “What are y-you talking about?” you cursed yourself for your stutter as you refused to meet your eyes to hers, trying to pull your head away from her gentle touch but not being able to will yourself to do so, “You must not be as slick as you thought you were, (L/N).” she spoke with a smirk, bringing her lips to your ear as you felt her breath play on your skin, “But luckily for you, the feelings are mutual.”

At this rate, you swore all the blood rushing to your cheeks was going to cause you to become lightheaded.

‘ _I- WHAT?! Nonononononononono, calm down! This is what you wanted, and she- She really?- I- Since when did she get so confident, this doesn’t- Huh?!_ ’ She pulled herself away from the side of your face as a curve formed again on her lips, “You’re so cute when you’re flustered, y’know that?”

Wanting to hide your face, you couldn’t help but hug the woman in front of you, burying your face into her shoulder as you squeezed her tight, overjoyed by the seemingly returned affections, “M mm m mm mmm.” You could feel her slender arms wrap around you, sending chills throughout your body as she gave you what you had wanted for a long time, holding you close to her as she soothingly ran her fingers through your hair, ‘ _I can’t believe this is really happening…_ ’

“Me too (Y/N),” you could feel yourself lean into her even more when a gentle rumble ran across her chest as she agreed with a chuckle, despite not being completely sure what you said -something you deduced from her playful and jesting tone, “Me too.”

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Hanji had to do a double take at the titan, squinting her eyes to make sure she was seeing what she actually was seeing. She couldn’t help but be the smallest bit perplexed that Bean had just fallen asleep, the woman could only assume that your titan hadn’t fallen asleep yet -given that her sensitive ears hadn’t heard you say anything, let alone the rustling of fabric that would indicate you leaving your tent- and on top of that Albert had stay up for a shorter amount of time than Bean had. Letting out a small sigh, she whispered to the sleeping mammoth aloud, “ʸᵒᵘ ᵗⁱᵗᵃⁿˢ ʲᵘˢᵗ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ᵉᵃˢʸ ᵒʳ ᶜᵒⁿˢⁱˢᵗᵉⁿᵗ, ʰᵘʰ?” She quietly moved her body so she could stand up, unraveling her limbs from their folded position and stretching her body with a satisfying pop. Then she picked up her belongings -namely her journal, pencil and lantern- before exiting the small tent, but not before giving a wave to the seven meter titan that he wouldn’t see.

“Hey Moblit…!” she let out a miniscule shout, doing her best to grab the male’s attention and not either of the titan’s, “What time is it?”

Instead of receiving a verbal response like she expected, the man held up his hands after pulling out his pocket watch and taking a glance -first holding up one finger, then three, then four, then four once again- and it took her little time to understand what he was doing, so without more than a tiny snort and appreciative nod, she carefully put her light on the ground and wrote down the necessary information in her field journal, _13:44_. Then -seeing as Moblit was playing some form of charades- she pointed to the tent that you were in and raised an eyebrow, trying to ask something along the lines of, ‘ _What’s going on with her?_ ’

Whether he had understood the lady or simply didn’t know what she was asking, he simply raised his shoulders to imply his cluelessness. Hanji then turned her attention to your tent, hearing nothing that seemed out of the ordinary and soon after coming to the conclusion that she should at least check up on you, just to make sure that everything was running smoothly -she even supposed that she could probably join you if Sawney was still awake. So, soundlessly making her way over she clasped her grip against part of the fabric flap and opened it just enough for her to get in, not bothering to take her lantern because she knew you had your own in the tent. The first thing she saw when she entered was Sawney, the humongous beast sitting still with partially lidded eyes, the effect of being out of the sunlight clearly having its effects on the giant as he continued to sit still and watch the section commander enter the tent. The next thing she saw was you, slightly curled into yourself and snoozing away, and at the sight she didn’t even try to fight off the growing smile. Taking the few small steps it was to get to your side, she slipped her right arm out of her jacket sleeve before doing the same with the other, then proceeding to take her tan leather jacket and slowly place it on your sleeping form to ensure that you’d be warm enough to sleep, “ᴼᶠ ᶜᵒᵘʳˢᵉ ˢʰᵉ ᶠᵉˡˡ ᵃˢˡᵉᵉᵖ…”

Kneeling down not too far away from you, she looked at the way you looked at ease, the usual smile she typically found present gone from your face, yet something about it just screamed ‘peaceful’ to the maroon haired girl.

“ **Hmmmmmmmm**.” the titan let out a surprisingly quiet sound, still giving the ground a gentle rattle and loud and strong enough to capture the section commander’s attention once more -yet most definitely not as loud as the beast could’ve let out, “ᴸᵉᵗ'ˢ ˢᵉᵉ ʰᵒʷ ˡᵒⁿᵍ ⁱᵗ ᵗᵃᵏᵉˢ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗᵒ ᶠᵃˡˡ ᵃˢˡᵉᵉᵖ, ʰᵘʰ ˢᵃʷⁿᵉʸ?”

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You unknowingly let out a yawn, slightly shifting in your slumber as the section commander pondered over waking you up. On one hand she could let you sleep and make sure that you wouldn’t be tired for the journey over to Levi and his squad -something that she definitely knew you didn’t want to miss out on- but on the other she wasn’t sure what work you wanted to get done before leaving, if you even had any left. Pondering over her options with a slight and indecisive frown, she ended up not having to come to a conclusion as you slowly blinked your eyes open, sitting up ever so slowly and using your arms to push yourself up. After a moment you came to, and with slight panic you quickly looked over to Sawney, letting out a small, “ᶠᵘᶜᵏ.” at the fact that not you had actually fallen asleep and missed the time when Sawney had fallen asleep, but also that everything you had just experienced had been a dream, ‘ _At least my paperwork is actually done I guess… Although I honestly would prefer to have to do that paperwork over ten times if it meant that Hanji felt the same._ ’ You were about to get up when you heard a voice respond in a whisper, “Is everything ok?”

You jumped away from the unexpected sound in fright, partially raising a fist to defend yourself until you realized that it was only Hanji, “Geez, I- I think you scared me half to death there.” After a pause and a small chuckle from the girl, you remembered why she had asked what she did however, “I’m sorry, but I think I… well, I kinda fell asleep before Sawney did…”

“Don’t worry about it, I came in before he was asleep. He did so about a minute or two ago, I believe.” the section commander’s face was barely lit in the warm orange hue the lantern produced, highlighting her cheekbones nicely -and while you did notice that, you first noticed that she donned only her pale yellow blouse on her torso, missing the usual assigned jacket that all members of the Survey Corps -any branch in the military, really- wore, “Thank you, I’m better now, I guess I was just… y’know, tired.” you let out with a small and guilty giggle that you hid behind a hand, “But where’s your jacket? Is it really that hot in here?”

As you asked the question you put your hand out into the air, holding it to feel the temperature of the room, ‘ _I don’t think it feels too hot in here, but then again, who knows. I did just wake up after all._ ’ Hanji shook her head with a slight smile, replying to your question as she put her hands on her knees and stood up, “Nah, it’s not that bad. I just gave you my jacket so then you wouldn’t wake up from being cold,” she admitted, only quickly tacking on more to her sentence while shaking her hands after she seemed to realize something, “Y’know,becauseyourbodylosesheatwhenyoursleeping!” Looking behind you, you realised that her jacket was in fact on the ground, and you couldn’t help the blush that fell onto your face at her care towards you -and never in your life had you been so thankful for the cover of darkness to hide your cheeks, “Thank you Hanji.”

At your gratitude she seemed to calm down once again, “It was no problem, (Y/N). Just glad to see you energized again.” she said with a tiny laugh, sending you a smile that you wished she would forever wear upon her lips as she held out a hand to help you up, ‘ _She really is adorable when she smiles, too precious and wholesome for this world._ ’

Accepting her help, you pushed with your legs and pulled with your arms as she did the same, the both of you effectively working together to get you up and on your feet once more, “Thanks.” you said to the girl, giving her a thankful nod of your head as you picked up her jacket for her, soon after giving it to said woman -who put it on immediately, “No problem, thank _you_.” she stressed at the end, thanking you for giving her her jacket from off of the ground. Deciding to copy her, you used her exact words in a teasing manner, “ _No problem._ ’ The two of you let out a chuckle, both in a good mood and happy that everything had gone smoothly, ‘ _Everything’s been going smoothly lately, it’s almost as if not everything in the world is against Humanity._ ’

Finally exiting the tent, your eyes squinted at the bright light the June sun gave to Humanity, “Section commander, captain, is he sleeping?”

“Yup!” Hanji let out, the lantern that was held in her hand soon set down on the ground as she pulled out her journal and pencil, “What time is it?”

“About…” he trailed off as he -for the third time that day- pulled out his miniature clock that was housed in his breath pocket, “15:02.” Your eyebrows shot up at this, “So it took longer for Sawney to fall asleep than Albert?”

“It seems so,” the female to your side said in an answer, trying her best to write in her notebook that was held in her hand, “He stayed up longer than Bean, too.”

“But how is that possible? Unless the amount of time it takes for a titan to fall asleep isn’t consistent?” you said in a raised tone, query only becoming more apparent with your confused face.

“It would seem that’s the case,” Hanji said as she shut her field journal with a snap, soon after putting it back where it belongs in her one pocket, pencil slipping in afterwards, “Unless it’s usually one way -either the smaller or bigger they are the shorter they stay up out of sunlight,” she gave examples with two gestures of her hands -one for each point- before continuing with her original thought, “And some of our testing titans were _or_ are abnormal.”

‘ _I suppose that makes sense. Once again, this seems to be another point that makes humans more like titans in a sense, not as if the sun keeps us up but as in we don’t all go to sleep at the same time. Although I’m sure one could argue that the sun does in fact keep humans up, but I’m almost certain that Hanji and Levi prove that statement otherwise. The Walls,_ I _could probably even serve as an example to the fact that the sun isn’t necessary for humans to stay awake like titans, with my messed up sleep schedule and such._ ’ Meeting your eyes with Hanji’s, you had a sudden flashback to the dream you just had, how her eyes look so similar to her fabricated ones in your dream with the way they were swarmed with curiosity that you had to blink once or twice, ‘ _Damn it, not now! Focus!_ ’

Your cleared your head before speaking up, glancing at Moblit more often than you probably should’ve just to try and prove -to who, you weren’t sure- that you weren’t staring at Hanji, “I don’t think that Sawney or Bean are abnormal, I mean, they don't act like it. Have you seen anything to indicate otherwise?”

“Nah,” the section commander started, “Same with Albert and Chicacchironi. I just wanted to put the thought out there, y’know?”

“Yeah, I getcha.” you said in a reply, “Oh! And I’ve been meaning to ask, Hanji, what time do you plan on leaving for where Levi and his squad are?”

“Eh, as soon as possible preferably, so probably an hour before the turn of day. Does that sound good?”

“Sounds good to me,” you answered simply with a smile. “Good, then Moblit, would you please order my squad to take those makeshift tents down? (Y/N) and I,” she said with a glance towards you, “Are going to go come up with things to test on Eren Jaeger for tomorrow, if she’d like to of course.” Moblit left with a determined nod and a curt, “Yes, Section Commander Hanji.” leaving you with the brunette who was indirectly asking if you’d like to come up with experimentations tomorrow, “Of course, Hanji. Your room or mine?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya!! I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter, and that everyone's having a spectacular week! 💜
> 
> Updated a little bit before 18 November, 2020!


	27. 27║⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰ and ⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰

**Sunday, June 2, 850 at 00:38**

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“So they don’t know what the name of this castle is, Hanji?” you inquired, glancing to the woman with your (E/C) spheres as you slightly jostled on your horse, Chestnut.

At your query the brunette looked over to you, giving a shake of her head as she acknowledged your words, “Nope, it’s been abandoned for so long. And to add onto that, there weren’t any records of this place either; nothing of who built it, who’s lived here before, how long it’s been here… Nothing.” Scrunching your brows, you looked back at the castle in the distance, now only a good 50 meters away or so. Currently you, Hanji and Moblit were heading over to where Levi and the Special Operations Squad were, despite it being only -as you guessed based on the position of the moon among the stars on this cloud-free night- mere minutes into the day. The trail the three of you were riding on was an overall flat -yet overgrown with a few weeds, which indicated that it hadn’t really been used so much as of late- pathway through the forest you all had to traverse through to get to your location, and going back maybe fifty or a hundred years, you could see this once being a busy route, given how wide it was and all of the offshoots sprouting from it. Hanji rode to your left, and despite the space that was open on your right side, Moblit favoured riding behind the both of you, ‘ _Probably to keep a better watch on the both of us, who knows what kind of mess we’ll get ourselves dragged into next. That, and he’s also leading another horse with our luggage on it._ ’ you reasoned, almost sparing a glance to your hips once you recalled that said creature was carrying your 3DMG, ‘ _It gets annoying from time to time, and I don’t need to wear it yet, so why bother? I’ll just put it on before testing later._ ’

“That’s strange.” you admitted, eyes tracing the outline of the grey fortress that, as you could only guess based on the colour, was made out of some type of stone as you shifted a torch in your non-dominant hand, “Yeah, but hey, it made the perfect place for Erwin to hide Eren, so I suppose that’s a plus.”

You wordlessly gave the woman a nod of agreement, a slight grin able to be found on your face, ‘ _I’m glad I’ll be able to see Levi’s squad again so soon, I already kinda miss them. I hope we’ll have time tomorrow to talk a little before we leave._ ’ Before you knew it, the dull sound of Chestnut's hooves padding on the dirt floor soon morphed into a more sharp and curt click as your mare started trotting on the stone pathway right outside of the castle’s entrance, “That didn’t take that long,” you noted aloud to the two people you were with as all three of you started to get off of your horses. “No, not at all,” Hanji agreed, and Moblit even let out a, “Quicker than I had expected.” to add onto the conversation. With your feet now back on the ground, you stretched out your legs a little, seeing that you had just ridden for the past hour or so before turning to Hanji, “Where do we tie them up for the night?” you asked, glancing around, “Is there a stable nearby?”

“To be completely honest with you (Y/N), I’m not sure.” she said before letting out a modest chuckle, “Hey uh, Moblit…?”

The male, who had worked with Hanji even longer than you had, only let out a small sigh, “I’m on it, section commander. I’ll bring your baggage to the upstairs bedrooms as well.”

She gave him a bright smile, “Thank you! As soon as you’re done, feel free picking out a vacant room for the night to sleep in.”

‘ _The Walls know he deserves it._ ’ you thought to yourself as the caramel headed soldier started leading his horse away first -given that it was the closest to him- to a random direction where he believed the stables were after bringing the one he had to lead with him to you and Hanji’s mares, ‘ _I’m sure he’ll find it, and if he can’t I’m sure he’ll come inside and ask Levi or someone else who does know._ ’

Grabbing onto and slightly tugging your jacket’s sleeve, the mahogany eyed woman captured your attention, “C’mon, let’s go in and say hi!” And with that the both of you entered in through the -slightly worn- wooden door, you being careful not to get any splinters from the few sharp and jagged points that branched the main body of the boards as you closed it behind you, Hanji having entered first. Seeing a nearby set of stairs and hearing some light chatter seemingly coming from above, the both of you started to make your way upwards, slowly getting closer to the familiar voices, “How do you think he’ll react?” the woman climbing the stairs slightly in front of you asked. The two of you not too long ago had planned out what you wanted to experiment on the young shifter together, eventually deciding on first seeing how he acted normally in his titan form, then testing how strong he was in comparison to other titans -based on general observation- and lastly seeing how long he was able to stay in his titan form with the time that you were allotted, all while trying to get him to speak. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m not completely sure,” you confessed, answering Hanji’s question that you assumed referred to the first experiment -or rather, just an observation you were going to make about the boy- you planned on doing once the sun came up, “But hopefully he’s able to control himself. There aren’t many wells here,” you jested as you reached the top of the stairs, letting out a snicker behind your dominant hand as the girl you were with let out a snort, “That might not even be a problem, everything goes off of if he can get himself to transform or not.”

“True, true.” you agreed, looking down the hallway and seeing some light coming from underneath a door, “They’re probably in there.” you informed with a pointed finger.

“ _No_ , really?” she asked as she carved a grin on her features, a slight twinkle in her eyes that you wished you could forever receive from her. You only sent a jovial glare to the woman, rolling your eyes as you pretended to get annoyed with her response, “Whatever. You’re still the same old meanie.”

“Ouch, you sure know how to hit ‘em hard,” she said as the both of you reached outside of the door, and your only answer was the elbow to her side -which only produced a laugh from said girl. She went to open the door, turning the handle with her right hand and leaning forwards with her body to facilitate opening it. Or at least it was supposed to. Instead of opening the wooden barrier as she had planned on doing, she ended up face planting with it instead, given that the door was either seemingly locked, or opened the other way. Barking out a laugh, the girl to your side went a bright red, a sheepish smile on her face as she heard someone from the inside scrape the legs of a chair on the ground as they presumably got up from their seat, “Nice going there, Hanji.”

“Oh be quiet.” she said, although she seemed to gain back her usual persona, given that she soon let out a small chuckle to accompany your own laughter. The door that had made trouble for Hanji was soon opened, the strawberry blonde bob of hair that belonged to Petra partially hiding behind the assembled boards and giving the both of you a smile, “Welcome.”

“Thank you, Petra,” Hanji said as she walked past said girl and door, eyes already fixated on Eren, who was sitting at a table not too far off. You however stopped to give the girl a quick hug, “Hey, it’s nice to see you again so soon,” you said with a turn of your lips. The soldier squeezed you tight before releasing you, a similar grin able to be found on her face, “Likewise, I’m glad it didn’t take you a month this time.” she teased.

“Oh, you know that I couldn’t help that,” your whispered reply came with slightly rolled eyes, “Maybe, but I also know that if you could’ve, you wouldn’t have changed a thing.” Petra shot back, knowing of your love to find out more about that titans, ‘ _At least I think that’s what she’s referencing, I_ know _I haven’t told her how I feel about Hanji yet._ ’ you thought, ‘ _I mean, I’m not_ that _obvious, am I?_ ’

Despite the room only being lit by candles, the warm light that came from them was all but dim, brightly colouring the room with an orange hue. There was a single table about a few meters away from the door, with eight chairs surrounding it in total -Levi sat at one end with his back to the entrance, his usual cup of partially steaming tea held tight in his odd fashion, and Gunther sat to his right, Eld to his left. To Gunther’s right sat Oluo, and to Eld’s left was Petra, and lastly your eyes landed on Eren, who sat at Oluo’s free side with Hanji to his right already, ‘ _I knew she was excited, but dang, that was quick. Or maybe I just took long…? Eh, it doesn’t really matter that much._ ’

“I can’t wait to tell you all about the experiments we’ve planned!” Hanji said with a slightly crazed look, determined and excited eyes boring themselves into Eren’s turquoise hues that were open wide in a slight fear as he backed away slightly, “H-Huh? What do you mean?”

“Oh? Levi didn’t tell you?” the section commander quizzed with a raised eyebrow, “Well, later today we’re going to perform experiments on you; like seeing how you act as a titan, how strong you-”

“Oi, shitty glasses, you’re only going to freak the brat out if you say it like that.” Levi critiqued, watching the scene play out from his chair as he took a sip of tea.

“Ah, my bad. Sorry Eren,” she half-heartedly apologized while scratching the back of her neck, “We’re not going to do anything bad though, I mean, Sawney and Bean are still alive, aren’t they?” she reassured while looking back at you, you soon giving a confirming nod to the girl. The fifteen year old scrunched his face up, confusion easily read on his face, “Sawney and Bean? Are there more shifters?”

You let out a snicker, although you wouldn’t deny that the thought of having not only one, but _three_ shifters up for testing sounded more than ideal, “Nah, just you. Hanji and I,” you said, jabbing a thumb in her direction, “Use the two titans Sawney and Bean for experiments.”

“Experiments? What kind of experiments?”

As soon as the words slipped past his mouth, you could feel the air grow tense. Oluo, at Eren’s left side, quickly shoved his elbow into Eren’s ribcage, hoping to make him quiet down about what he was saying, “ᴰᵒⁿ'ᵗ ˢᵃʸ ᵗʰᵃᵗ!” The teen looked to the male partially disturbed from the sudden act -but also with a hint of worry casted deep within his spheres- and if you could guess what he was thinking right now, it would be something along the lines of, ‘ _Why is everyone acting different right now and why shouldn’t I say that?_ ’

The section commander who partly received the query, as it was directed to both you and Hanji, was completely oblivious -or perhaps she chose to ignore their reactions- to the way everyone acted as she spoke to the boy, “Ah… I knew it! I thought you looked curious.” As soon as the words passed her lips, the screeching of multiple chairs hit your ears as the people who were sitting on them abruptly stood up, everyone besides you, Hanji and Eren starting to leave the room. And while you gave a wave to those who were leaving, at least acknowledging them, the woman who-was-talking-to-Eren’s face lit up as she seemed to be absorbed in her own world. As the last person to leave closed the door, Hanji didn’t take her eyes off of him as she sat across from him, you soon sitting on a chair to her right as she spoke up, “Well, if you want to know that badly, who are we to keep it from you?”

Seeing her very apparent excitement to recant the short story of Sawney and Bean -given as you both have had them for less than a month- you decided that you would let her do the majority of the talking. That, and you were sure that your tongue would get sore from all of that speaking.

“For starters, Bean and Sawney aren’t the first titans we’ve successfully captured. But for now, we’ll just focus on Sawney and Bean, ok?” she asked, although based on the fact that she didn’t leave a long enough pause for the male to give any input, it was clear she had only said it out of courtesy, “The first thing we did with Sawney and Bean was record their measurements. Now, one may not truly consider this an experiment, however it still plays a vital role in the experimentation process, ᵐᵃᵗᵗᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ᶠᵃᶜᵗ, ʷᵉ’ˡˡ ᵖʳᵒᵇᵃᵇˡʸ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵗʳʸ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵐᵉᵃˢᵘʳᵉ ᵈᵒʷⁿ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵗⁱᵗᵃⁿ ˡⁱᵐᵇˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ˢᵘᶜʰ ˡᵃᵗᵉʳ…” The soldier partially trailed off before she shook her head, her burgundy tresses swishing around her head slightly as she zoned herself back in, “Anyways! After their measurements were written down, the next thing we tried with them was communication. Unfortunately, no matter what method we use to try and get something out of them, all attempts end up with no positive results; we’ve tried speaking, signalling communication -like asking them to look one way for yes and/or no- and even writing, despite how unlikely even I’ll admit it seems. After those tests once again came up with no results, we tried something that we knew we we’re going to get some sort of results from: depriving the titans of sunlight.”

She clasped her hands together as she said the last sentence, trying to add onto her words, “Speaking of, you were taught that titans get their energy from sunlight, right? I believe it was added into your curriculum…” With a confirming nod from Eren, she continued, looking over to you and gesturing her right hand your way, “Well, (Y/N) over here is the only reason that we know that, using that big brain of hers.” You silently cursed yourself as you felt your cheeks heat up, letting out a small chuckle as Hanji laughed at your reaction, “She can be rather modest at times…, But…! Getting back on track, it was earlier today that we tested on Bean and Sawney to see how long it takes for them to fall asleep. For Bean, it took him not too long, a little shorter than two and a half hours, and for Sawney, about four in total. Based on our previous experiments regarding how long it takes for them to sleep, we assumed that the smaller the titan, the shorter amount of time it took for them to fall asleep once out of the sunlight. But with these new results, we both concluded that the amount of time it takes for a titan to fall asleep actually varies from titan to titan, and that each individual one has their own limit.”

The woman looked down at her hands that were resting on the table, lost in thought as she partly stared out into oblivion. To anyone taking a gander at her, it was obvious that she was replaying the events that she had just explained in her head, “Although we did consider the possibility that Sawney and Bean are perhaps abnormal titans, nothing strongly suggests that.” There was a silence that overtook the small, stone-brick room where both Eren and Hanji seemed to be lost in their thoughts, you included, ‘ _I really still do wonder if Eren has a certain limit to how long he can stay up. In his titan form I mean, I doubt that he wouldn’t be able to stay awake as a human, but as a titan…? There truly is no telling, given that his body seems to act just like a titan’s would._ ’

“Section Commander Hanji, Captain (Y/N),” Eren started as his voice broke throughout the atmosphere, “If you don’t mind, I’d like to hear more about your experiments.”

Her head turned upwards immediately, a look of pure shock splattered across her face as a smile grew upon yours, “Hm, really?” “Honestly?”

He glanced between the both of you as he responded, “If nothing else, I should probably be well informed for the sake of tomorrow’s experiment.”

“R-Right. True, I did leave out a lot in my explanation…” Then meeting her eyes with yours, she wordlessly asked if you wanted to explain everything to him with her. The curve of your lips only deepened as you nodded your head, a spark of excitement able to be found in your and Hanji’s eyes. She turned back to Eren, a newfound enthusiasm present in her voice, “Ok, let’s get into the nitty-gritty, starting with the very first titan I -we, really- experimented on, Leslie. Although, we might be here a while…”

**Sunday, June 2, 850 at 05:39**

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**

“Ok, so you can see why it’s important for us to record that now, right?” you asked, looking to Eren and making sure that he was following along with what you and the section commander were telling him. Oblivious to the both of you, his face had clearly lost most of the interest and determination it once held -something you would normally be more astute about, but given how long you had been going at it, it went completely over your head, “...ʸᵉˢ, ᶜᵃᵖᵗᵃⁱⁿ...”

“Good!” Hanji jumped in, “Then let’s show him Albert and Chicacchironi’s measurements, and compare them with him so he can see how much they really vary.” Said girl dug her hand in her breast pocket, whipping out her field journal and flipping through the pages to reach the one she was searching for, you soon reaching your hand into your own pocket to do the same. There was only one problem with that though, ‘ _The Walls… I forgot my journal back over near Sawney and Bean… How could I have forgotten something as important as my journal, no wait, how have I not realized it was missing until just_ now _??_ ’

You froze, silently berating yourself for not remembering something as important as your journal, “(Y/N)? Are you ok?” came the sweet voice of Hanji, already having her journal turned towards the male across from her as she waited for you to get your matching one out as well. Coughing into your elbow, you let out a guilty chuckle, “Heh, well, you see…”

“...you don’t have your journal, do you?” she said as she cracked a grin, apparently finding it humorous that you seemingly forgot it, “And you’re the one always going on about me remembering things.”

Feeling the heat rush to your face from embarrassment, you let out a scoff and rolled your eyes -all in goodwill, however- as you addressed Eren, “Where’re the stalls Eren?”

“ᴴ⁻ᴴᵘʰ...?” he started as he blinked open his eyes, ‘ _Wait did he actually fall asleep…?_ ’ If the boy did, he soon fully awoke himself as he gave his head a quick and sharp shake, “Th-There to the left of the entrance when walking out of the building, captain!” Resisting the urge to laugh at Eren, you thanked him as you stood up, “Thank you, Eren. I’ll be right back, I’m going to need it for experimentation in a little bit anyways.”

Hanji connected her burnt spheres to yours through her glasses, “Do you want to take Moblit or I with you? I can only assume that you’re going to go get it.”

“Nah, we should let him do what he wants for a little, he’s been working non-stop it seems recently,” you noted aloud in concern for your one friend, “And you’re explaining things to Eren right now. Besides, I’ll be fine going by myself.” At first it seemed as if she was a tad bit disappointed in your response, but you supposed that she preferred recanting the stories of titan testing with a bigger audience, “If you say so (Y/N), be back soon?”

“Of course Hanji.” You then turned around, headed to the door and opened it before taking a moment’s glance back, “You two have fun.” Right before you heard a click sounding from the door -signalling to you that the barrier was in fact closed all the way- Hanji’s voice slipped through the crack and fell into your ears, “You too!”

Your face broke into a grin, not being able to help the way your face reacted when the woman did the simplest of things, ‘ _I have it really bad for her, don’t I?_ ’ you inquired no one but yourself, walking down the hallway and stairs and eventually making it out the front door. Now that it was day time, you didn’t need a lantern inside or outside the building, given as the adequate amount of windows provided more than enough sunlight for you to see -including the stables that were in fact to your left, a good fifty meters or so away that was easily able to be seen in plain daylight. Moblit had -like he was ordered to- put the horses in proper stalls, and it took you less than a second to find where your horse was, “Hey girl, how’d you sleep?” you asked the mare while holding your palm out flat to her.

She let out a small whiney as she looked at you, gently brushing into your palm as she greeted you, “I’ll take that as a good sign,” you said with a chuckle, “Now c’mon, we need to get back to HQ for a little bit.”

\----------------------------------------------------------

‘ _That wasn’t so bad._ ’ you told yourself as you slowed Chestnut down to a comfortable trot, ‘ _That seemed to have taken no time at all once again, actually._ ’ Reaching the entrance to the titan-testing area, you rode past it a little and to a post where you could easily tie up your loyal companion, “I’ll be right…” you trailed off as you heard the use of gas reach your ears, undoubtedly from 3DMG, ‘ _One doesn’t forget that sound easily, but what are the soldiers doing using gas? Either Sawney and Bean have gotten loose, or they’re fooling around. And based on the lack of stomping, I can only guess that they’re not focused right now._ ’

“ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ᵂᵃˡˡˢ, ᴴᵃⁿʲⁱ ⁱˢ ᵍᵒⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ʰᵉᵃʳ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰⁱˢ…” With an annoyed look casted upon your face at the inappropriate immaturity -don’t get yourself wrong, you were all for having fun on the job, as long as it wasn’t for something as _serious_ as keeping Sawney and Bean contained- and a raised eyebrow, you made sure to keep the heels of your boots nearly silent as you approached the archway leading into the area, ‘ _I’m going to catch them in the act, that way I can be sure as to who was doing it._ ’

However, when you glanced past the archway, there were no soldiers that were set to guard the titans to be seen, ‘ _Odd. Maybe they’ve all moved from their positions?_ ’ Stepping through the arch though, you felt your breath catch in your throat.

_Slice._

Falling out of your trance for a second, you instinctively let out a, “Hey!” with your eyes widened and your jaw soon grew slack as you saw Sawney’s head fall downwards, soon hitting the ground as his cut neck gave out next to Bean’s corpse -that was already turning into thin air and bones.

 ** _Steam_**. There was so much _steam_.

Among all of it, there were two soldiers on the rooftop of a nearby building, of completely different heights, but there was one thing that united them both; the fact that they were wearing their Survey Corps capes in a way so that you couldn’t see their faces. And while you could feel the anxiety creeping up in your stomach just at the sight of them and the dead titans, it increased tenfold when they looked at each other, the shorter one nodding after their gaze met and using their gear to swing onto the ground and closer to you after their wordless conversation.

Your body screamed for you to take a step backwards -to do anything to gain distance between the oncoming threat and yourself- but you refused it’s wishes and kept your head held up high as they drew nearer, “Why would you do such a thing?” you asked with a glare, trying to discreetly observe them and try and gauge their strength and hand to hand combat skill, glaring where you thought their eyes were. They didn’t respond however -not verbally at least- instead choosing to tighten their grip on their handles as they continued to stare, seemingly waiting for your first move, ‘ _No wait, that can’t be it… They have gear, and they probably are guessing that they can easily take me out if they get the first hit, hell, maybe they can and I’m too confident in my skills as a Special Operations Squad member. But they must want to do this as inconspicuously as possible given that they’re hiding their faces and being quiet, and I bet they’re hoping I turn around and get help so they can escape!_ ’

You didn’t plan on getting help though, not while giving them a clear chance to high tail it out of there, “If you think you’re about to get out of here scot-free, you’re wrong.” you said as you prepared to attack, gritting your teeth as you angled your legs in a stance that would allow you to make the first move, ‘ _My strength is in offence, so I should try not to play de-_ ’ You cut off your thoughts as you leaned backwards and slid to your left with augmented eyes, their right blade swinging through the air and missing your body by mere inches. They then stopped for a moment after the end of the blade clinked on the ground sharply and precisely -the very end section of the blade chipping off from its body from the force- as if to say, ‘ _That was a warning, now_ back off.’ You didn’t let them stay like that for long however -your muscle memory from prior training overpowering conscious thought and making you act on pure instinct- as you quickly jumped into action before they could even fully give out their wordless threat spoken through squinted, hostile eyes, you crouching down and using your leg trying to sweep them to the ground with a strong kick to their legs, and planning on pouncing them if you knocked them over.

The hooded soldier jumped over it seemingly without much of a problem however, trying to take offence once again as you slammed your fist hard into their gut once you saw that they managed to stay on their feet, soon backing up that hit with another punch from your other hand a kick from your leg as well. The soldier stuttered backwards, rapidly regaining their stance after a second of curling over slightly, readying their blades again as they rolled their tensed shoulders, ‘ _They seem to be confident that they can hit me, and perhaps they’re right to be… But I can’t give up right now! Humanity needs traitors like these locked up!_ ’ This time there was another pause as neither of you made the move to attack, the pair of you both seeing that you underestimated your opponent as you reassessed the situation. No word was said, no move was made. All was still as you bore each other’s glares into the other, until finally the mystery person put their blades away cautiously and got into a stance that was quite different from ones you’ve seen before, ‘ _So they think they have better chances with a true hand to hand combat scenario than with blades? Interesting._ ’ They raised their right hand slightly in front of their face and their left one closer to their body, right leg slightly in front of them as well in a small bent position and left leg almost straight as they leaned their body back a little, ‘ _What in the name of the Walls…_ ’

They didn’t give you much time to think as they swung their leg towards your shoulder, causing you to slightly fly to the side and ultimately knocking you into the ground, causing you to roll the smallest bit once you harshly made contact with the hard yet smooth stone. You sat up onto your arms as you let out a cough, not seeing any splotches of red on the stones but rather tasting a slight and faint iron dancing on your tastebuds. You could hear them walking closer, now taking out their blades once again as they seemingly planned to kill you, ‘ _You bastard! I refuse to die here, not after all I’ve seen and done!_ ’ As soon as you could feel their presence close enough behind you, you turned around and lunged at them from the ground, surprising them enough to cause them to stumble. Then pushing hard with your legs on the ground, you fully springed yourself on them as you knocked them over, the both of you flying in the same direction as you landed on them, sliding on the ground from the force of the tumble. You pinned them to the ground, grabbing their wrists which still held the blades tightly, making sure that they couldn’t hurt you or themselves -you doubted they would turn this into a suicide mission, but you wanted to play it safe.

“Tell. Me. Who. You. _Are_!” you said with pauses, each time slamming their wrist down with your dominant hand into the hard stone ground and feeling a very sharp pain in your knuckles each time it happened due to the way you were holding their wrist.

They didn’t struggle as they seemed to be thinking of their next move, you trying to study their face to find out who was underneath the cape and ultimately letting out an annoyed growl once you saw that their face -and their identity- was completely concealed to you. ‘ _I don’t like being this violent, but they are a_ threat _. And soldiers take care of threats._ ’

“ ** _Now._** ” you growled out with one last _forceful_ slam of their wrist onto the ground, and as if they were complying to your unspoken wishes, they seemed to weakly let go of the handle like you wanted with a clatter of it to the ground. Taking advantage of this, you brought up your one knee to pin down their arm now, securing it underneath your kneecap and taking the handle of the blade to their gear in your dominant hand, holding it against their throat and pushing it enough to the point where traces of a dark and rich liquid coated it, “ _Talk._ I won’t hesitate to kill you.” you bluffed, knowing full well that you would feel absolutely terrible if you killed someone, even if they were an enemy, ‘ _Titans are different, they aren’t actually humans. Even if some have the ability to make me feel terrible over their death…_ ’

The handle to the blade was ripped out of your hand as you were thrown backwards once again, this time by the taller soldier that you had completely forgotten about, ‘ _The Walls damn you!_ ’ You did your best to hop back onto your feet, adrenaline rushing quick throughout your veins, but before you could even get on one foot the taller person pulled back their right fist and slammed it into the left side of your face, causing you to fall back down with lidded eyes, ‘ _I- H-Huh? What?_ ’ You hazily watched the one soldier offer a hand to the shorter one through delayed blinks, but instead of taking it like you would have expected from people who seemed to be partners, they refused the other’s help and stood on their own. It wasn’t long after that they both used their gear to get out of there, and it wasn’t long after you found out why. The clacking of soldier’s boots on the ground could be heard, and by the way that they were quickly getting louder, you could only assume that they were approaching, “Captain (Y/N)!”

‘ _I… failed. I failed._ ’

You looked out to who had called out for you, squinting your eyes as you tried -and this time succeeded in- sitting up, “Are you ok?!” Turning around with a small glare, you looked up to the soldier you didn’t recognize, “Where were you guys? You were supposed to be on guard duty.” Letting out a cough once again, this time you did see red splotches hit the stone-block floor -albeit quite faint and very few- and instead of feeling panic like you thought you normally would have, you could only feel more anger building up inside of you, ‘ _I know I’ll be fine, this is survivable. I’m bound to stop bleeding soon, and I’m certain that nothing is broken, maybe bruised,_ ’ you thought as you flexed the fingers on your dominant hand subconsciously, holding back a wince at the already stinging sensation, ‘ _But not broken. But who knows what route Humanity will go down now because Sawney and Bean were killed?!_ ’

“I-I’m sorry, w-we-”

You pushed yourself to stand, and you could feel everyone watching you as your eyes darkened in an almost uncharacteristically threatening way, “This better not happen again, those were _important specimens_ and with that one simple slip up, _the fate of Humanity could’ve just changed for the worst_.”

Slightly stumbling given that your entire body was sore from being thrown twice into the ground -and your head hurt like crazy after that punch to your head- you found your balance on your feet, meeting your eyes up to the multiple hues of the soldiers with partially narrowed eyes, “You guys,” you spoke with a pointed finger in the general direction of some soldiers, “Keep everyone not in the Survey Corps out of here, we don’t need anyone meddling with the scene.” A particular female gave a nod with a small bead of sweat resting on her brow, “Get to it then. And _don’t_ leave your posts this time.”

“Yes, Captain (Y/N)!”

And with that the unnamed girl rushed off, and soon after others followed behind her as some of them ran out of the archway, and the others that remained looked partially clueless as to what they should do until you spoke up, “The rest of you, I want you to use your gear and look for two soldiers, one taller than the other, with their capes on, although they may be off by now. Don’t let them see you, and don’t stop them, use your journals to sketch down what they look like, their names if you know them, where they are, and about what time it is.”

The second group of personnel started off, however, this time you stopped one of them, “C’mere,” you spoke, “Go to Erwin and tell him that Sawney and Bean have been… assassinated.”

‘ _As weird as it sounds to say it like that, that_ is _what happened. They were killed on purpose, this was no accident._ ’

“Yes, miss!”

‘ _And now I’ve got to tell Hanji… Oh boy, this isn’t gonna be fun._ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! I hope you enjoyed, and that everyone has a great Thanksgiving if you celebrate it! ^^
> 
> Updated a few hours before November 25, 2020!
> 
> ((And once again, I'm sorry that I haven't approved or replied to any comments yet, I promise I'll respond to them in about 24 hours(ish), it's just that schools backing me up, as well as everything else ^^''))


	28. 28║Breaking Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Updated a little before 2 December, 2020!
> 
> Happy December everyone, it's kinda hard for me to believe that I'm still posting chapters lmao, but I'd like to thank all of you guys for continuing to read this and motivating me to write these chapters I publish each week. I hope you all have a great day!! ^^ 💜

**Sunday, June 2, 850 at 06:43**

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**

“Please, girl… Just a little faster!” you urged your horse, digging the heels of your boots into her sides to encourage her to comply with your wishes. The produced breeze from her speed caused a false wind-like blow to push your (H/C) hair back a little, and you couldn’t help but mindlessly steer your mare back to where you had been no longer than two hours ago -in a much more stressed mindstate than you had been before. It was as soon as you left the titan testing area that you softened up, dropping your tougher demeanour and picking up your usual, more kind and outgoing one -although that doesn’t mean that you’re exactly in the best of moods as of right now. The event of what had just happened was catching up to you, and you felt your eyes water a small bit, soon finding yourself blinking them a few times to try and rid of any starting-to-form tears, ‘ _Not now! C’mon (Y/N), you were doing so well and staying so strong, don’t stop now!_ ’

A newfound determined flash swept across your (E/C) orbs, and while your eyes were still wetter than they would normally be, you found yourself no longer on the brink of tears, ‘ _I can’t tell if I was about to cry because I’ve let Hanji down in a sense, because that they were killed, or because they were killed because I_ failed _to protect them, let alone capture their killers._ ’

You shook your head at the thought, trying to rid it from your head as the castle popped into view, and not long after that did you slide your body off of your now trotting horse -given that she was quickly approaching the building- and catching your balance with your hands on the ground, pushing your legs against the floor as you willed yourself to run forwards before fully stabilizing. A few staggered leaps forwards, you reached the door and pulled it open, not bothering to close it as you soon stomped your feet onto the steps and rushed to the hallways with loud footfalls, not caring about any potential slumber you could be interrupting seeing as this was _much_ more important than someone getting a few more minutes in -if anyone was even sleeping anymore. As soon as you reached the door your hand flew to its knob, tightly grasping the metal contraption and hurriedly twisting it to grant you entry before you pushed yourself through the splintery barrier.

“...!” came your breathless gasp.

You found yourself wordless and out of breath as you panted at the doorway, effectively startling Hanji and Eren by your sudden appearance -who seemed to have been doing what they had been doing when you left. It was almost immediately that the brunette stood up from her seat, furniture almost tipping over at how quickly she stood up before hastily going over to you. “(Y/N), what… happened…?” she said as she stood before you and seemed to bring her face closer to the left side of your own -and if you weren’t so distressed you probably would have blushed at not only her concern, but also at how close she was to you, “Are you ok?”

You could only let out a rapid nod of your head, before panting out, “Sawney a-and Bean,” while putting a hand to your chest, trying to calm your erratic heart a little from all the adrenaline rushing throughout your bloodstream -partially from your prior movement and partially because of the news you were about to break to her, “D-Dead.”

Her eyebrows furrowed and her skin gained a touch of paleness to it, “Dead?”

“I couldn’t stop… them.” you said with a heavy heart, finally catching your breath and looking down at the ground, being overall ashamed at having to admit your incompetence in front of the woman you had the biggest crush on, “Them…? People killed them without reason…?” she asked, observing the floor’s stone bricks for a moment with deeply upset eyes before looking back up. “ᴵˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʷʰʸ ʸᵒᵘ’ʳᵉ ᵃˡˡ ᵇᵃⁿᵍᵉᵈ ᵘᵖ?" she queried in a whisper, lightly bringing her right hand up to the side of your face you just now realized was probably bruised from that punch earlier, knuckles brushing against the flesh with her gentle kiss of contact, “Y-Yeah…” you said, trying your best to not lean into her touch. So badly did you want to pull her into a hug, just allow yourself to fall into her arms and have her play with your hair as she shushed quiet comforts into your ear, holding you in a protective manner against her chest.

But you didn’t. Because you weren’t hers to coddle, and she wasn’t yours to be coddled by.

“Killed?” you heard sound from behind the section commander, and it was only then that you remembered that Jaeger was in the same room as you both. Hanji instantly retracted her hand with a profound frown, seeming to also only now recall the third person in the room, “Yes, Eren. Go report this to Levi, I can’t imagine that you’re going to be staying here much longer once he finds out. Make sure Moblit knows as well.”

“Yes, section commander.” the slightly fatigued boy said, although there was an obedient glare hidden in his worn topaz spheres as he gave a salute to the girl, leaving soon after as both you and said soldier took a step aside for him to pass, “We should head out too, I need to inform Erwin and try and get there before the Military Police try to cover up anything.” Your crush grabbed your hand and started dragging you down the hallway, leading you in the direction towards the horses with you stumbling behind said authoritative woman, “I’ve taken care of that,” you informed eyes staring down at your connected hands with a creeping blush that you vehemently begged to stay hidden and out of her sight, “I’ve ordered some of the soldiers who were supposed to be on guard to make sure no one intervenes and others to try and find any suspicious persons who might have killed them in the nearby vicinity. I told a soldier to tell Erwin about what happened, and well, yeah…” you trailed off, having built your sentence as if you had more to say, but by the time you got there you found yourself without words to supply said void you had formed.

She gave you a weak smile, trying to cheer you up -even if you could easily see through her façade and tell that she was upset by what happened to Sawney and Bean, “Well look at you, next thing I know you’re going to be taking my position as section commander.”

You weren’t really sure what to say to that, ‘ _She can’t be serious, not when I just failed at stopping two_ humans _from doing something._ ’

Letting out a meek and polite chuckle, you flexed your fingers in her grasp, not sure if she remembered that she was still grabbing onto your appendage and trying to remind her that she was -not that you minded, you just wanted the mental reassurance that she _wanted_ to hold your hand and hadn't simply forgotten. You weren’t sure if she had forgotten or not however, because it was not even a second after you had done so that she used that very hand to open the front door to the castle, “Let's get going, shall we?”

\----------------------------------------------------------

You swore that if guilt was tangible, your entire being would be replaced by it and you’d be nothing more than a remorseful puddle on the floor, even if the section commander’s reaction was not what you would’ve expected. You had gone more into detail of the events while on Bramble and Chestnut during your ride to the testing area, and even when she heard about how they didn’t have a chance she didn’t give an expected reaction. Currently she stood at your side, observing the few small remains of Sawney and Bean that hadn’t yet evaporated into the air, a frown very evident on her face. You were honestly expecting her to have gotten considerably more upset once she saw them by getting snappy as she did with Albert and Chicacchironi, or for her to have started crying loudly -something along the lines of a hysterical breakdown you supposed- given that; one, she was _Hanji_ and two, she seemed to have been attached to the both of them already despite working with them for only a month or so. But instead, she continued to frown and onlook, her brows creased a little but nothing more. To say this worried you would be a great understatement, ‘ _I’d rather get a reaction from this than nothing, who knows what she’s thinking… The Walls, maybe she’s mentally blaming me for getting them killed. She wouldn’t be wrong…_ ’

Despite theorizing that the woman might be upset with you, you decided to ask her how she felt, “Are you ok…? How are you holding up?” She turned her face a little towards you, warm mocha hues meeting yours only to melt your heart with the grief they held, “I’m doing ok, you?”

“Yeah, I’m ok, but… Are you sure you’re ok? You seem awfully quiet, I kinda thought you’d be…, _y’know_ , more upset at this...” you spoke as you trailed off, sending a concerned raise of your eyebrows her way as she gave you an answer, “Well, don’t get me wrong, it sucks that they’re gone. But,” she spoke as she held her breath for a second, picking her speech up once again soon after, “I wouldn’t change a single thing that happened today -er, well maybe a few small things, but nothing major.”

This took you completely off-guard, “Really?”

“Yeah. I can only assume that the people who killed them were strong, I mean, you’re in the _Special Operations Squad_ and you _struggled_ with them, that says something in itself. Changing something could’ve made not two corpses here on the floor but three, and I…” her words slowed to a stop as she blanched for a second, soon after shaking her head and refocusing her thoughts as she gave you a determined and hopeful look, “And I suppose that if Bean and Sawney were still alive, we would have no clue that there were any traitors in the military, or in the Walls altogether. A known enemy is much easier to take down than a hidden one after all.”

You only nodded your head along to her words, feeling flattered that she didn’t want you dead -as basic as that was- and seeing the bright side to the attack on the titans, ‘ _Even though if I had been able to stop them, or even get there earlier, we would’ve known that there were traitors to humanity in the Walls and would’ve gotten to keep both titans. Maybe we would have them both captive, who knows..._ ’

“Captain (Y/N)!” you heard a voice call out, pulling you out of your thoughts as the same soldier -that you had ordered to tell Erwin that Sawney and Bean were killed- from before made their way to you, holding out a familiar-looking tan field journal to you, “I was told that this was yours, captain.”

“Ah, thank you.” you said, giving an appreciative nod towards the person who soon left with an overly formal bow, wrapping your fingers around the spine of the book and observing the way your bruised knuckles were remarkably highlighted on this sunny day -a complete contrast to the mostly tense air that hung around due to the recent events that still shook some; after all, _who_ killed them and _why?_

“Your knuckles…” Hanji pointed out as she stared at the smally swollen parts of your fingers, “Ah, yeah, all’s good, they’re just a little uh, _sore_.” you reassured, trying to hide your dominant hand at your side now and you used your unfettered hand to put the journal in your pocket. This didn’t stop the girl however, as she soon grabbed onto your slightly injured hand with her own two palms, “You should’ve told me, (Y/N), we could’ve gotten ice for you.”

“Eh, it’ll be gone in a week or two.” you said, trying to shrug it off, doing your best to not look at either the section commander or your connected hands in front of you.

“Are you sure? I mean, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to make a stop at the infirmary here at HQ to grab some ice.”

“I promise. Besides, I’m pretty sure that it’s too late for that to slow down any swelling." you said, pausing your train of thought for a second before continuing, "Also, is it just me, or is Erwin trying to get us to go over to him?”

“Huh?” Hanji queried as she looked over to where she believed the male to be, letting go of your slightly injured hand and causing you to frown at the loss of contact. Surely, just like you had said, the commander stood there looking between the both of you and beckoning you both over with his hands, mouthing, “ _My office, now._ ”

“ᴰⁱᵈ ʰᵉ ʲᵘˢᵗ ˢᵃʸ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ʰᵉ ˢᵃⁱᵈ?” you asked in a whisper to Hanji, watching as the man left with Corporal Levi at his side -whispering something to him so that no one else heard- once he saw that he had garnered both you and Hanji’s attention and you had received his message. The ravenette he had spoken to snapped his widened steel hues to yours after the exchange, their piercing gaze freezing you for a second at their intensity before the man looked forwards once again as if nothing had happened at all. You weren’t given much time to think about it however as Hanji soon replied to your previous query, “ᴵᶠ ʸᵒᵘ’ʳᵉ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʰᵉ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵗᵒˡᵈ ᵘˢ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒ ᵗᵒ ʰⁱˢ ᵒᶠᶠⁱᶜᵉ, ᵗʰᵉⁿ ʸᵉˢ.” she replied in an equally quiet tone, before letting out a minuscule sigh, giving you a saddened grin as she took a small step forwards, “Let’s go, shall we?”

“I suppose we don’t really have a choice here, Hanji.” you spoke with an equally weighed down grin playing on your lips as the both of you started to head to the blonde’s office for whatever he was going to tell you, “You’re not wrong there, (Y/N).”

\----------------------------------------------------------

“I’m sure the three of you are aware that there’s most likely a traitor among the Survey Corps, yes?”

Three pairs of oaken, stormy grey and (E/C) eyes met with his cerulean ones, the commander’s swirling with conspiracy and a partial caution as he regarded everyone in the room. Said man was sitting at his desk, hands folded in his lap as he sat back in his wooden chair, looking back at all of you from his left to right; Levi, you and Hanji. The sunlight that was shining in through his three-panelled window behind him lit up the room plenty, leaving no need for any candles or lanterns to see his section commander, corporal and captain paying attention to him and shaking their head to his statement -save for Levi, who just stared at the man rather coldly, waiting for Erwin to get to the point already and hating the unnecessary build-up. The commander's office held a slight tenseness to it, but it was nowhere near the overpowering thickness that had coated the air outside, where the majority of people held themselves stiffly and kept looking over their shoulders as if they were the ones who had done it.

“Well, based on what exactly happened today, I’d say that their next target is Eren.”

‘ _Wait, what?_ ’

Hesitantly, you used your voice to project your confusion as to where he had come to that conclusion, “Sir, I mean no disrespect, but where did you draw that conclusion from?”

His piercing gaze connected to yours, and even though you slightly wanted to slink away at its unusual intensity, you composed yourself and returned it equally, not letting yourself cower away under something as simple as a look, ‘ _That’s right, hold yourself (Y/N). Show that you’re strong, even if the only reason they were killed was because you couldn’t stop them before…_ ’ The man replied in his typical, strong voice, “(Y/N), I need to ask you some things before I explain myself any further.” he spoke, eyes unmoving and watching every single move you made, “First, what exactly happened this morning, and why were you in the testing area at the same time that Sawney and Bean were killed when you were supposed to be with Hanji?”

You felt your mouth go dry, not liking the suspecting tone that was once hidden in his deep voice as it came out into the open, much more apparent now than it had been before. Hanji tensed at your side, seeming to realize the same thing that you did at the same time based on his tone, ‘ _He’s thinking I did it and staged this whole thing, isn’t he?_ ’

Holding back a gulp, you could feel the observant stare of Levi on you, undoubtedly ready to stop you should you try to do anything fishy, ' _That was what they were talking about before, wasn't it? When Erwin called Hanji and me over..._ '

You did your best not to let your eyes drift to the male, instead keeping your slightly widened hues tracked on Erwin, and subconsciously shifting your weight a little closer to Hanji, “Sir, while at the castle Levi and his squad were at, I realized I forgot my field journal at the testing area and immediately left to retrieve it. Upon arrival, I found two soldiers who had just finished killing both Sawney and Bean. I tried to stop them, but… I failed. And now they’re dead. The soldiers who were supposed to be on guard quickly entered once they left.” you answered as truthfully as you could, trying to calm your quickening heartbeat.

The man continued to sit at his desk, staring at you as he processed your story with alert shades of a deep blue. Hanji took the smallest of moves towards you, right hand reaching out to your left one and grabbing onto it as what you could only guess was a form of reassurance that -even if no one else was- she was on your side, “(L/N), you were the only person who saw them, correct?”

“I-... Yes, commander.” you admitted, not seeing any point in lying as that would only make you more suspicious, bringing your right hand up to brush through your (H/L) hair -understandably stressed at the accusation of doing something you’d never dream of.

It was in that moment that you saw Levi make a move out of the corner of your eye.

Without any true warning Hanji’s quick reflexes kicked in and she pushed you behind her, backing the both of you up slightly as she raised her hands out in front of her. The now protective woman quickly stood in front of you in a defensive position, ready to make a move at any second while glancing at both Levi and Erwin cautiously -although based on how her head was turned you could only guess that her gaze was primarily focused on the ravenette -specifically what he was holding in his left hand, “Put that down, Levi. You know she didn't do it, you _both_ do.” Her words were spoken with venom, the harshness laced between the words fabricating the full threat with her squinted eyes and releasing its full potential. It was only when you looked past the brunette that you saw why she did what she did; Levi -one of the people that you swore would never go against you given his dedication towards Humanity- was holding a sharpened dagger at his side, his eyes wide, aware and unblinking as he held the weapon in a ready-to-move fashion.

Erwin spoke up again, his voice commanding and gravely serious, “Prove it (Y/N), prove that you didn’t kill Sawney and Bean.”

‘ _Shit, how the fuck do I prove this?!_ ’ you questioned yourself in a panic, spacing out as you racked your memories and thoughts for an answer -mind effectively going blank as you were threatened.

“Erwin, you know _damn_ well that she has risked her life for humanity more than once! Cut this out, _now_!”

‘ _Oh fuck, I- C’mon think! There has to be something, anything!_ ’

“Hanji, step away from (Y/N).”

‘ _They think I’ve faked my wounds, so that’s not going to work, but there has to be something else!_ ’

“Like hell I will! She’s _innocent_ , you guys have lost your minds! Do you honestly think that she would do something like this?!”

‘ _I can’t let this escalate any further, c’mon, think!_ ’

“Levi, you’ve worked with her before, you know she would never! Don’t you remember the way her eyes lit up when titan testing was brought up? The way she smiled? How happy she was?”

‘ _Aha! I’ve got it!_ ’

“Commander, corporal, I believe I have proof it wasn’t me!” you cried as you took a step forward, standing tall next to Hanji as you wished to defend yourself with slightly clammy palms. Now that you were paying attention to what was happening again, you could see that Erwin was now standing behind his desk, cold spheres eyeing you carefully as he waited for you to continue, “Go on.”

“Sawney and Bean were killed with 3DM gear, right?”

“Yes, that is what has been determined to have happened.”

“I don’t have my gear with me sir, it couldn’t have been me!” you reasoned, patting your gear free hips, “Also, if I recall correctly, when battling one of the hooded soldiers, part of the end of their blade chipped off, showing that someone with 3DMG was there! Go ahead and check, I’m sure it’s still there or records of it being there are written!”

It went silent for a few seconds, no word was said and no move was made as everyone stood tensely in the uncomfortable atmosphere.

Then Erwin opened his mouth, “And how do we know that you didn’t hide a spare set of gear somewhere?” he countered.

Your heart raced and you felt beads of sweat form on your forehead, ‘ _God damn it, how do I prove this to them?! Why can’t they see that I didn’t do it?!_ ’ You saw Levi shift the dagger in his hands a small bit, and you couldn’t help but stare at the light's reflection in the stainless blade before you flickered your frightened eyes to meet Levi's.

The moments following were tense, no one in the room truly sure of the outcome that would be left behind if anyone made a move. Your head pounded in the stress, and you were sure that if you were in another potential life or death situation, you would have broken down crying right then and there.

Then Levi took his knife and lowered it with a sigh, shaking his head. He brought the edge down to his side and relaxed his once tensed shoulders, running his right hand through his short locks with closed eyes.

“Levi?” Erwin asked, a quizzical brow raised at the raven-haired male.

“She’s being sincere, Erwin.” he said as said corporal looked to the commander, “(Y/N) didn’t have her gear on when I saw her last night and Moblit was saying how he needed to bring it back to HQ this morning, so it wasn’t her own, and she doesn’t have that look about her when she lies.” he said, orbs locking onto Hanji’s for a second before turning to you, “Besides, Hanji’s right. Based on how she was always excited to test on those pieces of shit..., she would never be able to kill them.”

At the last statement Erwin let out a small -out of place- grin, looking back at both you and Hanji and looking greatly relieved, “Then I give you my deepest apologies, (Y/N),” he spoke with a bow, “I do hope you understand why we took such extreme precaution, but if you don’t yet I do believe the rest of my theory about what’s going on will.”

After a second of just staring and processing what just happened, you let your body relax, seeing as you were no longer considered a threat -and the woman at your side seemed to do the same, albeit more warily than you. Levi faced back toward the man, his weapon hidden back on his body as his stone eyes focused on the commander, and it wasn’t much longer that you and Hanji did the same side by side, waiting for him to explain himself and his actions -given that you assumed Levi had armed the blade under his command.

“As I said before, we all are aware that there is a traitor within the military. But I have reason to believe that this traitor is a shifter themselves, out to get Eren.” You almost opened your mouth to ask him why he thought that once again, but upon remembering his earlier reaction, you decided against it and just waited for the man to continue, “We all know that those titans were doing no harm to humanity and that they could’ve only aided us in the war against them. So whoever these people are, they don’t want us to find out more about them. And with the recent appearance of the Colossal and Armoured titans attempting to rid humanity of another Wall, I believe that those two soldiers you saw before were them.”

Hanji looked to Erwin, eyes widened the smallest bit as she processed what she was being told, much more relaxed than she had been mere minutes prior due to the surprise, “You mean that… that the Colossal and Armoured titans are shifters too…?”

“Exactly, Hanji.”

Looking down at the ground, your eyes held understanding, and as much as you wished things hadn't happened the way they had you would see why Erwin did what he did, ‘ _Well, that does make sense as to why he reacted so strongly before. After all, if I was the one who killed them, then it wouldn’t be that far off to guess that I was either the Armoured or Colossal titan, and if I had transformed here… Although, I can only imagine that he was thinking I might’ve been the Armoured titan, given that the Colossal titan was the only one who made an appearance and it would be impossible for me to be the Colossal titan given that I was with Hanji when Trost first fell. It still would be devastating though, the number of people lost in the chaos of a sudden fifteen-meter shift… I can definitely see why he did what he did, as unpleasant as it was._ ’

“As to why they would be after Eren, well Eren is a useful tool for humanity. These people want our destruction it seems, and Eren will slow that down. As to when they’ll make a move, it would probably be when humanity is not able to protect him with certainty. The perfect conditions for an easy kidnapping -or perhaps even murdering, we can’t be too sure- would be outside the Walls in titan territory. If a move is made for him on the upcoming expedition, then we know for a fact that there is a traitor. If no move is made, there may not be a traitor inside the Walls and this was simply an act of rage towards the titans.”

‘ _I- Yeah. That sounds pretty well put together, I’m surprised he was able to come up with such a sound theory and plan in such a little time…_ ’

“With that being said, we need to prepare the best we can in the event a move is made to take or kill Eren, so Levi,” he said with a slight pause, looking to the ravenette, “You and your squad will be in the centre, more towards the back, as it’s one of the safest positions. No one is to reveal this information, understand? The only ones who shall know of this are you three.”

“Understood Erwin.” “Yes, Sir.” “Tch.”

“Levi, you’ll need to tell your squad to not go out telling others where they will be during the expedition as well, just as a precautionary step. For all we know the traitor could be one of the soldiers in the Survey Corps. In fact, anyone who hasn’t been here in the Survey Corps since the fall of Wall Maria can not be trusted. (Y/N), you will accompany them as a member of the Special Operations Squad, and you will proceed with this expedition as if it were a normal one and not one based around capture.”

‘ _That’s probably another reason as to why he wouldn’t completely trust me, I only joined the Survey Corps around the fall of Maria. That’s not that much time to clear me, if any at all._ ’ You looked up to the man as you gave him an answer, “Yes, sir.”

“Now, I need both you and Hanji to design something that can stop even a running titan in his tracks. During this expedition, we’re going to go to the Giant Tree Forest, you three know what I’m talking about, correct?”

A round of nods passed through the room, and once Erwin saw the agreement, he continued listing out his commands for his loyal soldiers, palms flat on his desk as he leaned over it slightly, looking up at everyone in the room as he spoke, “The plan I’ve conjured is to have Levi’s squad lead the shifter into a trap, the one that Hanji and (Y/N) will make. If we can stop them, then we can reveal their identity and take care of at least one of the traitors. Once we have them captured, we will take them back into the Walls and try to lure their partner and any others out to save them, and then properly take care of them then and there. Does everybody understand?”

No one gave him any negative responses to his question, so without much more to say, he dismissed everyone in the room, “Then Levi and Hanji are dismissed. (Y/N), please stay for a minute longer.”

You could only tense at first, paranoia creeping up and making itself comfortable in your conscious as you couldn’t help but immediately brace yourself for the worst, ‘ _The Walls, what is it this time…? I don’t know if I want to find out.’_

“Actually Erwin, I don’t mind spending another minute in here.” Hanji revealed as she stayed by your side, casting her suspicious mocha hues to the blonde male as Levi left the room with a click of the door. Gently, you put a hand on her shoulder, turning her attention to you as she bore her concerned and weary spheres into your exhausted ones, “It’s… ok, I’ll be fine.” She held eye contact for a moment, seemingly just thinking about it before replying with uncertainty, “Positive?”

“One hundred percent.”

She then slowly nodded, turning her back to Erwin as she started to head to the door, speaking to you lowly with such softness that you knew Erwin couldn’t hear it, “ᴵ'ˡˡ ᵇᵉ ʳⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵒᵘᵗˢⁱᵈᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵒᵒʳ.” Your heart fluttered at her concern, watching her as she made her way to the door and as she paused for a moment, “Hey Erwin,” she started coldly, head slightly turned towards the male -but not fully- as she stopped at the doorway, “You should run a gear check on all soldiers, then you can see for yourself that (Y/N)’s innocent.”

She didn’t wait long for a response as she then walked through and closed the solid and sturdy wooden barrier without turning back -the entrance producing a satisfying click that mirrored Levi’s after her.

The male was silent as he stared at the door, seemingly processing something in his eyes that you most likely couldn’t understand. With no one else in the room besides you and the commander, the endroit grew tense and silent once more as you waited for him to speak, which he soon did after he finished his thought, “I just wanted to apologize once more for the distress I just caused,” he said, studying his desk and brushing a certain pile of paperwork out a little, “But you do understand, don’t you?” You met your (E/C) eyes to his momentarily, choosing to look outside the window behind the male towards the end of your responding sentence, “O-Of course sir. As disturbing as it was, I can see why such measures were necessary, especially if I was thought to have been a shifter."

He gave you a genuine smile, one that you had rarely seen from the blonde, "Thank you, (Y/N). I just wanted to make sure it was all cleared up, that's all. You're dismissed." You tried to give the man an appreciative smile of your own with a just as cheerful salute, but despite your best attempts, they seemed to be half-hearted as the events of the day caught up to you -for the second time that day.

Even though yours were weak, he returned the gestures in a more honest way not too long after you had given yours, "Have a good day, commander."

"You too, captain."

And with that you started to make your way to the door and dropped your content mask as soon as your back was to the male, your heart heavy and brain feeling like a puddle. It wasn't _once_ today you had almost been killed, but _twice_ ; by humans nonetheless, one of whom you thought considered you as a friend, ‘ _It’d be one thing for it to be by titans, I mean, I don’t risk my life to try and make their lives easier like those mysterious soldiers, or hell, even_ know _them personally. Well, save for the testing titans..., but it’s_ different _. Although I suppose it wasn’t by Levi’s own intuition that he threatened me…_ ’ You could feel the pressure building up behind your eyes as you felt tears prick at your eyes again, your face getting warm as you tried to bottle your emotions up once more, ‘ _What would have happened here if I hadn’t been in Levi’s squad? Would he still have been able to vouch for me that I was telling the truth? Would today have ended in a bloodier way…?_ ’ The mere thought of it stressed you out even more. It was once you had opened the portal and made your way outside of it that they started to roll down your cheeks, the slightly cooler feeling prominent as you pursed your lips and turned your head upwards while leaning against the door, trying to keep the droplets contained to your eyes but to no avail.

“Are you ok?”

You jumped at the voice, already having forgotten that Hanji said she would wait right outside the door. Immediately trying to put a smile on your face, you gave her the biggest grin you could muster and barked out an overly loud and fake laugh, “Ha! Of course! Heart’s still beating, and I’m still breathing!” You struck a silly pose, good hand on your hip and the other one gestured out in a ‘ _Duh_ ’ move as you rolled your eyes. Yet despite how fine you tried to portray yourself as, you still couldn’t make yourself look Hanji in the eyes, opting to look past the girl because you knew full well that you’d crack as soon as you did.

“(Y/N)...”

You could see the girl walking towards you, and yet it still caught you off-guard when she hugged you tightly, wrapping her slender arms around you in a comforting manner -one hand reaching up to the back of your head to hold it close to her chest, the other one securing you to her around your waist. Only being able to let out a gasp, you froze in her grasp, immediately losing your act as you could feel the tears bubble up to the surface again and letting out a strained hiccup.

Then you hugged her.

You let it all out, ugly crying and snotting up the shoulder of her jacket as you hid your face further in her safe, warm embrace- all the miserable and demoralizing emotions you were experiencing stemming from not only your anxiety and fear from almost being killed twice that day, but also the guilt you felt from not being able to save Sawney and Bean and the fact that you had let Hanji down. But the longer you found yourself in her arms, the more soothed you became as your cries softened.

And even though you weren’t hers -and she wasn’t yours- you were still coddled and consoled in the lonely hallway, soft and kind whispers brushed against your ear as she calmed you down, letting you take as long as you needed, “ _I’ll always be here for you (Y/N), even if no one else is._ ”


	29. 29║Blueprints

**Saturday, June 15th, 850 at 09:34**

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**

“So you think our best shot is either one of these?” you asked the section commander at your side, eyes scanning over both blueprints as you tried to find any blearing flaws in them -only to ultimately find none. Tilting your head to see her, you ripped your eyes away from the framework as you listened, “Yup,” she said, looking to you and sending you a bright smile, “If we can build these properly, I’m sure we’ll be able to stop any titan in their tracks.”

The two of you were currently in Hanji’s room -as per her insistence- standing at the one table she had kept in her room/office combo since the very first time you had walked into the room that one fateful May night. The woman had freed it of most of its papers, given that the piles stacked upon it seemed to have been piled higher than you ever recalled them being, ‘ _I don’t know that I can really say she cleaned up her papers though, all she did was put them on her desk…_ ’ you thought, glancing to said wooden furniture as if to confirm what you already knew was true. As your eyes drifted past the piles of papers, they locked on the windowpane behind the girl’s desk and the small beads of water that fell on the glass, a soft pitter-patter tapping on the barrier that made today one of the best days for planning and forming the contraption that Erwin had asked you about two weeks ago to build, ‘ _We’ve already spent all this time on planning, and I think the both of us have just about come up with every single logical way to capture a titan. Now it’s just down to these two choices here, and based on what Hanji just said, I’d guess that we’re making two prototypes, one of each design, before fully deciding which to bring in about two week’s time._ ’

You zoned back into what was happening, observing the papers once more. The choice you both had to debate over was whether a contraption that shot out spear-like projectiles in bunches from a barrel was the best option, or a giant net with weights and similar -yet significantly smaller but more plentiful- blades. “I certainly hope that they would be, otherwise all this planning would have been for nothing.’ you admitted, letting out a small laugh that was met with a matching one from the woman, “Eh, we’ll be fine.” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand, “We’ve gone over everything possible, nothing could possibly go wrong.”

Shaking your head at her words, you picked up the closest blueprint to you -which just so happened to be what you assumed to be the most difficult to assemble out of the pair, the one endearingly and carefully named ‘Barrel-Spear-Thingy.’ You almost caught your breath when Hanji leaned closer to you, becoming increasingly aware of how little distance was in between you both until you realized that she was only doing so to read the blueprint better, ‘ _Ah, well… That sucks._ ’

“Do you wanna start with this one?” you asked, holding the thin sheet closer to her, trying to change your thoughts from the distracting girl to the task at hand, “I can only imagine that this one’ll take longer, given that we have to figure out how to make spears project from it.”

“Sounds good to me,” she started as she pulled away slightly, taking one last good glance at it before heading to her bedroom, “I’ll just grab the supplies I have stocked to make a prototype, and if construction goes well, we can try it as soon as the rain clears up.” Her voice faded the smallest bit as it became slightly muffled in the other room, ‘ _Wait, she kept all that stuff in her room…? Does she even have any room to sleep?_ ’ It was as quickly as the girl had gone into the room that she had left it, full arms and all as she carried a barrel filled with multiple metal parts sticking out of it -including very dangerous spearheads. You started to sweatdrop when you saw her almost trip.

Taking several steps closer to her, you tried grabbing onto part of it to assist the section commander in her side task after dropping the blueprint on the ground gently, “It’s ok (Y/N),” she said as she put down the barrel with your help, placing it near the middle of the open space her office provided, “I’ve got it.”

“Are you sure? That seems pretty heavy, and it looked like you might’ve been struggling there a little bit at the end.” you reasoned with her, rolling your eyes a little bit as you sent her a teasing smile as she gently raised her hand to the nape of her neck, rubbing it as she spoke, “What…? No, never.”

Snorting at her and her blatant lie, you rolled your eyes, “Ok, yeah sure. C’mon Hercules, we’ve got assembling to do.”

Once you picked up the blueprint again, you knelt down and rested it on your lap, placing the rest of your upper body on your folded legs as you sat and put your hands on the rim of the barrel, trying to tilt it towards you a little to take a glimpse inside -there were a whole bunch of miniature metal parts, spearheads, a few gears, springs, screws and the like, “Hey Hanji, how’re we going to incorporate these gears in again?”

Running your eyes over the instructions you and Hanji had mapped out, you only furrowed your brows, not finding any answers, ‘ _I could’ve sworn that we didn’t need these many… Maybe I’m not remembering correctly? I could just be confusing this design with another, rejected one after all._ ’

“Hanji?” you asked once you didn’t receive a reply, looking to her curiously. As soon as you moved your head to see if she was alright, you turned her head to her elbow and let out a few smaller coughs, and it was only when she met her cocoa orbs to yours that you noted the light sprinkle of red that dusted upon her cheeks, “S-Sorry, what was that?” Raising a brow at her response, you came to the conclusion that she was probably thinking about the next step -or perhaps even the testing process once construction was complete- as you repeated your inquiry, “Eh, all’s good. I was just asking, how do we use all of these gears again? I don’t remember there being so many, and I can’t find them on the blueprint…”

“Oh, those. Those are just spares, I had my supplier give me extras in case something goes wrong, _especially_ the gears because they have a whole bunch of tiny and easily breakable parts.” she explained with a chuckle, face returning to its normal colour slowly but surely as she joined you on the floor and pushed her sleeve to the crook of her elbow. You could only bark out a laugh at what she said however, “Don’t say it like that Hanji, you’re making it sound like you’re talking about a drug deal.”

She sent you a playful glare as she started taking something out of the barrel, and it wasn’t long after she started that you tried assisting the woman by reaching in and pulling things out as well, “Who knows, maybe I am. I’m sure Levi thinks I do drugs by the way he looks at me half the time anyway.”

“I guess that makes the two of us then, huh? I’m sure he sees me as just as much of a crackhead as you, so I suppose we’ll just have to be crackheads together.” you jested, giggling as you piled the springs on a certain section of the floor to facilitate finding it when you would inevitably need it later, your smile only widening when the woman let out her own guffaw.

Then it went silent for a little, a calm and comfortable atmosphere to be found everywhere you looked as your lips curved into a grin, happy to be spending time with Hanji.

“Wanna do coderoin later then?”

At first you just looked to the mahogany-haired girl, not having processed her words until a few seconds had passed.

“Hanji!” you shouted as she snickered, finding your reaction amusing as she tried to assemble some of the smaller parts in her hand -failing to do so on part of the shaking that rolled through her in the form of laughter.

**Sunday, June 16th, 850 at 15:55**

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“As nice as it is to finally be able to test these out, I sure do like being able to see.” you remarked with squinted eyes, holding your one hand out in front of you to block out the sun the best you could outdoors -which wasn’t very effective on this bright, cloudless day, ‘ _Quite the contrast to what it was like yesterday, it just wouldn’t stop coming down._ ’

Hanji was kneeling down, moving the barrel about while gripping it’s lever tightly to hold it in place where she wanted -the wooden object lying horizontally on the ground- as she got the knee-coverings and the toes of her boots covered in a thin, watery mud, nodding to your words as she continued tinker about, “Eh, it’s not _that_ bad. Annoying sure, but we’ll survive, won’t we?”

Faking feeling faint, you put the back of your dominant hand to your head, the mostly faded bruises mostly healed except for a few traces of purple and blue, “Oh, I don’t… I don’t know about that Hanji…” By the way she slightly shrugged her shoulders, you could only guess that she had rolled her eyes, soon letting out a mixture between a scoff and a laugh as she replied, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll take you to the infirmary later.”

‘ _Gee, thanks for the concern Hanji._ ’ you thought amusedly to yourself, looking at the tree that the section commander was pointing the Barrel-Spear-Thingy at, ‘ _So then we can try and see how well it’s going to attach to other things, after all, there’s no point in building a whole bunch of these if they don’t work._ ’ Looking down to the folded up net in your hands, you focused your sight on a particular spearhead that glared in the sun a little, ‘ _Same goes for this net, no point in building a bigger one if the small one looks like it’ll be ineffective in capturing a titan._ ’

It didn’t take much longer for the girl to be content with the barrel’s alignment to the tree, and after standing up and wiping her hands on her pants a little, she turned to you, “Which one do you wanna try out first? The net, or the Barrel-Spear-Thingy?” When she presented the option to you she pointed at the both of them, hands finding their home on her hips as she shifted her weight and waited for a response, “It’s probably best to start with the net, no? Y’know, so then we can use the same tree for both tests, and this way there isn’t a chance of the tree collapsing under my weight if the spears do their job well enough.”

The lady blinked once or twice, seemingly having not thought of what was obvious to you, “Good point, pretend I said nothing.” she chuckled out, a jovial smile playing on her lips as she started walking towards the tree, you soon following suit with boots that squelched in the muck. “This is why I keep you around, (Y/N).” Snorting, you just elbowed her in her side gently, a playful gesture that you partially made just to be closer to the girl, “Let me just climb the tree already, you want me to drop it straight down, right?”

“Yeah, you’ll get an above ground angle, and I’ll see how it is from down here.”

Giving one last nod to the woman, you held the spearhead infested net in the crook of your elbow, reaching up with your other arm to grab onto a stable part of the branch and then proceeding to pull yourself up carefully with your legs. Belly flopping onto a lower branch of the tree, you once more grasped onto a higher branch once you were standing only to hear a call from not to far below you, Section Commander Hanji sending you a teasing grin with an eyebrow raised, “Wouldn’t it be easier to put the net on a high branch, and _then_ climb?”

“...”

You put the net on a higher branch, ignoring her laughter in pretend annoyance that wasn’t that convincing given that you yourself were chuckling a little, not being to help it once you heard the woman chortle to herself. After making your way a little bit higher up the tree with the net, you eventually perched yourself comfortably and in a decent position to send the net to the ground without any interference from branches or twigs, a good three to four meters off of the soft, mud-caked grass below, “I don’t throw it or anything, right? Just dropping?”

“I believe so, ready when you are!”

Glancing down, you spread out the net to the best of your ability -making sure that Hanji was well out of range- and then proceeding to pull it up as high as it would go. Then you dropped it.

It fell to the ground, slightly askew from where you had tried to drop it from and crumbled into itself as it laid predominantly flat out. Taking one last glance at the net from above, you hopped down a tree limb or two until you felt comfortable enough to jump on the terrain -doing so almost perfectly, your feet fell straight down, and the only thing that took away from your landing was the slight wobble that came from you stabilizing yourself with your arms. “I don’t know about this one, (Y/N),” Hanji admitted as she frowned at the ropes that were tied together, “One side fell before the rest of it, and it didn’t land completely flat on the ground.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, “Not only that, but it also didn’t completely go in the direction that I wanted it to when I let go of it. Granted, when we would actually use it it would be a lot bigger, and maybe not just one but multiple, but… I don’t know, something about it seems unreliable. Almost as if a strong enough breeze would make it difficult to land properly, not to mention the trouble that would be had setting it up.”

“Hm, I see what you’re saying,” she agreed with a sigh before pushing up her glasses, “Let’s go and try the barrel one then, yeah? If this one doesn’t work, I guess we’ll have to go back to the drawing board.”

‘ _I don’t know that we have time for that though._ ’ you reasoned with yourself in your head, having a more realistic view than what you would reveal to the woman, not wanting her to panic over nothing, ‘ _Not like she isn’t aware of it already though, but it’s still better to stay positive. It’s not gonna hurt to, anyways._ ’ After picking up the net and putting it next to the barrel that remained in the same place as before, the two of you got ready to pull the lever that was attached to the outside of the barrel, you being on its left side and Hanji’s messy mop of hair to its right. Slightly tugging at her leather jacket sleeve to fix it, she sent you a look -wordlessly asking you if you were ready for her to set off the contraption and test it out once and for all. You gave her your consent, head going up and down curtly as a passion flooded through your being -a hope that all the time you had spent planning and building wouldn’t go to waste.

Hanji regripped her fingers around the metal lever, letting out a small and shaky breath -one you wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t paying such close attention to her- before finally pulling the trigger back and sending seven spearheads in the direction of the tree.

“I-...”

“Wow…”

The both of you became muted as you just stared at the scene in front of you; seven jagged spears lodged deep within the tough trunk of the tree, impregnating themselves comfortably as the ends of the metal poles they were fused onto held the wire cables taut and tight, ‘ _They went so fast! I’m almost certain that even Hanji didn’t expect them to go as quickly as they did either. In fact, given her reaction, she seems just as stunned as I am._ ’

“Yahoo!” she said, jumping up and twirling in the air as she geeked out, smile big as she expressed the fact that she was overjoyed by the outcome, “They’re perfect! Just imagine if we had a hundred or two of these, we’d be able to stop the biggest of titans!”

You swore you had never seen her act so cute.

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“Erwin!” Hanji cried out, eyes wide in excitement as she burst through his door and addressed the male, “I think we’ve finally found something that’ll work!”

The poor commander was sitting behind his desk, and had been writing on a piece of paper before the section commander busted her way through and into the room. She had dragged you all the way here, hightailing it to HQ -after a pitstop to pick up the blueprints- in order to tell Erwin the results as soon as possible claiming that, “ _Time is of the essence, (Y/N)!_ ” You weren’t as eager to go and see the man however, still being a little hesitant due to your last interaction with him about two weeks ago not being the most pleasant one you’ve ever had, ‘ _I suppose it’s a mental block that’s making me hesitant, I mean, I know why he indirectly threatened to kill me. I guess it just really shook me up…_ ’ Images of that day flashed through your head, causing you to stare out at the ground as they replayed, ‘ _They’re dead because of me, because I couldn’t get to them in time and yet they still remain unavenged._ ’

You shook your head, doing your best to rid of such thoughts as you zoned back to the conversation that was taking place in the sunlit room, closing the door shut before walking over to the maroon haired girl that brought you here, “Hanji, please, quiet down.”

“Ah, yes. Of course,” she said guiltily, rubbing the back of her neck as she glanced her eyes down momentarily, “But still! (Y/N) and I’ve found what we truly believe is going to work best for the expedition.” It was only then that the woman brought attention to the rolled-up paper she held in her hands, holding it out slightly as she unravelled the sheet, “This here is a contraption we configured to shoot out seven spears at a time, each one’s connected to wires that lead to the barrel, ensnaring the titan in place if we had enough.” She placed the blueprint onto the wooden desk of the commander -or rather, on top of the various papers _already_ on top of his bureau- and flattened it out the smallest bit with her palms, pointing at the reversed image -as she had turned it for Erwin- as she went on to explain each and every tiny detail that you already had memorized, ‘ _After all, I did help her build it. Even if the good majority of it was her working on it, given that she’s notably hands-on and such._ ’

“This gear is placed here to help with the lever that shoots the spears out, and it’s also connected to this semi-relay system, basically just delaying it a tiny bit so it doesn’t go too fast and break anything. It’s a one time use until you reset it, by taking out the panel in the back…” Erwin’s astute orbs traced on the coordinating parts she described, babbling on to the man about how it worked with enthusiastic jabs of her finger and energetic gestures with her hands. Never for more than a few seconds did she standstill, using herself entirely to sell the idea to Erwin whom she had gotten over her grudge with, ‘ _That’s not to say that it seemed to come to her easy, acting normal like this near him since she was almost killed. She even glared at him for the few days right after, which, quite honestly, is something I hope I’m never on the receiving end of. Although, it was kinda hot though…_ ’ A light blush crept up to your cheekbones as you recalled how protective she was, ‘ _I just wish it was special only to me, as selfish as that sounds. Geez, what’s wrong with me? I need to get this crush under control, this has gone too far. Hanji was your friend, is your friend, and will be your friend and nothing more. Get it straight, (Y/N)._ ’

The female who was causing such conflicting thoughts had her eyebrows partly creased, naturally furrowing as she continued to explain any questions that Erwin had, “And what’s this called?”

“Oh, uh…” Hanji looked back at you for help, clearly not knowing what to call the machinery that you two had both fabricated, “It’s called the Barrel-Spear-Thingy…”

You swore that you saw a vein almost pop on the commander’s forehead before he let out a sigh, bringing his hand to his face and running it down as he calmed himself down, “Got it. We can worry about a better name later. What’s important right now is that you guys have completed your assignment. How many of these do you think we’ll need to stop a fifteen-meter titan?” At that, you partially rose a brow until you realized why he said fifteen meters in particular, ‘ _Fifteen meters? Oh, y’know he probably just wants to make sure that even the biggest titans can be restrained. And well, if it’s the colossal titan we’re dealing with and need to capture, I think we have bigger issues than we can handle anyways… Actually, it’s probably impossible for the colossal titan to kidnap Eren, given how he has such a high body temperature according to the reports._ ’

Hanji looked down to her hands, raising digits one by one as she counted off in her head how many would be needed, “If I had to guess, no more than two hundred. But…” she trailed off, lolling her head slightly from her right to left as she started the second, contradicting part of her sentence, “I think that it might be best to get three hundred to four hundred, given that some might miss and we don’t know the full strength of this titan. Playing it safe, y’know?”

Erwin nodded at her words, staring down at his desk as he went through her request in his head once more. After a little bit more of thinking, he shorty gave his answer, “I’ll tell them to make four hundred.”

‘ _Yes! Perfect, it can’t fail now!_ ’

“But,”

‘ _Damn it, there’s always a catch!_ ’

“First I will only tell them to make two hundred. You said that they can be reused, right Hanji?”

Said woman agreed with the idea, hair tussling a little in its unkempt hairdo as she bobbed her head up and down, “Yes, all you have to do is manually reset it in the back panel.”

“Good, so what we’ll do is only make half of the product and have you test it on Eren, in titan-form of course, to make sure that it is effective. Of course, it doesn’t have to fully stop him given that it’s half of the requested material, but it should hinder him a great bit. If this does work,” he said as he gestured his right hand to the blueprint that was slightly curled over in the corners, “Then we’ll make the other two hundred. If it isn’t, then we’ll be forced to go back to the drawing board. We _can not_ afford to mess this up.” His cerulean eyes pierced into both your (E/C) ones and Hanji’s coffee ones, making sure that the both of you were aware of how serious this whole operation was -as if you weren’t already.

“Yes, sir.” “Sure, Erwin!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated a little before 9 December, 2020!!
> 
> I'm so excited for the final season, but also I'm going to torture myself and wait until it is fully released and completed before watching any of it lmao 💀


	30. 30║Titanic

**Saturday, June 15th, 850 at 14:41**

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The girl didn't even get off of her horse before she started calling aloud for his attention, "Levi! Hey, Levi!"

You snickered into your hand while loosely gripping your horse's reins in your opposite hold, clearly seeing that the ravenette was trying his best to ignore the woman as you, Hanji and Moblit approached him and his squad on horseback. It looked as if they were getting ready to practice some kind of training, seeing as all six of them -Eld, Eren, Gunther, Levi, Oluo and Petra- were all congregating around the stalls as Levi was supposedly giving out instructions for what they were going to be doing today. Said man no longer made you anxious every time you saw him, something that took about a week's time to adjust to after he had threatened you with a knife -even if it was underneath someone else's orders.

"Oh, c'mon Levi! Don't ignore me!" Hanji cried out once more, this time close enough to jump off of her horse, seemingly without a care in the world as she garnered the attention of everyone in the nearby area -including you, you having just jumped off of your horse, and after a quick glance back to make sure that she wouldn't run away, you started to walk over to the growing group of soldiers.

"What do you want, four-eyes." Despite his words being phrased like a question, his tone was dry and almost monotone, something you didn't note as uncharacteristic given that he was _Levi_ , "Well, (Y/N) and I need to borrow Eren!"

"Why should I allow this?"

"Because, we need to test out a new method for capturing new testing titans!"

Recognition flashed through the male's stormy hues as he understood the real meaning behind her words, clearly seeing that this was for the fifty-seventh expedition coming up in a little bit, ' _Although we could probably use the new technology we invented to capture new testing titans... It'd probably be easier than what we're trying to catch in the forest later on anyways..._ '

"Tch, with manners like th-"

"Pretty please! We promise we'll take good care of him, won't we (Y/N)?!" she shouted as she kept shifting her weight with an excited look etched on her features, causing a growing smile to form on your lips -one that you strongly wished would go away, given that everyone's attention seemed to be on you in this moment, "Of course! C'mon, you know we'd never let something happen to him, Corp'l Levi." With a faux tip of your imaginary hat, you refrained from calling him humanity's strongest soldier in an attempt of flattery, something you knew he hated being called from your prior years under his service, ' _And I don't exactly wanna piss him off right now, maybe later though, as partial revenge for threatening me..._ ' you thought teasingly to yourself, ' _Yeah, that sounds nice._ ' Don't get yourself wrong, you were no longer hesitant to be around the male, but that wasn't to say that didn't hold a grudge over him. _And you were going to piss him the hell off._

The short man crossed his arms, letting out a petit sigh as he momentarily narrowed his eyes at your child-like behaviour, "Fine. But like you had to with (Y/N), have him back by dinner time."

"Thank you!" she said, a bright and wide smile to be found dancing on her lips as she turned to the young shifter, "Eren, did you hear that?! Go get ready!"

Eren froze for a mere second as the girl already started running off and back to her horse, and it was only when she jumped up and let out a, "Yahoo!" that he was struck out of his stupor and jogged over to his mare, "Hey (Y/N)," Levi started, not looking to you as he warily watched Hanji, "Make sure shitty glasses doesn't allow Eren to do anything dumb."

"So _don't_ allow Hanji to let Eren rampage around if he isn't in control?" you partially teased, although both you and Levi were aware that the very brunette you were talking about would probably at least contemplate not stopping him if given the chance. His face scrunched up the smallest bit -unnoticeable to the untrained eye- as he replied, "Exactly. Now go."

"Yes, sir!" you gave the man an over-exaggerated salute, soon after running off before he could do anything about the way you were jesting around him. "You guys are _so slow_ , c'mon!" Hanji said, dragging out the words 'so' and 'slow' with curious, exhilarated spheres and animatedly waving her arm for both you and Eren to get on your horses, indicating for you to go over to the testing area that was already set up in the forest after -courtesy of Hanji's squad.

You threw a look back at your squad, seeing the four of them watching you all head off and feeling a pang of guilt hit your stomach since you hadn't really spoken to them, ' _I've been so busy with planning the contraption that I've completely forgotten about visiting them... Maybe I can include them on my revenge on Levi? I mean, I know for a fact that Gunther and Eld would be down, but I'm not completely sure about the other two -er, three, rather. Nonetheless, I'll have to ask Hanji if I can stop by them sometime soon._ ' Not seeing anything that you could do about it at the moment, you gave the three men and woman a wave, sending an apologetic smile that they returned with a different emotion -happiness; given that you had remembered them amidst all of the chaos.

You hoped on your horse, trying to focus yourself back to what you were doing, ' _I can't wait to see how this goes! ...hopefully Eren's able to transform this time._ '

**Saturday, June 15th, 850 at 15:28**

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"What're we testing for again, Section Commander Hanji?" the boy innocently asked, either not have been paying attention before to what Hanji was saying or having simply forgotten, "Well Eren," she started, looking to the void space in the middle of the forest the four of you had pretty much just arrived in -the perfect condition to test out your new inventions, "(Y/N) and I want new titans, and Erwin wants a... _safer_ approach to obtaining them. That's where you come in." She continued to explain what Eren would do in only minutes as you took in the scenery nature provided -the trees were tall, vibrant and plenty everywhere except for a lopsided giant circle where you guys were standing. Hidden among the branches were the Barrel-Spear-Thingies that you and Hanji created, and at each station where one was held was a soldier under Hanji's command, waiting for Hanji's signal to shoot them off and -hopefully- into the flesh of a completely rational titan.

"After you transform, I'll signal with my flare gun for you to go back about eighty meters." she spoke with a tap of her hand to the side holster holding her gun, "Then we'll tell you to run into this clearing, where another flare'll be sent off for everyone to set off our creation. We're hoping that you'll be stuck within our contraption, and if you are, I want you to try and break yourself free from them the best you can, ok?" she explained, arms restless at her sides as she explained happily what was to happen -and threw her thumb in your direction when she said _our creation_ , something your hyperactive mind took note of and was pleased about.

Jaeger's short brown hair became restless as he gave his head a sharp and curt nod, showing his understanding of the events that were supposed to follow his transformation with his lively azure eyes, "Good! Then we'll back up, and once I tell you to, you're good to go and transform. Once everything's said and done, I'll shoot off a yellow flare for everyone to get to their horses and report to HQ." With nothing more said to him -you supposed that she was just _that_ excited to get things going- she tugged on your jacket sleeve as she started to back up, "C'mon (Y/N), let's get this started!"

Her smile was contagious it seemed, the infectious action causing a similar one to fabricate on your lips as you felt butterflies in your stomach, ' _I wish she grabbed my hand instead._ '

"I really hope this works," you started, focusing your attention for seemingly the millionth time on the subject at hand, "I mean, all this work we put into this, it's insane, y'know?"

"Definitely," she agreed, kicking her foot at the ground through the slightly damp grass -the morning dew that you could feel wettening your own boots still coating the blades slightly, given that the leaves above protected them from evaporating under the sun's harsh rays, "But even if it doesn't, we'll figure out something." The conversation was cut short by Moblit, the caramel headed male swinging down from a tree above and hitting his rubber and leather boots to the harsh ground, soon jogging over to the both of you who were just about to the sidelines, "Everyone up there is set to go, ready when you are, captain, section commander."

The brunette at your side sent you a nerve-wracking smile, that effect she always seemed to have on you present as she asked you a question, "You ready, (L/N)?" In return, you flashed her a confident, toothy grin, "As I'll ever be, Zoë." Then -after a quick fix of her goggles on her face- she took the flare gun she was carrying out of her side holster, and covered her ears, looking to you for a second to make sure that your ears were covered before she straightened her right arm holding up the gun and shooting it, a green streak of smoke breaking throughout the sky.

 _Bang_.

A bright flash of orange and yellow flashed before your eyes, momentarily shocking you as you observed the fifteen-meter titan that was standing tall above the slight fog of steam that was produced from his transformation. Eren's titan's hair was longer than the proportional equivalent of his actual haircut, the straight strands of a dark brown messy and touching his shoulders as his almost seeming-to-glow teal hues glared down on you, Hanji and Moblit, waiting for an order. You were only snapped out of your astoundment when Hanji cleared her throat, "A-Ah, that's right..." she muttered to herself, forcing herself to get over the fascination -that you were also just now trying to get over- for the appearing-out-of-air titan, filling her lungs with plenty of oxygen before yelling for him to hear, "EREN, WALK BACK ABOUT EIGHTY METERS, OK?!" She exaggeratedly pointed her one arm in the direction in front of her, wobbling slightly at the action before freezing at the nod the shifter gave -turning around and doing as told.

Sneaking a glance at the said woman, you saw a faint blush decorating her cheeks at the titan's compliance -and despite the innocence the tinted joues held, you still couldn't help the negative feeling twisting in the pit of your stomach as you looked away from her, more towards the ground in a small jealousy you had to hold back.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Moblit gently bumped his arm into yours, sending you a friendly beam as he spoke, "Maybe we should start asking them to just go away if it's this easy, huh?"

Instantaneously you saw through the reason at his quip, ' _He's trying to cheer me up, isn't he? Oh Moblit, you're such a great friend..._ ' Letting out a laugh, you rolled your eyes at him and bumped back into him slightly, trying your best to forget about Hanji's reaction to titan Eren's obedience by losing yourself in conversation, "Hey, I mean, have _you_ tried it? We can't be certain that it won't work for sure." Sassily putting your hands on your hips, you turned your head towards him with a raised brow and waited for a response.

He let out a jovial scoff -something you would almost deem abnormal for the male, yet not pondering over it for long, "I'm sure _someone_ out there has tried it."

"But can you be _sure_ that som-"

"Guys! C'mon, we need to focus here." Immediately you snapped your attention back to Hanji, seeing a frown weigh on her lips as she held her arms crossed against her chest, ' _Shit, I always manage to make her upset, don't I? And I mean, this time it is one hundred percent on me, I should be focused right now, not joking around with Moblit._ ' Your expression once again became downcast, and at the scolding -coming from the woman you had the biggest crush on- you sunk your gaze to the floor once more.

Hanji let out a sigh, softly putting her hand on your shoulder as she tried to gain your attention, "There's no need to be upset," she reassured, seeming to take back her previous words quite quickly, "Here, you can send the next signal if you'd like?"

You quirked a brow at her rapid change, almost asking her aloud about it until you decided that she was probably just being the friendly and kind-hearted person she was, "Sure," came your reply, a faint smile following, "If you wouldn't mind, that is."

"Of course not," she spoke, holding out the flare gun for you, "I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't." The dark chocolate haired section commander let out a small chuckle, one that you returned as you reached out for what she was offering. As soon as your fingers started to grasp around it however, you came in contact with Hanji's own digits -and feeling your cheeks redden the smallest bit, you hurriedly snatched the device out of her hold before your blush could get worse.

Without risking a look back at the girl, you focused your (E/C) spheres ahead and on the goal as you got ready to shoot off the flare that would signal Eren to run forwards. You waited a few seconds to make sure that everyone was ready before pushing the trigger to the firearm with your pointer finger with closed eyes, feeling the strong recoil roll throughout your body as the shot went off.

_Boom, boom, boom, boom._

As soon as the gun went off thuds could be heard, the pounding of the shifter's feet to the hard ground causing you to shake a little on the ground. Fixing your legs in a better stance to hold yourself upright, you watched as the teen in a beast's body neared the three of you on the ground, ' _So similar to an actual titan, and yet I've never seen one run so normally like this before. It's so... strange. I kinda wonder if Eren would be able to teach other titans how to run more normally, or wait a second... maybe he's even able to communicate with them?? No, surely he would've mentioned something about it by now, so-_ '

"-/N), now!"

' _Huh?!_ ' Before you could do anything or understand what she was talking about, Hanji snuck her way to your hand that was holding the flare gun and grasped it in her own hand over yours, lifting it up and getting it in the position to shoot it off as she took her free hand and covered your exposed ear with her palm, your -once again- raised arm covering the other. Her hold tightened briefly as she triggered the apparatus, telling the soldiers hiding among the leaves that it was time to set off your invention with a single shot of green residue in the sky. Her personnel obeyed her command, sending the spear-like projectiles towards the shifter who had just entered where they were pointed. You couldn't bring yourself to focus too much on that, despite the flashy and interesting show it displayed, your attention was centred on the woman's hand that was sending its own sparks through you, a tiny rush of blood accompanying your face as she didn't let go just yet.

It was only when Eren was fully contained in the trap that she released her grip, but not moving back to her original place as she continued to watch the spectacle, you soon doing the same to get your mind off of what the brunette just did, ' _C'mon (Y/N), I need you to be focused, not losing yourself over silly, teenage girl things!_ '

The shifter's body paused within its ensnarement for a concise moment, all the spearheads embedded deep within its skin -a sparse ribbon of titan steam able to be found pouring out of each laceration, clouding around the muscular build in an almost haunting way.

" ** _Arghhhhhhhhh!_** "

It then let out an ear-piercing scream, causing you -and you guessed everyone else around you as well- to instinctively cover your ears as you stared on with wide eyes, the fettered limbs of the titan wailing about and kicking around as it tried to free itself. It was relentless, pulling and tugging against its capture as it let out more grunts and screams of effort -something you guessed Eren wasn't really thinking about as he struggled within the trap. All of the work wasn't wasted it seemed however, because after a few moments more of wrestling with the wires, the male was able to free his one arm enough to start using a more logical approach to liberating his titan body -first freeing its other arm, and then its legs to the point where he could simply kick off the remaining spears rooted in its skin. Your widened eyes watched as it stumbled the smallest bit from the last kick of its leg he used to free himself, soon composing himself and looking down at you, the female and man close to you -presumably for further instruction, ' _Dear Rose... If I didn't know that he was Eren and that he's in control of himself, I'd be scared out of my mind right now. Although, to be fair I probably wouldn't be just standing on the ground like this if that titan wasn't Eren._ '

"Hmmm..." Hanji hummed as she brought a hand to her chin, slightly rubbing it as she lost herself in thought with her orbs remained trained on the ground -them staring through her goggles that were partially covered by her oaken bangs before she looked up to you and spoke up with pensive features, "...I think his regenerative ability is hurting him here."

' _Huh?_ ' You tore your (E/C) spheres away from her mahogany ones as you looked at the fifteen-meter shifter before you, replaying the prior events in your head, ' _Well, I know that he was healing himself for a fact, all that steam is a strong testimony to that. And I suppose that once the spearheads are stuck in his skin, he'll start to heal, and if he starts to heal with them embedded in his skin, it's kinda like reinforcing them in a sense, isn't it?_ '

"I see what you mean," you spoke, "I think you're right. And even though he was able to get out, it clearly wasn't easy for him to do so -even with half the amount of spears we hope to have in the future."

"Exactly, with double the spears, I genuinely believe that our creation would be able to stop any kind of titan in their tracks. Especially with this whole regeneration thing, y'know?"

Nodding your head, you gave her a smile, "I think we did it Hanji, I think we have nothing to worry about." Your heart melted as she returned the favour, a dazzling, confident and hopeful curve tugging on her lips as she directed her gaze at you, "Me too," she replied before pausing for a second, now turning her attention to the shifter who was still waiting for further command, cupping her hands to her mouth, "HEY EREN, YOU CAN COME OUT NOW!"

The teen gave a nod, green eyes seeming to stare you down in a creepy manner with their slight luminescence -but you supposed that it was entirely unintentional, after all, he can't help how creepy he looks in titan form at times. The titan's knees then hit the ground as they gave out, its body momentarily sitting up before its upper torso fell forwards and slammed down, causing you to feel a false wind push against you as its arms flailed down naturally at its sides, Eren's titan's body face planted into the ground, ' _Ouch..._ '

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It didn't take long for the three of you to make your way over to Eren's decaying titan body, his actual torso sticking out of the fabricated nape with muscle fibres connecting him to his creation, ' _Especially around his eyes,_ ' you noted, ' _There's a whole bunch of them underneath his eyes. This didn't happen when he tried to pick up that spoon a while ago, that I'm sure about. Also, I wonder if he can feel those..._ '

"Eren? You can come out now." Hanji spoke, regarding the young male with a hint of concern -for the past few seconds or so, the teen has just been sitting at the top of his nape, unresponsive yet still breathing it seemed. ' _I can't just stand here and watch this,_ ' you reasoned with yourself, ' _Besides, it's not like he's going to do much harm in this state. I just hope he's like this because he's tired, and not because of anything else..._ ' Cautiously, you took a few steps forwards towards the steaming corpse, having the full intent of using your 3DMG to get up there and help him down as you took out your blades, ' _Even if I burn myself a little, I'd much rather deal with a few burns that have something happen to the kid. Not only would I feel guilty, but Levi would be on my ass. And I_ do not _want him threatening me again._ '

Your body involuntarily shivered as the events played through your head, soon after focusing yourself back on track, "I'm coming up! Ok, Eren?"

A hand grasped onto your shoulder mere seconds before you shot yourself up, stopping the process prematurely, "Captain (Y/N), are you sure? You might burn yourself..." The concerned hues of a chestnut met to yours as Moblit tried to intervene, "Eh, I'll be _fine_ Mobby. You worry too much." With a light chuckle and shake of your head, you brushed his concern off and directed your wires in the way you wanted them to go, shooting them off and soon after landing on the vanishing cadaver with a puff of gas. Putting your blades away in their slots at your hips, you took the few steps carefully to get to the boy -who seemed to be mostly fine, just extremely tired, ' _Thank the Walls! Now to just get him out of here..._ '

Going behind him, you put your legs on both sides of him and your elbows underneath his armpits, bending your arms so your balled fists were two or three centimetres away from the sides of his head before pushing with your legs and pulling with your arms as hard as you could. You tried with all of your might to get him out of there, becoming more and more aware of the heat the titan body made as it seemed to seep through your clothes and the soles of your boots. Grunting with effort, you had completely lost yourself in the task of getting the youthful shifter until you heard a voice directly behind you, "Captain, try pulling him this way!"

Moblit joined your left side, tugging the boy out alongside you as he reached around his stomach and -as you had- tried the best he could to pull the teenager out. "Good idea!" you shouted back through gritted teeth, straining yourself under the work you were doing and angling your legs a little better on the titan flesh to push yourself towards the caramel headed male. It didn't take much longer for the two of you to work the soldier out of his own ensnarement.

Unfortunately for the three of you however, it ended with everyone flinging off of the body from the sheer force that was being used.

Tumbling slightly, you found yourself flying through the air and trying to shield your face the best you could before you eventually landed on the harsh ground, knees and elbows sinking into the dirt a little as they created dents on impact as you rolled to a stop. Or rather, you _thought_ that once you reached the terrain it would have been hard and unforgiving -but instead of that, you found yourself falling onto something soft.

" _Oof!_ "

Immediately opening your eyes once you felt yourself on the ground, at first you were startled to see a deep shade of blue, the calm navy going unrecognized until you put your hands to the surface and pushed yourself to sit up, soon realizing after what happened, "The Walls, I'm so sorry Moblit!" you cried as you partly froze on the male's stomach, face red as your inner embarrassment came out to show, you pulling your hands up to your face in an attempt to hide said embarrassment as you willed your mostly unresponsive body to move off of him. A similar shade was able to be found on his own cheeks, and Moblit's partially mortified hues focused onto yours for a brief instant before zoning onto something -or _someone_ \- behind you.

Strong hands gripped you at your sides, and once again you found yourself moving involuntarily as you were snatched off of the helpful assistant with your feet soon planted on the ground. The culprit was Hanji, the woman who had taken you off of the soldier raising an annoyed brow with a frown present on her face once more, her orbs running across your body as she checked you for any injuries silently. Once content with your state, she turned her focus to Moblit, putting her hands on her hips as she looked down to him, "Are you ok, Moblit?"

"Y-Yes, section commander." he confirmed with a partly pained stutter, and you felt guilt run deep through you, ' _I can't imagine it felt good to be slammed into the ground and be fallen on top of at the same time... And on top of that, Hanji seems upset for the second time today, and yet_ again _, I have no clue what for._ '

"Good." she curtly spoke, "Then take Eren back to HQ, we'll ask him about how he feels and return him to Levi later. Got it?"

He sat himself up, before successfully willing himself to stand upright and give a salute -one that you noticed wasn't as strong as his usually were- before making his way over to Eren and picking up the surprisingly still sleeping male, ' _Geez, that shift really must've taken a lot outta him, maybe it was all of that struggling that really tuckered him out...?_ '

Once Moblit had gotten a good bit through his journey to the horses, Hanji took out the flare gun she had once put back in its holster with narrowed eyes, an overall discontent look splayed across her features, ' _I need to ask her what's wrong, maybe I can fix this._ ' The section commander put a yellow shell into it and without a second thought, shot it off -not even bothering to wait to give you the chance to cover your ears or even cover her own as she instinctively squinted her optics.

The amber smoke decorated the sky, and soon after you could hear many shots of 3DMG go off as soldiers fell from the trees, all of them heading over to their horses in a rhythmic, paced footfall once their boots hit the ground. You weren't paying attention to that though. Instead, you were frowning as you watched Hanji start to storm off, observing the way she seemed to angrily jam her flare gun where it belonged, ' _No! I need to talk to her, she has to at least tell me what I'm doing that's annoying her, otherwise I'm never going to learn!_ ' Sprinting forwards, you grasped your dominant hand onto Hanji's arm, stopping her in her tracks as she spun on her heel and backed away from you, pulling her arm out of your grasp, " _What._ "

At her harsh word and actions you slightly hesitated, halting for a minute before looking the furious woman in her eyes. Those once gentle and calm colours of brown had morphed into an irritated sepia, almost challenging you to speak as she continued to stare you down, "Hanji, what's... what's wrong? This isn't like you at all." you reasoned with her, boring your pleading and hurt (E/C) eyes into hers the best you could, refusing to break eye contact, ' _I can't, not right now. Otherwise she might get away without explaining herself._ '

Her face broke for a second, and she looked terribly torn over something as she dropped her gaze to the ground, face slightly shaded by her messy tresses as she contemplated by herself. Then her voice spoke, so tender and quiet that you could barely hear it, "ᴵ .... ....." You took a small step closer to her, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Her head snapped up and she redid the distance between you both, momentarily looking at you once again before she stared wide-eyed at the ground, clearly stressed with a clenched jaw. In that one moment where she looked at you, you could see something building up in that head of hers -something that she was hiding and currently being torn apart over. You almost spoke up again when she interrupted you, turning herself to you fully as she once again clashed her cinnamon hues against yours in a clear distress.

"God damn it, I'm _jealous_ (Y/N)!"

' _Wait, what?_ '

"I like you so fucking much and it _hurts_! It hurts _every time_ I see you smile at him, _every time_ the two of you get closer, _every time_ the two of you share a joke! I feel like I'm going _insane_ trying to prevent the inevitable, and I don't know what to do anymore!"

' _..._ ' your mind went blank as you felt your face -for seemingly the millionth time that day- heat up, staring wide-eyed at the brightly coloured face of the section commander, "Hanji, who are you-... ʸᵒᵘ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ..."

Her face became considerably more downcast as she refused to look up to you, "Look, I'm sorry (Y/N), just... just forget I said anything, ok?"

"Hanji, no... I-" you paused for a moment, before deciding that now was the best time to confess to her -given as she seemed to return your feelings, "I like you too. L-Like a _lot_."

She ran her right hand over her face, "(Y/N), you don't have to worry about me being hurt, I'll be fine, really." her words seemed as if they would be reassuring, but the small crack in her voice told you otherwise, "Just go be happy with Moblit, ok? I've seen the way you laugh around him, the way you smile at him, the way you're all touchy-feely with him... Hell, just now you were _blushing_ because of him." She gestured her hand out to where you had fallen on top of Moblit, hand falling to her side and clapping on her thigh as she let out a sigh.

You walked closer to the girl, this time more speedily as to not allow her to recreate the distance between you both, "No, I can't because I wouldn't be happy with him. It's _you_ who I like, I mean, look at me..." you trailed off as you looked to the ground, not being able to see it but rather feeling Hanji's eyes roam over your face, "I'm a mess right now, Hanji. My face feels like it's burning hot, and... a-and it only ever really gets this way around you." you nervously giggled a little at the situation and gently grabbed one of her hands, holding it to your cheek and letting her feel for herself the heat hidden beneath the skin.

She traced her honeyed spheres over your face, tracing the outline of your face, your cheekbones, and your own eyes as she spoke up a little, "...Really...?"

You could feel your blush somehow deepen as you looked off to the side a little, revelling in the touch she gave when she softly rubbed your cheek with her thumb, "H-Honest, Hanji."

"ˢˡᵃᵖ ᵐᵉ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗʰⁱˢ..." You could barely make out Hanji's words -and were about to ask her what she had said when you were cut off, a pair of soft and plump lips meeting your own as Hanji kissed you sweetly. You had just started to mould your lips to hers, enjoying the warm feeling it produced within you, when she gently pulled back -leaving you craving more and wanting to feel her mouth once more against your own.

A moment of silence passed, a gentle breeze to be heard as she murmured to you with rosy cheeks, "(Y/N), would you... would you like to go out sometime?" The dumbstruck smile that was on your face from her kiss increased tenfold, "I would love to Hanji."

You hugged her tightly, burying your face into her chest as you felt her heart beating fast, Hanji holding you just as tight to herself as you were to her with a pleased hum, ' _Today is officially the best day ever._ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 15 December, 2020!
> 
> I'm terribly sorry for the slight delay, although to be fair it isn't really a delay and all of the other chapters were just early haha ^^''


	31. 31║Special Operations Squad

**Saturday, June 29, 850 at 11:54**

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The adrenaline that was surging through your body was akin to a child's trying to steal a cookie from a cookie jar -although, the more you thought about it, the situation that you were currently in wasn't that far off from that exact scenario. You were almost one hundred percent sure that the two males trailing behind you not too far behind were feeling the same rush, seeing as Gunther and Eld were just as quiet and their footfalls sounded just as stiff as yours, "ᴳᵘʸˢ, ᵃᶜᵗ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ⁿᵃᵗᵘʳᵃˡ." you partially hissed out, although it was clear to the both of them that your slightly sharpened tone came from your own anxiety, and not any actual aggression or anger with them, "ᴿᵉᵐᵉᵐᵇᵉʳ, ʷᵉ'ʳᵉ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵍᵒⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᵐʸ ʳᵒᵒᵐ ᵗᵒ ᵖⁱᶜᵏ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍˢ ᵘᵖ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ qᵘⁱᶜᵏ."

If you hadn't been so focused on what you were doing, you were sure that your mind would have drifted off to the oaken-haired girl who had been occupying your mind quite a bit more these past two weeks since you both confessed. You had started today by heading over to the section commander's office in hopes of asking her if you could possibly go on that date with her today, seeing as the time since the idea was proposed was spent in making sure that the production of Special Target Restraining Weapons -as Erwin had renamed it from Barrel-Spear-Thingy, a much more _formal_ name, you had to admit- went smoothly and that the soldiers who were going to possibly be operating them knew how to do so. But when you got there and entered -instead of being greeted by an enthusiastic Hanji like you typically were, a greeting you've grown to adore- the girl was sat at her desk, hair clutched in her left hand as she rested her head upon it and scribbled away on papers with her right. It was only when you asked her what she was doing that you understood; seeing that early tomorrow morning the fifty-seventh expedition was taking place, the high-ranking girl had quite a bit of work to do. And it was enough to upset you that she had to spend what should have been a free day inside, hard at work, nevermind the date -so you came to the conclusion that it was best to get in and out of there. You had made up your mind on the spot that you would ask her if you could spend the day training with the Special Operations Squad, and she granted you permission without a second thought.

It was then that you decided to take your leave, but before you could get through the door she had stopped you by calling out your name, " _(Y/N)!_ " she had called out, pausing her writing as she met her cocoa hues to yours -a charming aspect about them as she smiled up to you, " _Are you free tonight?_ " And it wasn't too long after that -with the exchange of a few more words, mainly an agreement on your part- the both of you had agreed to meet up for Hanji to take you somewhere later tonight once she had finished all of her paperwork. You weren't quite sure where it would be, but you were excited and curious to find out -that's for sure, ' _I just hope I get to kiss her again,_ ' you admitted to yourself, ' _It's been driving me crazy not being able to do anything more than a hug or two._ '

You shook your head, not having realised that -for quite possibly the hundredth time since this morning- you had let your mind drift off to the busy woman.

Presently, the three of you were making your way down the hallways of the Survey Corps HQ, heading towards Corporal Levi's office. About half an hour ago -after Hanji granted you allowance- you had asked the ravenette if you could simply train with your squad in hopes to; one, spend more time with them and two, annoy the absolute living hell out of Levi for threatening you almost a month ago -perhaps with a few accomplices if you were lucky enough. But what fate had offered you was better than any opportunity you could have wished for. Given that there was a lot to be done paperwork-wise on Levi's part today -you supposed that really all higher-ups were busy with such affairs after hearing that Levi was busy with papers as well- the corporal had actually put you in charge of the Special Operations Squad for the day, instructing you to make sure everything went smoothly training-wise and that everyone stayed on track.

He couldn't have made a dumber call.

' _I personally don't care if he doesn't entrust the Special Operations Squad under my care again,_ ' you reasoned to yourself, although you couldn't deny that it would be absolutely amazing if the chance came up again, ' _Right now, I'm more worried about... Well, being_ petty _, I suppose. Er, I'm hoping to be anyways, I've never really been the best with pranks if I'm to be honest..._ '

Once you had gained control of your fellow squad members -and found out that Levi had to go to Erwin's office to go over a few things, if you had to guess you supposed it was for going over tomorrow once more, ' _Maybe Hanji has to go as well, given that she's a section commander._ '- the first thing you did was go over the plan to get revenge on Levi that you had just conjured. The words you had spoken to them replayed in your head, '" _Ok, so how do you guys feel about dirtying up Levi's office a little, and_ then _going over to train?_ "'

The shocked looks that had been thrown onto all of their faces morphed into either one of two emotions; mischievousness or hesitation. The two portraying the former were Gunther and Eld, your two best friends seeming to be eager to go through with the notion and get some form of payback on the male for all the work he made them do -even if they both respected the corporal greatly. The other three, however, casted the latter, showing their uncertainty clearly as they questioned whether or not to go along with your plan. In the end though, you were able to convince Petra, Oluo and Eren -the boy had been fine after your last experiment with him, he just needed time to heal up- that if anything were to happen, you would take the full blame for it, ' _Not that I can stop Levi from blaming them, but I can certainly try my hardest to make sure they don't get any kind of cleaning duty or punishments. Worst comes to worst, I'll try and do it for them._ '

Then the scheme became fully fleshed out. After a quick consultation, it was decided; you, Eld and Gunther would go into Levi's office and actually mess about -given as the three of you were the most willing to go through with it- and Eren, Oluo and Petra would wait outside the window of Levi's office to give you some dirt in cloth bags and figure out a way to get it up there -seeing as they were the most reluctant to carry out the plan and that if anyone were to be caught, it would be the least likely to be them, and because it would look very suspicious if you carried dirty bags into the HQ- and once they did their part, they were to return to the training grounds as to not look suspicious.

And that led to now, Gunther, Eld and you about to turn a corner as you neared the corporal's office.

"ᵂᵃⁱᵗ," you started, abruptly turning around and causing the two of them to come to a sudden halt -Gunther almost falling over and causing you to put a touch to his shoulder to help him keep upright, Eld aiding the male as well by gently grabbing onto his arm, "ᴵ'ˡˡ ᵍᵒ ᶠⁱʳˢᵗ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵏⁿᵒᶜᵏ ᵃᵗ ʰⁱˢ ᵈᵒᵒʳ. ᴵᶠ ʰᵉ'ˢ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ, ʷᵉ'ˡˡ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵃⁿᶜᵉˡ ᵃⁿᵈ ᴵ'ˡˡ ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᵘᵖ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵃⁿ ᵉˣᶜᵘˢᵉ ᵃˢ ᵗᵒ ʷʰʸ ᴵ ʷᵉⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ʰⁱˢ ᵒᶠᶠⁱᶜᵉ. ᴵᶠ ʰᵉ ⁱˢⁿ'ᵗ, ᴵ'ˡˡ ˢⁱᵍⁿᵃˡ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵒᵗʰ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᵒᵛᵉʳ." There was a slight pause as they took what you said in, and after they did, you received a short response from Eld -"ˢᵒᵘⁿᵈˢ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ."- and a nod of his head from Gunther.

With nothing left to discuss, you nodded your own head curtly to the two men -soon after turning the corner and clicking the heels of your boots against the hallway's wooden floor as you neared your destination. Once you reached the door with the shiny plaque -reading _Levi Ackerman, Corporal_ in its inscription- you placed a knock upon it and held your breath.

One second passed. Then two, and then three.

Soon enough you found yourself standing outside an unresponsive door, leading you to grasp your palm around the metallic knob on its left and twist it ever so slightly -the portal opening and allowing you inside, ' _It's not locked? I thought I was going to have to try lock picking it... Not that I exactly know how to, but still._ ' you admitted to yourself, ' _I guess that means that he doesn't plan to stay out for long though, we should hurry._ ' Peeking your head in and confirming that no one was inside, you looked over to the two heads looking at you from across the hallway and ushered them closer, the two you had addressed soon coming over to continue the plan at your verification that the room was void of the corporal.

Letting out a breath of air you didn't know you were holding, you looked over to your best friends as you closed the door with your back and whispered, "ᵂᵉˡˡ, ʷᵉ'ᵛᵉ ᵐᵃᵈᵉ ⁱᵗ." You sent a smile to them before locking the door in case he came back, one that they returned as they experienced the same rush of -good- anxiety as you were, "ᴸᵒᵒᵏˢ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ʷᵉ ʰᵃᵛᵉ," Gunther agreed, glancing about the room as he drank it in, "ᴵᵗ'ˢ ˢᵒ ˢᵗʳᵃⁿᵍᵉ ⁱⁿ ʰᵉʳᵉ ʷⁱᵗʰᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒʳᵖᵒʳᵃˡ."

"ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ʷʳᵒⁿᵍ." Eld said as he shared the same sentiment, breaking off from the two of you as he took a few steps closer to the desk in the room. Said room was almost identical to Hanji's -and consequentially, yours as well- the only real difference being that the papers upon the mahogany desk were neat and organised, and the table was void of notes and paperwork. ' _I can only imagine how immaculate the bathroom and bedroom are in comparison to Hanji's... no, just in general, really._ ' you thought to yourself, eyes shifting over to the two rooms attached to the left side of the place as you made your way across the silent, noiseless floor, ' _We don't need to check that though, not yet anyways. We might need to when it comes to messing up some things, but that's still up in the air._ '

After a second you reached the window that was behind the bureau, and with a slight smirk you looked at the multiple documents that seemed to be in some organised manner, "ᴬᶠᵗᵉʳ ʷᵉ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈⁱʳᵗ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗʰᵉᵐ ʷᵉ ˢʰᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵐⁱˣ ᵘᵖ ʰⁱˢ ᵖᵃᵖᵉʳˢ ᵃ ᵇⁱᵗ, ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵈᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ?"

Gunther only gave you an impish grin as he came up to your one side, standing to the left of the window, "ᴵ'ᵐ ᵈᵒʷⁿ." The taller, blonde male who was standing right behind the corporal's chair -that was tucked neatly behind the desk- let out a hum of approval before opening his mouth, "ᴺᵉˣᵗ ˢᵗᵉᵖ ⁱˢ... ᵍᵉᵗᵗⁱⁿᵍ ⁱᵗ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗʰᵉᵐ?" His query referenced the dirt bags that the other three were supposedly right outside Levi's window with, and you peered your (E/C) orbs into his amber ones before giving a finalizing nod, "ʸᵘᵖ."

Eld then stepped out of your way as you reached for the easy lock mechanism on the soldier's window, unhitching it and listening to the high-pitched clink it produced when metal hit glass. Placing your hand upon the tiny handle attached to the frame of the glass, you pushed outwards and opened the pane, feeling a soft breeze blow through at your actions and causing you to momentarily bask in it as you closed your eyes in contentedness. As soon as you started to enjoy the feeling though, you forced your spheres open once more and poked your head past the frame, looking downwards as you put both your arms on the window sill. Feeling Gunther leaning over your head on your left and Eld doing the same now on your right, a curvature fabricated on your lips when you saw the rest of the Special Operations Squad -Oluo and Petra conversing as Eren seemed to awkwardly stand there, two average-sized, cloth bags held in his hands with one more resting upon the ground at his feet. His turquoise orbs met yours, and you could see his eyes widen the smallest bit before he tried to get Oluo and Petra's attention.

His attempts were futile however, given that the two of them were deep in conversation -something you grinned at, seeing Petra talking to her crush so smoothly two stories below you, ' _She's handling it better than I did with Hanji, anyways..._ ' You shook your head, snapping back into it when you heard Gunther whisper-yell at them, "ᴳᵘʸˢ, ⁿᵒʷ ⁱˢⁿ'ᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ᶠˡⁱʳᵗⁱⁿᵍ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵉᵃᶜʰ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ!"

Sputtering could be heard from below, and it didn't take you long to figure out where it came from -both Petra and Oluo's faces were red, and they looked up at Gunther in partial surprise, embarrassment and annoyance as they stuttered out their opposition to what he had said. You however paid it no mind, taking in Eld's words as he spoke them to your right side with a sigh, "ᵀʰᵉʸ'ᵛᵉ ᵇᵉᵉⁿ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᶠᵒʳ ᵐᵒⁿᵗʰˢ ⁿᵒʷ ⁽ʸ/ᴺ⁾, ⁱᵗ'ˢ ⁱⁿˢᵃⁿᵉ..."

"ᵀᵉˡˡ ᵐᵉ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ⁱᵗ," Gunther agreed, only confirming any possible doubt that you could have -even though you had none, "ˢᵒᵐᵉ ᵈᵃʸˢ ⁱᵗ ˢᵉᵉᵐˢ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ⁱᵗ'ˡˡ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ˢᵗᵒᵖ." You sniggered a bit, bringing a hand to your mouth as you let out a few giggles at their expense, "ˢᵒᵘⁿᵈˢ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉⁿ'ᵗ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ᵐⁱˢˢᵉᵈ ᵐᵘᶜʰ ᵗʰᵉⁿ, ʰᵘʰ?"

"ᴺᵒᵖᵉ," the brown-eyed soldier said as he popped the 'p' in his response. Letting out one last amused huff of air, you turned your attention back to what was happening outside the window -only to break out laughing once more as you desperately tried to muffle the sound with your dominant hand. At first, the two men at your sides had been greatly startled, but once they gazed down to see what was going on as well, they also barked out their own stifled laughs, Eld doubling over the smallest bit as Petra shouted a, "ᴮᵉ qᵘⁱᵉᵗ!" from outside.

There -a good five to six metres below- stood Oluo. Behind him was Eren with his knees partially bent, his hands cupped before the joint in a quickly manmade ladder for Petra to climb on top of. Said girl was getting on Oluo's shoulders, hoisting herself up with the help of Eren as she used the wall of the HQ that they were standing outside of for extra stability, Oluo somehow managing to stand upright as the strawberry blonde woman carefully and slowly placed her feet on his shoulders -soon enough balancing herself out as she made sure to keep a hand to the building's wall at all times. Oluo wrapped his hands around her ankles to try and prevent her falling, and Eren was grabbing a grey bag to hand to the girl before standing behind them both and getting ready to attempt to catch her should she start to fall.

It was only when Petra called for your attention again that you were able to refocus, wiping a starting-to-form tear from the corner of your eye as before latching your one hand on the window sill and bending over, reaching as far down as you could with your dominant hand as you wiggled your fingers to grab at the bag. Despite both you and Petra's best efforts however, the bag was still a good metre or so too far for you to get a hold of it. Her reddish-brown eyes bore into yours as she pushed a little further with the bag to give it to you, but to no avail.

Backing up, you let out a puff of air, ' _I bet if Hanji was here this would already be up here. No, no, scratch that. We wouldn't be having this problem right now because she would've just brought these bags in through the front door._ ' At the thought you let out a small giggle, only bringing yourself back to what you were doing when you remembered the situation at hand. Not wasting a second more, you straightened yourself out as your eyes immediately flew to Eld seeing as he was the tallest out of the three of you -and you couldn't help but find it humorous when the golden-haired man let out a groan of annoyance, a similar look able to be seen sent to him from Gunther in your peripheral vision, "ᶠⁱⁿᵉ, ᶠⁱⁿᵉ," he gave in as he put his hands to the side of his head in a mock surrender, "ᴵ'ˡˡ ᵈᵒ ⁱᵗ."

A call came from outside, the voice being recognized by you as Oluo's, "ᵂʰᵃᵗᵉᵛᵉʳ ʰᵉ'ˢ ᵍᵒⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᵈᵒ, ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒ ⁱᵗ qᵘⁱᶜᵏˡʸ!" he spat out, most likely struggling to balance Petra at this point despite the added stabilization of the immobile HQ.

Eld then did the same as you had, putting his one hand to the sill of the window before reaching as far as he could to grab onto the filled cloth bag. It was to your utter surprise when the man pulled himself back over the ledge, hands empty as he revealed that he too had been unable to obtain the sack.

"ᵂᵉˡˡ ᵈᵃᵐⁿ..." you trailed off, pondering over a way to get one of you low enough to clasp onto the cloth, ' _Well, it's not like they can exactly go any higher, I mean, Petra is standing on Oluo's shoulders, and while Eren_ is _taller than Petra, he also weighs more. And even though exchanging Petra out for Eren might close the distance, Oluo might not be able to take that extra weight given that it seems to be a struggle to balance with just Petra. We can't just throw it in either, if we manage to spill the dirt out of the bag, it'll be pretty obvious as to who did it given that the training grounds aren't too far from here. Levi would at least expect for us to have seen who did it, that's for sure._ ' You furrowed your brows as you worked things out, missing the way that Gunther and Eld looked to each other with mischievous sourires, the former speaking up to present the idea they wordlessly shared, "ᴴᵉʸ ⁽ʸ/ᴺ⁾, ᴵ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ʷᵉ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵃⁿ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵐⁱᵍʰᵗ ʷᵒʳᵏ..."

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"ˢᵗᵒᵖ ˡᵃᵘᵍʰⁱⁿᵍ...!" you whined as you heard laughter emanating from both Eld and Gunther, the two of them seeming to find this _totally-not-amusing-in-any-way-shape-or-form_ circumstance funny. ' _I'm not even sure if this is worth it at this point, I think it might've been better for me to have just risked getting caught bringing bags of dirt into Levi's office than this if I'm going to be honest. Or even do this at all, actually._ '

Currently you were hanging halfway out of the window, the hands of your best friends grasped tightly around your ankles as they slowly lowered you closer and closer to the redhead offering up the last bag that was just centimetres out of your grasp. "ᴰᵘᵈᵉ, ʷᵉ ˢʰᵒᵘˡᵈ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵈʳᵒᵖ ʰᵉʳ." you heard a mutter come from behind you, and a warm chuckle that sounded behind yet above you as you rolled your eyes, "ᴱˡᵈ, ᵗʰᵃᵗ ⁱˢ ᵗʰᵉ _ᵇᵉˢᵗ_ ᵖˡᵃⁿ ᴵ'ᵛᵉ _ᵉᵛᵉʳ_ ʰᵉᵃʳᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵃʸ."

Your fingers latched onto the sack, ' _For the love of Sina, if they actually drop me..._ ' A gasp escaped your throat as you felt yourself suddenly lower, your eyes going wide as you brought your arms closer to your face to try and shield yourself from the ground -and Oluo and Petra- the best you could. Yet the rapid descent stopped after a moment, and it was only when you heard laughter ring out from the window that you knew what had actually happened, "ᵀʰᵉ ᵂᵃˡˡˢ, ᴱˡᵈ, ᴳᵘⁿᵗʰᵉʳ, ᵇʳⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵉ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ ᵘᵖ _ⁿᵒᵒᵒʷʷʷʷ_!" you spoke as you stretched out the last word. And even though the fright of it all had given you a good scare, you couldn't help but smile afterwards as their still secure and tight grip pulled you back up and past the window sill -slightly unpleasant, but bearable compared to what you had felt in the past, ' _I mean, I know I've fallen from higher before, but all the other times I at least had 3DMG on. Here, I've got nothing._ '

They both grabbed your arms and helped you stand upright while chortling to themselves, and once you were on both of your feet again you gave the two of them a playful shove, "ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵘʸˢ ᵃʳᵉ ˡᵘᶜᵏʸ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ᵐʸ _ᵇᵉˢᵗⁱᵉˢ_ ," you started, grin growing when you heard falsely bothered grunts come from them at the nickname, a reaction you knew you were pretty much guaranteed after using the supposedly abhorrent nickname, "ᴼᵗʰᵉʳʷⁱˢᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵐⁱᵍʰᵗ ᶠⁱⁿᵈ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵒʷⁿ ʳᵒᵒᵐ ᶜᵒᵛᵉʳᵉᵈ ⁱⁿ ᵈⁱʳᵗ ⁿᵉˣᵗ ʷᵉᵉᵏ."

"ʸᵉᵃʰ, ʸᵉᵃʰ, _ˢᵘʳᵉ_." Gunther teased as he picked up one of the bags that had been previously brought up, taking the second one and handing it to Eld -who gave him an appreciative nod of his head in a silent thanks. "ᴸᵉᵗ'ˢ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᵃˡʳᵉᵃᵈʸ ᵇᵉᶠᵒʳᵉ ʷᵉ ᵍᵉᵗ ᶜᵃᵘᵍʰᵗ."

As much as you wanted to continue this banter with the male, you knew that he was right in the end, "ᵀʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ᶠᵃⁱʳ, ⁱⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒᵘᵗ, qᵘⁱᶜᵏ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵉᵃˢʸ."

It was only when you had gotten the dirt and were ready to spread it that you realised that you truly didn't have any clue as to where you should actually put it, ' _Well, I suppose we shouldn't be too mean given that tomorrow is the expedition,_ ' the angel in you reasoned, ' _But then again, he threatened me..._ ' the devil on your shoulder countered, the inner bickering of your thoughts continuing further, ' _To be fair though, it wasn't his choice, Erwin commanded him to, and he even stuck up for me a little at the end! Although Hanji did first, and if it weren't for her, I might be dead where I stand... Ah, Hanji. I wish she was here, she'd know what to do._ '

"ᴴᵉʸ, ⁽ʸ/ᴺ⁾?"

"ᴴᵘʰ? ʸᵉˢ, ᴱˡᵈ?"

"ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᵃʳᵉ ʷᵉ ˢᵘᵖᵖᵒˢᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵈᵒ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈⁱʳᵗ ⁿᵒʷ?"

"ᴬʰ, ʷᵉˡˡ, ᴵ ᵍᵘᵉˢˢ ʷᵉ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵉᵗ ⁱᵗ ⁱⁿ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵃᵗ'ˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᵖᵉʳᵐᵃⁿᵉⁿᵗ. ᴹᵃʸᵇᵉ ʷᵉ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ʲᵘˢᵗ ˢᵖʳⁱⁿᵏˡᵉ ⁱᵗ ᵃˡˡ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵍʳᵒᵘⁿᵈ?"

Gunther jumped in, "ᴺᵒ ᵒᶠᶠᵉⁿᶜᵉ ⁽ʸ/ᴺ⁾, ᵇᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˢᵒᵘⁿᵈˢ... ᵏⁱⁿᵈᵃ ˡᵃᵐᵉ."

"ᴴᵉʸ! ᴵ'ᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵃᵐᵉ, ʸᵒᵘ ᵐᵉᵃⁿⁱᵉ." you defended yourself as you gave a playful glare to him.

"ᵂʰᵃᵗᵉᵛᵉʳ ʰᵉˡᵖˢ ʸᵒᵘ ˢˡᵉᵉᵖ ᵃᵗ ⁿⁱᵍʰᵗ."

You ignored their chuckles in a pretend irritation, opting to think about your future actions a second longer, ' _Well, we could hide it in a sense, so then he can't clean it all up at once and keeps on finding it... Yeah, sounds good enough to me._ '

"ᴰᵒᵉˢ ʰⁱᵈⁱⁿᵍ ⁱᵗ ⁱⁿ ʰⁱˢ ᵒᶠᶠⁱᶜᵉ ˢᵒᵘⁿᵈ ˡᵉˢˢ ˡᵃᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ʸᵒᵘ, ᴳᵘⁿᵗʰᵉʳ?"

"ᵂʰʸ ʸᵉˢ, ᵃᶜᵗᵘᵃˡˡʸ. ᴵᵗ ᵈᵒᵉˢ." he revealed with a brightening smile, Eld soon doing the same, "ᴼᵏ, ᵗʰⁱˢ ⁱˢ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿ ᵈᵉᶠⁱⁿⁱᵗᵉˡʸ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵃᵇᵒᵃʳᵈ ʷⁱᵗʰ."

You could feel your nerves build up once more as you beamed your own grin, "ᵂᵉˡˡ, ᵗʰᵉⁿ, ᵈʳᵃʷᵉʳˢ, ᵘⁿᵈᵉʳ ʰⁱˢ ᵇᵉᵈ, ⁱⁿ ʰⁱˢ ᶜˡᵒˢᵉᵗ ᵐᵃʸᵇᵉ... ʸᵒᵘ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈʳⁱˡˡ." The three of you separated in the room as you all got to work, Eld heading into the corporal's bedroom, Gunther into the bathroom, and you staying in his main room -or the one that you more often than not called the office. Heading over to his table, you pulled out one of the chairs and sprinkled some dirt on it -spreading it out with your hand as you slightly coated your fingers in the dusty powder. You pushed the piece of furniture back in and went over to his couch, crouching onto the ground and taking a good handful this time, making sure to spread it out the same way you had done just seconds before. Wiping your hands onto your pants, you went over to his desk to... _reorganise_ the papers upon it, ' _I don't want to get them dirty or anything, that could end up fudging up important papers that Erwin needs. But certainly it wouldn't hurt to have them reordered, right?_ '

Shuffling the papers, you made sure to put them in identical-looking piles -with the same pieces of paper that were on the top and bottom in the same place, just to mess with him a little further. You had gotten through two of the three stacks of paper when you could hear footsteps in the hallway and a very faint grumbling voice that soon followed, one that was well-recognized by you, " _ᵀᶜʰ, ᴵ ˢʰᵒᵘˡᵈⁿ'ᵗ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵗʰⁱˢ._ "

It was instantaneously that Eld and Gunther's faces popped out of their respective rooms, eyes widened in a small fear that you felt just the same. Wordlessly, you rapidly gestured for them to get over to the window with your hands, not hesitating in throwing your sack of dirt out of the window, " _ᴱˡᵈ, ʰᵉˡᵖ ᴳᵘⁿᵗʰᵉʳ ᵈᵒʷⁿ, ᵃⁿᵈ ᴳᵘⁿᵗʰᵉʳ, ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ˢᵘʳᵉ ʰᵉ ᵈᵒᵉˢⁿ'ᵗ ᵍᵉᵗ ʰᵘʳᵗ ʷʰᵉⁿ ʰᵉ ᶠᵃˡˡˢ. ᴵ'ˡˡ ᵍᵒ ᵈᵒʷⁿ ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳʷᵃʳᵈˢ._ ' While it was clear that they didn't like leaving you behind as the last one, it was even clearer to them that time was limited -and that idea only tenfolded when the doorknob jiggled the smallest bit a grunt of confusion following as you were sure the corporal remembered leaving his door unlocked.

The silence that followed that simple action was -to put it lightly- _very dreadful_ for you. You hadn't even realised that the three of you had spaced out while looking at the door in horror until you heard Levi rustle with his clothes -presumably for a key. "ᴳᵒ, ⁿᵒʷ!" you urged deadenly, watching as Gunther practically threw himself out of the window with his only lifeline being Eld's hands, him flashing you one last look with creased brows as he noiselessly expressed his concern for you. More turns came from the door, and it was to your utter despair that you realised that the door was going to open before all of you were able to get out. Eld was just about to lower himself down to where Gunther could help him out when he stopped for a moment, looking at you in worry with his yellow spheres, ' _No, there's no point in all three of us getting in trouble if it was all my idea to begin with!_ '

You ducked underneath his desk as you once again waved your hand in a hurried motion to tell him to run off, and that you'd be fine and manage on your own. Partially lunging forwards, you had just enough time to shut -but not lock- Levi's window and get underneath the desk in a pitiful attempt of hiding yourself between his bureau and desk chair, ' _Last time I was sneaking in a higher-up's office I froze on the spot and got caught, I'm not about to repeat what happened last time in Hanji's office with Levi, no way._

Then the door opened, and boots could be heard landing on the wooden floorboards as they slowed approached closer -almost teasingly slow as he remained mute. No word was spoken as you held your breath, knees curled up to your chest and a hand plastered to your mouth to make sure that you didn't accidentally let out a peep -your eyes trying to watch for any shadows that could tell you exactly where he was, ' _Ok, if he finds me, I'll just tell him that I put Gunther in charge of the squad and decided to hide under his desk to scare him. If he asks any other questions, I'll just have to come up with answers as I-_ '

Your thoughts naturally cut off as you heard rustling coming from above your head, Levi clearly grabbing a piece of paper off of the oaken furniture as he seemed to take a few steps backwards -you could only assume that the lack of noise coming from him was him reading the papyrus- before then taking a few more steps around the room. Two other doors opened, and it was in that moment that you knew he knew something was off -but he either didn't have enough of a clue what was, or he simply didn't have enough time to investigate it as much as he would have liked as he quickly glanced about his space.

To you it felt like hours, but within what was probably two minutes maximum since he entered the room, he was already making his way out, and you could imagine the way his eyes sceptically surveyed his office before he reached the front door, opened it, and walked through it, closing it behind him with a click, ' _Dear Rose, that was_ way _too close for comfort,_ ' you thought as you found yourself still rooted in place, ' _Not only would I have been in so much trouble right there, but the amount of embarrassment that would come with getting caught? No thank you._ '

You had just started to move your arm to push out the chair that was in front of you when you heard a sigh emit from somewhere in the room, "Tch," came a tired-sounding voice, "ᴰᵃᵐⁿ ᴸᵉᵛⁱ, ʸᵒᵘ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ˢˡᵉᵉᵖ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ᴵ ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰᵗ."

It was then the door closed for a second time and you heard the door shutting -the familiar noise being followed then by some muffled metal scraping against metal, presumably him locking the door. Only once you heard his footfalls become more distant and more inaudible did you finally regain the courage to leave from under the desk, making sure to be as silent as possible as the chair seemed to screech loudly against the floor -causing you to cringe, ' _Well, on the bright side, I'm almost one hundred percent sure he actually left this time, given that he hasn't made any move yet,_ ' you shook your head, ' _Man, I really did not expect him to have faked leaving, I just-... Ugh..._ ' As soon as you got up you pushed the chair back where it belonged and headed for the front door, closing the distance in record time as you unlocked it, grasped your palm on the metal workings of the knob and twisted.

Only, the door didn't budge.

' _Huh? Nononono._ ' Trying the handle once more, you let out a groan of genuine annoyance, ' _How is this even possible, I was able to lock the door before. Maybe it can be locked by anyone, but only unlocked by those with a key? That doesn't really make sense, but... I guess that only leaves one option._ '

The closed window seemed to taunt you as you hesitantly stepped closer to it, almost glaring at the glass as if it were its fault. For the second time that day you pushed the pane open, the only thing that was different being that Oluo, Petra and Eren were no longer beneath the sill. It took you completely off guard though when you saw Eld and Gunther still beneath the portal though, and as soon as they heard it open they looked up at you with relieved façades, "ˢʰᵉ ᵐᵃᵈᵉ ⁱᵗ!"

You felt yourself calm down the smallest bit at the sight of your two closest friends, leaning your head out of the window as you spoke to them, "ᴳᵘʸˢ, ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵗᵒ ˡᵉᵃᵛᵉ ᵗʰʳᵒᵘᵍʰ ᵗʰᵉ ʷⁱⁿᵈᵒʷ. ᴴᵉ ˡᵒᶜᵏᵉᵈ ⁱᵗ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵗ ʷᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵇᵘᵈᵍᵉ, ᵃⁿᵈ ᴵ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʷᵃⁿⁿᵃ ˢᵗᵃʸ ʰᵉʳᵉ ᵘⁿᵗⁱˡ ʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᵉˢ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ, ᴵ ʷᵃˢ ˡᵘᶜᵏʸ ᵉⁿᵒᵘᵍʰ ᵗᵒ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵉˢᶜᵃᵖᵉᵈ ʰⁱᵐ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ!"

' _In all honesty, I'm sure it was only because he is so tired. But hey, small victories (Y/N), small victories._ ' Gunther and Eld turned their gazes back to a normal height as they quickly conversed with each other -the words too quiet to be heard by you, but you were sure that at a normal distance they would be perfectly audible. It didn't take long for them to reach a conclusion, looking up at you with partial pity, "⁽ʸ/ᴺ⁾, ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ᵍᵒⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵈᵒ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᴱˡᵈ ᵈⁱᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ˡᵒʷᵉʳ ʸᵒᵘʳˢᵉˡᶠ ᵃˢ ᵐᵘᶜʰ ᵃˢ ᵖᵒˢˢⁱᵇˡᵉ!" Gunther instructed, "ᴵ ᵖʳᵒᵐⁱˢᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʰᵉ'ˡˡ ᶜᵃᵗᶜʰ ʸᵒᵘ, ᵒᵏ? ᴵ'ˡˡ ᵇᵉ ʳⁱᵍʰᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ᵃˢ ʷᵉˡˡ."

It was only after you nodded your head in agreement to the plan and found yourself halfway out the window that you had hesitation -only now fully processing the situation you were in as your upper half grabbed onto the sill of the window for dear life.

"⁽ʸ/ᴺ⁾, ʸᵒᵘ'ˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᶠⁱⁿᵉ. ᴵ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᴵ ʲᵒᵏᵉᵈ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ⁱᵗ ᵇᵉᶠᵒʳᵉ, ᵇᵘᵗ ᴵ ʷᵒᵘˡᵈ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵃᶜᵗᵘᵃˡˡʸ ˡᵉᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵃˡˡ ᵃⁿᵈ ʰᵘʳᵗ ʸᵒᵘʳˢᵉˡᶠ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗʰⁱˢ, ᵒᵏ?" Eld's voice resonated some sort of regulation within your erratically beating heart, and so you started a countdown in your head as you willed yourself to lower yourself further and further from the ledge, ' _One._ ' Only the breeze was heard as the sill pushed against the fabric of your shirt, and consequently your abdomen as you attempted to lower yourself.

' _Two._ ' Your one arm started to slip the smallest bit due to being unable to get a good grasp any longer, and your mind flashed back to your days as a trainee when you had to go through similar trials -using 3DMG for the first time, going through the final training test, even the practice uses with the 3DM gear you had to do first stuck to the forefront of your mind momentarily- seeing that during such trials, you had to put yourself in situations you were uncomfortable in.

' _Three._ ' You lightly pushed off the wall a little as you let go, feeling the air resistance whipping your hair around your head as you held in a scream, ' _This is_ so _much different than using 3DM gear, at least with 3DMG I feel like I can somewhat control myself! But here, I'm stuck in a free-fall!_ ' Biting back a scream as to not alarm anyone, you soon felt yourself landing in someone's hold -and opening your (E/C) hues only confirmed that the blonde man had been able to catch you. He gently set you to your feet, and in your fit of immense gratitude, you latched onto him in a hug -and had you been thinking clearly, perhaps you would have also deemed your short-lived adrenaline rush as a catalyst, "ᵀʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵒ ᵐᵘᶜʰ!"

And as the familiar scene played out, a sense of déjà vu was missed on you -but not the two males at your sides as Eld mouthed a short, jovial message to the dark-haired male, " _Guess who's the favourite bestie now?_ " Gunther only rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated a little before 23 December, 2020!
> 
> Just to let you guys know, Chapter 32 will be posted sometime Christmas day ((GMT -05:00)) before going back to my normal schedule every Wednesday ^^ And I also plan on responding to comments at some point tomorrow, so hopefully I'll get to that!! ^^''
> 
> ((Also, happy birthday Guy!! ((although you don't know I'm writing this, but still lmao))))


	32. 32║Starry Night

**Sunday, June 30, 850 at 00:57**

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**

“You’re so slow!” Hanji teased as she smiled back at you, gently tugging your hand with her own as she led the way through the forest. Hanji was finally taking you on that date, and you and the girl had ridden on horseback just to get here, using the section commander’s mare to traverse through the uneven terrain until the brush got too thick and dense for Bramble to continue. It was late into the night -about a good hour or so into the day- and while you did get occasional waves of sleepiness, you overall didn’t mind it as the lack of sunlight breathtakingly falling upon the ground easily made up for it -its effect only being heightened in the chilled caress of a summer’s night that gracefully danced on your (S/C) skin.

And even though the brunette and you weren’t able to go out together until just now, you _had_ been able to spend more time together working on said preparations, secret smiles shared and glances stolen as you felt much better about your situation with Hanji over the past two weeks. No longer did you have to hide your affections for her, and the burden that you didn’t even realise you had been carrying was lifted from your shoulders.

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” you drawled out as you rolled your eyes, making sure to tighten your grip on her hand a little as you unintentionally tugged it the smallest bit due to your lagging behind. That was something else that had changed between the both of you: physical contact. Neither of you had kissed again since that afternoon, but hugs and other friendly touches were much more plentiful, keeping that want to be close to the girl at bay while you needed to be away from her. Stepping over a bigger branch, your eyes zoned in on a clearing that was a good twenty metres or so away, the only way you were able to see the offshoot of oak being the gentle moonlight that casted itself sparsely through the leaves, swaying back and forth as a docile breeze swept through the foliage above your heads.

“Well come faster,” she retorted with a jocular scoff, pulling your hand closer to her, “We’re almost there!”

You let out a falsely annoyed huff, grinning as you pushed yourself a little more to keep up with the female through the slowly clearing trees, “Have you even been where you’re taking me?” you asked, genuinely curious, ‘ _After all, I don’t really recall Hanji ever going anywhere for long periods of time in the three or so years that I’ve closely worked with her, but then again, it wasn’t like I was with her 24/7 either._ ’

“Of course I have, do you really think I would just wander in a forest like this, hoping that we’d get somewhere, in the middle of the night?” The teasing tone was heavily integrated into her words, and was further brought out by the jovial beam she sent your way when she turned her head back to you partially.

“Knowing you, I wouldn’t be that surprised.”

“Oh _please_ , I’m not _that_ bad, am I?”

You held your breath as you wordlessly followed behind her, opting to let the silence speak for you instead of a verbal reply as the both of you just about reached the clearing, only now exiting the woods. It took her a second, but she seemed to understand what your lack of a response implied as a look of understanding and fake exasperatedness washed over her features while she glanced back at you, “Ouch (Y/N), that’s mean…”

You broke out laughing, bending over slightly as you held your stomach, “You know I’m teasing you…” you wheezed out, standing up more straight as you let out a few, smaller giggles -Hanji letting out some amused chuckles at your reaction as well.

The expanse you had both entered was vast, a giant field open to you to do as you pleased under the moonbeams that spilt from the sky -a few spread out trees spotted across the mild hills on top the grass-coated ground. A simple turn of your head upwards told you that it was a clear night -something you could have inferred by the way you were able to see without a proper light- no fluffy cotton balls of a calming white to be found hanging above, instead being replaced by minute, stark white pinpoints among the blackened ceiling in the same organised pattern you had seen since you were a child. But the thing that stuck out to you the most was the full moon, it’s blinding brightness causing you to squint your eyes a little as it partly burned your retinas -causing an imprint to remain and follow your vision as you soon after looked away.

“Hanji-... This is beautiful.” you spoke, drinking in the image of the starry night sky a moment longer before turning away and looking into her umber orbs through her glasses, that affectionate undertone that swirled about them sending nerves throughout your being, “I’m glad you like it,” she started, letting out a quiet chuckle as she rubbed the back of her neck, “I’m gonna be honest, I wasn’t sure if you were going to.” With your jaw slack in a partially fake disbelief -the other half of you truly being taken off guard by her words- you vigorously shook your head at her, “You think that _I_ ,” you said with a gesture to yourself, “Wouldn’t like _this_?” you finished, taking your dominant hand and pointing it towards the stars above, “You must be out of your mind.”

“Maybe I am.” she countered with a careless shrug, sending you a playful grin, “You drive me crazy, that’s for sure.”

You rolled your eyes at her words, letting out a jovial scoff as you looked at her with a slight blush, “Hanji, that was so cheesy.” She only barked out a laugh, sitting herself on the ground gently as she gestured for you to do the same, “I know, I know,” she giggled, “I just love seeing your reaction, that’s all.”

You plopped onto the grass beside her, copying her and leaning back on your arms as she had mere seconds before, “I have to admit, this is nice.” The words flowed naturally out of your mouth as you made sure not to look at the woman at your side, and you couldn’t help but admit to yourself how _natural_ it felt to be at her side, all alone and just cherishing each other’s presence. The woman let out a content hum, and a glance to her out of the corner of your eye told you that her orbs were gently closed, a general look of peace about her as she sat still, “I have to agree with you there, (Y/N).” She then brought her one hand next to yours and covered the back of your hand with her palm, the tender touch leaving you with small butterflies fluttering about in your stomach.

‘ _There’s not a single thing I would change about right now. Nothing at all._ ’

There was a brief, calm silence that filled the atmosphere, the both of you just taking in the sky and the beautiful array of stars it provided before Hanji spoke up with a question, “How long have you… How long have you liked me?”

“H-How long? Oh geez, I quite honestly can’t remember, it’s been so long,” you admitted with rose coloured joues, digging into the back of your head to try and pull out an adequate response for the girl, “If I had to guess, probably since some point during our stay at the free-range testing area with Chica and Albert. I know for sure that when we saw that one guy -in that village with the wolves- I knew I liked you. Actually, I think that was when I first figured it out. It had been a little while before that that I had liked you, I just- I just didn’t know it yet.”

“Ah,” Hanji voiced in understanding, “I getcha. What _was_ his name?”

“Miles? Milos? To be honest I’m not that sure, it already feels as if we met him ages ago.”

“Milos sounds about right, but… you’re not wrong there, (L/N).”

“On what part?”

“About it being ages ago.”

“Ah.”

Shifting yourself the smallest bit upon the ground, you allowed yourself to let out a tiny breath you hadn’t even realised you had been holding, ‘ _Should I ask her how long she’s liked me? I mean, I guess it wouldn’t hurt, right?_ ’

“ᴴᵉʸ… Hey Hanji?”

“Yeah?”

You turned your gaze over to the woman, feeling nerves jolt through your body as you hesitated, ‘ _Ah, hold on a second. Do I really wanna ask her how long she’s liked me? I mean, we haven’t exactly talked about it before now, what if she’s only liked me for the past few weeks or so and she’s not sure how she feels? What if she’s the type of person to quickly fall in and out of a crush? I’m definitely grateful that she likes me, but I wanna know how long she has. They do say that curiosity killed the cat though, so-_ ’

“(Y/N)?” The girl you had started speaking to looked at you with furrowed brows, a small concern apparent on her features as she looked to you, “Are you ok?”

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine, I just…” the words died on the tip of your tongue once again, the courage to ask the woman your query once more fading until she scootched herself closer to you, wrapping her arm that was closest to you around your shoulders as she comfortingly pulled you closer. Your cheeks were set ablaze as she nuzzled her face into your neck, messy strands of a dark chocolate ticking your skin as you subconsciously leaned into her touch, “ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃⁿ ᵗᵉˡˡ ᵒʳ ᵃˢᵏ ᵐᵉ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ, ʸ’ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᵗʰᵃᵗ?” she murmured sweetly slightly below your ear, her reassurance causing a newfound confidence to surge through you, “Same here, Hanji. I just- I just wanted to ask, since when did you… know that you liked me?”

A gentle rumble vibrated at your side, the section commander who was tilting herself towards you letting out a chuckle as she replied, “That’s what you were nervous over?”

For the second time that night you supplied her with silence, the void once again speaking unspoken words but this time giving a much different meaning. She squeezed you a little tighter with her arm in a short side hug, “Aw, it’s ok (Y/N),” rung her voice, “Hmm, I believe it was a little before you, umm… Oh yeah!” she started, raising her voice the smallest bit -not so much that it hurt your ears, but to the extent that it startled you at first- as she pulled herself back a small bit and met your (E/C) orbs to her own optics, the both of you now sitting on the ground and facing each other, “It was the day before we left for experimentation, remember how you took my goggles? Well, I remember you falling at some point or another and just being so… captivated. It was then that I knew I liked you, but -and please don’t take offence to this- but I kinda thought that it would fade with due time, y'know, because we had been friends for the longest time. It only grew though, and I found myself paying more attention to you and becoming more and more aware of what you were doing, and… Well, yeah, you get the point.” she finished with a nervous chuckle, bringing her hand that was the furthest from you and scratching the back of her neck with it.

During her speech she let her eyes fall to the ground, and you couldn’t help but be completely and utterly awestruck at the living anomaly before you, ‘ _How can someone be so… so perfect?_ ’

“You said that I could… ᴵ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵃˢᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ, ʳⁱᵍʰᵗ?” she murmured softly before you could speak up in response to what she had said before, the small whisper just managing to fall upon your ears. The moon sent its weak streams of a dimmed, pale white onto the ground, providing a plentiful amount of light for you to see the way she once again looked to you, her orbs first swirling with a tad bit of insecurity before it seemingly faded away, a touch of adoration now to be found in its place. “Of course,” you answered, your gaze just as intense as hers was. You felt yourself become aware of everything and yet nothing at that moment -save for the girl in front of you- the anxiousness and unnecessary nerves you had previously increasing tenfold as she brought her one hand up to the side of your face, cupping your cheek.

“Then please,” she let out a shaky breath, eyes dropping to her lap for a second before they rose to yours again, "May I kiss you?"

To be quite honest, you weren’t sure where this sudden boost of straightforwardness came from, yet despite its sudden appearance you knew for sure that you didn’t mind it one bit. Leaning forwards compliantly as her cheeks sprinkled in a light rouge, you both closed the distance between you as you closed your eyes.

And then her lips fell onto yours.

The jolt you felt was immediate, yet the contact was simple and sweet -the soft brush of her plump and tender lips against yours almost electrifying as she brought herself even closer to you. One kiss turned into two, and two turned into three as the girl’s knees were at the side of your outer thigh, that was until you stood yourself up on your knees slowly, soon after wrapping your arms around her waist as her own snaked their way around your neck -and you almost shivered as her cold hands briefly touched your neck, although you weren’t completely sure if that was the only reason for your chills.

She kept you held tight to her as she let out a content sigh through her nose, tilting her head to the side the smallest bit as you felt her run her tongue against your lower lip. Allowing the entry she wordlessly requested, your faces were pushed even closer together as you felt her tongue connect to yours -at the same time her nose touching your (S/C) cheek faintly. Hanji murmured out a small phrase as she partially pulled back, peppering light kisses on your lips as she spoke, “ᴵ’ᵛᵉ ʷᵃⁿᵗᵉᵈ… ᵗᵒ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰⁱˢ… ᶠᵒʳ qᵘⁱᵗᵉ ᵃ… ʷʰⁱˡᵉ ⁿᵒʷ.”

You pulled back from the girl, face coloured a deep pink as you processed her words -although you were certain that your blushing face was caused by more than just her words, but also her actions, “ᴹᵉ ᵗᵒᵒ, ᴴᵃⁿʲⁱ…”

Her orbs studied your own, her pools of a dark chocolate pouring past her glasses and into your (E/C) spheres caringly. A faint smile started to grow on her face, gaining more and more to it as it became bigger and stretched across her face, her own tinge of crimson to be found upon her face. She then tackled you over, a crinkle coming from her breast pocket and one of her hands going behind your head, the other behind your back as she hugged you securely with a small giggle that was able to be heard from the woman as her head rested on your shoulder. Letting out a gasp of surprise as you fell to the ground, you did just about the only thing you could go and grasped your palms firmly against the back of her Survey Corps jacket -given as she didn’t have time to change out of it yet- and feeling the threads of the Wings of Freedom patch rub against your fingers roughly. Once you understood what was happening, you nodded your head against hers, giving her a tight squeeze for a second before making your hold more comfortable for you -now just laying on the cool grass in the section commander’s grasp, legs intertwined in an unexpectedly relaxing position, “What’s the laughter for, Hanji?” you asked softly, amusement able to be found within your voice as the words flowed past your lips.

“Mmm mm mmmmm mm.”

You let out a snort, not being able to hear her despite her mouth not being too far from your ear, “I’m sorry, what was that?”

She shifted her head slightly, “I said, I’m just so happy right now.”

The flames that set your face ablaze grew, the oxygen that was Hanji’s words only supplying the already out of control embers as you found yourself with an even stronger blush -if that was even possible, “I am too. I truly am.”

She removed her arms from around you and put them to the ground, your head gently making contact to the floor as Hanji pushed herself in a hold above you the slightest bit, “Can I ask you another question, (Y/N)?”

You smiled up at her, a playful aspect about not only your eyes but your responding sentence as well, “You don’t have to ask, Hanji. That’s the whole point of being able to ask me anything.”

She let out a deep chuckle as her eyes drifted off to the side, a little past your face and to the greenery below you as a peaceful grin played upon her lips, “That’s fair, but I just wanted to ask, would you…” she stopped for a second, meeting her eyes to yours as those honeyed hues you adored so much flooded over with passion, “Would you be my girlfriend?”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you froze, ‘ _She wants to_ date _me?! Dear Rose, yes!_ ’

“Of course, Hanji!” you exclaimed, hugging her close to you, “I would love to!”

You could feel her shake the smallest bit as she let out a sigh of relief, “That’s good,” she spoke, “I thought you were going to say no there for a second.”

“I would never,” you reassured the female, a smile still bright on your face, “Never in a million years.” Then, bringing your lips to hers this time, you kissed her again, a more confident glow about you considering that the woman had just asked you out. This one was rather quick however, and you found yourselves separating much quicker than before as Hanji rolled off of you, laying on the ground at your side. Her hand reached for yours the second time that night, the only difference was that she tangled your fingers together, the back of your hand resting upon the cold floor nature provided you both with, “Does this mean I can call you (N/N) now?” Hanji asked, the cute and playful nickname she used causing your nerves to flare through you the smallest bit.

“Of course Hanji.” you spoke rather jovially, not expecting this to be something that the authoritative woman would ask.

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, if I’m going to be honest, I wouldn’t have minded ever since I met you. Not saying that if I had when I first met you I would’ve said anything, but…” you trailed off, mind flashing back to the earlier experiments with Leslie that you had done with the girl. It was those sweet, past memories that you cherished the most -if you had to pick a favourite moment with Hanji. It was during that time you had really formed your relationship with the brunette, a budding friendship starting before you had even realized it. One memory that stuck out the most to you however was when you had spent about a month or so crafting a small titan stuffie based off of the first titan you experimented on her with, Leslie. It took you a while to get the brown hair of it correct enough for you to be happy with it, but once you had -and put a (F/C) ribbon around its neck tied in a bow- and given it to the section commander, you had decided that the near priceless reaction she gave was well worth the efforts you had put forth.

With a memory-fueled turn of your lips, your eyes fell from star to star as you listened to Hanji reply, “I’ll have to start using it more then,” she confessed aloud, “I thought of it not too long ago, I just wasn’t sure how you were going to take it.”

You let a laugh roll throughout your body as you tugged your fingers against hers, the last few knuckles of your fingers open to the cold air as you spoke, “Oh Hanji, only you.”

It went silent as the both of you chose to bask in the quiet, opting to observe the stars in front of you as time ticked by, ‘ _I think that one might be the big dipper…_ ’ you thought to yourself, before contradicting your original thought, ‘ _No wait, that’s the little dipper, that one_ there _is the big dipper… Actually, I’m not sure what that first one is, because isn’t the big dipper to the left of the little dipper?_ ’ Your brows scrunched up as you pondered over the formation of the stars in the sky, not being able to untangle the mystery that was the constellations in the night sky, ‘ _Or was it that the little dipper was to the left of the big dipper…?_ ’

You let out an inaudible huff as you found no decisive answer to your internal query, closing your eyes as you let the peacefulness of the night wash over you, ‘ _It doesn’t feel as if we both have to leave for an expedition this morning, in fact, it doesn’t feel anything like that. Usually, there’s a few days of stress before each one, but I feel almost care and worry-free right now._ ’ you admitted to yourself, ‘ _That’s rather dangerous however, I’ve seen this happen way too many times. It’s as soon as you let either yourself be comfortable in titan territory or lose yourself in your emotions that you die. I’ve seen it take the best of us._ ’ Images of soldiers long forgotten to the rest of the world flashed through your head -each face a blurry and distant memory that was once attached to a person- and you found yourself uncertain if anyone else remained to even immortalize them in memory besides yourself, ‘ _I need to calm down,_ ’ you thought as you gave a light shake to your head, ‘ _This is my time to relax with Hanji before the expedition, I should enjoy it to the fullest._ ’

“Hey Hanji?” you asked, moving your hand the smallest bit to garner her attention, “Yeah?”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“ _You don’t have to ask, (Y/N). That’s the whole point of being able to tell me anything._ ” she playfully mocked you as she used your same verbiage almost word for word, manipulating her voice to sound like yours -although in the end it sounded nothing like it.

“Hey, I don’t sound like that, meanie!” you jovially scoffed as you stuck your tongue at her, blowing a raspberry at her.

“Yeah, _ok_.”

You could only let out a few giggles as you rolled your eyes, “Well, _anyways_ , what I wanted to tell you was that I uh, snuck into Levi’s office today.”

At this the woman jolted up, eyes going wide as she looked down at you in something that was an indecipherable mix between amusement and curiosity, “R-Really?!” Her reaction caused your smile to brighten, taking in her partially awestruck face as you continued to explain, “Well, I had the Special Operations Squad’s help, but yeah! We even managed to hide some dirt and mess around with the order of his papers a little.”

The girl crumpled into her stomach as she began to laugh hysterically, “ _The Walls, (Y/N)!_ ” she started, “I had no clue that it was you behind it all!”

Her clear amusement automatically made you let out some laughter of your own, “What’re you talking about, ‘ _me being behind it all_ ’?”

She momentarily brought her head up to look at you, entertainment pouring out in waves as she wiped at the corner of her eye, “I had to go to Commander Browsie’s office today, and grumpy was there, and he wouldn’t stop saying how he thought something was off about his room…!” She let out an amused huff as her breath caught up with her, “It was later when I saw him in passing that he was complaining about an opened window or something that wasn’t open when he was in his office. I _had_ been concerned about it until just now!”

You could only break out into your own giggles as you both laughed under the stars, ‘ _I guess I really did get him back, maybe a little more seriously than I had thought, but I know for a fact that he’ll be fine._ ’

“Never change (N/N)...” Hanji said as she turned towards you with a toothy grin, glasses glaring a small bit before they cleared to reveal her sincere orbs of a calmed honey, “You’re perfect just the way you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 25 December, 2020!
> 
> Heya! I just wanted to wish everyone happy holidays! I hope that you have a great day!! ^^


	33. 33║The 57th Expedition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to pop in and remind everyone that a chapter ((Chapter 32)) has been uploaded early since last Wednesday ((23-12-2020)), meaning that if the last time you checked this story was last Wednesday, there's a chapter before this that I recommend you read to clear things up! ^^
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

**Sunday, June 30, 850 at 05:49**

\----------------------------------------------------------

It was as soon as Hanji dropped you off in your room last night that the dread caught up to you. The woman had entered your room to tuck you in for the remainder of the night, waiting patiently in your office as you changed in your bedroom -only after she had insisted a few times. You had wanted to ask her if she just wanted to spend the night over with you -not to do anything particularly naughty, but rather just because you still felt overly giddy after she officially asked you out. In the end though, you chickened out, instead watching the girl leave your room as she shut the door behind her -only after she gave you a kiss on the forehead and a sweet smile, " _Sweet dreams, (N/N)._ " You had probably laid in bed for about an hour, just tracing your (E/C) hues over the paint on the ceiling as you tried to get some form of sleep.

But faces just kept flashing through.

A he, a she, maybe even a few theys -you never knew any of them after all- popping in your head and causing you to suddenly wake whenever the brink of sleep came to you. And while you did feel bad -guilty, really- you always were able to calm yourself back down with the reassurance that it wasn't your fault, or rather that there was simply nothing you could've done. It was solely when that stillness of a complete and utter serenity crept upon you once more that you jolted awake again, the cycle viciously repeating -as it always did the night, sometimes mere hours, before an expedition.

You have grown to be very thankful of coffee due to such nights.

Yet despite it all, you typically found yourself sufficiently energized before going out, and your morning had actually started off as it normally would for any other expedition -that was until you stepped out of your room and looked at the one almost barren table that was to your right once you exited your bedroom. On top of it was a letter, the handwriting on the outside not exactly neat yet easily comprehensible as your bleary eyes -from just waking up- had read the parchment inside.

_29th June, 850_

_Dear (Y/N),_

_I'm writing this in advance to you in case I can't bring_

_myself to tell you this tomorrow, but I won't be able to see you_

_until after the_ _expedition tomorrow._

_I know, I know! Before you yell at me, let me defend_

_myself._ _I can only imagine that the last thing you want to_

_think about is_ _heading out tomorrow, or rather, it should be_

_today by the time_ _you're reading this, and I genuinely don't_

_know if I want to see you_ _possibly be upset because I'll be_

_busy. I promise that as soon as we_ _get back, I'll make more_

_time for you, ok?_

_Be safe out there._

_Your girlfriend,_

_-Hanji Zoë ♡_

The woman hadn't been wrong -you had been disappointed you couldn't see her once more before heading off into battle- however, you did understand that as a section commander, she probably had to make sure that everything was going smoothly for the groups that she would be leading today. Not only that, but she also had to make sure that the Special Target Restraining Weapons -or STRAWs as you had grown to call them, with an added 'A' for easier pronunciation- were all packed and ready to go, even if that job was already placed on other soldiers -the Armoured and Colossal Titan were suspected to be a part of the Survey Corps after all, and who was to say that they wouldn't be in charge of something like that? There was too much riding on it, and therefore -as much as you disliked it- you understood why you would be unable to see her properly before leaving the Walls, ' _Damn, I bet she looks really hot while doing her job as section commander though..._ ' you thought to yourself with a gentle blush, ' _What a shame I won't be able to see her, given that -as far as I know- she'll be too far from me to be able to see her. Honestly, it's probably for the best that I can't see her, she'd be a major detriment to my focus if I'm going to be honest._ '

It was only when Chestnut let out a tiny winey that you zoned your focus back in, and the ironic fact that you had been spacing out -all while telling yourself you need to stay focused- was a cold realization that shook you to your core -after all, it's never safe to be in titan territory while unfocused, and you hadn't even realized you had been in your own personal la-la-land. To calm her, you gave the mare a gentle pat on the head as you led her closer and closer to Wall Rose's gate opening, "You'll be fine girl, you've done this before." And while the words absentmindedly rolled off of your tongue, you did truly mean them. You continued to direct your companion over to the area where the both of you would make your departure, unable to help the way your head seemed to naturally keep at the ground as the grave situation weighed you down, ' _I don't think I've ever wished it to be a day into the future more than now, then I wouldn't have to go out today._ ' a slight smile broke out on your face though at a small realization, ' _At least Hanji will be happy going out there, she'll be able to see all different kinds of titans._ '

"Hey uh, (Y/N)?" At first your ears perked up, hoping that the person calling for your attention was Hanji. However, it was only Oluo. Raising a brow, you looked to the male with similarly bagged eyes -the both of you seeming to have had a hard time sleeping last night, "Yes Oluo? What's up, and where're the others?" The teen met at your side, now the both of you leading your horses from HQ to your destination, "Ah, I uh, left _after_ them. I needed to ask you... something."

' _Ok, something isn't right. He's never this timid, not to my knowledge at least._ '

Almost sceptically, you tilted your head upwards and gave him your full attention, "Of course, what's going on?"

"You know Petra kinda well, right?"

"Yeah."

"And... you bunked with her before you uh, you became a captain, right?"

"Oluo, you _know_ this is true. What's going on, is everything ok?" you asked, starting to become anxious as to what he was getting on about.

"Yes, everything is fine, I just- Did she ever tell you what the uh, the perfect confession would be for her?"

Your eyes nearly popped out of your head, "Oluo, are you saying what I think you're saying?"

His usual self came back at your question, him slightly turning his head away from you as he refused to make eye contact, "Why does it matter? Just answer the damned question..." he grumbled out.

What started as a seedling of trepidation soon blossomed, flourishing in your already present anxiousness as you grabbed onto his arm tighter than you meant to, ' _During this expedition were supposed to lead the Armoured Titan into a trap, and while everyone in the Special Operations Squad is strong..._ '

"Oluo, you _need_ to tell her before we leave."

He turned back to you, a look of pure confusion and surprise splayed across his face at you sudden seriousness, "H-Huh? Why?"

"I- No reason," you lied, lowering your voice a tad bit in guilt, "Look, you never know what's going to happen out there, and I've seen this happen before -or at least I've heard stories about it. You shouldn't test it Oluo, you shouldn't trust that you'll be the exception."

"(Y/N), I promise nothing will happen," he spoke, abnormally soft-spoken as he tried to calm your seemingly unnecessary nerves, "We've done this a million times before, and besides, _we're_ part of an elite squad. Some would say some of the strongest following Levi and them," he said, referencing the commander and section commanders of the Survey Corps, "All six of us have each other's backs -seven really if you include Levi- and if it'll make you feel all that better... I'll make sure to tell Petra as soon as the time seems right, ok?"

You let your heart slow a little, ' _Y'know, I guess he's not wrong,_ ' you thought to yourself, ' _Even if we are going to lead the Armoured Titan into a trap, we're experienced and have done similar things when catching titans for experimentation. Besides, like he said, we make up one of the strongest groups humanity has -we're not going to fall apart at the slightest struggle._ ' Giving him a meek smile, your eyes drifted off to the congregation of soldiers that you could see in the distance, "You better, otherwise I'm telling Gunther and Eld. And you _know_ that they can't keep their mouths shut."

"Are you saying that I don't keep my w-gah!" You could only chuckle when his eyes widened, holding his face with his hands and making you certain he tasted a bitter iron in his mouth as he bit his tongue, ' _Some things never change_ ** _,_** _do they?_ '

The two of you eventually went quiet, the reminder that you were about to venture outside the Walls a grim reality you had to face too soon for comfort. When the time came to get into formation, there was barely a word said by any soldier -the absolute fear that coated the air thickly almost as tangible as the silent panic that paired ever so fittingly with it. The only thing that was spared were a few glances amongst yourselves -and while that provided a small comfort, it wasn't nearly enough to calm your nerves. It wasn't that much longer that you could hear Erwin's deep voice ring out, the commander of the Survey Corps belting out words -that always managed to imprint your mind- with his right arm lifted out towards the sky, "Offer up your hearts! Survey Corps, advance!"

\----------------------------------------------------------

You had to admit, that as terrifying as it was to be outside the Walls, it sure did feel _liberating_. There was just something about the air that was different -or perhaps it was the lack of the almost suffocating buildings and structures that were all too present within the safe haven you called home- that made a microscopic part of you glad that you were on the expedition. It had been about an hour since your departure from Wall Rose, and so far, everything seemed to be going swimmingly. There wasn't an appearance on the Armoured Titan's part, which caused a rather dangerous bubble of hope to pool in your chest that -maybe, just maybe- all of the preparations you and Hanji made were all for nothing and the killing of Sawney and Bean really was just caused by a soldier who was a little frustrated at the titans for all they had done.

So that was why, as your eyes grazed about the breathtaking yet somewhat familiar terrain belonging to Wall Maria and you followed behind Levi, you felt your heart drop into the pit of your stomach when you heard a smoke signal go off in the distance.

_Bang._

It was instinctively that your head flew to the right, gripping Chestnut's reins in your hands even tighter as green smoke filled the air in an upwards spiral, ' _Ah, it's ok. Green means good._ '

"Oluo." Levi called out, garnering the dirty blonde's focus.

"Yes sir?"

"Pass it on."

"Of course, corporal!" It wasn't too long after he had barked out his reply that you could hear fumbling behind you, and if you had to guess, it was Oluo getting ready to do as he was told -and after the passage of a few more seconds, a sharper -much noisier due to your proximity- shot went off.

_Bang._

Hesitantly, you relaxed your hold on the leather strips that steered your horse, eyes automatically looking to the forest of giant trees a good two to three hundred metres ahead of you as you swallowed the spit in your mouth in an inwards gulp, ' _It's not gonna be much longer until we get there and find out if anyone really is after Eren or not._ ' You wanted to turn back and just look at the boy once more, you supposed in some form of reassurance. However, before you could turn to Jaeger a soldier on horseback coming up to both you and Levi caught your attention, "Corporal Levi, Captain (Y/N)!" Seeing as you were the lower power here, you let the ravenette take charge, ' _It's not like he would've let me anyway, that's just not how he_ is _if I'm going to be honest. Besides, I'm supposed to be just like any other soldier here right now. Even if he called me a captain, out here I truly am not one._ '

The short man only gave him a glance out of the corner of his eye as he waited for him to speak, you fully looking at the male who had just arrived with a partially raised brow in confusion, "An oral message! It appears the right-wing spotters have been wiped out! The early warning network is compromised," he instructed, now looking to you as he finished what he had to say, "One of you will need to relay the message down the line."

"C-Completely?" you stuttered out in question to the man who had informed you. However, he was already too far gone to hear you, already rushing back off to his group where he came from. "Focus (Y/N), we have to assume the worst." came the curt voice of Levi, the same male then turning back and looking to Petra, "You heard the man. Petra, go on."

"Yes, sir!" she cried out, and you could briefly see her face all scrunched up in a mixture of determination and fear as she headed off, her strawberry blonde hair momentarily blowing in her face as she flipped her fair the smallest bit. Turning yourself back a little more you could see four faces in a focused fright -Gunther, Eld, Oluo and Eren not daring to take their intense sights off of where they were going. You only found yourself moving your head back to its original position as you continued to ride afterwards, ' _It's ok, it's like Oluo said, we've got this. That being said, I should really pay attention to the right side, that's probably where the Armoured Titan is going to come from if he did in fact take the spotters out. And as much as I want to hope that this is just some crazy coincidence, it's too unrealistic to be true. Not in this cursed world._ '

The forest that was once further away was now closer, and it was slightly alarming to you that it was now only one hundred metres or so away -you were now able to see the individual trees that made up the woods a lot clearer, their towering height noticeable even from the distance remaining. As you slightly bobbed up and down on your horse, you saw a figure moving towards your group on the left -and it was only once you fully turned to see who it was that you calmed down a bit.

"Did they say anything, Petra?"

"No, sir!"

"Then we continue."

After that, no more words were spoken. In reality, you supposed that there truly was no point in any idle chit-chat seeing that nothing below a yell could easily be heard anyways -but it still ended up adding to the uneasiness that settled in the pit of your stomach, and you were sure that everyone else in the party felt the same. Looking around once more for the millionth time, you figured that had you been here before the Fall of Maria that it would have been nice to stay out here. After all, the grass seemed exceptionally lush, and had circumstances been different, you supposed that going to the Giant Tree Forest might have been actually _enjoyable_ , ' _I mean, it certainly would have been interesting to have stopped by, that's for sure. Y'know, I kinda wonder if Hanji's ever been here... Would she find this place interesting? I'm pretty sure people used to hike here, and while she most definitely has the energy for it, would she even want to come to a place like this?_ '

_Bang._

You were grounded to reality once more at the sound of yet another flare gun going off, this time however the smoke that lingered in the air wasn't a vibrant green. It was an ashen black. ' _Fuck, an abnormal. That must mean that the Armoured Titan has been spotted. It probably won't be that much longer until he finds us -if he hasn't already.'_

"(Y/N)." Levi spoke monotonously, as emotionless as ever.

"Yes, corporal!" you replied without a thought, knowing exactly what he wanted and reverting back to the old you as you kept your eyes locked onto the black smoke that filled the air not too far off from you. Wordlessly, you put in a black flare to your gun and shot it off, signalling to others nearby that not only was there an abnormal in the vicinity, but that you had received the message as well.

Once the news had been passed on, you secured the flare gun back in its holster and looked ahead, almost blanching at the sight of the Giant Tree Forest a lot closer than when you had last looked, the trees towering so high now that you were only twenty metres away that you swore they were taller than the Walls themselves. At this point, all you could see was a giant barricade of trees ahead of you -the only opening that would let you inside being the manmade trail that existed from before the Fall of Maria. The tensed air followed the seven of you as you rode closer and closer to the first few trees that were further out from the forest, soon enough passing them before you knew it. Up ahead was a small wooden booth that you were sure at one point was rather popular -yet despite its glory days, the wood was covered in an unmistakable moss, giving it a saturated green colour- and you found yourself holding in your breath as you passed it, Chestnut at a full gallop.

You were officially now within the forest of giant trees.

The suffocating feeling that surrounded you almost induced a sense of panic, your body vehemently wishing for you to manoeuvre yourself up into a tree where it would be safer -but you knew that the plan to trap the Armoured Titan in the STRAWs wouldn't work if you backed out, ' _Well, I mean, it still probably would, but backing out right now is not a plausible option for me, and I'm no coward. Not in these situations, anyways._ '

Your eyes hardened over as you went deeper, a nervous sweat forming all over your body in a fashion that you would have complained about had you not been so absorbed in correctly advancing your horse forwards. Turning a few rounded out corners and such, you couldn't help but worry over passing the trap before the Armoured Titan reached you, ' _If that goes wrong, the whole plan goes out the window and we'll have to improvise. Granted, improvising was one of our strong suits,_ ' you admitted, recalling how all five of you in the Special Operations Squad -not including Eren given that he wasn't a part of the group yet- had been able to take down more titans than you could count with wordless communication and planning, ' _But who knows what has changed with time, I might be out of touch with everything... There hasn't been this much time between expeditions, after all, the last one was more than three months ago._ '

Then came thudding -a pounding that was sure to stick in your head until your very last days.

_Boom, boom, boom, boom._

It was faint, something that was almost inaudible amongst the dull pounds of horse hooves upon the dusty and dirty path, and yet it was the only sound you heard at that very moment. Rather, it _was_ until a piercing scream ripped through the atmosphere, signalling that the Armoured Titan's chase had begun.

" _ᴺᴼ, ˢᵀᴼᴾ!_ "

You winced and tightly shut your eyes with a grimace. _Crash._

' _Eighty-eight._ '

When you looked back, your eyes widened in a fair combination of fear and surprise. You had been correct on two things; that one, there was a titan behind you and two, that it was chasing after you. Where you were wrong however, landed on the fact that it wasn't the Armoured Titan -no, this beast was a 13-15 metre titan with no skin, a blonde bob as hair and penetrating eyes that stared your group down eagerly. That wasn't the most surprising fact though. That award was given to the fact that it was _female_ , with a full womanly physique and everything -and you could only stare in absolute terror at the unknown, ' _W-What the hell? What kind of sick joke is this?! Why can't anything in this damned world just be easy?!_ '

You were taken out of your stupor when another scream tore out of a throat somewhere behind you, although this one was an indecipherable mess as their cables were tugged upon in a way that slammed them into a tree, " _ᴬᴳᴴ, ᴺᴼ ᵂᴬ-!_ "

As they were flung, you swore their eyes met to yours in a silent damning of you for not helping them. _Crack._

' _Eighty-nine._ '

"The Rear Guard!" Petra cried as she looked back in terror, eyes widened hugely so that her fright was apparent to any onlookers. It was almost as if her words had been a signal for the mysterious, yet clearly intelligent, titan to sprint forwards -as it leaned its body forwards and rushed ahead, even running off of the trail as it pushed itself to go forwards. It soon came back onto the pathway in loud, almost deafening footfalls however as it attempted to reach for Eren, missing the boy by a metre or so as said teen ducked forwards to evade it. Falling off of the dirt road once more, it lagged behind the smallest bit as it regained itself, icy blue hues staring you down and chilling you deeply.

"Corporal, may we switch to 3DMG?!"

"Sir, permission to disperse!"

"May we engage, sir?!"

"Your orders, corporal?!"

The terrified voices of your close friends made remorse fill you to your core, you slightly glaring at the back of Levi's head as he didn't answer them, ' _I know he can't tell them what's going on just yet, but he could at least tell them no. He's just being cruel at this point, although I suppose I'm no better for keeping such a secret like this from them. They don't even know that the real goal of this expedition isn't to explore titan territory, but to capture someone who's after Eren..._ '

"Eren, no!" you heard a feminine yell shout, and yet another turn of your head backwards only confirmed what you thought might've been happening, ' _He can't, not yet! If he transforms now, the whole plan will be screwed over!_ '

The brunette held his right hand in front of his mouth, lips parted and face scrunched in a way that expressed he was ready to snap his teeth down upon his own flesh. His turquoise spheres were partially angled over at the strawberry blonde, listening to what she was saying as he debated in his head whether or not it was best to follow her unofficial orders, "What about our promise, Eren?!" she outcried, "Trust us!"

Jaeger's eyes widened a fraction, his hand lowering the tiniest bit as he seemed to recall past events -most likely that one night where the entirety of the Special Operations Squad, minus Levi, bit their hand. "Eren," Levi called out as calmly as ever, "Do what you think is right."

The panic and worry became clear in his eyes, voice drenched in the same emotion that poured out of his watery eyes in waves, "But sir, how can I tell what's right?!"

"You can't." came the blunt reply, Levi's words spoken lowly as he lowered his head the smallest bit, a darked aura about him, "I myself don't know the answer. There is no right or wrong, it's only ever a mixture of both."

No one dared to speak a word in case it would influence the boy to make a choice they didn't agree with -including yourself- as the thudding behind the seven of you pushed itself to the hot burner of your mind, an ever so disturbing reminder that you were currently being hunted down, ' _If he transforms.... What's going to happen? What if he is taken? No, more importantly, why didn't Levi tell him to just keep his head low and continue forwards?! I mean, it's one thing if he's actually grabbed, but we're doing fine right now!_ '

The stares of the rest of your squad were surely on the teen that everything depended on, silently begging him to just continue with the plan and not transform seeing that Levi hadn't directly demanded or permitted him to do so. The boy clenched his eyes shut while he braced himself for the answer he was about to give, finally coming to a decision and causing your breath to slightly catch in your throat in anticipation as he shouted, "I'll go forwards!"

A small smile grew on your face at his selection, feeling a whole lot more hopeful that the operation was going to go as smoothly as possible now. You didn't turn back to the boy as you expressed appreciation, sure to be unheard as the whisper barely met your own ears -the tone laced with an almost reassuring thread that stitched together your entire show of gratitude going unknown to the world, "ᵀʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᴱʳᵉⁿ."

It wasn't long after the words passed your lips that the feminine titan behind you seemed to speed up, consequently causing everyone else to do the same as you all desperately tried to evade any grabs or attacks of hers -all while staying in your formation. Your eyes kept searching ahead, trying to find a clearing where the trap could have been set up -no one had told you where it would be set, given as it was better for as little people as possible to know its location. Chestnut continued to dash on the trail, faithfully obeying your steering as you passed under countless trees of sundry heights -of which you knew somewhere within them hid soldiers ready to act and stop the absolute menace behind you. Despite keeping your gaze observant to find the soldiers in waiting, it was only once you had already gone by them that you saw them out of the corner of your eye -and it took all of your willpower to not look at them and possibly give away the whole mission, ' _Damn, Hanji and them really hid them well, didn't they? From where I just came from, I couldn't see them at all until I had already passed by them._ '

Loud miniature explosions could be heard from where you had just passed as the womanly titan ran into the trapped area, and the vibration that you had felt coming from the ground stopped as the blonde humanoid was stopped in its tracks with skin-piercing spearheads. The sounds didn't stop the further you got, instead they only seemed to dim with the distance created by Chestnut as you waited for further instruction from Levi. It was only after a good thirty seconds of riding -and a few relieved huffs of air sounding from not only you, but also behind you amongst the tapping of hooves on the ground- that the corporal stood up on his horse, seeming to be ready to take off with his 3DMG as he took his blades into his hands, "Gunther, take care of my horse. You're in charge, keep going ahead for a little longer and then go up into the trees." He paused for a second, drinking in everyone's faces behind you before his steely orbs landed on yours, "Oi, are you coming (Y/N)?"

Your eyes enlarged slightly, not expecting him to have offered for you to tag along, "In a second, sir."

As you heard the gas release from his gear, you looked down at your hands that clenched the leather reins within them, ' _In fact, it's probably best I do. That way, I can help as much as possible in extracting whoever it is inside this She-Titan and make sure that we can take them in for the rest of the plan -assuming that Erwin still wishes to follow it. Although, at this point this would make three shifters to catch, wouldn't it? The Colossal Titan, the Armoured Titan, and -if it really is a shifter- now the She-Titan._ '

"You good there, (Y/N)?" Gunther asked as he rode at your left, bobbing up and down on his own horse as he led Levi's mare at his left -something you hadn't seen or hear him do, ' _Dang, what is that, the second or third time I've been lost in my thoughts today? Get it together, (L/N)! You can't afford to do this right now._ '

"Yeah, just confused about that whole She-Titan."

The tanned male let out a quiet hum, looking to you and giving you a reassuring smile, "We'll be ok, this isn't the first time something unexpected has happened to us."

"Yeah, yeah, _ok_." you said, gaining a jovial aspect about yourself that you assumed was partially due to the wave of relief that rolled across your body, "Y'know, because there wasn't a murderous beast chasing all of us just now."

You heard a snort come from behind you, and a glance told you that it was Eld, giving you a sarcastic thumbs up, "Got him _real_ good there, (Y/N)." Rolling your eyes, you stood up on your horse like Levi had only minutes prior -and although it was a tad bit less graceful than the ravenette, you still accomplished your goal with ease, "Oh shut up, the both of you are just meanies."

"At least you tell them," Oluo grumbled, head turned upwards the slightest bit as he rode on his horse, letting out a huff of air, "If we do anything, Corporal Levi will get on our ass."

"Oluo! What have I told you about cursing? It's improper!"

You only let out a giggle as you looked in between Oluo and Petra, Eld giving you this look that wordlessly communicated, " _This is what I was talking about yesterday._ " and a shift of your head to Gunther told you that he was doing almost the same exact thing. Looking off in the direction Levi went in, you let out a small sigh, "You guys be safe, I'll probably be back whenever he is. Love you guys," you spoke with a partial tease, looking at each of them with a gentle and genuine smile, "You too Eren, you're a part of our dysfunctional family now too." you added on, not wanting him to feel as if he was being excluded.

While the boy looked uncertain on what to say as he held an awkward yet content curve of his lips -almost as if he felt like he didn't exactly belong yet but liked the idea of it- the rest of Levi's squad replied at the same time, all of them speaking over each other, "Love you too!" -Petra- "You already know I do, silly." -Gunther- "Tch, yeah, yeah, I guess I do too..." -Oluo- "Eh, I'll think about it." -Eld.

You let out a scoff, jovially turning your head away from him as you got out your blades, "Ouch, Eld. That _hurts_ ," you whined, giving him a faux hurt look, "Now take care of my horse for me, will you?" you asked, giving him a devilish grin that told him you had only asked him because of his snarky response. Aiming your wires to some tree branches above, you smirked as his reply came, "No, wait, I take it back! I love you too, (Y/N)!"

"Too late meanie, suck it!" you teased as you stuck your tongue out at him, shooting off as you heard three things; a surprised yell from Eren at your word choice, something that seemed like loud laughter from Gunther, Petra and possibly Oluo, and an annoyed groan from Eld.

It was all in good fun though, because, despite all of the bickering and playful, false fights that often occurred between the five -now six, you supposed- of you, you all cared deeply for one another, ' _Now it's time to go over to the She-Titan and see what's happening,_ ' you thought to yourself as you went up and down between the trees, parting from the group as it became dead silent and the small bickering between them faded out, ' _I think I'll be able to see Hanji too amidst it all, which is a plus that couldn't have worked out better for me._ ' You then manoeuvred yourself closer to where you believed the female titan was, a smile resembling one of a lovesick teenager's plastered on your face as you thought of your lovable girlfriend, momentarily forgetting that you were in the middle of titan territory as you guided your wires to carry you through the forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated a little before 30 December, 2020!
> 
> I'm so sorry about the formatting of the letter, it's a little tricky for me to get right, so I really do hope it looks ok with the way it is ^^'' Also yes, the 57th expedition has been altered a little bit, just like I did with Eren's trial scene :3


	34. 34║The Female Titan

**Sunday, June 30, 850 at 11:41**

\---------------------------------------------------------- **  
**

" ** _Arghhhhhhhh!_** "

The grin that had been decorating your face crumbled and fell apart as a loud screeching broke across the air, causing you to almost forget about shooting your wires as you soon after started to quicken your pace, ' _What in the world is going on? Was that the She-Titan?_ ' You couldn’t help but fear the worst as you seemed to slowly inch closer and closer to your destination, eyes widening the smallest bit as you heard what sounded like a stampede of titans, ‘ _Oh fuck, what’s happening now?!_ ’

In your many years of testing on titans with Hanji, you had grown accustomed to the many sounds the monsters would make, and consequently many of their habits; excited giggles when they thought they were close to capturing prey, laboured breathing after extraneous activities despite the lack of a need for air -you supposed that maybe it was instinctual, although you weren’t completely sure on that- even small yawns that would fall upon your ears once sunlight was taken away from them. But even though you were just about as used to the titans and their weird doings as you could be, when you stumbled on the scene at hand you couldn’t do anything much more than gape at the sight and let out a horrified whisper, “ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵃᶜᵗᵘᵃˡ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ…“

Below your position hanging off a towering tree, you saw the many wires that served as a part of the STRAWs embedded deep within the She-Titan’s flesh, the tall, skinless body shielding its nape with its hands and remaining still as it was surrounded by a motley horde of smaller beasts -said titans eating the giantess in the middle of it all, tearing away ligaments and muscle fibres from the body in a bloody show, ‘ _Cannibalism?! Chica and Albert never showed signs of doing that! Unless it’s a feature of a shifter, but how would this help her in this case?!_ ’

“All soldiers, advance!” the shout that ripped out of Erwin’s vocals fell onto your ears, and even though you had just arrived you understood the crystal clear command in its entirety as you flew yourself forwards with a push of your legs against the tree’s bark, “Defend the Female Titan at all costs!”

‘ _So that’s what they’re calling her?_ ’ you thought to yourself as you neared some of the outer titans, ‘ _It doesn’t matter, it still references the same killer._ ’ Almost blanking out in a sense as you angled your blades and passed by a few other soldiers, you were easily able to slash through the nape of a five-metre titan, ‘ _In fact, it looks like all of these will be rather easy to kill,_ ’ you thought to yourself as you flicked your blades to rid it of some of the blood it held -wishing you could do the same to your shirt and pants that got splattered in the same hot liquid that plastered the fabric to your body uncomfortably- and using the titan’s already decaying body to propel yourself to your next target, a four-metre brunette, ‘ _All of them are so busy trying to eat her that they’re not paying any attention to us._ ’ A quick glance around told you that it was the same for a few others slicing away at the titans, you going to do the same to a nine-metre one that was more towards the centre once you easily finished the shorter one, ‘ _And while it means that the likelihood of casualties is low, it also means that our mission won’t be complete until the titans reduce her to bones or they themselves are killed._ ’

As you sunk your hooks into the left and right shoulders of the nine-metre titan, you narrowed your eyes in an expression of determination, ‘ _If that’s what it is, then so be it._ ’ Twisting your body to properly cut at the neck of the tall titan, you pressed the triggers on your handles to rapidly bring yourself closer to the enemy when a cry unexpectedly called out, “All soldiers, retreat!”

Once again, the voice belonged to Erwin -the commander of the Survey Corps deciding that a fallback was the best course of action despite everyone’s compliance to defend the Female Titan. Bringing your metallic blades through the skin, you managed to kill the titan before listening to his command, once again using the steaming figure to gain momentum in your newfound destination -up in the trees. It was only once your two feet landed on the branch of a tree that you allowed yourself to release a breath you didn’t realize that you were holding, keeping your blades in your hands until you saw a giant plume of smoke go up in the air from them -an indication that the titan blood had evaporated. The Female Titan made no noise while she was slowly torn apart, leaving an uncomfortable stillness in the air that you could only deem uncanny as you watched the scene unfold and carefully put your blades away.

It was only when they clicked into place and you readjusted the dark green cape on your shoulders that you heard someone approaching, and you soon found yourself enraptured in a pair of arms that squeezed you tight, ‘(Y/N)!” Hanji exclaimed, and you instinctively let your guard down a little when you realized that it was only the lovable brunette you were now able to call yours, “What are you doing here? And how long have you been here?”

Giggling as you rested your head in the crook of her neck, you breathed in her ever so calming scent through your nose -the familiar smell sending you back to more peaceful times when you weren’t in the middle of a titan-infested Wall Maria, “Levi said I could come over, and I figured I could help with capturing the shifter, but it seems like that’s not really plausible now,” you revealed, pulling back a little and smiling up at her, “And not that long, I only arrived when Erwin gave the command to defend her.” You partially nodded your head to the beast perpendicular to you, “(Y/NNNN)...” the girl whined, looking at you with something akin to concern, “What if one of them grabbed you? You should have found me first before going in…”

Your heart jumped in your chest at her worry for you, opting to lean forwards and plant a light kiss on her lips as you sent her a grin, “Hanji, I’m not defenceless y’know. I can handle myself.”

At the soft touch of your lips to hers her cheeks darkened -a sight that you took in and knew you would look back on later, “I know, I know,” she admitted, looking off to the side as the world went on around you both, “I would just hate to see anything happen to you.”

“Hanji Zoë,” you spoke, voice firm as you gently placed your dominant hand to her cheek and redirected her face towards your own, taking the time to adjust her goggles the smallest bit when you noticed they were slightly off centre and staring into her warm chocolate spheres afterwards -absolutely loving the way they swirled with part passion and part concern, “I, (Y/N) (M/N) (L/N), promise you that I know how to protect myself sufficiently -so much so, that if something does happen, there’ll be bigger things to worry about.”

Her features held a pensive look about them for a second, and it took her a moment to properly reply, “You’re my biggest concern,” she admitted, causing your face to flush a small bit, “ᴬⁿᵈ ᵇᵉˢⁱᵈᵉˢ, ᵒⁿᵉ ᵈᵃʸ...”

You rose a brow, not catching onto that last part, “Huh? What was that?”

A cheeky curve formed on those addictive lèvres of hers, one that told you she was up to no good, “One day it’ll be Mrs. (Y/N) Zoë.” Processing the words, your face became coated in a deep red once they were understood, your entire body growing hot in embarrassment, “Hanji!” you cried, pulling away as you heard the girl before you chuckle at your reaction, “It’s a little too soon to think about that, don’t you think?!”

She only nudged you softly with her elbow, “I know you better than I know anybody else, who’s better to marry?” the teasing tone in her words was not missed on you, but despite its playfulness, you couldn’t help but recognise the partial truth to her words, ‘ _We’ve been spending the past three years with each other, we practically know each other inside out at this point._ ’

“I mean, I don’t mind going by Hanji (L/N) if that’s what you’d prefer.” she added on, and as the words came out she gave a casual shrug -still not sobering up her laughter while you were still heavily flustered. You refused to meet her orbs with your own (E/C) ones as you took your blades to your hands again, ready to take off, “I’m going to find Levi,” you voiced, “Maybe he’ll tease me less.” It was clear that by the way your partner laughed at your words that she knew you took no actual offence to what you had said, and it wasn’t long after you took off to find the short and strict corporal with your gear that she trailed behind with her own 3DMG. Soon after the both of you flew off your hues landed on the man you were searching for, standing next to the commander of the Survey Corps as they seemed to converse with one another -and it was almost no time at all later that the both of you made yourselves known as you landed on the wooden branch, “Hanji, (Y/N), we were just about to call for all soldiers to fall back outside the forest.”

The ravenette didn’t speak a word, watching the conversation that formed between the section commander and Erwin play out just like you did, “We’re just going to let them eat her?” the mocha-haired girl asked as she partly threw a hand in the Female Titan’s direction. “Yes,” he replied, “This battle is already lost.”

“Ah,” she said gravely before her tone lightened a bit, “I’ll go tell my squad to get in formation then?” Her sentence was built as if it was a statement rather than an inquiry, but the raised intonation at the end made it clear she was looking for permission from the blonde, “That would be wise, Hanji.”

“If that’s all you have to say Erwin, (Y/N) and I are heading back.” came Levi’s voice, already turning to head off as he looked to you to make sure that you were ready. Even though it was sudden and you would have much rather preferred to spend more time with Hanji, you decided that all good things must come to an end and readjusted the handles to your blades in your hands, fingers itching to press down on its triggers as you readied yourself, ‘ _After all, I’m lucky enough that I was allowed to see Hanji now, I really shouldn’t act like a brat._ ’

“Wait,” Erwin put his hand on Levi’s shoulder, stopping the man from leaving the branch, “Refuel your gas and take new blades. Same for you, (Y/N).” Levi raised a brow at the male, giving him a sceptical look as you yourself couldn’t help but wonder why he would want you both to do such a thing.

Despite his clear confusion, the corporal chose not to question it as he nodded his head, “C’mon (L/N), let’s go.” He jumped off of the branch and dove down before catching himself with his wires, not giving you much of a choice but to do the same -but not before giving an almost apologetic grin to the brown-haired girl behind you at having to leave so soon. Using a little bit more gas than you should have by squeezing the triggers on your handles tight, you dodged leaves and the like as you caught up to the man who was heading in the direction of the refuel station, the both of you wordlessly making your way there in a comfortable silence -you had known the man for quite some time now after all, it was just something that came naturally.

Hanji’s cocoa spheres were locked onto your figure as she watched you head off, a small feeling of disappointment welling in her chest as you soon disappeared out of her sight at Levi’s side. “Erwin?” the female asked -not exactly sure what she was going to ask him until she had garnered his full attention and only realising what her subconscious had a few seconds after the commander let out a hum, “Hm?”

Moblit landed on the branch at that exact moment -and while Hanji wasn’t completely sure whether or not it was because he couldn’t’ find her until just now or because he was busy doing something else, she supposed it didn’t matter at the moment, “Why did you tell them to refuel and resupply their gear?”

Erwin’s cerulean hues connected to hers in an unblinking gaze, the seriousness and authority that poured out of them something that would have startled the girl had she not been accustomed to this behaviour coming from him, “You saw the Female Titan get eaten, did you not?”

“Yes.” she hesitantly spoke, not exactly certain where he was going with this seeing as he had asked her a question with an obvious answer. The man didn’t even get out half of his response when it clicked in the woman’s head though, the section commander instantly understanding what was going on as everything became much more clear, “Did you see the person inside get eaten?”

“W-Wait, Erwin!” Hanji exclaimed as she took a step closer to the male, “You don’t mean-”

“Yes, Hanji. I do.”

“But, (Y/N) and Levi, they’re-”

“Yes, they are.”

“We have to go and help them! We can’t expect them to-”

“ _Hanji_ ,” Erwin warned as he looked to her, a mixture of caution and sympathy displayed on his features, “The six of them make one of the strongest groups Humanity has, and with Eren now a part of it, they’re practically unstoppable.”

Hanji slightly froze as she took in the words, speaking up once she had a rebuttal, “Still, Erwin, you can send _me_ over, I’ll make sure-”

“ _Hanji Zoë!_ You are a _section commander_ receiving orders from a _commander_ , and I _expect_ you to obey the chain of command like any other soldier. You have an entire section to look after and control, and you are _needed_ for the formation to properly work. There is no _possible way_ for you to join them.”

An almost awkward silence passed as she took in his cruel words.

“I-... Yes, Commander Erwin. I apologise.” she let out, eyes hardening over at the realisation that despite how rudely his words came out, he was right. If anyone were to be able to see into her thoughts at that exact moment, they would probably be something along the lines of; ‘ _Erwin’s being reasonable, I’m not expendable to join them, and they’ll be fine on their own. Besides, (Y/N) said so herself. She’s strong and has clearly earned her place in Levi’s squad, I’m worrying over nothing really, I suppose._ ’

“You’re fine Hanji,” Erwin spoke as his voice softened from the hardened yell it previously was, “We just can’t afford for any more mishaps to happen.” The male then took off after informing the rest of the present Survey Corps members about the plan to fall back outside the forest, and Hanji spent a second longer to recollect her thoughts on the tree branch. It was only when a hand touched to her shoulder that she remembered that Moblit was right there with her, and she gave him a smile at his attempt of reassurance, “Thank you, Moblit.”

“Anytime, Section Commander Hanji.”

And then they both went off to their horses, ready to ride them back to a small base set up right outside the forest.

\----------------------------------------------------------

“ ** _Arghhhhhhhhh!_** ”

It was so out of place -so chilling and utterly terrifying, yet faint with a distance that only added to its effect- that it took you a moment to realise what had made that noise, “Was that _Eren_ …?” you asked, panic clear in your words as you couldn’t help but picture the worst causing for such a yell, ‘ _If it is, that can’t mean anything good. I need to get out there and help with whatever’s going on!_ ’

So despite the fact that the two of you were less than a minute away from reaching the refuel and resupply station, you turned your blades in a way that would redirect your wires to shoot off in the direction that the noise sounded from, “Levi! I’m going ahead!”

“(Y/N), no.”

At his blatant rejection your eyes widened, “I have to make sure that everyone’s ok though!”

“Erwin told us to refuel and that’s what we’re going to do.”

You looked off in the direction that the yell -that was way too booming and deep to have been of human origin- came from, ‘ _I can’t just stand here and restock while they’re in potential danger! What the hell has gotten into Levi lately, first he completely ignored their pleading questions before and now he wants to lounge around while his squad is potentially in danger?! Does he want them to get hurt or something?!_ ’

Pointing your (E/C) orbs in his direction, you defiantly shook your head, “No Levi, punish me for insubordination later, but I _need_ to check on them. Something has to be going wrong right now, there’s no way that wasn’t Eren!” Completely forgetting about the titles you were supposed to be using in the moment, you shot your wires to head off -already speeding away as you could hear Levi snap at you, “Goddamnit (Y/N),” he growled lowly through grit teeth, yet still loud enough for you to hear him, “This is an _order_ , refuel your supplies right now. I’m sure Erwin has his reasons.”

You only looked over your shoulder as you glared at him, still heading away from the man, “Sorry Levi, but unlike some people, I don’t kiss Erwin’s ass all the time. I put my _friends' lives_ first.” The hidden punch your words held was not missed on the male, although you didn’t see -or care to see, really- the effect your reference to when he threatened you had on him, already pushing your gear and your manoeuvering skills to the limit as you blindly headed off to where you heard the yell at top speed.

As you seemed to slowly get closer and closer, you noticed not only the way the trees seemed to tremble, but also the loud and irregular thuds that emanated not too far off. Strained grunts and heavy pants were easily heard -the noise undoubtedly coming from Eren’s titan- as the wind produced from your speed blew against your face, even more so when you made a sharp turn onto the main pathway that you and the entirety of the Special Operations Squad had ridden on before.

Then your breath hitched in your throat as you looked ahead on the trail.

And your world started to fall apart.

“ᵂ⁻ᵂʰᵃᵗ…” the words died on the tip of your tongue, a sickening feeling building up in your stomach as you couldn’t bear to take your eyes away from the horrid sight. There, a good fifteen to twenty metres in front of you, was Gunther all wrangled up in his cape -the wires to his gear keeping him held at a tree’s side, his back bent in a still crescent shape with his torso pointed to the sky- the only way you were able to tell it was him being the small, faint tufts of dark, pointed hair that stuck out from underneath the cloth. ‘ _Nonononononononono, oh God, I need to help him! He must be really hurt!_ ’ Not many more thoughts passed your mind as you felt your eyes water, rapidly nearing the male and planting your feet on the bark of the tree so that your face was almost level to his -making sure not to run into him in case his situation was dire and any small movement would further injure him, “Gunther, buddy, I’m gonna remove the cape from your face, o-ok? I just need to see how bad it is, so- please don’t move.” You didn’t give him more than a second to reply before you sheathed your blades and grasped onto the green fabric that covered him with your dominant hand -only to gasp and let it go when it was wet and sticky. Since the fabric was such a dark green, and you had been preoccupied with other things, you hadn’t noticed the shadowed tinting to the cape.

Taking in another sharp breath of air, you stared wide-eyed in horror at the warmness that covered your palm and fingers- a deep, ever so rich crimson that was easily recognisable to not only you, but anyone else who had faced a titan’s wrath. It took you a few moments to regain your composure, “G-Gunther…?”

Now prepared for it, you kept your hold onto the stained cape and pulled it from his body -only to find yourself drenched in a cold sweat afterwards as your jaw dropped, biting your tongue as you suppressed a scream in the back of your throat. His head was turned to the side abnormally, now dull blue eyes unblinking in a form of surprised terror and staring right past your own hues. A deep slash ran across his neck, about halfway through the base and cut in such an odd way that caused for his neck to almost unravel the smallest bit -done so that, through the congealing blood that dripped from his trachea in lumps, you could see part of the bone that made up his spine dyed a dark scarlet.

The tears that used to be welled up in your eyes grew bigger and bigger, until eventually, they poured down your cheeks in a consistent flow, gritting your teeth as you heard another yell off in the distance; this time much, much closer.

“ ** _ARGHHHHHHHHH!_** ”

You gently brought your hand that wasn’t covered in blood over to Gunther’s face, noting that it still held a faint warmth and running it across his eyes so that they closed, “Rest t-tight there, bestie. You’re finally at peace.” You couldn’t help the way your voice cracked, completely choking up as you eventually used your gear to get away from the man you had joked around with only yesterday, now cutting through the woods and advancing to the irregular noises in the forest with a clear goal in mind.

‘ _Ninety._ ’

Grief and guilt almost blinded you, your new determination to get to the primal shouts stemming from your will to carry out what Gunther had died trying to do -protect Eren at all and any costs and make sure he gets back inside those damned Walls, ‘ _If the rest of the team hasn’t that is, I’m sure they’re working on some sort of plan to get Jaeger back to an ensured safety. Because there is no way they would just leave Gunther like that if they had a choice._ ’ Using more gas than you normally would’ve, you almost flew yourself right into a tree in your rush -the only thing that saved you being your pure instincts as you reeled in your wires to pull you to the side more. Up ahead you saw an opening, or rather what looked to be a clearing of trees, as you sped up once more. Breaking the clearing, you felt your stomach drop once more -your face twisting in an indescribable agony for the second time that day as two things caught your immediate attention.

The first one; Oluo. Upon the dusty trail laid the teen, the sandy blonde looking as if he were only taking a peaceful nap if it weren’t for the giant splatter of blood that served as some sort of messed up cushion to what you could only assume was a brutal fall -and consequentially, an unforgiving end. The second one was Petra; the woman pressing her front torso flush against the bark of the overgrown tree -her eyes staring lifelessly to the rustling leaves above her with her neck bent at an unnatural upwards angle.

You brought yourself down to the male, closing his eyes and covering his face with his hood so that he would look somewhat normal as he rested upon the soil. Not being able to help it, you watched as a tear slipped past your eye and fell onto the fabric of his cape, a gentle and almost inaudible _tap_ playing out as the salted water fell down. You shook your head a small bit to refocus and moved to do the same with Petra -until you realized that the position that her neck was in wouldn’t allow you to do so unless you moved her a bit. So instead of using her own cape, you took off your own -feeling the way it brushed and tugged against your tan leather jacket- and covered her body the best you could with it, but only after you made sure that her reddish-brown hues were shut one last time.

‘ _Ninety-two._ ’

“ ** _𝘼𝙍𝙂𝙃𝙃𝙃𝙃𝙃𝙃𝙃𝙃!_** ”

The sound was almost deafening, yet the primitive rage it held was not something that you missed, seeing as it was one that you felt burn deep inside you. Brushing the tears away from your eyes and letting out a quiet sniffle, you glared at the scene not too far away from you -there stood Eren’s titan, its body leaning against a tree as the Female Titan, whom you had thought had been eaten, rested its palms against its knees to recuperate as well, “You fucking bitch…” you couldn’t help but mutter, mind empty as you used your gear to set off in the direction of the giantess -the triggers to your handles gripped tightly, “Eld and I, we’re going to make you pay...”

In your absolute anger, you couldn’t stop the way a giggle escaped your throat -and if you were to be completely honest, you weren’t sure if it was caused by your unfathomable aggravation, or if it was simply a coping mechanism that stopped you from breaking down right then and there on the spot, ‘ _I don’t know where Eld is, maybe he saw that he was the last one left and went to get help…_ ’ you noted to yourself, angling your blades properly as you neared the skinless titan too slowly for comfort, ‘ _But all I know is that I’m not letting him die, not on my watch._ ’

Before you could get too close to the scene you were trying your best to reach however, the Female Titan did something that made you almost stop completely in your tracks. It turned to its opponent, getting into a proper fighting stance where it raised its right hand slightly in front of its face and its left one closer to its body, right leg slightly in front of it as well in a small bent position and left leg almost straight as it leaned its body back a little. Then it threw its left leg towards Eren’s titan face in a kick that was familiar to you, her foot making a clean cut through the opposing titan’s head -as well as the trunk that Eren was leaning on- and revealing the worn-out brunette and causing you to speed forwards, ‘ _That’s the same fucking kick that Sawney and Bean’s killer used! You’re telling me that this bastard is the same damn person?!_ ’

The rage that flowed throughout your veins was almost matched exactly with the adrenaline that was in your bloodstream, and you used it to your advantage to hurl yourself full speed at the one being you hated more than anything else in the world, “YOU FUCKING BITCH!” you cried out, ready to strike down at her nape with enraged hues of a darkened (E/C), “I’LL _KILL_ YOU!” As soon as you were ready to make a cut however, she dodged it -ducking down and instantly bringing her right hand to the nape of her neck. And if it weren’t for a fast reaction on your part, you would have been instantly killed when she made a move for your wires -only missing by mere centimetres when you recoiled the wire into your gear in an attempt to confuse her, ‘ _First I’ll have to take out her arms, then once she is unable to protect her nape, I’ll make the killing blow._ ’

Letting yourself fall until you were underneath her one arm, you sunk your hooks into the Female Titan’s upper side for support before your feet hit her body, soon launching yourself up with a kick of your legs as you soon after sliced through its arm deep enough for it to break. The hit damaged your blades to a near useless length, causing you to drop them and replace them as quickly as you could while you swung yourself in a wide radius around her back, ‘ _All I have to do now is get her other arm._ ’

In the middle of your venture to her opposite appendage however, you started to sink downwards -rapidly losing momentum as you heard a sputtering emit from the gas tanks of your gear, ‘ _Goddamnit!_ ’

Everything seemed to slow down as its head whipped in your direction, a hungry glaze swept across its powdery blue eyes as it used its good arm to strike at you in a quick turn. You found yourself without many options, and so you did the only thing you could think of in that very moment -you did your best to slash at the hand coming towards you with your gear, sinking as low as you could to avoid it.

But it still wasn’t enough.

You barely managed to dislodge her attack the smallest bit by cutting through her arm partially, but this in turn led to your stronger arm getting hit towards your own chest -the sheer force behind the blow sending you flying towards a green blur that you couldn’t make out, the very last sensation you felt being a sharp and prominent pain in your one hand as the world snapped to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated a little before 6 January, 2021!
> 
> Heh, first upload of the year and things are looking pretty bright for you, eh? 🙈


	35. 35║Gone

**Sunday, June 30, 850 at 12:11**

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It was as soon as you disappeared out of his sight that Levi knew that something would go horribly wrong. Although he didn’t express it, he had gained that uncomfortable swirl of uneasiness in the pit of his stomach as he filled his gas tanks up and renewed his blades -making sure that they were properly secured in his holsters and hooked up before he gave a curt nod to the soldier manning the station, soon after heading off. His steely blue eyes remained focused, observant and taking in everything he could around him -the last yell that came from who he believed to be Eren was a good minute or two ago, and the corporal knew very well that that probably meant one of three things; one, nothing had happened and it was simply an abnormal, two, it had been Eren and you and the rest of the Special Operations Squad stopped whatever threat there was, or three, his squad was unable to stop the threat and said threat had either killed or kidnapped the young shifter.

He was hoping for the first option, but his subconscious wouldn’t let him believe it -solely based on the fact that Erwin had instructed you and him to refuel your supplies, the unusual command not going over the male’s head as he remained suspicious.

Many times in the man’s life had he been on the battlefield, and even more times had he seen people he had known be torn apart -he had come to learn that it was even worse when you didn’t see them in their final moments, only to find out in safety that they had been practically mauled to death.

So for one to say that he was unfamiliar with the subject of death would be a blatant lie.

Yet as he manoeuvered himself past the stilled, hanging body of Gunther, he couldn’t help the way he smally tensed up, eyes partially staring out in a dread that no one would be able to pick up on -even if there were living people nearby to see said sight. The man had picked up the uncanny ability to mask his emotions due to these scenarios, after all. So as he passed by Eld’s body further down the trail -his body laying face up on the ground, eyes uselessly staring forwards in a steady hold that seemed, if his amber spheres were working, it would have been obscured by the blood that coated his entire face thickly- his face remained almost perfectly neutral, and if one were to see him at that moment, they would even dare to say that he was unaffected by what he had just seen. Looking to the ground told him that the footfalls that had imprinted themselves into the ground took him on a curve that offshooted from the main body, and when he followed it he immediately knew that he had gone in the correct direction.

He couldn’t help the way he slowed down when he reached Oluo and Petra, the two of them not too far off from each other in their resting places. The once arrogant teen who had copied the corporal for the longest time remained motionless as he sprawled himself upon the ground, and the strawberry blonde who said teen adored so much had her neck craned in a way that was impossible for any living human being -something Levi could easily tell even through the extra green cape that covered her body, the only way he knew it was her being the fact that when he grabbed the hand that belonged to the corpse, it was cold. Not enough time had passed for it to have been you, it would have still been warm. He continued his way further along the trail, hues of a greyed blue searching for the last two members of his squad -and it was only when he entered an opening, where it looked like a struggle occurred, and saw your body that he knew Eren was in immense danger. Unlike he had with Oluo and Petra, he didn’t stop to observe the last member of his squad that he had hopes of being alive -seeing in a quick glance the way your body was spread out in a pile of greenery with splotches of red all over your torso was enough to tell him that you had achieved the same fate as the other four members. He knew that the rest of his squad had been dead by the time you arrived given that you no longer wore your hood, which he assumed you had given to Petra -meaning that your last moments surely were filled with sadness, grief and -if he still knew you well enough from before you were a captain- rage.

As Levi flew off in the direction he could hear loud thumps -surely a titan running away, perhaps Eren was sprinting away from the threat, or the threat was sprinting after him- he could only ponder if it would have ended up better to have left for his squad before resupplying as you had -or that maybe you would at least still be alive if he had done so. But as soon as the thought entered his head he pushed it out and sped up his pace.

After all, there simply are no right or wrong answers, it’s only ever a mixture of both.

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Slowly, you sleepily blinked your eyes open, a haziness about you that you could only describe as comfort -and despite the familiar term that you applied to the feeling, it was almost like nothing you had ever felt before. It was almost numbing, but when you focused on the feeling it seemed to dissipate into nothing, once again leaving you completely clueless as to what it even felt like.

Seeing that you were getting nowhere losing yourself in your thoughts, you opted to look around you and figure out what was going on -immediately landing your (E/C) spheres upon the many trees that loomed over you dormantly. They were tall and plentiful, and you found yourself raising your dominant hand up to them before you even understood what you were doing -soon clenching and unclenching your hand into a fist that you moved gently about in the sun’s rays to see the light shine on it. Bringing up your other hand at the first one’s side, you also held your palm flat out to the sky before curling the fingers tight into a ball -only this time, you partially raised a brow in confusion, ‘ _Something doesn’t feel right,_ ’ you noted to yourself curiously, lowering your hand to your face and flexing the fingers to try and see if something was wrong -only to find nothing, ‘ _But it works the same, so I guess it’s not too big of a deal right now._ ’

“(Y/N)!” a voice called out, soon being followed by a similar one that had a tinge more of deepness stirred in, “There she is, I thought we’d never find her!”

Sitting up a bit and bringing your hands down, it was only then that you realised that you had been laying down on a bush, the green fern now morphed a small bit from where it had supported your weight -and once your eyes finally focused on the people who were addressing you, you couldn’t help but smile, “Guys!” you cried out with a grin, feeling yourself become overly relieved for seemingly no reason, “What do you mean?”

Petra offered you a hand, her pale skin connecting to your own tinted a (S/C) colour as she contracted her arm and pulled you up to your feet, you pushing the best you could with your legs and pulling with your arms to work with the assisting girl, “Well, we’ve been looking for you, (Y/N).”

To be honest, you weren’t sure if the simplicity of her words calmed you down, or the fact that you were just so very emotional in that moment, but you found tears of happiness prick in the corners of your eyes. You pulled the young woman into a hug, seeing the other two who had spoken up earlier to be Gunther and Oluo as you glanced over her shoulder. Your face brushed against her soft, bobbed hair -tickling your nose slightly as she accepted the warm embrace. She pulled back a bit, holding you at arm’s length in a fashion that wasn’t far off from a mother’s, only for Oluo to near the girl and put a gentle hand on her shoulder, sending a content grin your way that only added onto the comfort and calm. Petra slowly let go of you completely, taking a few steps back as Gunther walked more into your line of sight.

You only ran towards the male, jumping up and wrapping your arms around his neck as he hugged you tightly to himself with a chuckle, easily supporting your weight, “Man, I don’t think I’ve ever been so glad to see you.” Giving him one last squeeze, you loosened your grip and silently signalled to the man that you wanted to be let down, “I’m not sure why I do right now, but… me too, Gunther. Me too.” You sent him a toothy grin, and it was only when you looked around once more that the curve on your lips faltered, “Hey guys, where’s Eld?”

“Ah, we’re still looking for him,” the tanned male admitted, eyebrows creasing in worry for the man that meant a lot to the both of you -the four of you if you were going to be honest. Nodding your head in understanding, you couldn’t help but give an optimistic smile to not only him, but the other two with you, “Well, we should get to looking then, huh?” As you said the words, you clasped your hands together in a clap -and you had to keep back a frown when you remembered that weird feeling on part of your one hand- before taking a few steps ahead backwards and gesturing for your friends to follow you, “C’mon! Eld won’t find himself!”

You felt your heart warm as you noticed Petra grabbing onto Oluo’s hand, and let out a laugh as Gunther walked up to your side and made fake gagging sounds, “Don’t act like they’re not cute, Gunther.” you playfully scolded, pointing one finger at him as you turned yourself back around to walk normally, “They’re not,” he protested in a whine.

“Just admit it, bestie. It’s ok, really.”

“I would, but there’s nothing to admit to.”

“Oh please, just look at them!”

“And see them be all lovey-dovey? Nah, I’m good.”

“C’mon, just one little peak-”

“We can hear you guys, y’know that, right?”

You could only snort at the words, throwing your eyes back in their direction, “If you’re not on my side, this doesn’t concern you.” Blowing a raspberry at them, you saw the reddish-brown haired girl roll her eyes at your words playfully while Oluo scoffed, “Do you not remember what you’re arguing about? Of course it includes us!”

“ˢʰʰ!” Gunther started suddenly, making everyone become much more alert and silent in that very moment, “ᴵ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ᴵ ʰᵉᵃʳ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ!”

Directing your hues in the same direction as his deep navy ones, you squinted your eyes as if it would help you see what he was hearing. It was just when you deemed his warning as false, you heard a rustling to your left -causing you to immediately turn to it and take a few steps hesitantly, “Hello?” you called out, making sure to keep your voice strong as you called for the person’s attention.

“(Y/N)?” called back a voice that easily recognised you, one that was murky in your head but clear enough to the point where you understood that it belonged to someone you knew well. Then Eld broke through a clearing, coming out from behind a tree as his amber orbs met to yours -and you felt an immense relief that the others had seemingly felt when they had found you. You ran forwards in a sprint, arms opened out wide and soon wrapping around his torso as you hugged him tightly -ignoring the wheeze of air that escaped his lungs when you slammed into his chest, seeing as he soon returned the affectionate gesture, “Where were you?” you asked him, pulling back and looking up at him, “We’ve been looking all over for you, Eld!”

“We?” he asked, first scanning your face quizzically before looking past your shoulder with an inquisitive gaze, “Who else are you talking about? Where are they?”

Right after he finished what he was saying, you heard another question call out from behind you, the sound coming from Gunther, “What are you doing (Y/N)? Do you see him?”

You could only let out a jovial scoff, first looking at Eld given as you were already facing him before looking back at Gunther, “Ha ha,” you dryly started with a playful smirk, “ _Very funny_ guys. C’mon, let’s get going.” Grabbing and tugging on Eld’s hand, you tried to pull him towards the others and stumbled in surprise when he pulled you back towards him, “(Y/N), I don’t know what or who you’re seeing and hearing, but… I promise you I’m not lying when I say I don’t see anyone.” Almost protectively, he took a step in front of you and tried to peek around and find the other people you were talking about -staring right at them but to no avail.

“(Y/N)!” Gunther cried as he saw you stumble in the other direction, jogging up to you as he went right past Eld and gently held onto your opposite arm, “Do you feel ok? Did you become lightheaded?” Oluo and Petra soon rushed over as well, looking at you in a silent worry -Petra’s much more apparent than Oluo’s, yet his was still noticeable.

Dazed, you could only stutter out a response as you stared out, trying to process his words, “Y-Yes, Gunther, I’m uh…, I’m fine.”

“Gunther?” Eld let out -but before Eld could finish the rest of his sentence, Gunther spoke up, making the words difficult to understand but you still managed to differentiate the two voices after a second, “That’s good, but if you need anything, please let us know.” “Are you feeling ok there, (Y/N)? You’re acting kinda strange.”

The dark brown haired male then tugged on your arm in a soft pull to usher you closer to the three who seemingly couldn’t see Eld and in the direction you had been going before, “C’mon, let’s go.” As he pulled you away from Eld you couldn’t bring yourself to struggle, only stumble with him in confusion as to what was going on, “(Y/N)!” The blonde who couldn’t see the rest of the squad shouted in concern, pulling on your arm to try and help keep you in place, “Corporal Levi! (Y/N)’s here but something’s wrong!”

You could hear hurried footsteps coming from Eld’s direction as Gunther let out a gasp, giving another tug to your arm that Eld only returned, “Guys, help me!” Oluo was quick to respond by placing his hands onto your arm, and not long after Petra did the same -holding tightly onto your hand and pulling you towards her. This caused Eld to stumble greatly, digging his heels into the ground as he shouted, “I’m not giving up on you, (Y/N)!” Levi soon came onto the scene, not taking long to grab onto the same arm that Eld was grabbing onto once he saw his struggling and barking out a question, “Oi, what the hell is happening?!” The ravenette grit his teeth as he did his best to pull you to his side, finding it to be quite the tumultuous task.

As soon as Levi joined, the opposing side jolted towards you a bit at the unexpected, added force, causing for many voices to call out from both sides, the voices now becoming a garbled mess to the point where you had no clue who said what -if you even heard them correctly, “Pull harder!” “Don’t give up, (Y/N)!” “I’ve no clue, corporal!” “Goddamnit!” “Help us!” “We’ve got you!” “No, we’re losing her!” “We need to-!” You squinted your eyes shut, doing your best to tune everything out and wincing to yourself, feeling a wetness creep down your cheeks, wanting all of the yelling and tugging to just _stop_. It was too chaotic, everything begging to take your attention as your mind slipped about from one group to the other -that was until one voice cried out.

“(Y/N)!”

Letting out a gasp, you looked in the direction where the call came from; your eyes immediately falling upon the chocolate-haired girl who called out for your attention, “Hanji!” Seeing your struggling, she quickly ran before the other two males that were pulling you towards them and grasped around your waist with her boots digging themselves deep into the foresty terrain, her being the main factor that caused you to slip out of the other’s hold as you toppled over on top of her. Levi and Eld kneeled next to the woman who was now holding you to make sure you were ok, and when you turned your head back to look at Gunther, Oluo and Petra, you couldn't help but curiously stare out when you noticed that they were gone. Not walking away, not using their gear, not even fading from sight. Just _gone_.

You weren’t sure what was going on anymore, but amidst it all, you knew one thing; you were with Hanji now, and that meant that you were safe.

**Sunday, June 30, 850 at 12:30**

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**

Levi planted his feet down on the ground noiselessly, trying to keep his mind clear of what had just happened minutes prior as he handed off the sleeping shifter -Eren Jaeger- to the boy's adoptive sister -Mikasa Ackerman. When he had caught up to the sounds earlier, he ran into the Female Titan running away from Mikasa with an unconscious Eren -and it didn't take long for the ravenette to put two and two together that the boy was being kidnapped. He then managed to retrieve Eren from the blonde shifter, but only after sustaining an injury to his left foot -he thought that maybe it was broken, although he wasn't completely sure. Nonetheless, he managed his way through the Giant Tree Forest with his 3DMG, not even bothering to call for his horse -figuring he would be able to get it later- as he rushed out of there to get Eren to safety, the girl who always adorned a crimson scarf not far behind.

Had the corporal been all alone in his office right now, he supposed that he would have appeared more downcast and let the situation truly hit him at face value -that wasn't to say that he wasn't aware of everything that has happened though, he just wasn't allowing himself to dwell on it because he was in titan territory. And he knew very well that one ought to keep their mind sharp and focused while outside the Walls. Yet despite that, he kept finding his mind drifting back to his newly dead squad as he carefully made his way off from the congregation of soldiers that made up the supply station, looking in the direction of the forest of giant trees with a blank façade.

"Hey, Levi!"

Upon hearing the voice coming from behind him, the male tensed up -his now still ashen hues staring out to the woods as he refused to turn around and look at the person. It wasn't anything that was noticeable to anyone, and certainly not the woman who was making her way to him, but it still was something that -to the keenest of eyes- showed that he wasn't as stoic as he showed himself to be, "Have you seen (Y/N)? Which way did she go?"

Almost as a defence mechanism, he kept his tone cold and short as he replied without hesitation, "She's gone."

Hanji froze a small bit at his voice. She could feel her heartbeat quicken in anxiety yet stop altogether in dread at the same time, not sure how to take his words nor their true meaning, "Well, _yeah…_ I know that," the brunette stated cautiously, choosing to go with the more innocent meaning his words could hold and walking past the shorter man so that she was now standing in front of him, "I'm asking what _direction_ she went in so I can check up on her."

“ _Hanji_ ,” Levi voiced out, that way he spoke her name coming out almost like a warning, a plea for her to stop and just drop it. The ravenette wasn’t sure of the official relationship status between you and the section commander, but he did know one thing -that you deeply cared for each other. He was positive that anyone with functioning eyes could clearly see that the both of you pined for the other from afar -and even if you both hadn’t, the two of you were certainly close friends seeing as you’ve worked with each other closely for the past three years.

It was just when he was about to turn away from the girl and let her figure it out on her own -if she hadn’t already- that he realised that that would be too cruel. Keeping in a sigh, the corporal directed his gaze to the soldier -his eyes lacking that sharp edge it usually kept but made up for by the stab his following words had on the woman.

“(Y/N) is dead.”

At his bluntness, the section commander’s eyes widened, “W-What?” she stuttered out the question with a nervous laugh, not exactly sure if she could truly bring herself to believe his words, “Levi…, what do you mean?” The brunette could feel the panic that had once been more dormant in the pit of her stomach fully awaken, the swirls of fear and adrenaline causing a rush of cold sweat to sweep across her body. She felt like everything had just stopped in that one moment, and she desperately searched the male’s face for any sign of a lie -only to find none as he spoke up once more.

“You know damn well what I mean.”

Ignoring the harsh undertone his words now carried, she continued to inquire about you for the answers she needed with more urgency, “No, seriously, I-... where is she? I want to talk to her before we leave…”

The ravenette only stared at her, his eyes partially narrowed in a small glare that went unnoticed as she ignored his words. There was a pause as the woman waited for him to respond, her taking the liberty to do so herself when he remained quiet, “If you don’t know where she is, you can tell me. I’ll go ask Erwin or something, it’s not really a big-”

“Hanji!” Levi shouted, the agony that she brought to the situation only adding onto his own guilt until it built up and he couldn’t take any more -and at that precise moment his façade broke for a millisecond as anger overtook him, “Wake up, will you?! She’s in the damn forest, _dead_ , along with the rest of my squad!”

She stared at him with a blank face, a faint pressure building up behind her muddy spheres that she refused to be let known to the world.

No move was made as they studied each other -Hanji simply reeling in the reality that you were supposedly dead, and Levi trying to decipher what kind of reaction the brunette was going to give.

Hanji could only keep her eyes locked onto his as she heard a shout call out from not too far, the voice easily placed as Erwin’s, “ _Everybody who was in the centre of formation, go back in groups and collect the dead! We start our return in half an hour! Everybody else remain to defend our base unless otherwise instructed!_ ”

“Take me to her.” she voiced out dully, the tone she used sounding almost foreign to herself as she waited for him to answer her -and she surprised herself at the way it wasn’t all choked up, although she supposed that it was because she couldn’t believe that you were actually gone. Not for one damn second. You had directly told her that you would be fine after all, that you were able to protect yourself -and she didn’t care what you were doing or who it was you were up against, surely if you said that you would be fine, then you would be.

At first the male didn’t speak to her, taking a moment for himself before he let out a minuscule huff, bringing his left hand to his mouth as he whistled for a horse -and at the sound, a soldier brought a new one over for the corporal to use, “C’mon then.”

And so they left as soon as Hanji did the same, along with many other soldiers who were there to almost do the same thing as them -the only difference being that they were going to _you_ in particular.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated a little before 13 January, 2021!
> 
> Happy early 8 month birthday, story of mine!!!! Lmao 💀
> 
> Also, just a heads up- there are only five more *planned* chapters left after this one


	36. 36║Denial

**Sunday, June 30, 850 at 12:36**

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Hanji concluded that she was in denial -or perhaps some sort of shock. She had always been more on the childish side, always loudly expressing herself, broadcasting her emotions wherever she went, and helping others where she saw fit. She was known for being crazy, near-suicidal with her attempts at titan experimentation with a bright, optimistic smile -more or less marked as responsible with her job but still irresponsible with her own life, despite the fact that she had never gotten severely injured. Yet as she gripped the leather reins to Bramble in her fists while riding towards her supposed dead partner in crime -you, the one and only (Y/N)- her face remained without a saddened expression; no tears to be found cascading down her cheeks, nor was there even a crease of her brows to show how worried, concerned and honestly, devastated she _should be_. Her mind couldn't truly focus on one thought, but rather a diverse medley of trivial ones instead that -along with the fact that she didn't feel upset at all- led her to the conclusion that she hadn't been able to accept the cold reality that was proving to be true.

So as she continued to follow not too far behind Levi -who was on his own mare- she let her eyes carelessly wander around her surroundings; to the forever towering tree branches that hung over her head with a tiny shake under the wind's blow, the way Bramble's mane swooshed around her head with her speed and the tiny splotches of sunlight that decorated the dusty trail in its bright, midday patches. Her eyes drifted from one sight to another, curiously taking it all in until her eyes fell upon the corporal, who had just started to slow down.

Slightly quickening her horse's speed by squeezing her feet into the horse's sides, she caught up to the man and saw two soldiers lying dead on the ground. She came to the realisation that they were Oluo and Petra since Levi continued to pass by them -she was sure of their names because you had talked about them plenty, and on top of that they had been in the Survey Corps for quite the while- and it was almost like a slap to the face that they were actually _gone_. No, she hadn't known them well -and now it seemed like she never would- but she felt a chill run up her spine at that moment, a direct cause of the confirmation that the Special Operations Squad -supposedly the strongest group of soldiers humanity had- had taken a significant blow, whether you were gone or not.

The mocha haired girl felt her mouth dry as Levi slowed down to a stop at a clearing, and by the way there were plenty of indentations on the ground -big enough to only belong to a titan- she could tell that a huge struggle had occurred here somewhat recently. The ravenette waited by her side for a moment, quietly speaking up after a minute in his usual strong voice before he started to turn away, "Make sure you're back before everyone leaves."

Then he trotted away, undoubtedly to make sure that the rest of his squad was returned back within the Walls for proper closure for their families -if not for his own sake. Hanji didn't get off of her horse, remaining uncharacteristically silent as she partially looked around -that was until her eyes caught onto something shiny in the thick and moderately unruly grass that carpeted the ground. She couldn't help but raise a brow at it, and found herself getting up and locking her cocoa hues upon it until she was close enough to see what it was; not too far apart from each other was a set of dulled, shortened blades, the edges chipped and worn with use partially beneath the shoots of grass. Kneeling, she picked one of the smaller shards that had split off up, angling it in the sun to take a closer look at all of the scratches and marks that were engraved in its surface -and despite the hazard it posed, she placed the separated metal into her breast pocket, that was free of her field journal, with a soft plop -certain that it was yours because this is where you supposedly were. She stood up fully once more, now tasking herself with the mission to find out where you were.

And at first she couldn't see you.

It was only after she had spun herself around in a circle gradually that her eyes caught upon a once pristine pair of white pants that all soldiers of humanity donned, your body resting without movement in a bush and angled so that -from where she stood- she couldn't see your face. Hanji felt her breath catch in her throat, air having never felt so suffocating than in that second where she forced herself to near you despite her own internal protests -and even once she reached the brush that you were lying in she could not bring herself to do anything more than just blankly stare.

Carefully, she pushed some of the branches that made up the bush to the side, using her leg to hold some down and facilitate taking off your bulky 3DM gear -that was caught up in various twigs- and getting you out of the shrubbery. Putting her left arm underneath your neck carefully, she looped her right arm under your knees before pulling you close to her and picking you up off of the bush, taking attentive steps off of the leaves as she placed her feet onto the forest floor once more. She only allowed herself to really look at you when she sank to the floor, cradling you gently within her arms as she pulled you on her lap.

You were covered in many colours; your tan leather jacket that the Survey Corps assigned to all associated, your (S/C) skin that was covered in light brown dirt and blue and purple bruises, and your (H/C) hair that surrounded your head a bit more messily than usual.

But the most prominent colour that stood out to her was red.

There was a great deal of it, countless patchy splotches of a deep, dark blood covering your torso unevenly -and it instantly hit her that the liquid didn't flow from your core, but rather your one hand. The appendage was deeply cut, the laceration that ran through a good portion of your palm nearly cutting off your pinkie and ring finger of your non-dominant hand through your palm -the only thing that was still attaching your fingers to your hand being some stubborn skin that refused to let go and some muscle fibres that were partially thinned out, although she couldn't see it that well to begin with because your entire hand was thickly covered in lumped mounds of blood that seemed to be clotting up. The bones that made up your hand had been almost cleanly sliced through -it was only at the end where it looked as if the bone had been snapped the rest of the way, causing the section commander to wonder if you had landed on your hand after it had gotten cut. Seeing that this obviously wasn't caused by a titan her eyes naturally drifted over to your 3DMG -which she had taken off, namely, your blades. One was covered in an already partially dried blood, the wet substance coating it healthily in copious yet thin amounts that made it easily visible even with the distance that the section commander had from it -and it was pretty apparent that the blade that had once defended you ended up cutting your hand, injuring you.

The woman frowned as she tore her spheres away from the sight, deciding to instead take in your face -your eyes were shut closed, the beautiful (E/C) that once shone brightly now hidden beneath your eyelids forever, and multiple smaller cuts from the bush covered your face, small traces of scarlet upon the paling (S/C) flesh that she loved so much. Her eyes fell to your lips, and her mind instantly played back to when they had kissed her mere hours ago at best, the warmth they once held now seemingly gone as they remained partially split.

Hanji brought her one hand up to your face, steadily bringing some of your hair back behind your ear as she made the mental note that -if it hadn't been for your openly horrendous state- you would have looked as if you were simply sleeping and leaving all of your worries behind.

You looked truly at peace.

The brunette then leaned towards you and planted a kiss upon your head, the gentle and simple contact filled with a hidden sorrow as she then rested her forehead against yours, just letting herself rest with you for a brief second to try and let her mind catch up to what was happening. She just couldn't bring herself to believe it -she had seen you perfectly fine not too long ago after all, so why in the world were you laying on the ground, dead and bleeding out? It just didn't make sense, you had spoken to her and jested with her for the past three years, and now all the sudden you were just gone? No more talks were to be had, and no more hugs? Kisses? Nothing?

She could feel that pressure building up behind her oaken hues once more, serving as a good reminder that this was all happening -if your body wasn't evidence enough. Pulling away softly from you, she let a saddened smile lift her lips -the bittersweet action a telltale sign that she was reminiscing in all of the fond memories she had with you, of which there were plenty; jesting with you when you first joined and got easily flustered, doing titan experimentation with someone equally as curious, and having a friend constantly there for her whenever she should need one.

Hanji turned her vision over to your hand, hating the way part of it was almost severed off from your corpse entirely and soon finding herself bringing her own healthy hand over to it to fix it -at least make it look more presentable before she brought you over to the base the Survey Corps had set up not too far away. But as she crept her hand closer, she found herself hesitating. Why, she wasn't exactly sure -although she guessed that somewhere deep within her subconscious she was afraid of hurting you, so -even though it was irrational- she couldn't bring herself to move you any more than she already had. At first at least. After a few seconds of internal argument and encouragement to do so, she attentively put her fingers beneath the part of your hand that was bent abnormally and still bleeding profusely -and never had she been so sure that she would have thrown up if she hadn't been already used to such conditions.

Regardless, that wasn't the most sickening thing that happened while attempting to move your appendage -because as soon as she started to relocate your almost dismembered pinkie and ring finger to a more natural position, you let out the smallest of winces. One that was barely audible, yet still managed to fall upon the section commander's ears like thunder. When she first heard the sound you made she couldn't help but just stare in shock, not completely sure if it was an auditory hallucination on her part or something that had actually happened. It was confirmed to be real though when your once thought to be dead body twitched the smallest bit, your face loosely contorting into one of extreme pain as another low groan escaped past your lips.

"(Y/N)...?" she muttered out in shock.

When she finally came to, she let go of your hand and brought her head to your chest, pressing her ear against your left breast to see if you had a heartbeat -and to her complete and utter relief, you did. It wasn't as strong as one should be, but it was still present.

If it was possible, her eyes widened even more as she rapidly pulled back, not wasting any time in pulling out her handkerchief that she always kept in her pocket -solely because she never bothered to use it- and tying it tightly around your one wrist to try and stop the bleeding, "(Y/N)! You need to stay still, ok?"

With a satisfying sound of fabric entwining with fabric, she carefully picked up your hand the best she could and put it over your stomach, fresh blood now staining your shirt and 3DMG belts as she got into a better position to pick you up, "ᴺᵍʰʰʰ..." The panicking woman tensed momentarily before she shook her head and continued, holding her -bladeless, as she had taken them off to make sure she didn't hurt you- handles in her hands as she attempted to hold you with her arms, "I'm sorry, you'll be ok... I promise I won't let anything happen to you."

For a second she contemplated whether or not she should actually use her gear or instead ride Bramble over to the medical station in the base; she realized that the safer option would probably be with the horse, the animal could carry them through the forest definitely with ease. The only problem would be that it would be more painful for you with all of the bumps, and on top of that, it would take longer for her to get help because with 3DMG she could just fly over areas that would bring trouble to her horse. But with gear, there was more of a chance of you falling and getting hurt -not to mention that she could only run so fast for the thirty or so metre stretch between the base and the Giant Tree Forest, undeniably slower than what Bramble could do.

Hanji knew that she couldn't contemplate the options for too long though, and soon took off with her gear regardless -even once she did start to move the ride didn't get any smoother, instead almost toppling over a few times as she struggled to manoeuvre the mechanisms properly with the added weight. Pressing down tight onto the triggers of her handles, she strained herself to keep her hold onto you, zooming past trees and other shrubbery until she could see the trees thinning out in the direction where she knew the base was set up. She barely remembered to lower herself onto the ground for a smoother landing as she continued on, and right before the heels of her boots touched to the soil she made sure to give one last push of her gear's gas for an added boost.

Then she just had to make it to the temporary med bay. Her legs burned as she kept herself going -once or twice almost stumbling and falling over as her legs went too fast for her to keep up- although the task was made easier than it normally would have been due to the high amounts of adrenaline and anxiety rushing through her veins in that very moment, "HEY!" she cried out, speeding up more and wishing she could wave her arms in an attempt to garner more attention. A few soldiers closer to her turned their head in her direction, and upon seeing their section commander carrying what looked like a dead soldier and screaming, they partially froze in confusion and worry for either her mental state or the situation at hand, "I need help!"

The girl neared them not much longer after they noticed her, and soon enough passed them at top speed -seeing as they weren't making a single move, uncertain as to what they should do in the first place -even with her plea for help. She kept running until she reached one of the tents set up that she knew was for medical purposes -it's outer, baby blue colour giving it away- and barged right in on nurses and medics starting to pack up some of the extra supplies that were seemingly not needed, "Help her! She's bleeding out!"

The people she walked -or rather, ran- in on had many different reactions -some gasped at her abrupt entry, others froze on the spot, and others turned around to her and stared at her face. The one thing that they all did however, to her great annoyance and concern, was nothing, " **HELP HER,** ** _NOW_** **GODDAMMIT!** "

It was almost as if her following words had broken them out of some sort of trance because it was almost instantly after the words flowed out that two of them rushed to set up a cot-like bed while another came to take you out of her arms -and while she found herself hesitant to do so at first, she knew that it was for the best that you were given over to them for proper care. The brunette could only bring herself to watch and stare as they placed you on the cot, checking you over for any other injuries and talking amongst themselves that you had already lost a significant amount of blood and that you were too cold and pale -about how the cut itself wasn't that lethal, but the amount of time it had been left unattended was.

She hadn't been able to onlook for long as one of the nurses walked over to the girl and addressed her, "Section commander," the male started, his tone gentle and clearly attempting to be comforting, "It's best that you leave the room so we can try to help her to the best of our abilities."

She had to blink her eyes, zoning back into reality as she was still trying to process everything that had been the past fifteen minutes of her life, before narrowing her eyes onto the medic before her, "You _better_ help her." She hadn't meant for it to sound so threatening, but she found herself unwilling to apologize or take back the words when she realized that they would only help you in the long run -if her status as section commander didn't already convince them to do their best in helping you.

"Y-Yes, miss." he replied, urging her out of the tent before rushing off back in to help with whatever they were doing in there. It was only then she realized how heavily she was breathing, how exhausted she had become from the simple act of using her gear and running -something that was unusual for the female, although she supposed that it could partly be due to all of the different emotions she was feeling at the moment as well. Her head felt dizzy and confused, and she could only close her eyes as she took in a deep breath, containing the oxygen only to her lungs for a few seconds before she sighed, letting it all out. Part of her wanted to cry in relief, the other half wanted to march back in there and make sure that you, her _girlfriend_ , were ok and going to be perfectly fine. But through it all, in her mind swam a feeling of guilt -one that went unchecked by anyone else as she couldn't help but deeply frown at the floor.

"Section commander...?"

The voice was sudden and unexpected, yet she didn't show any signs of being startled as she turned her hues up to the person who had spoken up, "Yes Moblit?"

"I came here to tell you that your squad is ready and good to go." In his eyes hid a small sympathy, and while she was sure he didn't know about what had happened to you -he had no way to know, so he mustn't- she was sure that he could tell by her face that she was feeling down. "Ah, thank you Moblit."

The woman said nothing more, and neither did he. They just stared at each other, Moblit trying to figure out what was wrong and the brunette trying to decide if she should tell him about you. The more time that passed since she brought you into the medic's care, the more she could only think about what had happened -you were practically missing part of your _hand_. How were you supposed to operate 3DMG without two full hands? Were you going to be able to test with her anymore? Hell, would you be able to properly take care of yourself once you were all healed up - _if_ they were able to help you? She shook her head, denying the possibility that you could be gone -after all, she hadn't believed it before. So why should she start now?

"Are you ok...?" It was meek, and most definitely not spoken at a normal volume for the caramel headed male, but still heard by the soldier nonetheless. "I'm fine," she started, hating the way the false words burned in her mouth, but hating the following ones even more for their implied honesty, "But I need to tell you something regarding (Y/N)..."

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Hanji wasn't sure how long it had been since they left base and returned back within the Walls. What she did know was that it was way too long for her comfort. So that was why, as soon as they entered into the safety of the Walls, she got off of her horse, yelling to two members of her squad to take care of Bramble and Moblit's mare, "Lauda, Abel, take care of our horses," she spoke, not specifying who 'our' was until the later part of her sentence, "Moblit, come with me."

"Yes miss." "Of course, section commander." If she hadn't been so worried about you, perhaps she would've noticed the dejected tone they held when the compliance flowed past their lips -the recent expedition easily getting to them, as it did to most Survey Corps soldiers. Moblit followed without a question or word, jumping off of his horse just like she had mere seconds before and soon after heading in the same direction that she had, only a metre or so behind her.

The mahogany haired girl wasn't completely sure where you were to be honest, but she did know that you were somewhere with the medics -and fortunately for her, she did know where they would be. She knew that they always diverged from the main path that everyone else followed so they could get back to a place where they could more properly take care of the injured, and it seemed that today was no exception seeing as to the side, a few carriages were taking the smaller paths that offshooted from the main, larger one.

To her slight surprise, it didn't take her that long to find you. But to her even bigger surprise -in the wagon that you laid in, slight rattles from the wooden wheels on the stone brick shaking you smally as it rode on- she found Corporal Levi sitting on one of the elevated sides of the cart, his eyes bored and seemingly without a care as he observed the planks that made up the carriage's flat floor. The woman froze for a second, anger sweeping over her as she became livid -he had the nerve to incorrectly deem you dead and then just sit about afterwards once you were found to still be alive as if it were a chore to be around you? Her fists tightened into balls, and it was only when she began to stomp her way over that a hand was placed upon her shoulder, "Section Commander Hanji, please..."

At first she wanted to snap at him, yell at him and say that Levi was being so very disrespectful that he deserved something akin to a slap in the very least. But when she turned around and connected her sepia spheres to Moblit's lighter ones -seeing the sadness they held- she realised that she shouldn't do anything like that. She _couldn't_ do anything like that. Not only that, but it wasn't fair -now that she was looking at the scene with eyes that were more unbiased, she could tell that he had at least cared enough to stick by you when you were unwell -and that her previous anger was not directed at him really, but rather the whole situation. Letting out a sigh, she nodded her head with more slumped shoulders, "Thank you, Moblit." The man only let out a hum, nodding his head before the female turned back to the task at hand; getting to you.

With softer steps than before, she made her way up to the cart that was now slowing down -seeing as they had now reached their destination and were transporting the injured into the med bay- and it took one look at you for her world to fall once more. You looked so weak, so very vulnerable there all wrapped up in makeshift bandages and the like, all stained an almost brown colour -one she recognised originating from blood. Levi spared her a glance but nothing more, yet in that one second they communicated wordlessly with each other, ' _She's still alive._ '

"Moblit?"

"Yes, section commander?"

"Go get my paperwork in my room, it's in my desk drawer, and go to the med bay. Please bring it to the led bay and wait in the waiting room. I'll meet you there and take it to (Y/N)'s room."

"Of course."

The assistant walked off to do as he was told, leaving only the corporal and section commander at your wagon. Hanji didn't pay him any mind in the moment however, and instead chose to brush some of your hair that had blown in front of your face back -not being able to help the way she then leaned over and put her head to your chest once more in a reassurance that you were still alive.

 _Ba-dum... ba-dum... ba-dum_...

At the affirmation that you were still here, she -for what seemed like the thousandth time today- let her lungs deflate in a sigh, closing her eyes for a mere moment before opening them again, this time dragging her focus down to your bandaged hand.

Or rather, part of your hand.

She felt a rush of adrenaline paint over her body when she looked over the cloth, and by the way it was a lot smaller and misshapen compared to how your hand had been a day ago, she could only assume that they had been unable to reattach your ring and pinkie fingers and were forced to amputate. And while she was worried about your reaction for whenever you woke up -and even for how well you would be able to adapt to practically losing half of your hand- she was glad that you were still alive.

"Excuse me, miss, sir. We need to get through to her," a nurse said, bowing his head slightly in a silent apology as a few other medics came over with a handheld stretcher. Hanji didn't have anything to say -already knowing that she would be allowed into whatever room you were going to be brought into given her position- so she stepped aside, in a placement that gave her a good view of the people who were getting ready to move you onto the stretcher. Levi also remained quiet, turning himself so he could jump off of the side of the cart and then doing so, although Hanji took a mental note at the odd way he landed, as if he was trying his best not to put any pressure on his left foot. He made his way to stand right beside the brown-headed soldier, his steely hues observing the scene playing out in front of him like the woman at his side.

One of them hopped up onto the wagon to facilitate moving you on the stretcher, placing the assembled dark green fabric and two metal rods at your side before another got up and on your other side as well. They then proceeded to pick you up the smallest bit to move you onto the cloth, and once you were centred enough to their satisfaction, one of them hopped down once again and picked up one end, the other medic holding up the stretcher just enough so you were off of the ground before handing off their end to another person on standby -the two that were now holding you heading off to the med bay to bring you to your room.

Hanji's orbs followed them as they left, briefly turning to the cart where you once laid and seeing some staff clearing the wagon of important things that they could possibly need before she turned on her heel and stepped after you, determined to talk to them and learn of your state properly. When she went to leave however, a hand grabbed onto her left arm, halting her in her tracks.

"You love her, don't you?" came Levi's voice, sudden and slightly heightened in surprise from the usual deepness it typically held.

If she wasn't so emotionally and physically drained from the expedition that had just happened, maybe she would have blushed and denied the fact right then and there out of embarrassment. Maybe she would have stuttered out her response like a little schoolgirl, softly looking off to the side as she tried to convince him that she did not, and that things weren't that serious between the both of you given that it was only _yesterday_ that you had started your relationship together -she wouldn't have wanted you to overhear and think of her too clingy after all.

But since she was so tired and just wanted the day to end, because her muscles ached with use every time she moved, and because she just wanted to go over to you and check up on you, she answered his question quickly and curtly as she pulled her arm out of his grasp, walking off as she spoke her reply with confidence certainty.

"She's my girlfriend, Levi..."

Turning her head back the smallest bit, she bore her mocha hues into his stormy grey ones, " _Of course I do._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated a little before 20 January, 2021!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed!!!! ^^


	37. 37║Anger

**XXXXXXXX, XXXX XX, XXX at XX:XX**

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At first everything was blurry, and your eyes wouldn’t focus on anything through the small window you managed to create for yourself -your eyelids feeling as heavy as sandbags as you forced them open in a struggle. Your entire vision was saturated in a warm orange, and ever so faintly to your left side could you feel a gentle breeze that tickled some parts of your exposed skin in a cool, gentle kiss of contact. You couldn't help the smile that played at your lips, everything just felt right and at ease -or perhaps peaceful would better suit the atmosphere surrounding you.

‘ _Serene,_ ’ you decided, ‘ _That’s what this is. A complete, true feeling of serenity._ ’

Your entire body felt energized, yet worn down with the fatigue of regeneration -and it was only when you tried to shift yourself around a bit that you realized just how _tired_ you actually were in that moment.

Yet despite that -as soon as your vision cleared and you realised where you were and why- you jolted up in what you could only assume was some sort of hospital bed. Images flashed through your head, the last moments of the fifty-seventh expedition sticking to the forefront of your mind while you squeezed your eyes shut as if it would make the vivid pictures fade away -and it didn't take you long to figure out that that only made it worse. So then you tore your eyes open, desperately searching the room for some clue as to where they were with wide, frenzied eyes. Your stomach sank in the realisation that Gunther _was_ truly gone, that Petra and Oluo were no longer here to bicker playfully -because you weren't naïve, you had seen the injuries they had received and already knew very well that there was no way that they could've been saved, no matter how much you vehemently wished for it to not be so.

All you had left out of the four of them was Eld.

It was only when a blob at your beside jostled awake that you noticed that you weren't alone in the room, and as soon as they took notice that you were conscious their eyes widened, "(Y/N)!" Hanji yelled in concern, grabbing onto your one forearm gently in an attempt to calm you, "What's wrong, are you in pain?!"

She sat at your bedside on a chair, partially hanging about half of her body onto the cushiony mattress until you had jostled about. Her hair looked even more dishevelled than usual, the hair framing her cinnamon hues that were underlined by thick, dark streaks of a black sleep deprivation through her glasses' lens -and not too far off from her side was a book that you knew was one that the two of you had read together at one point. But you couldn't bring yourself to dwell on that for too long when there were more pressing matters playing at your mind, "Where is he? Where's Eld?” you quickly asked, “What about Eren, did that _fucking bitch_ take him?!" At the end your voice broke off in a cough, the sudden strain too much for your vocal chords after not having spoken in who knows how long, ' _Eld's the last one left, where is he? Does he still have to go through his duties? Did Levi force him to do training today? Where the fuck is he?!_ '

The woman's bagged eyes became more downcast, a frown tugging at her lips momentarily before they turned into more of a flatline, "Eren was retrieved by Levi and is safe within the Walls, but (Y/N)..."

You felt your mouth dry, and tried to manoeuvre yourself closer for her to only put a hand to your shoulders for you to lay back down and get rest, "Hanji, _please_." you begged, pleading hues boring into her own, "I _need_ to know."

"Honey, he's…"

When she trailed off you remained silent, choosing to allow her to fill the void -and hopefully with the answer that you wanted as well, although it wasn't looking too brightly in your favour so far.

"He’s… Eld's gone, (Y/N). He didn't make it…"

You felt yourself stiffen, the very last person you had hopes of still being alive now gone as you could feel rage and anger pour into your veins. But even more significant then those emotions were the feelings of regret and sorrow as you felt tears prick at the corners of your (E/C) eyes -he had been one of your best friends for years, always there for you when you needed him, and you weren't there to at least see where his last moments were? This cruel, sick and twisted world couldn't grant you that much?

It was tearing you apart.

Sinking back into the bedding, you let your features become blank as it hit you -your friends, the ones you considered _family_ , were now gone. The droplets of water in your eyes built up too much to the point where they were overcrowded, the liquid now streaming down your cheeks as you bit down on your lip in an attempt to keep your sobs in. Bringing your hands to your face, you were about to hide yourself away from Hanji in your palms when you halted halfway through, a gasp escaping your airway involuntarily with your eyes widening in terror.

Your dominant hand was completely fine, albeit covered in a few small scabs and the like from mostly healed cuts. Your other hand however, was most definitely not. Even through the pristine bandages that covered the appendage, you could tell by the way it was basically cut it half through your palm that you were missing a finger or two in the least -and the feeling of a partial fear and hopelessness crept in your stomach at the realisation that you would practically be rendered useless in the Survey Corps if you couldn't use both your hands, ' _First my family, then my hand, and now most likely my passion…_ '

Suffice to say, you felt rather empty inside - as if everything you had worked for in life had been taken away from you in a matter of seconds. All you had left was Hanji at this point, and you weren't sure if she wanted to stay with someone who isn't able to properly function daily. As soon as Hanji saw that you noticed, she immediately enraptured you in her arms, holding you tightly to herself in an attempted form of reassurance that everything would be ok. You let out choked sobs as you didn't hesitate to latch onto her, seeking comfort from the brunette as she calmingly played with your hair, "ˢʰʰ, ˢʰʰ…" she whispered into your ear as you tugged onto her shirt as if it were a lifeline, "ᴵᵗ'ˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᵒᵏ, ᴵ ᵖʳᵒᵐⁱˢᵉ ʸᵒᵘ…"

Did you believe her words at that very moment? You weren't sure to be honest, because you weren't completely positive what part she was talking about -the deaths, the hand, or _everything_ if you were to be brutally genuine.

Everything except Hanji.

Holding her close, you breathed in the familiar scent she always carried about her that instantly started to calm you down, and you started unknowingly softening your cries as she rubbed your back soothingly -effectively quieting you with ease. Then the woman pulled back ever so slightly and sent you a weak smile -one that told you she was trying to keep face for you- as she pushed some of your hair back, her warm touch welcomed as you leaned into it. So badly did you want to kiss her, connect your lips to hers and just forget about this cursed world you had been born in where you had to fear death and loss _every single day_.

She looked at your lips, her honeyed eyes swirling with sadness, grief, and love as they flickered to your (E/C) ones for consent, then leaning in the smallest bit and getting ever so closer to you to the point where you could feel her breath soft fan over your skin -until she abruptly pulled away and turned her head to the side, her eyebrows knit together as a deep frown casted itself upon her lèvres. You yourself frowned as you realised what had happened and remembered the once-forgotten situation you were in -the momentary relief away from this terrible world not enough for you. Parting your lips slightly, you were about to ask her about it when a door suddenly opened.

"A-Ah, is this a bad time…?"

It was a red-headed woman at the door -her voice a little higher pitched than what you guessed it normally would have sounded like given her supposed embarrassment from walking in on the two of you with your upset expressions- who looked almost identical to Petra. Her hair was a bit longer and lighter, and this nurse was taller than your friend had been, but the resemblance was almost so uncanny to the point where you tried to avoid looking at her. Hanji was the one to speak up first, her voice depressed and quiet with some sort of emotion you couldn't quite place, "No, you're ok."

"Good," came the girl's reply, and you guessed that a small, sympathetic smile could be found on her face based on the way she spoke, "Then I'd like to check up on (Y/N)'s hand, please."

You didn't bother to verbally give her your permission to do so, instead opting to move your bandaged hand in a better position to unwrap the cloth if she so wished. As soon as you did this, she came over with silent steps to your bedside with a gentle, "Thank you." before she carefully took your wrist into her hand to keep it still, using her free hand to grab one end of what you assumed was a long bandage, and soon after going around your wounded hand in almost still cycles -being ever so cautious as to not hurt you. When she finally finished and went to discard the bandage in a nearby trash can, you were able to get a good view of your damaged hand. It was clear that a good point of time had passed since the incident, apparent by the progress your body had made with regeneration -but it hadn't been that long either, because a good portion of your hand was just scabs, bruises and oddly placed stitches, the uneven patchwork something you didn't contribute to an unskilled medic but rather a cause from the odd angle the person had to work with -and when your palm was turned upwards, the woven thread went from the very inner side of your one wrist to the inner side of your middle finger in an almost straight line. Everything towards where your pinkie and ring finger used to be was completely detached and gone from your hand altogether and you found yourself tempted to poke where the flesh had once been in a disbelief that it was actually and truly gone. Small flakes of a crusty, dried blood were present between the stitches despite the slight dampness the wound held -given that it had just been covered up- and slightly bending your two remaining fingers told you that while it hurt and was uncomfortable -and quite honestly painful- to move them, it didn't seem to cause any noticeable bleeding or break the handiwork on your hand.

"No!" The nurse cried out, the shout causing you to look at her in alarm as she grabbed onto your arm, looking at you in a plea with her reddish-brown hues, "Please don't curl your hand up like that, it'll take even longer for you to heal up if you break anything."

' _’No!’_ ’ you thought to yourself, ' _She cried ‘No!’_ ' At first you watched the girl as she started inspecting your wound, but you found yourself forcing your eyes away as you started to tune everything out subconsciously, ' _Is that what Petra screamed in her final moments? For that goddamned titan to stop? How much pain did she go through? Was it instantaneous, or did she have to linger around a little as she slowly died? Did she die knowing that Oluo was dead, or was it the other way around? Did_ he _have a painful death? No, no, he couldn't have. The way he landed would've made it instant, but the same can't be said for sure about Gunther… Did he suffocate or lose too much blood first? Or maybe it was quick… And I… And I don't even have a clue how Eld died…_ '

"What do you think about that, (Y/N)?"

Startled, you blink your eyes once or twice before looking at the nurse, who had spoken up, quizzically.

"You have a choice, since your wound has been healing up so nicely -would you like to heal up the rest of the way here, or would you like to go with Section Commander Hanji in her room to get better with minimal check-ups here, since she so kindly offered?"

It didn't take you long to come to a decision -however, you chose not to use your voice to tell her because, if you were going to be honest, you didn't trust it not to crack under the recent loss you have experienced. So instead of words, you merely nodded your head in Hanji's direction, trying not to look at the brunette in her eyes given her reaction from earlier.

The nurse frowned smally at your action -seeing as you didn’t use words- but did not press upon the subject, “Then please, if you will, let me inform the both of you on how to care for your hand properly.”

\----------------------------------------------------------

“Is there any particular place you want any of this, (Y/N)?” Hanji’s voice was uncharacteristically dull, void of its typical bubbliness as she held the clothes you had asked her to get with you from your room in her hands -while the both of you were in there you made sure to grab an extra uniform and put it on in the bathroom, seeing as it felt almost awkward without it on. Shaking your head no, the girl let out a tiny sigh before speaking again, “Ok, I… I’ll put it in my room for now, ok?” The grin she sent you was so very clearly fake, you could see right through it that its sincerity was nonexistent, yet you could tell that she was making an attempt to convince you of its validity -which, if you were to be honest, concerned you a great deal. This time you gave a small nod to the girl to show you had no opposition to what she had said, ‘ _Although, I don’t wanna take her bed from her… I’ll have to convince her to have it tonight._ ’

About half an hour passed since you both left the med bay, and currently the two of you were in the section commander’s room. You were sitting on her mint green sofa that was placed beside the wall of the room right when you walked in, and all you could really bring yourself to do ever since you entered was sit down, stare at your bad hand, and contemplate over your recently dead friends. ‘ _Would they have lived if I didn’t go with Levi to check on the traps?_ ’ That was the most recent thought rolling about through your mind, and it disturbed you greatly that you found yourself without a certain answer, ‘ _They… They might’ve. Maybe not all of them, but I’m sure I could’ve managed to save at least one of them. I could’ve… I could’ve saved someone from dying at the hands of that stupid fucking_ bitch _._ ’ Your hands balled into tight fists of an uncharacteristic anger for a brief second before a wave of pain rushed through your non-dominant one, you biting your tongue to keep in a wince and looking over the bandage to see if any blood was starting to seep through -and to your partial relief, there was none.

“(Y/N)?” came Hanji’s gentle voice, her eyes partly lidded as they stared at the ground sombrely, “I need to talk to you about something.”

Without a word, you looked up at her -feeling nerves build up in your stomach as you wondered what she would want to talk about, ‘ _Is she… Is she going to break up with me…?_ ’ You could feel tears want to bubble up in your eyes just at the thought -that after finally getting what you wanted it would be ripped out of your grasp- yet you couldn’t bring yourself to blame her if she did, ‘ _I’m a liability now, all because I wasn’t strong enough and now I’ll never be. I wasn’t strong enough when that blonde motherfucker killed Sawney and Bean, and I still wasn’t strong enough when she killed some of the people I care about the most. The Walls damn you, I_ will _make you suffer..._ ’ Your eyes darkened as your body tensed up, teeth gritting together ad eyes staring at the wall across from you in anger until a soft hand was put on your arm, snapping you out of your thoughts once more and turning your rage quell back into anxiety -(E/C) spheres immediately softening as you poured them into Hanji’s pair, said girl now sitting on your side with your good hand in her grasp. She intertwined your digits with hers as she rubbed the back of your hand with her thumb softly, and you were only reminded of the job she held when you could feel small calluses touching to your skin, “Are you ok?”

You nodded your head yes, still not sure if you’d break out crying if you used your voice.

Taking a second for herself, she took an inhale before replying, “That’s good, I’m glad but… I need to tell you about what’s uh, what’s happening tomorrow.” Not being able to help it, your brows creased in confusion and your head tilted slightly in confusion, not sure what was happening in a day, “In about nineteen hours from now, at about midday tomorrow, Erwin has set up a plan to trap the Female Titan -who has been discovered to be Annie Leonhardt.” Your eyes bulged, opening widely as you took in the information, “Lemme help!” you squeaked out before you truly knew what you were doing or saying, “Please, I can’t just do nothing tomorrow when the people I saw as family were killed by _her_.”

Pleadingly, you turned your body towards her, and it was clear that she was shocked by the sudden usage of your voice by the way her eyes momentarily enlarged, before deflating back down, “I’m sorry (Y/N), but… I don’t think Erwin would approve of that.” Your expression fell once more as you realised that it wasn’t going to be easy to convince him to let you help -if it was even possible- but you were _determined_. You didn’t care if you had to sneak out there just to make sure that you got your slice of revenge for your fallen squad members, you were going to be there, ‘ _Annie won’t last another twenty-four hours, not that I know who she really is now._ ’

When you hadn’t spoken up for a while, Hanji continued on elaborating the plan for tomorrow, and you could only guess that she did so because she thought you had given up and that you would at least like to know about the rest of it -in the latter case she was correct, “We have three separate plans in place, the first one is to lead Annie into the Underground so then if she does shift, she can’t go anywhere. If she tries to transform before she is fully in the Underground, there will be people on standby to try and stop her from transforming. Plan B is to have Eren shift and fight her if they fail, and Plan C is to have my squad and I launch those spear nets we made a while back.”

As she references the contraption you had previously designed, your mind flashed back to the process of building and testing the prototype that was ultimately rejected. Quietly, you opened your mouth to speak, “Where is Erwin?”

“(Y/N), why…?” her tone was warning and knowing, inadvertently telling you that she was against the idea of you speaking to Commander Erwin Smith in the odd event that he were to permit your inclusion in the operation.

“Just let me talk to him, _please_ Hanji.”

She looked over at you, her pools of a dark brown intense until she broke under your insistent gaze, facing becoming ever so slightly as she looked at her lap. Anyone who saw her in that moment could very easily tell that she was hesitant, after all, it would be dangerous for you to join them in even part of the mission given that your 3DMG skills could be compromised with half of your one hand missing -and if you had been thinking clearly and not revenge-oriented, perhaps you would have agreed and not have even bothered going through the trouble of asking if you could tag along. However, since this wasn’t the case, you returned the same look she gave to you, not yielding until she let out a small puff of air, “I think he’s in the Mess Hall right now.”

“Could we please…?” you trailed off without missing a beat, already knowing that your wish would be clearly communicated to the woman sitting next to you, “As long as you feel you’re well enough to, I suppose.” Sending her one of the best smiles you could muster at the moment, you nodded your head yes to convince her that you were able to make it to the Mess Hall, soon after standing up as well and following behind her to the door once she got up as if to prove your point.

With her right hand on the doorknob, she paused for a second and looked you over -almost as if she was assessing in her head if you really were ready to go out there, even if you had just walked around not too long ago to both her room and your room without many problems -aside from a few stumbles when you first got out of the hospital bed, but that was just because you hadn’t used your legs in a while. Once she finally came to the conclusion that you were in fact good enough to go, she turned the metallic knob and opened the door, speaking one last phrase before the both of you ventured out into the hallway to get to the Mess Hall, “If you need to come back before dinner is over, please let me know.”

\---------------------------------------------------------- **  
**

It didn’t take long for the two of you to reach the Mess Hall -and once you did pass through the doors like you had multiple times before, a wave of nostalgia hit you, ‘ _How long has it been since I’ve properly eaten in here? I think the last time might’ve been before Hanji and I left to do free-range experimentation of Chicacchironi and Albert, when I ate with the Spec-…_ ’

You did not dare to finish your thought, already feeling yourself become bitter with the reminder that the people you had once sat in here with were now gone, ‘ _I have so many things to say to them… I’ll have to make a stop by their graves and promise them that I won’t let that_ bitch _get off scot-free._ ’

Shaking your head the smallest bit, you realised that Hanji had led you to the table where Erwin, Miche and Levi were sitting at -and you felt a small adrenaline rush through you when you noticed that the other section commander wasn’t there, Dita Ness gone from the group uncharacteristically, seeing as he always made a point to sit with them, ‘ _He didn’t make it either… did he?_ ’ Carefully and sombrely, you sat down without properly thinking and Hanji gently put a hand to your shoulder -you not daring to ask about the missing male seeing as it might have further lowered the mood at the wooden table, “I’ll go get a tray for you, ok?”

Nodding your head, you didn’t give any opposition to what she had said, feeling the atmosphere around you to be a tad bit awkward without the brunette by your side to keep you company. However, you knew you didn’t have much time to waste if you wanted to ask Erwin about joining in the plan tomorrow without Hanji around, ‘ _It’s not like I don’t want her here, it’s just… I don’t want her to be upset with me and possibly change Erwin’s mind should it be in my favour. I plan on telling her anyways if he does say yes, because at that point there won’t really be anything that she could do about it._ ’

Seeing that time was ticking, you looked at the blonde-headed male with one last thought, ‘ _I need to do this discreetly as well, I can’t just openly ask him if I can help with his plan to capture the Female Titan tomorrow in case if there’s anyone in here. I doubt it, but you never know who’s listening._ ’

“Commander Erwin?” you asked as overly-politely as you could to make sure the idea that there was a hidden meaning to what you were going to say got through to him, locking your (E/C) eyes onto his deep blue ones as you waited for his reply, “Yes, (Y/N)?”

“With the recent loss of part of my hand,” you started, moving your hand about a little in front of you so that the man you addressed could see that a good portion of your appendage was missing, “I’ll have a lot of free time, more than what I’ll probably know what to do with, y’know? You don’t have anything going on tomorrow that you’d need _help_ with, right?”

His eyes widened partially as you finished what you were saying, seemingly unaware that you knew of what was happening before he sent you a closed eye smile, one that you knew was soaking in the same falsities that your previous politeness had been in, “Thank you, (Y/N), but I’m afraid there’s nothing going on tomorrow that you can help with, unfortunately. Just paperwork, as always.” His words weren’t mocking, you could tell that much -and if you listened closely enough, you would dare say there was a small bit of remorse in his voice after he had seen the state of your bad hand that hadn’t been there the first time he opened his mouth. If you hadn’t been in a public space, you would have begged him right then and there for him to allow you to join -but since you couldn’t risk ruining the plan, you instead went him a strained curve of your lips and asked him once more, “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do? _Nothing_ at all?”

“I’m sorry, but I’m sure (Y/N).”

Almost in defeat, you let out a sigh as your shoulders slumped, “A-Ah, ok then. Please let me know if anything changes.”

The conversation ended with near-perfect timing, seeing as soon as you finished Hanji came over with two trays balanced in her hands -one of which she carefully placed before you, the other at your left side where she would be sitting, as she gently sat herself down on the table’s bench that served as a seat for multiple people at once. Looking between the two trays she had returned with, your couldn’t help but note that yours had more food on it -and to be completely honest, you weren’t sure if she had done so intentionally or not, ‘ _And if it was intentional, is she worried I’ll starve myself, or is it just because I haven’t actually eaten real food since the day before the expe-?_ ’

Your eyes widened suddenly as pictures of the past popped up in your memory, a sickening feeling creeping its way up into your stomach as you blankly stared at the tray before you, a faint look of horror casted upon your face. The first one was Gunther, his poor state rocking next to the tree he died on as a breeze softly moved his clothes and cape about. Then came Oluo, the sandy-haired male staring at nothing in particular as he slept eternally on the floor with dusty and dirt ridden clothes, Petra not too far off as she observed the clouds above her with unseeing hues of a red and brown, her neck angled awkwardly in a way that made your own partly ache. And lastly was Eld, although you were never able to picture him dead -in your mind, he was the same man you had joked around with for the past five years since you met him, never would you be able to actually see him as gone unless he were to be directly in front of you.

“Erwin,” came Miche’s voice, quiet and deep as he garnered not only the male’s attention, but yours as well, “I need to discuss some things in private. What time should I stop by your room?”

“Any time is good, Miche.”

“Oh! Uh, Erwin.” interjected Hanji, “I need to speak to you as well.” her voice sounded at your side, the woman’s abrupt loudness at first startling you a slight bit as you directed your dullened eyes over in her general direction, “Same goes for you, Hanji. I’ll still be in my office.”

As the room went silent once more -there was faint chatter, but as it was after any expedition, speech across the entirety of the Mess Hall was scarce- you couldn’t help but wonder what it was that the section commander -or rather, _section commanders_ if you were to be honest- wished to speak about with the commander, but you couldn’t bring yourself to voice any of your curiosity as you didn’t see a real point to it, ‘ _It’s probably about the plan that they’re carrying out tomorrow, and if Erwin won’t allow me to join in on it, the chances that he’ll allow for me to listen in on what they’re talking about is rather low I think._ ’

Forcing yourself to keep in a frustrated huff -that would have only been dampened by your sadness- you glanced down at the food Hanji had brought over for you once more, picking up a spoon that was on the side of the tray and coming to the conclusion that, even if you didn’t feel that hungry at the moment, you should at least eat something as to not concern anyone present -namely, your practically perfect girlfriend, Hanji. You didn’t care to look at what you were really sinking your spoon into, grabbing a part of the mysterious pile of mush that was on your tray with empty pools of (E/C) before parting your lips and eating the food, ‘ _Ah, I should’ve known. It’s the oh-so infamous mashed pota-_ ’

You froze in place for a second, a wave of part of a cold fear and part of an irrational adrenaline sweeping across your figure.

Bitterly, you swallowed what you had in your mouth, soon after staring at the metallic spoon that was covered in white streaks -the mashed potatoes that you didn’t get off of the utensil still remaining, ‘ _Gunther once got upset with me over mashed potatoes because he had to clean my tray… Eld always told him to drop it and grow up whenever he brought it up..._ ’ Your hand went loose as you unknowingly dropped the silverware that had once been held in your good hand, face blanching as you remembered seemingly for the millionth time that day that they were gone, ‘ _I… I can’t get away from them… They won’t leave me alone. It doesn’t matter what I do, they’re always there in my mind._ ’

“Oi, (L/N). What’s wrong with you, why are you being so quiet?”

As soon as you recognised who had spoken the words, you automatically gritted your teeth, trying your best not to snap at the man who was practically rude to them in your old squad’s final moments.

Corporal Levi Ackerman of the Survey Corps.

“Oh, I don’t know, Ackerman.” you let out almost aloofly, your words following the end of your sentence a bit harsher than you would have spoken had you been in a more clear and peaceful state of mind, “The entire squad I worked with for the past five years is now _dead_ , all because I failed to stop this _damned Female Titan_. So what _is_ wrong, Levi? Hm?” you asked, pinning him down to his seat with shaded (E/C) eyes, “Tell me, _please_.”

A small ‘tch’ came from his direction, his tone as void of emotion and care as ever as he sent a reply your way, “You need to calm down, they’re no different from any other damn soldier (Y/N). Get ov-”

Abruptly, you stood up at the table -causing the ravenette that was getting on your final nerves to do the same- not noticing the way that your glass of water -and everyone else’s at the table really- shook, the liquid inside almost spilling out at it touched from corner to corner of the cup. You glared into his steel hues openly, not caring who was watching you at the moment, “Don’t you _dare_ tell me to get over them, Levi.”

His eyes bore into yours mercilessly, in what you could only assume was partial observation and partial anger, “Tch, _fine_.” he returned equally as coldly, “Just stop acting like an entitled brat.”

Momentarily, you closed your eyes as you felt a rage whip within you -your body urging to move forwards and lunge at him in your irate state -to do _something_ for the way he had spoken about your friends- but you pushed it back, doing your best to quell your aggravation. When you finally lifted your lids and regained your sight to the world, you went to cross your arms as you shifted your weight -only stopping halfway through when your bad hand brushed against your opposite arm moderately and the sharper surge of pain convinced you to do otherwise with a tiny scowl that you quickly tried to drop, “Fine, I’ll try to calm down,” you let out with a puff of air, your chest deflating slightly, “Could you at least tell me where they’re buried? I want to say my… my final goodbyes.” You were pleased with yourself when you took note of the way there was no crack breaking the words of your thought up -even if you had to take a brief pause- conveying yourself as stronger than you currently felt.

“They’re not in the Walls. We had to dump them out of a return wagon to escape from a titan.”

You stilled as you took in this response, feeling your entire body grow cold as it froze in shock, unexpressed rage and grief, “...ʷʰᵃᵗ…?”

“ _They’re not here_.” came his reply, steel eyes glaring at you, “How vivid must I make this for you?” He left a small silence for you to speak, but you found yourself without words, so he took it upon himself to fill the formed void, “They’re rotting away in a titan’s stomach somewhere in Wall Maria, dead as can be, in multiple, torn apart pieces. Hell, maybe part of their remains were eaten by wildlife, who knows? Not that anyone would be able to tell at this point.”

“ _Levi…_ ” you heard come from your left, Hanji’s typically sweet voice coated thickly in a warning as she gave the male a cautious regard, slightly standing up herself as she took clear offence to what he had said to you. He turned to her with his eyes narrowed, opening his mouth to give some sort of retort, “Han-”

_Smack._

A few gasps went about the room, and you hadn’t even realised what you had done until you felt a stinging upon the palm of your dominant hand -your glare foreboding as you stared him down with all of the hatred you had in this world at the moment, “ _Listen here, Levi_ ,” you forced out through the seething aura your now carried around you, it feeling awfully heavy upon your shoulders as you spoke, “I don’t give a single damn what you fucking think of them, but don’t you _dare_ speak of them that way. They looked up to you -no, they _loved you,_ Levi. They saw you as part of our family, the six of us all together,” you started, lowering your voice slightly with a partial grow emitting from your throat as you finished all you had to say to him, “ _Just like I had._ ”

For a second it was just you staring at him, both of you holding expressions of anger -although yours was much more apparent that his- and had you been in a better state of mind, you might have supposed that maybe, just maybe, if you cared to look deep enough into his current façade, you would see the small cracks of a man that was grieving their deaths just as much as you -just handling it very differently. You didn’t stay much longer than to see his one cheek turn slightly pink from the slap you had given him, the sting most definitely present upon his skin as you took yourself away from the table in furious, threatening stomps -the rest of the room silent save for someone now chasing after you once you passed the Mess Hall doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated a little before 27 January, 2021!


	38. 38║Barganning

**XXXXXXXX, XXXX XX, XXX, 16 hours left**

\---------------------------------------------------------- **  
**

“(Y/N), wait up, please!” Hanji shouted as she jogged behind you, catching up after a moment as she reached your good side and grabbed onto your good arm.

“ _What?_ ” you snapped harshly, now turned around and still fuelled on your previous argument with the corporal -and it was as soon as it fell past your lips that you regretted it, not even able to bring yourself to look at her at first in case she had been hurt, “I’m sorry Hanji... I- I didn’t mean that, I’m just… _upset_ , right now I suppose. Overwhelmed, really -but none of it’s your fault.”

She let out a weak chuckle, one that wasn’t making fun of you in any way, but more conveyed an understanding to how you felt, sympathetic to some perhaps, “It’s ok…” Hanji sighed, “ᴵ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᴵ’ᵛᵉ ᵍᵒᵗᵗᵉⁿ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵇᵉᶠᵒʳᵉ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ˡᵉˢˢᵉʳ ˢⁱᵗᵘᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿˢ.” she admitted more quietly, a brief second or two passing where you just stared at each other -until Hanji quickly looked away and gestured her hand outwards, in the direction you had been going before. Then with a weary smile she never saw, the both of you continued your way to her room -a stillness dancing itself throughout the hallway, the only thing that stopped its graceful movements being the sound of you and Hanji’s boots hitting upon the wooden floor as you made yourselves closer and closer to your destination -her room.

Since you had woken up earlier, it had gotten considerably darker outside -not enough to the point where the moon was hanging among the stars, but where the warmness of a July atmosphere had started to chill into a summer night, something you could feel through the halls and opened windows of the Survey Corps HQ ever so slightly.

It made you nostalgic in a sense, and you found yourself thinking back to simpler times before everything went downhill -the memories would have made you emotional had you not been so used to such sorrows already.

Taking a turn in one direction and then the other, you tried your best not to focus on the dull throbbing you felt in your bad hand, ‘ _I guess I moved it around a bit too much there earlier, huh? Maybe I need to be more careful with it, at least until it heals, anyways. I don’t know how I’m so calm about it, I guess it hasn’t really hit me yet that part of my hand is gone…_ ’ The bandages wrapped around your hand were tighter than you would have liked -’ _Perhaps that’s why my hand is hurting the way it is right now._ ’- but it provided a lack of movement to the appendage, which in the end you supposed was worth it if it meant that you would be able to get out of the bandages sooner.

It didn’t take long for Hanji’s door to come into sight, and with the expenditure of less than a minute, the two of you found yourselves outside the door with the engraving _Hanji Zoë, Section Commander_ on a plaque attached to said soldier’s door. The woman reached her hand forwards and opened it for you, allowing you to enter first and only taking a step or two past the door frame, soon after stopping as she stared dejectedly at the ground, her sentence dying off halfway through into a mere mumble that you couldn’t decipher, “I’m going to head over to Erwin’s office, ᵃⁿᵈ ᵖʳᵒᵇᵃᵇˡʸ ᴸᵉᵛⁱ’ˢ ᵒᶠᶠⁱᶜᵉ ⁿᵒʷ ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳʷᵃʳᵈˢ ᵃˢ ʷᵉˡˡ…”

Deciding to nod your head along and let her do as she pleased without questions -seeing how downcast and sombre she looked- you gave her a small curve of your lips, “Have fun, won’t you Hanji?”

As the words came out and fell upon her ears, the faintest of grins formed on her lips -however, the typically sweet sentiment was soured when you realised that the action held a sadness about it, causing you to inwardly worry about your girlfriend as she made her way back out the door, creaky floorboards squeaking in protest as she turned back at you and softly spoke, “You too (Y/N), feel free to sleep in my bed, ok? If you’re tired yet, you know that you’re welcome to do as you please in my office and such.”

Giving her an appreciative look, you let out a, “Thank you, Hanji.” before she gently closed the door -and you couldn’t bring yourself to move as you listened to her footsteps getting lighter, the distance created between the both of you making the sound more and more difficult to hear until they eventually faded from your hearing range altogether. You looked to the floor, eventually turning around and starting to head further into the room as you gazed your eyes about the office -noting to yourself that next to nothing had changed in the time that you had been unconscious, ‘ _Now that I think about it, what day is it…? I suppose I’ll have to ask Hanji at some point._ ’ you thought to yourself, looking to the piles of paperwork on top of her desk. Briefly, you thought of looking them over to find the most recent date -however, you stopped that notion almost as soon as it entered your mind, ‘ _If I were to look for a date and Hanji were to walk in on me doing so, it wouldn’t look that good for me. And I don’t want to further upset her when she seems distressed already._ ’ Curbing your curiosity to the best of your abilities, you eventually came to the conclusion that it was probably for the best that you just headed off to Hanji’s bed like she suggested, given that you had nothing to do and what you did want to do could potentially get you in trouble.

Shutting the bedroom door behind you, you looked over the room casted in the dimmest rays of the sun’s light, almost having to squint your eyes in the near-twilight illumination as you carefully sat down. The room was cleaner than you thought it would have been -yes, there was a pile of clothes messily strewn about before her one closet, and the amount of paperwork and books piled up in one corner looked as if it would topple over spontaneously, but overall, it was nowhere near as bad as you had perceived it to be. Slowly, you took off your boots, slightly struggling with one seeing as you only had one good hand to work with, and eventually worked your way to your jacket, slipping your arms out of the armholes and putting it on the floor beside your boots. Without thinking, you went to run your arms down your sleeves to straighten them out -only stopping halfway through when the pain in your non-dominant hand reminded you that you were missing not only part of it, but also the members of your old squad.

And now that Hanji was gone and you were all alone, the silence sure did get louder.

You let yourself fall back onto the bed, freezing when you felt something underneath your back. Sitting up just enough to worm your good hand under and retrieve the object, you could feel your breath catch in your throat -in your hand was a small stuffie, the plush of the first titan you experimented on well-known to you as you couldn’t help but just look at it for a second, ‘ _She kept it? After all these years, it’s still here?_ ’

It’s stringed brown hair of a frayed yarn was still held in place, and it’s button amber eyes on its face had a glare on it from the small light seeping in through the windowpane in the wall. It’s paler skin was dirtied a bit, and looked as if it had almost faded in a sense, but that only made sense seeing as you were sure the sun hit it during the day -and after receiving such treatment for supposedly years, you were surprised that it wasn’t in a worse state. Gently, you put the plush to your one side and opted to get yourself under the covers -which hadn’t been properly made, only strewn about the bed in a way so that it barely covered its entirety- straightening out the (F/C) ribbon you had carefully tied around its neck decoratively, and making the observation that it looked as if it had been retied multiple times -something that made you feel warm on the inside that she had taken such good care of him.

That warmness was soon replaced with a numbing cold reality however, the thought of your first experiments with the section commander taking you back to your days as a full member of the Special Operations Squad. Letting out a petite sigh, you found yourself speaking aloud in a whisper before you really knew what you were doing, or why you were doing it, “ʸ’ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᴸᵉˢˡⁱᵉ, ᵃ ˡᵒᵗ ʰᵃˢ ᶜʰᵃⁿᵍᵉᵈ ˢⁱⁿᶜᵉ ᴵ’ᵛᵉ ˡᵃˢᵗ ˢᵉᵉⁿ ʸᵒᵘ.”

You weren’t completely sure if you were talking to the recreation of the titan -or said titan itself who was long gone- however, you did know that just looking at the doll enraptured you in a simpler time, just as the thought of Leslie did. A pause weighed in the air as you moved yourself to be more comfortable, the rustling of sheets sounding out as you rested both of your hands on your stomach, staring at the ceiling from underneath the blankets, “ᵀʰʳᵉᵉ ʸᵉᵃʳˢ ⁱˢ ᵃ ˡᵒⁿᵍ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ’ˢ ᵃ ˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜʰᵃⁿᶜᵉˢ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍˢ ᵗᵒ ᶜʰᵃⁿᵍᵉ. ᴮᵘᵗ ᵈᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵃⁿⁿᵃ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘⁿⁿʸ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ⁱᵗ ᵃˡˡ? ᴺᵒᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵇⁱᵍ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ᶜʰᵃⁿᵍᵉᵈ ᵘᵖ ᵘⁿᵗⁱˡ ᵃ ᵐᵒⁿᵗʰ ᵒʳ ᵗʷᵒ ᵃᵍᵒ.” You let out a humorous laugh, the vocalisation almost bitter as you recalled everything that’s happened recently, “ᴵ ˢʰᵒᵘˡᵈ ˢᵗᵃʳᵗ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵉᵍⁱⁿⁿⁱⁿᵍ, ᵉʰ? ᴵ’ˡˡ ʲᵘˢᵗ ˡⁱˢᵗ ᵗʰᵉᵐ ᵒᵘᵗ, ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ’ˢ ⁿᵒ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵒʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ, ᴸᵉˢˡⁱᵉ. ᴬᵖᵖᵃʳᵉⁿᵗˡʸ, ˢᵒᵐᵉ ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿˢ ᶜᵃⁿ ˢʰⁱᶠᵗ ⁱⁿᵗᵒ ᵗⁱᵗᵃⁿˢ, ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ’ˢ ᵃ ᵗʳᵃⁱᵗᵒʳ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵘʳᵛᵉʸ ᶜᵒʳᵖˢ, ᴵ’ᵛᵉ ˢᵗᵃʳᵗᵉᵈ ᵈᵃᵗⁱⁿᵍ ᴴᵃⁿʲⁱ, ᵃⁿᵈ ᵐʸ ᶠʳⁱᵉⁿᵈˢ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵇᵉᵉⁿ ᵏⁱˡˡᵉᵈ ᵇʸ ᵃ ᵈⁱᶠᶠᵉʳᵉⁿᵗ ˢʰⁱᶠᵗᵉʳ… ᵒⁿᵉ ʷʰᵒ ᴵ ʰᵃᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿᶜᵉ ᵗᵒ ˢᵗᵒᵖ ˡᵒⁿᵍ ᵇᵉᶠᵒʳᵉ ᵗʰᵉʸ ʷᵉʳᵉ ᵏⁱˡˡᵉᵈ…”

Feeling your eyes water up the smallest bit, you bit your tongue as you closed your eyes, your face unwillingly scrunching up as you tried your best not to cry, ‘ _That’s right, Annie Leonhardt was the one who killed Sawney and Bean, their killer’s fighting stance and moves were the exact same to the one that the Female Titan used against Eren’s titan. If I were able to stop her then, then maybe they would still be here… No, they_ would _still be here, and the same goes for all of those soldiers in the right-wing, Section Commander Dita Ness, and the ones who died trying to stop her from reaching Eren. I’ve caused so many people grief, I’m…_ ’ your mind trailed off as you couldn’t bring yourself to finish the thought at first, swallowing your spit in your mouth as you could feel a small, wet trail fall from your left (E/C) eye and roll down the side of your face, ‘ _...a monster. I’m a monster, that’s what I am. If only I had detained her then, then none of this would’ve happened…_ ’

“I w-wonder, Leslie,” you struggled out louder than you had before, hating yourself just a little more in the moment for the crack in your voice, “I wonder how much they hate me right now, all safe and sound while they’re… d-dead because of me. I wonder h-how happy they’d be to see me s-sink down to hell from above in the sky-y.” you found yourself involuntarily stuttering as you spoke, your voice hiccuping occasionally as the saddened words flowed out -the pauses in your speech being the only thing from causing you to break out in a full sob right then and there, and despite you not breaking out into a loud cry, the various hot streams of tears that were falling out past your lashes told you that you were very close to it. “Leslie, I’d do anything to t-take it back. S-So why can’t I? Isn’t there something, _a-anything_ I can do?” Your voice sounded a tad higher from your distress, the tightness you felt build up in your throat almost choking -and in that moment, you truly wouldn’t have minded if it actually had.

Forcing yourself to turn to the stuffie, you looked at it with desperation -searching for answers you knew you wouldn’t get but needed all the same, “ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᵈᵒ ᴵ ᵈᵒ, ᴸ⁻ᴸᵉˢˡⁱᵉ?” You stared at him for a moment, half expecting an answer despite how unlikely it actually was.

And like you would have predicted had you been in a better state of mind, it spoke no words.

You let yourself sink back down on the mattress, flipping yourself onto your stomach as you buried your head into the pillows and breathed in, the smell they carried almost the same exact one Hanji did -and you found yourself calming down as you just focused on soothing yourself, ‘ _I can’t just be like this for the rest of my life, I have to go out there and_ do _something about this._ ’ you told yourself, eyes staring out the window partially. You let your chest rise and fall in an even breath, the next cycle of airflow being a little shaky due to you soon realising what you had to do, ‘ _I have to make sure that she is caught tomorrow. I mean, I know that I thought about it before, but I’m the one who allowed her to cause such damage -so it only makes sense that I’m the one who makes sure she can’t anymore. Even if Erwin said that I can’t help… I_ need _to. I’m going to be a part of their plan whether they like it or not._ ’

You breathed in through your nose before letting out a sigh, not liking the thought of what you were conjuring in your head but disliking the thought of not carrying through with it even more, ‘ _I said I’d do anything for them, didn’t I? Well, if the only thing I can do now is avenge them, then that is… that is what I must do. Even if it’s the last thing I ever do._ ’

Feeling yourself sober up at the notion -that your last full day alive could very well be today- you tried your best to look past that and come up with a plan that would prevent your possible premature death from happening the best you could, ‘ _Without a doubt I’ll have to get 3DM gear, even if it’ll be difficult for me to use. I also have to make sure that Erwin doesn’t find me, neither Miche, nor…_ Levi, _or Hanji. They’ll undoubtedly stop me and lock me in my room or send me back to the med bay to stay under someone’s supervision… So I get my gear, and then what? I guess I’ll have to try and discreetly ask Hanji what district Annie is in, so then I can be there for the plan and I suppose I’ll have to… No, I can’t kill Annie, that would make me no better than her! Besides, she’ll suffer more in captivity,_ ’ you thought realistically yet sadistically to yourself, ‘ _I’ll try to detain her first if she doesn’t go into the Underground and the people who are supposed to detain her fail. If she does go into the Underground, then I have nothing to worry about._ ’ you didn’t finish the thought completely, not wanting to think about all of the unnecessary death that would take place should you and the other soldiers be unable to stop the Female Titan from appearing.

Your eyes became heavy as you went over the half-formed plan in your head, fatigue washing over you despite the fact that you had just been sleeping for who knows how long in a hospital bed, ‘ _Don’t worry, Gunther, Eld, Oluo and Petra, I’ll make this up to you,_ ’ you thought to yourself, ‘ _I won’t let her get away with this, over my dead body._ ’

\----------------------------------------------------------

For about the sixth time since you tried to fall asleep, you woke up once again.

You weren’t completely sure if it was caused by the fact that you had just slept for who knows how long in the med bay, or that every time you tried to drift off you were eventually greeted with the faces of your old squad -which, as you traced faint lines on the ceiling of Hanji’s bedroom, only made you more determined to make sure that you were there to make sure Annie was in the very least, detained- but regardless of that, you weren’t that tired, so consequently you weren’t that bothered sleep-wise if this was what was going to happen until the sun rose the next morning, ‘ _Or maybe at this point it’s today, I can’t really tell just by looking outside_.’

The moon was up in the sky now, angled almost perfectly to peek in through the bedroom window and hit your face, it’s pale, dimmed white light casting itself in a way so that it illuminated the entire room almost evenly -save for a few dark spots that were shaded by furniture and the like. The air was almost perfectly still, the only exceptions being the breeze that could be heard every once in a while and some other sound that you were just now picking up on, ‘ _Wait a second, what_ is _that?_ ’

You immediately became cautious, not trusting the odd noise- and you found yourself doing your best to take quiet footfalls over to the ajar window to try and look for the cause. Sticking your head past the frame ever so slightly, you looked to one side first, and then the other, going to place both your hands on the window sill before stopping halfway through when you remembered that it would hurt to do so with your bad hand. Settling to only use your dominant one, you leaned your body out of the window the smallest bit to make sure nothing was downwards either. And while you didn’t find whatever was making that noise, you did find yourself freezing in place as a memory washed over your consciousness -the somewhat recent events of you and the Special Operations Squad trying to get bags of dirt inside Levi’s office playing in your head. You swore if you listened close enough you could hear Petra and Oluo nervously babbling on about how they didn’t like each other in _that_ way, or perhaps if you strained your ears enough you would be able to detect Eld and Gunther’s laughter as they pretended to drop you, you soon after scolding them with a bag of dirt in your hands.

Squinting your eyes shut, you focused all of your energy into hearing something else from them, desperate to have even the smallest semblance of them back into your life -that was, until the sound that had caused you to look out the window played once more. This time it was very clear that it wasn’t coming from outside, but rather somewhere in Hanji’s office, just past her bedroom door -so shaking your head to snap yourself out of it, you once again did your best to keep your feet silent against the creaky floorboards of your girlfriend’s room to see what was going on, ‘ _I didn’t hear Hanji come back in, so it’s either her and I was just too tired to hear it, or someone has broken into her room and is currently doing something._ ’ As you finally made your way to the door, you put your good hand on the knob for a second before briefly looking around the room, ‘ _In the odd case that it is someone who broke into Hanji’s room, I don’t want to be left defenceless, especially when I’m without part of my hand._ ’ cue you flashing your hues to your bad hand for a moment before getting back to the task at hand, ‘ _I need to find something to be able to protect myself with, even if I might not be able to do that much. I should make an effort to hide my bandaged hand as well, so then they don’t see that as something to take advantage of._ ’ Seeing a leftover spearhead -with a handle-like length that you would be able to hold onto- from making the STRAWS, you decided that it was the best shot you were going to get -only after raising an eyebrow of course, the object clearly out of place but not completely so as you recalled that Hanji had kept the materials for the prototypes you had built in her room.

The metal was cold as you grasped it in your better hand, the feeling etching into your skin as you moved yourself back over to the door and did your best to get ready to open it noiselessly. It was rather tricky, but after a few attempts you managed to wrap your remaining, wrapped up fingers onto the metal knob of Hanji’s door and slowly twist it open, tilting your head ever so slightly to look into the room through the crack. You saw that the room was just as lit up by the moon’s midnight beams as the room you were in was, but the thing that truly caught your attention was the way how the noise became more defined -and now you could clearly tell that it wasn’t anything along the lines of someone who had broken into the section commander’s room, nor was it a threat to you at all.

Through the faint light provided from Hanji’s window behind her desk, you could see a blob covered in a darkened blanket shaking every once in a while on her lighter, mint-coloured sofa, a few sniffles to be heard every now and then while you identified the sound from before as the soft cries that emanated from the blob. The sight immediately made you tense, and you couldn’t help but just stare at who you assumed was Hanji as she tried her best to muffle her sobs.

Cautiously, you put the arrowhead back and opened the door just enough so that you could slip into the office undetected -but unfortunately for you, your attempt to sneak into the room was marked as a failure, the creaky wooden floor not allowing such a thing and instead groaning underneath your weight, alerting the crying girl of your presence. The noise immediately stopped as Hanji poked her glasses-less head from underneath the covers and turned in your direction, and upon seeing that her eyes were in fact glassy -something you could tell from the glare the limited light provided- you felt your breath catch in your throat. Never, in your three years of working with her, had you seen the emotionally strong woman be even close to tearing up -at least not that you remembered. She never had when riding out into battle, she didn’t when Trost fell, hell, she didn’t cry when your titan test subjects were killed.

But here she was, struggling to keep it all in as she plastered a very obviously fake smile on her lips, “O-Oh! I didn’t see you there, sorry,” she started in a false giggle, standing up and letting the blanket -that had been wrapped around her- fall onto the couch as she fully addressed you to the best of her abilities, “How are you feeling? Do you need anything?” Her voice was unnervingly strong, so close to her usual one that you wondered if you would have been able to tell she was upset at all if not for the now drying tears that stained her cheeks.

“H-Hanji…?” you could only manage to meekly say, ever so hesitant -and quite honestly clueless as to what the best move to make was. There was a brief second where the both of you just looked at each other before she dropped her gaze to the floorboards, a deep feeling of anxiousness creeping up into your stomach as you regarded her in her poor state -and eventually you concluded that the best move to make here would be to address it, ‘ _I don’t want her to be upset, the Walls know that. I don’t wanna push her either into telling me, but it wouldn’t hurt to at least ask about it._ ’

Quietly, you made your way closer to the distressed female, grabbing onto her left arm with your good hand once you were close enough only for her to try and uselessly pull it out of your arm, “ᵂʰ… What’s wrong?”

A humourless laugh escaped past her lips, her eyes dulled as they remained pointed at the ground -her eyes still and opened but unobservant as she knew that she couldn’t fool you, “Shouldn’t I be asking you that, (N/-... (Y/N)? You’re the one injured here.” When she corrected herself to use your actual name -as opposed to the nickname she had given you not too long ago- you couldn’t stop the frown that weighed upon your lèvres, bringing yourself closer to her and enrapturing her in a hug. Resting your head on her shoulder, you felt her tense up and let out the smallest of gasps, her arms remaining lame at her sides as she weakly protested by pulling away ever so lightly -you slinging your arms around her neck and holding her close to you, “I’m fine, but… Hanji, you don’t have to hide.” you softly spoke, doing your best to reassure the girl that whatever she was upset over was going to be ok, “It’s like you’ve once said to me, ‘ _I’ll always be here for you, even if no one else is._ ’”

As soon as you uttered the words, they had an immediate effect on the section commander -the girl now forcing herself out of your loving hold as she looked to you colder than she ever had, “Don’t say that. You need to stay away from me, (Y/N).” In her eyes held a sudden fabricated frost, that typical warm chocolate gaze you’ve grown to adore sharp and bitter as she spoke -yet as you found yourself looking into them longer and longer, they came to regain part of that sweet tenderness that you always associated with her until she broke eye contact, once more looking off to the ground at nothing in particular, "Why?" The simple question made her slump her shoulders at first, but she quickly regained her previous stature -and it had been so sudden that you doubted it had happened at all in the moment, "You… You just do, ok?"

You gave her a look that told her you would not accept that as an answer, and you were about to try and convince her once more that she should tell you when you heard her sniffle, her left cheek being freshly stained with the trail of a tear as she refused to look away or give in, “No.”

Her cocoa hues widened by a fraction, surprise apparent on her features, “H-Huh?”

“I said no, Hanji.”

“But…”

“No buts, I don’t care what’s happening. I’m not leaving you when you need me the most. Especia-... ᴴ-Hey!”

Before you could even finish, the girl’s face broke and she crumpled, allowing herself to fall to her knees, bent over her own body as the creak of the floorboards hid under the sound of her sobs, said girl trying to stop them by holding her hands to her mouth tightly. You didn’t waste any time to bring yourself to the brunette, wrapping your arms around her as you wished for nothing more than to take this pain away from her. Her body shook untypically and she still remained unresponsive to your hugs all while wracking with heartbreaking, painful sobs as you could feel drops of a salted water fall onto your skin -the mere liquid feeling as if it were burning into you seeing as you were certain of who they came from. They were easily forgotten, however, once the breaking down girl tried to speak.

And even though you tried your best to decipher what she was saying, it was no use in the end as the sobs remained unintelligible, “ˢʰʰ, ˢʰʰ…” you shushed in your best attempt to soothe her, rubbing her back ever so gently with your good hand, the bad one wrapped around her torso to keep her close, “What was that?”

“I sa-id, don’t say that.” Her voice broke with a hiccup, the sound causing agony to ripple throughout your core as you couldn’t help but stare at the girl in an attempt to figure out what was wrong. Ever so softly, even at her uncharacteristic jaggedness, you replied in a question, “Don’t say what?”

“That you’ll b-be there for me…”

You hugged her tighter, “Why Hanji, why?”

“ᴮᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ᴵ…”

She hesitated, and you could tell the words were dancing on the tip of her tongue as she refrained from telling you what was causing her all of this misery. Bringing your lips to her ear, you delicately spoke in a hushed voice, “ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃⁿ ᵗᵉˡˡ ᵐᵉ _ᵃⁿʸᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ_.”

The woman went still in your arms, almost as if she were debating saying something or not once again before she finally broke, her sobs quieting as she revealed what was playing at her mind, “I’m the reason that you’re in so much pain right now, (Y/N)... I _caused_ you to lose part of your hand. I approved of the traps that failed to capture Annie, who in turn _caused_ you to lose many people you hold dear. I didn’t do more to help you, I wasn’t _there_ to stop Annie, and you almost died because of it. ᴵ ˢʰᵒᵘˡᵈ'ᵛᵉ ᵇᵉᵍᵍᵉᵈ ᴱʳʷⁱⁿ ᵗᵒ ˢᵗᵃʸ ʷⁱᵗʰ ʸᵒᵘ ᵒⁿᶜᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵉᶠᵗ, ᴵ ˢʰᵒᵘˡᵈ'ᵛᵉ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵃᵍʳᵉᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ˢᵗᵃʸ ⁱⁿ ᶠᵒʳᵐᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿ...”

“Oh, Hanji… It’s ok-”

“No, (Y/N)! It isn’t!” she harshly spoke, and while the words were technically directed at you, it was clear that the coldness applied were intended to inflict herself and not you, “I’m not good enough to be with you, so you need to stay away from me. In the end I’ll only hurt you, ok? I thought that I would be strong enough to slowly create distance between us by inviting you to stay in my room, but I’m not- ...so you have to (Y/N). You have to end us.”

Her vision was pointed towards her hands, the left one resting in the palm of the right as she refused to look at you -you currently feeling jolts of anxiety run throughout you at the thought of ending your relationship with the lovable girl. Standing up on your knees and taking your good hand, you carefully put your index finger and directed her sight to line up with yours, “Hanji no, you’re wrong. Listen, please- it wasn’t you who caused any of this and I don’t want to lose what we have here. The only one to blame is Annie Leonhardt, ok? No one else, especially not you.” you reassured her, ‘ _No one else’s fault besides mine, anyways._ ’

“That’s not…”

“It is true though, Hanji. She’s the one who I was fighting, she’s the one who escaped from the traps, she’s the one who… who killed my friends. And even if it weren’t true, which it is, I would still want to be with you, I promise.”

Her oaken spheres stared into your own, the pale lighting from the moon shining in from her office window cascading past her hair and shoulders in a stunning outline -it was almost as if she were glowing in that very moment. Softly, you reached out your good hand and brought it up to part of her tresses that framed her face, brushing the thin threads behind her ear as you then cupped the side of her face, “(Y/N), is there anything I could do to make it up to you at least…? I’ll do anything.” she asked, and it was only now that you noticed the way her tears nearly glowed in the faint light, “I’m sure I could convince Erwin to keep you in the Survey Corps at least, but I… I don’t know if you’d really want that.”

A sad smile fell upon your lips, ‘ _I don’t know that I’ll get to even enjoy that Hanji. I could very well die within less than a day if things don’t go right tomorrow…. But, I can’t tell her that. I could never allow myself to break her heart by saying anything like that._ ’ So with that thought in mind, you connected your (E/C) eyes to her cinnamon pools, “I would love that Hanji, I don’t think I’d want anything more.”

“Good.” she spoke, a sigh of relief escaping past her lips as she turned her face towards your good palm, her eyes following and looking off to the side, “ᴵ’ᵐ ᵍˡᵃᵈ ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿ ᵃᵗ ˡᵉᵃˢᵗ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᵃᵗ.”

The image was worthy of taking your breath away; there the woman sat on her knees, hands resting in her lap as she leaned into your touch, so very vulnerable and yet she still held a sense of strength about her -something that, if you had been asked a week or two ago if someone could ever display the two traits at the same time, you would have said it was impossible, “You don’t have to do anything though, just being here is plenty enough…” you reassured, a small blush forming upon your cheeks at your honesty, you yourself now looking away but meaning the words wholeheartedly nonetheless -and as you spoke, a small, faint hunger crept up in your stomach, the swirls twirling in you indicative of the kiss you had been denied from the female before in the med bay, ‘ _I need to calm down, geez. What’s gotten into me? Get yourself together, (Y/N), Hanji needs you right now!_ ’

Your thoughts, although simple and straightforward, were enough to pull you away from reality -and the only thing that grounded you down once more was the feeling of the brunette wrapping her slender arms around your torso, one hand sneaking up your back and standing up on her knees with a slight creak of the wooden floorboards as she rested her head in the crook of your neck, keeping you close to her. The way you could feel your face heat up made you glad that she most likely couldn’t see your cheeks from her angle, although that thought soon faded as you were certain that what she said next made your neck heat up as well as you hugged her back, “I still don’t understand how I was able to get someone like you, (N/N). Can I… I mean, I can still tell you anything, right?” Her breath was soft and gentle on your neck, tickling ever so slightly as you answered her, “I promise, forever and always Hanji. That won’t ever change, all you have to do is find me.”

Temporarily, the words saddened you, ‘ _I really shouldn’t be making promises like those when tomorrow is… is…_ ’

“Then I want to tell you that for the past few days… ᴺᵒ, ʷʰᵒ ᵃᵐ ᴵ ᵏⁱᵈᵈⁱⁿᵍ?” she muttered a little to herself, her face burying in a little bit more into your skin as she refocused her thought, “For the past few months and probably more, (Y/N), you have been the highlight of my life. And I know that this might be too soon for you, and you don’t have to tell me that you feel the same so please don’t feel pressured to, but…”

Faintly, you could hear her take in a small breath, your own catching in your throat as you listened to her words, “...but I love you, (Y/N). I think I have for quite a while now.”

It felt like a cold shock rippled throughout your body, and you couldn’t help the way you hugged her tighter to yourself as soon as you processed the words, ‘ _For the love of Sina, how could she think that I wouldn’t feel the same? I mean, yes, this is moving exceptionally fast, but we’ve known each other for the longest time already and I know for a fact that I feel the same. And well…, even if I didn’t, it probably wouldn’t matter past tomorrow anyways._ ’

A bright smile broke out on your lips, the curvature unseen by the girl it was caused by as you told her how you felt, “Hanji, I love you too. I love you so much.”

A happy hum could be heard coming from your lover, her fingers moving slightly on the back of your shirt as light, loving kisses were being placed on your neck, her speaking with each one being placed between a word, “That’s a relief,” came her reply softly, plump lips lingering on your neck for a second, “I’ve been dying to tell you that for the past week or so now.”

Your skin tingled ever so slightly at the delicate touches, enjoying the contact thoroughly as you responded, “I’m so glad you- Gah!” you took in a sharp intake of air when you felt a small sting to your flesh, and it only once you realised that it was a nibble that you knew that Hanji’s playful side had come back to her, the girl regaining her more lively side as a low chuckle could be heard coming from her, “You’re adorable, y’know that?” Heat started to pool in your stomach, a desire that you had never really noticed before becoming much more prominent as she continued to nibble, the small bites turning into her gently sucking on your neck before you knew it. Instinctively you tightened your hold on her, the feeling practically foreign as she continued to work her magic on your skin while you were unable to form a single, coherent thought. You could feel her arms unravel from your body more as she rested them on your hips, pulling back for a second to look at you -it did not last long however, as she soon crashed her lips to yours in a needy want, and it became apparent to you in that moment that she had wanted to kiss you earlier in the med bay as well. Her lèvres, although a tad bit rougher than yours, were generally soft as they worked against your own, and you found yourself eagerly returning the gesture as your arms wrapped around her neck and to the back of her head, angling yours ever so slightly to get a better angle to kiss her back. Pushing your front against hers, you felt the way her chest rubbed against yours -the feeling pleasurable even beneath your shirt and bra, and that wanting spark you had felt in your gut prior tenfolded when Hanji let out a small grunt in approval, lightly scraping her teeth against yours as she wordlessly asked for permission.

Without hesitation you allowed it, and it wasn’t much longer that her tongue swiftly attacked your own -a sweet taste following as her muscle rubbed against your own, spit mixing in your mouth that stayed in your mouth even once she pulled away for a second with a string of saliva connecting yours for a second before it broke off and dribbled down on your shirt ever so slightly, “ᴮ⁻ᴮᵉᵈ?”

“ᴮᵉᵈ.” came your breathless reply, connecting your (E/C) hues to her lust-filled ones as you held onto her hand that she offered with your complete one.

You didn’t even think over your response, but in that moment as you stood up with Hanji and were dragged by her over to her bedroom you found yourself unwilling to change anything that you had said -after all, you wanted the same thing that she seemed to, so what was the point in stopping all of it?

To you, there was none.

As soon as you both reached the bed, you pushed her down on it -obviously taking her off-guard as she fell on the plush mattress, but she didn’t complain at all as your left leg pushed itself in between her two legs, your good arm propping yourself over her as you connected your lips once more. This time you gained entry in her mouth as you could feel her tug at your shirt for a second before she started to work at the buttons that were in the front from the bottom to the top in a way that was too slow for you. Exploring her mouth, your tongue danced with hers -although somewhat inexperienced- as the woman beneath you partially fought for dominance as well. At first you were winning, the tables turned completely however when Hanji slid your sleeves down your arms, the fabric cool on your burning skin but soon forgotten about when Hanji grabbed onto your breasts, rubbing her thumbs on your barely seeable, yet erect nipples through your bra -the friction able to be felt through the material as you gasped and pulled back slightly. It didn’t last long however, as her fingers soon travelled to your back where he clasps to your bra were, honeyed hues looking into your (E/C) ones for consent as she traced small circles on your back with her one finger almost teasingly, “Yes, p-please.”

She lightly smirked as she constricted the space between your body and hers, you getting your arms out of your soon-after discarded shirt as she easily undid the mechanism and released your bosom, not wasting any time and immediately attacking your neck with bites once more as she trailed off downwards. Involuntarily you let out a grunt when her lips travelled across your breast and connected to your nipple, suckling and tugging every once in a while as her one hand reached up to your other breast -giving it the same loving treatment as she did to the first one.

Not wanting to be the only one worked on, you brought your knee that was in between the section commander’s legs and connected it to where her core hid under her trousers -it proved to be a double-edged sword however, because at the action your girlfriend let out a guttural groan, shifting smally to try and get more friction as she continued to undo you with the vibrations coming from her mouth. You were about to ask Hanji if you could take off her shirt -but you froze when you remembered that you only had one capable hand- so without being able to do much more, you forced yourself to pry from Hanji’s addictive hold and looked down at her, her body still rubbing ever so slightly against your clothed knee as you could only assume she was desperate for friction, “Take off your shirt, will you?”

“Y-Yeah,” she stuttered slightly, hastily doing as you had said as you took the initiative to try to unbutton your pants, “If you feel comfortable enough, go for your bra and pants, too.”

It almost took you embarrassingly long to figure out how to undo your white jeans -and although you weren’t completely sure if it was solely because of the part of your hand that was missing, you were sure you would have at least fumbled a bit solely from the want coursing throughout you. By the time you had managed to get your pants around your ankles and step out of them, the girl had been able to snake her way out of her confinements and was currently in the middle of pushing her clothes off of her bed and onto the floor, her hair flowing freely out of her messy ponytail -surprisingly it wasn’t knotted- and flashing you a guilty smile when she saw that she had been caught, “Oh, Hanji…” you jovially teased, shaking your head.

Donned only in your panties, you made your way back on top of the girl and brought your face closer to hers, stopping only for a second as she sent you a small smirk and wrapped her arms around your neck, gently playing with part of your tresses that were rooted around your nape, “You’ll be saying that plenty tonight babe, don’t worry.” Ever so subtly she licked her lips, giving you a promise in the form of a wink as her honey orbs poured into your own, full of want and adoration through her thick lashes.

A jesting smile blossomed on your lips as you pushed your front against hers ever so slightly in a partial impatience, the feeling of you rubbing against her not enough to satiate the hunger that had grown in you, “I can’t wait, I hope you live up to that.” You sent her a teasing, coy wink of your own -one you noticed had caused her to blush ever so slightly, and at this you could only assume that she wasn’t expecting you to tease her back- soon after attaching your lips to her as you bit at them slightly, Hanji letting out a tiny gasp as you did so before eagerly returning the kiss. As you distracted her with your mouth, you made sure that she didn’t notice your good hand slowly making its way down to her centre -your body supporting itself with your bad arm’s forearm- only for you to allow your healthy hand to glide over the skin of her inner thigh, fingers teasingly tracing small circles -as she had on your back- in a subtle payback. The female gasped into the kiss as your digits found her folds, lightly dragging themselves across her growing slickness as you felt her start to kiss more and more sloppily in anticipation of your next move -and it was when your thumb found her hooded clit and started to rub it slightly that you could see her visibly bite her lip as she broke off the kiss, a sharp intake of air as she slightly moved her body downwards more into your hand to try and get more of what you had to offer.

Seeing that she now obviously knew what you were doing, you lowered yourself down a little so you could better see what you were doing -and looking with the aid of the pale moonlight only made you want her more, your own ache forming in your core as you brought your face closer to her. After a moment, you replaced your fingers with your lips, tongue brushing against her clit as you gave it a mild nip every now and then, “ᴹᵐᵐⁿᵍʰ,” came her strained response, clearly trying to keep it more on the quiet side so then no one else would be woken up in the middle of the night. Your good hand approached her entrance, straightening and folding itself so that your middle finger prodded at it -at first just going in a little past the first knuckle to see how wet she was until she let out an impatient whine, which caused you to eventually go all the way in to your knuckles once you deemed that she was ready. Continuing to swirl your tongue around her sensitive bud, your bad hand went around her leg and rested on her stomach and hip loosely, your good hand moving back and forth within her heat with a pace that was slowly getting faster, “...ᵐᵒʳᵉᵉᵉᵉ…”

Your lips curved into a hidden smirk, humming as if you didn’t hear her while still teasing her with her clit. The effect this had was obvious as she gasped, hips seeming to instinctively buck towards you partially as you slowed your pace a little, waiting for her answer. She let out a small whine at the loss of friction, hands gripping onto the bedsheets as she repeated herself, “ᴵ… I need morreee, pleeeeassee…”

A strong wave of want rolled over your body at this -your throat going dry but elsewhere only getting wetter- not verbally saying anything but complying to her wishes overall as you added your index finger to the mix -your finger once again sliding in with ease, finding yourself not needing to spit on your digits as they filled her down to your knuckles. You took your mouth away from her clit to focus on what you were doing a little below, licking your lips as you could partially taste her juices on your tongue -and you hastened your speed in increments, moving your body a little so you could get a better angle and enter her deeper, sweat forming on both of your bodies as you worked her closer to her climax and her tensing under all of your ministrations.

It was going to be a long night, you were sure of that -Hanji hadn’t made up her promise yet, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated a little before 3 February, 2021!
> 
> Ok, just a few things that I would like to address -I am so terribly sorry to any AMAB readers here. There truly are no excuses, I should have put somewhere that the female character that (Y/N) is here is AFAB -as this is what I am and what I feel most comfortably writing with. I genuinely contemplated writing a second scene where the reader was AMAB, but I didn't because 1. I did not know if it would offend some AMAB readers or make them uncomfortable. I know that whenever anything reminding my ex-girlfriend that she was AMAB made her upset and uncomfortable -understandably so- and I would hate if I did that to anyone with this story. 2. I am not all that familiar with genitalia apart from my own -I'm not ignorant, but I've never seen a dick before lmao- and although I am definitely inexperienced with writing lemons and smut in general, I would never be able to do justice to an AMAB trans reader and how she would feel. Ik that I didn't really go into detail with what Hanji did to the reader -and this is because I'm hoping that AMAB readers will feel more included in this sense, as my goal is to not exclude anyone- but I'm hoping that what I did do was somewhat sufficient. Secondly, this was my first time writing smut so please don't crucify me ^^''


	39. 39║Depression

**XXXXXXXX, XX XXXX, 850, 2 hours and 3 minutes left**

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The first thing you heard when you woke up was the small squeak of a door opening, the sound soon being followed by the groaning of floorboards as someone tried their best to quietly make their way across the room, ‘ _Where am I again?_ ’ you pondered for a moment, scanning your location through groggy eyes. As soon as you could fully see through your (E/C) hues, it came back to you easily, ‘ _Oh yeah, that’s right -I’m in Hanji’s room. Last night we…_ ’ Your cheeks became dyed a deep rouge, recalling the events of the prior night as your spheres fell upon Hanji’s figure, said girl standing with her back towards you as she slipped her sleeves into her typical off-white blouse, facing her closet with her pants already secured around her hips.

“Good morning.” you spoke, still slightly flustered about what had transpired last night, but overall not letting it stop you from talking to the woman as you normally would. Opening your mouth, you were about to continue and ask her a typical question -something along the lines of, “How are you?” or “How’s it going?”- but stopped yourself short as you noticed her dampened hair, the offshoots that would usually stand up on their own more prominently slightly dropping downwards with what you assumed was water-weight, “Wait, did you take a shower?”

The female faced you as she finished buttoning her shirt, a pretend annoyed glare playing upon her face as she shot you a look and recognised that you had awakened from your slumber, “Well good morning to you too, I feel personally attacked.” she drawled out, before pitching her voice a little higher as she asked with a whine, “I’m not that bad, am I? You say that like I’ve never done so before.” You got out of the bed as she had spoken, first wrapping a blanket around your body -to Hanji’s expressed disapproval though a grunt- before slowly making your way to her, all while giving her a sceptical look, “I don’t know there Hanji, I wouldn’t put it past you.”

She let out a scoff as her mocha spheres fell upon you, “Wow, glad to see you think so highly of me.” Giving her a teasing grin, you picked up the leather harness that was on the edge of the bed and handed it to her through your blanket, that grin souring a little as you recalled why she was getting into her harness, ‘ _That’s right, she’s leaving to go detain Annie and make sure that she’s captured -and I also need to ask Hanji where this is all going down, that way I can be there too and make sure I can help as much as possible._ ’ Watching as she gave you an appreciative nod and easily untangled the thick threads, she started applying them to her body while you replied to her previous statement, “Can you blame me?”

She rolled her eyes, “Ouch, since when were you so mean, (N/N)?”

“Ah, y’know. Some would say I’ve always been like this.”

‘ _O-Oh…_ ’ You partially froze as you said the words -Eld and Gunther, and all the times they’ve called you mean, coming to mind as you did your best to push the memories back, just for now, ‘ _All I have to do is stay strong until she leaves, then I can break down if I really need to. But not right now; if I really do end up dying trying to do this I don’t want her to think I did so while sad. That would just be cruel to her…_ ’

Everything went quiet for a few moments as Hanji finished up putting on her gear -her only casually responding, “Yeah, right.” to what you had said before- so you took this opportunity to ask her where she was heading for the day, ‘ _I don’t think that I’ll get a much better chance than this, not before she has to eventually leave anyways._ ’

“Hey Hanji?” you started, “Where is this whole thing even taking place?”

She stopped for a second as she stood up from the bed. Eyeing you as if trying to decipher if you were planning anything or not; weariness was easily detectable as she seemed to go back and forth in her head if she should tell you or not -you had predicted that she would be suspicious however, and were prepared to back up your reasoning, “I just wanna know in case something happens to you, so then I know at least the general location of where you’ll be so I can visit you hospital-and/or-med-bay wise. Speaking of,” you added, meeting your stern orbs to her sweet cinnamon ones warningly, “You better not get hurt. I’ll strangle you if you do, y’know.”

“Yeah, yeah.” she said, waving her hand carelessly as if to dismiss the ‘threat’ while her body became more relaxed than it had been seconds ago, you supposing that she figured you were just playing the part of an overprotective girlfriend as she gave you a saddened smile, “This is all going down in Stohess, closer to the border between Wall Sina and Rose at noon like I said yesterday.” she informed, grabbing her Survey Corps jacket and slipping it on, “I can’t imagine if I got hurt -which I won’t, I promise you- that they’d take me much further than there.”

As she said she wouldn’t get hurt, an image of Oluo flashed in your head -the male reassuring you that everyone would be fine right before the fifty-seventh expedition took place making itself comfortable on the hot burners of your mind before you quickly ushered them away, ‘ _I can’t escape, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t._ ’ Your eyes became the smallest bit glassy at your inner feeling of hopelessness, and even though it was small and unnoticeable to anyone not paying careful attention to you, it would probably be fairly apparent to those who were -which, fortunately for you, was not the case as Hanji was distracted while she looked about her room, undoubtedly for her goggles by the way she squinted. Taking this chance to blink once or twice to rid of the starting-to-form tears, you responded to her and scanned the nearby furniture for her missing spectacles, “You better keep that promise, Zoë.”

“Oh please, you know that Moblit wouldn’t allow anything to happen anyways, (L/N).” she reasoned, making the same note that you had mentally less than two minutes ago, “Still though, don’t let that make you feel too comfortable out there.”

The woman found a pair of goggles partially under some paperwork on her nightstand -causing you to wonder, ’ _Does she have more than one pair? Now that I think about it, they shouldn’t be in here given that she was trying to fall asleep in her office before I saw her._ ’- and she momentarily turned them about in her hands until the lenses were facing the right way and towards the wooden floor, then taking them and placing them upon her forehead in a way that didn’t pull at her still dampened hair, “I won’t, (N/N),” she spoke softly, clearly doing her best to reassure you as she then hugged you gently, “The only reason that I’m still alive is probably because I don’t allow myself to get too comfortable. Besides, I most likely won’t even be needed; I’m part of Plan C, after all.”

Leaning into the embrace, you snuggled your head into her shoulder -feeling it mess up your hair the smallest bit more as your hands were catered to your chest -gripping the fabric to the blanket in your good hand, the bad one hidden beneath it, “Good, good. When do you have to leave?” Truth be told, you genuinely did not want her to leave -your nerves, however, just wanted her to walk out the door and get over to the Stohess District before you could second-guess yourself, ensuring that you would at least make an effort to get over there before everything went down. Her chest rumbled ever so slightly as she replied, her head leaning against yours comfortingly as she answered you, “I should probably go get my gear on within the next few minutes, if I’m going to be honest.”

The fact that it was so soon saddened you, but you understood that she couldn’t exactly stay here that much longer -she played a vital role in capturing Annie should things go seriously wrong after all- so as much as you didn’t really want to, you forced yourself to pull back from her ever so slightly.

For a mere moment, she stared at you and you stared at her -the both of you just taking the other in until she brought her lips to yours, sealing the both of you in a sombre but loving kiss that ended way too soon for your liking. A sinking feeling set in your stomach as the woman slowly pulled away, sending you a careful curve of her tantalising lèvres before she broke off from you and made her way to her bedroom door, opening it with the accompaniment of the floorboards that were protesting under her weight as she half-way stepped outside, turning back to you ever so slightly, “I’ll be back before you know it, (Y/N).”

“I hope so,” you voiced lowly -before the thought of adding more to it passed your mind, you meaning your following words wholeheartedly as you reminded her, “I love you, Hanji.”

Before what you had said, the look on her face had been more straight-faced -not upset or annoyed, but more on the blank side with a hint of contentment hiding in plain sight upon her lips. Once the words came out of your mouth however and fell on her ears, her eyes lightened up a tad bit more; the small bend that had once decorated her features deepening as she answered back to you, sincerity laced within her words and threading the message together, “I love you too, (Y/N).”

Then it was almost in slow motion that she broke eye contact with you, turning her body as she went past the bedroom door and went into her office, her boots easily heard as they met the wooden floor and went to the portal that would allow her to escape into the hallway, and consequently allow for her to get her gear that she needed for the operation at Stohess.

Now being all alone, the only thing left that you could do was take a brisk shower and prepare yourself to get over to Stohess; planning to get gear and find some way to get there before noon hit, you could feel the adrenaline already surging throughout you in fear of something going wrong -or the worst case possible, you dying and Annie being able to escape from punishment. But despite it all, there was only one thing going through your mind right now, a feeling of dread weighing down in the pit of your stomach as it repeated and you forced your body to start to get ready, starting to have second thoughts about going through with your self-made plan, ‘ _That might be the last time I ever see Hanji._ ’

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‘ _You’re telling me that she doesn’t have a single piece of paper here, really?_ ’ you mentally complained to yourself in annoyance, shifting through the leaves of sheets on her bureau for a simple blank piece of paper. It wasn’t like there wasn’t _any_ paper at all, it was just that the ones that looked like they could be usable had some sort of writing on it -and no date that could tell you what day it was either, you had already tried that. You had already managed to find a pencil to write with, and the lead tip was sufficient enough in length and sharpness that you knew you would be able to use it for what you needed, ‘ _Of course it’s the one time that I really need something that it’s not here._ ’ The lack of two complete hands didn’t make this any easier either, the new bandages that you had applied after taking a quick shower wrapped somewhat tightly around your bad hand, ‘ _It’s going to be difficult learning how to use 3DMG with an incomplete hand, I can’t exactly just use my good one to operate both blades. I guess I’ll have to learn how to do it before midday today, though._ ’

Shaking your head to focus yourself once more, your grounded yourself to reality as you let your shoulders slump, ‘ _This is sick, but not unexpected of this world._ ’ Normally, you would have just gotten out a sheet of paper from your field journal, but seeing how you didn’t bring it with you and you had currently dressed in your clothes from the evening before -you would have prefered a clean pair, but they weren’t _that_ dirty so you were ok with them for now- your Survey Corps jacket that hung on your shoulders retained two empty breast pockets.

“Section Commander Hanji!” you heard from outside the door suddenly, a fervent knock soon placed upon the wooden barrier between you and, based on the voice, you supposed that it was most likely Moblit on the other side -that, and not many other people would be asking for her presence right now before the operation in Stohess. You left from behind her desk as you went to open the door, but the caramel-headed man beat you to it as he forced it open, eyes wide in a stressed terror before his brown hues focused on yours -only halfway across the room- in confusion, “We need to-! Captain (Y/N)...?”

“Heya Moblit, it’s nice to see you.” you started with slight amusement, already dropping your prior annoyance at the welcomed distraction, “Oh, and if you’re looking for Hanji she left not too long ago, maybe around ten minutes ago.”

It seemed as if he had momentarily forgotten what he had come here to do in his confusion, because not long after he said that, his eyes became enlarged once more in worry, “Thank you, captain! Please, have a good day.” he spoke, sending you a strained smile as he then tried to rush his way out through the door once again -you stopped him before he could however, “Moblit, can you give me an empty page from your journal real quick before you go?”

Raising a brow, he hurriedly fished his field journal out and started flipping to a blank page, “If I may ask, why, captain?”

“I just need to write something, that’s all.” you justified.

“Here you go.” he spoke, thrusting his hand outwards with a piece of parchment between his forefinger and thumb, already closing his notebook single-handedly with a snap, “I’m terribly sorry, Captain (Y/N), but I’ve really got to go find-”

“Of course,” you agreed, grasping the paper in your hands and reassuring him that he wasn’t offending you or anything with a partially false smile playing upon your lips at remembering, for the second time that day, what was happening not too far in the future, “She went to get her gear last I saw her, just- just uh… make sure you keep her safe, eh? I don’t want her getting hurt, y’know.”

He gave you a grateful yet curious look, “I will, I promise.”

The assistant then hurried to get to the door, taking wide strides as he let himself out the door, “Have a good day, captain.” he spoke with a wave.

“It’s (Y/N).” you jovially scolded to the best of your abilities, giving him a faux glare while clearly not being in the same rush as he was.

He minutely rolled his eyes, slowing for just a moment as he addressed you, “Have a good day, (Y/N).”

“You too, Mother Mobby.”

As soon as he closed the door, you couldn’t help but think once more, ‘ _That might be the last time I see him as well. Today is quite a downcast day, isn’t it?_ ’ Regardless, you took the paper in your hands and placed it upon the table that was in Hanji’s room -only after you had cleared a small section for you to write comfortably on, after all, there was that ever-present thick coating of paperwork laying on it from the messy-haired girl.

_Clink._

The abnormal and unexpected sound caused to at first jump slightly, then partially tilt your head in confusion before looking down at the ground to see what had made the noise -given as you guessed that something had fallen from the table when you were moving things about. There, right in between your two feet that were hidden in your boots, was a piece of metal -it was no bigger than the size of your palm, and it was rather thin, but not so much that you thought it would easily snap between your fingers or be as malleable as foil, ‘ _What is this? Why is it here?_ ’ You brought your healthy hand down and picked the metallic item up, holding it to the light that poured through Hanji’s window behind her desk as you observed it carefully, ‘ _Is this shrapnel from a blade?_ ’ At three of its sides it was mostly smooth -save for the few indents from use, you supposed- but on the fourth side, it was sharp and rough, looking as if it could easily cut through your skin if you weren’t careful, ‘ _It looks as if Hanji kept a piece of her blade or something -er, well I guess really it could be anyone’s. But why would she keep someone else’s? No, why would she keep her_ own _? Unless it doesn’t belong to gear, but…_ ’ Looking at it one more time through the light, you angled it so that you could just about see your face; your (H/L) hair coloured a (H/C), your darkened and depressed (E/C) orbs that stared right into yours, your (S/C) flesh that pulled everything together -it was safe to say that it was still you.

But your face wasn’t all that you could see.

With the distance between you and the mirror-like blade, you could see with a strange precision and clarity what was behind you -or rather, _who_ was behind you. Countless people lined up at your back, spilling over the sides but ending right before they would have entered your peripheral vision; some of them were tall, some of them were short, others you recognised, and others you swore you had never seen before in your life -or that at least you didn't remember ever encountering them before. One thing united them all however, and that was the strong, bitter glare they all sent your way through the reflection as blood dripped down from their bodies -dull thuds echoing out into the space that you hadn’t noticed moments prior as the disgusting smell of rotting blood wafted about the room. You found yourself freezing in fear, not being able to move as you stared all of them back with frightened, huge eyes -four people especially caught your attention though, the blonde male at your right side with a blurred face, the tan man with spiked hair at your left side, the sandy blonde with blood dripping out of his mouth who was standing next to a girl shorter than he, the girls neck twisted and broken painfully.

All at once they then started to speak, their words chilling you to the core -and spoken in that deep, general hum that was always present when a group of people said the same thing at the same time, "ʸᵒᵘ..."

You desperately wanted to ask them, ' _Me what? What about me, what are you talking about?_ ' but you couldn't bring yourself to, the words dying in your throat as your body instinctively stilled on the spot -the only option you had left at this point was to remain motionless and wait for them to continue, "ᴵᵗ'ˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠᵃᵘˡᵗ. ᴵᵗ'ˢ ʸᵒᵘ, ʸᵒᵘ ᵏⁱˡˡᵉᵈ ᵘˢ."

"N-No, I didn't mean it... It wasn't me." you forced out to defend yourself, your voice cracking under the mental pressure their words were adding onto you.

"ᴵᵗ ʷᵃˢ ʸᵒᵘ."

"No, no it w-wasn't."

"ʸᵒᵘ," they all started, their eyes ever so watching of you as they continued to speak the word as if it were a mantra, starting at a whisper and getting louder and louder as they went, "ʸᵒᵘ, ʸᵒᵘ, ʸᵒᵘ."

"No, ˢᵗᵒᵖ… I said I'm sorry." you tried to convince them, and while you felt terrible for all of them, the most guilt fell upon you when the four who had been in the Special Operations Squad couldn't even look at you, the words they spoke in unison with everyone else spat out from their mouths as they chanted along, "ʸᵒᵘ, ʸᵒᵘ, ʸou."

Tears brimmed in your spheres, quickly overspilling and dripping onto the floor and your shirt as your face scrunched up in emotional pain, "I'm sorry, I'm so so so so _so_ sorry!"

"You, you, you."

"Please!"

"YoU, YOU, YOU."

" _HOW DO I MAKE IT ALL BETTER?!_ " your throat hurt as the plea ripped out of your throat, but not as much as your head from all the noise and commotion going on around you.

At your shouted question they ceased, the room growing quiet as they looked at you -all of them lessening the glare they had once been sending towards you ever so slightly, "Avenge us." The sobs that had been wracking throughout you stopped slowly, realisation setting in as you realised it was no longer a choice of your to carry through with this -this wasn't something you could back out of, no- this was something that you _could not_ fail at now, no matter the cost.

You, (Y/N) (M/N) (L/N), had to make sure that Annie Leonhardt got what she deserved for all the wrongs she had done on others.

"I will," you spoke, gritting your teeth in determination and tightening the hold you had on the metal that allowed for you to see them, "I promise you, I will -even if I think I physically can't!" In your outcry you turned to them, throwing the shrapnel to the ground with a clatter as you went to look all of them in the face -only to abruptly stop when no one was there, nothing present besides the mint sofa Hanji had cried on the night prior, the coffee table that had been there for as long as you could remember, and the wall to the room.

It took you a second to recover- on the inside you knew since you had seen everyone behind you that it all had to be fake, that there was no way that it was real, but in the end you couldn't stop yourself from falling for the lie, taking it as reality when it was nothing more than a well put together hallucination.

With slumped shoulders, you turned your body back to the oaken table, ' _All I have to do is write this letter, then I'm getting out of here and doing what I have to. At this point it's my job, my rightful duty as a fellow soldier, and I refuse to let Annie get by me once more_.'

**XXXXXXXX, XX XXXX, 850, 1 hour and 36 minutes left**

\----------------------------------------------------------

The door shut behind you with a slam, your boots practically stomping down the hallway as you made your way down the hallway and out of the HQ building to get to where the gear and supplies were kept, _'It doesn't matter if they have my gear there or not, I'll fucking steal a set if I need to,_ ' you practically seethed to yourself, your determination gaining a raged aspect about it as that fire to avenge your fallen comrades set your body ablaze and consumed you entirely, ' _I'll scale that Wall too if I can't get a ride into the city in time,_ ' you thought, turning a corner, ' _And if she shifts, and they fail to capture her, I'll hunt her down inside these damned Walls -hell, I'll even follow her outside of them too. I don't give a damn how hard it'll be, I'll-_ '

"Oi, what are yo-!"

You harshly fell on the ground as you bumped into someone, your behind sore momentarily as you glared at whoever had the guts to stop you in your tracks; that glare only doubled when you saw who it was however, " _What do you want Levi_ , I'm busy." The male remained silent as he looked down at you, not uttering a single word as his stormy, silver hues bore into your narrowed, (E/C) ones, "Well? I haven't got all day."

"Tch," he started with his arms crossed, only making a noise once you started to stand up by yourself, "Where are you even going? Aren't you confined to Hanji's room?"

"None of your business, and that's what they think, now move." you harshly spoke, not in the mood to deal with the short corporal's bullshit. As you tried to push past him, he grabbed onto your wrist, "Tell me, where are you going." You could tell based on his tone, he wasn't asking you to tell him, he was ordering you to tell him.

"I said I'm not telling you, now let go." you uncharacteristically snapped at him, directing all of the self-loathing you held in your body at the moment towards the higher-up.

"I'm not _dumb_ (Y/N), I heard you hinting at Erwin that you wanted to go last night at dinner. And by the way that you’re all alone and not in a bed healing up, you're getting gear to go see this all go down, aren't you?" You almost faltered for a second, shock close to rippling over your features before you halted the process altogether, choosing to break eye-contact and glare at the ground, “If you’re going to try and stop me, just give that up already. I won’t back down.”

You could feel Levi’s gaze on you as he studied you, not opening his mouth to speak until after a moment’s passage, “Wait here, got it?”

Trying to pull your wrist out of his hold but failing to, you spoke lowly, “Why should I? You’re just going to get the nurses and force me back inside a room.”

“I’m not getting any damn nurses, brat. I’m going to get you gear.”

This time your surprise was unconcealable, easily coating your face while you temporarily forgot about your anger, you sharply turning your head to him, “W-What?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself, I know you heard me.” he stated while letting go of you, already taking the few steps in the direction where you had been heading before and starting to walk off with a slight limp that you barely took note of, leaving you in the hallway by yourself. “Wait!” you cried, catching his attention and making him stop for a brief second, “Why are you doing this? After all I said and did to you yesterday, why are you being so nice?” At first he didn’t say anything -and if you had to guess, the corporal was debating in his head if he should say anything or not- but eventually he spoke up to answer your question, “Let’s just say I don’t like apologies.”

You then watched him leave, deciding to trust him that he wouldn’t bring anyone to confine you to a room once more and leaning against a nearby wall -it was only then that you really started to realise where you were. Currently, you were standing right outside the door to your office, the plaque that read, _(Y/N) (L/N), captain_ shining brightly with the help of the windows that decorated the hallway. It took you back to a simpler time, namely one that you could recall clearly despite it taking place a long while ago; one where Petra had stopped you from entering your room -after a long sleeping experiment on Chicacchironi and Albert- and had asked you if you had a crush on Hanji before asking you to join her and the rest of the Special Operations Squad for dinner, ‘ _She called it before I even realised that I had feelings for her, and yet she never even knew that we were dating before she… passed._ ’

It hurt, it truly did hurt constantly being reminded of them wherever you went, ‘ _And that’s partially why I have to do this, not only to avenge them, but to make myself feel better as well. I don’t know if it’ll really work, but I won’t back out. I_ can’t _back out._ ’

“(L/N),” Levi started, surprisingly already back from getting your gear -’ _Maybe I spaced out for longer than I originally thought._ ’- before holding it out to you easily with one hand, “Here, hurry and put it on in your room, then come with me.” You took it from his hand with a grateful nod of your head towards him, the previous hatred you told yourself you held for him dissipating as you regained your typically more peaceful character and rested the gear on the forearm of your bad hand, placing your hand on the brass knob of your door, “I- Thank you, Levi. But why, where are we going?”

“Well, you wanted to get to Stohess, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, Erwin’s waiting for me in a carriage that is set to take off in fifteen minutes and it’s heading straight for Stohess. Unless you plan on using your gear to somehow get there in time to watch everything go down or magically making another carriage appear out of thin air, I recommend you bustle to make that fifteen minute time limit.”

Your face broke out into a small smile, opening the door and stepping inside as you shook your head at the male, “You have a real weird way of being kind, asshole.”

“Just hurry up already, you ungrateful brat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated a little before 10 February, 2021!
> 
> Heya! Just dropping in to say that there is only one more chapter left before the last chapter, Chapter 40, is going to be published -although, there are going to be three OVAs released a week after Chapter 40 is published -and in a sense, two of them'll kinda serve as an epilogue. I kinda dread writing them because then that'll be the end of the story, ngl ^^'' Oh yeah, and the last chapter will be published at midnight, or about four hours from when I try to normally upload them, solely because I want to be able to say that the story finished on a Wednesday lmao, sorry about that >.<
> 
> Thank you for all of your support and comments, I promise that I'll get around to them -hopefully sometime relatively soon!! ^^''


	40. 40║Acceptance

**XXXXXXXX, XX XXX, 850, about 21 minutes left.**

⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺ **  
**

It was quiet, so much so that you swore the atmosphere in the slightly bumpy carriage was borderlining awkwardness -despite getting to know the other two people with you quite well over the past five or so years. The interior of your ride was a nice, tranquil red; the maroon colour appreciated but practically going unnoticed as it was trumped in splendour by the white, intricately woven curtains that lined the windows of the two doors.

Your eyes traced a particular thread, trying your best to follow it as it united with others nearby to form multiple flowers of various shapes and sizes -and every once in a while you found yourself wanting to bang your head against the carriage's wall when you lost track of it due to a bump in the stone road, said bump just enough to tear your hues away from your focus. For the past hour and fifteen minutes or so, you, Levi and Erwin had been mostly wordless as you rode into Stohess -save for the few formalities which were exchanged when you and the short corporal first joined the commander. Upon entering, you sat beside the carriage's right wall, across from Erwin and ultimately leaving Levi to choose the seat at your left or the one on Erwin's right -and in the end the ravenette sat himself next to you with a good thirty centimetres in between you both, the two of you facing towards the driver despite not being able to see them at all.

Forcing yourself to keep in a sigh, you found yourself more bored than nervous and anxious as you could possibly have been getting a one-way ticket straight to your death, ' _Y'know, it's been what, five years that I've been giving it my all to avoid dying? Eight if you include my days training as a cadet... and now that I could possibly be here, knocking on death's door, I don't even care?_ '

You bit your tongue to stop inappropriately snorting at the ironic thought, ' _The logical thing to say is that I'm in shock I suppose, but that might actually come to my advantage here if it gives me a level head when otherwise I’d be panicky and shaky._ ' Drifting your spheres over and out the window, you watched as many lively towns-people -all dressed in fancier clothing given that Stohess was in Wall Sina, the innermost and most economically stable of the three Walls- walked about on the sides of the roads; a woman walking with a parasol that twirled in her hand as it rested upon her shoulder, a man laughing to his son as he bent down and ruffled his hair, an older lady giving who looked to be her daughter a glare as the latter shook her head, the former seeming to be just about ready to pop a vein on her forehead at her daughter's blatant refusal to whatever she had said. It was lively, bright and cheery for the most part -and at the sight of it, a small piece of you longed to have such a life once more, ‘ _Not necessarily an aristocratic one, but just a normal civilian life -the old one I used to have._ ’

Yet, even though the picturesque, ideal display was practically within your reach, you knew that you could never attain it. You had chosen a soldiers life ever since the day you graduated from training -although if you were to be completely honest with yourself, it wasn't until you had gotten to know the Special Operations Squad that you knew for sure you couldn't leave; they were at first your superiors, then your comrades, then your friends, and then your family, ' _And it's because of people like them that I've given up everything I could have had -living a normal life with a loving spouse, in a nice place that we could call our own as we hid from the titans behind the Walls. Hell, in a perfect world, I would have met Hanji before we both joined and we could’ve settled down somewhere._ ' you thought, moving your orbs to the roofs of the buildings as you passed them, ' _Yeah no, that's not plausible anymore -if it ever really was._ ' The realisation didn't sadden you however, you just took it in as a fact that couldn't be helped -as if someone had simply mispronounced your name, or given you a smaller roll of bread in the Mess Hall- you truly found yourself unbothered by it and a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things.

Starting to feel a pair of eyes on you, you immediately recognised it coming from Commander Erwin -the male's cerulean hues fixed upon the gear that was fixtured to your hips as you managed to sit in the carriage seat, the 3DMG being slightly shifted from its normal position seeing as you weren't standing up in the open, but rather in a cramped and confined space resting on one of the carriage’s cushions. Staring right at his eyes as they looked over you, you waited for him to realise he had been noticed and only continued to maintain eye contact once the blonde man looked up to your (E/C) pools; it was almost as if they were trying to decipher your true intentions with that one demanding and inquisitive -yet forever knowing- feel about him that he always seemed to give off.

Then he let out a sigh as his vision dropped to the floor of the carriage, seeming to have concluded something in his head that you genuinely didn't feel like bothering to decode at the moment -uncertain if you would actually be able to given that he’s easily thrown you off-guard multiple times in the past, "The Military Police are going to stop this carriage before it reaches its destination." The tone in his voice held certainty and confidence, what he said was not a question or hypothesis but rather a statement without falsities, "If you want to see everything happen, you should leave before we get there."

At this you raised a brow, "Why? What did you do?" It didn't even pass your mind that he admitted he knew that you were planning on going to the scene where everything was to go down, or if it did, you didn't find yourself with enough care to pay it any attention -your mind and body was so relaxed that simple and pointless thoughts like those rolled in and out of your mind almost constantly since you had entered the carriage.

"I haven't handed over Eren yet."

"They wanted Eren? What for, what would the MPs do with him?"

"Nothing useful," Levi butted in, voice a scoff as you assumed he remembered all of the trouble that particular branch of the military had given the Survey Corps, "They'll just tear him apart."

"When Eren had first been discovered as a titan shifter,” Erwin started, “I had asked Zacharius for one expedition with him to prove that he could retake Wall Maria and that he’d be a valuable member of the Survey Corps in his court case; it was agreed upon that if Eren seemed capable of doing so, then we would keep him in our custody. While you were unconscious, he was deemed unable to do so based on the results of the 57th expedition, and it was decided that the Survey Corps would hand Eren over to the Military Police. Eren's currently with two other soldiers from the same Training Corps as him, the 104th, Armin Arlert and Mikasa Ackerman, to try and lure Annie Leonhardt into the Underground so Survey Corps members we have set up hiding all around the town can detain her -with another soldier acting as a decoy for Eren to buy them time. If we’re able to do so, not only will we take out a traitor amongst us, but we should also be able to keep Eren in our custody."

' _Ah,_ ' you realised, ' _Jaeger's the one who is leading Annie into the Underground. I didn't know that until just now, but now that I do, this makes a lot more sense -since Eren is helping humanity and Annie seems to want our destruction as much as the Colossal and Armoured Titans, it's only logical that Jaeger would act as bait to capture her -even if it’s risky._ '

Then once more it went silent, the quiet only interrupted by the clacking of the mostly-metal carriage on a stone brick road and the faint, muffled chatter of people who might be entering a titan-induced hell within a matter of minutes. The words Erwin had just spoken still weighed heavily within the air, and you felt that if you had put your hand out before you at that very moment, that perhaps you could truly feel the impact they held on the future of humanity -the true desperation that was playing behind the scenes.

"I'm not going out there to just watch."

The sudden words held a simplicity to them, and in any other context but the current one, they would possibly be rendered as insignificant -but here you were, abruptly telling your corporal and commander that you were planning on possibly interrupting their beautifully crafted framework for the perfect capture as their widened hues fell on you in surprise, "Or at least, I don't plan to if she's going to get away."

At seeing Erwin's unusual surprise -the man was always ten steps ahead of everyone else- you couldn't help but give him a quizzical look, "What? Don't tell me you hadn't put that together already."

"No, no, I knew you weren't going to just watch it from the start -you went through all of this trouble to get this far, why would you do that just to sit on top of a building here as opposed to a bed back in HQ? It’s not like you," he reasoned, his face regaining its typical look as a small smile of amusement graced his features, "It just took me by surprise at how directly you had admitted to it, I wasn't expecting you to at all."

"Oi, oi, oi," Levi interjected quickly, his hands slightly out in a warning gesture as he spoke and took in the new information you had revealed regarding your true motives, all while staring at the two of you with cautious, wide eyes, "How are the both of you so calm right now?" He focused his sight directly on you, "And what do you mean, you're not only going to watch?"

"Well, I need to make sure that everything goes smoothly; I can _not_ let Annie escape, after all. Not after what she’s done."

"You're going to get yourself killed if you even so much as _try_ to use your gear like that," he growled out in reason, glaring at you while gritting his teeth with an intensity that you hadn't expected from him -especially not so soon after his own form of an apology, "How are you going to stop her if she does anything? You couldn’t do that with both of your hands, what makes you think it’ll be any easier with one? You'll only be a _liability_!"

You could feel the commander's sight go back and forth the both of you, "Keep your tone down, Levi." Erwin added in, his voice stern as he advised the male to keep his voice on the lower side, "We need to keep quiet, especially with what you’re talking about." As you took in the words Levi had said, you couldn't bring yourself to become angry or upset at him for what he said, ' _After all, he isn't really that wrong. I might_ actually be _a liability out there with my bad hand, but... I can't give up -and I_ won't _let myself be a liability either._ '

And now that you had the chance and clear-conscious to, you could faintly sense a broken aura about him -you weren't sure if it was in the way he held himself, his facial expression, or purely the words he was saying; what you did know was that Levi was hurting over the loss of his squad just as much as you were, and if you had to guess, the thought of losing the last member of the original Special Operations Squad -when he could easily stop it from happening- was too much for him at the moment. "Levi, we've already had this conversation before, when you tried to stop me from going somewhere last time." you spoke gently, not wanting to upset him further, "I can fend for myself, I don't need protection." Your corporal didn't say anything, turning his head away as he let out a "Tch." and crossed his arms, all while sinking back into his seat -seeming to understand that your words were nothing but true, but not wanting to agree with them in any way, ' _He really is scared of losing the last member of his squad, isn't he? He doesn't want me to go, because if I die out there, so does the only other person besides him who honestly got to know them, who still holds dear and tender memories about them -his original squad.'_

It almost made you feel guilty for still planning on carrying out quite possibly your last objective -and yet you knew that backing out wasn't an option, ' _He'll be ok, I'm sure of it. If there’s someone I have to worry about, it’d be Hanji… but I suppose there’s no helping her possibly hurting if I die out here. Besides, the five of us will be replaced soon enough; because even if I live through this, there's no way I can properly fight titans anymore; Levi was right about that._ ' Trailing your vision down to your bandaged hand, you did your best attempt at smally wiggling your index and middle fingers with the gauze tightly wrapped on -a dull, throbbing pain emanating from it, ' _This is what I have to work with. It'll be a bitch trying to keep my grasp with it on, but I'm sure I can manage. I have to._ '

You stood up from the seat you had been resting in, readjusting your gear at your hips to sit upon them more comfortably and then proceeding to carefully make your way to the door next to Levi -you would have taken the exit closest to you, but decided against it once you saw how close to nearby buildings it was and how difficult it would be to take off with gear like that, "Hey, Commander Erwin?"

"Yes, (Y/N)?"

"If everyone else and I fail to stop her today, what are you going to do?"

His gaze was piercing as he answered, "I already have plans ready to come into action for that, with or without me in the Military Police’s hold. You needn’t worry about that."

"ᴼᶠ ᶜᵒᵘʳˢᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒ," you let out in a careless, soft laugh, a tiny smile tugging at your lips as you gratefully nodded your head at him, "I’ve got to get going, but I'll see you around. Be careful with the Military Police, eh?"

He gave his own nod of his head, an almost pitiful turn hinting at his lips as he turned his sight away from you -which in turn only caused you to focus your attention back on the ravenette after a few moments; he was still refusing to look at you. You put your healthy hand on the metal knob of the carriage door, turning it downwards slightly until you heard a click; you still held the door shut however, opting to speak to the man whose command you had practically served under for most of your military life first before leaving, "Don't blame yourself. They wouldn't want you to, and neither do I," you started, figuring that you might as well try to mend his issues the best you could before heading out, even with him still not looking at you. You knew he was listening however by the way he slightly flinched at your following words, "We're a family after all. ᵀʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ʷʰʸ ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰⁱˢ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠⁱʳˢᵗ ᵖˡᵃᶜᵉ."

You left a small moment for him to speak if he so wished -but it proved to be disregarded by the man as he didn't respond, still avoiding your stare as you recalled your attention back at the carriage door to leave with an inwards sigh, ' _If he doesn't want to speak right now, that's completely fine. What isn't fine however is me taking too long to get out of here, I need to leave soon before we inevitably are stopped by the MPs._ ’

Pushing the door forwards with more force than you thought you would have had to using your healthy hand, you placed your one foot to hold the door open as you got the handles to your blades in your hands -biting your lips to hold back a wince while you bent your two good fingers into the little slots that held the triggers, finding it difficult to hold but still managing to keep it within your grasp as you held it partially outside the carriage door and gave it an experimental shake, ' _This hurts quite a damn bit,'_ you admitted to yourself, ‘ _But there’s only so much time left before everything goes down, so I don’t really have a choice._ ’

Angling yourself in the best position to take off, you aimed your wires to shoot out upwards towards the roofs of the buildings and look in a deep breath, focusing your determined hues on where you planned on going, ' _Well, here goes nothing...'_ Taking a step back with your free foot -the other still preoccupied holding the door open- your fingers twitched on the triggers before you leapt yourself forwards the best you could outside the carriage, your stomach feeling the smallest bit queasy as you struggled to take off.

However, in paying so close attention to taking off properly, you failed to see the carriage that was passing by the opposite way right in front of you.

Narrowly missing it by mere centimetres with quick thinking and a puff of gas from your 3DMG, you flipped over its top -as gracefully as you possibly could, which wasn't very much- while giving a light laugh in return to the outcries you could hear the driver shout in surprise; you soon pushing down on the triggers to your gear adequately enough to propel yourself onto a rooftop that gave you the perfect view to watch as the carriage that Erwin and Levi were in disappearing from sight, ' _That might be the last time I see them, too._ ' For a second you just stood there, a gentle breeze brushing against your face with your grin from excitement fading as you continued staring until eventually, it vanished from sight, ' _I don't feel sad. I really don't anymore, ever since Levi helped me, I just... I just don't care. I mean, yeah, I care about the outcome of this whole ordeal, and I hope that Annie is captured and pays for what she did but... based on how I feel right now, if I end up dying here and she escapes, I don't think I'll be that bothered by it._ '

Shrugging it off the best you could, you looked around you and spotted the entrance to Wall Sina from Wall Rose -using the entrance as a landmark to help you find Stohess' staircase to the Underground, knowing very well that it was further in the district just from your positioning- and gripped your palm onto your gear, contemplating over taking your bandages off to get a better hold onto your handles. In the end however, you ultimately decided to leave them on, ' _Even if it does give me a slightly more slippery grip, I'm sure that with how securely they're wrapped on that it's partially numbing the pain I would feel otherwise. Not to say that it doesn't hurt now, but I don't want to think about how much more painful it would be trying to do this without that extra covering._ ' Shaking your head to focus back to the task at hand -and relish in the possible last moments you'd ever use 3DM gear for the rest of your life- you started to run the best you could manage on the rooftops, jumping to and fro every now and then as you seemed to slowly close the distance between you and where you believed the entrance to the Underground to be, ' _I need to make sure that I don't run into Hanji either, I doubt she would let me continue through with this if she got a chance to stop it -besides, I'd feel like shit given that I'd have to admit to lying to her. Oh, the Walls! Focus (Y/N), focus!_ '

Using your conversation with yourself to fuel you further, you pushed yourself to go faster as your feet pounded on the shingles of the houses; and not even a minute later the place where you were headed came into view -and you had surprisingly not ran into Hanji at all, ' _That was surprisingly easy. If I'm to be honest, I kinda thought that there was going to be more of a challenge avoiding her for now.'_

You squinted your eyes upon already seeing people there, all while you laid down and peeked over the middle ridge of the roof -as to not be seen by them should they turn around. There, not too far from you, were three hooded figures -' _They must be the 104th cadets,_ '- and a blonde -' _And she must be Annie Leonhardt._ '- from the Military Police if her patch on the back of her uniform was correct, mere metres before coming to the stairs to the Underground. You made sure to progress silently as you moved to a closer rooftop, not wanting to alert any of them of your presence, ' _Although I guess it doesn't really matter if those three see me, as long as they don't give me away._ ' As you did eventually get to a rooftop that overlooked everything however, Eren, Mikasa and Armin were already starting to step their way down -leaving Annie behind at the top of the steps as they feigned ignorance as to why she wouldn't want to go with them, "ᶜ'ᵐᵒⁿ ᴬⁿⁿⁱᵉ, ᵖᵉᵒᵖˡᵉ ʷⁱˡˡ ⁿᵒᵗⁱᶜᵉ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ʲᵘˢᵗ ˢᵗᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ." came the faint voice of Eren, the teen's tone falling into a falsely casual tone as he played along with his role.

"ᴺᵒ," she spoke, body tensed and stilled as she looked down at them, "ᴵ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒ ᵈᵒʷⁿ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ."

It was as if everyone understood what was truly going on at that moment -that all four of them knew the whole goal of the charade was to capture the teenage girl- and yet not one of them addressed it, preferring to live in a temporary fantasy world where everything was as simple and plain as it seemed on the surface. And despite it all, you found yourself unable to blame them for it.

Eren only spoke up once more after a second, this time going up a stair from his placement about halfway through as he gestured his hands outwards, "ᵂʰᵃᵗ, ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᶜᵃʳᵉᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵃʳᵏ?”

"ʸᵉˢ, ᴵ ᵃᵐ." she said solidly, body loosening up a little as she went with the excuse, "ᴵ'ᵐ ᵃ ˢᶜᵃʳᵉᵈ ˡᶦᵗᵗˡᵉ ᵍᶦʳˡ, ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵃʳᵏ ᵗᵉʳʳᶦᶠᶦᵉˢ ᵐᵉ."

' _Yeah right,'_ you thought to yourself, having to hold back a scoff in case shifting abilities also gave you some kind of hearing perk that you weren't aware of, ' _Maybe the dark things that you've done, you psychotic, murderous bitch._ '

“ˢᵗᵒᵖ ᵖˡᵃʸⁱⁿᵍ ᵃʳᵒᵘⁿᵈ ᴬⁿⁿⁱᵉ, ᵗʰⁱˢ ⁱˢⁿ’ᵗ ᶠᵘⁿⁿʸ!”

Almost wincing from the hurt in the brunette’s voice, you discreetly looked from your positioning to see if you could find the other Survey Corps soldiers who were set in place to stop her should she try to transform -only to have your eyes widen as you found them, seeing them hiding behind nearby crates, shrubbery and walls in civilian clothes, 'I _hadn't even thought of having them out of uniform, but I'm sure it was one of the first things that came to mind for you, huh Erwin? Having them blend in with the crowd; it's smart, but not unexpected from you._ '

" _Hahahaha!_ "

It was sudden, the laughter sounding almost as if it came from a girl who was having the time of her life -and it was only after a few minute moments passed that you realised that it came from the exact opposite, the sound sourcing itself from a broken girl who was bent over to her knees and losing it instead as she continued to giggle, "ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉⁿ'ᵗ ⁿᵒᵗⁱᶜᵉᵈ ʰᵒʷ ˡⁱᵗᵗˡᵉ ᵖᵉᵒᵖˡᵉ ᵃʳᵉ ʰᵉʳᵉ?" You grit your teeth as she blatantly said this; however, you felt a jolt of adrenaline course through you when you noticed her right hand move about momentarily -a small shimmer of some kind of grey metal flashing into your darkened, furious hues for a second as she shouted out, "ᵂᵉˡˡ ᵗʰⁱˢ ⁱˢ ʷʰᵉʳᵉ ᵐʸ ᵇᵉᵗ ᵇᵉᵍⁱⁿˢ!"

' _Is that a pocket knife of sorts? Shit, she's gonna cut her hand, isn't she?! You bitch, I won't let more people die at your hands!_ '

You quietly and quickly rushed into action as you felt yourself become enraged again, not being able to help the emotions resonating within your core as your legs pushed yourself off of the roof with faint clicks, shooting out one wire of your gear and using it to swing yourself at her back with a makeshift, spontaneous plan in mind. As you expected, Annie took note of your incoming and quickly turned around towards you -however, you were heading right for her faster that she seemed to have expected you to based on the way her unforgettable, icy blue hues went wide, ' _They're just like the Female Titan's_.' By the time that she had just about managed to do that, you aimed your currently unused wire and directed it at her chest -hoping to have the anchor sink into her flesh to either shock or distract her- and shot if off, the girl leaning to the side and barely missing the beam that would have most likely shot right through and into the cobblestone behind her due to your close proximity. At the same time though, you used your other blade to aim at her right arm and sever it off near the elbow -far in enough to ensure that you should cut it clean off and that it shouldn't trigger her shifting abilities -just incase the wound to transform a shifter into their titan form didn't have to be self-inflicted.

_Slice._

_Thud._

_Slam._

The platinum blonde was unable to avoid your sharpened edge as it tore straight through her forearm, you soon crashing into her and holding a blade at her neck as you toppled her over onto the ground and sat on her stomach, pinning her left hand -that was balled into a tight fist- down to the ground to make sure that she wouldn't try anything clever as you called out for the people who had been hiding and ready to jump out, "Get out here, I've got this bitch pinned!"

Hurried footsteps fell to the floor as she struggled -probably knowing that your goal wasn't to kill her but capture her based on the fact that you hadn't already- the disguised soldiers nearing and soon enough allowing for you to stand up as they took the role in holding her down -albeit much more effectively than you had, given that they had more numbers and more able-bodied soldiers.

With almost a breathless laugh, you stood up and took a step back while putting your blades back in their homes at the sides of your hips, eying the scene that played out before you as Annie continued to kick and fight, but to no avail, "Captain (Y/N)!"

Looking up, your eyes quickly found the soldier who was addressing you, getting closer as they leaned in your ear to whisper, "ˢʰᵒᵘˡᵈ ᴵ ᵍᵒ ᵗᵉˡˡ ˢᵉᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵃⁿᵈᵉʳ ᴴᵃⁿʲⁱ ᵗᵒ ᵈⁱˢᵃʳᵐ ʰᵉʳ ᵗʳᵃᵖˢ?"

You shook your head, "ᴺᵒᵗ ʸᵉᵗ. ᵂᵃⁱᵗ ᵘⁿᵗⁱˡ ˢʰᵉ'ˢ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉˡʸ ⁱⁿ ᵒᵘʳ ᶜᵘˢᵗᵒᵈʸ." you reasoned, figuring that on the odd chance that Annie broke out free that there would still be that as a defence -not to mention that you technically weren't in charge of this operation, so neither did you have the authority to tell them to do that, "Please do make sure she gets fully restrained though, don't leave her a single chance of getting free."

"Yes, miss!"

You let out a sigh as relief washed over your body, soon remembering that the three teens who had lured her here were still there as you glanced down the stairway, taking a step closer until you made your way down about a stair, "ᴵ ᵍᵉⁿᵘⁱⁿᵉˡʸ ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ʷᵃˢ ᵍᵒⁿⁿᵃ ᵈⁱᵉ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ," you let out admittedly in a breath -mainly to Eren seeing as he was the only one there that you were truly acquainted with, but sparing the other two a glance as well, "You guys are all ok, right?"

The blonde male, Armin, let out a meek, "Y-Yes." -a disturbed look about him as he responded with huge eyes- the taller ravenette, Mikasa, let out a hum as her features remained mostly blank, and the boy you knew looked mildly perturbed as he gave you a verbal answer, a small bead of sweat upon his forehead, "I think so, captain."

"Good, good, that's good." A smile broke out on your face, ' _She's been captured, and with no casualties at that! I don't think that this could've gone any better,_ ' you thought to yourself, your more optimistic side coming back into the light as you felt a huge burden being lifted from your shoulders, ' _I've avenged them, and even if I can't fight titans anymore, I know that there resting easily up there. I'm just sorry that I can't do any more than this, Eld, Gunther, Petra and Oluo. I promise I'll live the rest of my life the best I can for you guys.'_ You shook your head to yourself smally, turning your eyes to the sky for a second as you addressed them further, ' _I had already given up before the battle had truly started, that's why I hadn't cared if I died before. Well here's a promise, from now on guys, I won't ever give up before I even start fighting again, you can trust me on that! I won't die in vain!_ '

Looking at your hand smally, you gently flexed your remaining fingers to see how the appendage was holding up, and only scrunching up your face in pain as you held back a grumble, ' _Ok, so it still hurts like all hell. I don't even know how I just managed to do what I just did, I guess some sort of benefit of adrenaline or something._ '

"Captain?" came an inquisitive voice, and pointing your (E/C) eyes in the direction where it originated from only told you that Armin was speaking up, his deep sapphire spheres directed at your partially scraped up and bandaged hand, "If you don't mind me asking..." he spoke with a pause, only continuing when you gave him a consenting nod, "Why did Erwin force you out on the field with such an injury?" You could tell that the young adult was thrown off-guard by your injury, sure that he could tell that you were missing part of your hand through the cloth that covered your damaged hand thoroughly as you had when you first saw it, "He didn't Armin," you replied, missing the way he looked temporarily surprised at you having known his name, "I came out here on my own accord."

"Why would you..." he trailed off, most likely trying to formulate a reason in his head that would make sense.

"Personal reasons. Besides, I couldn't let her hurt anyone else." you peered your head back to where the girl was still being held to the ground -although now she was partially further from the entrance, you guessed that it was done on purpose so then the four of you could exit the entrance to the Underground more easily- the main difference being that this time, there were people who were starting to tie her up in a thick rope. Her right arm was steaming -a sure-fire sign that she was indeed a titan shifter for those that had any doubts- moving about every now and then as the blonde grit her teeth -and whether or not it was in pain or due to her struggle, you weren't sure, "Erwin allowed it anyway, so I'm not-"

Your breath hitched in your throat and cut off the words you planned to say suddenly as your orbs fell upon her left hand, a cold sweat drenching itself across your body as a whole as you froze momentarily.

Her nails worked at her now reddened flesh, with the clear goal of breaking the skin as no one restraining her took note or thought anything of the action, "Eren, get back!" you yelled out as you lunged yourself at Annie to stop her desperately, already imagining in your head all of the terrible outcomes that could happen from the single mistake, "Restrain her hand! _NOW!_ "

Everything seemed to go in slow motion as you realised that you wouldn't make it in time, your face growing horrified as you still tried your best to reach her before anything happened.

"Capt-!" "Mikasa, wha-?!" "Hurr-!"

**_𝘽𝙊𝙊𝙈._ **

Your entire world went from an engulfing bright white and oranged amber that could only come from a shifter to an overpowering and complete shade of black as you tumbled across the ground on your side, slamming your back into a wall from the force of the transformation as you were flung away from the shifting girl at speeds faster than you ever remembered going before.

⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺

Everything had turned to chaos in a matter of seconds.

A faint pounding came from somewhere that couldn't be pinpointed among a strong, almost head-splitting ringing -and the familiar scent of blood in the air was able to be sensed everywhere, the putrid smell easily recognisable but not as easily forgotten. In a haze, you slowly blinked open your eyes only to quickly shut them once more when the bright light of the sun shone upon your face. You grunted as you tried to move your body, the only thing that you could manage at the moment being your arms as you did your best to at least rest upon your elbows. Barely managing, you almost wanted to cry at the painful throb that wracked your body -it felt almost as if you were in the middle of a terrible fever, the aching never ceasing as your body let out violent coughs that you futilely tried to cover with your good hand, an ironed tasted stinging in your mouth. You couldn't think straight, your mind was a muddled and incoherent mess that was just begging for the pain to stop surging throughout your body.

Fighting to open your eyes, you could barely see anything as you brought your palm to your vision, dread rolling through you when you took note of the patches of red that decorated it, ' _The Walls... What's... What's going on?_ '

Throughout the neverending ringing that fell on your ears, you could hear a shrill voice frantically call out -the words sounding as if the person speaking them were underwater, "ᴱʳᵉⁿ! ᴱʳᵉⁿ, ʸᵒᵘ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵘᵖ!"

' _Who is... that?_ '

Then it all came to you at once, what was happening; Annie becoming restrained, the three soldiers from the 104th, Annie transforming. You could barely force yourself to control your body as you tried to sit up, your legs uncooperative as you managed to lean yourself against the stone wall that your body had previously been flung into, ' _I... I can't give up now...! Not when we're so close...!_ ' Your thoughts were barely heard by yourself as you willed your legs to start the process of standing up -however, when you did your best to do so, they remained motionless.

At first it confused you, your dizzy head not helping while you continued to make attempts at standing up before it hit you, the harsh reality setting a darkened outlook ahead for your future, ' _Wait, am I… paralyzed…? I can't move..._ ' And now that you had figured that out, and started to pay more attention to your body, you realised that you couldn't feel your legs at all, the lower appendages completely numb and void of feeling as they remained uselessly attached to your body.

More coughs shook you entirely and almost caused you to fall over, this time more red painting your clothes as you couldn't bring yourself to move your head or arms elsewhere, not seeing the point in putting yourself through more pain to simply just avoid staining your clothes.

Your head went fuzzy, a faint numbness that only grew stronger taking over as black spots started to dance across your visible world, the last thing you heard before you blacked out being someone calling out for your name, "(Y/N)!"

⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺

This time as you blinked your eyes open, a small sobbing could be heard.

You were laying on your back now, face pointing towards the sky as you tried to figure out where the sound was coming from -only to halt your search when it fell upon a familiar cinnamon haired brunette, "ᴴ⁻ᴴᵃⁿ⁻...!" you cut yourself off with a violent cough that your body instinctively tensed up at, your head turning towards the ground and you were faintly able to feel a liquid dribble down your chin through the pounding that reverberated in your skull -and had you not been so focused on your pain at the moment, you would have wondered if what had trailed out of your mouth had been merely spit, or a rich, crimson blood that was sure to splatter to the ground.

"(Y-Y/N)..." she stuttered out at first, "Oh thank the Walls! I tried giving you CPR when I saw that your heart wasn't beating, but I thought it hadn't worked!" You couldn't bring yourself to actually listen to her words, the pain the louder speech gave to you too much to handle at the moment as your features scrunched up in pain.

"ˢᵒʳʳʸ!" she squeaked, this time quieter, her voice slightly cracking as she regarded you, "ᵂʰᵉʳᵉ'ʳᵉ ʸ⁻ʸᵒᵘ ʰᵘʳᵗⁱⁿᵍ? ᵂʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ʷʳᵒⁿᵍ?" The questions came out too fast for you to understand, the words seeming to be a jumbled mess as they remained akin to a foreign code to you comprehension-wise. Guessing at what she had said, you forced yourself to speak through lidded hues, "ᴵ'ᵐᵐᵐᵐ... ᴵ'ᵐ ᶠⁱⁿⁿⁿⁿᵉ..." She then opened her mouth once more to try and communicate with you, but once again you couldn't understand her or make out what she was saying by the quick, frantic movements her mouth made, ' _Why is this... world so cruel...? I just wanna be with Han... ji._ '

The girl, who you had temporarily been distracted from, slid her one arm under your head and her other under you non-feeling legs -yet despite the carefulness she displayed as she attempted to pick you up, she immediately stopped as you started to let out sharp whimpers and whines of pain that you tried your best to keep in but to no avail; it was too much for you in the moment.

You could only stare at her throughout it all as she put you back down gently, taking in every detail you could manage while she spoke words that you couldn't quite understand; her shiny, honey hues that you loved so much pouring out tears on her cheeks, the liquid trailing down to her jawline and falling off her chin as you saw her try her best to give you a reassuring look through her lashes. Her hair was wind-whipped almost, looking as if she had been in a rush recently, everywhere except for where her goggles had been, the pair of lenses currently sitting upon her head in a way that would allow for her to be comfortable as she tended to you. The light from above shone down on her at an angle that made her almost glow in your eyes, and it was at that moment that you swore the being you saw before you was an angel, free from any and all imperfections as she tried her best to help you -and it seemed as if whatever the girl was doing was working, given that the pain you had previously been in slowly tapered off into a complete numbness that started to overtake you, leaving you in a confused yet somewhat peaceful state.

And you weren't completely sure why, but in that moment you had the urge to speak to the girl and tell her something one last time -and this time it really would be the last, deep down you knew that there would be no more do-overs, "ᴴᵃⁿⁿⁿⁿʲⁱⁱ...?"

She immediately took your good hand in both of hers, holding it tightly to her chest as she nodded her head at you and practically begged you to speak with those watery spheres of hers -the same ones that typically shone bright with curiosity and dedication that always managed to make your heart soar, "Yes (Y/N)? What is it?"

"ᴵ ˡᵒᵒᵒ... ˡᵒᵛᵛᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘᵘᵘᵘ...." Every time your speech stuttered it was caused by the sudden numbness that flashed throughout your head, the extra thought and work that was being put into talking almost too much for you at the moment. It felt as if you were simply tired and trying not to fall asleep after a long day of titan experimentation -and even though you very well knew that that wasn't what was happening, you couldn't help the way your mind briefly flashed you back to one night a few months ago when you had accidentally fallen asleep coming up with experiments to test on Chicacchironi and Albert, and how the brunette you were with helped you in finishing the task; it was only moments after that that she had told you about the free-range experimentation that you both would soon be doing, where many more sweet memories with her would be made.

The ringing that had been playing in your ears started to dull out, but so did all other sounds as you tried to listen in to her words that followed yours, your hues trailing to her mouth as you tried to read the words they signed to you, "I love you too (Y/N). I love you so, s-so much."

She leaned down to kiss you, her lips soft as they tried their best to convey the emotion she felt at that very second as you weakly reciprocated a similar movement, your lips moulding in a faible manner against hers as you tried to pull your thoughts together, ' _This is it, isn't it...?_ ' It was slow, but soon enough even your lips started to become difficult to move, as was the continuous, never-ending cycle of breathing that you had done for most of your life without a second thought, ' _I'm going to miss you the most of all, Hanji. Sorry, but... I can't stay here much lon... ger. Maybe in another... world, another time, I could've... prevented this._ '

Hanji pulled back her lips from yours, giving you the strongest grin she could muster before she wrapped her arms around you, her body shaking softly as she cried into your shoulder. The sweet scent that she always carried about her filled your senses as you otherwise became oblivious to the world around you -and yet, at the same time you could feel countless pairs of eyes upon you. Slowly, figures of people seemed to come into sight, each darkened outline different and tailored to a particular person that soon became more defined and coloured in. Your hues fell upon the smiling faces of your old squad, each one giving you a welcoming smile as they greeted you, "(Y/N), I'm so glad to see you again, _bestie_!" -Gunther smiled as he sent you a bright grin, using the nickname you had called him by countless times- "It's about time..." -Oluo grumbled as he crossed his arms, a small curve of his lips able to be seen that he tried his best to hide- "I thought you weren't coming for a while there, dumb-dumb." -Eld teased, flashing his pearly whites towards you happily as you remained on the ground- "We're all together again, how nice!" -Petra rejoiced, clapping her hands together as she grinned brightly, jumping slightly in her place in excitement. A minuscule, upwards turn applied itself to your own lips as they all spoke, their voices for some reason heard without a problem in your otherwise noiseless world as you wanted to try to speak to them, but found yourself unable to do so. With a blanket of a peaceful fatigue settling over you as you studied each one of them, your eyes even briefly fell on the hundreds of others you noticed behind them; you faintly knew each one of them, their names coming to mind as you took in each one of their faces and returned the warm sourire they sent your way when you acknowledged them in an upwards, kind and unmoving stare.

Hanji only sobbed harder, clutching a fistful of your shirt closer to her and weakly calling out your name with thick, hot tears cascading down her devastated features; for it was now that you stared at the sky and cotton balls of clouds above unresponsively with a blank stare, your completely stilled chest never to move again on its own accord.

You were free now -all you had to do was wait for Hanji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 17 February, 2021!
> 
> So, uh, have I ever told you guys I like angst?
> 
> ... 🤡
> 
> Nah, but for real though I'm kinda stunned that this whole thing is over. I mean, I knew that it was coming it's just... I don't think I've really processed that I don't have to write 4,000 words a week for this story anymore. And it's kinda hard to just take a break from it right now to get my head on all straight, because -and don't @ me for this lmao- I literally have a markered line on my one hand and everytime I look at it, I remember IJ, but also, I can't bring myself to let it fade just yet -I used it to remember where I imagined the reader's hand got cut off mdr I'm so extra 💀((and did I ever tell y'all that I scarred myself looking up hand injuries as well on google? There's some scary shit out there man 😭))
> 
> Anyways, y'all ain't here to get sappy -not while Hanji's not here at least lmao 💀- or hear the entire process as to how I wrote this, I suppose the real point of this Author's Note is to inform you that yes, this is the last chapter and no, there will be no sequel to IJ. If you were only here for the direct story line, then feel free to head out -I sincerely thank you for taking the time to read this mess of a fanfic, and I genuinely wish you all to have the best life possible ((God, it feels like I'm writing a will or something, istg I got too attached to this silly little thing lmao)) If you want a little bit more, than I'm here to inform you that there will be three more OVAs ((at least 1,000 words each)) published before February 25th, 2021 -one posted on Saturday, another on Monday, and the very last one on Wednesday. ((Also, I just wanna mention that some of the OVAs actually have a set date that you can figure out if you pay close attention to smaller details -I know there's at least two lmao, the others just have a gneral time frame because once again, I'm extra 😭))
> 
> I am going to do a full edit of this story and fix any lingering typos and such -and quite possiblely add some more details, because y'know, 214,324 words just isn't enough- I just need a quick break from IJ before I do that ^^''
> 
> Argh, this is so difficult! Lmao, there's so many smaller things I wanna share but there's really no pint in listing them all haha ^^''
> 
> Now, I know that some of you might be looking for Hanji content, and I also know that quite a few of my readers are writing Hanji x Reader fanfics of their own -so to anyone that would like to, I highly encourage that you advertise your work -story or one shot- below in the comments ^^''
> 
> I would also like to give you guys a chance to ask me any questions that you many have regarding the story ((if anything was ever confusing and needs clarafication, or even something else, anything is fair lmao)) I'll definitely answer questions that are commented before February 25th, 2021, and I'll do my best to answer any asked after that -my replies may just be significantly delayed.
> 
> It's been a real pleasure writing this story and getting to know you guys. I think I'm actually going to cry, it feels like I'm saying goodbye forever to someone I got to know well -I'm really kicking myself for that ending rn smh 😭
> 
> I love you guys, and I wish you the best in life. Remember, you can achieve great things -don't you dare give up. 💜


	41. OVA 1║Hidden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first of (I believe) 9 oneshots! I've decided to name them OVA's because 1. I think that's really cool and 2. It will allow me to write out moments I wanted to have in the story and still have it in a way where it is "cannon" to my story (feels weird writing that, but you know what I mean haha).
> 
> What I think I might end up doing is have the OVAs at the end of all the chapters then, so then once someone were to finish reading my story (once it's all finished) then they could read more if they really wanted to.
> 
> I hope you guy's enjoy! I will be back to posting regular chapters the 14th of October, 2020!

**XXXXXXXX, XX XXXX, XXX at 11:23**

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A frantic knock was being placed on your door, and you swore if you strained your ears enough, you could hear someone trying to whisper-yell through the door. You couldn't quite place who the voice belonged to, it clearly wasn't coming from a cadet, as none of them would dare knock on your door like that, even if you were only a captain -quite often you found it amusing how the majority of them spoke to you like you were a higher up. But if it wasn't from a cadet, who could it be from? There wasn't any reason for anyone else to be at your door after all. Before you could think it over too much however, the door burst open as the person behind it quickly opened the door and slammed it shut, back pushing against it as they gave you an awkward smile, "Oh, hi there (Y/N)! Funny seeing you here, huh?"

"Hanji, what are you doing here?" you skipped the formalities and went straight to business with the brunette. It wasn't to say that you were mad at the soldier, no, it was actually the opposite; you we're glad to see her whenever you got the chance. You just knew better than to assume she had stopped by -especially the way she had- just to say hello.

"Ok, look, I know I said that I wasn't going to take Eren for testing, but I saw an opp-"

You cut her off, face palming as you quickly put two and two together, "Hanji, you're telling me you tried to steal Eren from Levi?"

She relaxed herself a little as she leaned away from the door, allowing for her arms to gesture about around her as she tried to defend herself, "I wouldn't call it _stealing_ , I fully planned to give him back after all."

"That doesn't make it any better!"

"But I really wanted to see if Eren would throw up one of those spit balls if he ate too much!"

You quirked a brow at the woman, about to ask her what in the world she was talking about when all the sudden, in the distance, you could hear a voice call out, "HANJI!" The section commander visibly paled as her name was called out, and her face became pleading soon after, "Please, hide me! I promise I'll be out of your hair as soon as possible!" Desperately wanting to roll your eyes at the woman, you shook off the urge and quickly thought of the best -and honestly, only- hiding place in your office/living space setup you were living in. Your bedroom. You pointed a finger at the door and ushered the lady over, taking her place at the door as you braced yourself for possibly having to talk Hanji out of any trouble she might have been in.

Footsteps soon stomped closer to your door, getting louder as they neared the wooden barrier you stood behind. You could hear a deep voice mutter, "I swear to God shitty glasses is going to get it this time." and you could only assume it was Levi given the circumstances. It wasn't much longer that the voice spoke up again, only this time it was louder in volume -although you couldn't decipher if it was because the grumpy Corporal had increased the volume of his voice or if it was simply because he was now closer, "(Y/N)," _knock knock_ , "Open up."

You took a step away from the door and took a breath, trying to give yourself a brief mental pep talk before you made your face as neutral as you possibly could, and opened the door, “Levi? Why so serious?” He didn’t answer you but instead just pushed right past you, making you stumble back a step as you caught yourself, “Hey! That’s kinda _rude_ , y’know.” Folding your arms, you tried not to warily look at the way how -as he was scanning around the room- he had gotten closer to your bedroom door, ‘ _Shit, if he finds Hanji in there, I’m screwed!_ ’

“Where’s Hanji?” his voice was sharp and to the point, and did its job well piercing the desired fear into your heart. Despite your rising nerves though, you did your best to conceal a gulp and answered his question, “Probably in her room.” He didn’t say anything else as he continued to look around, although this time his eyes locked onto your bedroom door, “Did she do something?” You had asked, trying to keep his eyes off the wooden frame. In the end however, your attempts were futile as the short ravenette simply walked up to the door and pulled it open, “No, wait!”

The man walked into the room -not before shooting you an inquisitive gaze- and you found yourself hesitating before walking any further into the room, ‘ _I suppose I could try to start running now, but that would leave Hanji all by herself! I can’t do that, even if Hanji is the whole reason this started!_ ’ When you got there however, the both of you were greeted with an empty room -albeit messy- and nothing in there pointed to the fact that Hanji had been in there the moment prior, ‘ _At least I’m pretty sure she went in here, right…?_ ’ The ever-so-strict corporal took a quick look under your bed, and then in your closet -which you had to bite your tongue not to yell “ _Pervert!_ ” at him- before he let out a heavy sigh.

He turned to you and looked as if he was about to say something, but he stopped himself before he could say anything and turned towards your door that led out into the hallway. When he started to storm out of the room, you could only do a double take at everything that had just happened, hearing a slam of a door confirming that he had in fact left soon after, ‘ _Ok, so Levi just ransacked my bedroom and Hanji has actually disappeared out of thin air…_ ’

For a second you found it plausible that it had all just been a dream, but when you pinched your arm you found yourself still grounded, “What just happened…?”

Looking around your room, you tried to figure out where the girl had gone, ‘ _Certainly she didn’t learn how to teleport since the last time I saw her, so just where is she?_ ’ Just like the corporal had, you checked under your bed and in the closet once more, this time even checking behind the bedroom door as well just to make sure the section commander hadn’t thought of that. She didn’t manage to hide under your blankets, your dresser remained untouched. In fact, there was no sign that she had ever been in the room to begin with.

With a sigh you went to your opened window and observed the clouds, palms on the window frame in a deep, pensive thought, ‘ _Everywhere I check, she isn’t there. There’s no possible way she snuck out past the corporal and I, because the bedroom door we entered through is the only exit of the room._ ’

Pulling away, you went to close the window -as it was a little chilly out this fall day, when you suddenly stopped, ‘ _Wait, when did I open my window? I could’ve sworn that I-... Oh._ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 19 September, 2020!


	42. OVA 2║Stuffie

**XXXXXXXX, XX XXXX, XXX at 16:21**

**\----------------------------------------------------------**

You had to blink your eyes once or twice to ensure that it was _actually_ done. It had been a complete pain in your ass, but now that you held the finished project in your hands, you couldn’t help but smile down at it. Without taking your eyes off of your titan stuffie that you had managed to carefully stitch together, you put down the needle you had used on a nearby surface, namely the table that you were currently sitting at. The stuffie had pale skin, like the majority of titans, unruly dark brown yarn for hair, and yellow buttons in the place of eyes. Lightly pressing down on it’s stomach with both thumbs, your smile brightened when the stitches that ran along its side bore the weight, barely bulging at the applied pressure.

One may ask, why did you make such a thing? Wouldn’t any animal have been better, a dog, cat, horse, honestly anything _other_ than the living nightmare that the titans were? Well, if someone had actually asked you that -which no one had, after all, you had managed to keep this a complete and total secret from everyone- you would have told them that you had made this for Section Commander Hanji, or perhaps you would have called her Hanji as you had already long grown accustomed to calling the crazy titan-enthusiast by that. Regardless, you indeed spent quite a bit of your free time trying to perfect the stuffie, as a way to thank Hanji for getting you into the titan-testing business. Looking down at your creation once more, you brushed its hair aside a little so it was no longer covering it’s faux golden hues, ‘ _I really hope that she can tell he’s supposed to be Leslie, I tried to create him as accurately as possible, but you never know. I suppose that worst comes to worst I could always just tell her. The real question comes down to, should I or shouldn’t I try to wrap him?_ ’

After a momentary pause in ponder, you ultimately decided upon simply putting a nice ribbon tied in a bow around its neck, where it could serve as some sort of decoration should Hanji wish to keep the bow on the stuffie. Going over to your one desk drawer and opening it, you noticed that you only had some (F/C) coloured ribbon remaining, and without another choice, you wasted no time in cutting what you deemed an adequate amount before heading back over to your finished product. The lacy material was something you only used for more formal occasions -given that it had been so expensive to buy your almost depleted supply- but you argued with yourself that this gift was good enough reason.

The tied bow you eventually settled with was a little lopsided, but you figured that this was about the best you were going to get and that you were better off settling for how this last one had turned out, ‘ _Honestly, my first attempt was probably the best one, I was just too picky to be content with it._ ’ Without anything more to do, you carefully placed the gift in the crook of your arm so that it rested against your body and was partially hidden in your jacket the best you could, before heading out the door and towards the section commander’s room. The way to her door came naturally, the combination of having gone there countless times before and not being too far away only leading you as you neared your destination. It was only when you got to said door however, that it came to you that the woman might not even be in her room, off doing other tasks that you couldn’t and wouldn’t fully comprehend -seeing as you were only a captain and not a section commander.

You came to the decision that it wouldn’t hurt to try, and that if your friend was in there and busy she would ask you to talk to you another time. So without any further objections that popped in your mind, you lifted your free arm and hit your knuckles against the wooden barrier a few times.

_Knock knock knock._

To your utter surprise, as soon as your knocks sounded there was movement in Hanji’s room, first paper shuffling, then footsteps and creaky floorboards, then finally a shout yelling, “Come in!” You could feel your smile grow a little more as you allowed yourself into the room, trying to keep the handmade plush out of Hanji’s view as you entered and greeted her, “Heya Hanji, I hope this isn’t a bad time.”

She shuffled once more with a few papers on her desk, then taking a few steps to the one table that had a seemingly endless and orderless pile of papers atop it -and based on the fact that at that table one of the chairs was pulled out, you could only assume that she had been sitting there prior to when you had knocked on the door, “Nah, nah, you’re fine! So what’s going on? Not that I mind you coming over or anything, it just seems like there’s a purpose to this visit.” she said as she half paid attention, focusing most of her attention still on the multiple documents before her. All the sudden you felt slightly guilty at the idea of bothering the section commander when she was possibly busy, hesitating for a moment if you should make a reason up or actually give Hanji her present. You were robbed of the choice however when Hanji’s eyes looked up at yours, eyebrows slightly scrunched in concern at your lack of response, “Is everything ok (Y/N)?”

“Oh! Uh, yeah, I just wanted to uh, to give you something.”

It was only then that Hanji’s eyes looked to your hands and noticed you hiding something under your jacket, the woman standing up and walking a little closer to you with curiosity, “Hm? What is it?”

Slightly smiling at her inquiry, you brought the stuffie out from underneath your jacket and held it out to her, making sure to avoid eye contact as you suddenly felt self conscious about your gift, ‘ _What if she thinks this is weird? What if by doing this I am losing my chance at being her friend anymore?!_ ’

“...Is that Leslie…?” the brunette asked in a calm voice, eyes scanning over the gift as she took in each and every detail.

“It’s supposed to be… I know it doesn’t exactly-”

“THE WALLS I LOVE HIM!!!!”

You felt fake Leslie be ripped out of your hands as the girl hugged it to her chest tightly, spinning in circles and overall just doing some weird dances with it as she knew of no other way to express her happiness. Letting out a sigh of relief, your lips curved into a pleased smile at her reaction.

“How long did it take you to make this?” she asked once she finally calmed down a little, somehow not dizzy after doing circles with her new toy _cough cough_ present.

“That doesn’t really matter, I’m just glad you seem to like it.”

“And the detail in the body! You just about got the approximates of the ratios of a titan’s body down to a T!”

From that day on, whenever you saw Hanji go into her room -never to sleep, the woman was a self-made insomniac- you always saw a shiney (F/C) ribbon laced around the titan stuffie’s neck sitting on her bed, the only thing on it besides her blankets, sheets and pillows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 22 September, 2020!


	43. OVA 3║Footprints

**XXXXXXXX, XX XXXX, XXX at 15:03**

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**

“Hanji! Wait up!” you cried as you tried to keep up with the female. From an outsider’s perspective, it might have looked like you weren’t just as eager as her to see what was going on, but that couldn’t be any further from the truth, ‘ _I can’t really blame her, but Moblit’s still going to kill me if anything happens to the person he entrusted me with…_ ’

It wasn’t too long ago that you had returned from meeting up with the Special Operations Squad, having recently seen them when the event took place an terror had fallen upon the many residents of Trost. Moblit was off doing what he had to -he along with the rest of Hanji’s squad were sent to collect, clean up and identify the countless amount of starting to decay bodies that laid in the previously bustling streets- while Hanji had immediately pulled you away to try and look to see if the titan that had caused all of this agony had left anything behind in the dirt. The girl claimed that since there weren’t many records of how the first titan appeared -most likely because a good amount of them died in battle- or how it disappeared, it would be wise to check the scene since Wall Rose had not fallen and the both of you were able to.

“(Y/N)! Hurry up!” she only replied, keeping her phrasing similar to yours in a sense that made her retort a playful jab at you. If you weren’t currently sprinting on top of Wall Rose, you probably would have rolled your eyes, “I’m trying!” Letting out a huff, you pushed harder for your body to go faster, despite all the aching and soreness you felt from your worked muscles due to the battle that had finished not too long ago. When the girl didn’t stop running and ran off the edge when you finally got there, you only yelled her name in partial frustration, knowing full well that she was going to catch herself on the wall -and this exact moment partially reminded you of testing that you had done about three years ago. Since it was where the Colossal Titan had appeared however, there were multiple people who were there to witness and gasp in horror as said section commander seemed to do the most suicidal thing they had ever seen. Before you could jump after her they crowded around where she jumped, and without much more of a choice, you harshly tugged one of the arms back of someone who was in your way -you weren’t sure if they had fallen down or not, for their sake you hoped they were still standing- and ran off as well, not missing the second set of gasps that passed through their lips, “What are they doing?!” “No!” “Not again!”

This time you _did_ roll your eyes.

Looking below you you saw the ever grinning faces brighten, as well as the dot on the Wall you guessed to be Hanji. You didn’t have to think for too long on when would be the best time to shoot out your wires to land next to the female, as your instincts took over and led you to her side, panting as you took a quick glance up and saw that the crowd had left, “I guess they saw… that we landed.” you got out jaggedly throughout your heavy intakes of air. On a normal day you wouldn’t have been so winded, but given how much you had used your body before, you considered it justifiable. You started to second guess that through when you saw Hanji completely fine, “Huh?”

The woman was scanning her eyes over where she thought the titan had been, desperately trying to find something that could teach her something new either about the titans _or about this titan. You started to search for clues as well, eyes first looking at the wall you were hanging off of before deciding that it hadn’t been too affected, aside from the gaping hold and enormous rock that plugged it. After taking a quick moment to regain your breath, you answered, “There were people who saw you jump off of there y’know.”_

_“I feel like this is more important than temporarily scaring them, but I’ll totally send them my condolences.” Hanji said, giving you a side smile. You couldn’t help but return one of your own -it wasn’t too long ago she had been upset at how you had sided with Moblit instead of her, but she had revealed to you on the way to Wall Rose that she has realized that the two of you might’ve had the better way of thinking- glad to see her smile once more, “But there were journalists up there, Humanity’s gonna think we’re all a bunch of suicidal idiots!” you teased back._

_“You’re saying that like they already don’t.” she snorted, and you yourself let out a little chuckle, not being able to focus on the task not only because of how tired you were from the events of today, but also because you couldn’t help but notice how cute Hanji looked while focused on what she was doing. She had absentmindedly tucked some of her hair that framed the sides of her face behind her ear, and her goggles were a little dirtied -or perhaps it was blood from one of the many people that she had most likely seen die recently, you honestly couldn’t tell. You directed your eyes away from them and slightly shook your head, only realizing that the brunette was talking to you when you snapped out of it, “...don’t you think?”_

_‘Ah, great. Just missed it.’ Hanji partially quirked a brow at the longer-than-usual pause that was given without reason, “I’m sorry I got lost in thought, could you repeat that?” you said, and that wasn’t a lie necessarily, you just didn’t tell her why_ you were staring out.

“I said I was having a hard time seeing anything from this angle, and that I think it’s best to move to get a better angle, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, that’s not a bad idea, just, y’know, don’t die on me here because Moblit would absolutely kill me.”

“Oh please, don’t act like you wouldn’t miss me.” she spoke as she rolled her eyes, and you couldn’t help but imagine that if she were standing on the ground and not hanging over a bunch of titans, that she would have put a hand on her hip.

“Yeah, yeah. I’d miss you, now just be careful.”

“Aw, I knew you cared about me! Love ya too (Y/N)!” she said, before removing her wires from the wall and pushing with her legs, trying to maneuver herself to the best overseeing position available -surprisingly there weren’t many, as the broken in part of Wall Rose was currently overswarmed by titans who had once hoped to get in. You weren’t thinking about that though.

Your cheeks were painted a nice rosey colour, and the shot of adrenaline that had rushed through you still had it’s lingering effects as you felt yourself freeze in place, ‘ _No (Y/N), don’t get your hopes up. She said not too long ago that you were her best friend, and even if things were going to change, which they aren’t, it wouldn’t have been so quickly._ ’ You let your lips turn into a bittersweet smile as you thought it over once more, not being able to help the way the words still rung throughout your head regardless, ‘ _I’m best off pretending that never happened._ ’ Once you had regained yourself, you headed over to the female to watch over her once more, Hanji teasing you for staring out again and you retorting that it has been a _very_ long while since you’ve had proper rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little (ok, a lot) late today, but here nonetheless!
> 
> Updated 25 September, 2020
> 
> ((Gonna be honest here, the idea of looking at the footprints came from a rp on amino oof))


	44. OVA 4║Volume Four

**XXXXXXXX, XXXX XX, XXX at 02:21**

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You tiptoed across the stilled hallway, not a single peep coming out of the floorboards to your utter surprise, ' _Quite a stark contrast to Hanji's floorboards I must say._ ' Just getting back from your room in the dead of night to get a few things you needed -namely a change of clothes and a toothbrush- you were now ready to spend a good majority of the night studying all Humanity knew about the titans, at best spending an hour or two sleeping.

It's only two days until you and the section commander are going to leave with the rest of her squad to do more open tests on Chicacchironi and Albert -the woman had supposedly found an open pit in the ground that was perfect for testing, and although you hadn't seen it yet, you trusted her judgement. So with that in mind, you both decided it to be a good idea to refresh your minds on the knowledge you had on the titans, even though the both of you knew it was only an excuse to study about the fascinating creatures and hang out with each other.

Finally making it over to her door, you gently grasped onto the knob and turned it while holding your clothes and toothbrush in your other hand, entering and hearing the woman soon speak up after the fact, "Geez, did you stop by Wall Sina on your way back?"

Snorting, you rolled your eyes at her playful comment regarding your supposed tardiness, "Yeah, King Fritz told me to say hello."

This time she was the one who rolled her eyes, still giving a little chuckle at your retort nonetheless, "Feel free to put your stuff anywhere- No, why am I even telling you this? You already treat this like a second room."

Sending the oaken haired girl a jovial wink, you made your way to her bathroom, "You mean, it _is_ my second room."

As you started to change in the bathroom that was very similar to yours -you came to the conclusion that your room matched all of the section commanders', but you had yet to actually see proof- you could hear the girl shift about in her room, quietly muttering to herself, "Oh, she's going to regret giving me her room key..."

You tried your best to hold in your snickers, "Hey! I heard that!"

"Hm? Heard what?"

Only letting out a laugh, you couldn't help but smile at your best friend's words as you looked yourself over in the mirror, pushing some of your (H/C) hair behind your ear before kicking your clothes -which you had put on the floor- to the side. You then quickly brushed your teeth and put your toothbrush down next to Hanji's, leaving the room soon after and stretching as you went.

"Hey, Hanji..." you said with a yawn, "Do you remember what book I left off of last time we did this?" She was now sitting on her couch, comfortably lounged across it yet still leaving enough room for you to join if you wanted -which you planned to do. "I'm pretty sure it was the fourth volume, around chapter 21."

"Thanks" you said as you then made your way over to her table, who still had papers stacked high on it, but atop these papers were seemingly countless books on the topic of titans. When you looked through them however, and you checked three times even, you couldn't find the fourth book, "Hey, do you know where it went? Four, that is? I can't find it..."

"Hm? Oh, heh, I just remembered, that's the one that I'm uh, that I'm reading." the brunette admitted with a slight guilty smile.

You gave Hanji a partial glare, not actually annoyed at her as you found it amusing -the only sign of this being so was the small curvature of your lips- that even she forgot what book she was reading, "Well what chapter are you on?"

"I just got to..." she trailed off as she flipped to the beginning of her chapter, "Well, no, I'm almost at chapter 21. I have a few pages left."

"Why don't we read together? I don't mind backtracking a little, that is, if you don't mind." you offered, waiting for her to either accept or deny your proposal, ' _If she says no, I could always just pick up Volume Five, it's not like it has to technically be read in order._ '

"Sure, only on one condition." Hanji said with a mischievous smile as you headed over to the couch where she sat, one that you completely missed not only by the sly grin etched onto her face, but also the way it was laced between her words. "Yeah, what is it?"

"You have to read it out loud."

"Huh? Why?"

"Well, it'll make sure that we keep up at the same pace and make it easier for me, because my eyes are starting to get a little blurry from how late I've been up now." The section commander reasoned, and to be quite honest, you didn't really have any objections to her offer, "I don't see why not, sure."

Soon enough the both of you sat next to each other on the couch, you reading the written words aloud and Hanji sitting next to you comfortably and listening. When you had been reading about for an hour however, you soon slowed down, "...and that's how most believe that the titans are able to survive for so long outside the Walls without any human contact,,... although this isn't taught to... to cadets because this information hasn't been verified. The second most accepted theory isss..." When you stopped reading the text, Hanji peeked one of her eyes open -she had closed them while listening to your read to help her concentrate better- to see why the words stopped flowing out of your mouth. It didn't take her long to figure out why however, because soon after you stopped your body started to lean over a little, eyes shut peacefully in slumber.

She looked at you with a pitiful smile, before deciding that she should probably lay you down when she recalled how you complained about your back hurting the last time you had fallen asleep while sitting up. As she went to stand up and lay you down on the couch though, your body fell over and started to lean on her, preventing the maroon haired girl from doing as she had planned. Hanji couldn't help but think that it still would be best to let you get rest, after all, if you were sleeping, that meant you were tired. So without giving it too much more thought, she laid you down over her lap, taking the book that had been in your hands and putting it on the coffee table that was in front of her.

Hanji wasn't able to sleep that night, and for reasons she couldn't place why. She reasoned with herself that she was able to fall asleep while sitting up countless times before, in even less comfortable places than she was in now -not to say that she had felt uncomfortable at all. What she did know however was that she couldn't stop taking quick glances at your face throughout the candlelit room, even when it was further obscured by more darkness when she blew out a nearby candle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written at 4am because why not??
> 
> Updated 28 September, 2020! I hope you enjoyed ^^


	45. OVA 5║Sick

**XXXXXXXX, XXXX XX, XXX at 02:37**

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A shiver left your body as you stood up and stretched, letting out a yawn in the process and rubbing your eyes after. Having taken your jacket off before you had started your paperwork about an hour or two ago, you were now regretting the decision to open your window as the temperature had significantly dropped, ‘ _Well, I’m cold now but as soon as I’m under my blankets I’m sure I’ll warm up. Nothing to worry about, really._ ’

Your chair scraped against the ground for a brief second before you winced, and given that it was late into the day, you decided it best to pick the chair up a centimeter or so off the wooden floorboards beneath it to tuck it under your desk. Then you turned to your window and slid it shut, making sure to lock it with the flimsy mechanism even though your room wasn’t on the ground floor. You didn’t even bother to pick up your jacket as you made you way over to your room -and then your bed- exhaustedly, ‘ _I’ll make sure to finish my paperwork in the morning, I’m too tired to complete any more right now. Besides, I need to have my energy for testing tomorrow, I wouldn’t want to miss testing on Leslie after all!_ ’

You kicked off your boots and left the rest of your uniform on, leaving your boots on the floor next to your bed and slipping your body under the comfortable and fluffy covers on your bed, ‘ _Now I just need to sleep, and then I can-_ ’

“ _Achoo!_ ” you covered your nose with your elbow as you sneezed, blinking once or twice after before settling back in your covers.

‘ _Eh, that’s nothing to worry about. Just a little sneeze after all._ ’

\----------------------------------------------------------

You groaned as you felt a pounding in your head, not being able to do anything else but squint your eyes in pain as you withered on your bed, ‘ _Oh the Walls, I- Geez, what hap- This is so fuc-_ ’ You couldn’t think straight, and feeling a cold sweat sweep across your body, you could only pull your sheets over your body more as small tears pricked at the corner of your eyes.

_Knock knock_

“Hey, are you still sleeping in there?!”

You let out a pained gasp as you grasped at your head, and winced even more when the sudden movement caused you to cough -in turn only making the pain of your headache tenfold. Not even being able to hear the person who had knocked at your door enter into the room -and if you had you would have scolded yourself for not making sure the door was locked before going to sleep- you only continued to hack out your lungs painfully. It was only when they had creaked your bedroom door open more that you realized that they had entered, “...(Y/N)...?”

You let out a small, weak, “H-Huh?” before you were back to gritting your teeth, praying to whatever deity could be out there that they would take mercy on you and make it stop. You supposed that even that quiet speech might have been too loud for you right now to talk comfortably.

Peeking your eyes open, you locked your (E/C) eyes onto Hanji’s chocolate ones as she neared, “Are you ok?” she asked apprehensively. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes given that the answer should have been obvious, and fearing too much that any movement would hurt you opted for a quiet whisper instead, “...ⁿᵒ…”

Light footsteps reverberated off the ground as the girl walked to the bedside with a pitiful frown, reaching a hand out to your forehead without hesitation. When her cold hand met your head, you had to resist the urge to lean into her touch as the woman frowned, “You’re burning up…”

“ᴴᵃⁿʲⁱ... ᴵ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᴵ... ᵀʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿ ᵈᵒ ᵗᵉˢᵗⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒᵈᵃʸ…”

“No, I don’t think so either.” she said, taking in your -quite literally- feverish face, “I’ll be right back.”

“Waⁱᵗ!” you said with a cracked voice, regretting immediately the way you raised your voice to get her attention. Her cocoa hair swished around her face a little bit in its ponytail, looking back at you in part concern, part pity as she stopped at the doorway to listen to you, “ᶠⁱᵉˡᵈ ʲᵒᵘʳⁿᵃˡ ⁱˢ ⁱⁿ ʲᵃᶜᵏᵉᵗ..., ʲᵃᶜᵏᵉᵗ ᵃᵗ ᵈᵉˢᵏ ᶜʰᵃⁱʳ ᶠᵒʳ... ᶠᵒʳ ⁿᵒᵗᵉˢ…”

She only gave you a shake of her head with a slight smile, “Don’t worry about anything testing wise, I’m going to postpone that for now.”

Hanji once again started to leave before stopping herself once more, this time halfway out of the door frame as she turned her head back to you, “I just need to tell Moblit something, like I said, I’ll be right back, ok?”

The woman didn’t really give you time to counter her words -like you undoubtedly would have- as she left the room, leaving with a gentle click of your door.

As you laid in the bed, experiencing pain that made you regret not getting caught by a titan on your last expedition, you only found solace when you had managed to fall asleep. When you did finally wake up again, Hanji was seated beside your bed, book in hand that she had been reading over.

The oaken haired girl did a great job at helping you get better. She did not, however, do a great job in making sure that she did not get sick. So when the section commander was forced to forfeit testing by Moblit when she had to drag herself over to her squad and Leslie, you helped her get better by doing the same as she had for you, making sure she got back to her old self as soon as she possibly could with the same pitiful face she had once given you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 1 October, 2020!
> 
> Schools kicking my butt, I really miss summer lmao


	46. OVA 6║Master Key

**XXXXXXXX, XXXX XX, XXX at 11:45**

\---------------------------------------------------------- **  
**

“Of course, you too guys!” you quietly shouted back to Gunther and Eld who were waving, turning back to them once more as you yourself gave them a wave before heading off to your own room for the night. The walk there wasn’t long -it never was- yet you still had to pay attention to where you were going -otherwise you’d end up in your old room. Granted, the few times that it had happened, Petra never minded. She only kept you for a few minutes, asking how things were with you, complaining about Oluo and questioning if you had found anything new out about the titans before sending you back on your way. This time you did remember however, altogether passing her room and heading to yours as you put your hand in your pocket. Your fingers grasped around a steel key, one you always kept with you when possible if you locked your door so then you could never be locked out, ‘ _Although I suppose it only does so much, given that there is a rumoured master key that unlocks all of the rooms, save for the commander’s._ ’

Turning one corner and then the next, your eyes wandered across the hall’s walls, looking at how they are illuminated from the candle you were carrying in your non-dominant hand and the different shapes the flicker flame made until you turned one last corner, seeing a darkened figure meddling with a doorknob, ‘ _Isn’t that Hanji’s room…?_ ’

The person didn’t seem to notice you, as they kept twisting the knob and crouching to try and see through it somehow -as if it would help them break in. Deciding that this was worth investigating, you chose to speak up and gain their attention as opposed to simply turning around and heading the other way, “Hey!” you whisper-shouted loud enough to get them to notice you, “What’re you doing?” The figure shot up, and you could faintly see the -as you now realized- feminine body put her hands behind her in the dim lighting.

“Oh! Hey there, (Y/N). Heh, what’re the chances of seeing you right here, right uh, right now?” Squinting your eyes, you tried your best to make out who it was, until you put together who the person’s voice was, “Hanji? Is that you?”

“I- yeah…”

Taking a step closer, you could finally make out her face -which looked slightly guilty, as if you had caught her taking cookies out of the cookie jar, “Were you just… _breaking_ into your own room?”

She was silent for a moment, and you took the opportunity to raise a brow at the girl who seemed to have been caught doing something that she shouldn’t have been doing, “Long story short, yes, I was. But it’s not for any bad reason!” she exclaimed in a whisper, waving her hands as if to dispel any theories you had put together as to why she was attempting to pick the lock to her own room, “I accidentally left my key in my room this morning, and well, Erwin said if I needed help getting into my room he would make me share a room with Levi for a month.” she let out a shiver at the thought, “I wouldn’t be able to do anything, he’d never allow for me to work comfortably!”

‘ _I can’t really blame her, the corporal most likely wouldn’t allow Hanji to have her somehow organized mess strewn about his table for an hour, let alone his room for a month._ ’

“Isn’t that a little extreme of Erwin? I thought he was more reasonable?”

The mahogany haired girl let out a nervous laugh, averting her eys from yours as she gave an explanation, “Well, you see, this may or may not be the ….. time I haven’t been able to get into my room.”

“Huh? How many times?”

“The …… time.”

“Hanji, you’re going to need to speak up, I can’t hear you.”

“The fourth time!” she spoke while studying the ground, clearly embarrassed. You still didn’t understand however, “Well, I still think that might be a little extreme. I mean, only four times in however many years you’ve been working for the Survey Corps?”

“Ah, well, it’s been four times in the past two _weeks_.”

‘ _Oh_.’ you thought, resisting the urge to facepalm as you came to the conclusion that Erwin had every right to have said what he said, “Look, (Y/N), I need you to do me a favour.”

“Hanji, I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to lock pick.”

“No! I mean, could you go to Erwin’s office and _ask him_ if you could borrow the master key he has?”

“The Walls, you better make a copy of your key and hide it in your lab or something…”

“Thank you so much, I promise it’ll never happen again!”

\----------------------------------------------------------

‘“ _Just make sure not to make this a habit.” I better hope I don’t actually forget_ my _key now, otherwise I’m screwed._ ’ His last words -something you saw as a partial threat even though you knew the man didn’t mean it like that- kept ringing throughout your head, picking up the pace a little on your way back to Hanji when your conscious reminded you that he told you to hurry and give it back to him within the next ten minutes.

As soon as you reached the titan-crazy woman you gave her the key, grumbling to yourself that she had to hurry with it otherwise you’d be in trouble while putting the candle you had carried on the ground outside her door. Giving you a playful jab in your side, she rolled her eyes in the dark, “Oh, that? He’s never serious about it. Once I even took two days to give it back and all he did was glare at me! Although I did have to hide from him throughout those two days.”

“I don’t know if you’ve realized this, but I’m not exactly on the same level of authority as you.” you retorted, although a small grin formed upon your lips at the image of Hanji running away from Erwin’s footsteps coming down a hallway, or perhaps her sprinting in the opposite direction as she heard him call out her name in frustration. Soon a click was heard, and the girl completely forgot to respond to what you had said as she let out a quiet, ‘Yes!” gripping the knob and turning it open. She took a few steps forwards and twirled about a little, rejoicing in the fact that she was once again able to enter her own room.

Letting out a snort, you held your hand out for the key Erwin had lent you, ‘Ok, ok, you can celebrate later, silly. I need to give that back before he gets upset.”

Without saying anything more, she took your left hand in her own left and held your palm upwards, soon after dropping the bronze key into your opened hand before closing it before enveloping you in a hug, “Thank you (Y/N).” she whispered with sincerity into your ear. You couldn’t help but smile back at the girl as you squeezed her back, despite all of the trouble she had caused you, “It’s no problem, Hanji.”

After the exchange you had managed to give the key back to Erwin after retrieving your candle, leaving the strict man blissfully unaware of what you had actually done with the key as you returned to your own room for the night. It was not even a week after that night that you had received an envelope underneath your door, presumably from the night before it appeared as when you had fallen asleep last night it wasn’t there. Inside it was a small note saying, ‘ _Just in case I get locked out again, what you said about making a copy would be my saving grace. Thank you._ ’ with a small key that resembled, yet greatly differed, yours. The next time you went out into town you yourself made a copy of your own key to give to her, seeing the advantage it presented -and also fearing angering Erwin by bothering him for the master key a second time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 4th October, 2020!
> 
> ((I'm so happy, this story was finally ranked on Wattpad ^^))
> 
> ((Also over 100,000 words now!!!))


	47. OVA 7║Bathtime

**XXXXXXXX, XXXX XX, XXX at 23:12**

\----------------------------------------------------------

"Hanji, you have too!"

"But (Y/N)!" said girl whined, giving you the best puppy eyes she could manage, "I don't wannnnnaaaaa..."

"It's gone on for too long, I refuse to allow you to go another day like this!"

While the girl didn't respond verbally, she certainly gave a plead physically for you to give in and comply with her wishes. Unfortunately for your girlfriend, she didn't know how determined you were to make the section commander take a bath and stop putting it off to the side for once her work was done -which you had learned that it _never_ was. She was however testing you greatly, you had to admit that the way she was pouting her lip out was indescribably cute.

"Hanji..."

"(Y/N)..."

You let out a sigh, not giving up but willing to make a deal that kind of resembled a compromise, "Look, I'll start the bath water for you, and you can go pick out clothes, ok?" Without waiting for a response from the girl, you walked to your shared bathroom to draw a bath like you had offered -you had moved into her room for living, and the both of you used your old room for more work related things, even if the both of you ended up working in Hanji's room regularly- and it wasn't long after the water had started to flow into the basin that you heard Hanji's boots begrudgingly make their way to the bedroom to pick out fitting clothes, floorboards creaking underneath her as she went -like they typically did.

Once you deemed the water was at an acceptable level, you stopped it's flow by turning the faucet off, dipping your hand in it briefly to make sure it wasn't freezing or scorching hot. Soft steps were heard returning from the bedroom, and Hanji entered the bathroom with a fresh set of clothes and a towel, having already -to your complete and utter surprise at her compliance- taken off her harness and uniform jacket, "Well look at that, she's actually going with it."

She tried to stop the smile that was growing on her lips by biting them, ultimately failing as she placed the materials she brought in on a nearby counter, "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, _meanie_."

"Oh geez, how rude of you." you rolled your eyes, already heading for the door to give the woman the room she would need to bathe properly, "Make sure you get your hair, ok you bully?"

"But-"

Giving her a sharp glare, she quickly stopped her words as she came to the conclusion that it was best not to oppose you right now, "Ok, _fine_."

"You have everything you need to bathe, right?" you asked, ' _I don't even want to give her an excuse to leave the bathroom until she's done. Last time it ended up with her agreeing to bathing, and then claiming she forgot socks before she just starting working on other things_ ' It was safe to say that you were a veteran in the art of trying to get Hanji to cleanse herself, so you were almost sure that this time, she would finally clean herself properly.

"Well, there is one thing I still need..." she admitted, looking to the ground as if disappointed her tactic wasn't going to work a second time.

"What is it?" you inquired with a raised brow, curious as to what it could possibly be.

She then changed her demeanor almost instantaneously, shooting you a mischievous grin and sending you a wink as she spoke one simple word, "You."

Feeling your face heaten up, you quickly shouted, "Hanji!" before slamming the door shut, leaving the oaken haired girl by herself to cackle away, laughing at your reaction as you heard her clothes hit the floor. You could only lean against the door, thinking to yourself, ' _What in the good name of the Walls am I going to do with her?_ '

\----------------------------------------------------------

It was a good hour and a half later that she finally emerged from the bathroom, clearing the slight fog from her glasses on her clean shirt with her mostly straight hair falling onto her shoulders, the brush that you both typically kept in the bathroom resting in the crook of her elbow, "Hey (Y/N)?"

"Huh?" you asked from your place on the couch, lifting your eyes up from the book you were reading to meet your (E/C) eyes to her own sepia ones. "Could you brush my hair?" Giving her a small smile, you only put your book down on the coffee table and moved yourself in a way so that she could sit on the floor in front of you. Gently, she handed you the brush while putting her glasses on the coffee table to her side, "You know, you look pretty with your hair down. Not to say that you don't with your hair up or anything, it's just something new."

She let out a chuckle with lightly tinted cheeks that you couldn't see, clearly not taking any of your words the wrong way, "Thank you."

With the tool in your hands, you started from the bottom and slowly worked your way up to the top of her scalp, to your surprise finding it rather easy to brush through the knots that tangled her hair. The further you went along you noticed her leaning into the brush a little, seemingly liking the way it felt as it combed through and freed her hair of any ties to itself. When you had finally finished, you held out the brush for the girl on the floor in front of you, the upwards turn of your lips only growing at the way she waddled back and forth slightly to do so. "Y'know, I could brush your hair more if you bathe more often." you noted aloud, grabbing her glasses and carefully placing them on her face with both of your hands. Before you could pull them away and back to yourself, Hanji grabbed onto them with her own soft hands, not free of calluses or rough spots, but overall soft for her position in the military, "I might have to do that then."

She then tugged your hands to her, causing you to lean closer and connect your lips to hers sweetly as you felt her smile through the kiss. And you didn't doubt that you were doing the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 7 October, 2020!
> 
> ((Delayed because I finished writing Chapter 23 before I started this ^^ Also, just a heads up, one more "OVA" until I go back to chapters ^^))


	48. OVA 8║The Corporal's Tea

**XXXXXXXX, XXXX XX, XXX at 11:27**

\---------------------------------------------------------- **  
**

“Yes sir, right away.” you said as calmly as you could with a fake smile plastered on your face. You knew that being a new member of the Special Operations Squad would probably make you the task girl for the first few weeks or so, but out of everything you had told yourself you would have to do, _this_ was not one of them, ‘ _Why can’t Levi just make his own darn tea??_ ’

Levi didn’t have any opposition to your compliance or anymore to say, so without another word uttered from either of your mouths he waved his hand to his door -all while reading something that looked important on his desk-, you slipped out the door and into the hallway, heading in the direction where you believed the proper material to make the beverage would be. And to your complete and utter surprise, within less than two minutes you had found yourself outside the room you needed to go into -although your travel wasn’t linear, the kitchen was just close to where Levi’s room was, ‘ _I suppose that makes sense, given that the kitchen is only for Erwin, Levi and, whoever the other section commander’s are._ ’ In your defense, you haven’t been in the Survey Corps for too long, only officially joining the branch about a week ago, and even more recently joining the Special Operations Squad -only a few days you have been under Levi’s direct command. Opening the kitchen door, you stepped in while recalling the event that had given you such an admirable position in such little time, ‘ _I honestly don’t even know how I survived Trost, graduating a few days before that bastard titan kicked the walls in._ ’ you glared your eyes at nothing in particular as you shut the kitchen door behind you, ‘ _So many of the people I trained with are dead. In fact, I don’t know that anyone else in my graduate year is left alive, the ones in the Survey Corps anyways. Maybe a few in the Garrison, and I doubt the MP’s got too involved…_ ’

You shook your head, trying to rid your mind of those memories, ‘ _I’m not even sure if I belong in such a high ranking group just because I survived, everyone else here did. What was Erwin thinking…?_ ’ Pinching the bridge of your nose, you once again sighed and frustratedly let out a, “Damn them all to Hell!” in a hushed voice.

“Damn who to Hell?”

Letting out a gasp, you involuntarily pushed yourself against the wood door behind you with a hand to your chest, your surprise evident on your face as your eyes quickly scanned over the room to find who had inquired the question. There, leaning against one of the counters in the mostly dark room -save for a candle that was lit upon a table- was a woman, donning the same uniform as you were, albeit hers was a little more disheveled and worn looking, “Ah, sorry. I was just rambling to myself, that’s all.” you did however raise a brow, “But I don’t think you should be here, the only reason I’m in here is because Corporal Levi asked me to make him some tea. I don’t know what they do to soldiers who come in here unauthorized…” you trailed off. The brunette’s eyebrow raised in what you took as amusement, warm mocha eyes glistening with interest at your command. The unknown soldier pushed up her glasses, taking a few steps forwards to you with a giggle, “I don’t believe we’ve met,” she smiled with an outwards hand for you to shake, “I’m Hanji Zoë, Fourth Section Commander of the SUrvey Corps.”

‘ _Shoot._ ’ you thought as your face paled, immediately bowing to the girl as you realized you mistake, “I’m so sorry section commander, I promise you I had no clue!”

“Woah, woah, you’re ok.” Hanji reassured while pulling her hand back, clearly seeing that you had no intent on shaking it in favour of spewing out apologies, ”Like I said, I don’t think we’ve met before.” You peeked your (E/C) eyes at her, not expecting this kind of calmness from someone of such a high position, ‘ _I guess not everyone in here is like Levi, I know I probably would be dead already if I said what I did to him._ ’ Hesitantly, you stood back up normally and gave her a weary smile, “Thank you, miss.”

“No need to thank me...,” she started as she hinted for you to give your name with a gesture of her hands. You complied instantly, feeling bad for disrespecting her even if you didn’t know of her position, “(Y/N) (L/N) at your service, section commander.”

“Well (Y/N), no need to thank me.” she grinned as she walked over to the one table with the candle on it, “But you might wanna get a move on with Shorty’s tea, I heard he gets cranky if he has to wait for too long.” It was only then you remember the entire reason you had been in the room to begin with, even if it was after a second of surprise at what she had called the corporal, “Of course, section commander.”

You then turned to the cabinets, intent on getting the items you would need to make tea when you ran into a problem, “Section Commander Hanji…?”

“Hm?”

“I hate to bother you, section commander, but do you know where the uh, where the tea is?”

She shot you a smile, slightly shaking her head at the situation as she nodded her head to a cabinet to your left, “It’s to the very right of that cabinet, that’s the one I usually see him making in here anyways.”

“Thank you, Section Commander Hanji.”

She nodded her head -something you caught out of the corner of your eye- as you turned to open said cabinet, pulling out the box of tea leaves as you then took the tea pot -which you saw resting on the counter- and put an adequate amount of water in. Then you put the pot on the stove and promptly turned it on. It was when the water was at what you considered a good temperature that you heard footsteps behind you, and turning around told you that Hanji was at the door and had opened it, “Have a good night, (Y/N).”

“You too, section commander.” you returned, before focusing your attention back on making the tea. You poured some of the tea leaves in, watching closely as they fell in one by one when you suddenly jumped at Hanji’s voice, having already thought she left, “He likes his tea with one spoon of sugar.” Before you could turn around and answer her, or thank her for the knowledge she just gave you, the door clicked shut, signaling to you that the woman you deemed partially mysterious had in fact left this time. That didn’t stop you from glancing back at the door however, words tied together in your mouth and effecting your thoughts as well, ‘ _I-... Well, at least she’s nice._ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated a little before 9 October, 2020!
> 
> After this one, I'll go back to posting chapters regularly, starting 14 October, 2020!!!! ^^


	49. OVA 9║Broken Down

**XXXXXXXX, XXXX XX, XXX at 08:17**

\----------------------------------------------------------

“I’m sure you all are aware that there’s most likely a traitor among the Survey Corps, yes?”

Three pairs of oaken, stormy grey and (E/C) spheres met with his cerulean ones, the commander’s swirling with conspiracy and a partial caution as he regarded everyone in the room -said man was sitting at his desk, hands folded in his lap as he sat back in his wooden chair, looking back at all of you from his left to right; Levi, you and Hanji. The sunlight that was shining in through his three-panelled window behind him lit up the room plenty, leaving no need for any candles or lanterns to see his section commander, corporal and captain paying attention to him and shaking their heads to his statement -save for Levi, who just stared at the man rather coldly; waiting for Erwin to get to the point already and hating the unnecessary build-up. The commander's office held a slight tenseness to it, but it was nowhere near the overpowering thickness that had coated the air outside, where the majority of people held themselves stiffly and kept looking over their shoulders as if they were the ones who had done it.

“Well, based on what exactly happened today, I’d say that their next target is Eren.”

‘ _Wait, what?_ ’

Hesitantly, you used your voice to project your confusion as to where he had come to that conclusion, “Sir, I mean no disrespect, but where did you draw that conclusion from?”

His piercing gaze connected to yours, and even though you slightly wanted to slink away at its unusual intensity, you composed yourself and returned it equally, not letting yourself cower away under something as simple as a look, ‘ _That’s right, hold yourself (Y/N). Show that you’re strong, even if the only reason they were killed was because you couldn’t stop them before…_ ’ The man replied in his typical, strong voice, “(Y/N), I need to ask you some things before I explain myself any further.” he spoke, eyes unmoving and watching every single move you made, “First, what exactly happened this morning, and why were you in the testing area at the same time that Sawney and Bean were killed when you were supposed to be with Hanji?”

You felt your mouth go dry, not liking the suspecting tone that was once hidden in his deep voice as it came out into the open, much more apparent now than it had been before. Hanji tensed at your side, seeming to realize the same thing that you did at the same time based on his tone, ‘ _He’s thinking I did it and staged this whole thing, isn’t he?_ ’

Holding back a gulp, you could feel the observant stare of Levi on you, undoubtedly ready to stop you should you try to do anything fishy, ' _That was what they were talking about before, wasn't it? When Erwin called Hanji and me over..._ '

You did your best not to let your eyes drift to the male, instead keeping your slightly widened hues tracked on Erwin, and subconsciously shifting your weight a little closer to Hanji, “Sir, while at the castle Levi and his squad were at, I realized I forgot my field journal at the testing area and immediately left to retrieve it. Upon arrival, I found two soldiers who had just finished killing both Sawney and Bean. I tried to stop them, but… I failed. And now they’re dead. The soldiers who were supposed to be on guard quickly entered once they left.” you answered as truthfully as you could, trying to calm your quickening heartbeat.

The man continued to sit at his desk, staring at you as he processed your story with alert shades of a deep blue. Hanji took the smallest of moves towards you, right hand reaching out to your left one and grabbing onto it as what you could only guess was a form of reassurance that -even if no one else was- she was on your side, “(L/N), you were the only person who saw them, correct?”

“I-... Yes, commander,” you admitted, not seeing any point in lying as that would only make you more suspicious; bringing your right hand up to brush through your (H/L) hair -understandably stressed at the accusation of doing something you’d never dream of.

It was in that moment that you saw Levi make a move out of the corner of your eye.

_Shing._

It felt as if everything had stopped for that one moment while you froze; it was almost as if you couldn’t breathe yet you were hyperventilating all at once -your enlarged eyes slowly pointing downwards where the corporal, who you had loyally obeyed for several years, had come in contact with your body. You couldn’t even bring yourself to properly react as your body entered shock; the dagger that the ravenette had been hiding on him plunged deep within your flesh to the point where you could feel the colder tip of the knife tear into your organs -and as you staggered backwards, you found yourself confused and losing your balance as you fell to the ground, accidentally cutting yourself a little more on the blade as it left you, ‘ _H-Huh?_ ’ Both of your hands automatically pushed themselves against the open wound as a cold sweat drenched you, your shirt becoming sticky as the heated blood seeped through the fabric and coated your hands in an uncomfortably warm cover that you recognised all too well -and after seeing so many others in a similar, injured state, it seemed as if it were finally your turn.

Instinctively, your (E/C) orbs made their way up to Hanji’s; it was only for a second however; but in that one second you could easily detect the fear and concern that shone transparently on her readable features. As soon as she pulled her sight away from yours, the girl lunged at Levi -seemingly with the intent of disarming him, “ _HOW DARE YOU?!_ ” “Hanji, stop right now!” “I didn’t mea-!”

The three voices loudly called out as soon as the brunette had made a move, “She said she didn’t _do anything_ , damnit!”

Wincing to yourself, the yelling only made the entire thing worse; it made you feel more anxious and scared than you had previously felt, as if you were alone as you briefly noticed that Hanji had grabbed the knife out of Levi’s hand -the girl throwing the knife to the floor and kicking it away, unknowingly to you splattering your blood unevenly in splotches across Erwin’s hardwood floor as it spun about.

_Clatter._

“ᴺᵍʰʰʰ...” you weakly groaned out in pain, the shock seeming to be wearing off and you now being unable to conceal the pain you felt running through you anymore; it was soon after you made the noise that you heard a gasp, “(Y/N)!” Hanji dropped to her knees at your side, placing her hands over yours as she too tried to stop the excessive flow of blood rushing out of your body, “Somebody go get a medic! She’ll bleed out!”

You let out a hiss at the extra pressure applied to your deep laceration, trying to keep yourself strong as you grit your teeth, feeling light-headed, ' _Why did he…? Why did he do that? I thought he cared about me, that he saw me as someone to look after in a sense…_ '

In the moment you didn't realise it, but Erwin watched the scene with huge eyes; seeming to have concluded something that partially disturbed him -which was saying a lot for the typically stone-faced male, "ᵀʰᵉʳᵉ'ˢ ⁿᵒ ˢᵗᵉᵃᵐ… ˢʰᵉ'ˢ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵃ…"

For a brief second he flickered his hues over to Levi before he saw that the corporal was staring at your bleeding out form in shock -it was clear to the commander that he hadn't actually meant to harm you, but rather something along the lines of threatening you to prevent you from shifting if you had truly been a shifter; he had meant to show you he wasn't joking around, not wound you. After blinking away from Levi and seeing that you needed help, he rushed past you and reached his office door, deep voice keeping call but shouting out commands as he looked for someone that could properly save you -all with a muffled voice as he travelled further down the halls, "ᴵ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ᵃ ᵐᵉᵈⁱᶜ ⁱⁿ ᵐʸ ᵒᶠᶠⁱᶜᵉ, ⁿᵒʷ!"

Unfortunately for you however, not many people were around at the moment because the majority of the Survey Corps members were still out where Sawney and Bean had been killed -which meant that it would take more time to get the help you needed; time that you might not have had.

It was getting harder to keep your eyes open as a giant wave of numbness overcame you, making your thoughts fuzzy as a buzzing feeling engulfed you. It came and went in waves, leaving you a good part disoriented as Hanji spoke, "You're gonna be ok, I promise you (Y/N). Erwin's finding you someone who can help!" From an outsider's perspective, it would seem as if the girl were optimistic about your chances of survival, however, the worry that painted itself comfortably upon her face made it quite evident that despite the words she spouted, she didn't fully believe them. Taking a shaky breath, you looked up at her and asked the question that was playing the most at your mind since you had been compromised, "W-Why?"

"Why? Why what?"

"Why did-d he…?"

Realisation as to what you were asking clicked in as she replied, "I don't know, (Y/N)." she let out, her words pronounced in a way that took a vengeful jab at the man who remained still where Hanji had left him, "I truly don't. Just please, don't strain yourself. Keep your energy, p-please."

It seemed to hit the woman at full force what was happening as you noticed her eyes suddenly water, looking down at your torn, blood-soaked shirt that she tried to keep a tight hold on and seeing that the crimson stain was slowly growing still, ' _This isn't looking too good, is it?_ ' you realised, watching as the pools in Hanji's dark chocolate orbs started to brim and teeter on the verge that would cause them to overspill, ' _Is this where I die? Fighting all of those titans, all of those dangerous situations my line of work put me in, and I get taken out by a knife in what should be a safe space?_ '

Your head became clouded once more as imaginary pins and needles pricked at your body, numbing you to your core as you started to go through another wave of numbness -faintly being able to hear quickened and hurried footsteps in the background, as well as a few shots coming from people you didn't know; or at least you didn't recognize them, "ᴵ'ᵛᵉ ᵍᵒᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵗⁱᵗᶜʰⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵃᵗᵉʳⁱᵃˡ!" "ᴴᵘʳʳʸ, ʷᵉ ᶜᵃⁿ'ᵗ ʷᵃˢᵗᵉ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ!" "ᵂᵉ'ᵛᵉ ᵍᵒᵗ ᵗᵒ⁻!" You shut your eyes to tune everything out, however, you soon found yourself tired and sleepy and started to drift off; everyone at the scene uncertain if it would be the last or not as they started to work on you desperately, Hanji backing away and staring in horror with blood-soaked hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated February 20, 2021!
> 
> This one was written for Ray here on AO3, because they had really wanted an alternate ending to Chapter 28 haha ^^'' I'm sorry that some of it is doubled -I felt that it wouldn't make that much sense without it- but I promise that the new parts I wrote for this are over 1000 words ((the lowest amount of words it takes for me to publish an OVA))
> 
> I'm also sorry that I'm posting more angst right after (Y/N) died ^^''


	50. OVA 10║The Big Day

**XXXXXXXX, XXXX XX, XXX at XX:XX**

\----------------------------------------------------------

Letting out an anxious sigh, you did your best to keep your fingers from gripping at the sides of your white dress; you'd hate for anything to happen to it, especially after all of the preparation that was put into making today as special as possible, "How're you holding up?"

As Petra asked the question from behind you, Gunther jumped in as well, "Yeah, do you still feel nervous?"

Not being able to lie to them, you looked downwards a little before turning around to the entirety of the Special Operations Squad who had been behind you, "I'm doing fine, I just can't seem to shake these nerves…" you admitted, a little more quietly at the end.

Today was the day you were to get married to Hanji Zoë; the very woman you loved to no end and would do just about anything for. It had surprised you when she had proposed to you, dropping down on one knee one night right before the both of you went to bed -as sleep was something that was a lot more common to the both of you now that you tended to share a bed in her office. The moment always managed to replay itself in your mind countlessly every time you looked down at your hand, the engagement ring sparkling brightly whenever the light hit it at the right angle and causing you to smile without an exception. There had even been a few times you had caught Hanji herself staring at it upon your finger, a joyous smile upon her lips as she seemed to remember that you were going to marry one day.

' _That's right, and today's that day.'_

“You’ll be ok,” Eld softly reassured, sending you a smile that made you feel better a small bit, “Once you get out there, I’m sure you’ll forget all about it.”

“I hope so.” you agreed with him, imagining yourself stepping out of the building and out into the garden where Hanji might already be waiting for you at the end of a decorated pathway. “Don’t bother worrying about it,” Oluo spoke while side-glancing you, not being able to help his typical overly-egotistical behaviour -yet even though it could be taken as rude by some, you knew that he was doing his best to help you at the moment, “We’ve spent all this time dolling you up, there’s no way four-eyes won’t think you’re pretty.”

“Oluo!”

“What? It’s true.”

“I’m not talking about that part, you can’t call Han-!”

“Oi, (L/N). Are you ready?” Levi interjected, closing the wooden door to the room you were in behind him with a dry knock on the wall and causing the two people who had been arguing to abruptly stop, him sending a raised brow to the two who looked like they had been caught doing something bad before looking to you curiously as if to ask, ‘What in the name of the Walls is going on here?’

You couldn’t help but giggle at the entire scene, Eld and Gunther letting out chuckles of their own as the three of you shared a knowing look, ‘ _Man, this really takes me back._ ’ After taking a second for yourself and putting a hand gently to your chest, you let out with a contented sigh when you realised that you felt quite a bit better, “Yes, I’m ready Levi.”

“That’s good, now let’s not keep shitty-glasses waiting.”

Walking up to the ravenette, the both of you linked your right arm and his left one together as he let out a hidden sigh, hesitating slightly before opening the door, “When I handed you over to her the first time for titan testing, I thought that would be that last time. I didn’t realise that I would have to do this twice, brat.”

The curvature dancing upon your lips only deepened, you side-glancing at him and offering him a half-genuine apologetic smile, “I’m sorry, Levi.”

“Tch.”

The man opened the door, allowing for you to exit first with him soon behind; you weren’t paying any attention to that however, given that as soon as you were greeted to the outside air, your eyes immediately flittered over to the floral archway where Hanji stood waiting for you. She donned a suit coloured a true black, her hair pulled back in her typical ponytail that was much calmer than the one that you were used to seeing daily -save for those few, rare occasions where she had either brushed it out or had her hair down right after she was done taking a shower. As you slowly stepped your way closer, in the space that was silent aside from the symphony the birds provided for the many present and the faint, soft clicks of your shoes touching to the ground, your smile brightened when her honeyed hues fell upon you, eyes enlarging and cheeks garnering a reddish tint to them as she took you all in; to say she thought you beautiful would be a grand understatement.

Eventually, Levi let go of your arm, and as you paced yourself -trying not to trip over your own feet on your way over as you passed those invited, you found yourself taking small glances towards the ground; although overall you kept your spheres locked on your future wife's, smiling the biggest you had ever remembered as she returned a similar upwards lift of her lèvres.

After a moment, you reached the other two people at the end of the manmade path -Hanji, and the person who would be marrying you both. Standing in your placement across from her, you could already feel your eyes start to water up, ' _I don't think there is a single being on this earth that could even come close to making me feel like Hanji makes me. Safe, cherished, loved…_ ' you took in every feature you could about her, noticing now that you were a little closer that she did in fact have more loose strand to her hair than you had previously noticed; that only made you smile brighter however, looking past the reflection of your own eyes in her glasses as you tried to communicate wordlessly how happy you were to her, ' _She makes me feel happy, I just wish there was a word to express to her properly how much I do._ '

You only realised that you had partially spaced out when Hanji gently grabbed your hand, taking a ring with a beautiful display of white gems and sliding it on your finger -slightly biting her tongue in concentration as she did so. The man who had offered you the rings was none other than the brunette's personal assistant, Moblit donning his own tux to fit the occasion as he tried not to break down crying as well at the thought of the two of you marrying. You almost wanted to comfort him, but you knew it wouldn't be appropriate -so you in the end settled on taking your hand and picking up the matching ring that mirrored your own, grabbing Hanji's left hand in your own and carefully sliding the cool metal down her finger. You went to pull your hand reluctantly from hers as Moblit left only for her to tighten hee hold on your hand, opting to keep a physical grasp on you as the person right beside the both of you spoke up, "Hanji Zoë, do you take (Y/N) (L/N) to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love her in sickness and in health, in poverty and in fortune, for as long as the both of you shall live?"

She looked to you, her eyes watering up this time as she gently ran her thumb against the back of your one hand, "I do."

"And do you, (Y/N) (L/N), take Hanji Zoë to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love her in sickness and in health, in poverty and in fortune, for as long as the both of you shall live?"

"Yes, I d-do." you had to visibly bite your lip to stop yourself from sobbing right then and there as you tried your best not to cry in front of all of your friends and family.

"Then you may now kiss the bride."

Truth be told, you weren't sure if they were talking to you, or your beloved wife, but you found yourself uncaring as you were pulled into a kiss, tears now spilling past your eyes as you leaned into the sentimental moment and moulded your lips against hers; savouring that sweet taste her lips never failed to hold whenever she kissed you, the both of you holding onto the other as if you were each other's lifelines as everyone cheered the two of you on loudly.

' _I love her so much._ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated February 22, 2021!
> 
> This one was written for @Candle_lighttt here on AO3 ^^ Sorry if it's a little off though, I've only ever been to one wedding truth be told, and it was when I was like seven lmao
> 
> Also, originally I was going to tell it from Hanji's perspective and have it end up being Hanji imagining what could have been at (Y/N)'s funeral, but I decided that y'all had been through too much angst and deserved some fluff haha ^^''


	51. OVA 11║Ilse's Journal

**XXXXXXXX, XXXX XX, 850 at XX:XX**

\---------------------------------------------------------- ****

_Dear Hanji,_

_I'm sorry. If you're reading this, I am so very sorry. It hurts me to write this, I really wish that things didn't have to be this way; but we're not that lucky, are we?_

No matter how much she thought about it at first, she could not understand how you managed to sound so calm through your words. You clearly knew the worst situations that could arise from you going through with it, so why did you? It had been four weeks and two days since that day, and she herself was now starting to understand; although she swore she would live as long as she could until she saw a noble cause -just as you had. She wouldn't let herself expire before then, and she told herself that when she inevitably did, that it would hopefully be as calm as you had made it out to be.

_Let’s not be all mopey though, let me get straight to the point. I got to thinking the other day -or at least it feels like it to me, but I'm pretty sure it was before this past expedition- about how we came to be, the two of us together._

Shaking her head the smallest bit, she refocused her thoughts and looked around her to figure out where she was -the girl had been making her way through town when she, for seemingly the millionth time in the past month or so, got lost in her own head again.

She pointed her view up towards the sky momentarily, noting to herself the few darkened clouds that hung in the air as she realised that it seemed as if it would rain in half an hour or so; the typically stark-white puffs that spotted themselves above a small bit lower with a grey tinting that was rather fitting to her mood at the moment, so in the end she found herself not minding the unpredicted change in weather as she continued to step her way across the cobblestone streets in Wall Rose. They weren't as perfectly straight and aligned as the ones she had seen in Wall Sina, but these were the ones that she was more used to -the woman easily making her way and slipping past people hurrying to get home before the storm on the street as she went.

_It all leads back to that one journal entry Ilse wrote, doesn't it? Ilse's Journal. What would it be, four years ago now that it was written, and about three that it was discovered? That sounds about right._

Eventually, the cinnamon haired girl reached her destination, allowing herself to stop right outside the door and eye the outside of it as she had two weeks ago when she had first been here. The place hadn't changed, just as she had expected, and it still held that odd mixture of a home and factory about it as she put her hand on the cold brass knob, twisting it and pulling the door open. The inside was small -at least the part that the customers could see, no one besides those who worked here knew how big it was in the back- but she didn't find herself cramped in the space even with the other person who was talking to the man seeming to run the entire business at the one counter. The rest of the room's decor consisted of mirrors, windows to the outside, a few and sparse hung paintings and multiple shelves, each one holding one piece of jewellery or another -and briefly, the section commander found herself wondering how this place managed to keep such items so close to the door without said items being stolen.

_Either way, I was morbidly curious as to what was in it; of course, that was only after chasing you when you took Bramble into that one forest to go after that titan -I thought you were completely insane, and sometimes I still do if I'm going to be honest._

She was called up, the previous client taken care of as she put her hands in the front pockets of her white jeans, allowing her one thumb to trace over the edge of a piece of paper hidden away that proved she had already paid for the job to be done weeks ago.

“Good afternoon miss!” the employee greeted with a warm smile, “How may I help you? Picking up?”

Weakly, she gave him a small turn of her lips as she nodded her head, pulling out the parchment she had just fiddled with and showing it to him as her proof of purchase, “Yeah.” The male’s eyes scanned over the papyrus he had scribbled on, confirming that the woman before him did in fact pay as he shot her yet another smile and started to take fluid, backwards steps towards the backroom, “One second miss, let me just grab it.”

_It was later that night that I snuck into your room and actually found out what was in there, Ilse wrote about a talking titan -something I would have never even fathomed in my wildest dreams._

“Ms Hanji Zoë, correct?” he asked as he came back out into the front room, the label he was reading hanging on the outside of a smaller, brown paper bag that was weighed down ever so slightly, “That’s me.” she answered, reaching her hand outwards and delicately wrapping her fingers around the bag when he offered it to her. “Well, it seems like you’re all good to go miss! I hope you enjoy the rest of your day!”

“You too, take care.” She _hated_ it. She hated how everyone seemed to be so unusually and overly cheery around her, being cautious as to not mention your name -or even the event that had taken place about a month ago- as to not upset her; it was clear to her that even people she didn’t know could pick up on her downcast attitude, as she hadn’t recalled the man who had just serviced her being that happy when he had helped his previous customer and she was certain that he didn’t know of her or she of him. The woman let out a sigh, not having the heart to look on the inside of the bag just yet as she trusted the contents inside to be correct and opened the door to the building -stepping outside with the sky now considerably darker as she began to reconsider her calculations of downpour in half an hour.

_I think it was after you caught me that my fate was sealed. There was no turning back the second you asked me what I was doing in there, it's almost like I was destined to test on titans with you the moment Ilse wrote those words down and I decided I had to know what they said -as cheesy as that sounds._

The first few drops of rain fell onto the ground as she reached the Survey Corps’ Head-Quarters, the girl feeling some of the pressing taps upon her assigned leather jacket that she could just about always be found wearing as she headed into the main entrance. Not even bothering to look around the room -she had been here countless times and knew the place like the back of her hand, so what was the point?- she went over to the stairs and started to climb upwards, the bag still in her grasp as she started on the second floor down a hallway.

Candles dimly lit the space she traversed; someone had already been tasked with the job of lighting them all seeing as it had gotten considerably darker outside due to the rain -and even once it did finally clear up, she doubted that the sun would be shining brightly for long, if at all, before the moon came to dominate the sky. There was a light pitter-patter knocking against the glass window panes, the sound soothing as she listened attentively to it for just a moment and felt herself being affected by its calming power.

_Regardless, I need to thank Ilse; I need to thank her endlessly for writing what she had down because it all led me to you. And I'm sorry for getting sappy right now, but I love you so, so much. I'm aware it wasn't long ago that we started dating, but still -I, (Y/N) (M/N) (L/N), love you, Hanji Zoë, to the stars and back. The very same ones we watched sparkle in the moonlit sky that night you asked me out, the same ones you made me one of the happiest people in the Walls when you kissed me after I said yes._

As she reached her door, she found herself hesitant to open the smooth, wooden door to step inside; not completely sure if she truly wanted to open up her purchase and see the final product -she eventually did proceed however, entering inside the room and shutting the door behind her with a soft click. The section commander could only bring herself to lean against the door she had just closed for a minute, feeling as if the endroit was oddly suffocating as she looked around the blacked room -it looked the same, nothing much had changed. Precisely, that was exactly why she was having such a hard time being in her own room -she had been avoiding it as much as she could until about two weeks ago, passing out in her lab and begging Moblit to allow her to sleep on his couch for a few nights because it was the last place she had seen you. It was only when Erwin requested paperwork that she had to enter the room, and that was when she had seen it.

She knew what it was from the moment she had seen it carelessly discarded on the floor.

No, she wasn't sure what it was doing there as she was sure it had been on her table, but she knew that the chances of it not being what she had thought it was were low; so, after stuffing it into her breast pocket and doing a few more quick things -namely getting the paperwork for the commander of the Survey Corps and a few other papers addressed to her- she hurried out of the room. It hurt her sincerely to be here now -after the countless hours that had been spent over titan-testing with you, it was just simply too much too soon.

_Ok, now I really am getting sappy… especially since you might not even see this; if nothing happens I'll make sure to hide this away before you get the chance to see it so then I don't embarrass myself -not that I haven't told you that I love you before though._

Bringing herself over to her shadowed, mint-coloured couch, she sat herself down with creaky floorboards and stared at the bag smally with tired hues of a dark chocolate brown, carefully opening up the bag and reaching her hand inside. She couldn't help the way a small gasp fell out of her throat, nor could she prevent the way her eyes started to water up the smallest bit as she felt the cool touch of a metal to her skin; she knew that it would hurt at first, but she also knew that it would hurt even more to completely leave you in the past and to the memories of a dwindling few. Grasping the item within her hold, she felt a small, but seemingly sturdy, chain slip between the cracks of her fingers, a heavier weight upon her ring and middle finger as she pulled her hand out of the paper bag that was soon dropped to the floor without a single thought.

_I'm running out of time now however, I have to go get 3DM gear and make sure that Leonhardt doesn't get away with what she did to my family -you know who I mean by that._

There, in her hand, lay a pendant hooked onto a chain; the silver colouring that could only come from a blade matching perfectly with the adornment, her watching as it glimmered and shined in the faint light that still managed to find its way into her office from behind her desk. The majority of the metal she had brought in about half a month ago to the jewellers had been used to make the charm part of the necklace -seeing as the chain was on the shorter side, but still a comfortable looking length to wear regardless- not a single scrap wasted it seemed as the business had smelted the metal perfectly into a miniature journal. She didn't care how weird it might have looked to others that she currently owned a necklace with a journal as a pendant, because the piece of jewellery was worth so much more to her than what anyone could imagine; she had wanted it to hold meaning, something secret that only the two of you would understand, and after reading the letter you had written her, she knew that having part of the metal of one of your blades melted down into a smaller booklet was one of the only things that would ever fit the description.

_I just need to say thank you Hanji, in case this really does end up being the end for me and one day you read this, thank you so much for the wonderful memories you've made for me, for the countless days of mine you've brightened, and for sticking up for me when no one else would._

Hanji felt herself bite her lip to try and hold back a sob as she angled it partially in the limited lighting the room had -feeling an extra punch to her gut when she saw that _(Y/N) (L/N) + Hanji Zoë forever and always_ was lightly engraved on its back within a heart in an elegant, cursive script. It may have represented Ilse's journal physically, but to the both of you, it now held its own little bittersweet twist to it.

_I love you more than you could ever imagine,_

_(Y/N) (L/N)._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Completed February 24, 2021.
> 
> I-...
> 
> This is it. There are no more chapters or OVAs for me to write. I feel like I should say a little more, but there's not really much more to say given as I said most of what I wanted too on the last chapter.
> 
> I hope you guys have a great day!! ;-;

**Author's Note:**

> Updated every Wednesday until completion, starting on the 14th of May, 2020! ((Ironically a Thursday lmao))
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> ((If anybody would like to translate this into another language, please let me know! ^^))


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